Get Booked – Flavia Kate Peters, Reclaiming Your Dark Goddess, Reclaiming Your Dark Goddess 120922

You're listening to Get Booked for Women's and Men's Radio Station. I'm Hazel Butterfield and a huge book fan, so I love doing this show. Get Booked is all about talking to authors, chatting about anything and everything books related, all the joy, enlightenment, and escape that good books can provide. Sit back and let us entertain you with a different guest each week, sharing who they are, what they do and what inspires them. On today's show, we're going to be talking to Flavia Kate Peters about her book Reclaim Your Dark Goddess: The Alchemy of Transformation. Now, to give you a little bit of an insight into today's book, Flavia has very kindly let me read an extract from the beginning of her book. Here is the introduction. There comes a time for many of us when we are emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. When we feel the world is too heavy to bear and that we cannot move past dark, negative emotions or remove the things that are harming and paralysing us. We often turn on ourselves, blaming our weakness, our past, our lack of knowledge, or we rail against fate, Cursing the people and situations we believe brought us here. It's a dark place, and it can leave you feeling hopeless. But it's not a dark place. When shadows and difficult times manifest in your life, it may feel like all is lost, but it is here that the most powerful of all spiritual journeys start. It's a place where you can find the strength to enter into a process of understanding forgiveness that will enable you to embrace the parts of yourself long forgotten or abandoned, the real self that lies hidden in the darkness. The Dark Goddess has been the guardian of this realm of understanding and ancient mystery, the manifestation of the timeless mantra, "Know thyself." She can shed light on that which has been hidden When you ask the Dark Goddess, who can take on many guises to guide you, you will become exactly who you're meant to be. The sad fact is that most of us do not know our true selves. We hide, often unaware, behind a mask or facade that society, media, or even our closest relationships have deceived us into thinking we embody. This false representation leads to darkness, but understanding it can lead to light. A place of darkness is not only for those who've fallen on hard times. It can be a choice you make to explore the darker side of your nature and understand yourself completely, to finally confront the hard truths about life you have avoided and the comfort you cling to even when your soul aiks for you to step out of your comfort zone and understand your true purpose and your true self. If you wish to scramble out of the web of lies the world is caught up in and step into the truth, the Dark Goddess is waiting for you. She will accompany you as you begin to acknowledge the darker aspects of life and yourself. She will give you the opportunity to get to know those parts of yourself you have feared ignored and pushed beneath the surface, consciously or subconsciously. You just need to be brave enough and strong enough to ask her. The Dark Goddess unearths hidden emotions, often from childhood, such as jealousy and anger. Lifting these emotions into the light will bring discomfort but also opportunities for learning how to deal with them in a healthier, more effective way. Throughout this journey, you may find you no longer recognize who you are, but don't despair, for this will be when the Dark Goddess is holding your hand. She encourages you to dig deep and get to the bottom of any feelings that have prevented you from receiving all that you have desired. She will journey with you to the source of the real problem, and then together you can decide what you need to shed. During this process, you may be tempted to throw a cloak over any new discoveries, preferring to go back into the denial and repression that shielded you from the truth. Be strong and be brave, because once you begin this journey, it will become the only way open to you. Eventually, as you truly get to know, accept, and understand your darker and deeper emotions, you'll learn how to draw wisdom from your shadow side and apply it in a positive way whenever a situation calls you— for you to do so. Like most people in this world, I have faced the dark depths of despair. I experienced depression and severe illness, and I witnessed the loss of all I knew until I had nothing and had to start all over again. While I was going through this, I felt I was being punished and made to deal with it all alone, unloved and unwanted. There were times when I wished to go back, when I regretted this journey to my inner self, as it was hard and confronting and full of loss. However, with the help of the Dark Goddess, I pushed through my trials, confronting the worst parts of myself and gaining the knowledge that my life was precious and not to be frittered away. My prayers became stronger, and gradually, by facing my pain and fears, my body was given an energetic overhaul. I felt the very force of the Dark Goddess as she pushed and pulled me to my limits of despair, yet I carried on, as she was both a danger and a reward that offered me the future I desired if I was willing to work through my pain.. I could almost see it and taste it, all the while never knowing when I would arrive at the brand new day I was striving towards. When I became a victim, the Dark Goddess ignored my tears, never once embracing me or telling me everything was okay. She battled with my melodramatic outbursts, so the drama queen was never pandered to. The guilt I suffered was a hungry, insane insatiable monster I found hard to release. And as it ate away at me, the Dark Goddess dismissed my turmoil. Eventually, I had no choice but to learn how not to react, how not to be a victim or drama queen, how not to feel guilt or jealousy or any of the lower emotions that antagonized my dark journey. I had to become indifferent to the outcome of any situation, just like the Wheel of Fortune teaches. And see the hidden blessings within each. At last, the dawn appeared, and when I least expected it, of course, the lessons had been learned. I'd been stripped to the very core of who I was, and slowly, the Dark Goddess built me up piece by piece. I'd walked through the darkness and emerged and transformed into the light. And I was now holding energy in balance with knowing and wisdom. No longer am I paralyzed by any fears. I am fully confident and strong in all that I do, and I know exactly who I am. I walked the journey on my own, with only the Dark Goddess as my difficult companion, but I made it through to a place in which only truth and reality can exist. This is my new playground. If you're prepared to have your world crash all around you, to not even recognize who you