[Speaker 1] (0:00 – 2:22)
Hello, this is Anna Kennedy. We’re talking all things autism. We’re live and we’re in Covent Garden and what a busy week I’ve had yet again.

On Friday, it was so lovely to do something a little bit different. So I was with Barbara Fisher who I met over 20 years ago when we were setting up the school and she’s a reporter But also an author and what it was was the evening was about sort of on the same veins of who do you think you are? So we were talking about our pasts, the book that we’d written and she’d written a couple of books and I didn’t know that she’d actually included me in one of her books called Tales of an Old Hack which I thought was a quite a humorous title But we spoke and there was a lot of people there that were, you know, interested in writing something about themselves So I’m going to give a lot of this radio program over to my guest today, which is Melanie Lee. So hello Melanie. Hello Anna.

Thank you for coming along and before I go over to you I just wanted to start off by saying obviously you’re very very passionate about what you’re doing and we’re trying to help you get the word out there. So so many questions remain unanswered despite numerous police investigations Reviews and a coroner’s inquest. Seven years on I am campaigning for a public inquiry into my son’s death A position no mother should ever find herself in.

So before we go over to your son’s story Tell me who Melanie is. So where were you born? I was born and bred in Champs at Essex Just a normal comprehensive school background left school and Funny enough.

I wanted to be a nurse. Oh, did you? Hmm, um, but in them days you couldn’t become a nurse till you were 18 and we lived in In chance that there was lots of engineering factories So I took an apprenticeship in engineering thinking i’d give up at 18 and become a nurse But it didn’t happen.

I carried on with my engineering Are there many other women there doing engineering? There was actually five of us out about 30 I think it was in the era of maggie factory trying to bring the women in Right Yeah, and uh from that I then fell in love with Matthew’s dad. Yeah And we went off and took a bar In a marina.

[Speaker 2] (2:22 – 2:23)
Oh, okay.

[Speaker 1] (2:23 – 13:55)
And then I brought matthew up on a boat for eight years the first eight years of his life Oh, I can see talking about books. I think I can hear a book in the making boats boats boats A book about your life. Oh, oh I think i’m gonna write many books about not only my life But the the stories and the the tragedies that other people are sharing with me on the back of this Okay, so tell me a little bit about matthew before you go into a story.

So tell me about matthew growing up Okay. So yeah, so matthew was brought up on a boat the first eight years of his life. Um, he Went to montesouri school and then uh ended up in the normal Mainstream mainstream passes 11 plus um went off to grammar school.

Okay um He just loved everything boats Yeah, the water he loved his crabbing fishing canoeing you name it. He loved that And then when we do we move on into the latter years? Yeah, so latter years he leaves school He wanted to go into accountancy His other friends got the college course, but he didn’t and uh So he he set up a little computer business, but depression sets in.

Um, and there was a A downward spiral should we say? Okay, um in his mental health and by the time of 19 That’s when we realized that there were issues that needed addressing and we asked for help Um, and he ended up under What’s called the early intervention into psychosis team? Okay Um and things snowball from there really which um, so in 2011 at 19, he had his first admission to hospital um for assessment and then treatment and uh I think it was five months.

He was in for that admission um came home Oh, I couldn’t you know, my son was shuffling dribbling Trachycardia i’m told it’s called Um, he was having horrible nightmares pains in his back. So we took him straight to the gp So this was after the five months. Yeah first admission.

He was doing really well You know, and then someone made an error in the medication and he was sent home Went to the gp. They had no record that he’d even been in hospital. They had no medical records Um, and the gp just said this boy’s overdosed and we must take him off the medication so at that time he had had two depot injections, which is an injection into the Glutenous muscle of this medication at an extremely high rate, which was too much for him.

Yeah, so, um Of course, then it was a rapid withdrawal Due to that matthew didn’t want to have the medication ever again because it made him In hope I don’t at all. If you’d seen him, it was just he couldn’t cross the road to go to the shop You know because he couldn’t Couldn’t tell whether the cars were coming one way or the other, you know So how did that feel for you to see your son go from one? healthy young man to honestly it was tragic and uh When I questioned the doctor on that and you know, he said it wasn’t he wasn’t disgusted his review before he was discharged Um, the records came to me the records had been changed Um, so I should you know there and then there was a problem.

So change doesn’t what do you mean? They’d been altered right to make it look like they hadn’t done what they had done You know and it had been discussed where it hadn’t been and even the cpn that visited said No, that wasn’t discussed. Okay.

Yeah Anyway, um, so that was in november 2011 They said to me well if you refuse to take medication by january we’ll have we’ll have a breakdown January came and passed and he was all right, but by about sort of february march Yeah, we can tell that there’s problems coming again Um, so what sort of problems he’s going? Well, um not sleeping Getting angry mood swings. Um, and because I was closest to him.

It was normally aimed at me, right? At that time he did tell me he was having problems with the food that he was eating and that I was buying and demanding money Um, but there was cannabis use as well intermittently and I refused to give him money because I felt it was for that Um, it’s laterally now that I understand. Yeah, he he had possible celiac disease, um, and it hadn’t been addressed Um, so when he was telling me he had pains in his stomach.

He wasn’t lying. Okay, you know um so Yeah, we ended up There was five mental health assessments before he actually got the second admission a year later in november 2012 And he was suffering all that time for a year. Yep, and um, and it’s not rare There’s parents telling me now they they’re waiting months and months for health.

