Get Booked – Domenique Fragale, Antibullying + Mental Health Ambassador

Welcome to today's Get Booked radio show here in Covent Garden, supporting women's emotional well-being, opening discussions, and offering support via the incredible writers out there. You can come and share my love of books and hazelbutterfield.com because that's me, and my specific book Instagram feed @getbookedwrs. Today we are continuing our series of interviews we've been having here for Get Booked on mental health bloggers, Instagrammers, and podcasters, and all the incredible advocates out there sharing their knowledge, experience, and the power of writing. Today joining us in the studio is Dominique Fregale, did I pronounce that correctly? Very close, Dominique Fregale, you did really well. You did really well, you did better than most people do. I normally get Dominique Fraggle. Oh wow. And people expect a guy, genuinely. Right. Yeah, and then they see me and they're like, oh, it's a surprise. Wow. Yeah, 'cause they don't do their research. No, they don't, you're right, you've done your research. Yeah, I've been reading your blogs and everything. Oh good. I was kind of sitting there on the train this morning and I obviously I read them all when we first started talking to each other and I read them all again this morning And I was just sitting there, the one about the, about not having judgment. And I was sitting there and just, there's so many questions I have for you. Great. And I can't wait to get going. But there's a lot we want to discuss 'cause you are an ambassador for MQ Mental Health Foundation. Yes, I am. That was just recently actually. That was about a couple of months ago. They approached me to talk about mental health and discussions and experiences I've had in my life. And it was only up until about the start of this year maybe that I really opened up about losing my friend to suicide. A couple of years ago, I was living in LA and I got really close with an actress, a fellow actress, as I was acting out there. And she hid from me and her family for a while that she had severe depression and anxiety. And she was severely bullied as well. It got to the point where people were telling her and encouraging her to end her life over Facebook or Snapchat. They need to be brought to action, these people. It needs to be a part of some sort of manslaughter or it's appalling. Yeah, it's because people think that behind screens, you know, people think they can get away with it like trolls and things like that and it's not. I mean, yes, that Facebook and a lot of social media sites are now putting in place a like a barrier and a border that, you know, everyone that has something, they've done something wrong, there'll be a repercussion for it. But it needs to be addressed quicker, I think, really. Yes, but also it's hard to stop somebody. I mean, you can block somebody on WhatsApp, or there are so many different ways. And sometimes it's, it can be, it can be realized that it's happening, and it's, it's not necessarily through social media. As you said in your blog, this was a lot of her old friends, and I use friends very loosely. Yeah, I mean, they weren't, yeah. But they weren't, and it was— Not at all. And it sounds to me like it was all based around jealousy, and it's like, oh, look at their amazing life, they can take a bit of stick. Absolutely, it was. No, it's not, and I think that's one of the main problems about social media. It's difficult for people to see the real life and what's happening on a screen in front of them, and I think it takes a lot of experience for someone to understand that it's not, you know, it's not real life, it isn't, and especially kids, Growing up today, there's so much pressure. There's so much pressure on children. I mean, I was working with the Diana Award. They're a charity based on that young people can change the world and mentoring and anti-bullying. And there was a campaign they did with ASOS. And I remember sitting in the office and I was just helping them with their data. And these kids filled out a questionnaire and it was from 0 to 10, how confident do you feel in your bodies? These children, bearing in mind like 8 to 13, most of the answers were 0, 1, 0, 1s. And it's because they felt like they couldn't compare to these people they see on Instagram and these models and things like that. And after this mentoring program that Diana Ward put in place, these kids were having so much better self-motivation and self-confidence. They felt so much better about themselves, but it has to be addressed at the core, I think, with children as young as possible. It needs to start there. Yeah, we need to make sure that our kids are confident with who they are and that they are empowered and We've gotta start with the children 'cause, you know, it's a lot harder to change people the older that they get. Oh, absolutely. But I find, I mean, I was just walking around a festival the other day and even I was comparing myself. I mean, I quite often get, I'm quite busy and sometimes go, oh look, they look so pretty, they've done this, they've done their eyebrows, they've done, and you find yourself comparing yourself sometimes to a 14, 15-year-old, but you're also thinking, why is a 14, 15-year-old having tattooed eyebrows and spending hours figuring out how to contour because they've been told they've gotta look pretty to be appreciated. And you just think— and there's me there going— I actually felt guilty for kind of thinking, oh, I didn't even put makeup on today, I didn't brush my hair, I just put it up in a bun and made it look sleek. No, exactly. No, I'm sure you look great though. Um, but yeah, there's pressure on every aspect. I feel like especially, you know, it's great that you are using your radio station to empower women and well-being, and not just women but everyone and their well-being, which is amazing. But it's I feel like nowadays there's such a stigma that if you don't look a certain way or act a certain way, and there's so much pressure on people as well. It comes not only just in how you look, but it's also how you behave, and it trickles down to in your workplace and dating and things like that. And I mean, I'm working actually quite closely with Disney's Trust Mental Health organization, and they're, their core, what they want to achieve is that people in corporate worlds can actually say, you know, when someone says, "Oh, are you okay today?" And you're like, "Oh yeah, I'm fine." It's actually thought, "No, no, no, what's wrong? What's up? You can talk to me." Because in corporate organizations, there's so much, you know, you've gotta have this certain look, this bravado almost, and there's so much pressure. Do you know what? Something happened to me about 10 years ago. And I was horrified. I was in an office, it was predominantly men. I'd been the only woman there. Northern scene has been quite strong. I probably put up with a bit too much. Well, I know I did put up with more than what I should have done. Another girl came in and my boss said, "You can't wear leggings. This is a corporate office." And she said, "But Hazel wears." Hazel wears leggings, so why can't I? And they went, yeah, but she's got the ass to pull it off. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. So I turned, she burst into tears and my boss who was ridiculous turned around and said, yeah, I'm gonna get in trouble. I said, you can't say stuff like that, 'cause can you fix it? I said, I kind of really don't want to, but I can help this work in her favor. And I turned around and said, is what can I do to make you feel like you are better with this situation? Do you wanna stay here? Do you wanna sue him? What do you wanna do? It's not okay. I said, what I can do is I can blag a load of memberships for you and things like that. And I felt terrible doing it, but at the end of it, she walked away with, she wanted a hockey membership, she wanted this, she wanted that. He forked out quite a lot of money and it's not okay, But she kind of went, do you know what, I feel like I've got something out of it. But it was appalling. This is 10 years ago. You've got to remember the whole MeToo thing and shaming people has only really come about in 3 or 4 years. And it was like, but he on the company. I said, you've got, you know, if you want to sue him, you kind of. Yeah, you can't, yeah. It's a tricky situation. So I basically, the only power I had was I shamed him but got him to pay for a lot for her. And it felt so wrong, but also at the same time, she was then empowered that she got something that she wanted that she couldn't afford to have. Yeah, sure. Do you know what I mean? It's really wrong. And I just, it still sticks in my mind just thinking, ah. But he was scared then after. He didn't do it again. Yeah, of course. But if people don't hold people accountable, but, god. Yeah, I wonder what it'd be like now if that, happened now, do you know what I mean? I just, yeah, but for you to have it to stick in your mind for so long, it's clearly made a really big impression on you and— Well, I still don't, I think I did the right thing, but I didn't know, I asked her what she wanted me to do and I basically got her the best result that I thought I could. She was very new into the business, she wasn't, they were offering her training and everything and they were paying for it all if she'd have stopped it, so, It's a toughie, right? It is hard. It's really hard. It is really tricky to know when it's best to say something or when to stay silent. I mean, when I first started talking about my friend Hagen, I, you know, it was hard for me to come out with it because I didn't want people to think, "Oh, she's using it as an attention." And it's like, no, no, no, I have to say something. So other people out there can hear about this and think, "Oh no, something might be happening with my friend. Let me just ask, 'Are you okay?'" Because 3 simple words go such a long way. Well, that's that really powerful Samaritan's advert, isn't it? Something came up the other day on, we're in a local neighborhood group and somebody put on there, at the train station this morning, somebody very blatantly accidentally fell into the train track., but the train managed to stop in time. She got up quickly, got on her bike and ran away and wouldn't let anybody help her. And they said, I was there throughout the whole thing. In no way, shape or form did she fall. And if she was going to get on the train, why did she use her bike? And they just said, please, if anybody knows this woman, please just ask your friends, are you okay? And it got the most traction out of the post for months and months and months. And it is, it's just saying, Hey, and it's so powerful. It's so incredibly powerful. We haven't even slightly got onto any of your blogs yet, but it's all extremely important. It's all about opening conversations and offering people advice and also just letting people know that they're not on their own, 'cause a lot of mental health issues are based around loneliness and wanting to isolate yourself 'cause you just don't know what to do, what to say, who to approach. It's absolutely heartbreaking, but this is what we are doing here. Now, when we come back after the break, I want to talk about a couple of the blogs that you've written and make sure that people know where they can go and find these blogs. I am gonna be putting the links up as well on the details as so people can go and see them at any point. Also, once when the show's aired, you can always find it on the Women's Radio Station SoundCloud afterwards. Right, we will be back in a couple of minutes. Here's some messages. Welcome to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons Live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte, on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie May Is Listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station supporting women's well-being and we're talking all things autism. Women, the possibility The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Falguni Desai of Action Coach. Are you a business owner with more than 5 employees? Do you want to grow your business? I'm a London-based business coach who helps small and medium-sized businesses to grow and make a profit. 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Women's Radio Station's creating a global network for the empowerment of women, and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter at Women's Radio Station, that's Women's Radio STN, or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs. Welcome back to the second section of our Get Booked show. Here today I have Dominique in the studio. We've been chatting away, um, and we, we jumped straight in, didn't we, really? We did, yeah. Um, now we have just been talking about, um, one of the reasons why you are so heavily involved in mental health advocacy I'd like to talk to you about one of your blogs that you wrote on MQmentalhealth.org, and it's I'm Never Quick to Judge. I'm gonna, all these links are gonna be put up everywhere, and also you can make sure that you follow Dominique at Dominique.Fragale. It's a very weird spelling, so yeah, it's Fragale, yeah. Yeah, I know, it's Italian, so I can thank the Italian side for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're also on Twitter @dominiqueex. Yes. And you've got your own website as well. Yeah, just in case, just cram it all