are anymore, and As your old self dies to the new, you can re-emerge stronger and wiser into a whole new world. The Dark Goddess will show you the way, and even though you will feel isolated and abandoned, she will never leave your side. Your soul urges you to call upon her, for new life beckons and is waiting to be acknowledged fully. It is time to stop playing at life and live it for real. It is in the quiet, dark spaces within that, that the truth can be heard most clearly and the light can shine most brightly. The Dark Goddess reveals the psychological aspects of your hidden self, the Dark Goddess archetypal characteristics which have been feared since she herself was birthed. There are many lessons to learn along the way, and as the Dark Goddess reveals the darker aspects of of the self. She will teach you how not to be and reveal who you are not. Before or during the process, you could meet the same manifestations of the Dark Goddess over and over again until you get it, until you no longer react, go into denial, believe the inner critic, or go on the defensive. Welcome to your journey into the Dark Night of the Soul and beyond. Now, as promised, we have the author of Reclaim Your Dark Goddess: The Alchemy of Transformation, Flavia Kate Peters. Are you ready for the journey? No matter how much you want to delve into the mystical and magical side of reclaiming your dark goddess, we could all do with that positive kick up the bum that helps us to shift our mindset and own our own destiny. To take control of our life and understand exactly who we are. The autumn months and a return to routine following the end of summer holidays is just on the horizon. For many, this seasonal change can be a time to look inwards, using September as a renewed chance to set work and life resolutions for the months ahead. Flávia is joining us to tell us why we should all be prioritising ourselves in the year ahead. And Flavia's new book, Reclaim Your Dark Goddess: The Alchemy of Transformation, is an empowering guide to building self-esteem and finding peace and strength in times of inner chaos. I don't know about you, but I have so much inner chaos, and I have so many questions for you. Thank you for joining us on Get Booked, women's and men's radio station. Flavia, how are you? Oh, I'm really good. Thank you so much. It's great to be with you. Um, yeah, it's a good day for me. Thanks. Good, good, good. Now, I have been storming through your book. I have so many questions to ask you, but I think the first one is, um, why did you write this book? Oh my gosh. Well, sometimes I wish that I hadn't written it because, um, I— it took me about 3 years to actually write the book. I can imagine. And the reason I I wrote the book was because I'd actually been through a dark night of the soul myself, um, and I really, I really felt that I needed to share, um, how to actually get through those, those like terrible times, you know, when you can just not see through the darkness. Oh yeah. And you know, so I just wanted to share with that with everyone else because what I turned it into, yes, it's part of my story, but actually what I do is just share so much of a way of getting through that dark night of the soul, getting through like that dark forest when you're blinded and you can't see the light. So, so many people have been going through such a hard time that I thought it was only right for me to, to share, uh, what, what everyone's going through, but also to share how to get through it and survive. Now, do you know what, I was reading through this book and unfortunately I had to like read it in one go. I got the book a couple of weeks ago. This is the kind of book that I imagine you you need quite a bit of time to work through. But I gathered— I mean, I'd love to be more in touch with my mystical and magical side, and I have some friends who are so spiritual, and the kind of aura they emit is just incredible. And I'd love to be in touch with it. And sometimes— and this is the same for so many people— that they either are too scared or they don't have the time. And it does take quite a lot of work. But what I got from this book is Actually, Reclaiming Your Dark Goddess can quite often be just a euphemism for everyday life and so many things and so many processes that we have to go through. And how much you kind of get involved with the magical side of your book, or whether we just use the process itself, both can work, can't they? Yeah, absolutely. Both can work. You know, it's called Reclaim Your Dark Goddess. And, you know, for those who are in touch with that real magical side, you know, and really work with the goddess and, um, understand, understand that magical mystery of, of the world, it's just an amazing journey. But if you don't, there's so much in the book that will really empower you and take you on a mystical, magical journey. But like you say, you can ignore all that part if you want, because yes, the Dark Goddess very much exists, but she exists in all of us. We've all got that dark shadow within us, whether we like to admit it or not. But that's all— that's that sort of silent part of us that doesn't often get voiced. So for instance, you know, if you could be talking to someone going, oh yes, you look really lovely and amazing, and inside you're going, oh no, I don't really like you. Says every woman everywhere. And man as well. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. This isn't just for women, this is just like for everyone, you know, because we've all got that within us. And so it's that silent dialogue. But what it actually, um, is mainly about as well is the fact that what is that shadow side and where did that shadow side come from and how does it actually serve you? Because, you know, that shadow side, it's that it, it like, it's an umbrella over the other, um, resentment and bitterness and everything that can make you react to become not a very nice person. And that doesn't really inspire anyone else. It doesn't actually really help you, apart from the fact if you scream, shout, and let it all out, you feel amazing. Yeah. And, you know, quite often you do anything, "Oh, where did that come from?" And this book is like really looking at what triggers you and and, and what makes you react. And, and through the book, we actually work with different goddesses at every stage of the Dark Night of the Soul who helps you to track in. And the, the long and the short of it is you track in, and then you eventually heal from the parts you don't need anymore. You, you, you embrace the, the strength of those parts and use them as and when needed consciously. See, this is— see, I've screenshotted so many parts of the book because I actually had like the, the electronic version, which is brilliant for this book. I mean, I'd love to have it sitting on my coffee table, but sometimes