Get Booked – Mummy JoJo Uncut, Jojo Fraser

Welcome to today's Get Booked radio show here in London's Covent Garden, supporting women's emotional well-being, opening discussions, and offering support. It is what we want to do, and it is one of our main passions. I'm Hazel, and you are listening to get booked. As part of our aim here at Women's Radio Station to support women's emotional well-being, I have an excellent guest joining us today who is the epitome of providing the strong vibe with her book about how to get that mojo injection with her book Mummy Jojo Uncut. So this is all about having, uh, a mojo injection instead of Botox injections, isn't it, Jojo? How are you? I'm very well, thank you. And yes, the Mojo injection is the new Botox. I actually have people in cosmetic surgeries write to me to ask me to come in and do talks because they think some people there need a Mojo injection over a Botox one. So I thought that was quite interesting. The research shows with all the pressure from social media that there's so much, you know, more people are feeling the need to book all these treatments when what we really need to do is get the balance right between our physical and our mental, and, and remember that how we feel is so much more important than, you know, a face. You know, I don't get me wrong, I like a bit of makeup, I like a pamper, but we really need to spend more time focusing on our mental health. I mean, that's so incredibly true. And a lot of the time it's about, you know, some of the things that we necessarily do to our body and what we put our bodies through. It's about being able to get validation Mm-hmm. Which actually rather quickly takes me over to one of your quite popular blogs on why am I not getting likes on Facebook. And it's just doing things to get that validation. And but, but it's got— it's such a double-edged sword in that you can— it can make you dip as well when you don't get that validation. Yeah, and it's only natural, you know, we have an ego. It's not our fault. That our mind is made up this way. But when we talk about it, when we spend more time focusing on learning to love ourselves, accept elements that we may not be able to change, and to crush any limiting beliefs that may not even be your belief, it could be from a grandparent or some comment someone's made in childhood that stuck with you and you're carrying it around. And I did a really powerful podcast about being authentic online and It was saying, you know, if you really genuinely like an image or you feel a certain way, just share. And some people may not have seen the post, you know, don't overthink it. Some people may really love it but not hit the like button because we don't want to be public about everything. And sometimes if it's a taboo topic like I would put out, sometimes they're the most read pieces but the least liked publicly, if you get me. Yeah, because, you know, we do have this ego and it's the way we're wired and it's, it's, you know, it's there to protect us to an extent, but it's got way out of control and we need to talk about it. Well, that's basically the idea of your book. It is making sure that, you know, opening the conversation, sharing is caring. I'm a huge fan of Chapter 3. The sharp, perfect mum. It's, and it's all about just doing what's right for you. And the more we talk about it, the less certain issues become a stigma, and the more we kind of talk to people and try and not educate people, but just kind of blast away these judgmental ideals. Absolutely. I mean, our minds can be so horribly judgmental, and I've had people write to me to say say, "I'm perfect, Mum," or I've had other people say, "Oh, I totally know how you feel." And, you know, it's this pressure. And we're all amazing at some things. We're all gifted. And then there's other things that may not come as naturally to us, but they're not as scary as you would think. You know, I use an example of I used to put mums or dads who would make scones on such a pedestal. And then I tried it myself one day and I thought, this ain't rocket science. But, you know, I let that image, you know, of these parents that baked, that they were perfect. And also, what's the problem if you do want to buy a packet of scones? You know, my mum brought round— she loves to make scones, but she brought round a packet because she was tired and they were delicious. I think it was Tesco Finest or something. I was like, well, these are great. I'm loving these scones. So, you know, there's no— it doesn't matter. You just got to do what's right for you. And we dip, you know, our hormones for one, I speak a lot about PMS, but once you've had a baby, your hormones are just— they're going crazy. So sometimes that just— we just need to not be so hard on ourselves and take that day in your pajamas if you need it and get a bit fresh air because we need that too. But don't be hard on yourself if you're still in your pajamas at 11 a.m. If your kids are happy watching Peter Rabbit, well, you just use that time to chill out. Well, it's all about balance, but I am going to throw a little bit of a curveball in there. You know, you can get like a little packet of like the scone mix where you just have to add like a little bit of milk. Yes, all you need is a pair of scissors and a mixing bowl and a bit of water and bing bang bosh, you can make, you know, you've got an oven. It's kind of, you know, there's always a bit of middle ground there. I love it. Yeah, find your middle ground, find what works for you. If baking's really good for you, you enjoy it, it chills you out, great. The only thing for me about baking is the dishes. I don't really like doing dishes and they pile up so quickly. So yeah, you've just got to judge it on any given day. But if you're well into the mindful cooking, then great. If you want to cheat, do what works