on one place. It's just easier for everyone. Yeah, all the details on there as well. But tell us, I mean, I was reading the blog, just flowed so beautifully and it just gets the point across in so many different ways in that it's not I thought it was quite unique in the way that it was written, that you covered so many different areas, but you kind of blamed yourself but then kind of didn't, and you were talking about the process that we all go through. And tell us a little bit more about what was going through your head. I kind of wrote it, so when I was researching and writing it, I looked back at the diary I kept whilst I lived in LA, and I just read through it a bit, and my diary didn't really make a lot of sense. It was very incoherent, and it was a little bit all over the place, all over the place whilst this was happening. Mind like that. Yeah, I don't know, it's like stream of consciousness, isn't it? Quick, I must write that line down otherwise I'll forget it. So then I went back to it and I thought, well, I'm never gonna really use these again and especially what happened with Hagen, I didn't really want to open it again but I thought, no, like I said earlier, that if this can help someone then it's done its job and I wrote it in a stream of, like we said, consciousness and I was writing it as if what was happening at the time. So at the time I did feel like I was, you know, part of me was to blame at some point. But then I also realized that I couldn't control her. Like, no one can control someone else. But I feel like that part of guilt, I feel like everyone has when they lose someone or something happens that they think they could have done something about. There's always that guilt and that, oh, I wish I did this, or that little part of regret. But if things didn't happen how they've happened or what happened, what I'm doing now, I probably never would have done. And I think that's what I really wanted to convey with the blog and especially in Hagan's memory. And I think that that's what's important. And I think working with MQ, they're a wonderful foundation and they're, the core of what they want achieve is researching into mental health and giving help and aid and answers to people who are confused about mental health. If they, you know, not everyone's a doctor, but some people want answers and that's what MQ are wanting to do. They want to get right to the point of it. And one of the biggest things I really admire, the first thing they told me when I joined them as an ambassador was that, you know, everyone says there's 1 in 4 people now suffering with mental health issue, but in reality it's 1 in 1 because every single person in the world knows someone and it's every single person, every single person and it might not be you and it might not be your best friend, it might not be your brother, it might not be your sister but someone is dealing with it so it's important to keep your eyes open and we've all been guilty of judging someone, we all have been. Yep. Absolutely, we all have been and no one's perfect but by going out of your way just a little bit can go a long way and I mean yesterday was World Empathy Day And just for a second, put yourself in someone else's shoes. And I know everyone's busy, I get it, I honestly, I get it, everyone's busy and think, oh, I don't have time for this. Just a second, a second can go such a long way. Just dropping the odd message or, do you know what, I put up this blog the other day, I'll actually send it to you, and I hadn't written it, I just came across it and I thought it was beautifully written, but somebody, will see it on my Facebook, my Instagram, my Twitter, and they will leave. It will either help them or they'll pass it on to somebody else. And it was basically entitled, I'm sorry that my depression and anxiety might have made me a rubbish friend. Yeah, yeah. Didn't pick up your calls, didn't, didn't respond to the message because I was so anxious as to what was the right thing to say that I just didn't bother. Yeah. That I hid, that I lied to you and pretended that I was out with somebody else when in fact I was staying inside because I just couldn't be around other people, so you thought I was lying and things like that. And it's— somebody has written that, and I bet that's helped more than thousands of people. And this is what we're doing here. This is what, you know, we are making sure that people have the different resources. They can hear what you've written about and know that it's going to help somebody and hopefully pass on that link to that person. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I wanted to write it in terms of that Someone said to me, it's very funny actually 'cause this happened about a couple of weeks ago, I was talking about blogs and my writing and my public speaking and everything and someone said to me, "Oh, so what do you suffer with?" And I said, "Oh, well, I don't actually have a mental illness as far as I know." And they said, "Well—" Give it time, love. Oh, I know, you never know. I mean, you never know. And I mean, I suffer with, I've definitely felt a lot of anxiety being an actor as well. Daily occurrence. You are not good enough. No, but everyone says I am good enough. But you're not good enough for this part. It's, it's a hard, that's, yeah, very hard profession. And, um, and I just thought, you know what, well, I'm writing it and I'm speaking on those who maybe don't want to, or maybe those who can't, or, and I'm coming at it in a way that someone who had no idea about mental health a couple of years ago, and this all happened to me and I had no idea what to deal with it. So this is why I want to speak and write. And you know what, the more you speak, the more you write, the more people interact, the more you develop a community. Exactly, yeah. And you meet people at your speaking engagements, and you just learn more through that process. I did actually have somebody on the show a few weeks back called Iveta Paravani, who runs a website called More Than Mind. She runs first aid training for businesses on mental health. Great. No CPR, nothing like that, it is just because if you're your staff are happy and healthy, or you know how to deal with things, do you know what, they'll stay. Yeah. They'll be happy, they won't wanna leave a company that supports them, so although you're helping somebody, it's kind of just good business sense as well. Completely, yeah, completely. But yeah, she runs First Aid Training. I'll definitely check her out, I like that. Yeah, it's brilliant, I'll send you the link. Yeah. And it's incredible, I've actually, I sent it over to a friend of mine, and he's like, I'm already booked on. Way ahead of you. Yeah, way, way ahead of you. Now, another blog that I wanna discuss that you've written, is for the Diana Award. Now I'd like you to explain a little bit more about the Diana Award in a bit, but firstly, you have the power to be a superhero. Yeah, I wrote that. They asked me to write a piece. I've been involved with them since I was, gosh, 13, 12, 13, so many years ago. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, it's gone so quick, but I'll talk about that later. But yeah, I wrote this piece and they just said, you know, like, can you— they gave me a couple of lines, they were like, can you write something for our award holders who, you know, anti-bullying award holders and mainly younger children, just write something for them about not pressurizing yourself a lot. And I thought, oh, there's so many ways you could do that. But, and at the time it was all when the Marvel superheroes were coming out and, you know, great. But I just thought, well, what does everything, you know, a kid We all want to be superheroes at one point. Like, do you know what I mean? I'm even still today, that'd be great. But I ended up in hospital jumping off a— Do you know when you used to think you could fly when you're about to go through it? Yeah, you can't. You can't? No. What? I tried it. Don't try and fly, everyone. Unless you're in an aircraft. Oh, bless your little heart. Again, I'm doing the thing, you know, like Superman. Yeah, but perfect for radio. Perfect for radio. So I just thought, well, you know what? I'm going to put myself in the mind at that, you know, at the heart of everything. We're still kids at the end of the day. And so anyone, when, so basically it kind of stemmed from me realizing that there's a difference between being a perfectionist and a high achiever. And a perfectionist, oh my gosh, self, you know, self-professed perfectionist. Perfectionist for years, absolutely years. I think that might have been an influence from school, from family, from friends, you know, wanting to do the best. And I went to an all-girls school, so that itself was very competitive as well. And, um, it took me a long time to realize that being a perfectionist and being a high achiever are completely different. High achiever is great, you know, you're aiming for a lot of things, you've got a great journey ahead of you, but also it's important to appreciate and live for that journey and live in that moment and take in everything that you've done and achieved and appreciate it and enjoy it. Whereas a perfectionist tends to be someone who's just aiming for one thing, and if something good happens along the way or something negative happens along the way, they don't take in that lesson. They don't appreciate that journey. And even when you achieve that goal, they think, oh, that'll be happiness. It's— it might not necessarily be that. So being a high achiever is what we should all aim for. But if we are always perfect, what is there ever to learn? Exactly. How dull would that be? Exactly. You know, make mistakes and then grow from it and then become, yeah. Otherwise life has got to be so dull. Who's wanna be perfect? Well, exactly, I mean, superheroes in our eyes are deemed as, you know, they can be deemed as perfect sometimes, but there's always room for improvement for everyone. But that's what makes a journey great and At the end of the blog, I put that, you know, even superheroes need a break. So don't be so hard on yourself if you haven't got what you wanted to do done that day. There's always tomorrow, and you can always do your best that day. And that again links to your mental health. Don't put so much pressure on yourself always to be the best, to be perfect. I did actually have a conversation with somebody who wanted me to start something with him which was about empowering other people. And he says, I'm terrible at doing it for myself, but I know I'm good at doing it for some— for other people, right? And if I can do that for somebody else, that will just be a life goal. And that to him is his superhero power. And we all have something. Yeah, we do. Yeah. And yeah, I wonder what my superhero power is. I can make a mean meal. Great. Which makes people happy. Great. What is your meal? I could make like loads of things. Just be anything. That would be great. That'd be a great superpower. Red wine and chorizo, cakes, gyozas. Just speaking my language, it's great. Veggie burger. I can make a mean vegetarian burger. Vegetarian spaghetti bolognese. Nice. Yeah, I love it. I cook all the time. It's got some control freaks, so you've got to be good at cooking so that people will be happy. Yeah, I'll high achieve to get to your point. Right, we'll be back in a couple of minutes. Welcome to the Women's Radio Station, supporting women's well-being. Women's Radio Station is all about diversity, from opinions, career, ethnicity, education, and most importantly, women's well-being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. 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Please join me for a brand new show here on Women's Radio Station. It's Mother's Hour. If like me, you're a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them, this is definitely the show for you. We'll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together. With spoonfuls of advice, incredible stories, it will be a refreshing, honest, and funny look at being a mum. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness, or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turn2us.org.uk. Welcome to the Women's Radio Station, supporting women's well-being. Women's Radio Station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities, including individual programs. We can tailor your experience for you. For more information on how you can sponsor a show, go to womensradiostation.com. Women's Radio Station supporting women's well-being. Hello and welcome back to Get Booked here at our studio in Covent Garden, supporting women's emotional well-being. I'm Hazel Butterfield, and we have been chatting away to Dominique. Now, um, I said to you before we started this show that I have so many questions to ask you, and I haven't even scrolled down my iPad to start yet. We're just chatting away. I know, you make me— you know, it's so comfortable. That's why I'm just gonna keep on chatting. We could do like a 4-hour show, just turns into a massive podcast. Yeah, it is. Brilliant, can't wait. Now I am actually gonna ask you a question. Oh, okay, here we go, brace yourself. Oh gosh. Right, okay, so you are an award holder, public speaker for the Diana Award. Can you explain a little bit more about what the Diana Award is? Yeah, absolutely. So I was working on an internationally shown short film when