Get Booked – Sandra Stachowicz, Uplifting, Life – Changing Book “Leap Afraid”

Hello, I'm Hazel. You can listen into my show Get Booked every day of the week at 5 AM and 5 PM. Throughout my shows, we talk about what I've read, what I'm reading, new releases, chat to authors, bloggers, publishers, and book enthusiasts, all based around supporting women's emotional well-being, opening this, and offering support via the incredible writing community out there. Come and join us and get involved. And if you want to catch up on previous shows, you can go to womensradiostation.com www.britishbookclub.com/shows/getbooked or you can go on to our SoundCloud, giving you something to do while we're all stuck indoors at the moment. And today joining us in the studio we have the author of the book Leap Afraid joining us, Sandra Stachowicz. Did I pronounce it right? Yes, perfect. Thanks, thanks for the tutorial beforehand. I'm I'm thankful for that. Welcome to our remote Women's Radio Station studio. How are you doing today? I'm fantastic. Thanks so much for a very warm welcome. I'm super excited to be here today to chat with you about books and empowerment. And I want to know, tell us a little bit about yourself I've read all about you in Leap of Faith, but if you can just summarize a little bit to our audience about who you are, how you came to be where you are, and the person that you are. I know that's kind of— that feels like I can't be summarized into a couple of minutes, but we all like a challenge here. Okay, yes, so as, um, I'm the book midwife and the book coach for unconventional women coaches, healers, creatives, and visionaries. I'm also a word alchemist and magnetic storyteller, and also a 3x international bestselling author. And I help heart-fueled women coaches birth soul-aligned books into the world in 90 days or less, uh, so they can get fully booked with soul-high-end clients Manifest money out of thin air and embark on a round-the-world, never-ending adventure. And I work primarily with out-of-the-box thinkers, visionaries, heart-centered female coaches, mentors, and healers. And I help women bring their book out of their soul and out into the world, even if they're a novice. With a secret passion for writing, their hands are full running their soul empire, or even if they're short on ideas and don't know where to start, or like me, English is not their first language. I see myself as a changemaker and visionary. I'm also highly intuitive and psychic, and that means I have an inexplicable ability of transforming things that are undesirable into things that are exceptional. And that's exactly what my book Leap Afraid is all about. It's about transforming my life inside out. See, I've, I've read your book and I'm kind of worried that I'm not even going to be able to get through half of the questions I've got for you. Um, and I was kind of going to use and abuse the time time that I had you here on the station, just to try and get my own therapy session done, because I'm trying to get my own book out as well, and I feel like it's somebody like you that I could really do with having in my corner. But there was one section in your book where you said that one of your sessions you managed to basically unpack 35— was it 35 or 29 years of childhood trauma in 56 minutes or something? Ah, yes, that's, that's great. I really love what you said about using and abusing me. That's what we've come here to, to do, so I, I don't mind. And the client you're referring to, we were able to really use a proprietary healing session. I call them Heal Your Core Wound session, where I was able to help her release 27 years of childhood trauma. The most important, the most interesting fact about this session is that she wasn't even my paid client back then, and I was still very, very much a new coach, very much new in the online coaching world, and also able to help her with something that the coach she was working with was unable to help her work through. So That's this. This just shows how powerful these healing sessions are. If you really dig deep and uncover your childhood trauma, your core wound, then can really help you exponentially get exponentially better results, not only in your life but also in your business. Because as a result of that session, she doubled her rates. And obviously being able to release yourself of 27 years of trauma I believe sometimes, especially in traditional therapy, we spend years trying to work through something that happened in our early— in our childhood. And that's why the reason these sessions are so powerful is because I don't only work with— on the physical plane, because I also work with energy, which is— because what happens that when something bad happens to us We store all this trauma in our bodies and we carry it throughout our life and it manifests itself in our life in different ways. So for example, even something that happened many years ago could affect you today, even in your business, in your life. And this is obviously something we are not consciously aware of. So really, when you really dig deep and uncover the root cause of that event that traumatized you, then you can really exponentially catapult your business towards new, new heights. So these sessions are super powerful. I mean, that kind of scares me. Yeah. And excites me at the same time. I mean, I mean, there's quite a lot of, of that kind of ethos in your book, especially when you're saying that sometimes you've got to dig really deep, you've got to be broken completely completely, to be able to rebuild what you want, uh, which is basically, you know, it's what Leap of Faith is all about. It's how, you know, the strapline is how to turn a devastating series of events into the best thing that ever happened to you. And, um, there's so many of us out there that have gone through some rather interesting situations, and those that hold on to them are the ones that are holding themselves back. And there's a— one of the things that I mean probably the first part of the book where I decided, right, I'm gonna have to start bending pages, is when you said that you needed to write 3 letters. And I was like, I mean, I couldn't sleep that night. Wow. Just at the thought of actually going through that process. Now, I am going to do it, but I know that I need to do