Free Your Mind – Dale Hancock, School Warrior Programme

Good morning and welcome to Free Your Mind with LKJ. This interview is being sponsored by LKJ Media, and today we have a wonderful guest on our show, Dale Hancock. Dale, I met at Global Women's meeting, and Because Mirella Sula has created this wonderful club, who owns Global Women's Magazine, she's the founder, has brought on this wonderful club where people meet, network all across the world, and, and, you know, support each other. But on that day, we had a surprise because she's also brought out Global Man, you know, and And can men and women be from the same planet and work together in networking? This is the key thing that she put us out as a pilot. Now, for us, when Mirella introduced the Global Men to the group, she said, you know, she discussed this with some of the members around the world, and some were keen and some weren't. But if, as she said, we are to live in a diverse and equal world, then how can we progress and network and show that we are, you know, we have diversity within ourselves if we don't do this? So yes, we are for global men and global women joining together, and the support together is absolutely amazing. And this is where, at this meeting, this gentleman came on stage and where we get to meet different individuals that have joined. So this lineup on the stage was just some gentlemen on it. And this wonderful guy, I must say, had wonderful muscles. But, you know, it's a shame for the listeners to see that. So that's amazing. Laugh on it. So, so, and knows all the strengths and everything, you know, from that. So that's just a slight compliment there to my my guest coming on the show, and was stood up there. And as he stood up, he really caught my attention, not for the muscles, for the listening, for the pure power of his voice. A voice that needed a platform, that already has his own platform, but needed to be accentuated. It needed to be drawn to the listeners. On this radio show at womensradiostation.com. And also because we have the mensradio.com that we bring males onto my show because I am diverse. I don't need to just go on women's radio station or men's, you know, we have— we mix them up on both stations. And our presenters at womensradiostation.com and MensRadioStation.com are all, you know, for diversity and equality. So when Dale stepped onto the platform his first time, addressing his audience before, was, "It's not about me, it's about you. It's about— I want to tell you what, you know, I do for other people." Now, for Dale, so that drew my eye because he didn't do an opening where, so Some people come on stage that have, you know, been coached, etc., which I do believe coaching is very good for, you know, for everyone to express their voice if they have problems with it. But for Dale, he came on and he opened up and it was absolutely like a— I was drawn like a magnet, I suppose, to the listeners, to his voice and what he was expressing, what he does. Dale Hancock. Coaches kids to build confidence. He's an international speaker to express his voice across there. He's a best-selling author. He's actually a national TV show winner and a host of Young Life Warrior. He said, when we talk about muscles with doubt, he strengthens the confidence of Mussels in Kids Globally, magnifying their unstoppability to become bulletproof, motivated, and happy in life. He is also the CEO of Young Life Coaches. He's absolutely dedicated to coaching educators and teachers to confidently leave their confinements of the classroom and create their own coaching consultancy for children to make a greater impact on young lives. Dale is based in Warwickshire in the UK. He is, as we were saying, a national TV game show winner. He has spoken in Parliament regarding mental health in schools. He's toured Illinois speaking in schools and colleges. He's explored 5 continents He's again, shows the wonderfulness of this gentleman. He's also a lover of animals by being a pug owner. He is a disciple to coffee, which coffee brand we will find out. And he's a bestseller of Raw Confidence, the 8 Warrior Paths to Success and Happiness They Don't Teach in School. So I do believe the listeners this morning, let's bring our Dale onto this show. Dale, are you there? Whoa! I am there, I am here, I am ready. Wait, that was— you know, you talk about muscles. I had to use every ounce of my inner resilience muscle not to interrupt you and laugh just then, because I know how important a non-interrupted introduction is, and I was just giggling like a little schoolboy throughout that. So thank you for helping me get those little nostalgic feelings back again, Jax. I appreciate you. Yes, no, no, completely full of energy, full of fire and stuff in it. So we, as we said, so Dale, you know, let's start with Global Man first. What made you join Global Man? Well, what made me— what, it's a no-brainer really, to be honest. I often think that if I can put a smile on one child's face in, in one day, that's gonna be with them for the rest of their life. Nobody— I had a teacher, I had a teacher in school, his name was Mr. Cheshire, and I was being bullied, which will allude on to why I do what I do. We'll talk about that later. And he, he said that you were, you're a 'You're important.' And I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I just thought I was worthless. I didn't get it. He said, 'Look, you're like a little fuse in a ship, a battleship. And if that fuse goes, the whole ship will not work. You're important. That's what you need to do.' And he would— I guarantee you, Jax, he wouldn't remember that. But that stuck with me for about 30-odd years. And it will never leave me. So the The reason why I've joined Global Mens is because I want to use the inner fight, the inner battle, the inner courage, and shine the light in an area in a kid's brain where they never knew existed to help them become their own mini hero. And to do that, I'm just so honored and privileged to have Marella see value in me and what I do, and yourself. For goodness' sake, I think you and I hit it off. We were talking for absolutely ages. I felt bad for the other people that wanted to speak to you. Because I think if you can just arrive to a conversation full of energy, you can inspire the entire world. Like I always say, it's easier to fix— sorry, it's easier to build a strong kid than it is to fix a broken adult. That's not to neglect adults at all, but I need women in my life. I need those amazing and powerful women because they will help me grow as a man and they will help me impact