when you've got an electronic version, you just screenshot it on your iPad and go, right, I need to remember this bit, and it's there and it's immediately there. Um, and there are so many parts that I screenshot every now and again because Even though you have certain kind of incantations, I think the words are, um, yeah, and there's certain poems which again can work like manifestations. And it's— there are so many parts that sometimes we just— it's part of the process. We just need to remind ourselves of who we are and the strength, and we need to speak more positively to each other. And a lot of the different stages of this book, it's just about speaking to ourselves with a little bit more compassion. And I must say, I mean, I'd love you to take a guess, what do you think was my favorite section? It wasn't the part when you were like literally deep down in the darkest abyss with Sheena the gig and the void, was it? No, it was Morrigan. Morrigan. I read through that. Oh my God, I love the Morrigan. Yeah, I mean, to be honest, out of 10, 20 screenshots, no, about 15 here, 10 of those are Morrigan. Oh wow. And I'm just going, right, that is the one where I just went, oh, that is the one I really, really, really need to just harness. Yeah. And it's, and it's, it's the theory behind it, and it's, it's the way that sometimes we need to— I mean, the best gift we can ever give to ourselves Flavia, is to understand ourselves, isn't it? Oh, it really, really is. You think when we, you know, we're born and then we're sent to school and we are told everything that we're meant to learn, including religion, and so we base our spirituality on that, even though there are so many that can feel who they are in that, on that spiritual level. But mostly we're told how to be, and some, some Sometimes something's not acceptable. And you know what, this is really actually finding out about who you really, really truly are from within, which is why through the book there's quite a lot of sacred journaling to do as well. You know, when you just sit there and just do a bit of writing, and you know what, it just comes, and you find out so more in that way. And then with different spells and different magical work and that, the incantations, it's just all about finding out exactly who you are. Before you go Dark Night of the Soul, before— what Dark Night of the Soul really is, is that once you're in your comfort zone feeling amazing, oh, you've got a happy little life, you know, but what you don't understand is that deep within your soul is saying, this isn't what I came here to do. I need now to do my correct calling of what I chose to do when I came here. And so, you know, and you're never gonna find your, your life purpose just by sitting comfortably on the sofa. No, that's scary. You know, you can't, can you? Even though it's very nice and lovely. And so what happens is like, um, uh, the Dark Goddess comes in and instigates this and instigates a change, a massive change, or a loss. And some suddenly you're catapulted into chaos and catastrophe, going, oh my gosh, you might have lost your job, you may have lost your partner, the pan— a pandemic may have come in, you've got to sit at home and not earn any money. Whatever it is, it suddenly throws you into this place and you are shaking and you don't know what to do. You're not in your comfort zone anymore. And so it's scary. It's really scary. And when you go through that process and, and you can start reacting, you would react to that. So in the book, we're looking at all the triggers of what makes you react. Suddenly you might be screaming and shouting, or suddenly being bitchy, or, or whatever it is, because you are in a place of survival. You're in survival mode, and you don't know where you are or who you are anymore. As you go through that journey, you can suddenly come into that dark abyss. What I mentioned about Sheila and the gig, it's quite an exciting place to be, but it isn't really if you don't know where you are. You're in that darkness, you can't see any light, you don't know where this is going to take you, and all you can presume is that you are going to be taken right to the bottom of the Wheel of Fortune. How are you going to afford this? How, how can you survive on your own? How are you, you know, whatever it is that's happened to instigate this dark change. However, because the Dark Goddess, she strips you down to no longer know where you are, who you are, or what you know. It's an amazing gift because, um, with the help of the book, you can start building yourself up to be exactly who you're meant to be. And, and you meant mention the Morrigan. She is just so awesome because she can help you battle— oh, she helps you battle through until you reclaim your sovereignty and you sit on your inner throne with your crown on your head, being exactly the strength and who you're meant to be. It's just a really exciting journey, but when you're in— when you're in it, it is scary as heck. It is scary, but also at the same time Um, the reason why it's scary for the individual as well is because so many people will not want you to find your— well, reclaim your inner dark goddess, because it means that you will stop taking their shit. Excuse my language, excuse my language, right? But the fact is, is that if you actually— if you, if you delve deep, that's when you suddenly go— because a lot of people want to dim your shine. So that you will take, you will be molded, you will do as you're told, you will be beaten down to be kind of fit into their mold. But the more work you do and the more you break yourself down, you suddenly go, why am I even— why do I even care what that person thinks? They're an idiot. They have not got my best interest at heart. And this, this is what I loved about the Morrigan. It's kind of going, you know, set your boundaries, and people hate it when you set boundaries, because it means that you no longer get away with the really rubbish box they've been shoving you in. And the more you understand— and yeah, it's scary because you might lose a load of friends, but the, the point is, when you break yourself down, you realize they're not friends. People don't want to control you. People who love you do not want to control you and who you really are. Some people who you really like might not like who you're going to be, but then that's just your time to evolve and move on and find people who do like who you really are, and you'll be a lot more comfortable within yourself. And I think that's why I really found an affinity with the message of the Morrigan. And yeah, she's absolutely right. She is. I mean, the message from the Morrigan— this is one of my screenshots, I absolutely love it— those who are close to you fear your wrath. I will show you how to fight carefully with wisdom as your tool, for it's time to reclaim your