it when I've got the time to actually process it afterwards. And just so that the listeners can hear about this, I mean, it's kind of simplistic, but I would never have thought to do this. If you want to explain to our listeners the different letters that people need to write to help them get over a particular issue, or would you like me Do you want me to kind of explain it? Yes, so the, the two letters you're referring to is the process I went through with that particular client who was able to release 27 years of trauma in one session. So I normally do these sessions live, one-to-one with, with my coaching clients, but this is also something you can work through at your own pace in the comfort of your own home. So they're basically a series of 3 letters that you write to really help you work through all the trauma. Because the first letter is, I call it, hate letter, where you basically let all the anger, all the resentment, all the grief, and all the trauma that you start in your body out without editing or censoring yourself out. Now the The challenge here is not to try to work through multiple issues, but rather focus on just one particular event so it can really go deep and not wide. Because oftentimes what happens when we've been traumatized is that there's a tendency for us to really go wide and jump from one event to another. So this is the very first letter where you basically let all your grief, all your anger, sad, sadness and resentment out. And it really helps you connect to your feelings, because what happens when something bad happens to us, then we numb ourselves and we carry all that anger, unexpressed anger, unexpressed grief and betrayal in our body that later manifests itself. That maybe something, a similar event happens, let's say, especially it's especially true when it comes to breakups. So what then happens that, let's say you move from, you had one unsuccessful relationship, and because you haven't healed the original trauma, especially if you felt you're not loved as a child, you felt unlovable, you felt like you're not good enough, and then you'll keep changing partners and you'll keep bumping up against the same shadows, against the same problems and challenges in your life. And to really allow yourself to feel and experience everything you haven't allowed yourself to feel and experience when the traumatizing event happened. So in a way, you re-traumatize yourself because you haven't really worked through all your issues. You haven't really dug deep to uncover what it is that's really keeping you stuck. So this is the very first letter, which is the hate letter. Hate letter. Yeah. So there's a series of two Avril letters. So the second letter, in the second letter, which is a compassion letter, we try to have compassion for the perpetrator, so almost like put ourselves in their shoes and try to understand and also uncover the silver lining. So we put ourselves in the shoes of the perpetrator and try to see life from their perspective. So just to give you an example, for example, my mother, she had a troublesome relationship with her only sister, which is something I talk about in the book, because she felt betrayed. She felt betrayed by the only woman, the, the only most important woman in her life after her mother. And there was a lot of trauma, so the universe punished her by sending her 5 daughters that she didn't even want in the first place. My mom never wanted to have children, so for her there was a lesson there to embrace. So it wasn't until, uh, it's interesting enough, it wasn't until I decided to do the healing work on myself that she finally turned around. And I can say that I had a— I have a good relationship with my mother, but only because I decided to write I published my own book. So it's really, in a sense, it helped me heal and transform my relationship with her. And then she has since remarried. So it does have a spillover effect. But it wasn't until I put myself in her shoes and really tried to understand where she was coming from. You see, she felt betrayed by, by her only sister. And it made sense that she felt very resentful towards all her daughters. I always felt like she didn't love us enough. But when I went deep through this work and wrote the compassion letter and really allowed myself to put myself in her shoes, I gained a new perspective. And I realized, well, actually, if someone did that to me, I'd probably feel resentful too. And I realized that she did the best she could with all the resources she had available to her. So it really helped me have compassion for her because oftentimes when we feel victimized, what happens is that we focus on only one side of the story, ours. We see ourselves as victims. So this process really helps us have compassion for the perpetrator and it helps us gain a new perspective. The last letter is a love letter where we thank the perpetrator for all the lessons we have learned, for, for the silver lining. Because I realized that I had the best mother I could ever have, that I had the best mother. Like, she was the best mother who could help me learn all the things I came here to learn. So that sense, she was— because I felt, because on another level I felt wrong, but this really helped me realize that she was really a teacher, a guide for me to become the person I am today. Because if it wasn't for her, if it wasn't for the lessons I have embraced by being her daughter, and I was really super grateful for everything she did for me. So the last letter is a love letter where you thank the perpetrator for all the things you have embraced and learned, all the teachings and takeaways, where you express your gratitude. Because when you have a deep sense of gratitude, it can really help you heal the trauma. Because the reason we feel victimized is because we haven't embraced all the learnings and takeaways from, from that first experience. But that's the thing, isn't it? I mean, Leap of Faith is full of cathartic thoughts, ideologies, exercises, and everything. I mean, and a lot of what you talk about is basically focusing on the positive, what you can do rather than what you can't do, because it's all about empowering yourself. And I found it really helpful. There are a few of my friends I'm going to pass this book on to. You must have found it quite