Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we're talking all things autism. We're live in Covent Garden, and it's a wet day today It was so beautiful last week when I was here. My guests today are Kevin Bugler and Linda Northcliff But before I go over to them both, I'll just tell you a little bit of what I've been getting up to It's been so busy this last week again. I actually didn't have a day off this weekend Went to the SEND national crisis cuts walk. It was amazing So many parents actually turned up a 10 Downing Street where they handed in the petition of 11,000 signatures And then we walked to Parliament Square and there were so many speakers there a really really good turnout we had a lovely day and I was so proud of Siena my one of my charity ambassadors who gave a great speech and Macaulay and Marie who sang from Orton's Got Talent. We were a little bit worried about them singing because apparently there's a by-law You're not allowed to sing but they sang and they were very well received 28 other marches were happening across the country and so we were making our mark our voices were being heard so many articles So if you want to check them out Just type in on Google send a national crisis and you can see all the articles and all the speakers that was happening across the country So my guests today are Kevin and Linda So i'm going to go over to Kevin first and before I go to Kevin I'm just going to give you a little bit of background So Kevin is 45 years young married to Ivana and father of three boys All of which are on the so-called autism spectrum Although each are as individual in their personalities as they are in their special educational needs After giving up a career to support his wife with caring for his two younger boys He formed a dads group initially which became hillingdon dads a non-profit Organization it fast became clear that some of the dads in our group wanted to do a little bit more and help All the families with the children with disabilities and special educational needs So they decided to run events for children with disabilities and special educational needs and their siblings and carers So welcome Kevin. Thank you for coming along Hi, so Kevin's a little bit nervous, but he'll be fine He's got a lot to say so Kevin. When did we first meet? Um, it would have been the 2017 Anna Kennedy got on Ryan expedition in Brunel Okay, Brunel University when we had our expo So you set up hillingdon dads and it's great to see a dads support group because there are so many mum support groups Or family support groups across the country. So tell people who are listening in what actually is hillingdon dads. What do you do? Well, basically we um, we started off as a support and social network for dads that have children with disabilities um, as as you said in the intro basically, um, we have Initially, we had the group of dads. I wanted to do a little bit more Um, so right now we actually have two groups that we have underneath the dad structure hillingdon dads structure, um, which are the dads for dads group, which is support from dads for dads caring for children with disabilities, which is we meet socially. Um We have a bar strip due on the on 30th of june, which we dads want to come along and Talk freely about whatever about whatever they basically Will have a good day and relax and um have a bit banter. Um, that sounds great So you a group of dads getting together so no women around to nag at you basically And um, so you go for a drink a bite to eat and just chat Yeah on normal occasions that the dads nights out or social gatherings that we have um, yeah We just sit down have a drink talk about football. Um, which i'm looking forward to the next one because i'm a liberal fan Anyway, okay. Um, so yeah, it'll talk about whatever. Um floats our boat on a night we do try and um, what we don't try we we do open up a lot of times because of the relaxation of the Night and the other dads having similar sort of lives as us. We do open up a bit But there's no pressure on anyone and no one's judged. Um, it's just we talk about whatever we want to talk about Yes, you can talk about you've got your own space there within amongst you. It's private There's no one listening in yeah, and sometimes you just might want to chat and say something that you might not want to share in public So it's a it's a little bit of a release I suppose. Yeah, and yeah, and we also apart from the social Meetings, yeah, we also have a closed facebook group and whatsapp group Um, which i'll obviously pass the details on to you guys as well but um It although we meet up generally around the hoonan area because that's where I live. Um, We do go other places and we allow anyone that can make it to come along Uh, we we meet once a month, um, but we do have a bigger occasion as well as in the bar strip and also the yearly Um krogano, which is where we make our own Indian not not Indian Kenyan food. Okay. Thank you so much. So i'm going to go over to linda So linda was born in south yorkshire and moved to london in 1975 The reason she moved was to take advantage of the work opportunities South yorkshire was in the throes of the demise of the mining industry on arrival in london She went to work at the new charring cross hospital and gained experience in many Specialities during the time. She worked with many leading consultants and also worked in many other london hospitals gathering Experience and finally settled to work in the operating theatres She loved the experience and got to develop relationships with many professionals Then her grandson came along in 2007 became obvious that he was different despite achieving all his milestones Although she was expecting to be told that something was not normal. The bombshell came and he was diagnosed with autism So welcome linda. Thank you for coming along. Thank you for inviting me So do you want to talk a little bit about um the diagnosis of your grandson? Do you know how long it took how long was the process? The actually was quite quick Um in when you look at how long other people have to wait um, we had a very good health visitor who actually um Recognized that uh, my grandson was different. Okay and referred us to the child development. I