All Things Autism – Bobby Latheron, My World in My Words

All Things Autism - Bobby Latheron, My World in My Words.mp3 ========================================= Speaker 2 00:00 - 00:24 Hello, this is Anna Kennedy. We're talking all things autism and we're live and we're at my home today, not in Covent Garden. It's a lovely sunny day and obviously these are uncertain times, so we're just taking it one day at a time. We have a message from our ambassador, KC Ainsworth, and she has written just a few notes on lockdown positives for her. Speaker 2 00:25 - 00:40 So she's saying she can spend days being herself. She's talking about her son now. He can spend his days being himself by that he doesn't have to conform to the social norms expected of him at school every day. He is more relaxed and less combative. Speaker 2 00:40 - 01:01 He has written his own timetable, less focused on exact time, no bells or whistles to shove him along. He doesn't have to organise himself so precisely for school, which creates considerable daily anxiety for him. thing takes place at home, everything is here already. There is no moving from class to class, no noise, no overstimulation. Speaker 2 01:01 - 01:20 He can play online with his friends and he doesn't have to deal with having people in his space or his face and he still play communicate, mostly shout. So if you want to read the rest of the article, it's on the charity website. We have some of our ambassadors who've created videos, who've created articles. So check out the charity website. Speaker 2 01:20 - 01:42 It's www.annakennedyonline.com. If you want to follow us on social media, we're Anna Kennedy Online on Facebook. We're at Anna Kennedy One on Twitter and Anna Kennedy OBE on Instagram. What I'm doing at the minute is we're sharing Lots of our Autism's Got Talent performers, singing, dancing, you name it. Speaker 2 01:42 - 01:56 So check us out. They are totally amazing. We were supposed to be doing 10 year celebration for chats, but we've had to postpone it, obviously, because of the coronavirus. And we were going to do Autism's Got Talent in June at the Mermaid Theatre. Speaker 2 01:57 - 02:10 But what we're doing now is we're going to try and do some stuff online. We're doing workshops online with Paul Isaacs. who's one of our consultants. So if you'd like to check on what the charity's doing, again, please check out the charity website. Speaker 2 02:11 - 02:18 My guest today is Bobby Latherton. And Bobby is from my hometown in Middlesbrough. Hello, Bobby. Hello. Speaker 2 02:19 - 02:23 How are you? OK, you? I'm OK, thank you. So how is Middlesbrough? Speaker 2 02:23 - 02:24 Is it very quiet? Speaker 3 02:25 - 02:28 It's very cold. And very quiet. Speaker 2 02:28 - 02:37 Are you there with your mom today? Are you sitting with your mom today? Can you hear me? Are you sitting with your mom today? Speaker 2 02:38 - 02:40 Oh, yes. Oh, hello, Angie. How are you? Speaker 1 02:41 - 02:42 Oh, hi, Anna. I'm fine, thanks. How are you? Speaker 2 02:43 - 03:00 Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you very much. Just taking it a day at a time. So, Bobby, tell me a little bit about yourself before we go into all the wonderful things that you're doing, like writing books or some of your songs that you've been doing and who you've been working with. Speaker 2 03:00 - 03:03 So let's start at the beginning. So were you born in Middlesbrough? Speaker 3 03:03 - 03:05 I was born in Scarborough. Speaker 2 03:06 - 03:09 Okay, so tell me a little bit about your background. Speaker 3 03:10 - 03:21 Well, I'm a very nice person. People say I'm very bubbly and I like drama. Speaker 2 03:24 - 03:26 And at what age were you diagnosed with autism? Speaker 3 03:27 - 03:29 I was ten. Speaker 2 03:30 - 03:30 Ten years old? Speaker 3 03:31 - 03:31 Yes. Speaker 2 03:32 - 03:36 Okay and how did you feel about going through the process and everything? Speaker 3 03:37 - 04:07 At the time I went to a mainstream school and it was really hard. I got bullied by the staff more than students really. It's all right and I just remembered like coming home and like I just didn't want to be here anymore and So, that's when my mum got me the diagnosis, really, when I was in secondary. Speaker 2 04:08 - 04:08 Okay. Speaker 3 04:10 - 05:04 But when I was in primary school, I know that I was different from the other kids because when I was in year 6, I was doing like year 3 to year 4 work. And even though I had friends and stuff, I was still on my own. Like, I had one-to-one help, where I went in secondary and you did poetry in front of a full exam, in front of everyone and I just had a meltdown and they didn't understand autism and I found it very difficult and stuff and so that's when... My mam always knew I had it, but like you have to get a diagnosis to go into like a special needs school. Speaker 2 05:05 - 05:07 Okay, so did you go to a special needs school? Speaker 3 05:07 - 05:11 Yes, I went to Beverley School. Speaker 2 05:11 - 05:17 Oh yes, I've heard of the Beverley School. I've never been to visit but I have heard of it. Didn't it used to be a school for the deaf as well? Speaker 3 05:17 - 05:31 Yes, that's correct. With Beverley School, I found it very nice. It was very safe there but it Again, I just didn't feel the work was pushing me too much. Speaker 2 05:31 - 05:32 Okay. Speaker 3 05:32 - 05:44 Like, I like to be pushed into something, but there were very lovely staff, better than my first school I went to, like my first mainstream. Speaker 2 05:44 - 05:46 How long did you stay there for? Speaker 3 05:46 - 05:54 My mainstream, I stayed for two years and then I think I stayed in Beverley about four years. Speaker 2 05:54 - 06:01 Okay, and what were your favourite topics? Well, sorry? What subjects did you like at school? Speaker 3 06:02 - 06:49 Well, in my first school I didn't like any of the subjects because, like I said, the teachers weren't really understanding with me and so the only subject I really loved was my drama because she was very lovely with me, she understood me and everything And I think that's why I love drama, like, because she was the only teacher that was really nice with me, basically was. But in Beverley School, I found it all nice, really. And I found the main teacher in Beverley School was very supportive, was Trevor. Speaker 3 06:49 - 07:09 He's been there for, well he just retired last year, but he's been there since when he was a deaf and dumb school, so a very long time. So have you got any brothers or sisters? Yes, I've got two sisters and one brother who's got ADHD. Speaker 2 07:09 - 07:15 Okay, and how do you get on all together then? Do you have a good deal? Speaker 3 07:16 - 07:44 me and my brother we do get along in some terms but then like we do clash sometimes because we're just two different people okay like all brothers i suppose