young kids boys or girls or anything in between to help them become absolutely amazing young legacy leaders. So the reason why, in short, JAGS is because I want to help kids become young legacy leaders, but I need support from incredibly empowered, empowered people such as yourself. Well, thank you for that, and for the listeners. And as you said, we did spend an immense time chatting together because of the empowerment of the voice which is drawn. And when somebody has a gift to give with a voice, and for the listeners and anybody that knows me and anything that I do, I'm so much for, you know, helping others. I can't stand bullying after being bullied myself. We're going to touch on the point of your bullying there. And like you said, yes, there was a few people queuing to see But we waited, you know, and we saw everybody. And the messages that I always have when I come back from the Global Women's— because I always believe when I do my speech, we must support, we must network, we must have those hands. And like for the listeners at home, I always say to them, use the umbrella. The umbrella is your support. You know, use it. Go to the color. Go to the colors of that. One, if it's a gray day, you will know exactly who is going to help you on those days when you code it and you put your diary, who to reach out to on those days. For yourself, you, for me, would be in that book. You would bring the sunshine on that. You would turn that umbrella around, Dale, from that dark cloudy day that a kid's had. But as soon as Peyton, that smile upon his face, you would then bring the sunlight in. To the expression of the sun always shines after the rain. For you, Dale, because of what happened to yourself in bullying and that gentleman leaving that quotation for you that you have carried through, that he's probably totally unaware of that you did, and the bullying factors in it, because it does scar. And how many of us now under mental health are able to Free our minds, talk about it as we're doing. And whoever on that platform to say to the bully and for this show and anybody that sees it, you know, when we get on those platforms, there's nothing that gives me greater pleasure whenever I speak and I look out to that audience and I wonder if the bully is sitting in there because you do forgive. Because if you don't forgive them, it's like a disease that will run through. And a good friend, Sarah, told me, you have to let that go, Jeff, because, you know, if you don't let it go, they're going to say, would have succeeded because they're still eating away at you where to go. But your success in standing there, you did not break me, you did not hammer me down, you did not crush me. So for you, Dale, you know, when you're there at Global Manz, when you're on these stages and when you're going there helping the children, your voice counts. How many classrooms have you walked out of that you have left that empowering voice of your own to that child? Like you remembered, like that gentleman said, you would fill a stadium without a doubt. Have no doubt in that, the empowerment of you. And I think for any listeners or people in education schools, you know, that listen to my show, Dale Hancock is the person you need to have in there to help the children and express it. So please, you know, Dale, can we just ask at this point, can you tell us how you can be contacted just so that if anybody does want to get in there with the schools, universities, or stuff, even a parent, you know, not for private clients, you know, to do that for that one-to-one You know, my granddaughter was suffering with bullying. I wish I'd had your number because I'd have rung you up and said, how do I— because I can't coach her under my counseling and stuff I do. But looking for that professional and what to do and for schools and going forward is that there should be something. And I'm going to have your name put on to my website as well. Which will permanently be there, it'll feed through, because I want any listener to know, or any mother to know, or father, your child will not be subject to that. If you click on here, there is a way through and connect to this gentleman, because this gentleman will save your child's life. And I believe that very much so in the power of your voice, Dale. That's absolutely the most beautiful thing that anyone can ever say to me, because I haven't had an impact on your child's life, but for you to recognize that is an absolutely huge, huge deal. And I think you do recognize that because you know what it's like to be bullied, and you know what it's like to see bullying through your own daughter's eyes. And when I shared my mini story, which we'll go into— Granddaughter, she's 13, Gail. Or even granddaughter as well. Even granddaughter. You've got a granddaughter, that's incredible. Oh my God, yes, 13. Can you believe that? Oh, you don't look like you should be a grandma, let me put it that way. There you go. And still no work. And still no work. Let me say that to the audience, I'm still free of work. I love that so much, that's so powerful. It's such a great role model as well. I love it, I absolutely adore it. So there's no— for me personally, there's no greater privilege on this planet for a parent to come to me and say, Dale, can you coach my child? Because what they're doing is they're giving me their flesh and blood, they're giving me the love of their life to me to have an impact in their life. And that's, that's a privilege. For me, there's no greater privilege. And that, by the way, Jags, was a secondary gain. I did not know that when I first started doing what I'm doing all those years ago that this was going to happen. It was just absolutely organic. And I, I just— it's just a blissful moment. There's happiness and there's bliss, and, and that's bliss. So like I mentioned to you before, I'm here to serve as many people as I possibly can. And I think that's so kind of you to say that, you know, where can people, where can people find you, Dale? And, and on a serious note, you're not doing it for me, you're doing it for people because you believe in me after our first interaction. And that's That's the power that I want to make. So what— in fact, what I'd love to do for your listeners today, this is— this is— I don't normally do this, but as you know, as you've read out, I've got a book called Raw Confidence: The 8-Worry Path to Success and Happiness They Don't Teach in School. For 10 listeners, I'm going to give my book away for free. All you have to do is pay for postage and packaging. So I'm going to give that