think having circumvented the gp That made we were able to um get a diagnosis quite quickly So he was diagnosed at two and a half And his two-year checkup with a health visitor provoked that so not that long at all. Okay. How old is he now? archie's 11 going on 12. Oh, so the teenage years will be kicking in soon. I already have So, how did you become aware that your work colleagues had very little knowledge about autism? uh, archie had a very difficult birth and I was Asking my colleagues and the doctors that I worked with a few pertinent questions about his development and It became clear that they had no idea at all so um when i'd realized that he was um different and that um They didn't have very much knowledge um, I started to do a lot of research myself and then One day I was chatting with uh one of my professors and asked him what he knew about autism Okay, and I was absolutely gobsmacked That he actually had the nerve to say it was bad parenting and a disability Benefit to go to oh my word. So Having heard that I actually said to him. Do you know what? You have a lot of traits of autism And I think you should go and have a look at you know, what what's out there? I said you're very literal you're um Everything has to be in a routine Your social skills are appalling And you know, I think it's time you had to look into yourself to see What autism is about? Okay. I believe you took your grandson into work with you. I did Absolutely. And you know the usual things cropped up. Oh, he doesn't look autistic. Is he violent? Has he got mental health issues? All of which made me, you know really surprised that they didn't have any awareness. So I set about um Setting up some sessions to talk about my grandson about his autism And about a lack of understanding that they had Which I think actually did quite a an enlightening thing for them And hopefully they carry on now and have some more insight into autism. Good on you Kevin, um your sons how old are they and when did they get diagnosed and was it a long process for you? I'm always interested in asking people about the diagnosis process. Um, to be fair both of them were similar to linda's that both of them were Diagnosed at age three. Okay. They're currently seven And nine and i've got an older boy who's um been diagnosed recently He's now 26, but um, he got diagnosed last year. So but he's been diagnosed with ADHD um As well, so and it was quite a quick process, uh We had to fight for a few things like um, but more school-wise we're happy enough But we had to fight for better accommodation with where we lived in their house because they were Trying to get out of the window the top floor of a four-story building and stuff like that. Um And the windows were very weak where we where we were so yeah Yeah talking about um Climbing out the window. Um, I remember I used to work for a doctor's answering service And my husband sean used to look after the boys while I was working for the doctor's answering service And I used to sort of ring now and again when I was possible just to say oh how things are going And um, I rang my husband and he was hyperventilating. I'm thinking what's going on here What's happening and angela just climbed out of the window onto the roof? And he um took his trains and basically it was a flat roof And sean was trying to coax him to get back in and he just took him such a long time But he felt he felt like his heart was coming out of his chest But he finally did manage to get him in and um, so he said, you know That's why i'm hyperventilating over the phone and angela seems to like heights the higher he goes the better He likes it on trampolines. I remember I took him to brunell university He was jumping on the trampoline and um, he just threw himself all over the place and he just you know They're supposed to be clumsy i've heard but angela is so not clumsy He saw show footage and he could see the pure joy on his face because he was doing Something he loved and he also went in next door's chimney Which is something else that we experienced because the lady next door was actually getting a new roof So he climbed up on the scaffold scaffold in went in the chimney and we had to get the fiber gate out And uh when the fiber gate went to climb up they said how did he get up here? I do not know and I just said keep it short and simple and it was like angela out of the chimney And he said no, thank you So they finally did get him down after people were watching him and taking photographs So yes, our lives are definitely not boring. So we're going to be moving on soon to the second quarter So if you'd like to ask my guests some questions, you can contact me through the charity website, which is Www.anna kennedy online.com. We will be sharing an article about what um, Linda and kevin have been speaking about and any links that they share we'll share that with you in case you missed them So again, um, or you can follow them on um, hd support group. Is that right on twitter? Oh, yeah, you've got hd support care support group and um, you've got whatsapp you've got phone number Okay, so that's great. So we can share that again soon. Thank you Welcome to women's radio station i'm sarah louise ryan and welcome to love lessons live on women's radio station Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me Hello and welcome to julie is listening. Hi, this is anna kennedy And we're at women's radio station supporting women's well-being and we're talking all things autism women The possibilities are endless. 