I was about 12 or 13 tackling gun crime and anti-bullying. And from that short film, I was nominated for a Diana Award and I was then awarded the Diana Award at the BAFTA Theatre. And from then, I started really working closely with the Diana Award and the Diana Award's main motivation and the core of their beliefs is that young people can change the world. That is their motto. Through their anti-bullying schemes and their mentoring programs where they go into schools and they give talks from confidence and wellbeing, safety online, mental health, anti-bullying of course, and they give just techniques how you can stay safe online and be kinder to each other and help your community. And through that, these young children from ages 8 to 18 can be awarded the Diana Award and from then on, they can, there's so much doors that are open to them. I mean, it helps them not only in their school life but in the future. I mean, they've got partnerships with Barclays and Facebook and Snapchat and they work so closely with so many different people and they're forever expanding. I mean, the princes, Prince William, Prince Harry are involved a lot as well and they give talks and they, it's just wonderful, these young kids to see the royal family and the men being so approachable and so open and so welcoming. And it's honestly, it's exceptional being around it, to be at their events with them or at Downing Street. It's wonderful and it gives these kids really something that they are changing the world. And they are creating a great path. And although we should be getting involved with things like that Diana Award, for the sake of doing good, but do you know what? If you're trying to get ahead in life, if you're trying to get a job, having an award for bullying is not gonna get you a job. Having a Diana Award is definitely gonna look better for you. We should all just be doing things that encourage people to just go in that direction. And you know what? And shame the rest. I mean, we've got to push it out of the system. Yeah, I mean, and that's exactly what they're doing there. The Diana Award, it comes from the inspiration that Princess Diana wanted to make a better world and that's exactly why her sons are involved and it's not, you know, you think, oh, the royal family, they're so scary, they're so, you know, it's something you'll never know about but— They have got to be struggling. I mean, first of all, they lost their mum in horrific circumstances and then they're plunged into this world that they did not choose to have Everything is assessed. I mean, Prince Harry, when he wore a rather unfortunate costume, we can get away with doing whatever we want at the age of 15, 16, 17, 18, actually up until 55, whatever. Yeah, anything. Actually, until, I don't know why I said 55, that's a ridiculous age. I think I was just trying to make some sort of weird example, but everything is judged. Oh, of course it is, absolutely, absolutely, of course, absolutely, but I think that's why it's so lovely that these men are coming in and they're talking to the kids and they're getting involved and they, you can see that when they come and give talks, they really care. They really, really care. And I think that's just a wonderful example of how wonderful their mum was. Yeah, it's definitely their mother's blood in them, isn't it? Oh, absolutely, yeah. It's important. Now, another thing that you're doing as well, I mean, you have just, you've just got like amazing causes coming out of you left, right and center. Do you ever just sit and Netflix? Honestly, what am I, Killing Eve at the moment. Have you? Uh, second episode, second season, second episode just started on the tube. Okay, all right, so I've watched the first. Oh, so good. About to watch. Did you search pop art pajamas? Did you try and find some pop-up pajamas? Pop art, you know, the pajamas she wore? Oh yeah, I didn't search it. I want them. Oh, Melissa, you've got to go. Melissa, producer, you would love them. What, what am I doing here? Those pajamas, I was like, I want those Pajamas. Yeah, you did get a nem. I just remember that really big pink tutu thing she wore. Oh, I love that as well. Yeah, no, I could see you wearing that, like a Carrie Bradshaw type thing going on. Yeah, yeah. But I want the pajamas. Okay. But unfortunately, I did, I actually searched it so much that I found out that costume had got some, they wanted Spider-Man, but they couldn't do the Spider-Man ones because of the Marvel implications and they'd have to pay them for it. So they picked up this pop art material, they made the pajamas, added on the red. Very cool. Give it weeks, ASOS will have them. You'll find it. Oh yeah, they'll find it. I want to see something. Yeah, they will. They'll create them, that's what they do. They'll find it just for you. Actually, I know I've kind of gone off on a little bit of a tangent and we are gonna discuss beauty with a purpose in a second, but going back to what ASOS, you were saying about ASOS before. Yeah. Wasn't it ASOS that basically saw this plus-size lady being— she'd put a picture up on Facebook or Instagram, um, wearing this dress going, oh, I feel amazing. And somebody went, uh, no, you look atrocious. And they were basically fat shaming her. And wasn't it ASOS that just went, we want you for our next plus? They made it for a model. Yeah, they did. I think— and it was— it was the— this is why it's good we're on radio, because I am now sticking my finger. It was the— yeah, it's the Tinder profile. That was it. That was it. He like Messaged her, this girl, and was like, you look awful in that dress, blah blah blah. Why? Why? Yeah, but then she ended up being a model. Then she ended up being a model anyway, so thank you, bye. Bye. Thank you for showing how much of an idiot you are. I know. And thank you for catapulting me into a modeling career. Yeah, I know, great, good for her. To be fair though, before I actually saw what was happening on that post, I looked at her and I was like, she looks amazing. She looks great in it. She's a great actress. She looked great. Yeah, and then I saw the bit below and I was like, whoa. I know, I think sometimes men have to realize that we don't dress for them, we dress for ourselves. And do you know what? If you don't like what somebody's wearing, because we're all individuals, keep it to yourself. Yeah, that's fine. Just don't say anything. Just be nice. That would be nice. Yeah. It would be. What is it? In a world where you're full of choices, choose to be kind. Yeah, that's, yeah. I mean, there we go. Sorted everything. Yeah, I know. Bing bang bosh. Done. Let's go. Should we go for a coffee? Yeah, great. But no, I do want to talk about Miss England and Beauty with a