cathartic writing it as well. Yes, I did find it very cathartic. And that's obviously, as a book coach, I'd say that writing, it can be very healing, therapeutic, and cathartic. So because oftentimes we think, okay, so the reader, obviously the reader is on the receiving end, but this is not entirely true because me as a writer, as an author, I also get something out of this process. So as it was the case with my first book, so with the first book I co-authored 2 years ago, My biggest surprise is that I healed, uh, I healed my relationship with my mother, something I would have never expected. I mean, just contributing a chapter in a book, so how powerful is this? And when I was working on Leaper Fright, I realized that there was still some residue grief because I lost my dad when I was 15. And writing a book, writing Leaper Fright, really helped me Bury my father long, long time after he died because I realized there was still some residue grief. And again, I went through the 3 letters I wrote, the 3 letters to my dad to really thank him for, for the role he has played in, in my life. And again, as you, as you said, that writing is very cathartic and can be very healing. And I strongly believe that no matter what happens to you You can, if you change your perspective, if you change your attitude or your approach to things, the things you look at change because it doesn't really matter what happened to you. Everything happens for us. So whatever bad experiences happened, they didn't happen to us. They happened for us. So we would become a better person as a result and writing and sharing your own story with the world. Can be very healing and therapeutic, because if there are parts of you that are still a victim, then you can really work through them. It's almost like a form of therapy and then writing. See, I'm a huge fan of positive attribution, and, and it's so empowering to see, to experience something that you know is possibly unfair or has upset you, and you to find a positive element in that. It's about taking control of your own life and just embracing what happens to you and not wallowing. I mean, wallowing weighs heavily on us, and it just takes up too much time. It robs us of, you know, our emotional well-being, which is about what women's radio station and men's radio station is all about. And the thing is, I mean, Your book, I guess, is a self-help book, but I find it a little bit— I've read quite a few self-help books, I get quite a few that are sent through for women's radio station, but it's funny. You've got an extremely dry sense of humour which helps it. It's not just all about peace and love and finding your inner peace, it's talking about, you know, cat's farts and swearing in there. You've got a really dodgy sense of humour, and I say dodgy in a way that that's my favourite kind of humour. And, you know, you've obviously— I think part of your dodgy sense of humour comes from spending so much time in Scotland. It does definitely develop the phrases we use and our sense of humour. I myself am a northerner. But again, that leads me on to— it was quite an interesting decision that you suddenly decided back in your youth to go, "Do you know what? I'm going to leave my home country and I'm going to start a new life in Scotland. Now, Sandra, why Scotland? It's a really interesting story, and I really love what you said about my dry sense of humour. I don't necessarily attribute it to moving to Scotland. I was born with a very dry sense of humour. And also, one of my gifts is also sharing, talking about difficult subjects. In a really lighthearted way because, obviously, my book was aimed at women who are going through trials and tribulations. They're often at a really low point in their life. And I thought that if I write a book in a really dark and heavy style, then I needed something uplifting. I really needed something that would pull them out, that would make them forget about all their fears and worries. So that's why I decided I didn't want to just write any, like, a typical self-help book. In a typical clinical jargon because I had to automatically just switch off. So that was my intention with it because I wanted to infuse it with positivity. These women don't need any more drama in their life. They don't need any more, you know, they've been serious and they didn't need any more. They just needed more joy. They just needed more joy in their life. And but to answer your question about leaving my home in Scotland, That was, I'd say that was, uh, serendipity, because my best friend, she has always dreamed of moving to Scotland. It has always been her dream. She wanted to see Scotland, but what happened, so she basically talked me into it. Uh, back then I was working as a nanny for a pound an hour. Yeah. £1 an hour. Wow. So I wasn't really in the position of, let's say, growing up and being raised by a single mother after losing my dad at the age of 15. I wasn't exactly— I wouldn't exactly say that I come from riches. So I was working as a nanny because I failed to secure a place at university because I was— apparently my English wasn't good enough. And then there's my best friend, and she one day, she suddenly decides Sandra, you know what, let's move to Scotland. It's like, okay, I know I was crazy enough to take him up on her offer, but what happened, uh, she actually— we both bought our tickets, but literally be like a day or two before our flight, she backtracked and she pulled out of the deal. There are going to be, uh, 15 of us jumping on the plane and moving to Scotland for 6 months because the goal was for me to save up for my studies and move back home so I could study part-time. And 2 days before her flight, before it was time to board the plane, she said, "Oh, so then I'm not flying." It's like, hold on a second. Like, you know, I went to all these great lengths, you know, I literally begged my family and my aunt gave me some cash, then my sister who was in no position to to help me out. She gave me some money. So I was— but the only reason it happened is because I made a decision. I truly committed to moving to Scotland, and that's when all the magic happened. I was getting money left, right, and center. Um, I had— nice. Yeah. So even though I didn't have the full amount, because I knew exactly how much I