away for free. So if there's anyone that's interested, send you a message. You can message me directly if you wanted to on Instagram, which is is Dale Vincent Coaching, or alternatively you can send me an email which is dale@dalevincentcoaching. And Dale is spelled D-A-L-E, Vincent is V-I-N-C-E-N-T, and then coaching is just coaching. I call myself Dale Vincent Coaching because oddly enough I got teased for my middle name being Vincent at school. I got teased for that more so than Hancock. I would have thought that Hancock is a far easier name to, to be, to choose to be picked on. But anyway, the kids The kiss teeth. Yeah, probably most of the listeners had a little chuckle to that. But yes, I can imagine it did. But Vincent, what is wrong with the name Vincent? I've no idea. And I think this— and this is exactly what I teach kids in schools, Jags. So I do a lot of bullying assemblies around the country. I've got one lined up— I've got three actually lined up over February and March. But I say the only reason why they tease me for it— and I got teased for many other things and physically bullied, which is not bullying, by the way. Physical bullying is assault, but we'll talk about that later. So the only reason why I think I got continued to be teased with the name Vincent is because I, Jags, I reacted to it. And guess what? An instigator's reward is a reaction, meaning that if I was to react to something then a bully or somebody that's operating with an insecure mindset and really seeking that social playground dominance will continue to do it. So my tip is, do not give those that you do not love your emotion. Save it for when you get home, for those that deserve your emotion. I hope that makes sense. Completely, completely with that, because You know, there's many ways that people can express, or they try to teach the child how to do it. For us as adults, I mean, my mother was a wonder with her say, you know, if you keep watering that plant, it will grow. So if you keep feeding, if you allow them bullies to keep coming at you, they will keep coming at you. You have to stand up. You know, and not have that. And when it's crushing you, it's crushing your mind and to go in there. So for myself, as I was saying, talking about my granddaughter, to have a telephone call when I'm doing the news that there are 7 girls outside the school filming, filming Del, my granddaughter, because Her mother married another woman. But you know what? Isn't it better that my granddaughter is brought up in a place where she's happy without domestic violence or anger? That two people found that it wasn't working, that they're both happy in where they are now. And I have no problem with people's sexuality or anything. And for my granddaughter, um, her mother married a wonderful lady and she has a rainbow child, which is— there's lots of diversity and etc. there. But the little girl's, you know, just— but the little girl is now deaf and mute because of the genes. But you know, they love that child just as much. But what happens to my granddaughter is she's now hemmed with 7 people videoing this and then holding my granddaughter, videoing it, where my granddaughter— please don't hit me, please don't hit me. Do you know your own mind, Dale, takes you back to what you're doing with that rage that's going in, all because of the sexuality of my granddaughter's parents, her mother, all because she has a rainbow child, All because, you know, that my granddaughter fought back and said no. All because they were taking the mick out of deafness and being mute. All these are protected characteristics and actually is a hate crime. And we could have gone with a hate crime against every one of those individuals. Because you must educate your child to understand that this is hate crime, these are protected characteristics, and for the child that's doing it, it's uneducated. Uneducation of the child. And education is important because for me, my God, did I get to that school quick enough. Did I go and see that headmaster and went, Lady Jago, Lady Jago, you're not on the on the list for contact. I'm coming in that school, you know, it reminded me so much of my master. I don't care. And you can get a whole audience in that classroom because what you have done, the social media. And so that's, you know, and I address that, um, class, you know, the classes in that order. So do you want coverage when you're videoing? And you think that's good, I'll give you coverage. What gives you coverages of ugliness? And I'll give you a document. I'll make you a star, shall I? A documentary on ugliness, because that's what bullying is. When you go against a protective characteristic, it doesn't do any good like you do. And they're like, wow. And you know, they can see that I'm very strong about that, like you are, because you're the person behind that camera. Every one of you had your own personal issues with your own mental health. So rather than chastise, let's put a workshop together. And you know what, they put that workshop together, and my granddaughter thankfully has no more, because it was dealt with with education, by being spoken to and addressed. Because then you've opened it up to that person that is inflicting the pain as well, though, when we look at having issues themselves, aren't they? Yeah, no, what— 100%, as I always say, a hurt person— it's like hurt people hurt people. If they're hurting inside, they want to hurt other people because they don't understand. Now, nobody on this planet that— so I've learned something over my journey from my own past experience of being bullied. So I was made to eat spit burgers, had to stand on dog poo with their feet. What's this? Could you please explain to the listener what a spit burger is? They just spat in a fist a burger and I had to eat it. Oh, and, and I had to be tackled by the whole rugby team before I was allowed to go in and get lunch. And that, and, and that really, well, hurt physically. But I just felt so— the worst thing was I just felt so excluded and so alone and just felt helpless. And there's so many kids that are going through that at the moment. And I— do you know what, Jags? I was lucky. I was lucky because if this happened in this day and age, it wouldn't stop when I was at school. It would have carried on, on social media, on TikTok. I've actually spoken to somebody who's, who is, um, I think, I think they're Year 8 or— yeah, coming to Year 8. And transgender. So they, uh, they had somebody create a hate account. They dragged a hate account— wait for it— on that Blox game. What's that Blox