for you. What I do do actually is, because I cook all the time, absolutely love it. I'm a flexitarian, but my kids, you know, they would just have rare steak every day if they could get away with it. And, um, so I'm always cooking lots of different meals, but I'm happy to do that and I love it. I feel dishwasher nearly every day, but I say to my kids, yeah, you like food as much as me, you constantly want me to cook and make this and do whatever, you empty the dishwasher, bing bang bosh. I've got, I do all the cooking, love cooking, have it with a glass of wine, don't care. And the deal is, yeah, they empty the dishwasher, but your kids are a little bit younger than mine. Oh, I love that. I think Bonnie, my daughter, she's going to be 7 in summer, so we're getting to the stage where she really wants to help with the cleaning. Yeah, get to work. Yep, long may it last. She'll do anything for a wee bit pocket money as well, you know. She's found a love for slime and makeup as well. Um, oh dear. Yeah, that's great. Got to let her embrace it. Yeah, I wish, you know, I was never really that good with makeup. I'm a bit lazy in that respect. What I will do is if I want to make it look like I've made an effort is I'll just put a quick slip of, um, red lipstick on? Absolutely. I wrote a blog a few years ago about a mum that judged me for wearing lipstick. Oh my God, really? Oh, honestly, it was one of those days where I just wanted a little bit of pink lipstick. And I actually heard and I saw this mum glare at me as I was getting— as Scott, my hubs, was getting the kids out the car as I was applying the lipstick. And she kind of shook her head at me as if to say, put your kids first. Now, hello, I was putting on a little bit of pink lipstick to boost my mojo. What I didn't need was a mom judging me. So that's something I really, really push is we need to judge less and live and love a lot more. That's actually really, really good for our mojo when we start judging less and we, you know, we'll never get inside someone else's head. She didn't know what was going on with me that day. I didn't know her, and who am I to judge? But there's a lot of judgment out there. You know, a place really where a lot of parent anxiety takes hold is in the supermarket. There's a lot of judgment in supermarkets. We need to smile a bit more at parents who are stressed out, not glare at them. It's not their fault that their child's playing up. It's not their fault that their child doesn't know where to look sometimes. Sometimes kids just run, and we just need a bit more compassion. And honestly, the whole lipstick thing, I just find that incredible. I mean, I go into the school grounds wearing hot pants. I mean, I'm like, if the sun's out, I wanna get as much sun as possible. I do get a bit of a few funny looks, but I think they all know me a bit more now and they're just like, Hazel's always got a really good tan. I was like, well, if you wore less clothes, you would have a better tan as well. They're like, oh yeah, good point. Absolutely. Do you know what? I am all for, I'm a kino in summer, so I tend to, really embrace it early. And people are saying, are you not freezing, like, walking around in your little beach dress? I'm like, well, when we get the vitamin D opportunity, we just need to take it. Do you know what? You actually reminded me of a situation that happened. I'd managed to block it out of my brain, but I remember when I had my first baby, when obviously you were a bit panicky about whether we're doing things right, and I was walking around a supermarket and he was in his popoose and he was just in, um, a tiny little baby grow, 'cause he was boiling hot. He was always a boiling baby. And these two women came up to me and said, "We've just been discussing it and we're a little bit worried that maybe you're letting your child get too cold." And I went, "I appreciate your opinion, but I prefer it if you kept your opinions to yourself. And I'm really surprised that you thought and maybe didn't discuss that with your friend about why you felt necessary to come up to me and say that. Anyway, enjoy your shopping." I'm moving on. And I was just like, that was horri— that was actually cruel, wasn't it? Yeah, this is what I mean about the judgment thing. And I don't know if it boosts the person's ego that's giving out the judgment. Um, a lot of this is a key emotional issue, and I can't hammer it enough. We know how to look after our children. We have made these little miracles that can be very challenging, but we have magical moments too. You know what's best for your child, and sometimes you get people that just feel like they have to tell you how to do things. And yeah, but we do get it wrong sometimes as well, but it's nobody else's opinion, especially a complete stranger, to tell you you're doing it wrong. And absolutely, we just need to educate people a little bit more on the impact of some of their comments and Yes. It's not helpful. I mean, you know, I appreciate comments maybe from friends or people who know me, but a complete stranger who just wants to possibly put down somebody who's at a particular stage, pfft. Do you know what? We haven't even started discussing any of my questions yet and we're already coming up to the first break. We are gonna be, we'll have a quick break and we'll be back in a few minutes with this week's guest, Jojo Fraser. Fabulous. Welcome to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons Live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte, on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie May Is Listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station supporting women's well-being and we're talking all things autism. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Falguni Desai of Action Coach. Are you a business owner with more than 5 employees? Do you want to grow your business? I'm a London-based business coach who helps small and medium-sized businesses to grow and make a profit. I will help you identify the strengths and weaknesses in your business and then work with you to improve it using a structured framework. 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We are chatting to the delicious Jojo Fraser, author of— you like that? The Mummy Jojo and Cook. We now, we've been gassing away and I've not yet managed to ask you any of my questions. I'm loving the chat though. It's great. It's great. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna like do that professional thing and ask like a few directive questions. Is that okay with you? Absolutely. Okay, so professional head on, how did you get into blogging and podcasting? So I've always loved creating content. I've always loved writing. And a lot of people said to me, oh, I think your stuff's really kind of aspirational for people. And so I thought, I want to write content that's going to motivate people. That's kind of what I love to do. So when I was— my degree's in business and marketing. It was either going to be that or drama. And a lot of people were convinced I'd go into drama school because I love acting, singing, all that stuff. And so when I got into agency side, I was an account manager for a media company and then a boutique hotel, set of beautiful boutique hotels. And they would get me to write some content as well as kind of wining and dining clients. And they would always say, oh, we love your, your writing. You should set up a blog. So I just naturally kind of— my first blog was on Bebo. Do you remember Bebo? Yes. Blast from the past. I love Bebo. So I wrote my first one after a year traveling. And I talk about this in Chapter 5, about how that year away really changed my life. So I took a career gap. I'd been in a really intense 2-year experience in a marketing agency, and I was really— it was from going to university, coming out and going straight into that level, it was intense, you know. I'm down in London, I'm dealing with huge clients that are calling me all the time, great responsibility, but just really fast-paced. And I thought, if I don't jump off the ladder for a bit now, I'm never going to do it. And so I set off for Asia, Australia, New Zealand, and, um, came back and started to blog about what that taught me. And I actually started writing my book. Now, this was over 11 years ago, but I hadn't made enough mistakes to fill a whole book. So I thought, that's when we learn from our mistakes. Oh, I love a challenge. I love a challenge. So I fell in love and I was partying and carefree, got married, and then becoming a mum really changed a lot. And you see the world in a different way. So I had more content, more stakes. And then I think the kind of pivotal moment was when my dad was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. And I really— it was like a slap in the face about how much stigma there was still around our minds, um, and also the way I reacted to it because I took it personally. Um, I think so many of us, back to what we were saying earlier in part one about judging people, and I was saying, you know, I took it personally. What have I done to make him push me away when it was nothing to do with me. And so often people are, you know, taking other people's mental health, other people's stress personally. So that's when I thought, right, I've got the blog, which is really well known in Scotland now, mommyjojo.com. Let's use some of this material and start writing a book. And yeah, it just went from there. And then the podcast came too. So it's just all happened organically. But I I absolutely love it. I'm convinced this is what I'm meant to do. I mean, I was actually speaking to you throughout as I was reading Mummy Jojo and Kurt, and I kind of said the first 2 chapters, and evidently it's quite common for everybody else to be a bit teary for the first couple of chapters. Mm-hmm. We cover a lot of ground. There's a lot of free therapy in the first 2 chapters, and that's from hours worth of research with other people that have struggled, and also my own experience having, um, you know, my mother-in-law's experience. She's been in and out of hospital too with her mental health, and of course Dad. So, so much experience and so much research that I've put into, into developing something that will help people. And it's very honest as well, and it's kind of warts and all, and it's there's a lot of realism in there. And, you know, the fact that you're kind of equally, yes, Hubs is a bit annoying every now and again, but also he's an absolute saint for putting up with this or that. And then when I do this, it's just, it's like normality and it's just kind of opening people's minds to not feel like they have to constantly be perfect, or open their minds to the fact that it's about— it's not always about us, and there's something else happening, and just try and understand what's going on. Nobody's the same. Absolutely. We— and it takes a lot of compassion and patience to try and get our head in someone else's lens. We'll never be able to do that though, and I challenge people in the book, why would you want to. You know, your lens is enough, but sometimes it's just taking a step back and realizing that no matter what you do, you will not get into someone else's minds. And I think that's a key lesson for all of us. And everyone has a story. We are not here to have a perfect life, even if Instagram would appear that way. We are not here. We are here to experience, and of course, hopefully, to be in our mojo and to feel alive and to dance and sing. But also, we are here to experience pain. That's part of life, and that's really when we learn and we develop and we grow. And it's, it's okay to fail at things, and it's