sovereignty. Don't be afraid to be dramatic, for it is okay to allow others to see that you mean business. However, you can do this in a kind and loving way, but be true to yourself and do not be afraid to place boundaries around you. Be not ruled by others, but appreciate those allies who ultimately have your best interests at heart, even if you can't see it. And it's sometimes it's relearning, and it's relearning a way to be. It's the same with going on a diet, you know. We know things are right for us, but we're not used to it. We're not used to eating healthy food, or we're used to turning to something when we're feeling low. And when we're— and it's exactly the same with our psyche, you know. You've got to relearn a way of living and find ways of integrate it. I mean, if you were completely in control of people reading this book and embracing it, how long do you think they should take to work through it? As long as it takes, really, as long as it takes, because it depends on what stage they're at. Yeah, you know, they might be going through a dark night of the soul at that time, so they really want to follow it closely. If they've already been through it and they can go through it, they go, oh my gosh, yeah, this is me, this is what I did, and now I realize why I react affected like that. Yeah, no, I realized why I got full-on depression and wanted just to end everything. And that will still then help them. Still, you can flick through, and those are the people that love anything magical and the Dark Goddess, and there are a lot out there, believe me. Um, they can just like work with that, whichever got— whichever goddess they really feel drawn to, and yeah, enhance and bring their magic So people can take really exactly as much or as little from your book as they want, or just work with the bits that, that you feel comfortable with. Because the more you work with bits that you feel comfortable, the more you'll be open to possibly, when you see the positive sides and the benefits, of going a little bit deeper. But you know, how much you want to involve yourself is completely down to you. We are individuals. And, um, I love it that there are so You've kind of segmented it perfectly so that people can easily follow it, or, um, and it's not like you have to do this, you have to use sage, you have to do this. Oh no, you don't have to. No, you don't, you don't have to, but you might want to flick through. And it gives you, you know, you can, you can try one of these 10 different things, um, although I was reading one part where it said you might be drawn to red wine if you're feeling like this, and I'm like 'All I drink is red wine, babe.' I am so on board with this. I'm not into red wine because I like my booze, it's because I'm in touch with my inner dark goddess. Exactly! You hit it on the head. You force me to drink it. But no, I absolutely love it. And so what do you think, if you had to choose What's your favorite section? Either your favorite section of the book or your favorite section to write? Share. Okay, so the first section is all about what the Dark Goddess is, what the Dark Night of the Soul is, and how you can— and we compare it to like feeling yourself with a Dark Goddess in winter. And that is all very magical but all very important information. Then we meet the goddesses who the dark goddesses like Baba Yaga and Fomnac, who are the instigators, the starter of the dark night of the soul. So of course that's very dark, but the information— I've had so many people write to me going, oh my gosh, you, you've written this for me, this is everything that's happened to me, and this is everything I feel. Um, you know, uh, we get right down to the nitty-gritty. But for me, I'm at the same with you, I absolutely love the Morrigan. She's fighter, and I love— I get excited about that sovereignty and sitting on your inner throne and, you know, placing your crown. I love all that, and oh my gosh, I love it. But after that, you meet the Cailleach, and she's like the old divine hag. She's like, um, the old goddess of Scotland and Ireland who, who marches about the snowy rocks and mountains. She builds them all, you know, um, and with all she brings in the driving snow, and she's all about that sort of like that ultimate death. She helps you to die, die to the old, because that's the place when you don't even recognize who you are anymore. So she's like, get rid of that, and then you, you're born again. You step into that light. And that's the bit I love when Anamisha sails down the little stream holding up her glowing lantern, and you just see that glimmer of light come back into your life, and it's just working with her just to, to be your true authentic self. I, I just love that so much. And, and in that, then you build up your inner grove of goddesses to just help you through everything, and you can call upon a certain one for whatever emotional strength or trait you need at that time, because by the time you've got to that stage you're, you're doing things consciously, not unconsciously. So you understand who you are, where you're going, what you're just sort of driving towards. And of course, you've got this whole new life around you in a way, because whatever you feel inside attracts from the outside. So if you're feeling that place of strength and sovereignty, you can only attract that into your life. It's amazing how magic works, and it's amazing, but it's Sometimes it's just the power of positive thinking as well. Now, I went for a walk this morning with my son. I've got two, yes. And, um, my 15-year-old son, he said, oh, so, so, um, what show are you doing this morning? And said, I'm going to be speaking to Flavio about Reclaiming Your Dark Goddess, and it's all, um, about, you know, the magical realm and, and then that side of things. Because, oh, so now I don't know the truth of this story, but evidently there's an issue with Pogba, the footballer, where his brother's trying to bribe him into paying money, um, because he didn't want to reveal that he'd used a witch to cast a spell on somebody, right? And he goes, so, but that's a little bit weird, isn't it, Mama? Says, yeah, but the thing is, whether Pogba believes in it or not, it's about him harnessing control over his destiny. He's obviously— evidently the, the supposed spell was against another footballer, right? And I said, but the fact is sometimes we just need to feel we're in control of our own destiny, and he's just trying to gain that control. And sometimes the power of positive thinking really works more than, than you can possibly imagine. And so that might have been what he's doing, or he might have— it might— but it, you know, there's so many different reasons to engage in different practices. Do you agree? Absolutely. And the power of positive thinking is just— yeah, when you're in that place, you can