yeah like he loves sports and i love driving and stuff so we've got nothing in common just that we're brothers really so i understand um you've written a book and i'm just going to read the Speaker 2 07:44 - 08:06 of the book. So it's what it's saying that you sent to me is I want you to step into my shoes and enjoy and understand the good, the bad and the hurdles I have overcome to make me the man I am today. I'm 24 years old, who lives with autism. The reason why I wrote this book is to let other people understand what autism is and what we go through on a day to day basis. Speaker 2 08:07 - 08:34 We have feelings like normal people, we think differently, and there are certain barriers we have to overcome, but enjoy fulfilled lives. I use creativity to express and process my feelings. I have produced an autobiography, song, lyrics, and a script, which are taken from both real life, personal experiences, and fiction by Bodhi Wobby Latherton. So how long did it take you to write your book, and when did you start thinking about it? Speaker 3 08:34 - 08:42 Oh, I think I started by thinking about it when I was in, have you heard of Esper College? Speaker 2 08:43 - 08:43 I have, yes. Speaker 3 08:44 - 09:04 Well, I went there in my place for three years and yet again, it was a lovely college but for the first two years I was the only student really and it was very difficult for me to understand that. Speaker 2 09:05 - 09:07 So you were the only student in the class? Speaker 3 09:07 - 09:09 Yeah because it's still a new thing. Speaker 2 09:11 - 09:16 So it was just a new organisation that had just opened at the time when you started? Speaker 3 09:16 - 09:39 Yeah and so even though I was still doing my maths and my English like in between I had nothing else to do. So I started thinking of writing this book about three years ago and then I didn't get it out until about two years after. Speaker 2 09:39 - 09:46 And how did you find writing it? Did you find it hard or did you find it therapeutic? Speaker 3 09:48 - 10:13 I found it really good because I have got Dilexia as well. Okay. I want people to understand that I've got Dilexia so in my book I kind of write things how I would say it as well like the spellings are different and stuff but that's how I spell things so that's how I want it to be I totally get that. Speaker 2 10:14 - 10:18 Did you get any help from your mum? Like did she give you any feedback? Speaker 3 10:19 - 10:44 Yeah like there was lots of feedback from everyone like I've got very teachers and arts and maths people, my family At the beginning I wanted to do it on my own really to say, you know, to prove something that I can do it on my own. Yeah. And then tell my family when my book was actually out. Okay. Speaker 3 10:45 - 10:52 I had a lot of help of my teachers because just to like put everything together and stuff like that really. Speaker 2 10:53 - 10:55 Yeah. So how did it feel when you held it in your hand, the book, Speaker 3 10:56 - 11:11 Oh I loved it, it was like a dream come true really because like with being told like from school I wouldn't go anywhere and just to say that I can actually go to places and achieve things. Speaker 2 11:13 - 11:19 So if people are interested and they might like to read your book where can they find it? Where would they be able to find it? Speaker 3 11:19 - 11:26 They can find it on Amazon or they can find it on Waterstones but only online. Speaker 2 11:26 - 11:28 Okay and what's the title? Speaker 3 11:29 - 11:34 The title is My World in My Words by Bobbie Latheran. Speaker 2 11:35 - 11:50 Okay I'll just spell it just in case people looking on Amazon. So it's Bobbie and Latheran spells L-A-T-H-E-R-O-N. So it's available on Amazon online and it's also available in Waterstones. So how long has it been out now? Speaker 3 11:52 - 11:59 It's been out for about, I would say about five months now. It's still like a new book and stuff. Speaker 2 12:00 - 12:03 And have you had any feedback? Speaker 3 12:04 - 12:33 Yes, I've got loads of feedback and stuff, but I would like my books to be in more of the shops and waterstones, like that's my next target really, and maybe with your help as well if you can do that. at the minute it's only in Maitre Sport because it is my own hometown, but my book company is in London. Speaker 2 12:33 - 12:35 Okay, what's the publisher? Speaker 3 12:37 - 12:44 It's by New Generation Publishing. Speaker 2 12:45 - 12:48 Okay, so do you think you might like to write another book Speaker 3 12:49 - 12:51 I have a minute, I am writing another book. Speaker 2 12:52 - 12:53 Oh wow, so you're keeping busy then? Speaker 3 12:53 - 12:57 Yeah, and so with the new book, it's more different to this book. Speaker 2 12:58 - 12:58 Okay. Speaker 3 12:58 - 13:09 But it's, but my book, it's very helpful for people with parents to understand what autism is and people with autism to understand. Speaker 2 13:11 - 13:21 So that's your main goal then? So what, basically what you want to do is you've written this book because you want to help parents and also to help adults like yourself. Is that what you want to achieve? Speaker 3 13:21 - 13:28 Yeah, like, I know I've been, like, I look at, you know, Paddy McGuinness's wife. Speaker 2 13:28 - 13:29 Oh yes, Christine. Speaker 3 13:29 - 13:40 Yeah, like, I've seen her on, like, TV interviews and stuff and, like, I want to help people, like, celebrities to understand what my book is about as well. Speaker 2 13:41 - 13:43 Okay, so you want to spread the word? Speaker 3 13:44 - 13:46 Yeah, pretty much, yeah. That's what I want to do. Speaker 2 13:46 - 13:51 So, would you mind reading a little section out of your book if you don't mind? Yeah, I'll do it now. Speaker 3 13:53 - 14:22 So, it's on page 2 and it's on the beginning of the page. I think I am a very nice person. Sometimes it's hard to say what I want to say because I don't want people to unlike me and that I let people get away with so much because I'm just a nice person. I know I don't believe in what I want to do because of my old skills and stuff. Speaker 3 14:24 - 15:00 I always want to be a helping person, but then you get let down. But from now on, I just know to think about myself before putting people first. Because I think if you are 50-50, then yes, then you both can work together. Also, I am bubbly to people and sometimes it's hard for me to be in a relationship but don't want to say anything private about my life because it's private between me, myself and I. Speaker 3 15:00 - 15:05 I know one day I will have a nice person in my life one day. Speaker 2 15:05 - 15:20 Oh lovely. So Angie, listening to your son reading, that's obviously the front page of this book, how did you feel when he finally achieved the book and he had it in his hands and you were looking at it, you were reading it, were you very proud of him? Speaker 