needed to survive for a month, I didn't have the full amount, but I made up my mind, though. I'm going. I didn't go this far. I didn't, you know, all this begging, I didn't go this far to stop now. And I made up my mind, and when I arrived in Scotland, I didn't have any contacts, I didn't have a place to stay, I didn't have a job. And it took me a month to find a job. By the time I found a job, I had holes in my shoes the size of a fist because I walked around the city like I know You know, that was the time I just walk and knock on everyone's doors to, to get the job, but only found, finally found a job, um, after a month. So it was a month with no income coming in. So I had to take up a job as cleaning private people's homes just to have some income coming in. Uh, miraculously, I found a place to stay the day after I arrived, but I strongly believe that's because when you make a decision the universe conspires to make that happen. Because what happened— you see, me arriving from Poland, a post-communist country, with not enough money to get me through the month, and I— the first night I stayed in a hostel. And then what happened is that the lady I reached out to about a room while I sold back home said that for some strange reason, one of her flatmates Even though she took up the room, she pulled out of the deal and I took up their space. So it was really miraculous because she phoned me and I still recall that call. The, the turning point in my life really came when she phoned me and she said, Sandra, do you want that room? I said, I'm taking it without ever viewing it. And she came and picked me up. So it was really miraculous because when you really commit, when you really decide and fully own our, uh, our power and we completely eliminate the possibility of failing, that's when miracles really happen in our lives. You've just got to want it. And you've actually— I mean, this— I'm not going to read the whole joke because there's a bit of swearing, but it is— it basically is a fantastic joke that you've put in your book about, you know, when you're sitting there going, God, please come on, help me, I just want to win the lottery, give me a break. Things go wrong and you're like, oh, come on, God, do something, please help me, help me. And, you know, it goes on and on, and then eventually God kind of comes through the clouds and goes, dude, just at least buy a ticket for the lottery. You've got to give me something to work with. And I'm like, I love that, I absolutely love it. But it's so true, you know, you've got to be in it to win it. And you've got to have the positive— it's about— you talk about affirmations as well. You've got to have the positive mindset to kind of attract it as well. Yeah, and I really love what you said because I know exactly what part of the book you're referring to, because actually I, I refer— because there's, there's a running old joke, um, that obviously goes that— because oftentimes as women, I believe we have been brainwashed to be in victim waiting mentality. Because we are waiting for our partner to propose, we are waiting to be asked out on a date, we are waiting for a pay rise, we are waiting to get married. So there's a lot of— it's almost like brainwashed. And this is— waiting is our default mode as women. So that's why it was really important for me to make women realize, listen, no, you have the power. Yes. Well, do you know what, Sandra, it's very weird that you say that because— I know it's very interesting you say that, should I say. And I was never kind of— I was brought up by my mum, single mum. I did have dad, I saw him like once a week on a Sunday for a very quick kind of Sunday lunch. And I was never brought up to think that I was a victim because I always just saw my mum doing everything. And I've always kind of just got on with things myself and I never thought that that was particularly different, but yet I always used to get stick from people. And it took me ages. I always thought I was quite awake and kind of knew what was going on in the world. And I realized that a lot of the reasons I was getting stick from people and actually perceived as being quite different and maybe more argumentative is because I didn't see myself as a victim. If I wanted something, I went out and got it. If I wanted to date somebody, I'd go and ask him out. If I wanted to do this, that, and whatever, And until recently, I realized that, you know, actually a lot of people separated themselves from me because they thought I was a bit different and a little bit kind of, not exactly in your face, but just different from the norm. And it scared them. And I realized it's because I didn't see myself as a victim. They're like, "Oh, Hazel, she's just a bit different. She does this, she does that." And I'm like, Dude, that's just me doing what I thought was perfectly normal, you know. My mum went out. If she wanted to go on holiday, she got another job. If she wanted a particular dress that she couldn't afford, she learned how to sew it, you know. I've always just been given that attitude that if you want something, you go and get it. But it turns out that because I was that, I was seen as being a bit too grabby or just not like how I was supposed to be, and people got really annoyed with me for it. And it's only till recently that I've realized that is why I didn't necessarily fit in with the norm. Yeah, I really love that you mentioned this because oftentimes as women there are certain cultural, social cultural expectations as to how you should think, act, or behave as a woman. And you're a perfect example that this is not necessarily true because you just always felt different, you always did things your way. But from my experience, the majority of the women, at least even to some extent, including some business women, I believe they are still very much in the victim waiting mentality, waiting for things to change. They believe they have no power. They give their power away to their partner, to their bosses, to their brothers, and all the other people in, in their life. And in that sense, I think it really takes a lot of courage for women to be different because you see, the patriarchal, um, world expects women to be obedient, subservient, don't talk too loud, don't laugh too loud, uh, you want too much. And there's