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That's women's radio stn Or facebook women's radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs Hello, this is anna kennedy and we're talking all things autism and we're supporting women's well-being and we're live in coven garden My guests today are kevin and linda from hillingdon dads and hillingdon support group So kevin is going to tell me a little bit more about the support group But before I go over to kevin, I just want to remind you of our hero awards The closing date is in september the first week of september So if you know of somebody that goes the extra mile, there's 12 different categories and if you check out Autismheroawards.com you can see all of the categories and nominate somebody who you feel that goes the extra mile It could be a teacher. It could be a business. It could be a reporter that writes particularly well It could be a mom. It could be a carer. It could be a sibling So check out the website. The um nominations are coming in thick and fast But as I say the closing date is the first week of september and the actual event itself is going to be held at chelsea Harper hotel which is going to be in november. So kevin tell me a little bit more about the support group Um, yeah, basically we call it hc carer support group and we run events for children with disabilities and special education needs That's all disabilities. Okay, um, we invite their siblings and the carers along too The focus being on the children to have fun, relax, enjoy sensory play or do sensory activities um quiet areas and stuff like that as well if need be while Um with their siblings um while they carers Meet other carers and find other support from groups around. Okay, such as yourself because we we actually collaborate on a couple of our events such as the send summer fun day, which is coming up soon. Yeah, as well as the um Helen and dad centers grotto in christmas market. Yeah, that was lovely last year. That was really lovely Um, so the send summer fun day that's happening on saturday the 22nd of june and it's between 11 and 3 So if you're living in the area, it's at pentland field school, which is pentland way in ickinam So again, it's for children with disabilities and special educational needs and their siblings So it's somewhere where you can go. You don't feel judged. You can have a good time You can have a cake. You can have a drink. You can have even have a bounce on the bouncy castle if you want to So we had it last year and so many families enjoyed it and they came up to us and said thank you so much For doing something for our families and there is a page on facebook, which is at send summer fun day as well Yeah, so at send so that sent so s en summer fun day Okay So any so tell me a little bit about the um the centers grotto because obviously that's coming up again And obviously I know a little bit about it because I was there So but if you can talk to people that might be interested, they might want to put the day in their diary Um, so yeah, yeah, the next one, um, we penciled in because it needs to be confirmed when we get the venue But it'll be on the 7th of december um, and basically Every how we design it normally is that the children will book a time slot So there's no cheering they will get a free gift of santa and then we'll also have Choir hour and a christmas market where a bit more chaos Resumes also we will have the sensory areas where we have dark dens Like light zones and also um activities for the children. So that's great So check it out. Um again If you on facebook look for hillington dad's group or you can check out anna kennedy online all the information is on there. So Linda what tell me a little bit more about what the adverse effects That your grandson experience from the general public Um, so obviously parents, um are talking about that but I like to talk to you about from a grandparent's point of view What have you experienced? Um, well i've done quite a bit of caring for my grandson while my daughter went to work So taking him out shopping was a real show The lighting and the noise in a lot of the supermarkets is really Um Overwhelming yeah, overwhelming and it sets off either his stimming or his ability to stay focused and a few times of course he gets very Uh personal as well, you know if there are funny smells around if there are people with um Um funny clothes or whatever. Yeah, he's very vocal at saying these things and um Often if other people hear him doing that sort of thing Um, they either get Um quite rude about it. In fact one person Uh told me that the child needed a good slap and so did I need a good slap? Wow Just because this child was being himself So it can be very difficult We avoid big supermarkets within Once we realize that that triggered some of his behaviors. Yeah, and In particular marks and spencer was the worst was it? Absolutely the strobe lightning the Buzzing from that, you know, these are all sounds that we take for granted. Yeah, we just take it for him Yeah, it was a big thing. But uh now he avoids them himself. Yeah, he says I don't want to go there Um, I can't bear the noise in there. I can't bear the smell But it's great that he can verbalize that to you Like my son. Angelo It was like the archway of a shop and I was looking at the archway thinking what is it about this? He just didn't he was holding on to the side as if to say don't take me in there When we went to whipsnade zoo was another one the gate there was something about the gate that he found really really Overwhelming. So when you have a child that um is nonverbal What might be useful is to carry an alert card to say my son is autistic or this young man is autistic Or even if you're an adult who runs on the spectrum Just carry something if you feel you can't verbalize it just to say look this is what's happening. I'm not being rude It's just overwhelming for me. I can't speak. Um, i'm just letting you know Absolutely, uh, but archy can speak and now he will often say to them. I am autistic if you don't like it There's the door So that's great. So tell me a little bit more um, Kevin Um about yourself like what does the future hold would you say for hillingdon dads and for yourself? Um, we've currently applied to register as a charity and we're waiting on The outcome of that it shouldn't be hopefully too much longer. Uh But it apparently does take a while I'm just going to say if someone is applying for a charity status Don't be despondent because it is quite common that the paperwork gets sent back a couple of times I've spoken to various people where up to two or three times Um, so but just persevere you will get there in the end but once we have that with once we're a charity then We're going to continue to look at where there may be gaps in support for children again families with Have children with disabilities. Um, especially occasionally needs and where there's gaps We'll we'll try and fill the gaps