1 15:21 - 15:45 Oh very proud, we always are because he always does his best in everything. He finds it really difficult but yeah we were so proud of him so we've tried to push the book for him and we support him in every way with it and Esper helped him a lot with his book. The teachers in Esper, they helped him a lot with his book. But yeah, we're always very proud of him. Speaker 1 15:46 - 15:47 He's done really well. Yeah. Speaker 2 15:47 - 16:11 So I believe you're part of Autism Matters. Can you tell me a little bit about how they benefited your family and how they benefit others? Because obviously I'm always promoting smaller charities because I feel that they're the backbone of society. I know there's the bigger charities, but I think some recognition should be given to smaller charities, so how do you feel that Autism Matters supported you and your family? Speaker 1 16:12 - 16:56 They've supported me right the way through, they've given us like a lifeline really because it gives me a little bit of respite and it also gives Bobby a social life and all the other adults that go to it as well with autism and Asperger's syndrome. and so yeah they've really kind of they've saved our bacon really you know it's helped us so much and they also encourage you know the young men and women with autism and aspergers syndrome yeah they can fit into society so and as the grown-up as well they don't want to spend like lots of time going out with the parents so it's like their social life really so they've helped a lot Speaker 2 16:57 - 17:01 So if somebody's listening in, where are they based and where can they find their website? Speaker 1 17:01 - 17:16 Yeah, they're on Facebook, Autism Matters and Autism Angels as well, which teaches them to do things around the house and outside the house. And also they're based in Stockton. Speaker 2 17:17 - 17:18 OK, yeah, I know Stockton. Speaker 1 17:18 - 17:19 Yeah. Speaker 2 17:19 - 17:24 So, I bet it's very quiet around there at the minute because of the coronavirus, is it? Speaker 1 17:25 - 17:27 Yeah, it is. Speaker 2 17:27 - 17:33 What sort of things are you doing whilst you're at home? What's motivating you, Bobbie, as well? Speaker 3 17:34 - 17:50 Me? My book, my new book, really, because it's doing more things for me to write more in it while I'm off. I do like going online from Facebook to make people entertainment with my karaoke. Speaker 2 17:52 - 17:53 So what songs do you sing on karaoke? Speaker 3 17:54 - 18:08 Basically like power ballads like Celine Dion, Meat Love, stuff like that really. I'm not a singer or anything but it's just for fun. Speaker 2 18:08 - 18:10 Yeah, as long as you enjoy it, that's what matters. Speaker 3 18:10 - 18:12 Yeah, pin him out. Speaker 2 18:13 - 18:18 So if people want to check you out on Facebook or any social media channels, where can they find you? Speaker 3 18:18 - 18:31 Yes, my Facebook page is Bobby Lathering. Okay. But I have got my own book, my music page under Diva Records North East. Speaker 2 18:32 - 18:35 Diva Records North East, so what made you give it that title? Speaker 3 18:35 - 18:46 Well people do call me a diva so basically I just thought of that and then my music and then the place I live really Speaker 2 18:46 - 18:48 So is that right then Angie, is he a diva? Speaker 1 18:48 - 18:53 Oh very much so yeah, he's a drama queen and a diva. Speaker 2 18:53 - 19:06 Yeah he really is. So do you think Bobby that there's a lot of development to be made that's supporting people with autism within the UK? Do you think the UK is doing a good job or do you think that we can improve? Speaker 3 19:07 - 19:36 I really do yeah, I think they have improved but again mainstream schools don't still understand about people with special needs or autism and stuff. And I want to give a chance with them by putting people with autism into a smaller group. I am working with Anna Taylor, like... And who's Anna? Speaker 3 19:37 - 19:40 Anna Taylor is the woman who owns Autism Matters. Speaker 2 19:41 - 19:41 Okay. Speaker 3 19:42 - 20:06 So I'm working with her one-to-one on a Monday, one-to-four night in my budget. I want to go around the mainstream schools and I want to go to schools to talk about my book and hopefully to tell mainstream schools if they can put people with autism in a smaller group because they can't cope with a big crowd. Speaker 2 20:07 - 20:23 Okay. So how did you find it at school, as in, because we did a campaign called Give Us a Break and a lot of children and students tend to get bullied at break times, which obviously is the more social time. So how did you find break times when you were at school? Speaker 3 20:25 - 20:44 In my major in school, I found it very hard. There was, like, again, lots of bullying going around. But yet again, like, it was some of the students, but I found it in my, in their staff really because they don't understand autism and special needs really. Speaker 2 20:45 - 20:47 So you think there needs to be more training? Speaker 3 20:47 - 20:55 Yes, there needs to be more training and I want to do more training in schools like in mainstream schools if I can. Speaker 2 20:55 - 21:07 So if you were to go into a school and you were going to do, I know you're working with Anna at the moment to do your talks, so when would you do those talks? Would there be an assembly? Have you got any plans of Speaker 3 21:08 - 21:18 Well, I've got one booked in, but it depends, but it's all with the, you know, coronavirus, it might be getting worse now. Speaker 2 21:18 - 21:19 Oh yeah, everything's put on hold, isn't it? Speaker 3 21:19 - 21:27 I was booked in at Bethlehem School, to be honest, to give a speech on, about my book and arts and really... Oh, okay. Speaker 2 21:27 - 21:30 How, as to how you feel about going back there, obviously, because you've learnt... Speaker 3 21:31 - 21:53 I love the school, like, I wouldn't mind for my My most achievement would be going back to like my mainstream school because I do want to help people who have got autism in the school because I don't want people to be in the same show that I was in to be honest. Speaker 2 21:54 - 22:10 Okay, something else that you asked me that you'd like to chat about was about encouraging relationships such as romantic and friends. So do you think that Autism Matters, the support group, can help you with that goal that you would like to achieve? Speaker 3 22:10 - 22:28 Yes, I think they really are, like, definitely, like, they understand about relationships and just about your sexuality as well, really. And it's very nice they don't judge you on that. OK. You know, so... Speaker 2 22:29 - 22:34 Talk to me a little bit about your music, then. You like to write songs, I believe. Speaker 3 22:35 - 23:03 Yeah, well, about three years ago, my sister got me some singing lessons. So the day before I went for my