a different set of expectations for women. So in a sense, we are made wrong for wanting, for having desires, for having strong boundaries, for going after what we want, because it's seen as scary. No, you've seen that's in a high masculine energy, and it can, for women who have been brainwashed by the society to really lower their standards, and it can be really challenging. Um, when there are statistics that claim that even girls as young as 6 years old, 6 years old, they already see themselves as less intelligent than boys at the age of 6. So how soon does all this, um, social cultural incarceration start? Because it really takes a lot of courage to— for women to be themselves to go after their dreams because in a sense we are, I wouldn't say in a disadvantaged position, but a lot of women see themselves as victims of their circumstances. Growing up with my mother, she was a stay-at-home mom. You see, when my father passed away, all of a sudden she had to become a breadwinner. So in a way, she really gave up on her dreams just to keep the current status quo even when she had some random jobs, casual jobs, it wasn't well seen. My father didn't approve of her choices. And even when she was working night shifts and then she was helping, uh, drive him around because my father had the business, that it wasn't well seen. So growing up, I didn't really have that role model of a woman who really goes after her desires. This is something that I had to learn, and for me, that was really a huge roadblock because I had to change how I identified and viewed myself in the world. And paradoxically, um, because those that do have the strength and determination to kind of do things the way that it feels comfortable with them, other people are jealous, and then, you know, that causes another problem in itself. Yeah, I can, I can, I can very much see where, where you're coming from because Obviously, if you're an empowered woman, and to me it sounds like you're a very empowered woman, you know what was going on early on, you were very switched on, you knew your power, you knew that if you wanted to get something, you just go out and get it. Yeah, you didn't ask anyone for permission. But I think for the majority of women, they, they just give up before they even start. They have They sometimes even make themselves wrong for having dreams. They almost like feel disconnected from the power because they believe that their power is something outside of them, that something's doing things to them. And they— there's this sense that life happens to them, that they have no power to change their life. It's interesting that we were all so incredibly different and I think we just need to— it's very hard to differentiate between what we want and who we want to be, what we think our confinements are, and, you know, but some people do just want to do a lot less or live a particular way, and we just, we need to learn a bit more acceptance and let people accept who other people want to be. We don't all want to be the same. I really love that you have touched on the topic of acceptance, because as women, I believe that's part of the issue, that we don't really accept ourselves. We tend to be very self-critical and judgmental, mostly towards ourselves. We are not so much critical and judgmental, but that's sometimes also can be the case. But usually when women beat, you know, to beat the crap out of themselves because they don't really accept themselves fully and completely for who they are. They don't really dream much, and they have almost given up on their dreams. It's very hard to not beat, you know, the sea out of ourselves when people constantly tell us that we're different and we're wrong. And it's normally other people projecting their own insecurities on other people, and this is part part of the issues of social media, or people, you know, trying to find their own people. It's sometimes— the noise can be quite deafening, and it's giving people the tools to be able to deal with said noise. Now, something that I really would like to know is who in the public eye regarding wellbeing or being, you know, a positive force Who do you really admire? Yes, so the one name that comes to mind is Kaur. So she's known as the Ladybird because I believe her story is so powerful in the sense that it wasn't until she fully embraced who she is and her looks because before then she was just the Ladybird. You know, she was being bullied. At one point she considered taking on her own life, and it wasn't until she really embraced who she is, what she looks like, that she became the voice of hope. And now she's, she's seen as someone who's really admired. She's an empowerment coach, and she empowers women to really embrace embrace their bodies and embrace who they are at their core. What was her name again? Uh, Kaur. She's based in Slough, I believe. I forgot her name. I know exactly what I'm talking about when you— when your mind blanks out. She's Indian, Indian descent. So she's the one with PCOS. And yeah, I really love I really love, love, love her story, yeah, of empowerment. And, um, are there— I mean, you write, you write books yourself. Are there any books that you, um, are loving at the moment, or that you just— if anybody ever said to you, well, what book should I read, what's the first thing that comes up in your mind? People should read? Like, strangely enough, the book that really springs to mind— I know I'm totally biased, but it's my own book, Wild Wise Women. This is, for me, at the back of my mind because this is my most recent book, and the feedback I have received is from women who said, finally, a book written by normal women. Because for me it was really important to stay true to these women's own unique voice and to really write a book. So there is no fluff, no, um, all these stories are real, raw, and unedited and are written in their own unique voice because for me it was really important that we shared our story in a really authentic way that was uncentered and unedited. And that's the exact feedback I've received from the readers. They have really loved it because they all said that they could really relate to these women because they felt that these stories were from women from all walks of life, women like them, not some self-proclaimed gurus. Because oftentimes, if