game called? Um, uh, there's a, there's a game that's all that the kids play. It's not Minecraft, it's something different. Um, uh, it's a Blox game and they play and it's basically all part of the metaverse. And, and they've created like a secret account to hate on and pit— literally, this is crazy— bully them physically, but virtual reality in the game. Roblox. Thank you, Roblox. That's what it is. Roblox. They made it. They made it. Lady Jags, listen to this. They actually— they made a hate account to hate on one person in Roblox. So they had the virtual reality little blocks game, and they used to pick on them in the game. And that sometimes is enough to, to really set a child off. It's, it's deluded. But like I always say, no child comes out of the womb being a bully. It's conditioned. There's nobody is born racist, nobody is born a bigot. It is all conditioned and all learned. So what we have to do, rightly so, like you said, through education, is help them unlearn what they've learned from maybe parents or misguided people or social media or what have you, and then reinstall that about what the right thing to do is and how to help somebody out and how to guide people. There was a boy I was working with recently, he's an amazing, absolutely amazing boy, he's in Year 6, and he was sitting next to this other boy and it went under the radar. He didn't come forward for about 6 months. Now, over 67% of people that are being bullied, young people under the age of 19, 67%, Lady Jags, do not come forward and tell somebody. That's dangerous and that's alarming. This boy was one of those people until he spoke, until his parents got me involved and he spoke to me. He came out to me first, so again, that's a privilege, that's an honour. He came out to me and I get— and I didn't tell his mum and dad, to a degree. I said, listen, We've got some homework throughout the week. We've got some homework. I promise you, mum and dad, I will tell you at the end of the week, but I'm going to give this responsibility to him. He was to go in school. We did an Iron Man, you know, Marvel, Jack, Lady Jacks. We did an Iron Man mindset technique, which took about 30 minutes to install into his neuro patterns. And he went into school and he went, when this boy sat next to him and said, why don't you go and die? You know, things like that, which is so alarming, so, so alarming. That's— that behavior is learned, which is absolutely farcical. So we, we worked on a little plan, which was to do the Iron Man mindset, to breathe, and then to ask him if he needed help. So I got the air quotes victim to offer to help the boy that was bullying him. And a lot of people come to me, think, now that's a bit weird, isn't it? That's a bit controversial. Absolutely. I know for a fact, as a parent, it would be very tough for me not to go and march into that school and be physical with that kid's parents. But no, because fire does not put out fire, water puts out fire. So he offered to help. I said, this is what we're going to do. We wrote down a little script. He said, oh my gosh, that's a really horrible thing to say. Are you okay? Sometimes when people say things like that, they actually mean it secretly about themselves. What I'm going to do is I'm going to go and tell the teacher that you need help. Can I go and do that? And the other little boy went, no, no, no, please don't do that. Please don't do that. It's okay. It's okay. And so he said, "Okay, how can I help you? How can I help you? If you do say something like that to me mean again, I will tell the teacher and I will ask her to help you. That's okay, and that will be okay." So he had barriers, he put his own mental barriers up and he stopped it, and for the rest of that week he continued to do that. His mum and dad said, "Dale, I don't know what you've done, but he's a changed boy. He's happy, he wants to go into school, he runs through the school gates, he's so, so happy." And then I told them about the bullying situation and told them that now your son is self-sufficient. He won't need to come to me, he won't need to go to you, he won't need to go to anyone else. If anyone else dares bully him, or air quotes, tries to bully him in the future, he goes in there, rocks up, confident, shoulders back, eyes up, never looking down, chest out, and he has fun and he's kind and he offers to help as many people as possible. So That's what I did, Lady Jaxx. I hope that kind of landed to your amazing audience that are listening to this right now. Well, I think that would be greatly received. And for whoever listens to this interview, and obviously that's going on for your own, wherever you want to use it after, you know, the radio station, it's available for teaching to go through, or anybody wants to listen. That you can. And I must say, when Dale's show comes out, it does come out at 8 o'clock in the morning and 8 PM in the evening for 7 days on the date. I'm just waiting for the date to be confirmed, uh, for this by the, uh, studio today. Um, obviously there's immense, um, uh, amount of shows because I'm opening up and talking about domestic violence, abuse, etc. There's a lot of people that, you know, that can express their stories and their help, which I'm truly grateful for. And as I say, it's a wonderful pleasure to have you on this show and opening up, freeing your own mind and showing the audience again, as many of my other guests are doing in mental health, that we've all suffered. And I do find that, you know, when we have that suffering, that strength, that like you said, they were like, for me, I was charging through that school for my granddaughter not to give up, but just that you need to address this educationally, because not to go screaming at him. I was charging at the temple, my heart was like going 100 times an hour, my poor granddaughter, and hearing those words from her. 