and give support where it's needed. So what's the future for you personally? Um for me personally, um, I will continue to make hillingdon dads. Um a great source of support advice fun workshops Again for families with children disabilities as well as hillingdon dads on a personal note I would like to help within the education system employment sectors um And help young adults with disabilities into employment and maybe create a better pathway leading to the employment Career-based education something like that. Yeah, so as we know that um Say for example adults like um angela and other similar and on the spectrum There's something like six percent of in employment and then um adults that are on the say, for example like patrick There's 15 to 16. That's what I believe I'm sure the figures probably and a lot lower that are in full-time employment And there is there is a lot of help out there for um children that may have ehc plans Which is great and obviously it's needed. So if somebody doesn't know what an ehcp plan, what is it? educational and health care plan basically for children that have special educational needs Yeah, so it's um quite can be quite complex and you need to make sure it's written correctly before you sign it off Yeah, and not every child that has a diagnosis will necessarily get an ehcp plan and to be fair Not every child will actually get a diagnosis. So it's about helping All increasingly those children that may struggle to get into employment in a way that they It'll be better for them So at least they need a better life and lead independent lives as we parents all want them to do So what would you say the support was like for? Children and adults who have a special educational needs and disability in hillington. Do you think things can be improved? Yep, okay. So what sort of things would you do to improve the situation? Um, there is a lot of support out there. However, you know where to look for it for number one Yeah, it's about sharing the information and it seems that a lot of the support is given to um Charities or non-profit organizations such as hillington dad and anakin and the online. Um, and in theory hillington had a lot of Support groups out there, but if the children were getting support where it was needed then there would be less support groups needed in the first place Okay, so linda, I believe you work with kevin So obviously i've been at some of the events where you've made some fantastic cakes, which are absolutely delicious And obviously supported the event. So what sort of things do you do within the group? Um, well, I support kevin and obviously my aim is to make sure that you know These families have somewhere to go to that their Siblings are included and that there is a day For them to have fun um and I think it's What's needed in our area? Um, you know because often these Families isolate themselves because they feel that they will be judged If they're out in the community or at events that With other children who may not be Have a disability So it's really to also give information to the carers the parents Where to find help and you know, we offer lots of information about all the charities that are In the hellenden area And if we don't know it we will find out and then send it on as and when we can Trying to make it a one-stop shop so that people can come and have fun with the children. Yeah without judgment Relax, whatever they need as well as getting information for what they need And I think it's important that I think your family's lucky linda to have you because extended family is so important for parents moms and dads like for example, my Extended family is coral and obviously my mum lives in the north east which i'm going to see her at the weekend Um, but it's great to have Extended family that really can support so for example, if i'm going somewhere, I might be a bit late coral be there To look after angelo for me Um, so I just wanted to say that they're really lucky to have someone like you that really loves your grandson And you really want him to do well So, um, if there's any extended family out there and you've got um children with a disability try and do what? Whatever you can to support the family because they really need it. They need respite. They need time out They need even just to be able to go to have a bath in quiet, you know in peace That sort of thing. I think people take things for granted And um, they don't realize, you know how it can take its toll on the family lack of sleep You know all that sort of thing So we're going to be talking a little bit more in the next quarter So again, if you'd like to be a speaker and you want to come on to the all things autism Please contact me on www.anna kennedy online.com Welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's well-being Women's radio station is all about diversity from opinions career ethnicity Education and most importantly women's well-being we aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere providing opportunities and the platform for your voice Visit our website women's radio station.com for more information Hi, i'm liz van linden a uk travel consultant for hazelmaid travel People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back here. 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Ives. I've had so many messages already from the performers. They're so excited They cannot wait So if you're living in the area of Cornwall or in Devon or st. Ives, which is such a beautiful place I'm looking forward to going to the road show But i'm also going looking forward to going to st. Ives because it's so lovely. I feel like i'm on holiday Um, so it's 29th of june and it's going to be at the kids are us theater We have 18 performers that are going to be showcasing their talent And phil who's one of my friends who I actually met at the weekend. He was down from Cornwall. We've been chatting We've been preparing but he's told me he's going to sing. He's got such a wonderful voice So he's going to be opening the show with the kids are us performers I'm also going to be taking the show to rice slip, which is not far at all That's going to be happening on october the 12th at the winston churchill theater So if you're interested, you