only attract that. But when you then put action into that positive thinking, that's when it really works, and that's when you can manifest and bring things about. So many witches— and he could— he might have done this— many witches— and by the way, there's nothing to be scared about witches. Witches are magical practitioners that have always loved working with the mystical forces of nature. We're nature lovers. That's who we are. And so there's nothing sinister. However, you can harness the, the magic of nature or the phases of the moon to, to work your magic even, even more strongly. And that, that will actually make, you know, bring it about. So whether you're lighting a candle, your arms are up to a full or a dark moon, um, you're working with the element of fire or water, that's all going to enhance the intention that you're putting into your spell or your thoughts. And it is about the intention, isn't it? And but I just love the fact that, you know, even you've got these footballers on, you know, millions, and they're going, do you know what, I'm just gonna go and see my, uh, magical practitioner, she's just gonna help me get through this next match. So I'm thinking the more people that do that, the more people will feel more comfortable with getting in touch with this side as well, because the power you can harness by just taking control of your own psyche. Yeah, exactly. So I thought it was an interesting story. Yeah, it's brilliant. It is brilliant because, you know, since lockdown we've, um, got a like a magical witchy shop here. And since lockdown, oh my gosh, the amount of people that have come to buy spells and crystals. Yeah, you know, it's like everything has erupted and everyone is just are so getting in tune with their inner witch, and it's all very, very exciting. You know, my mission has always been to harness the magic of the old ways and to bring that back into the world, and it really seems like that's starting to happen now. So it's really exciting. I think so many more people now, um, now this is, it's quite interesting because, you know, all, all of this kind of, it, the psychology is spending more time with yourself and understanding yourself. And I think after lockdown, people had a lot of time to delve into their headspace, which I think helped. I mean, um, the people are trying to understand the stages and the phases of the moon more and, um, really developing a better relationship with crystals because they've kind of had the time to embrace it. The problem is with society is that we don't have time to do anything. We constantly think we don't, but unfortunately you need to speculate to accumulate, so sometimes you've got to put the time in. It's that old thing, isn't it? You can work for 10 hours and the second and the last 5 hours are rubbish unless you take an hour off in between. Yeah, exactly. That's true. And it's like with anything, you know, if you want to be a professional footballer, you know, it's practice, practice, practice. If, you know, if you've, you know, if you want to, uh, become the best that you can be, the best version of yourself, then it is about investing that time into yourself. And when I went through the Dark Night of the Soul, one of the things that really, really helped me was I had to— because I'd been stripped down of everything and who I was, and in the end all I had was this like mental commentary going on the whole time: I'm rubbish, I'm this, no one really likes me, um, you know. And I just started fading and fading and fading. And when you're in that place, in the end it just makes you feel deranged and going completely mad. You know, because you're just the whole time, and what this, what happens, and what if no one likes me, what if they like her better than that, and what if my book— it's all the what-ifs, you know. Yeah. I mean, it's a really dangerous, horrible place to be, and so many people have been in that place, like in lockdown as well, and the anxiety came in and frustrations and, and, you know, even like illnesses like chronic fatigue and headaches and everything started to come in because it's all to do with your mental health and, and what's going on up, up here, you know. And I've always said that nighttime is that voice's favorite time. Oh, you know, nightmare. Never listen to yourself at 2 AM because you are the worst person to speak to. Exactly. But we do, we— the most— the person we speak to the most in the world is ourselves. And yeah, we wouldn't dream of speaking to even our worst enemy the way we speak to ourselves sometimes. It's appalling. Exactly. You wouldn't go up to someone and go, oh my God, you look disgusting today. But we say that to ourselves in the mirror. I don't know, I've seen some pretty mean playgrounds. Um, yeah, yeah, true enough. But no, you're absolutely right. So it's about absolutely loving yourself and, and And through that book as well, you suddenly find your amazing traits and your superpowers, and suddenly you're like, oh my God, I'm awesome! I've suddenly realized who I am, and yes! There are some incredible books out there about, um, utilizing language properly. Um, yes, I think just things like, you know, oh, I feel rubbish today. Yeah, you don't have to tell yourself that, or you can just say, I feel rubbish today, but you know what, this afternoon it's going to be better. All you have to do is add that half sentence to the end of it. My youngest son who's in football, when he was just starting out, he was going, "Oh, I'm just rubbish at passing." And I said, "No, you're not as good as you want to be right now." Yeah, and practice, practice, practice again. Yeah, exactly. Stop. It's so interesting. The power of words is amazing. I mean, this is something I've always said. It's like when you walk into a shop You walk through the entrance, it says entrance, but what does it really actually say? It actually says entrance. Oh, and so you walk through— yes, you walk the shop and you're being entranced to buy things. There's so much hidden magic in words. There really is. And actually, when you have the time to think about it— I can't actually remember which word it is right now, but I was, I was sitting somewhere on a beach last week, completely in my own space, on my own, and all of a sudden I thought of a word and I went, how have I got to the age of 40 and not understood how those two words are put together to create that word? And I was like, I feel like such an idiot. No, don't, don't. I do it all the time. I love, I love, you know, the source of all words, you know, it's like, ooh, interesting. It's amazing, isn't it, when he suddenly realized, like, how many people thought of entrance and entrance. So don't beat yourself up. I think it's amazing that you're just really looking deeply into things, you know. This is all— this is the journey. It's looking