It’s still happening and um So at that time, I mean we’d have an assessment and he got to stage social worker said can you have him? Can you have him go on a crisis before five because we can’t access the records after five and i’m like what then there was no beds You know, so finally we get the admission in november and it’s like relief. Finally, we’re gonna get him The help he needs.

Okay, and then uh tragedy struck within a week. My son was dead Oh, that must have been I just can’t even imagine how you must be feeling. Um, so what if you don’t mind sharing what happened?

Yeah, um, so um So yeah day seven well day three of his admission so he’s taken in Um for assessment supposedly, um, i’m told not to go visit for a week. Let him settle on to the ward Um, and we respected that Um, and to be honest, he was angry that we’d actually agreed that he could go in because you know, he didn’t want to be there So would you were you able to speak to him over the phone? I didn’t I Um, he spoke to his dad um I Day three of his admission.

Um He’d phoned his dad and he was absolutely distraught saying that he was being drugged and raped on the ward Um Is that for me? I phoned the ward the ward told me he was in art class Um, and no, it’s just his hallucination and whatever come see him day seven Um, he was found hanging that day seven before I got there. Um Yeah, and um, okay So for seven years now you’ve been seeking answers to what actually happened.

Yes Um, so why do you think it’s taking so long? I’ve been pushed around the system. And if anyway, I I know there’s been lots of people in the same boat as me There’s a compliance procedure that you must follow So I exhausted the trust compliance procedure to try and find out what’s happened.

They they do um an internal investigation initially um and The you know the the report that came back I wasn’t satisfied and uh, there was so many Um unknowns So then I went to the parliamentary health ombudsman um Dave took four and a half years to produce a report four and a half years to produce a report. Yeah, and it was horrendous um It was such hard work to you know, I would argue with you know, i’d have to produce every bit of evidence Um to validate each point um And even now I know they they have produced a report which was discussed last week in parliament. Um, okay, they call it missed opportunities, right?

um They haven’t published the full report into what happened to matthew. Okay as yet i’m told it may get published in a new year okay, um, but they actually produced a shorter version and Put it together with another lad steph. He died in very similar Circumstances to matthew four years earlier.

So you’re asking for a public inquiry. I’m pushing for a public inquiry And have you got the support of your mp? I have and not only i pretty patel is my mp and I also have um Oliver letwin Barbara kelly has called for it.

The coroner called for it Norman lamb has been brilliant. Norman lamb is just amazing. I think you know, i’m supporting to so many parents where he’s really support them He’s actually going to set up his own mental health foundation.

I believe yes. He’s doing something along those lines. Um But yeah, he’s been brilliant.

So I mean where i’m at the moment is I have a petition running online Okay, and I need a hundred thousand signatures by the 23rd of november. So how many have you got so far? I think we’re nearly on 49 000.

Okay, you’ve got four weeks to get a few more signatures. So if you’re listening in where can they find the petition? ww.sign The petition.co.uk is that easy? Okay, just type that into google Um, i’ve also got the hashtag matthew lee hee. Okay spelling lee hee people listening in l e a h y Okay. Well, thank you very much for this.

Uh, we’re obviously going to be talking a little bit more in depth If you’re interested in being one of my speakers on women’s radio station, please Contact me either via the charity website just to remind you it’s www.anna kennedy online Dot com or if you want to contact me via social media, it’s at anna kennedy one on twitter anna kennedy online Is on facebook and then i’m on instagram as well, which is at anna kennedy Ove so again, please sign the petition if you can melanie need your help We’re going to be talking a little bit more about supporting women’s well-being Welcome to women’s radio station i’m sarah louise ryan and welcome to love lessons live on women’s radio station Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me On women’s radio station hello and welcome to julene is listening Hi, this is anna kennedy and we’re at women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being and we’re talking all things autism women The possibilities are endless. That’s what makes us different Hi, i’m lauren michigan I’m a birth doula and mum of three and i’m passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experiences Please join me for my brand new show from tummy to mummy here on women’s radio station Every week i’ll be here with an expert guest talking about women’s reproductive health Everything fertility pregnancy birth and baby related right through to the menopause and beyond please join us for an informative and fun hour Hello, my name is ingrid marsh on women’s radio station and coming soon is the radical well-being show To help support women’s well-being each show i share the airwaves with all know women like me and you doing extraordinary things Women who overcome huge obstacles in their lives who are now here with me to empower you On radical well-being show you’ll be inspired to kick away the roadblocks and live your life to the fullest If you’re ready to get radical about your well-being, then this is the show for you Hi, i’m hazel butterfield a blogger book lover and mental health advocate and you can listen to my show get booked here at women’s radio station daily at 5 am and 5 pm throughout my shows we’ll talk about the books i’ve read new releases chapter authors publishers and book enthusiasts all with the theme and aim of supporting women’s emotional well-being if you have a book to tell us about get in touch

[Speaker 2] (13:55 – 14:31)
at presenters at women’s radio station.com join me on my show and share my love of books and writing Hi, i’m valentina barbachi, and i’m the executive director of media matters for women We’re a registered charity operating in sierra leone and the democratic republic of congo And we produce and share podcasts via bluetooth and mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access Own and share information to find out more and be part of this movement.