might like to perform So if you're a singer a dancer if you're a comedian, if you've got fantastic artwork If you like to tell jokes, whatever it is, you like to do Please send in your auditions to anna kennedy online and we'll be choosing 20 performers From the rice slip area and some from past shows that we've had and it will be a night to remember So linda you have told me that your grandson needs 24 hour care And the management of this has took toll on your daughter's relationship So tell me a little bit more about that and how important it is to arm yourself with information. Oh, absolutely. It's important Um, but you're right Relationships when you've got disabilities in their family are often skewed particularly if there is a member in the family who doesn't agree with Your parent in styles with the diagnosis with the way the child behaves It can cause a lot of conflict and I think the statistics say that You know, they're quite high that many of the relationships just drift apart and Often it's mum that's left with caring for somebody with a disability and that takes a big toll on their emotional and mental well-being and You know, they often don't have time for themselves because they're Caring 24 seven or juggling a job. Absolutely When I came along to help my daughter with all this she then got her self-esteem back She was dreadfully anxious when she went out leaving him was you know Was I caring for the child the way she was all these things made her extremely anxious? Luckily, she's now back in work Um, she's feeling a bit better about herself. Good, but she still has moments where she doubts her capabilities Where she doubts whether she'll be able to continue to look after my grandson Because there are days when he's terribly challenging And you know these days often make you feel That you're not worthy of the job that you've been given But you didn't want So kevin tell me a little bit about um, how do you need help with your mental health and well-being and how do you support your family? I've had a sort of battering over the last few years where i've been trying to um Get myself, um assess for certain things that I might might um have wrong with me. Um, i've been to clinics Doctors i've been referred a few times and finally last week i've got um diagnosed with ADHD How did you feel? To be fair relieved, um, but no different. Um Because I knew there was something Um, but yeah, finally, I've now started a course of medication. So that might be a little bit why i'm a little bit strange today but Yeah, I mean moving forward at least um I know that it wasn't just me being Not a nice person. It was just me being Suffering with ADHD that I couldn't do necessarily meetings can do something like this. Um Couldn't cope with the stress. However, I didn't have the confidence in what I was doing so it's kind of uh, I would suffer because I have the confidence but I couldn't get the jobs unnecessarily because I Didn't look like I was confident within the interview process or something like that But um, yeah, I mean I have um had a lot of um illnesses as well over the years as well so this is just one Formal initials to add to my um, um many other initials that i've got to my um Well-being however, my family motivates me. Um I want to make sure that they're happy throughout their lives and I want to make sure that my boys will be able to live independently Yeah, my wife gives me constant support Um, in fact, she's the family rock if you like um yeah, and basically Because I I am me I can't relax. I have to keep busy With Finland and dad with hd care support group We do a lot of events to help people and it's a feedback I get that gives me my reward for my mental health status, basically When people say how relieved they are how thankful they are just Sometimes just for listening to them It it's more rewarding than any job I've had in the past. So it's fantastic. So even even a bad days that we that we all have But it's always good to know in the back of your mind that you've helped one person if not many Yeah, so what tips would you give a father? Um whose children have been diagnosed because obviously you've got three Um, and so there's a lot of parents that listening that uh, their children might have been diagnosed and they tend to blame themselves And I always say there's no one to blame And also if you think about it your children haven't changed they've just been given a diagnosis. They've always been the same so How what is there any tips that you would give to a um a dad that um is basically thinking? Firstly brief yeah, um, and um, yeah basically With me Ben might have just got the diagnosis last week myself, um for me There was a lot of similarities between me and what my all three of my children have gone through. Okay. Um, so a lot of times i've just At the beginning I was just thinking well, that's just normal because that's what I did as a child as well So I think not all but some dads might be out there thinking it's normal because that's what they did but it's Not necessarily and you want to get as much help for your children as possible And if you're not sure if you've got the diagnosis, you're not sure you can contact hilling and dad We've got a closed dad's group on facebook. Um It's um, so they just type in hillingdon Hilling and dad's uk and they'll they'll see the closed group. Um during a closed group. That means there's no mothers allowed and sorry, sorry mothers, um But um, it is it is good for um dads to have that place where they can open up And say what they feel Ask other dads. Um at the end of the day i'm not the one that's there to give you advice necessarily We all give each other advice because what what i've gone through is not necessarily what other people have gone through But there will be somebody within the group because we've got people dads from all over the ek even in that facebook group Um, and there'll be somebody that's gone through something similar even From just getting a diagnosis asd to even transitioning. Um Going on to secondary school and all sorts of um issues that we have gone through with our dads So out of interest when a dad joins a closed group, do they do they open up straight away or do they take a little bit of