singing lesson, I went out with Odyssey Matters for a meal. And Lynne and Leanne said, oh, I'm sure that's where Carl Pepperton is, from Genocide. And I was like, no, what would he be doing here? Speaker 3 23:03 - 23:29 Because, like, he's got his own albums out and stuff with his brother. So when the day came, my brother took me and he lives in this massive house and he's got this studio connected to his house. So I walked in and there was pictures of, like, Journey South. So I was like, are you Journey South by any chance? Speaker 2 23:29 - 23:30 He was like, oh, yes. Speaker 3 23:31 - 23:49 And then I was like, well, I'm not singing in front of you because I can't sing. So I decided to write songs. So I'm just still new at it, but I've got four songs out. And with me, with my autism, I like to keep my emotions to myself. Speaker 3 23:49 - 23:56 I don't really like to tell people. So I write them in a song instead, really. Speaker 2 23:57 - 24:00 OK, have you got any words to your song that you could read out to us? Speaker 3 24:01 - 24:03 Not really, not on me. Speaker 2 24:03 - 24:07 OK, but if someone wants to check them out, is it on your Facebook? Speaker 3 24:08 - 24:16 It's on my Facebook, but also it's on like Spotify and iTunes and Google Music and stuff like that. Speaker 2 24:17 - 24:19 OK, and do you know, can you remember the titles of them? Speaker 3 24:19 - 24:33 Yes, one of them is called Happy Ending. OK. One's called Nobody Knows. Bubblegum and I've just released one called Show Me Love. Speaker 2 24:34 - 24:58 I remember Bubblegum because you shared it with me when you first made contact with me and now I remember that song. So, yeah, you're definitely in your comfort zone when you're singing. You can see you really love it and you really, it's just like, it's something that you love to do. So, would you recommend that even if people say, for example, are not brilliant at singing, would you recommend that they try something like that? Speaker 3 24:59 - 25:43 Yeah, like with me, I'll never stop singing, but I, like, now I want to be more of a songwriter, really, than a singer. Because I love it and It makes me happy, like, because when I was down, and when I used to be, like, talk about suicide, the only thing that was helping me to be alright was Adele, like, because I love her songs, they're very open about relationships and about her past, and she inspires me, really, and that's when I decided to write my own songs. I love health. Speaker 3 25:43 - 25:46 So, Nobody Knows, it's about mental health. Speaker 2 25:47 - 25:47 Okay. Speaker 3 25:48 - 25:52 And I wrote one about the Manchester bombing. Speaker 2 25:52 - 25:54 Okay, so why that then? Why the Manchester bombing? Speaker 3 25:55 - 26:28 Because when the flats were on fire, I think London, people did a charity song for that. I don't think nobody did a charity song for the Manchester bombing. So I decided to write one and I am at the minute trying to give it to that charity. So I'm hoping to ring them when this is all done, really. Speaker 2 26:29 - 26:36 Yeah, maybe you could write a song about going through the coronavirus as well, because obviously... Yeah, I'm going through it now. Speaker 3 26:36 - 27:06 And, well, my new song, what I did a little bit of with Carl, it's gonna be about autism people. And I'm giving it, when the song's finished, I am giving it to Autism Matters because they have helped me so much in my life for the last seven years I've been with them. And it's just something nice to give back as well, really. Speaker 2 27:06 - 27:26 Most definitely. I met Carl when we did Autism's Got Talent in Teesside. It was a few years ago when I received a Doctorate of Professional Achievement from Teesside University and I'm a patron to Daisy Chain there. And we were chatting about doing Autism's Got Talent at the university. Speaker 2 27:26 - 27:51 And then we also went back the following year to do it at the Arc in Stockton. So we made contact with Carl and he came along with his wife. Oh she's lovely. She is and he sang on stage with his guitar and then he spoke to quite a few of the performers and was giving them motivating speeches and it was just such a lovely event so I have met him and he's a really nice guy so I think you're Speaker 2 27:51 - 27:53 in good hands there if you're working with Carl. Speaker 3 27:54 - 27:57 Yeah actually I went to Data Chain actually. Speaker 2 27:58 - 27:58 Oh did you? Speaker 3 27:59 - 28:02 Yeah I went for about two years. Speaker 2 28:02 - 28:22 Yeah, I've been patron there, I think about five years now or maybe six. So I visit them because my parents still live in the North East and my sister. So I go to visit DHC chain as and when I can. And then also they have an event at the end of the year where they raise money for the charity. Speaker 2 28:22 - 28:58 So I go along with my mom and I give a talk. So yeah, they work very hard and they It was sad really that the lady basically who set it up, who's the founder, obviously it was her dream but then sadly she died just before it opened so she never ever got to see her dream come to fruition but her friend Judith basically ran it for 15 years just to make sure that everything was running smoothly and it developed as it should be. So now it's huge, obviously they've got their shop, they've got the farm, they've got an animal sanctuary, I believe, there. Speaker 2 28:58 - 29:07 So they've done fantastic work. So now, yeah, hopefully when all this flows over, I'll go and visit them again. OK. Yeah. Speaker 2 29:07 - 29:23 So has any of your songs inspired by autism life expectancy? Is this something else that you wanted to chat to me about? Yeah. So So, what's inspired you? Speaker 2 29:23 - 29:27 You talked a little bit about it. So, what's inspired you to write some of your songs? Speaker 3 29:28 - 29:49 Basically, I've had my songs for people to feel my music, really. And if they've got the same... Like, if they've been in a bad relationship or if they've been feeling down. And I want people to understand about myself as well and my life, basically. Speaker 3 29:50 - 29:57 And I want to be a bit like Adele, you know how she touches people and stuff like that. Basically, I want to be like that. Speaker 2 29:58 - 30:10 So you know when you do like the words, do you get, like sometimes do you wake up in the middle of the night and think of some, oh that's a good, that's a few good things I need to write that down or do you get ideas like when you're doing certain things and they just pop in your head? Speaker 3 30:11 - 30:25 I just get ideas really from my head, really. Like sometimes I do sleep on it. I listen to some other songs and I'm like, oh, I like that, you know, or I like that and make it into my own songs, really. So, yeah. Speaker 2 30:25 - 30:26 OK. What about you? Are you a singer? Speaker 3 30:28 - 30:30 I won't say I'm a singer, no. Speaker 2 30:30 - 30:33 No, I'm talking to your mum now, just saying she's a singer. Speaker 1 30:34 - 30:34 Sorry? Speaker 2 30:35 - 30:36 I said, Angie, do you sing? Speaker 1 30:37 - 30:41 No, not at all. We just wear the earmuffs when Bobby sings. Speaker 2 30:43 - 30:47 Did he help you with any of the words, like, you know, to give him ideas as well? Speaker 1 30:47 - 31:13 We try to, sometimes we do, you know, if he asks us what do we think about it or how can we change them and that, but he's done mainly it all on his own with Carl, writing his songs. It's something he really enjoys as well and he was in performing arts for two years over at Stockton College as well, after back in school. So he is quite expressional. So, you know, as I said, a proper drama queen. Speaker 1 31:13 - 31:24 So, yeah, so he does, he loves to write and make things up. And like I say, he puts his own emotions into them in total. Speaker 2 31:24 - 31:31 Brilliant. So I understand Bobby was telling me yesterday, because we were having a little chat yesterday, that you work for the NHS. Is that right? I do, yes. Speaker 2 31:31 - 31:36 So how are you coping with it all? Just every day is different. Speaker 1 31:36 - 31:48 At the moment, I really admire the people over at James Cook, the nurses and the doctors and everyone's just pulling together. So we can go in on a morning and an hour later, our job can be totally different. Speaker 2 31:49 - 31:51 So what type of things have you been doing? Speaker 1 31:52 - 32:17 Well, I'm a phlebotomist and cannulist. So a lot of the wards now have been closed, like the North Tower has been closed just for people to come in who's got the coronavirus. So that's specialist care. So we're just going on the south looking to see, you know, how we can help out there, you know, and maybe in a week or two it'll be all hands on deck type of thing. Speaker 1 32:17 - 32:34 It's really strange because James Cook has got most of the patients out of the hospital that they could possibly get out. So it's quite quiet at the moment. So you feel a bit on edge really. But yeah, everybody's just working together really well. Speaker 2 32:35 - 32:44 Yeah, but it's just, I suppose, taking it a day at a time, really. So have you got any tips for people listening in, you know, about things? Obviously, washing hands is important. Speaker 1 32:44 - 32:56 Yeah, just stay at home as much as you can. Take the advice that's been given. And yeah, enjoy the family time that you've been wishing that you could have, really. Yeah. Speaker 1 32:56 - 32:58 You know, just stay positive. Speaker 2 32:59 - 33:13 Yeah, that's what I say, and I always say to people, try and keep to some sort of routine for families that are at home. So, you know, get yourself up, get yourself washed, get yourself dressed. Even if you put a little bit of makeup on, even if you're not going anywhere, it makes you feel better. Speaker 1 33:13 - 33:45 It makes you feel a little bit better, doesn't it? That's all we've been doing, trying to keep to a routine. The boys are not that happy because I'm learning them actually how to clean up and polish and do the bedrooms, but it's just keeping them going. yeah so yeah I've spoken to quite a few autistic adults that finding it difficult and the reason being is some of them might volunteer in shops and now they can't go there so obviously their routine yeah it's it's the world I mean over at our canteen in James Speaker 1 33:45 - 34:16 Cook there's a lot of voluntary people with autism and Asperger's syndrome when yeah there's quite a lot and then when they told them that they had to stay at home. They were just so upset, crying, and so they were just gutted because it's their lifeline. And they said that when everything's okay, James Cook is going to do a party for these volunteers, you know, to show that they are really appreciated because they do really help, you know, and that, and it's just so lovely. Speaker 2 34:17 - 34:32 Yeah, my son works and he was sent home today because he's got a persistent cough. So he's isolated in his room. And then my other youngest son, Angelo, he's quite profoundly affected by his autism. He's not very well either. Speaker 2 34:32 - 34:38 And he's also been suffering with toothache. So it's a bit of a juggle at home at the moment. Speaker 1 34:38 - 34:41 So thank you. Speaker 2 34:41 - 35:05 Back to you, Bobby. Thanks. Back to you, Bobby. you wanted to tell me as well the difference between yourself and your brother because obviously your brother's got ADHD you've got autism and you wanted to share how different you are from each other yeah well um like i said he's like it's like chalk and cheese really like Speaker 2 35:06 - 35:14 okay he works in like ballantine in okay in corbis gym it's um a pt okay Speaker 3 35:15 - 35:31 like, because when he was a baby, he was very, very hyper. You couldn't tell him to sit still. He would just run and run and run. And when I was a baby, I was very laid back. Speaker 2 35:31 - 35:32 Okay. Speaker 3 35:32 - 35:37 And I wasn't, like, I didn't start to talk till I was about four or five. Speaker 2 35:38 - 35:38 Right. Speaker 3 35:39 - 35:42 And I didn't walk till I was about at least six. Speaker 2 35:43 - 35:43 Okay. Speaker 3 35:44 - 36:11 So, it It does take me a while to, like, walk quite a lot and stuff. And so with Dario, to get all of his energy out, that's what he does, like, PTs and, like, at the minute, because we are stuck in the house, he gets very angry because it's not a routine for Dario, where Dario will be more at work than at home. Speaker 2 36:12 - 36:16 Maybe he could set up some sort of circuitry out in the garden or something? Speaker 3 36:16 - 36:27 Well he's doing that, he does live, he's just been on live today and stuff like that. He's doing daily basics really, exercise blocks. Speaker 2 36:28 - 37:12 Oh that's good, you know what a lot of people on Facebook are looking for stuff like obviously Joe Wicks is really popular, I think he's got something like 1.3 million people that watch him at 9 o'clock every morning. People that are searching for things to do at home, so whether it's dance, whether it's circuit training, whether it's singing, whatever it is, they're just looking for stuff to do to obviously pad out their day because they don't want to be, the last thing you want to be doing is watching the news all the time because you just depress yourself. So I think the best thing to do, we just like watch it in the morning, maybe watch it in the evening and then maybe catch up on films as well that you might not have seen or I'm working on social media or I'm chatting to people or chatting Speaker 2 37:12 - 37:46 to my friends so it's just doing things that you wouldn't normally do so yeah I think definitely should try and keep a routine for people