Come check out our website at media matters for women.org

[Speaker 1] (14:34 – 37:37)
You’re listening to women’s radio stations supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio stations creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved Join us on instagram and twitter at women’s radio station That’s women’s radio stn or facebook women’s radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs Hello, this is anna kennedy. We’re talking all things autism and we’re live.

We’re in coven garden My guest today is melanie lee hee but before I go over to melanie Just to remind everyone that halloween is coming up and it can be a daunting prospect for Our kids that are on the spectrum both my sons patrick and angel have always loved halloween And every year we design a pumpkin face and we buy sweets and we always get so many trick or treaters So patrick my son he used to enjoy dressing up when he was younger and um one year I remember I made him a dinosaur costume out of cardboard and paper and he thought it was wonderful. He wore it for the whole week Um, so just a few things just to remember so discuss and decide together what costume your child will choose Take into account not only his or her preferences, but also sensory concerns For example spider-man costume may include a full mask which can become overwhelming Some children like face paint but others can’t take that sticky sensation Make a plan and then stick to it What I would say to you is plan plan plan if you can do a social story as well That would be great and discuss it when you come home that you know that you know How are you going to plan it out? So then the child knows what to expect So melanie, thank you again for coming along to share your story about matthew um The health obviously serviceman obsmuzzman has published this request I just wondered if you could just share a little bit more of the summaries of his findings and what your view is Um, it’s for people that might be on the cusp of going through this process themselves Or you know, their their son or daughter might be suffering from mental health issues and they’re very worried about them So, okay, just some and maybe some advice as well that you could share.

Well, I mean the report itself Funny up he only the ombudsman has always done this massive report only focus on the seven day last seven days of matthew’s life And the care then he hasn’t gone into the previous Can I just ask as well just before you go into that? So how do you get an ombudsman to to publish a report for you? What’s the process?

What do you do? Oh, it was a nightmare. I had to You go for all the complaints process with the trust and then that’s it your last port call is the ombudsman Yeah And then, um, I had to fill in forms online and then send them to my mp and my mp would then submit Okay, and then the decision is made whether they’re going to even investigate.

Okay, um, and how long is that too roughly? Well, it’s meant to be done in like I don’t know. You should be like in within months when it took four and a half years.

I know others have took longer. Yeah um And I would advise if anyone’s going down that route Um, I give up on the telephone in the end because things would get changed and twisted. Yeah So to do everything by email Um, and then you know exactly what’s been said and what’s been agreed.

Okay, you know So some of the summaries have defined it summaries I mean literally the whole it went into all the failings that occurred during matthew’s death. Uh, I want it to his death um Observations hadn’t been done on the ward risk assessments weren’t Good enough Um, he each patient is meant to have a care plan I would urge any parent that has a child or any loved one in an award Um to ask to see the care plan and want a copy of it It should be done for every patient and they’re not being done all the time. Matthew didn’t have one and stuff After his death thought oh, we must check the records and they three of them Um senior staff Made one up falsified it back dated it and put it into matthew’s notes Um, he hadn’t eaten Although the record said it well, uh, because I asked what does ew mean on all these bits of documents?

Oh it well, so and it said the morning that he died he did it well He only had blood in his stomach. He had no food in his system This is from the coroner’s report. Yeah from the pathologist.

Okay Um And I know matthew didn’t like hospital food So we took a hundred pound in and we we gave it to Reception to give to matthew so he could order takeaways. Okay That money was returned to us two weeks later. It had been locked in the safe and hadn’t been given to us.

Um, So yeah parents, you know, although relationships may have broken down because of the stresses of it all Please even if you can’t visit send letters to your kids your loved ones Let them know that you still care you love them Do not be gaslighted from your child or your loved one Um, keep keep that connection However hard it is Um, so they know that someone is there But you know because it’s a very lonely scary place on one of those wards And I never spent time there as a patient, but I spent the time there as a as a Family member and the first admission was a two-hour drive. So I used to spend eight hours a day with matthew on the ward um, and You know, it’s lonely.

It’s scary because there’s you know, there’s a cross Mixture on an open ward of people with different ailments um So, you know you can Learn behavior, you know, you’re seeing someone self-harm Someone talking to themselves someone being highly medicated somewhere just for attention foreign furniture It’s quite a stressful place to be so, you know to give some connection to outside world world even if it’s just a letter Is is great. Yeah, I went to visit um, I was quite a few years ago.

Um A gentleman that was in hospital and he’d been misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and he didn’t have schizophrenia. He had asperger syndrome Yes, and they gave him medication for schizophrenia and obviously it gave him psychotic episodes So his primary condition wasn’t autism or asperger syndrome anymore And i’d never been in a mental health unit and it was horrendous. I thought how are people?

Obviously, you know, this was where I visited there obviously are some good places that are out there But this place that I visited it was just like how are people supposed to get better in here? And it was just so noisy. There was a chat that was shouting and um this gentleman that I’d gone to visit he just had a curtain that was That had been torn to separate him between another patient And I went to sit on the seat next to uh where he was and it didn’t have a bottom in the seats And my bottom hit the floor when I and there was food splashed up the wall I thought this is a horrendous place I couldn’t get out of there quick enough and I just thought how are people supposed to get well This is it and there’s not enough therapies for people, you know things to do Although the wall might it says on the wall when i’ve been to visit art class.