Purpose. Yes, Beauty with a Purpose. So I was entered into Miss England competition a couple of months ago by some friends, and it was honestly nothing I ever considered doing in the first place. Never at all. I mean, you see Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock and you see these Americanisms. Oh yeah, I know, I use these Americanisms of pageants and I was terrified. I was so nervous and it took some convincing from friends to be like, no, you know, do it, try and do it. And I was like, I don't know, I don't know if I want to do this because I'm quite confident, I'll try anything once person, but this I was not sure. So I entered anyway and one of the main reasons I really wanted to keep going with working with it was because that you could raise support and use as a platform to make awareness for charities you feel close for. So Beauty with a Purpose is the Miss England official charity where it helps third world countries, raising money and awareness from everything from housing, food in third world countries, education, again, mental health. Something that can really help these children and these people get by and actually live a proper sufficient life and as well as Beauty with a Purpose, I chose also Leukemia Care because my father about 10 to 12 years ago was diagnosed with leukemia and he was only given 10 years to live and I was only young, me and my brother were only really young and I saw how horrible that was to my family and I think none of us expected that to happen 'cause you never do expect something like that to happen to your family but then— You always think it's gonna be somebody else. You always do, you always do and but he was actually given a trial drug and he was like a guinea pig for it actually and when this trial drug kicked into him and had effect, it saved him and he now goes for checkups but he has like 0.0001% of having the leukemia come back again, which is wonderful. Wow. He's a fighter. My dad is a huge inspiration for me. And so do you get Beyoncé in your head whenever you say that? Yeah, a little bit. Oh my gosh. Yeah, he should. I'm trying to picture my dad singing that and it's a great image. Ask him later. I'll ask him. I'm going to go. Yeah. So, and as a family, we've raised over £50,000 So, um, it's not bad, is it? So, um, so that's why I wanted to go into Miss England even more, to raise awareness for Beauty with a Purpose but also leukemia care, and that pageants are not at all what people expect because these women are coming together and they've got inspiring stories and they're just trying to make a difference to their communities, especially in the UK, because we just like to advance and— yeah, and kind of steam the way forward for doing things slightly differently. Yes, absolutely. There's such a character and flair to these women, and it's not You know, not everyone who is chosen is stick thin and, you know, blonde and perfect and pretty and perky. They're not, and it's just the core of you as a person and what you want to achieve, and I think that's wonderful. There was a brilliant Miss University contest recently as well, and it was just everyone had to be in the final year and be doing well and things like that, and it was kind of the whole brains and beauty Do you think? Again, we're still focusing on the beauty, but you know, it was still, you know, promoting, predominantly, I think they were in STEM. Okay. Which was quite interesting. Yeah. 'Cause I think we're trying to encourage women to get more into the sciences. Yeah. We're cleverer, right? I'm joking, I'm joking. Oh, there's gonna be an outcry. No, I'm joking, it's fine. No, but you know what? We, men and women both have a lot to offer. Oh my gosh, yes. So we don't want just in one industry being 90% male in the same way that 90%, you know, led female industries. We need a nice kind of mixture. Yeah, it needs to be equal, yeah, of course. Yeah, I thought that was funny. Now, we just wasted our ad time. I know, I literally just, I just, I saw your producer put her hand up and I was like, oh no, we're gonna go to some ads again. We'll be back in a couple of seconds, don't go anywhere. Okay, I'd like to steamroll. Welcome to the Women's Radio Station, supporting women's well-being. Women's Radio Station is all about diversity, from opinions, career, ethnicity, education, and most importantly, women's well-being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our www.womensradiostation.com for more information. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, the UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service. This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators. You can contact me on 07825 44 12 12 and Liz, spelt L-I-S, @hazelmaytravel.co.uk. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money, or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash but just don't know where to start. At empowerandenrich.org, you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me at empowerandenrich.org and let's change your future together. Hi, I'm Carolyn Van Beers. Please join me for a brand new show here on Women's Radio Station. It's Mother's Hour. If like me, you're a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them, them, this is definitely the show for you. We'll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together. With spoonfuls of advice, incredible stories, it will be a refreshing, honest, and funny look at being a mum. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss? Illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turn2us.org.uk. Welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's well-being. Women's Radio Station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities, including individual programs. We can tailor your experience for you. For more information on how you can sponsor a show, go to womensradiostation.com. Women's Radio Station, supporting women's well-being. Hello and welcome back to the final section of Get Booked here at our delicious studio in Covent Garden. We are supporting women's emotional well-being, opening discussions and chatting away to incredible writers, bloggers, podcasters, ambassadors, you name it. We are chatting to loads of people and giving you lots of broad topics to think about and to hopefully pass on the information to your friends and just try and get everybody as happy and as healthy as we possibly can be. I've had— I still have Dominique in the studio. Had— past tense— he's still here, obviously. You can tell by the giggling in the background. Uh, we've been chatting away and we've been talking about Beauty with a Purpose, how you support leukemia care. Easy for for me to say. Yeah, it's a hard word. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just tongue-tied. I just don't think I've had enough coffee. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, espressos, martini, we were talking about. We were just in the break. Are you an espresso? Oh yeah, yeah, me too, absolutely. Yeah, it's like, it's like coffee, coffee, coffee. Oh, it's 12, martini, time to take over. Some chocolate and coffee, that's fine. Yeah, do you know what, um, there's a place that I go to and they put, um, they put hundreds and thousands on in instead of coffee beans. It works. Yeah, no, I can imagine. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, yeah. And popping candy. Okay, give it a whirl. I'll try it. Yeah, yeah, all right, I'll try it. Yeah, you can try anything once, right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, definitely. Um, espresso martinis do help. They give you energy to get through things and they help you socialize, which is all based around mental health. See, what about that? Linkinius link. I digress. So we have been talking about your blogging. We're gonna put up the links to one of your blogs, I'm Never Quick to Judge, and You Have the Power to Be a Superhero. But they can find out everything on your website at Dominique Frégale. That's the one. Yeah, it's a weird spelling of Dominique as well. It's apparently the male French version. I would have always thought to spell it that way. Oh, really? Yeah. No, it's usually D-O-M-I-N. But I've put, well, my parents— No, but that is a male one. That's Dominic. Yeah, yeah, and then you have a female, so you put Dominique with a Q-E-U-E. Hmm. I know, I can thank my parents for confusing names. To be honest, people find any reason to find a name, and I mean, I'm Hazel and people sometimes say, like, is that Ellie? I like your name though, it's a really lovely name. Thanks! Yeah. I like it too. Yeah. Yeah, I did actually, um, My ex-husband was a Smith. Sorry, I don't want to jinx the show. So I wouldn't change my name because Hazel Smith didn't have the same ring as Hazel Butterfield. No, Hazel Butterfield's lovely. Yeah, but it's not an issue anymore. Anyway, that's another show. That's our dating show. That's later on. That's Stefania Passamonte, isn't it? Yes. Anyway, cross-promotion, of course. The time has just been going by so quickly. I know, it's going so quick. I need to try, right, okay, this is the bit where we need to get in a few questions. Okay, actually, let's do it. Okay, do you have 3 tips for listeners regarding mental health and wellness? Absolutely, always be aware and like we said earlier, ask your friends, family, are you okay? Simple message can go such a long way. Make sure you look after yourself as well, that's another big tip. Make sure if you don't feel like doing something during the day, then don't do it. If it's something you don't have to do, to do, obviously. If it's something that you have like a test to do or you've got an interview or you have to finish a project or something, if you want some support with it and you think, "I can't do this by myself," then call up a friend, then call up a family member, or if you can't get access to that, put a podcast on, put something on that'll distract you for a little bit from what you need to do, and then hopefully that'll clear your mind a little bit more and then you can go back at it with a completely fresh perspective. Or do you know what, find some people that are inspirational, motivational. Yeah, exactly. That's what they're there for, you know? Exactly, exactly, oh my goodness, yes, exactly. And then finally, just trust that you're doing okay. You're doing great, you're doing absolutely fine, you're doing the best you can and sometimes you just have to trust the process that's going on. Yeah, and the fact that they're even worried about it shows that they're a good person. You've acknowledged it. Yep. And that they're doing their best. Exactly, it shows you care about yourself and you care about others and you're, you're doing something about it. You've already acknowledged. That's the hardest thing, acknowledgement. I think those are really 3 brilliant tips. They're great, thank you. Thank you. Do you have any other blog topics that you have whizzing around in your head? Yeah, I do actually. I really want to tackle, you know, we were talking about Me Too a little bit earlier. I want to tackle from a male's perspective as well. Yes. Yeah, especially from coming from the industry of performance and media that I've come from, I've seen it from both sides. I mean, I've definitely, definitely had my experience of some cases of not so severe MeToo happenings, but I feel like every single person, every single woman who's gone into audition has experienced something. And it's not just in performing world, it's kind of any world, though, any industry. And especially a lot of men are being seen to be looked over for their opinions. When they're exactly who we should be talking to as well, because they have, you know, they are men at the end of the day, so they can see it from both point of views, or we can enlighten them a little bit more and just show that, you know, what they think might not necessarily be exactly what's going on. And I think that would be great to cover. I mean, can you— nobody knows exactly what's going on because it's just— there's just a plethora of different issues that are going on out there. But men have a really important role to help understand, to be listened to because they're the ones, unfortunately, men are gonna get the point across to men more than quite a few women could. Unfortunately, that is just the way it is. So we need to be supporting men to be doing the right thing as well. Listen to each other. Just because that person is a bloke doesn't mean that it's not valid. We all need to be speaking to each other. Everyone's got their own issues. And every opinion's valid, like you said. And there are so many, you know, So many people, so many women are just, I kind of have that pressure on them to be everything, to, we're always saying that women are seen as being too pushy in the boardroom so that, and that they have to rein it in. So women don't know what they're supposed to be doing, but then at the same time, men are like, well then they're taking on what used to be our roles. And then nobody knows what anybody wants to do anymore. But honestly, yeah. A man or a woman does not have to do something specific. We all can do anything. We just need to find ways to compromise and let everybody fit in somewhere. No, it's completely true. Even one of my friends the other day, he was dating and he went on this date with this woman and he said to me, he was like, oh, I paid for the bill and