that are listening in so you know get yourself up, washed, dressed, you want to put a bit of makeup on that's fine and then do a little bit of exercise. I do five minutes in the morning and five minutes in the evening and then just plan out your day for stuff to do and obviously good to go for a walk as well, get a bit of fresh air, social distancing, but it's good just to get that little bit of fresh air. Speaker 2 37:46 - 38:05 I was reading an article online and they were talking about checklists that you should have ready when you're staying at home. So they're saying, you know, food, do you have a way to get food delivered just in case you have to self isolate? I know it's difficult for people at the minute trying to get food deliveries. Cleaning, are your cleaning supplies stocked up? Speaker 2 38:06 - 38:24 Money, can you budget for any higher bills or expenses? Will you save money from lower transport costs that you could spend elsewhere? Medication, do you have enough medication or a way to get more? Like, for example, I have blood pressure medication, so I need to make sure that my blood pressure medication, I had enough of it. Speaker 2 38:24 - 38:47 Health, can you reorganise any planned or therapy or treatments? Commitments, can someone else help you care for any dependents? Because I know there's a lot of people out there at the moment, they're worrying about their mothers or their grandparents, because obviously they've got to self isolate. Connectivity, have you checked the contact details of the people you see regularly, like their phone numbers or email addresses? Speaker 2 38:47 - 39:21 set up chat chat groups as well you know whatsapp groups so you can chat to each other routine can you create a routine or a timetable yourself like we were just talking about and if you live with other people would you create a household schedule like for jobs to do so that say one person doesn't have to do them all um do you need to agree how the household will run with everyone at home all day exercise we were just talking about nature, we'll talk about going for a walk or attending to the garden because we'll get sunny days at the minute and relax. So that was something I wanted to ask you Bobbie, what do you do to relax? Speaker 2 39:21 - 39:22 How would you relax? Speaker 3 39:22 - 39:31 Um I relax by you know writing my books, writing my music and karaoke again really. Speaker 2 39:32 - 39:36 Okay so what about you Angie, what do you do to relax? Speaker 3 39:36 - 39:39 Yeah good question. Speaker 1 39:39 - 39:57 Yeah, I tend to read a lot of books, you know, and, you know, just sometimes I do like to spend a little bit of time on my own to unwind, you know, especially now we're all in the house together. But I don't normally get a lot of time to relax, to be honest, so this is quite nice. Speaker 2 39:58 - 39:59 Yeah, what sort of books are you into? Speaker 1 40:00 - 40:09 Oh, murder mysteries and I only like true stories, so I only read it if it's a true story. So yeah, I love murder mysteries. Speaker 2 40:13 - 40:17 So how are you managing at home? How many of you are in the house? Speaker 1 40:17 - 40:55 Yeah, well, yeah, there's my partner and there's Dario and Bobby, but like he's explained, the chalk and cheese, because as you probably know, it's not always easy having someone with Asperger's and someone with autism. living under the same roof. So because Dario, his brother, is so fit and he had a back injury two weeks ago, so he'd already been on the sick for two weeks, so he was starting to get a bit of cabin fever. So he had two meltdowns, so it was like Keeping them a little bit separate, that's a good idea sometimes. Speaker 1 40:56 - 41:19 And just keeping them really organized, like Bobby's obviously a lot laid back than Dario, so I suggested to Dario to do this exercise blog three times a day. So that's keeping him nice and busy. So it's emptied my back room out completely. So the living room looks like a bombshell. Speaker 1 41:19 - 41:58 And with Bobby, sort of bringing him downstairs, because he does spend a lot of time in his room, so bringing him downstairs with the family for his food and his meals and, you know, to socialise a little bit. And then also allowing him his time still on his own to do his karaoke and, you know, whatever he really wants to do. Because he is used, Bobby is used to going out maybe three times a week with Autism Matters. and they like to FaceTime each other and talk to each other so giving them the space as well, you know, so it is hard but we're managing at the moment. Speaker 2 41:58 - 42:12 Okay, can I ask you about, because I'm always interested in diagnosis and how long it takes for people to get diagnosis, so can you remember the process you went through when you were going through the process with Bobby and what is it like now in Middlesbrough? Speaker 1 42:13 - 42:46 It's more difficult now in Middlesbrough. At the time, I didn't feel I needed a diagnosis because I already knew that Bobby had autism because I knew he was different than Dario, but it's very similar. So I didn't feel it necessary to have a diagnosis and it was going to put us through a lot and I was already busy with my two daughters and Dario as well. But then when you went to mainstream school, I had to have a diagnosis in order to get him out of mainstream school because he was really struggling. Speaker 2 42:47 - 42:49 So how long did you have to wait? Speaker 1 42:50 - 43:32 I had CAMHS involved, it was almost a year, about a year, and that was involving CAMHS and then a doctor called Dr Helen Pearce. She spent about six months with Bobby and knowing Bobby before she actually diagnosed him because she knew the importance of the diagnosis because if they get it wrong then this person's labelled for the rest of their life. So it is a long process and I believe now because of the situation with CAMHS and different associations that you need, it's even more difficult. And I don't think they like to diagnose anybody before they're around about seven or eight anyway. Speaker 1 43:32 - 43:56 So he got his diagnosis and that allowed us to take him out of the secondary school that he was in and to put him in Beverley School, which was so much better. Although there was different severities of autism, which Bobby found difficult, when he was in his classroom, it was a safe and happy place for Bobby. So he really, he was in a good place then. Speaker 2 43:56 - 44:23 Yeah. Okay. all right so thank you for sharing that with me because i spoke to a consultant psychologist when was it a few years ago and they were they told me at that time that um they would only allow to diagnose people half a day a week because um they were just so limited they didn't have enough staff so i thought half a day a week your list must be as long as you're old but nothing no it's not