We’ve got meditation We’ve got gym and then Why are all the patients sitting in the day room there? Oh, well, there’s no one to do art today There’s no one to do the gym, you know, and you just think it looks good, but it’s not happening So since you started this journey, you’ve had quite a lot of families that have contacted you Could you talk obviously without giving out names? What sort of things have you been saying to you?

um I don’t need to give names, but just you know, there’s um Staff are sleeping when they’re meant to be on observations um when If someone’s having a depot injection, um, they’re trying to change it now to go into the arm But it’s very painful. So they put it in the glutinous muscle, you know, so all it needs is you know just the waistband being brought down Um, but they talk of four or five burly men pinning them down to the bed taking their pants down to their legs You know to the ankles just not nice and um It shouldn’t be happening. So although i’m pushing for this public inquiry i’ve got this petition running and You know, it’s if we can get to the hundred thousand, there’s still not guarantee that we’ll get a debate in parliament But there’s half a chance, you know And we’re doing that we bring in families that haven’t had their voice.

They can then lobby their MPs and give their story as well and let’s get cross-party debate on the issue Yeah, so again, just to remind everyone, uh, please sign the petition Basically, they’re supporting the campaign for a public inquiry into the death of matthew lee he and it’s www.signthepetition.co.uk We need so many more signatures, um now to support Melanie so that she can have a public inquiry into the death of her son so, um, we have um also been chatting about Matthew and you felt that he Was on the autism spectrum. Could you talk a little bit about that if you don’t mind well to be fun I i’ve never looked into things like this and you know, a lot of people one of Considered autism aspergers ADHD mental health unless it touches them. Yeah, because people get are so busy in their lives now From talking to different professionals.

There were certain traits of autism when I look at it. Matthew would have meltdowns He would have mood swings. He would isolate himself and have trouble communicating with people Um, he got on well with other you know with children Um, how did he get all his siblings?

He didn’t have any oh, didn’t he? No, so he had stepbrother and sister But they were older. Um, so, you know, he didn’t see them Um very often at all So, you know, I there’s this part of me thinks, you know Maybe he was misdiagnosed and at the end of the day They said there was a behavioral disorder when he was 20, you know that they’re possibly looking into that and physical illness Now he was found with epidermoid cysts in his groin and you know, he had them in 2011 and they were left on Untreated so there must have been pain Yes, he used to say mama got lumps down below because what 19 year old boy is going to let their mom have a look Yeah, you know, and I remember, you know, he did show the psychiatrist but cyclists.

Oh, there go Well, he had them 18 months later when he died They picked up overactive thyroid. They picked up possible cvac disease b12 deficiency all these things, you know, and I would say to parents if your child is showing signs of Any form of mental illness ask for blood tests first get their vitamin d checks. They’re folic acid their thyroid Have have the physical test because once they enter that mental health system My personal experience is the physical stuff.

It doesn’t get checked. Okay Um, it’s very difficult You know once they’re in they have to get a section 17 lead paperwork So how do you keep going when something like this happens to you as in obviously, you know Your son passed away and you’re fighting is it is it the anger within you that’s keeping you going or You don’t want it to happen to anyone else Well, I I don’t want it happening again And you know i’ve been doing this for seven years in those seven years.

It has happened again You know, so, you know i’m powerless to do anything about that, but I do have the power of trying to make change Um, and I know with what I have done already is making change albeit slow Um, and the petition is bringing You know 48 000 have signed it. I think I must have 20 000 of those have sent me messages So many, you know across the country are being affected and yes, we need to do something What’s the hashtag on social media on twitter if people want to support you. Um, i’ve got hashtag matthew leehey spell l e a H y that’s it.

Yeah. Yeah, and then we do have a facebook page justice for matthew leehey Okay, so if people want to find out more information more about the story they can find that out on the facebook page Again, if you would like to be one of my speakers, um on Women’s radio station which supports women’s well-being whether you’re a mom whether you’re a carer whether you’re an anna Or whether you’re an autistic adult, please, uh message me on www.anna kennedy online.com or you can leave a message on the answer machine 018 9 5 5 4 0 1 8 7 Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio station is all about diversity from opinions career ethnicity education and most importantly women’s well-being We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere providing opportunities and the platform for your voice Visit our website women’s radio station.com for more information I’m tamina zaman founder of empower and enrich when it comes to money. Do you climb up or get confused?

Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don’t know where to start At empower and enrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances And learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy affordable way Get in touch with me at empower and enrich.org and let’s change your future together Hello, my name is natasha and calaha. Welcome to you lovely lady listeners of your very own women’s radio station Over the coming months i’ll be doing a survey and big brand coffee shops interviewing customers asking why they like to drink coffee And if they would like to give us a health tip for our listeners The most shared and liked post will be the winner of a prize Stay tuned for further details Hi, i’m carolyn van bier’s.