'Please don't hit me, please don't hit me.' As the video is being played and played over social media, the school immediately dealt with that, obviously with the police, etc. It had to be done. We had to have a formal thing to address and a formal thing for, for the parents, you know. And, uh, you know, for the parents to understand, with the education for the children, like you said, with your, um warrior-type hero, um, I suppose therapy, and they put in place to save these children that you do help because you cannot beat fire with fire. You need the water to put it out and allow it not to ignite, you know. Uh, you don't— a bit like you don't put the mirror near a bit of kindlewood to ignite something. So you're very watch, you know, in the in your circles that you mix in, that you're not igniting against something that's in it, because we are all tribal. And sometimes when we have been hurt and we suffer with— at the hands of— some of these children now may be suffering domestic violence, abuse, hiding in the corner, seeing this and thinking this is a way to go forward and go to school and, and go out and attack. So that's why they're bullying. So although they are putting your anger there, you have to deal with it like you were saying, um, because if you don't, you find it rather controversial that you're doing both. But you have to deal with the core. You have to see there's a problem there. As you said, children do not come from the womb, you know, as a bully. They don't get to 3-year-old once they're getting, you know, secondary schools again skills, sorry. And then on to the age of 7, as we were saying, I often talk about this as a child progresses through their life into adulthood, that when you're getting there, that basically they're not taught they're going to be a murderer. You know, when Anne McKechnie was saying, you know, these are problems, uh, Dr. Ash Jansuri, you know, said sometimes a child can have a brain injury that causes, you know, aggression and a change in personality. But on the generalisation of bullying at school, there is a— someone is being bullied, there is a problem at home. And that should be a red flag for any teacher. If they're aware of it, or a child is brought in and they're shown about— I mean, the teacher has a hard enough day teaching the class without trying to be the psychologist, the therapist, Everything in that classroom as well is, you know, I do believe that the schools and the education, um, when they're putting in these extra monies for education, that we should have psychotherapists, we should have people like yourself employed in the schools to tackle this, because I do believe we have to start as a small child until this day to get this out. Because if we don't, then, you know, it's just going to continue to be a repeated— it's just basically a life sentence of different installments of people going different schools. As the pattern comes out, you see the police, you know, dealing on a daily basis with, um, the gang that's now moved on, grown up, got married, and got on. Now you've got the other set that coming up. And it's this continual pattern. We need education and we need, I say, people like you, you're strong, but you're passionate about it, though. You need to go forward and do that. Yeah, no, you are, you are dead right. That, that what we put, that what we put up with, we receive for life. So if you put up with it, you will always get it. It's about teaching children about first of all, to respect their own boundaries, to have the confidence to put up those boundaries, to say no, or even to say yes. But also, for misguided children that unfortunately have got a bit of a— what's the word I'm looking for? I'm just going to say it— the wrong lesson in life. Personally, bullying, for me, as the majority, if not all of your listeners, would agree with me, is Wrong. If anything, bullying is a surefire route, if you'd put up with it, for acceptance of domestic abuse in the future. Why? Because the brain likes what's familiar to it. And how do I know this? What are my qualifications to do this? Well, personal experience. I've just shared a little bit with you about how I was bullied when I was younger, and guess what, Lady Jags, I did not address it. So what happened? It went on into my future life. What happened was I got bullied by a deputy head whilst I was a teacher. So I was a PE teacher and a science teacher, and the deputy head was picking on me and bullying me and making me do things and kind of just give me extra workload to do, or give me poor reports, or give me bad lesson plans— when— sorry, lesson observations. When other people would give me good to outstanding, he was giving me poor to inadequate and things like that. And, and he had me in his office. He actually shouted at me as well a few times. Which is bizarre. But guess what? I allowed it. I didn't have the courage to stand up for myself, to say no. So, so what happened? It continued, it continued, and really had a negative effect on my mental health. And guess what? It occurred in my relationship. So I was with, I was with a woman for 5 years, and she was very controlling, very manipulative, and she was, she had an ironie this out at the end of my relationship. So the reason why I'm sharing this, ladies and gents, is because if you do not help a child address their bullying, it could lead to, to a very misaligned, poor, damaged future, which is what happened to me. Now, this person was seeing other men, plural, behind my back for the entirety of the 5 years. She actually snuck— we went traveling together. I paid £600 towards her ticket. She, um, she snuck out of my tent to be with, be with another man in another, in another tent and then come back in to see me whilst I was sleeping. And it was, I think, on a very, very, very mild unconscious level I knew that was happening. And it just really, it just, I was just a shell of a man. And so this, the, the, a brief, a brief interlude about me and maybe the the reason or the why I ignited what I was doing. So I went through, I would call it the shadow part of my life. Over the course of 6 months, I lost my job as a teacher. My area of department got disbanded, which meant I lost my job. I was helping kids with mental health. I created a refocus unit for kids with social-emotional difficulties. It was good for 2 years, very successful. But they needed to move on with budget cuts. So I lost my job. 2 weeks later, I had a car crash. 