okay to struggle, because that makes you human. It was actually one of the books that I was reviewing in a, in a show a few weeks ago was talking about how events shape who we are, positive and negative. And sometimes there was actually a lady that I interviewed called Christine Clayfield, and she had a horrific upbringing. I mean, it was, it was terrible, but it taught her that she never ever wanted to have to rely on somebody again. And she decided that she didn't want to be a victim. She became so incredibly successful and so determined as to what she didn't want and what she did want that she's got a really successful marriage because she just didn't take no for an answer. She's now, she's got, not that money is everything, but it drove her to success and it drove her to not compromise on what she wanted. And she was just the most incredible lady. Her book has won many awards, No Fourth River. And it is, you know. I need to read it. Yeah, it's fantastic. It will make you cry. But it is just about, you know, can you imagine if nothing horrible had ever happened or nothing quite interesting in possibly a negative way had ever happened? How would it shape you? You would have a completely unrealistic view of life. And we need the rough and the smooth to form us as people. Absolutely. And the impact an experience can have from a mindset point of view. But I write about this, you know, you have two options. And I've interviewed hundreds of people that have had the worst cards dealt to them. And someone just puts it so eloquently, you know, I had a choice. I could sink or swim, and I chose to swim. I chose to live. And sometimes that's what makes someone go one way and not the other. I don't know. I don't know. But we all have a choice what we do with our experience. And who wants to be a victim for longer than, than we should? Yes, it's okay to be angry. It's normal. It's okay to be sad. Tears are important. But there's so much we can do with our lessons to make a change in the world. And one of the good things about the, the book that you wrote, it's It's about enabling people to form these choices because we sometimes aren't aware of the choices we can make and it's just kind of giving people that mojo to kind of go, "Oh, actually, I'm not a tree. I can move. I can do this. I can see things differently and also, you know, I don't have to put up with that judgmental person and actually there's other people out there who will believe in the same things as me. And this is what I like about books like yours. It helps open people's minds and helps them get through and make these decisions and choices to get by. Absolutely, because we are all amazing. We genuinely are. We all have potential to do incredible things, no matter where we're from, what we've experienced. But so often we get caught up in the judgment of others and allow that to hold us back. We listen to people's negative opinions when there's so there's so many people that will see the value. And it's learning to accept that not everyone will get you, but be the champagne of the party anyway, you know? Oh, I love that phrase in your book. And it was one of those things where as soon as you said it, I was like, I'm putting the book down and I just wanna sit. Because you get that sometimes, the champagne of the party is seen as being too much of an extra for it. It's like, oh God, they're doing it again. No, because you keep on inviting them 'cause you want them around, but you're just being jealous or judgmental. Leave people be. Yeah, let them be free. And you know, sometimes I'm really gregarious. Oh, are you still there? Oh, we are just slightly— oh, we lost you for a second then. Sorry, sorry, Jojo. Can you hear me now? Yeah, we can. We just lost you for a little, for a little second. It was about 3 seconds, so just, just, just imagine you're like a really old tape player. Just, just rewind. For about 10 seconds. We're talking about champagne of the party. I think I was probably getting— yeah, I was probably getting so passionate about my chat about the champagne of the party. Um, I just absolutely love that. Yeah, no, it's just so important that we see that. And it was actually inspired by my brother David, who lives in Madrid. He's a great writer, and he wrote a poem on our wedding day, and he was saying the champagne of the party when all around you is Lamborghini. He was talking about our love for each other, you know, and I just thought, oh, that's so nice, you know, be the champagne of the party to each other. We were the champagne of the party, you know, we found that amazing, crazy, wild love. I'm not saying it's like that all the time. Fast forward the clock, you know, we'll be married 8 years in September. But yeah, can I steal that line? I'd forgotten the Lamborghini line. Can I pass it off as my own? Is that all right? Oh, take it, take it, share it, love it, you know. Right, we're just gonna have to quickly go over to another break. We're halfway through already. We'll be back in a couple of minutes. Women's Radio Station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion, connecting women around the world in a global network. It's all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education. We aim to show the individuality reality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and a platform for your voice. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, the UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service. This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back I work with luxury tour operators. You can contact me on 07825 44 12 12 and liz@hazelmaytravel.co.uk. 