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Turned to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet Job loss illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis We give practical help to get people back on track Whether you’re thinking of having a baby Trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to We can help visit turn to us.org.uk Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities including individual programs We can tailor your experience for you For more information on how you can sponsor a show go to women’s radio station.com women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Hello, this is Anna Kennedy. We’re talking all things autism. We’re live and we’re in Covent Garden Before I go back over to Melanie just to remind everyone that we’ve got our autism hero awards, which is happening I can’t believe it two weeks on Saturday Where 36 finalists will be traveling across the country to the chelsea harbor hotel The judges had such a difficult time in choosing 36 finalists So on the night where they will find out who is going to be the winner even though they are all winners They have there was some really amazing stories and some fantastic stuff going on across the country So if you’d like to come along, please check out the charity website and it has a specific page for the hero awards Which is www.autismheroawards.com We’ve still got people talking about autism’s got talent that happened last week The mayor said he was blown away and we are still looking for more talented autistic children or adults Please contact us again via the charity website AnnaKennedyonline.com the closing date for your entries is December the 31st next year We’ll be going to Cheshire. I’m also going to be Main compare for a variety show again for purely autistic children and adults. So that’s going to be happening in february We’re going to st.

Ives. We’re just going everywhere So please if you can come along to one of our shows you’ll absolutely love it So melanie, tell me if you don’t mind about the mental health movement and what are they trying to do? So I’ve never heard of the mental health movement.

So tell me a little bit more about that. Well With with all this campaigning it’s um brought me into contact with some wonderful people that um Have children that have been through the system have children that are still in the system in camps Have children like mine that have already died within the system or young adults and even older people But as a group, um, it started with one lady Eloise really that she’s she’s united people together. Okay Just through whatsapp. So we all work as a group and um Helping each other now, they they have got a facebook page mh movement Okay And it’s it’s becoming a place where families that have got concerns or want to know who to contact or how to get help Um can use it as a hub, right?

We have also been up to see clair mo a doctor head of NHS England mental health. Okay. Um, they presented a short video Um, and I know the group as a whole want to spread the message for learning across the nhs and go into trusts to just Show certain things how we would like them done rather than how they are being done at the moment And to open people’s eyes to actually you know What could be a positive thing?

And what isn’t um, and it’s been acknowledged and I know um Claire has recently announced there is a new panel. Um now Um for children and adolescents that are going to be looking independently at certain issues that have been brought to their attention So, you know, it’s some I can’t it’s a bit of light at the end. Yeah.

I mean, I know it’s a really dark conversation and what I you know It’s but you know at the end of the day, I can’t bring Matthew back. But if we can try and make changes um And I know a lot of safety issues have come to light um Although it’s seven years and things should have been changed like that. Yeah They’re gradually changing, you know And we’ve we’ve made such enough stink that these changes will are happening across the board.

Yeah It’s a little bit like Paula and her campaign Oliver’s campaign. Obviously suddenly he died, but she’s Um got through to the nhs about training. Yes got to be mandatory Yes, there’s so many members of staff out there that work within the nhs just haven’t got a clue about autism Um, there’s the passport as well that a lot of people don’t know about there’s one little boy that I know that’s just recently gone into hospital who’s autistic And they should have really given him a copy of this passport that they can fill out the information So they don’t have to keep repeating themselves. Brilliant idea like a care plan, you know, you should know Yeah, and he stands from autism anglia and I funded them to do a passport a one-stop shop passport So people can actually get a copy of that So if you look on autism anglia and look at the passport, it’s free Um, and you can hopefully they’re going to be able to download it and just write all the information on there So you don’t have to keep repeating yourself when you take your son or daughter to hospital or even if you’re you know getting uh contact with the police or whatever it is that um Happens at that time and that you’ve got something there that you can hand to them You know to help it make it a little bit more less stressful. So the the public inquiry What positive stuff do you think that it’s going to spin off from that if hopefully it’s going to happen?

Well, I think there’s been As the parliamentary health department has said there’s been review after review after review and he end up his report He got on the news and says I would have liked to investigate further And they were saying He’s sending it for another review of nhsi and I just think i’ve i’ve had police reviews in this and i’ve just seen paperwork Go shuffle shuffle shuffle and a report rewritten a public inquiry a statutory public inquiry Bring the staff in that were there on that day interview them under oath because today seven years on they’ve never been interviewed under oath you know and uh things Get hidden. I think it it’s like that bit of carpet needs to be lifted and bring it all out Um look at what went wrong in the community. What actually led to Matthew’s admission What went wrong in the community system?

What went wrong as an inpatient and Whatever comes to light because we know like they’re saying about risk assessments, uh observations all that stuff on the seven days It will be answers for so many families because Matthew’s Matthew could be one of ten thousand that will die about Let’s open it up um And let’s see all the issues I might get my answers and then we push forward for all the changes for you know The next Matthew that comes along so you were at um house of parliament was it or house of commons last week? Was it parliament?

Yeah, I guess it was. Yes. So what happened then?

How did you how did you manage to get there? So people listening in thinking well, how did you do that? How did I do it?

well, um what happened the so that the uh, this report was published and uh Then it ended up with the went to the PAC committee. Um parliamentaries. I can’t don’t know what is PAC committee that’s the short version Okay But they they were like a committee that scrutinized to make sure that the recommendations made in the report are then followed through right?

Um, so it was the discussion on that but so who was there who was in attendance? Um, we had um Nadine Dorries who’s the junior minister for for health and social care and then there was professor team kendall I believe and oh, I don’t know there was so was member of the public though. Could they could have probably could have gone.

Yes Yeah, I was I went and uh, I had one I had a lady from the inquest group with me Very supportive and actually i’d like to say they’re actually campaigning to um Get independent um investigations done on on deaths in within the state care the inquest group.

[Speaker 2] (37:37 – 37:37)
Okay.