3 weeks later, I found out that my partner of 5 years was seeing other men behind my back. Um, a month later, my mom then had a heart attack, and that, that shook my world because the, the only one woman in my life that I truly, truly trusted was going to leave this planet. And I didn't cry. I didn't cry. The reason being is because my father was in bits. My little brother who was just absolutely distraught. I felt like I had to be the strong one, so I never really mourned anything. Um, 2 weeks after that, I'm— I— and this is the thing, this is— you get what you put up with. And guess what I did? I got back with my ex. I got back with her. And then guess what she did? Over Christmas, she fell pregnant with somebody else's baby. And even though she knew that my mom had a heart attack, and my mom was recovering in hospital, so that's a good thing, um, And then I forgave her again. I then found another man in my house, and it was just relentless what I was doing to myself. I had to find £15,000 to buy her out of the house, so I was £15,000 in debt. And I just got, for want of a better word, if I was to put a label on it, I would say I was just absolutely depressed. I was down. I love going to the gym. I didn't go to the gym at all for months. Random, and then how I got out of that was randomly I saw a Tony Robbins video on YouTube, which is bizarre because I never researched personal development, and I felt like he was talking directly to me. So I randomly went to the gym. I met a guy who specialized in NLP. I didn't know this. He was just talking to me differently than other people spoke to me, and I just wanted to train with him, not to get fit and strong because I already knew how to do that, just to communicate with him. And he said, yeah, that's fine, that's cool, dude, let's just work out together.. And then I got some coaching. So I got coaching for 12, yeah, 12 sessions of coaching, which was phenomenal. It's almost like he really opened up my brain and it was almost like I was just using 1% of my brain and now I was using 50% and it was just absolutely stunning. And I said to myself, right, I really want to do something now. I really want to prove something to myself. So I, as you mentioned at the beginning, applied for a TV game show. It was called Cannonball. It was hosted by Freddie Flintoff and Maya Jama, which was amazing. It was set in Malta. We had to get a plane over there, obviously. Beautiful, beautiful sun. And on the flight, my coach always said to me, he said, "Darryl, you need to make sure you have 3 intentions, what your 3 intentions are throughout the day or big events." So I said, "Okay, cool." So my intention, my 3 intentions were to have a ridiculous amount of fun. My next intention was to speak to a girl because in my eyes, all girls were horrible, toxic, nasty people because of what I went through. That's not true, by the way. That's not true, but that was my— I will, you know, I'll just— because you've come into that, so we've broken into— I'm just going to come through just for the listeners on that, for that, because what Dale had gone through, he was suffering from multiple simple traumas, simple traumas to his brain that actually then became to go on to become chronic. He became depressed with everything that happened to him, but through his depression and obviously the trauma and the simple trauma and shock, a) of his mother, you know, it was a heart attack, his job, these are all traumas, car accident, another one, multiple traumas. It's bad enough having one, but to have several, and I've, you know, we've said, you know, that people have You know, when myself and other people have suffered simple traumas and multiple, and it was discussed with Anne McKeowny, um, in one of hers about the Simple Trauma Scale and with the patterns. And what happened, if we're not careful, these go into chronic, and with depression and this worthlessness, everything, and it's a hole, it's very hard to get in. However, What you found you did because your mind, as much as it was in there, and many people that listen and listen to me with therapy and talking with mental health, was easier for you to go back, be accepted, and in a place where this hurt— I'm going to go back, I'm going to allow this woman back into my life, who has hurt me, cut me, scarred me deeply mentally. And you know, her issues are massive and need addressing. But you don't throw a stone at— because the male would throw a stone— she needs severe psychological help on that, because you do not do that. That is about a feeling of not being fully loved. But as much as you truly loved her, you could not do that until without therapy and healing to actually feel worthless of herself. It was like she's inflicting pain on herself to go and be bad and do this and then come back to you in the hours, which she did, which, you know, which you did love and do. At the same time, she was bringing you emotionally and physically down. And for you, because it goes back to the bullying, it was better to be bullied and have that bit and know what you was getting than to be in a place that you was unsure of. But it's— you have to stand. And what you did is you stood and you said, no, no, I must stop this, I must stop this abuse. And £15,000 later, leaving out you had a child, somebody else's child, the deceit, you know, that we go through, with this, and we have to address this. Um, yes, we've all probably have a fantasy in our mind, which is healthy, healthy to have a fantasy in your mind in a sexual nature. Whatever you're doing, you know, I'm going to be doing a show on dating. Why I'm bringing that in, and just to, you know, to get a couple of questions, because you have talked about this dating, so I was like, you know, going on with women and the other women are horrible. But you actually quickly stopped yourself, said, 'No, they're not.' Because if anything, the love that you gave out for global women on there was a man that excels. You have been wounded, but you know what? That, you know, I'm free, you're freeing the mind. Hey, Waltz, yeah, and it's a life lesson, a hard life lesson. But what you learn to do, like a prisoner, to stop them reoffending. They have to deal with their issues so you don't become a lifer, a lifer of abuse, a lifer of, um, in installments. So you keep going back, getting a bit more. Do you understand what I'm saying? It's like somebody going to commit a crime, they'll go back in to get that part for you. It was going back, allowing you to, you know, do this punishment, you know, be hurt, be back, you know, to have all this done. You're going to do this installment, you come out, you go, right now I'm going to pick another girl up, and then someone's going to do this until we stop and address that. And you did, you stopped and addressed it. And that's where obviously we've got to the point on to the game show, which which we are going to hear about. And to the viewers, so Dale, um, yes, it is, uh, somebody that has been immensely hurt. And as you say, freeing his mind and opening up— and this is for the listeners— is with this show. There you have to talk, whoever it is, talk, open up, you know, message me or, or whatever, you know. My voice is always there. And like for you, Dale, I hope helped in understanding that you did stop and you've gone on. And now, you know, there's all— you had to face these women then. Yeah, 