you're— especially if you have a business, it can be really hard to let go of some preconceived ideas of what it is, who you should be as a business owner. And sometimes it can really be hard to be vulnerable and show your vulnerable side, that maybe, look, I'm not perfect, and I'm not perfect, I'm far from perfect, and let people get inspired by how you deal with your own imperfections. We'll embrace our imperfections as well. How dull would life be if we were all perfect? Yeah, and I think it's part of our challenge as women because there's a passage in the book that I talk about flaunting your flaws, and we made up the word "flossom," when you really embrace all your imperfections, all your faults, character quirks, everything that really makes you you, because ultimately, ultimately, this is the recipe for self-acceptance. Okay, well, with that in mind, um, I mean, what we like to do here on Get Booked for all the guests on the show, do you have 3 top tips on mental well-being? The 3 top tips on mental wellbeing, I would say— tips to achieve it, yeah. Yeah. So I'd say it's, for me, the biggest turning point was when I started, when I redefined myself, because I believe that the challenge for women is they don't really view themselves as much. So it really takes a lot of courage to redefine yourself. And there's a whole chapter in the book that I talk about failure, Because oftentimes we can see ourselves through the eyes of all our shortcomings or our failures, and we can really define ourselves as a failure or a loser or a victim. So tip number 1 would be to start seeing yourself, to really redefine yourself as someone who is successful here and now, because it doesn't mean that you are perfect. It's more about embracing all your imperfections and realizing that you're perfect here and now. There is nothing— you are not broken. There's nothing about you that you need to fix. So that will be my, my tip number, uh, one. And also say that you have to be willing to dig deep to uncover the root wound. You don't have to go on a digging quest, but whenever there's something that you feel you haven't quite worked through, um, or that you feel there are times in your life that you're really going through a sticky point, then my tip number 2 would be to really spend some time and even journal. As simple as daily journaling can be really cathartic and therapeutic. So if there's something new that came up you feel like you have to work through, just Even writing it all out can be really helpful. And the last tip I have for women, um, nothing springs to mind now. I like putting people on the spot. I feel like I'm in the hot chair. And also affirmations. Yeah, the last tip I'd say would be affirmations. There is a very specific way I frame affirmations. So affirmations that are really action and goal oriented, because oftentimes we think we see, especially in the personal development world, the way the affirmations are structured, they're not really structured in the way that can really help you take action. So the way I teach how to structure our affirmations follows a very specific formula. So for example, say by, you know, and you set a specific date, I will have the rough draft of my book ready so I can— and then you focus on your goal. And by doing— and you list out exactly the things that you need to do daily, for example, whether it's writing daily and reaching a specific word count. So there's a very specific formula which is an affirmation propagated by Hal Elrod, who himself is a 7-figure entrepreneur. So that's what he's teaching in his book, in The Miracle Morning. It's very effective. It's the only affirmation that has worked for me, and I have been in the online personal development world for years. So that would be my last tip to really Create affirmations that are action and goal-oriented, rather than just telling myself, "I'm awesome." Well, do you know what? That was down in my list of things to discuss, because there's a section in your book, in Leap of Faith, where, yeah, it's saying your affirmations, you don't want to just, you know, um, parrot what's been said in the yoga videos on YouTube. You need to actually have something specific to you, and actually don't just take other people's, because it's not somebody else's life you're after. You're after making sure that, you know, you, you rein in and get the life that you want. So there's, there is a fantastic chapter in your book about that, uh, which I definitely did want to mention. I just want to remind people that they can go and get Leap Afraid from Amazon. Actually, um, this, this, you've got a couple of websites as well, haven't you? You've got the, um, sandrastahovich.com, is it .com or is it .co.uk? Let me have a look. It's .com. Yeah, and then, and then you've got awakeninnergoddess.com as well. Yes, so my main website is, is Awaken Inner Goddess, which is the website specifically for women who are interested in getting their book written and published. I have a great free resource available on my website, which is the ultimate guide for women to get their book written in 30 days or less. So that's a great, great new resource they can grab. I mean, 30 days, it really is a short amount of time, isn't it? I mean, we're going to be in quarantine for 30 days, probably. I wonder how many books are going to come out of this quarantine situation. Yeah, I do believe, because that's a really interesting time in our lives, that when we are stuck at homes with very little, but not much else to do other than binge-watching Netflix or reading. So this is really the time in our lives when we devour books more than ever. And this is really a great time for us to really go inward and really reflect on our life, what it is we want to achieve this year. And writing a book is really one of those things, because oftentimes we think that writing and publishing a book takes years, but it doesn't have to. It doesn't have to take a year, you could easily write a book in 30 days. And I'm planning to, to run a 3-day book writing challenge to write a book in a weekend. So this just proves the concept, as ridiculous as it sounds. Yeah, so because I strongly believe that we all have a book in our soul because there's a book in our soul that has been tugging at our heartstrings and that the