enough it's nothing Yeah, so I'm not sure if it's still like that now. Speaker 1 44:24 - 44:43 I think it is. I think it's really difficult for people now. Like I said, it took Helen Pearce who came to my house and took Bobby out, spent a lot of time with Bobby to get to know Bobby in his ways, get to know us as a family as well before she would actually diagnose him with it. Okay. Speaker 1 44:43 - 44:51 Yeah, but I do know some people who are really struggling now to get their children diagnosed, even though know that it is autism. Speaker 2 44:51 - 45:02 Because everything's been put on the back burner now because of what's going on within the world and the coronavirus because they're saying even operations like small operations you know they've been cancelled. Speaker 1 45:02 - 45:03 Everything's been cancelled. Speaker 2 45:04 - 45:44 Yeah so it must be very frustrating for so many people and also an uncertain time so we've just got to take it a day at a time really see how we how we all go. It is yeah The other thing I just wanted to share with people listening in that hopefully we'll be able to do our Autism Hero Awards in November. Hopefully it will all be awarded. If people would like to nominate someone that goes the extra mile if you check out the charity website it's www.annakennedyonline.com and there's a section called the Autism Hero Awards and there's 12 different sections So if you would like to check that out, if you're listening in and you Speaker 2 45:44 - 46:13 want to nominate someone, so it could be a teacher, it could be a parent, it could be a professional, it could be a reporter that writes particularly well, it could be an individual, someone like Bobby might like to nominate Bobby. So we get hundreds and hundreds of nominations in, but it's still open until September. The first week in September is when all the nominations close. So if you check it out, nominate someone and send in about 500 words to us with a picture if you have it. Speaker 2 46:13 - 46:22 And then the judges have the difficult choice. There's seven of them. They have to read through all of the nominations. I wouldn't like to have that job. Speaker 2 46:22 - 47:10 And they find it so hard to choose three finalists from particular section so once they've chosen three finalists then all 36 finalists will travel down to London to the Chelsea Harbour Hotel and then on the night, it's such a special night, lots of tears and they basically find out who's the winner of the night and then I have two that I choose which is my category so I choose what's called a special recognition award so I check out and looking at people all the time throughout the year and I choose someone who I feel that deserves my special recognition award. Last year it was a lady called Leo Andrade who basically was fighting to get her son out of a mental health unit in hospital. Speaker 2 47:10 - 47:38 He'd been in there for months and months and months and she finally got him out there and now he's living in a home with carers. Small steps but he's doing well and then I choose someone from my own charity as in a volunteer of the year So yeah, it's such a lovely evening. So that will be happening in November. So just to remind you, September is the first week that it's the closing date and it's all on the Autism Hero Awards charity website. Speaker 2 47:38 - 47:50 You can see past winners on there. You can see past highlight videos. You can get a flavour of what's going on. So again, we will be doing workshops online on Anna Kennedy online. Speaker 2 47:50 - 48:15 Isaacs who's one of our consultants, he's a speaker, he's a consultant, he's a blogger, he's co-authored several books, included Life Through the Kaleidoscope, so he's going to be doing workshops and we're going to be doing lots of different workshops so keep checking out on the charity website and the workshops are free so you can book yourself on and join us and ask questions of anything that you might like to ask. So Bobby, Speaker 3 48:16 - 49:26 yeah would you mind reading me and just another little bit of your book if you don't mind yeah um i'll just look for one something like one of your favorite bits yeah so um i asked someone and i said do you think it's easy for people with autism to get a job right this is what they've said no it's not easy for people to have a job with autism because they think oh they need extra help, so they don't even bother to give you a job, which I think it is unfair. Yes, I do think people with more autism people need to one-to-one, but people like you who have got mild autism, they need to think of those people who want to work and not because of the autism, because there are some people who are intelligent and talented and brilliant but they have public scare and I think it should not be a bother if they are because even normal people get scared. Speaker 2 49:27 - 49:34 Aw, thank you for that. So what's your ideal job? So if someone were to say to you, I'm going to give you a job, what job would you like to do? Speaker 3 49:35 - 49:48 Well, my real job would either be a songwriter or an author really, like for people to like follow my page and stuff like that. Speaker 2 49:48 - 49:57 Ok, so you want to create more books, you want to write more music. Have you got your own website or is it a blog? Speaker 3 49:58 - 50:06 It's on Facebook, it's just a page on Facebook and I'm also on Instagram as well. Speaker 2 50:07 - 50:08 So do you update daily? Speaker 3 50:09 - 50:34 Yes, I update things daily, like my music, or my book, or something like that. At the minute, I am at Project Choice. And that is for people with autism. So what they do is, they put you in jobs for a full year, with three different projects to do. Speaker 3 50:34 - 50:40 So at the minute, I was at Debenhams, but with the whole coronavirus and stuff. Speaker 2 50:41 - 50:43 Okay. Did you start at Debenhams? Speaker 3 50:45 - 50:51 Yes, I started. I was there about 12 weeks. How was it? I really enjoyed it. Speaker 3 50:52 - 51:01 I was packing delivery up and I put things on the right area where they need to go. Speaker 2 51:02 - 51:02 Okay. Speaker 3 51:03 - 51:05 All the staff was so lovely. Speaker 2 51:05 - 51:06 Oh, that's nice. Speaker 3 51:06 - 51:34 Naomi was really lovely, Shelley, and just the whole team are just lovely. But with Project Choice, because of my age, I won't be able to go back. And it's just a shame because I never got my full year. So really, I've basically left now and Speaker 2 51:35 - 52:05 with no job or anything but you might when when this is all over you might be able to apply for a job there or even um sometimes you can get part-time jobs or you you know what the thing is you never give in so they've already met out they know what you can do so i if i was you once once this is all over um if you if that's what you want to do