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Let me tell you about German Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germinestreettheatre.co.uk. You're listening to Women's Radio Station, supporting women's well-being. Coming soon will be a host of new shows supporting all areas of your well-being. Shows that you can get involved in. So stay tuned. womensradiostation.com. Here for you. Hello and welcome back to the second half of today's Get Booked. We are chatting away to Jojo Fraser, author of Mummy Jojo Uncut and, and the podcaster at mummyjojo.com. Hey honey. Hello. I kind of feel like we should be sitting here drinking a glass of fizz at the same time. Oh, champagne. Yeah. Oh yeah. Not Lambrini. We've already, yeah, we're not Lambrini, we're champagne girls. So I did, I had about 15 questions for you. We've got through 1 in the last half hour. I feel like I need to do like quick 5. Do you ever do like quickfire interviews where people give you like 3 seconds to answer a question just to get get through it quickly. You can do that. Really? I talk really quickly, so feel free. Well, the thing is, all my questions are like, I think we could probably do a show on every single question I've got for you. But we'll try, we'll try. I want to know what your most successful blog is, or podcast, actually. The one that's resonated with, oh goodness. Oh, a lot. There's a few that have really— so the one about why people don't like your posts on social media, because people are clearly searching that, so they're finding it, and that one went a bit nuts. The one I put based on chapter 1 about "Please stay and hold my hand," which was a letter I've written for my children and what I know Dad would have written me before he got sick, um, about not taking mental health personally and still remembering who a person really, really is deep down. And not the way they may become because of either, you know, a chemical imbalance, something circumstantial that's triggered it, environmental that's triggered it. You know, there's lots of reasons why we become depressed or anxious, and sometimes it can just be a buildup. Stress is often the starter, or anxiety, and then things can really, really build. Um, it can happen overnight, um, or it can happen gradually. So yes, that was a really key piece for people. It was shared by the Blurt Foundation charity. Yeah, that had thousands of thousands of hits. And obviously Perfect Mum, which I know was one of your favorite chapters in the book. I love that one. And the thing is, though, especially I speak to a lot of counselors and I have a lot to do with a lot of mental health issues. And Instagram and Facebook are cited a ridiculous amount of time for contributing to people's mental well-being and depression and feelings of rejection and loneliness. And it's just, it's just mental. It's got some really good elements to it as well, but it's just, it's, it's a tricky one. Yeah. And I talk a lot about this in Chapter 5 and on my podcast a lot as well about this, this pressure. And I feel like there's almost a bit of a war going on between, you know, you've got these huge influencers influencers that are promoting appetite suppressants and they're making a packet from it. And then you've got people going, well, actually, no, starving yourself isn't good for your mental health. No. You know, if you do need to lose weight, then there's different ways to do it. And that's not the healthy way. You know, starving yourself will never be the healthy way. And you're creating more mental health issues and eating issues by plastering this everywhere. And I think it is about encouraging a healthier balance. You know, we don't have to look perfect all the time. Great to get a pamper, hair, nails, whatever you like to be, you know, pampered with. But love it. Um, let's stop being so hard on ourselves and post more real content that's going to help people with their mental health. And because mental health is everything, um, it's at the heart of who we are, it's at the heart of, you know, our mindset will either ensure we have a really happy life, which impacts our physical health as well, and it'll shape our future our, you know, our children and everything. What's happening now, they're going to pick up on everything. They do. And, um, yeah, I've been working so hard with my kids, and there's so many amazing things we can do with kids now, you know, meditation, allowing them that space, training them to enable their, you know, their little minds to shut off and be present. And because kids have this glorious gift where they bounce out of bed and they're high on life, and a lot of people lose that over the years, which is really sad. And I'm just teaching mine a lot of the tactics and a lot of the toolkits in my own book. I'm teaching them really early on, and it seems to be working, but don't always get it right, and they pick up bad habits too. But there's so many great things we can do with our kids. And I see schools looking into mindfulness in the curriculum. They've got a well-being section on the report card now, which is the first part I go to. Over the maths and English. Do you know what they actually do at my son's high school? He only, he started in year 7 in September and a couple of times, well, quite often they do have wellbeing week where, you know, they get people to try different food and to talk about, you know, what's going on in their lives. But also they don't give them homework for the whole week because they want to give them time to just spend time with their friends and family. But also homework now is all online. Everything's online. And so they can't push this whole wellbeing thing if they're kind of forcing them to get on their phones and their iPads to get their homework done. So there's no homework for the whole week. And it's like, but you don't go on your tech. I like that screen-free detox. That's going to be a huge thing. And I've been writing about it for a few years, actually. And there's a whole chapter about this, the importance