time? No, not not always and many people just look and wait for the advice. I would put on there like I would share Um, uh posts from other groups to trying it um Just broadening everyone's horizons on what's what's what help is out there and what advice is out there. Um If you don't want to talk no one has to talk, but it's a place where you can talk if you feel free to yeah The other thing I was going to say to you is because um, I was speaking to Gemma last week and she was diagnosed at 27 and she's just shared it now as 36 years old So she's just told her children as well. So she hasn't actually shared it with them So I wanted to ask you have you shared it with your children? Are you going to share it with your children? And if you are how are you going to approach it? I kind of did. Um, I said because I i'm open in what I talk about However, I don't know if my children understand that they have autism. Okay But I openly talk about autism in front of them Um, but when I came home last week after receiving diagnosis, I said i'm in your club Yeah, so I kind of did okay, but I do Open up to him. I do talk to him I have some amazing conversations with my children and when you actually think hold on a minute there's seven and seven and nine Yeah, um, and you think i'm talking to them as if they're teenagers and they do Talk back as if they're teenagers at times and almost adult. Yeah Um And that's when they sort of they get it when they come and relax, but you get it So when when i've got that moment i've all talked to them more about it. And what about telling your wife? How did you feel about that? I think she pre-diagnosed me anyway, so It was fine Okay. So what can you see for the future for your two boys? Can you see a bright future for them? No, um, and and that's why I keep going Um There's i'm very happy at primary school age Primary school that we're going to is fantastic for them. Is that mainstream? It's mainstream. It's got a special resource. Um, okay, that's good But basically I I can see a bottleneck happening where there's a lot of sn children at primary school age And at some point they're all going to go to secondary schools And I don't think the secondary schools, um, certainly in our area will know what's hit them because Some of them are struggling now. Yeah, and it's going to be a hell of a lot more in the future. So, um, basically That's why I want to look into that sort of area. That's why i'm speaking to schools That's why I go to school. That's why I have coffee mornings at schools and trying to speak to them Because it's they may not know the more awareness like what you do the more awareness that they have the better it is, um for everyone and It's not necessarily the people at fault. It's the system that's at fault for um, not Yeah, I think the thing is with primary school, it's a little bit more structured But when they go to secondary school, it's like more children moving from classroom to classroom Their organizational skills might be quite poor So if you're a parent looking for a secondary school if I was you I would visit as many schools as possible Whether they're mainstream whether a special educational needs school whether they're a unit And just find out the flavor of what's going on out there. Also look at their offstead report What's written in their offstead report? Speak to teachers speak to pupils if you can as you're walking around to get like a flavor of what's going on So it is a bit of a minefield, but you need to do the research as early as possible Did you want to say something? Just on the offstead. Yeah, if it's got a bad offset offstead report It doesn't necessarily reflect on sen education because some um offstead reports are all about the education being the high grades Look for a good school get a good feel So again, if you've got any questions that you would like to ask linda that if you would like to ask kevin You can either go on um facebook and type in hillingdon dads or hd carer support on twitter Um, or you can ask me a question and I can pass it on to kevin on anna kennedy online use the contact form Which is www.anna kennedy online.com. I'm on social media at anna kennedy one on twitter and anna kennedy online on facebook Welcome to women's radio station. I'm sarah louise ryan and welcome to love lessons live on women's radio station Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me Hello and welcome to julie is listening. Hi, this is anna kennedy And we're at women's radio station supporting women's well-being and we're talking all things autism women The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different Hi, i'm falguni desai of action coach. Are you a business owner with more than five employees? Do you want to grow your business? I'm a london-based business coach who helps small and medium-sized businesses to grow and make a profit I will help you identify the strengths and weaknesses in your business and then work with you to improve it using a structured framework To find out more contact me on o double seven two one six five four six four zero And book your one-hour complementary one-to-one coaching session. Thank you Hi, i'm tracy weeden of brownhill insurance group We are an award-winning family-run insurance broker covering a wide range of insurance products Ranging from commercial lines to personal household high net worth and fine art. 