100%. I could not tarnish the beautiful creatures on this planet with one brush. That's not fair of me. It really isn't fair of me. So I wanted to spread my comfort zone and speak to a girl. I, I, it was, it was okay. I'm going to be very vulnerable with this. This is a bit silly, and this is very— it's not silly though. Nothing is silly when it comes from your mind and you're freeing your mind, you're opening up your heart, and you're cleansing yourself. Thank you so much. Yeah, so my, my ex-partner was— she was a brunette, and I think the only step I could do was speak to a blonde girl, which I know, I guess it's not silly, I guess it's not, but it's just It would have just been too, too many, too triggering, I guess the word is, just to kind of like speak to somebody. And I should not label someone just the color of their hair. I mean, how big bigotry is that? That's crazy. But it's not bigotry. What you're showing it, and for the listeners, listen, what you're trying to do is when you explain it at that point was you were trying to find the opposite for somebody that's been married to somebody that's been very shy, very reserved and quiet, and they cheat on you. And you think, what? You'll definitely be the last one. You do find that they go for something that's really crazy and wild out there as an opposite, to think, well, if I go the other side, you know, because we've got balance here. So you're changing, you're flipping the— flipping it over. So I don't think you're showing any preference or, or any between two blondes or Brilliance. I think it's just the way you're expressing how you went for a different look to see if that would work better. I think, I think, yeah, I think that's a really, really good point. In fact, this has been such a lovely conversation because you've kind of tweaked my mindset now into that. So thank you, Betty Jowes, I appreciate that. No problem. Appreciate that. I just want to just give you some flowers for that. Thank you. Some virtual flowers. There you go. There we go. See, that's what it is. Virtual love, virtual, um, and that's what it's about. Kindness. Open your heart, you know, and just say something nice to somebody. 100%. And bring that smile. 100%. And I just, on the flight, I just said my 3 intentions. I wanted to have fun, I wanted to speak to a girl, and also I wanted to win. Because my mum said to me, Dale, I don't care if you lose at anything you do in your life, as long as you go in there and aim to win.. And that was really powerful because that was almost like a nod in the direction of my self-belief, you know, my self-confidence, my self-esteem, going in there and knowing, do you know what, I deserve to win, I deserve to do this. I've got a little bit of— and just to give something to the audience that I help kids with, it's called the CDE. They're not ABC, CDE. So the C is know that you are capable, you are capable, and the D is know that you are deserving And the E is make sure that you are eager to win, eager to get what you want to get for you of service of others. So I remember landing into Malta. It was fantastic. I was conversating with people. I remember being on the bus from the airport to the hotel, and I just, I thought, you know what, I'm going to fake confidence. I'm going to fake confidence. I don't know what confidence is, but I'm just going to be communicative. I'm going to be a bit loud. I'm going to be I'll try and be funny and just see what happens, 'cause none of these people know me and I'm probably never gonna see them again. So I got my GoPro, stood up in the middle of the book coaching in front of 50 people and just started talking to them and saying, "Hey guys, who's gonna win this show? You're not gonna win, I'm gonna win." And had a bit of air quotes banter, had a bit of fun just joking around. And we started talking about lots of things. I then, I said, "Who wants to do a bit of a working out with me on the beach tomorrow?" Not knowing that Malta didn't have any beaches. And a few people, said, yeah, I will, I will. And then this girl, Jagger, this girl, blonde hair, blue-green eyes, said, oh, I'll do it with you. And I said, oh wow, cool, okay. And then I've just sat down next to her and I was speaking to her for the whole 2-hour journey from the airport to the hotel. And it was amazing because we— I don't know where this inner confidence boost came from, but we, we started dating on the show, which was absolutely phenomenal. And to cut a very, very long story short, I I went on to the show, I saw the big blues of the logo, the orange of the logo, the fun, the lights, the drama, the, the, the, the sun's rays glistening off the ocean, and it was just so romantic in my own brain, like a, like a superhero zero-to-hero story. And I just looked up and I, I can't explain this to anybody, but I want to give this to as many kids worldwide, even though I don't know how to explain it. But I knew I was going to win. I just knew I was going to win. The producers, we were doing some live interviews and they said, uh, Dale, so who's going to win then? And I said, I'm going to win. And they said, that's a bit arrogant, isn't it? I said, it's not because I'm not putting anyone else down. I just believe in myself. I know that I'm going to win. And I got through to the final after doing this. It was like a bit like Total Wipeout. It's a crazy water-based activity. And I got through to the final, swinging off a giant rope 3 stories high into these rings in the middle of the ocean. You had to land in the center. And then the last swing, I had to land in the middle to win, and I did. And I won the whole TV show, and it was absolutely 100% phenomenal. And I remember, this is the key part to this story, I remember flying back on the plane, having a word with myself. And I remember saying, fake confidence, that was wrong. That experience, that was the real me showing up. And I need for my life, for my legacy, to help every child, as many children as I possibly can on this planet, to shine the light in the area of their brain where confidence exists so they can be unstoppable and unapologetically themselves to achieve anything they want on this planet with hard work, dedication, motivation and belief. So that was it, that was that. And since that day, I've been, as you know, I've spoken in Parliament, I've spoken around the world. I just want to impact as many people as possible. I wrote a book. Being dyslexic, that was very tough, but I wrote the book to help out as many kids in a different platform as possible. And I am, do you know what, Lady