deeper. Well, talking about the journey and words, there's journaling really does take quite a prominent role in, uh, reclaiming our dark goddess. And I love it that it was such an important part. And I journal a lot, and sometimes if I can't sleep at night and there's thoughts running around, I quickly write them all down. Because as soon as you do, your brain kind of relaxes. It's had a bit of a cleanse because it's not sitting there going, but what if I forget this really important point? Or what if I kind of forget that I thought this about myself? If you write it down, your brain goes, it's all right, she's written it down somewhere, it's not lost forever. Um, but also when you journal, sometimes you understand more about yourself because you're ordering your thoughts. And I do remember when the friend I mentioned before, who she is hugely into, you know, this, this magical realm, and she turned around and said, right, you know, there's a full moon coming, Hazel, you're all over the place, just write down what you want to happen over the next 12 months, right? And you need to make sure you hold on to it and you keep it on your person until this full moon's done with. And yeah, she told me all this stuff. And I thought, and it, it kind of struck me maybe about a year or so later, um, most of it did come true. It was great. But it, whether it was because of the full moon making it happen, or whether it's the fact that I accepted that that's what I want because I solidified it by putting it down in it, that that is what I want, rather than just having it swim around in my brain. So there's lots of different processes that work for many, many different reasons. And whatever you choose to believe, and if it works for you, that is, that is okay. And it was, it is, sometimes we need to journal to just realize what our goals are and appreciate who we are, what we want, and what we want to do. Definitely. And when you're journaling, what happens, your higher self takes over. So if you're not focusing too much you just write down stuff and then just carry on writing, and you suddenly find that you're just writing your soul's expression. Yeah, that is the beauty of journaling. You can read back and go, wow, yeah, wow, that's what I wanted! Why didn't I think I could do that in like 20 minutes? Why have I been procrastinating for 3 and a half years? Exactly. And it sounds like a bit of a slog doing some journaling, but there's also like, there is moon magic in, lots of moon magic in, in the book, and, and different spells and and, you know, working with crystals, all different things that would just like float quite a lot of people's boats. And it's all been, you know, I've done it all myself, you know, and it's all very, very empowering. Very empowering. Yeah. Yeah. And to be honest, I— there's so much more I want to ask you, and I know that we're running out of time. Ah. Now what I'd like to know is what mythical women teach us about money, sex, and power. Um, a lot, a lot of— I mean, these goddesses, they are women, but they can help men and women, can't they? Oh yeah, they absolutely can. You know, you know, if you're a male, you know, don't think that this book can't help you. Absolutely can work with the goddess. And I just want to just quickly say, you know, in a witchy world, we all completely believe in the goddess. As the predominant force, other than God. So, you know, like, as women, we've all— if you're like of the Christian persuasion or whatever, we've always had to like think, oh well, God can help. So likewise, think of it as how can the feminine side help? So we've been in a patriarchal world for like at least the last 2,000 years, and that's all about competition, um, you know, all, all of that, trying to earn as much money, work as hard as you can. Now, on the feminine side, that's all about receiving. And so feminine is all about having that nurturing, um, that receiving, that love. And so, um, there's a massive rise at the moment with, with that, that energy and that power claiming itself again. Um, but yes, that— so, you know, and we're all going to get like caught, caught up in that. We're trying to get the balance. Actually, it's not, you know, female trying to take over male again. It's trying to bring the balance of the divine marriage of feminine and, uh, masculine. But that is it. It is about— the balance is the perfect word that you use there. And that's why I think I wanted to mention that it's important for both men and women to embrace this because it will help balance out, you know, I think most men will agree that, um, they need to kind of harness a bit more of this feminine power because, oh yeah, in so many areas of their life, so many of their lives. Yeah, exactly. And they will really relate to many of the goddesses in the deck. We've already mentioned the Morrigan. So, you know, if they're like, um, feeling like they're always in a battle and they're having to battle at work or with family or whatever it is, you know, the Morrigan can help, you know, alleviate that and bring in that softer side as well, as well as being able to have the abundance and prosperity that these guys are like striving, um, striving to work for. This is what this whole book is about. It's like you don't have to do that anymore. Everything is about your energy and whatever you feel within. Eventually that whole world will— the world will revolve around you because it matches exactly who you are and what your emitting from, from your energy, what you're attracting as well. Yeah, exactly. You are. I love it. There's also great stories. There's a story about every single goddess you are to meet, as well as working with them magically and practically and in a psychological way. And, um, and so like, for instance, in the chapter about Maeve, Queen Maeve, she's of the Tuatha Dé Danann, so she's, she's all about in Northern Ireland. And so there's all— she's like, she's an enchantress, so she's always got the men to do her bidding, and she has quite a few wars over a bull, which is crazy, um, that she's eventually buried, um, on the Hill of Tara, stood up in her tomb facing her enemies at Ulster. And I love that, you know. And so there's, you know, there's lots in there that, that the males can like really identify with. And I thought so. Yeah, exactly. There is loads. But it is called Reclaim a Dark Goddess, but take it as you will because the strapline is the alchemy of transformation. So, you know, if you want that transformation in your life, it doesn't have to just be for us gals, you know. I did have a friend at work who saw that I was reading this book and she did say, oh, I'm doing my shadow work at the moment, please tell me you're going to be talking about that. What is shadow work? Can you explain to our listeners what that is? Do you know what? And brilliant for your friend