[Speaker 1] (37:38 – 53:16)
Um They’re they’re brilliant. They they help families after a bereavement within state care So they do a lot more with the prisons and a lot of work with so did you get any support after your son died? Did any did you um access any counseling or anything?

Well, it’s like trying to access mental health. I went to the doctor to ask for counseling and it came 18 months later Yeah, I had two sessions of counseling because by the second session I was counseling the counselor. Oh my word So, um, hey, I put that one to bed Um, so yeah, that’s another service that needs improvement but um I think friends family Other parents that have been through what I was going through at that time is what’s seen me through all this I’m just going to say to you i’ve spoken to other people where obviously they’ve had extreme circumstances And they tend to lose friends because they don’t know what to say. Yeah, they find it awkward I was a bit of a rascal.

I met another mum whose son had died a year after matthew. Um He he was actually autistic She lived in canada. Okay.

I couldn’t deal with everyone at home I got on a plane and I disappeared to canada for Um a month. Oh, did you yep, and I went and lived with her and we walked and talked and Cried and laughed and we helped each other for that month and I came back ready to To carry on. Okay, but I think you just need sometimes that time out to get your own thoughts because it’s just such a it’s beyond explanation So if you had to give somebody tips Hi, if they were going through the process or if you could say look back and think what could I have done differently?

And i’m sure you asked yourself that Question so many times over and over and over again, obviously You can’t but what is it that you think that you might have been able to do differently or the process? Or I wish I’d done that. I wish I’d done that In that position now, I would say, you know when I was as soon as my son, um had that admission um And I spent other families being told leave it a week leave it Don’t leave it you go with them.

You sit down you you you’re there every minute and you find out exactly what’s going on Um and follow everything through um I you know, it’s a daunting thing. I remember the very first video onto that ward. I was nervous Um The staff had just sat in an office.

It didn’t come out to explain here’s his room put his stuff here You know and I remember after those five months as I was leaving another mum was going in and I thought Should I just stop stop and tell her? Yeah, you know Um, I wish I had done now. Okay, and I think that’s it talk to other families Okay.

So again, if you’d like to be one of my speakers, um on women’s radio Um, please contact me. Um, I haven’t booked up right up till um, I think it’s Sort of mid november, but if you want to be a speaker, please it’s every tuesday. It’s live.

It’s in coven garden Contact me on the charity website, which is www.anna kennedy online.com you can see lots of information that we post on there Updated news it could be about our events if you want to write an article for me That’s fantastic. We’re always looking for people to write articles To post on the charity website Again, if you want to contact us, you want to have a chat over the phone. Just leave a message.

I can call you back The telephone number is 0 1 8 9 5 5 4 0 1 8 7 or if you want to message me I get lots and lots of messages via facebook via twitter via instagram in my inbox I do look at them. Sometimes I can’t answer them straight away because obviously, um, you know busy And then i’ve got two sons as well that are on the spectrum. I’m here there and everywhere It’s actually half term this week for a lot of families.

How are you coping with that? It just makes me laugh when people used to say to me. Oh, I hope you have a great half term Hope you have a good week off It’s not sometimes a week off as in you’ve got to be thinking of things to do with your sons where to go And especially when children are off as well the queues you’ve got to try and find places that they Are going to be able to have a good time.

So again, if you want to message me, please do so Or please check out what i’m doing at anna kennedy 1 on twitter anna kennedy online on facebook anna kennedy ob Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio station is all about diversity from opinions career ethnicity Education and most importantly women’s well-being We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere providing opportunities and the platform for your voice Visit our website women’s radio station.com for more information I’m tamina zaman founder of empower and enrich when it comes to money. Do you climb up or get confused?

Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don’t know where to start At empower and enrich.org You will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances And learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy affordable way Get in touch with me at empower and enrich.org and let’s change your future together Hello, my name is natasha and calaha. Welcome to you lovely lady listeners of your very own women’s radio station Over the coming months i’ll be doing a survey and big brand coffee shops interviewing customers asking Why they like to drink coffee and if they would like to give us a health tip for our listeners The most shared and liked post will be the winner of a prize Stay tuned for further details Hi, i’m carolyn van viers.

Please join me for a brand new show here on women’s radio station It’s mother’s hour If like me you’re a mom juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them This is definitely the show for you We’ll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together With spoonfuls of advice incredible stories It will be refreshing honest and funny. Look at being a mom Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet Job loss illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis We give practical help to get people back on track whether you’re thinking of having a baby Trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to We can help visit turn to us.org.uk Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities including individual programs We can tailor your experience for you For more information on how you can sponsor a show go to women’s radio station.com Women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Hello, this is Anna Kennedy. We’re talking all things autism and we’re live and we’re in Covent Garden just to remind you It’s going to be Halloween So just a few more tips that you can actually see on my charity website So practice practice put on the costume Many times before the big night and work out any unpredictable situations such as a stuck zip which can be a nightmare Role play the entire trick or treat scenario as often as you can act out a number of scenarios So your child has a small repertoire of possible responses What should she say when someone says you look beautiful or scary or creepy?

What if you don’t like the treat that’s offered? What if you meet kids, you know check out the area where you live ahead of time Did you see that any decorations that might upset your child some children with autism are frightened of balloons or even clowns? Are there any flashing lights that might trigger sensory reactions so many different things to take into consideration again?