of a screen detox. And I was on BBC Scotland about a month ago talking about the new government regulations and urging parents to take more control, to be better role models for the kids. And there's some brands doing great things too, you know, encouraging people to put their phones off the dinner table in restaurants and encouraging connection, face-to-face connection. We're not robots. Do you know what? I actually went out with somebody the other day. There was two people. One of them was a friend who is on a few of the dating websites and she was just constantly on it and it was driving me crazy. And another friend of mine, and he was constantly on his phone and he was like, "You're not involving me in the conversations 'cause you're not looking at me in the eye. You are not actually lifting your head up from your phone." And it was driving me absolutely bonkers. I— It really does. I don't pick the, quite often, unless I'm at a boring night out, I don't pick my phone up other than to just take a stupid selfie to say, "Look, we're having a good time," shove it Instagram show people how amazing our lives are. But that's pretty much— oh, it just drives me potty. But what I do want to know, because you are full of some incredible information, what 3 tips can you give about well-being and being the best you? Right, well, I would start with mindset. Um, everyone needs at least half an hour, I would say an hour, in the day for themselves. Um, You know, it can be so easy to give everything to other people, and I can be guilty of this. I'm wired that way. So it's taking time to really reprogram and remind yourself. So mantras are fantastic because we can— this isn't just airy-fairy, you know, chat here. Science is proving this stuff. We can rewire our brains. So if you— if I was to sit around the table with my kids, right, and they were genetically more prone to be pessimists, and they tell them to express gratitude in 3 ways every day, 3 things they're thankful for. You can rewire their brains to be optimistic. We know the more optimistic and positive our mindset is, the more opportunities come our way. We get better jobs, we live longer. All the science and studies have proven this. So what I would say is have a mantra for something that's really important to you, like, I am enough, or I deserve time out, or I deserve to cook myself a nice meal, I deserve to I speak to myself nicely. So a mantra that's current for you, um, and really take that with you and keep telling yourself it. Say it out loud and turn some music on if you have to. I mean, music is one of the best gifts we have, right? Agree. So sometimes you have to fake it till you make it, and music can really direct you there to a better state. So if the kids are arguing in the back seat and I'm going, this is killing me, I just hate I will turn the music up and sing and give myself that time. Also, motivational podcasts are huge, and shows like this to dip in and out to get some really good advice that you can take with you rather than watching the news. I would watch the news a lot less. It's depressing. The media, we're, you know, we're addicted to bad news. That's the way we're wired. I shy away from it. I sometimes go into some of my jobs and they're like, oh, did you hear what happened? I'm like, like, no, no, you don't want that. You know, it's not good for you. I just don't, I don't want to know. So we need to limit how much negativity we're taking into our life, be it through the news, be it through people that are really critical. Show them love, but don't listen too much to when they're going on about these limiting beliefs. Um, personal development, so good books, Just immerse yourself in, in things that make you happy. And another thing is move, move your body. We need to move. And sometimes it's really easy just to lie scrolling on our phones or just to be working all day, creating content or whatever it is you do, fixing things. And we need to actually get our bodies away from the laptop and go for a run, go for a walk and put the screens away and move. That was one thing actually that gave me my mojo, especially. I mean, I go to I go to the gym quite a bit anyway, but throughout both of my pregnancies, I was at the gym probably about 5 times a week because I needed the energy to keep on going, still working full-time. Or especially with my second pregnancy, I thought, how can you do it? Have you got the energy? I said, I don't have energy if I don't go to the gym. I need it. It's what I need to get by. And, you know, we all need different things. I mean, I was doing Body Combat up until I was like, 35 weeks pregnant, I just kind of, when I would do a big high kick, I kind of pulled my bump a little bit, and some people were looking at me going, is that safe? I'm like, and the PT was like, if she's always done it, it's perfectly safe. Starting body combat at 35 weeks is a bad idea. If she's always done it and she's got the strength, she'd be more damaging to stop it. Yes, absolutely. And, and it's a mindset about exercise, you know. I, I I think there's at least 2 chapters in the book that talk about exercise and how it changed my life. But yeah, you're a marathon woman. You are, you are the runner. That was bonkers. But yeah, lost toenails and everything. But I'm not saying you have to go extreme like that. That was right for me at that point in my life. But yeah, we need to change our mindset around exercise. We don't have to do it. We get to do it. We get to move. And we're going to have to— Jojo, just now very quickly have to go off to another break and then we'll try and get through at least another one question before the end of the show. How's that? I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons Live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte, on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie May Is Listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station supporting women's well-being and we're talking all things autism. Women, the possibilities are Endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Falguni Desai of Action Coach. Are you a business owner with more than 5 employees? Do you want to grow your business? I'm a London-based business coach who helps small and medium-sized businesses to grow and make a profit. I will help you identify the strengths and weaknesses in your business and then work with you to improve it using a structured framework. 