workshop we have been living is the workshop we should be giving. So what I mean by that is that you have already written your book, even if it's not on paper just yet. I strongly believe that we carry our book in our soul and it's just waiting. It's ready and waiting to be Unleashed. So for anyone who has been in business for years, the chances are you already, like, you already have written that book. You just don't know. Well, there's so many people that have a book inside them, but they just don't have the courage to put it out there or are scared of failure. So I guess your role in Awakening the Inner Goddess is encouraging people that it should be heard and that they should get that story out and, you know, feel the fear and do it anyway, as they say. Yeah, and that's exactly what my book Leap Afraid is. It's in a sense, it really mimics that motto, feel the fear and do it anyway, and do it scared. Because oftentimes we wait for the perfect conditions to align, for the perfect circumstances, for the right time. We are waiting to get ready. And that time never comes, that time will never be perfect, because now is the only time there is. And now I believe, strongly believe, that now this is the perfect time for anyone to get their book written and published. We have more time on our hands than ever. See, one of the questions that I had listed to ask you throughout today's show is basically how is your quarantine working for you and any tips, but basically Your quarantine tips are write a book in a weekend. I mean, you're keeping busy, aren't you? I definitely am. I'd say that as an introvert, I probably describe myself as an extroverted introvert. Apparently, according to my Myers-Briggs scale, I'm one of the most extroverted introverts. So I've really been loving the quarantine. People probably hate me for saying this, but I really I have really enjoyed having a sip of coffee in an empty coffee shop. Being an introvert, I mean, I'm in paradise. Paradise on earth. I go out shopping. There's only a handful of people shopping. I don't have to worry about it affecting my energy. I'm a highly sensitive person and an empath. So I really love the fact when I go out and go for my daily walk, in nature. Obviously, there tend to be more people than normal, but if I walk on the streets in the city, the streets are deserted, and I really enjoy the kind of slow motion effect, if you will. So I have really enjoyed this time. There are a few challenges though, because my partner's off work, and he works as an Uber driver, so that meant that he's around the house a lot more. So there are a couple of challenges. Um, obviously I have to like nudge him, you know, honey, maybe, you know, you should go out. Like when I felt like, you know, he's been around too much. So like when I feel like I need my space, obviously I have to kick him out of the flat. So in that sense, we've had to learn embracing. But yeah, there are a couple of takeaways because I'd say that our relationship has never been better. He's more relaxed, he's more grounded, more centered. I feel like he's a lot more present than he used to be. He helps around the house a lot more. We cook in turns. And yeah, so our relationship has never been better. In terms of the tips for the quarantine period, I would say to really take the time to explore, go inward, and take the time to review your goals for this year. And as I mentioned earlier, I'm running a 3-day book writing challenge. So this may really be the time for you to get that book written. We have more time than ever, and this is really a perfect opportunity. I see this time as a time of opportunities. I don't really see this quarantine period as an obstacle. For me, I've had a lot of takeaways from this period. I have very much enjoyed the quarantine period, but probably because I'm introverted, I don't really go out that much. So for me, it wasn't that much of a challenge, and I feel really sorry for my extroverted peeps because obviously they feel isolated, and I don't really go out that much anyway. So for me, there hasn't been really much change other than having my partner a lot more. It's great, you know, it's quite interesting that you say that, Sandra, because I've been described quite regularly as the most sociable loner ever. I do like being out and about, but I love my space as well. You know, I can start up an hour-long conversation just in the local post office, but I'm happy to go on holiday for 3 weeks on my own. You know, it's— I absolutely love it. And all my friends go, right, we've got to get all these house parties in and the Zoom calls and the Skype chats. I'm going, I just want to chill out on my own. I mean, it's horrible what's happening to people that have been infected left, right, and centre, and people who are worried about loved ones, but there's also people out there that are finally getting to just get some space and calm down a little bit. I know that there are many underlying horrific things that are happening in terms of people being in houses that are not happy households, but it's— It's an interesting time. I mean, sometimes they take with one hand and they give with another. It's given people— people who were struggling for the first couple of weeks with not having anybody around are suddenly going, 'Oh, wait a minute, it's not that bad. I can do things on my own.' And I'm hoping that there are going to be a lot more people that will come out of this better in terms of emotional well-being. And to anybody that isn't, I do, you know, my heart goes out, and, you know, anything that anybody can do to make sure that those who are struggling, please, please do do it. But there are definitely some people who are taking the benefits, you know, such as yourself, with the current situation. I mean, getting time to actually just spend time cooking, and these, as I said about the house parties, I mean, people are chatting to people they haven't spoken to in ages. You know, the odd person that you used to just send the odd text to, you're now spending an hour and a half drinking a bottle of wine with them while having a meal for one. It's brilliant! But we've got to try and look at the good side of any situation, don't you think, Sandra? Yeah, I strongly believe that because we could really become easily resentful