Please check out i’ve put up a post on our charity website about halloween with lots of different tips and also remember It’s halloween have fun and take lots of photographs so you can look back on them the following year So thank you again, melanie for coming along to chat to me I just wanted to remind everyone about the petition so we’re supporting the campaign for a public inquiry into death of matthew lee He spelled l e a h y please sign the petition So it’s w w w dot sign the petition dot co dot uk If you’re part of a group, please share so that we can get more signatures. There’s 46 000 at the minute We need a hundred thousand and um, I think there’s about four weeks to go. Is that right?

That’s it Yes, so get everyone involved. So you’ve got a website. What’s your website cure mental health?

Okay. What’s on there? Really it’s all about this going right back to 2015 every bit of um, every bit of press report Towards that um reports the ombudsman report is on there if people want to read it They can lobby their mp and tell them their story Um, because that’s what we want.

We want cross-party and it’s got all the endorsements the charities that are supporting And the mps brilliant. Tell me some thing about the good times with matthew Let’s remember matthew because obviously it’s been it’s quite a difficult subject to talk about and obviously it’s so tragic But tell me a little bit more about matthew and the good times He was funny he was kind um Rascal at times like most kids Uh, yeah, we we lived on a boat for eight years. Um, so what’s it like living on the boat?

How is that? It was really hard work I’m just gonna say I bet But we I remember him at six weeks Six weeks old and we went to the swimming pool and we bought a life jacket that Supposedly if a child falls in the water and the life jacket or turn if you go ahead down We’ll turn around on its own. I remember his dad just throwing him straight in while i’m in the water Oh my god, the lifeguard going you can’t do that What do we do if we live on a boat if he falls in we need to know it’s gonna turn up and he did He turned up lovely.

I was there ready to turn it over But you know he swam before he could walk and I remember him wandering down that pontoon probably about two years of age And he just started undressing because the boat had gone out. It looks like a nice swimming pool over there You know wanting to jump in swimming um Yeah, he would he’d wander up and down the boat on a on a harness most kids got a harness on your you know When you’re out walking he had it up and down deck, you know Then the things I used to lose I remember one day my file effects. I’d forgotten something went back down to Down left Matthew just in the cockpit there.

Yeah, I’ll come back. Where’s my final facts and I could see it sinking The little um what we had uh teak decks so you read the the black Rubber between the wood. Yeah, well, it looked like little carved carved roads And you know They did come dredge the marina and said do you want all the cars?

Because he used to just drive them off the end of the boat straight into the water Reminds me of um angela Our neighbors next door and they were doing some building work and they had dug a big hole in their um garden And angela kept throwing things over so they used to come over with a carrier bag of like empty sprite bottles cars balls So he said oh here we go again, so, um, okay, so did you build up like a community there like i’m trying to think It was it’s your marina if you might remember if you imagine and you run a pontoon Okay. Yeah, and there was quite a few people who used to live on their boats there, but we run the clubhouse So we had a bar almost strong That was good and then from from there I I moved into um A proper free bedroom house, which was a bit weird. Well, I mean I was brought up in the home wasn’t I?

Well, we did miss it Yeah, because it was easier, you know if living on the boat, it’s just that the weather was right and we had day off It was like we just throw the lines and go sailing. Yeah, you know, and he wanted to be a yacht master uh, he loved his sailing his boat in um, and Mum’s a yacht master. So it was like You know, he learned at a young age So you told me that he wanted to be a comedian Well, that was I found that on a bit of school work when he was about 12 What do you want to be when you’re older and he was like, I want to be a comedian I want to be a yacht master.

But yeah, yeah, I mean when he was having a good day He was the funniest boy to be around. Do you remember any of his jokes? Oh god.

No, it was just you know Just he he was just funny, you know and his friends would tell you that On his quiet moments. He was just a marvel. Um Bionicles, I don’t know if you know what they are barnacles these Little plastic kits that you you bolt together and build a robot or whatever Yeah, sort of like that but he just he’s anything like that he loved um You know and uh, well boys things yeah off on his bike girlfriends or anything like that Oh, yeah, I didn’t realize how many till after he passed because you know, they’ve been in touch since and yeah One especially every birthday she she messages to you know to say i’m thinking of matthew Um, I had some very very kind and even recently New girlfriends have found Found me or you know that yeah were his friends in them days and said oh, he was my first love when I was 12 and You know Um, and yeah memory brought tears. Yeah, so, you know, he touched hearts. Okay, he saved lives During his life.

So what was out there? Well, he saved three Um two ladies had gone out from the marina one night loved the drunk, okay, um In a rainbow to go out to their boat It was an anchor and matthew happened to be walking up 10 o’clock at night peach black and heard the screams and jumped in and got the two of them out and uh, Yep, um, well after that he did train and he he became a laugh lifeguard. Okay Um, but yeah, he likes swimming.

So he didn’t faze him. Yeah, so he got those two in um, and then sadly All of us is good. But the the very first admission he had the first day he met a young girl in there Befriended her and I think it was second or third day.

Um She Tried to take her own life Um, and he found her he rescued her. Oh, wow. Yeah, so I was like amazing.

Yeah, three three that I know of It was very caring of people. Yeah. Oh, thank you for sharing that with me.

Um, so obviously You’re very busy at the moment. Yeah, you’ve led quite a roller coaster stressful life What do you do to relax to help you keep going because obviously we’re about women and well-being Yes So I I ask all my guests this and a lot of guests find it difficult to share what they do To relax. Some people find it difficult, right?