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Welcome back to today's Get Booked radio show here in Covent Garden, supporting women's emotional well-being, opening discussions, and offering support. Throughout today's show, I have been chatting away to Jojo Fraser, who's still with us. Hello, hello! We've been, we've been gassing away, haven't we? But we've been, we've opening conversations and you've been giving us lots of information on how to get your mojo back. Yes, it's what we want to do. It's, it's your thing, it's your thing, it's what you do. And we've been talking about Mummy Jojo Uncut, your book that is doing very well, isn't it? You know, I, I had someone write to me that I really respect last week, a fellow author and motivational speaker, and he said, Jo, I've just read your Amazon reviews. They are phenomenal. And it was, it was a week that my cycle, perhaps PMS, you know, you hear the inner critic more, or it could have just been— sometimes we can't explain these things, but I'd been hearing that inner critic and it was just the boost I needed to remind myself, because I'm only human. And even though I preach all this stuff, I still experience it, which makes it real to people. And I'm not saying I walk around with glowing mojo all the time. Can you imagine? Yeah, I know. But I, you know, I know what I can do and I've worked hard at my mental health and I want to help other people. But it was just the perfect timing. It's so important to really focus on compliments from other people rather than focus on the negative, you know, oh, I should be doing this, I should be doing that. We can only do what we can. We need to focus. But yeah, the reviews have been— they've blown me away, actually. Do you know what, though? It's not always that bad to have these negative thoughts. Because it just shows that we care about something. We just want to make sure we're doing it right. Yeah, absolutely. It's, you know, I don't want to use the word perfectionist because obviously, you know, I don't— oh, that's what people use that with me all the time. Hazel, you're perfect. Hazel, you've done this amazingly. They don't, they don't. And you're like, you know, it's effort, effort. But the thing is, progress is really exciting as well. There's this flip side of needing the self-care. But actually, having a goal to focus on is so good for our mental health. It's amazing progress, as long as it's something you care about and not something that you hate and you're just doing it. If you care about something and you're making progress, wow, that is— that's going to boost you up. Yeah, completely. And it's just, as you were saying before, you know, the, the aim of life is just to be the best you, enjoy, be kind to people, just everything. Um, yes, yes, yes. Um, I also, a little bit of a serious question, how did you go about getting published? So, um, I, it's quite a funny story. So I was being hypnotized for research for the book, and my hypnotherapist said Oh my goodness. I was talking to her about some of the books. She said, have you met Sean? And I was like, no. And she was like, oh, Sean Patrick. He's a kind of well-being public figure and he's got a publishing company and he would love your kind of raw, authentic voice. So I thought, great, well, I'll send him. So she put us in touch and sent him the first few chapters and we had a Skype and he said, I absolutely love it. It's exactly the sort of stuff we're looking for. And so, I mean, getting published is so hard, you know. I sent my manuscript to— I sent it to Hay House, and they actually gave me some really good advice to put the toolkits in because they said, we love the book, but it's too autobiographical for us. And so they said, you know, because it's not like I've got millions of followers, and publishing companies, at the end of the day, they want to make money. So they're going for they're targeting people with millions of followers. But if you have a passion, you should never let that put you off. Yeah, I had good following, but you know, it's a business at the end of the day, isn't it? And it's very cutthroat. So don't let the rejection put you off. I mean, J.K. Rowling was once my teacher here in Edinburgh, and she was rejected. She was rejected a lot. I think it was 13 times. So you just have to keep plugging away. And I would research the kind of publisher you want to go for. Do you want to go for a really a big one who may take a bit of the creative control away, but then you'll have loads and loads of help? And do you want to go for a smaller indie-style publisher who will let you have a lot more say, um, but perhaps won't have a huge budget for PR? And so you, you'll have to do a lot of work yourself, you'll have to market the book. And, um, that worked for me because I already had a following, and, and a sort of— I do like creating the content as well. Yeah, exactly. Your sort of stereotypical author would probably be really shy. This was in an author's magazine I was reading. It said, yeah, your stereotypical author is very shy and quiet and doesn't like shouting about themselves. I mean, I don't really like stereotypes, but, you know, if you are that person and you need to put yourself out there, then it would