towards the current situation and really see it 'Oh, look what's happening to me. I have no control over it.' So it's all about reframing it into something positive. As you mentioned, you, you had time to catch up with an old friend you haven't spoken to for God knows how long. So really have the time to reassess our life, to really make all those phone calls we've not really had the time or space to make. So this is really An unprecedented time for us to review our current situation, really do the things that we didn't have the time to do, such as cooking, maybe reading that book that has been on your shelf for years that didn't have the time to read, or getting that book written. So this is really a time of opportunity to really get creative, maybe even declutter your home. I've seen people decluttering their home because they're at home a lot more than normal. Indeed, that's quite funny actually that you say about decluttering. A friend of mine said, "When you're out on your walk, is there any chance you can drop me off some crafty stuff for the kids?" I was like, "Yeah, not a problem." She says, "Can you drop me off some bin liners as well? I've run out." I was like, "Are you kidding? No! Bin liners are in more demand than toilet roll at the moment. People are just filling up bin liners with all the rubbish in their houses. No! Find yourself a carrier bag." She's like, "Yeah, fair enough, okay." I was like, okay, thanks, Anne. But the other term that you use that I just want to touch on, reframing, one of my favourite words, and it's one of my favourite things to do as well. It kind of links it through to positive attribution. But I've got a couple of friends who quite often will say, right, this is a situation I'm going through, I hate it, and it's absolutely ripping me apart. Do your worst, reframe the situation. And I love the challenge of just, you know, hearing something that someone thinks is quite negative and reframing it. Chucking it back at them and saying, actually, look at it this way. And they go, yep, there you go, thank you, that's what I needed. Cheers. Yeah, I think it's so powerful if you really reframe a current situation because sometimes we can get so stuck, you know, this is happening to me. So sometimes what I do is ask myself, what is right about this situation that I'm really not getting? Or what is right about this person, uh, that I haven't quite embraced. So rather, it's all about asking ourselves the right questions. So what is really the biggest takeaway out of this situation? Maybe it's really the universe is giving me a sign to really slow down and take things easy and really focus on my own personal growth and really reassess my life's goals, where I'm headed, my career, my relationship. Because all of a sudden we have all this time on our hands that we don't really know what else to do with. Yeah, do you know what? I've been working through my emails. I'm supposed to be moving house, so I've been kind of decluttering before, because I can't actually move either because I can't get people to help me move the house. So I've actually just been getting rid of stuff, and rather than taking rubbish to the new home, And again, it's just as cathartic as writing is. I'm not getting to see my friends, but there are other things that I can do. We have raced through this chat. We've almost been chatting for an hour. We've got a few minutes left. I'd really like you to tell us, Sandra, just a little bit about your other books and about the next book that you're going to write, possibly in the next hour. Yeah, yeah. So the challenge I set up for myself is to write another business book in a weekend. I'm actually currently working on two more books. So the book I'm currently working on is called Wild Women Rising that I believe strongly ties in with, with the overarching theme of what's currently happening in the world. Because I do believe that the universe is calling us to really step up and own our power, not just as women, but also This also applies for men. So again, this will be real stories from real women. Another book I'm currently working on is The Impatient Businesswoman's Guide to Getting Published. So how to get your book written and published in 90 days or less and land your first client. So I'm simultaneously working on, on two books. Well, you know, keeps you out of trouble, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, and also keeps me busy, obviously, with the challenge that I'll be running next week, because I love setting myself new challenges. I love challenging myself and necessarily set new goals, because oftentimes we think, okay, writing a book in 30 days seems like it's challenging already. So I decided to stretch myself and really crush the timeline and squeeze all the 30 days into a weekend. Wow. Just a bit of a reminder for everybody that wants to get involved with what you do as well, they can go on to awakeninnergoddess.com or your other website as well. People might as well, you know, sign up to all the updates from both. Sandra Stachović. I've got it, I've got it, I've got it. I'm sure I have. Stachović. Almost there, almost there. Yeah, can you pronounce my name in the most stupid way possible, please? I don't want to. I'm not even going to attempt it because I don't want to embarrass myself. I have seen your Instagram handle though, so Oh, nutty batty. I didn't want to say that. Yeah, I know it's ridiculous. I need to work on my pronunciation, but you let me sound silly anyway, so that's good. Do you know what? I've had an absolutely lovely time chatting to you. I didn't get to pick your brain enough to help me get my book out there, but, you know, maybe I'll pick pick your brain another time, and I do hope you come back onto Get Booked to talk about your new book when you've finished it. And thank you so much for joining us here on Get Booked. I hope you've enjoyed yourself. Yeah, I have very much enjoyed chatting with you, and I would absolutely love to appear again on Get Booked because I had so much fun today. Well, I've had a great time chatting to you, and I'm sure the listeners will have taken so much from what you had to say. Go out and get Leap Afraid, 'You Know You Want to.' It's a fantastic book. Thank you so much for joining us, and enjoy the rest of your day.