that the shadow work is suddenly something that's, yeah, sneaking out from the darkness at the moment. People are latching onto that shadow work again. The shadow side is what I talked about before. It's, it's, um, it's those lower emotions that are within you, um, from that deep, deep subconsciousness. So it's stuff that you've learned a long, long time ago. For sense. You may have been chased by an Alsatian dog when you were a kid, and you grow up now go, all German Shepherds are dangerous. Do you see what I mean? So it's that very— that those blocks that we need to get rid of. And so the shadow side is that side again where, um, if you've got it in balance, okay, and you know that you've got a real anger in there, but you, you've, you've tracked into it, you know where it's from, you've forgiven all of whatever happened all that long ago, but you've kept that in there. You can use that then if you, you know, if you're in a witchy way or something, to do a banishing spell or someone, or to pop in your boundaries, because that's where you're getting your strength from, you know. So it's about harnessing those sort of lower, lower, um, energies or, um, emotions and knowing how to use them. The problem is we all have a shadow side and we don't know how to use it. We could rear up and shout and scream and swear, or, um, just go into our pit and boo and boo our eyes out, or whatever it is, not understanding where we are or what's going on. It's as if something else is controlling us, like we're puppets. But when you understand what your shadow side is, where you're coming from, and who your shadow influencer is, you then know who is actually pulling your strings in any situation if you're kicking off in some way. So, Flavia, I think I've probably been doing shadow work and haven't realized that's what I've actually been doing. So if— so basically, I quite often, when I think that something isn't working for me, um, I know that there's a particular kind of energy I'm giving off, or I'm behaving in a particular way for so many different reasons, whether it's because I'm scared to say what I really want to say, or maybe I'm just saying ridiculous things, or I'm not, I'm not doing what sometimes, especially when we say yes to things we should be saying no to, and it can give us off the wrong, you can give off the wrong vibe. I quite often write down what I'm doing that I know is not working for me, and I offer up reasons as to why that might be so that I understand it. And the more we understand ourselves, the more we can kind of change our behavior. So I quite often write that down because it helps me to absorb it a little bit more. Is that shadow work? Yeah, you're absolutely, you know, you're in that place, you're in that place already of becoming. Okay, so quite often we're doing a lot of what you're talking about in this book. It's just understanding what we're doing. We just don't know what it is. Now, back, you know, thousands of years ago, you know, um, there was always initiations in for, you know, all certain things throughout your life. And that would have included working with shadow. But we're not taught any of this anymore. If everyone was taught this in schools, you know, we probably wouldn't have the problems that we have now. Because you're absolutely right, it's understanding who you are on that deep, deep level. That is what shadow work absolutely is. I love that. I've been working on myself a lot more than what I thought I had. Yeah, is that amazing? See, God has called you without you knowing. Now there is so much I want to ask you, but we are running out of time. I've got a couple of questions that I'd like to ask all my guests here on Get Booked for Women's and Men's radio station. And for all the questions that I didn't get chance to ask you or to have discussions with you about, it just means that people need to go off and get the book, which is very easy for them to do this. Pop onto flaviakatepeters.com or pop onto Amazon. It's super, super easy, and there'll be various links up on there, on my Twitter as well, @NuttyButty. But something that I do like to ask, and I think you're gonna have the most incredible answers to these couple of questions, is— da da da, the pressure is on! Offer 3 top tips on trying to achieve good mental well-being? First of all, I would say, you know, we spoke about it earlier, putting your boundaries. Yeah, the boundaries. It's when you don't put in your boundaries for people, it's— you just, you're just all over the place because you're not in control, you're not in your sovereignty, you're not sitting on your throne. I keep repeating this because I'm wanting all your listeners to, to do that right now. Imagine themselves on the throne, in a throne popping on the crown. From that place, you can place in your boundaries. Is that person acceptable to you? No. Is that all that work being thrown at me right now when I don't feel I've got any time because I've got this, this, and this to do, and this is what makes my mental health so bad? Just say no. Yep. What's gonna happen? You're not going to be put to death, you know. What's gonna happen? Because I spoke about how It's about loving yourself. Are you worth it to say, no, I need a bit more time for that? Yes, you are. And that's what I would say. It's about caring for yourself. It, you know, looking after your mental health is putting yourself first and having the guts and the strength to be able to do that. It's about stop being a people pleaser. There's a lot in the book about that in the Queen Maeve section. About being a people pleaser, and that's the worst again, because you're not being able to be your authentic self. You might, you might be a people pleaser because you think, oh, but I just want everyone to be happy. But what about you? And also it might be think, oh, but they might not like me. I learned something a long time ago, and it was whatever anyone thinks of you is none of your business. Yes. And also, if you spend so much time trying to please other people, you eventually get really angry with yourself. Yourself. Yeah, you're not actually seeing to your own needs, and then it ends up coming out as being irrational. Yeah, exactly. So when you start loving yourself and suddenly realizing your own superpowers— that might be a superpower as in you're really a kind and generous person, or your superpower might be that, um, you're, you're an emotional sensitive person, so your sensitivities help you to tune into other people's you know, emotions or whatever it is, you know, really big yourself up on something. If someone thinks you're showing off, you're not. Tough. It doesn't matter what they think. It's what works for you. And another thing, I think you said 3, didn't you? The third was just, you know, be creative, you know, be creative. Do that journaling, write, paint, draw