probably be better to go for a really big one. But You know, you hear places like Penguin Books that get 500 submissions a day. I mean, it's really, really hard, isn't it? How do you get noticed? Well, that is sometimes it's to do with, I mean, you could have an incredible book, but if there's a book that's just possibly nowhere near as good, but they've got the connections or they've already been published or they've just managed to have, you know, 500,000 followers on Instagram, you know who they're going to go for. Exactly. So that is back to don't take it personally. And so many people let that stop them. If you really want to do something, do it. Well, actually, that's something I had an interview with somebody called Kerry Wilkinson. He said, you know, write the book, don't worry about, you know, writing for other people or getting a publisher. Write the book and worry about it afterwards. Exactly. And a lot of people are self-publishing now and doing really well from it. So you could even do your first book purely self-published and put it out there and, you know, see where it goes. I have actually interviewed quite a few people who are self-publishing and there are plus sides and downsides to both ways. And it just depends on what's going to suit you and what you think is going to work for you and what your book is about, I guess. There are definitely more options out there and there's so many books out there as well. But, you know, sometimes it depends on, as you are good at doing the content marketing, but for those that aren't, then, you know, possibly you need to go down the different, you know, a slightly alternative route. And we're kind of running out of time. We've chatted away for a good old hour. We need to possibly have another chat at another point, or we could have just extended this show to like a 5-hour show and then maybe we'd have got through all of my questions. I'm intrigued to know what they were. You'll need to send them to me. Ah, we'll, we'll do it for the next show. But yeah, this— yeah, I will. What I'll do is at the end of today's show, I'll be like, right, I want to know this, this, this. But what, what topics can we look out for to, to be coming out on mummyjojo.com? Right, so, um, oh, so many, so many. Um, I'm exploring our relationship with in-laws and how we can make that better. I'm exploring, I mean, anything to do with our mojo. A lot of it is different relationships and struggles that people face and relationship with food. A big one is, you know, foodies. I'm a massive foodie. How we can have a healthy balance with that, and I touch on that in the book. Yes. Yes, I actually, I love that because you, oh, we are losing you a little bit, but oh, there you are, you're back again. But yeah, the chapter kind of detailed the fact that yes, you like food, but you're not gonna, you're not, you need to form a better relationship on, a better relationship with what you have with food. So kind of stop when you're no longer hungry, but still enjoy the food that you like and just make sure that you are, finding a really good balance. We've just slightly lost Jojo a little bit there, but she will be coming back very shortly. But I'll tell you about the chapter that we had that I read from Mummy Jojo. Ah, we have you back again. We lost you a little bit then, Jojo. Can you hear me now? I can hear you now, but I was talking about the chapter and how you talk about the relationship between food and how You didn't stop. You loved your food. And if you love food, you should just completely go for it. But do the exercise as well, or possibly, you know, don't use food as a tool to kind of supplement something that you're feeling that might be quite negative. And I thought that was a really good and helpful chapter. Yeah, it was powerful. We covered a lot of ground in that one, but it's all about— I mean, mindful eating is key. Mindfulness in general. And, you know, am I just eating to fulfill an emotion here? Is it boredom? Is it for rewards? You know, sometimes if I get a great article— well, what other reward could you give yourself? You know, if you do have a bit of weight that you want to— oh, we are losing you a little bit. And other times it's a nice— oh no, you hear me now? Yeah, yeah, you just— I think it It's, do you know when you've been on the phone for ages and your phone's like going, wow, you're really on the phone that long? It's too much mojo. It's too much mojo, yeah. We are actually, we're coming to the end of today's show. Do you know what? I've had an absolute riot chatting to you. And as I said, I'd love it if you come back on the show again, 'cause I'm pretty certain we could do a regular feature just constantly talking about, you know, how to get Your Mojo, and it's an endless topic, do you not think? I will have content for life. I'm never gonna dry up, and I absolutely love what I do. So thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to talk about what I'm passionate about and try and help people. Well, you're very welcome. And what we'll do is we'll make sure we put up the link to your book and your website and your podcast um, and, um, I will be putting your book up on my latest review on hazelbutterfield.com as well. Just quickly plug yourself— websites, Twitter, Instagram, podcasts, what's coming next. Go for it, you've got 20 seconds. So you can get me @jojofrasermojo across Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and I've got a lot of exciting uncensored content coming to help boost your mojo. Real life mental health reality TV, if you like, but it's going to help you and inspire you. I've got a lot up my sleeve. Brilliant. Cannot wait. Right. Thank you, everybody, for listening in today. We've had an absolute blast. I hope you have too. I'm Hazel Butterfield. 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