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We've got you covered Hi, i'm hazel butterfield a blogger book lover and mental health advocate And you can listen to my show get booked here at women's radio stations daily at 5 a.m And 5 p.m Throughout my shows we'll talk about the books i've read new releases chapter authors publishers and book enthusiasts all with a scene And aim of supporting women's emotional well-being if you have a book to tell us about get in touch At presenters at women's radio station.com join me on my show and share my love of books and writing Hi, i'm valentina barraci and i'm the executive director of media matters for women We're registered charity operating in sierra leone and the democratic republic of congo And we produce and share podcasts via bluetooth and mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access own and share information To find out more and be part of this movement. Come check out our website at media matters for women.org You're listening to women's radio stations supporting women's well-being Women's radio stations creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved Join us on instagram and twitter at women's radio station. That's women's radio stn Or facebook women's radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs Hello, this is anna kennedy and we're talking all things autism and we're promoting supporting women's well-being So just to remind you about hillingdon dads in case you might like to contact them. They have a helpline number and it's 0 7 7 5 2 1 6 9 8 4 9 so just in case you miss that it's 0 7 7 5 2 1 6 9 8 4 9 apparently they have whatsapp groups as well. Um, if you wanted to email them It's hillingdon dads at gmail.com. So that's hillingdon dads at gmail.com or they're on facebook And i'll just spell this out for you. So it's hd D a d z for Dads for dads but spelled d a d z number four dad and z And the last thing is that they have the support group which is hd carer support group And if you'd like to contact them on that number, it's 0 7 7 5 2 1 6 9 8 4 9 I just wanted to promote in case you might like to come again to the sen summer fun day Which is happening not long now saturday the 22nd of june and it's 11 until 3 a.m So if you're living in the area, it's for children with disabilities and special educational needs and their siblings and it's pentland field school In icknum lots of things going on bouncy castles face painting sensory play quiet zone Arts craft zone fun day stalls supporting for food and drink vendors and more and it's only five pound per child For online bookings and seven pounds on the day and parents go free So again, just check it out. It's on our charity website anna kennedy online or it's on the hillingdon dads.org Dot uk, so we're just going to talk a little bit about well-being what we need to do to look after ourselves Because obviously as parents and grandparents wear the lynch pins of the family to keep everything going. So kevin What do you do to relax? um We have a dog Um is a sufficient area who's um one years old and I love going for walks with him. Okay Um, so how did the kids cope with the dog coming into the house? Fine, um, he's chaotic just as they are He's named stitch. Um, and he's well named from leo stitch. Okay, um, basically He's great. I'm sure he's probably on a spectrum too. He's more than welcome in our house. Um, he loves linda, too Um, so yeah walking him Can't necessarily let him have a lead because I think he'd be gone forever. But um, yeah, it's nice to walk with him and the family uh We have good conversations with the boys when we're out and about and just being with the family and just being able to Be ourselves at that point and being able to breathe is nice Is there any places you would recommend if people are listening in from say the londonboro of hillingdon to go for walks? Because I go to places like black park go to the rice lip lido So is there any places that you go to that you would say was autism friendly? Oh, well, we're lucky enough. Um, it's it's a public field, but we're lucky enough to live next door to um, the abbots Um fields which is basically pole hill It's in between charcoal and the hillingdon Long lane area. Yeah, but basically we walk around there and it's lovely just walk around there for us. However, if I was to um Um best place that I know of um, because in rice lip lido I can get very busy and for children Yeah, and that's why I always go really early. He's not great. Yeah, um, but um, he got the Train phoenix harlington, they've got a lot of the locomotives. Yeah. Yeah, and also Whitman's were a factoring is quite nice. Oh, yeah, i've actually taken angelo there and sometimes he's not I don't know. There's something about it there that you feel comfortable But you find that you might go to a place regularly and then all of a sudden it's just not Comfortable for them anymore. What about you? Um, linda, what do you do to relax? Um, well, I do a lot of crafting. Okay, and in particular I knit Um small babies hats for the hillingdon hospital. Okay for the premature babies for the premature babies or even for the term babies, okay, um I just taken in a batch of 60 hats and they snatched my hand off Um, you know, these are all bits of wool that i've had over the years. Yeah projects that i've been doing Um reading and taking our dog for a walk is a big golden retriever. He was supposed to be um A special needs dog. Okay, but unfortunately where we got him from was not a kosher place So if you are looking for a dog for your autistic children, please be aware And you know use reputable people Um, the dog also is on the spectrum He behaves just like my grandson at times. How does he get on with him? Um, not really. No, he doesn't particularly want to have much to do with him Because archy also has ADHD. So he's a bit unpredictable. Okay But yeah, if we're out walking the dog He's obviously looking either in front to see what my grandson's up to or looking back to see why we aren't Close to him as part of his pack Um, so those are the sort of things that I do. I really don't get much time for anything else You like baking though, don't you? I do like baking and um, I have in my time Done quite a lot both when I was at work. Okay Um, you know, they all used to dive into the coffee room and oh Linda's here today. We'll We'll have some of her cakes. Yeah But so what what can you see for the future for your grandson? Where can you where can you see him? Well, um, I was very skeptical until um, he developed a love for football And he's very very talented. He was being schooled by the chelsea academy. Okay Over the last six months that has been A bit too much for him the pressure Um trying to keep up with things but he is part of a local west straighten Football club. He loves playing tournaments. He's very competitive And uh, it's very skillful too. So I think that's where his talent will lie He's doing quite well at school. Yeah, he's not going to be one of your academics But that doesn't matter no provided he's happy. Yeah So i'm still not sure it may julie's