obviously um Speaker 3 52:06 - 52:50 So, I might even go back to Jim's Cook and ask for 16 hours because I did work at Jim's Cook, volunteer at, it was therapeutic care where people would go in and speak to the Pooley people. But the apprenticeship, the only thing was, it was 30 hours. I can't do 30 hours, you know, because if I go over, I might get my stuff taken off me or like arts and matters and I won't have time for my music, my books. Speaker 2 52:50 - 52:58 Do you want to try and fit everything in? Yeah, so maybe like 16 hours would be amazing. Have you ever done any other work experience? Speaker 3 52:59 - 53:44 Um, yeah, I did, um, like, I did Marie Curie for a bit, like, in the shops, and I did, um, just worked on the tills because I do like to work on tills as well, so I wouldn't mind doing, like, a Tesco job, like, part-time, or a food shop part-time neither, but it's so hard when you're trying to do an interview, and, you know, do it all together and I'm just like, oh, what to do? Oh, the hospital again, because my mum works there, my auntie works on the ambulances, and my uncle works on the heart, so it would be amazing if I can get a part-time job. Speaker 2 53:45 - 54:15 Yeah, I was just recently at James Court because I went to visit my mum and dad, but on the way there, my dad was not well so he was rushed to hospital so I was at James Cook. He's okay now but they were great with him and everyone was so friendly and they couldn't do enough for him. My mother-in-law used to work at James Cook. She used to live in Middlesbrough but now she lives in London so I am quite familiar with James Cook. Speaker 2 54:15 - 54:25 I've been there a few times. So yeah, I didn't know that they basically had people on the spectrum there, so that's really good to hear. Do you know what type of jobs that they did? Speaker 3 54:26 - 54:33 Well, I did it for therapeutic care and the woman is called Deborah. Speaker 2 54:35 - 54:36 Okay. Speaker 3 54:36 - 55:11 She's so lovely and she understood me with autism as well because if I ever did want to get an apprenticeship with Deborah, I'm hoping for a 16 hours apprenticeship. I told her I can't do the strongest jobs like clean someone or wipe someone. I couldn't do that. I would rather just follow someone and talk to them, maybe talk to them about my book. Speaker 3 55:11 - 55:13 Talk to the love of my life. Speaker 2 55:13 - 55:19 You'd be good. You'd be good like someone on reception. You'd be very chatty, very welcoming. I can see you doing that. Speaker 3 55:19 - 55:21 Yeah. Like something like that. Speaker 2 55:21 - 55:38 Yeah. So, um, okay. So we are coming towards the end of the show and it's been fantastic talking to you. Um, if you wanted to give some advice to somebody that is going for a diagnosis or, um, doing anything in life, what advice would you give them? Speaker 3 55:39 - 55:47 I would say keep trying, never stop. Just keep, keep on trying. Because if you don't try, then you're not going to get anywhere in life. Speaker 2 55:48 - 55:50 You know, that's my motto, never give up. Yeah. Speaker 3 55:50 - 56:14 Also, just before we finish, can I just say that I am hoping to do a documentary about autism and mental health as well. Okay. Have you started on that? Yeah, well, I went for a meeting And actually, the guy who wants to do it, he's got a son with autism as well. Speaker 2 56:15 - 56:15 Okay. Speaker 3 56:15 - 56:18 So he's really up for doing it. Speaker 2 56:18 - 56:19 Yeah. Speaker 3 56:19 - 56:33 So all together, it would cost me £6,000 to do it. So... Well, what are you going to do with £1,000 then? We've been contacted, you know, the Lottery Fund. Speaker 2 56:33 - 56:34 Oh, yes. Speaker 3 56:34 - 56:48 And we've just actually done... applied for one. and it says it takes about 12 weeks but I think now it's going to be a bit backwards now since the whole corona thing around. Speaker 2 56:48 - 56:59 Yeah I think a lot of projects are going to be on hold because of the virus. Some people do crowdfunding as well. Speaker 3 57:00 - 57:02 Oh what's that? Is that a website? Speaker 2 57:03 - 57:29 Now basically it's like a site where you write what your project is and then the community donate if they want to be part of the project and then they get recognition so say for example when the documentary is completed then their names go on the credits or there's various different ways you can get people involved that is a way that people fundraise to do documentaries or projects or whatever it is that they do. Speaker 3 57:30 - 57:35 Okay, that's great. I'll look into that with Anna when we get back to normal. Speaker 2 57:36 - 58:06 Okay, so I really have enjoyed talking to you and I've really enjoyed talking to your mum, Angie, and I think she's done a great job because you're a lovely young man and I like to hear about all your aspirations and inspirations and everything that you want to do. So, just to remind people if they want to buy your book, what's it called? It's called My World, in my words. Speaker 3 58:07 - 58:18 Okay. I was wondering, like, another last thing. Yeah. Were you able to, like, get my books into London shops like Waterstones and Speaker 2 58:19 - 58:27 That's something that I couldn't do. That would be down to your publisher. Have you spoken to your publisher to say? Speaker 3 58:27 - 58:35 Yeah, I have and they said I've got to do it all and it just looks like they want to help really. Speaker 2 58:35 - 58:56 Oh, I see. Yeah, because when I did my book, the publisher did it all for me. They put it online and got it into the shops and Amazon and all that type of thing. So, yeah, I hope that I hope that you can do that and I think it would be amazing if you could and I'm really looking forward. Speaker 2 58:56 - 59:04 What I'm going to do is I'm going to buy the book and I'm going to read it and then just let me know when you've written your second book. How long do you think it's going to take? Speaker 3 59:05 - 59:13 Well, people obviously are still being short of that since the whole corona. I'm hoping about a year and a half. Speaker 2 59:13 - 59:41 Okay, so you've got plenty of time. Okay so again I want to say thank you so much. You're welcome. And thank you to Angie and just to remind everybody that we're going to be writing an article about today and any links that you might have missed so if you check out the charity website on Friday www.annakennedyonline.com you'll be able to see Bobby's article that he's written and Speaker 2 59:41 - 59:52 the title of his book and his Facebook page And yeah, I just want to say stay safe everyone. Thank you again, Bobby. Thank you again, Angie. And all the best to everyone. Speaker 1 59:53 - 59:53 Bye. Speaker 2 59:53 - 59:54 Thank you. Speaker 1 59:54 - 59:58 Thank you. Stay safe, everyone. Stay safe. Bye. Speaker 1 59:58 - 59:59 Thank you so much. Bye.