pictures, because what you're doing is you're getting out of your mind and allowing something higher and connected to you to flow through you. And then that way you're connecting with that higher self of yourself rather than that lower nip-nip-nip monkey chatter mind. Wow, yeah, I love that. Um, now this next one, I love this because this really kind of, um, gives us an idea of the kind of person that each guest is and where they focus their energy. So I like to ask people who they admire in the public eye. Um, so many people use social media and follow people that make them feel really rubbish about themselves, but they're addictive. And we need to make sure that we're following people that lift us rather than make us feel rubbish. So who do you admire in the public eye? Oh, do you know what? I'm not often looking in the public, in the public eye genre really, because I'm so focused on my life with Goddesses and I've got all that going on, you know. So there's not really anyone that really springs to mind apart from— I used to be a massive Spice Girls fan. I was really spicy. And do you know what? They were like, they were one of the first, you know, they were the girls who've got the divine feminine rising, if think about it, with all the girl power going on, they were amazing at saying to, you know, come on, you've got this, you can do it. They were incredible. Um, so I think probably I'm going to say Melanie C. And the reason I'm going to say Melanie C, Sporty Spice, is because she never felt good enough to be in that band. She had imposter syndrome and she had quite a lot of bullying. She never felt so good. That's just why she worked outside hard to be as thin as she possibly could. She went through loads of depression when the band split. I know that she did, and like really, really bad mental health. But what I love about her, she's a real fighter and she's come back and she put on masses of weight and then she got loads of body shaming and now she's brought her body back to how she wants it to be, never mind anyone else. And she's living her life for her, doing her singing, but she's really connected with the LGBT and really helping people with mental health and using her platform to get her voice on that subject heard. So I think she's pretty cool. I think that's an excellent answer, and I wholeheartedly agree with everything you've said. Can you imagine having to grow up, you know, do your early 20s in front of a billion or so people who have an opinion? And trying to be like a size 4, you know, all the time, just working out the whole time so that no one can slate her. It's mental. It's crazy, isn't it? And we all do it. How many people go to work and go, "Oh, I must look the most perfect I can be." And some people wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning, start putting their makeup on. Oh, it makes me tired just thinking about the concept. Like, some of my friends are like, Yeah, you just don't really, don't care. I'm like, I just really appreciate sleep. Oh, me too. I'm having a beach because then your hair looks perfect if you basically don't brush it and let it go frizzy. That's how it's supposed to look. I'm like, I'm here for that. I'm totally all over it. Yeah, yeah. You know what, we've just got to start living our life and enjoying it. Do you know what? Living is an absolutely amazing gift. Look, we're here, we can eat food, we can pick things up, we can, you know, sniff flowers. And the rest of the universe doesn't have this, as far as we know. And we know that most other dimensions aren't physical. We've got to make the most of it. Do you know what? I've gotten through the Dark Night of the Soul. I've, I've, I've sussed out all the stages. And you know what? The world now is my playground, and I'm here to enjoy it. Well, that's my wish for everyone else. I'm so glad that you've reclaimed your dark goddess and you're helping other people to do the same. It's been an absolute hoot chatting to you today, Flurry. I've loved it. It's gonna— it's given me a real boost for the day as well. And I do urge all of the listeners to pop on to flaviakatepeters.com to go and check you out a little bit more and buy the book. Either buy it to make it look pretty as well while you're leaf through it or get the electronic version because I did find that was good to screenshot certain elements, even if you don't print them off. And then kind of, you know, sometimes you see, you can kind of take a certain element with you without having to get the pages out. Um, but no, I think it's absolutely fantastic. Um, and yeah, congratulations. I look forward to having you on the show again when you come out with your next book. I'm pretty sure. Lovely. Thank you so much. Loved it. Thank you, it has been a blast. Thank you so much, Hazel. Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much, and enjoy the rest of your day. Thank you, and you too. You've been listening to Get Booked for Women's and Men's Radio Station with the Dark Goddess, Flavia Kate Peters. Here at Get Booked, our main aim is to open discussions and offer support via the incredible writing community out there. You can come and join us, get involved, and if you want to catch up on any previous shows, you can at womensradiostation.com/shows/getbooked and on our SoundCloud. If you want to check out the books that I've been reading recently, you can pop on to my book blog at hazelbutterfield.com. There's been some fantastic books that I've been reading recently, that there is one in particular that I would love to tell you about. Sometimes a book is about escape, sometimes it's about learning something, and other times, you know, it's just about entertainment. And one that I read recently was by the fabulous author Celia Lasky with the book So Happy for You. Now Now I love a thriller that's based on flawed yet real people who've been affected by a very real society. How we can all be only a few influences in the wrong direction away from murder. The future and the past have always been manipulated by economic gain dressed up as being in our best interests using shame, financial influence and not being ousted— oh, the desire to belong— from the masses by going against the status quo. Marriage is a big business. It's, it's huge. We are supposed to be happy for our friends when their dreams come true, even if they're not our dreams, even if they turn them into a psychotic murderous product of a manipulative society, right? Just how much are we actually evolving as human beings? Society really does have a lot to answer for. It's a cracking read, so entertaining but just really does get you thinking as well. That's So Happy for You by Celia Lasky. Pop on to hazelbutterfield.com for many more reviews. Thank you for listening to Get Booked for Women's and Men's Radio Station. I'm Hazel Butterfield.