And then afterwards i’ve spotted them Oh, you made me think about that. I’m gonna do something for myself. So what what do you do to keep yourself going?

Two things that are really uh good for me. Okay, it’s one I go to the pub. Oh, yeah yeah, and then I can have a I can have a sort of chill out time and uh Although you’re still talking to people it’s at a different level.

[Speaker 2] (53:16 – 53:16)
Okay.

[Speaker 1] (53:16 – 59:01)
Yeah, um, and I love gardening I’ve I just love gardening. So you’ve got have you sort of created your own sort of garden? I’m a bit rubbish at gardening.

I just like the weeds just like Well, I know i’m getting old because mum always like gardening and you always think it’s an older person thing but to be fair, no, I love it and The house I’m in now we’ve been in Five years so the garden’s just starting to get into that. How is it nice established? Yeah, I like to see a nice garden, but I don’t like to do it.

Yeah Now I do like it I do yeah and going to garden centers now has become quite popular with young and older because there’s so so many Great things don’t there. It’s not cheap, is it? No, so but it’s um, I always go with my mother-in-law She’s 88 and her sister they live together She’s 87 and I take them to garden centers every sunday That’s my good deed for the week for them and they love going and you know They’re like browsing around and they always say oh, it’s like a department store in here It is yeah I think they’re good places to go to and um to meet friends So again, just to remind everybody to support your petition. I’m gonna just remind everyone please sign this petition So it’s please sign the petition with support in the campaign for a public inquiry into the death of matthew lee hee So 46 000 signatures at the moment need a hundred thousand. So if you can tell everyone it’s www.signthepetition.co.uk And just to remind everyone melanie of where they can find you on social media Well to be fair, you know, i’m thinking about all the different bits. I’ve got matthew lee hee campaign on twitter Melanie lee hee my name I think to be fair and hashtag matthew lee hee. I think if you just put Matthew lee hee into google but there’d be so much stuff come up that you’ll find me somehow. Yeah Just to remind everyone how he spelled lee L-e-a-h-y.

That’s right. So please sign the petition so that Before we accept so if you do get a hundred thousand signatures, what’s what’s the next? What will you hear?

I don’t Said the way it works. Um The government don’t actually have to do a debate But even after all you yeah my word. Yeah, um, but i’m determined to get this hundred thousand um, we will You know if we’ve get enough cross-party interest and people lobbying their MPs on cure On my website cure mental health.

There’s actually a letter they can download to write to their own MPs. Okay, bring in support That’s good. So there’s a template.

That’s there. Yes. Oh, that’s good And also if you want to see melanie, uh, we did a short interview on the christie b show which is sky One nine one and that will be on the 28th of october at 10 o’clock So just to remind you sky one nine one, which will be on the christie b show Which is the only mental health and well-being show on television.

I just want to say thank you so much melanie for coming along Talking about such a difficult Subject and topic but you know I just want to wish you all the look in the world that you do get this petition going And that no one ever has to go through what you’ve gone through and I hope we’ve helped in a little way to get the story out there Thank you, anna and uh, yeah, let’s save lives together most definitely So again, if you want to sign the petition, i’m just going to say it one more time Please sign the petition supporting the campaign for a public inquiry into the death of matthew lee he it’s Www.

Sign the petition.co.uk Thank you everybody. And again, if you want to be a speaker just message me on the charity website Www.anna kennedy online.com at anna kennedy one on twitter anna kennedy online on facebook and at anna kennedy oba Bye everyone Welcome to women’s radio station i’m sarah louise ryan and welcome to love lessons live on women’s radio station Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me On women’s radio station hello and welcome to julene is listening Hi, this is anna kennedy and we’re at women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being and we’re talking all things autism women The possibilities are endless.

That’s what makes us different Hi, i’m lauren michigan I’m a birth doula and mum of three and i’m passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experiences Please join me for my brand new show from tummy to mummy here on women’s radio station Every week i’ll be here with an expert guest talking about women’s reproductive health Everything fertility pregnancy birth and baby related right through to the menopause and beyond please join us for an informative and fun hour Hello, my name is ingrid marsh on women’s radio station and coming soon as the radical well-being show To help support women’s well-being each show i share the airwaves with all no women like me and you doing extraordinary things Women who have overcome huge obstacles in their lives who are now here with me to empower you On the radical well-being show you’ll be inspired to kick away the roadblocks and live your life to the fullest If you’re ready to get radical about your well-being, then this is the show for you Hi, i’m hazel butterfield a blogger book lover and mental health advocate And you can listen to my show get booked here at women’s radio station daily at 5 am and 5 pm Throughout my shows we’ll talk about the books i’ve read new releases chapter authors publishers and book enthusiasts All with a theme and aim of supporting women’s emotional well-being If you have a book to tell us about get in touch At presenters at women’s radio station.com join me on my show and share my love of books and writing

[Speaker 2] (59:01 – 59:32)
Hi, i’m valentina barbachi and i’m the executive director of media matters for women We’re a registered charity operating in sierra leone and the democratic republic of congo And we produce and share podcasts via bluetooth and mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information Due to extreme poverty we empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access Own and share information to find out more and be part of this movement Come check out our website at media matters for women.org

[Speaker 1] (59:34 – 59:56)
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