Jaga, I'm very proud of what I've achieved, but I want to do more, if that makes sense. And so you should be proud of yourself, Dale, as you were touching on subjects on the, you know, Tarzan, Tarzan there. Yeah, that's it. Tarzan with his muscles. Yeah, you know, most of my listeners know, I, uh, and for the radio station, I give, um, names to my, uh, guests that have been on because you leave me with such an energy. And what you guys bring. You know, like Richard is one that we also— he's my 007 of introducers, you know, and you are my Tarzan, you know. That's because I remember, you know, we have so much that we do and we put everything in there because you want— you don't— you're not living in a world where you want materialistic. You know, when I speak to Jason Kemp, he and I interviewed him, he spoke very much on He said where his world was very, very highly rewarding and treated him well, but this materialistic world, you know, it can be too much, you know, you're taking away from yourself. For you, Dale, as I've said, the moment I saw you on that stage, it's about everybody else, and what you said in the whole interview here is, you know, to help everybody. And, um, Wow, yes, because you come on there and to help and say, we've said about fake confidence. How many of us suffer with fake confidence who walk in that room that have taken a mask off as they've gone out, they've got dressed about for dinner, they're not feeling secure, and they put this mask on, and you'll see somebody in a room that is so over so energetic and so over, you know, with their coaching in their arms and this and that, because they are not dealing with stuff that, you know, there is a fake confidence that a natural— and obviously, um, I studied body language, so I understand body language very well, so I can pick up on it extremely well. I'm not saying I'm any better than anyone, but I know who is in their tribal areas and how they will mix. As you all know, you know, you get into your pax when you get to— and people say, 'Can I sit here?' Because if the child wants to go there, it's about body language and what they're trying to pick up on, how they're trying to feed on that. But once they sit there and open up, it's about removing that mask and bringing out the true concept. And once they get in there, people do settle, like the classroom. You'll get them coming in when you're going to speak into the hall, wherever you are, in the class where you're taking it. You'll get the ones that come in, you know, and also one of my favourite movies is Grease, so I really show my age there. You know, like the, what's it, Danny Zuko, isn't it? I got thrills, they multiply, and I'm losing control. And I always think I'm Olivia Newton-John, brunette at Christmas, and whenever I would have a few drinks, everyone would say, "She's hopelessly devoted to you." And my son was like, "Mum, seriously, why do you have to do that?" He was being told off. I love it, I love it, you know, because I'm hopelessly devoted to my audience, to everyone, and that hand and that invisible hand and that voice. And for me, Del, um, you know, we were going through, as we were saying, the mask and slipping and going for it is about fake confidence. You know, don't— I know sometimes we have to face the world and we have to stand up, we have to stand tall, we have to open that door, and we have to face that situation like you did, that hurt, that pain. That was inflicted upon you, Dale, by that female was so unjust and hurtful. And I do hope for any female that's listening to this show, if you are doing this, please stand up now. Take a couple of steps, please, and walk to that mirror. Lift off your mask. Look into that mirror, spell the words 'breathe,' then walk out, go onto your iPad and look for somebody to help, because you will need help if you are doing this to another human being. But you're in pain. This needs dealing with because you need to be loved. Because you are worth— you are worth something. So to stop you from doing that, please deal with that help, um, because— and then you'll look at and think, you know what, I listened to that show with Dale Hancock when I realized I was inflicting pain on somebody else. Or any listeners that do it, I inflicted pain. That's because you've got pain inside. It's time to free your own mind Open up and let's heal. Let's heal, even with Dale, with ourselves, with this conversation today. And as I've been taking you guys on this journey with different forms of abuse, and this is bullying, etc., from sexual abuse, domestic violence, you know, we've had rape, we've talked everything, suicide. And we really, you know, when I free somebody's mind, we We have to be honest. We have to go down, as they were saying in The Godfather, we've got to take it to the mattresses. We have to go there and we have to— not that I'm supporting any mafia or anything like that to my audience, it's an unbiased, unjudgmental show. However, it's about taking it there to Clayton Hills. No matter what age we are, let's stop that wheel. Let's face what we've got and deal with it, because you're enough. You're worth it. Whether you're the bully, the instigator, the person, the gentleman that's called— is cheating on his wife at this current time, whatever you are doing, stop and look. Why are you cheating? On your partner? Why are they not enough? Look at it. Are you bored? Look at some— address this thing. You have a voice. And now, God gave us ears for us to be listened to. Let us be heard. Let us be heard. And for Dale, he was heard. You know, when he talks about he cannot explain that moment of the— when he looked up, you know, with the sky, he knew he was going to win because he had empowerment. He had empowerment inside. He has a soul that was so pure and cleansed because he dealt with his own issues. He was able to breathe again. He, even though he was looking for a different sort of person, he knew he had to stop. He knew he couldn't inflict this any more upon himself. Dale Hancock changed. Dale Hancock is now empowering and growing more and more every day because he's a free spirit, a man of free love, free giving. He's a man that does something for no gain. He is the Tarzan, and I will always remember Dale Hancock as the Tarzan. I know he will come in from that deep jungle with bullies and suffer in there to stop it because he is our champion. He is someone to look up to. And I hope everybody enjoyed this show. And thank you, Dale, for coming on the show today. And goodbye to all my listeners at Free Your Mind. Let's talk about it with LKJ.