she turned around and said, no, I can pay for myself, I can pay for myself and then he didn't know what to do so he didn't know if this was like a test she was putting him through, like to do it and then He was like, I don't know if I should open the door anymore 'cause some women don't like it, they can do it themselves, and it's tricky, I get it, so just hearing their opinion, let them talk as well and just say what you want but don't be so standoffish about it. Understand that they just, we don't always know, we don't know whether we're supposed to be offering to pay or whatever. I had a friend the other day, he's like, I'm going on a date, I don't know, I haven't dated for a while, am I supposed to pay? I was like, well, did you ask her out? It's like, yeah, it says, well then, possibly yes, but if she doesn't offer in any way, shape, or form, can I suggest it is the last date you take her on? Yeah, no, I feel like everyone should— no, you need to— no, yeah, I— yeah, come on. I mean, the thing is, there's something a little bit unromantic about going out on a first date and you split it 50/50. No, I agree with that. I'm also— I— when I— if I've ever gone on a date, I very much am with— I don't like splitting bills. I like, if you want to pay for this one, great, I'll pay for the next one. Completely. Or yeah, you just say— or you can just really simply, um, oh, thank you, that's fine. Are we gonna go out for another drink afterwards? I'll get that. It seems so simple, doesn't it? Yeah. And do you know what, I like someone to open the door for me. I do, yeah. But at the same time, you know, common sense. If there is a bloke walking past carrying a baby or shopping, I would open the door for him. It's just common courtesy. Just read the situation. And also, if you're wearing heels, do you know what? It's common courtesy for them to open the door because you're kind of struggling in your heels. Oh yeah, always struggling in heels. You think we've got it under control, we don't. It's just common sense. It doesn't mean that basically, um, all the feminists are going to sit there kind of throwing sticks at you because you let somebody open the door for you. I mean, what about the situation, you know, just anything. If I was dating a woman, I'd probably want her to open the door for me every now and again, likewise I'd like to do it for her every now and again. I haven't dated a woman, maybe I should. Maybe, you know what, never say never. Well, exactly. There you go. Then I'll be like, well, now who pays the bill? Whoever's got the most money. I mean, just take it in turns. I just feel like, yeah. There we go, we've solved dating problems as well now. Wow, do we— look at that. Should we— are there any other world crises? Any World War problems we should cover? There are, but I probably shouldn't air it. Yeah, probably not today. Right, okay, so that's another, that's another vlog. Wow, we're running out of time. Oh gosh, okay, we need to like— we've been trying. Right, okay, tea or coffee? Tea. Oh gosh, biscuits or jelly? Biscuits. Really? Oh, that came to me so quick, I didn't expect it. I thought jelly. Yeah, but sometimes you give an honest answer when it's really quick. Okay. Sandwich or salad? Salad at the minute. At the minute? Just at the minute. Okay, bikini or costume? Bikini. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, brilliant. Best place in London to go out? Oh, I really like Covent Garden and Embankment and South Bank. That's my favourite place. Embankment Bridge. Yes. Really romantic little place. And there's so much going on and it's full of like the variety of life that we have in London. Any books that you love? Honestly, I have been reading. I really enjoy Atonement. Yeah. Have you read it? I've watched. Read it, watched it. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. So good. And The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Long one, long, but worth it. And they're also making a movie into that if people aren't really into the— When it's a long one, it's the way you went long. It's just, it's like this big. I can't see it. It's very big. Right, it's like the width of an apple. And the writing's very teeny. Oh, unless you get it on a Kindle and you do that thing with your fingers. Yeah, you do that. Which again is really good on— I can't read like technology. Oh, I do it sometimes because it means that I've got less things to take around my bag. That's true. Yeah, nobody wants that. Yeah. Anyway, I digress. So I'm going to make sure that all of these links are up so that everything that you want to find out— I'm also going to be doing a little bit of a blog covering all of the different conversations that we've had with mental health advocates here at GetBooked. Thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks for having me. You are very welcome. Thank you. And good luck with all your amazing causes. Thank you. You have a fantastic rest of your day. Thanks. Bye. Welcome to the Women's Radio Station, supporting women's well-being. Women's Radio Station is all about diversity, from opinions, career, ethnicity, education, and most importantly, women's well-being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website womensradiostation.com for more information. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, the UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service. This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators You can contact me on 07825 44 12 12 and Liz, spelt L-I-S, at hazelmayortravel.co.uk. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money, or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash. But just don't know where to start. At empowerandenrich.org, you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me at empowerandenrich.org and let's change your future together. Hi, I'm Carolyn Van Beers. Please join me for a brand new show here on Women's Radio Station. It's Mother's Hour. If like me, you're a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them, this is definitely the show for you. We'll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together. With spoonfuls of advice, incredible stories, it will be a refreshing, honest, and funny look at being a mum. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss? Illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turn2us.org.uk. Welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's well-being. Women's Radio Station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities, including individual programs. We can tailor your experience for you. For more information on how you can sponsor a show, go to womensradiostation.com. Women's Radio Station, supporting women's well-being.