teenage years Uh develop something is very good at acting as well. Okay. I think performing arts is great for our kids singing dancing acting Absolutely. He had a prime position in uh, shakespeare play macbeth where he had a solo Um singing to do but i'm not sure he'll do that now because he's getting very aware of his Um his being okay, so he gets quite embarrassed Yeah, we had a young man that um was at west london community college and they um did a few plays And he used to stand at the side and he memorized every body's part So if they forgot he was there and he didn't need the script or anything. It was just all in his head Absolutely. That's exactly what my grandson does You know, he knows uh thousands of songs word for word and I think how on earth does he remember that? And I think he might be um a lawyer because he's very good at arguing. Yeah, that's good But who knows, you know, we just want him to be happy We just want our kids to be given the opportunity and to make the small reasonable adjustments that they need to be enabled them To get through each day. Well, can you sing your sons? Where have they got any interests? What are they interested in? They've just taken up football. Um, fair enough. Um Malus actually got um, that's my nine-year-old. He actually got um Play of the day. Wow. I'm not sure if it was for his football in or was more his commentary but Yeah, they They've taken that up. Um Again, I think acting could be possible for a couple of them. Um, A couple of them for both of them because they're both um Like playing up a little bit and although malus you know when it's lying and stuff like that But um, so he's not a very good actor, but they they like to um perform shall we say? Yeah Um, so at this present time, I don't know what the future holds for them. But I I will Endeavor to try and make it a great future for him. Whatever it is. What about your eldest son of being work? He's Currently he's just started a job now. Um, but he's um Been in and out not in and out of education, but he's um He's just finished. So he's having a break from uh studies in Holland, um, they've been invited to a uh dutch university. Okay, um doing pure maths and all sorts of um It's very educated boy He he did the same sort of thing as me when I was at school But I chose to work and he chose education where he basically left school before it was His time but he self-educated himself at home past all his a levels past all his a levels and then got invited to um universities and even was a Mentor at brunel for a while. Yeah I've spoken to a few people actually recently that have been self-taught with their GCSEs and a levels because they just found that They just couldn't cope. Yeah within school. So tell me a little bit more about um Hillingdon dads and dads for dads and the hillingdon Is there anything that you want to share while you're on air at the minute to promote what you're doing? So what sort of things I believe you meet up once a month. I want yeah, I want to make it clear um, basically hillingdon dads, um is um Basically will be the charity name when we are given our charity status But the groups below it, um, the dads for dads group is as it is on a tin It's for dads. Um only that care for children with disabilities. Um, we have the weekly gatherings um Join us find out when that is um, and I gave out the contact details and I'll pass them on anyway for afterwards Also just to add that the care support group runs events for all care so for parent for dads and moms We have the um send summer fun day the send birthday party the send um easter fun day the send Halloween party and the hd Santa's grotto and christmas market as well as the regular Um month free saturday droppings which is held on a second saturday of the month opposite hendham manas senior school in mowcroft complex on harlington road Actually, it's ub 8 free hd. So that's at the main cap building and the main cap Yeah, so i've been to a couple of those and obviously parents come along with their children and they can have a chat They can have a cup of tea or a coffee and they can check on their children. Um, you know doing some of the activities It's just relaxation because I i've had a couple of parents who contacted me saying we're feeling a bit isolated We want to talk to someone so i've pointed them in your direction. So hopefully they've come along So I just wanted to say thank you to both of you for coming along Uh for speaking to me for sharing and also I hope that we can still um be in collaboration with lots of other events And we can support each other because that's what it's about Um, if people are interested again, just to remind them if they want to ask questions We will be sharing an article about what's been happening today and what we've been speaking about with all the links So don't worry if you've missed them. And again, if you want to be a speaker, it's www.anna kennedy online.com just contact me and we can book you in I'm quite booked up well in advance at the moment, but please contact me and we can slot you in So thank you again, uh for supporting women's well-being and for doing what you do and giving up your valuable time. Thank you Welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's well-being Women's radio station is all about diversity from opinions career ethnicity Education and most importantly women's well-being We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere providing opportunities and the platform for your voice Visit our website women's radio station.com for more information Hi, i'm liz van linden a uk travel consultant for hazel may travel People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators You can contact me on 07825 44 12 12 and liz spelled lis at hazelmaytravel.co.uk I'm tamila zaman founder of empower and enrich when it comes to money. Do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don't know where to start At empower and enrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances And learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy affordable way Get in touch with me at empower and enrich.org and let's change your future together Hi, i'm carolyn van biers. 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