[Speaker 1] (0:00 – 12:08)
Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re talking all things autism. We’re live and we’re in Covent Gardens and it’s raining today. It’s been raining for days and apparently it’s going to be raining even more and I can’t even believe it’s the 1st of October already.

We’re in October. Yeah, soon be Christmas and Halloween and all that. So we are here today and my guest today is Kelly Barker.

So Kelly has a clothing label that was set up to help children and adults with autism. So it’s a homegrown clothing label set up by Kelly who’s a mother of Oscar, an autistic child living in Herne Bay in Kent. Kelly set up the clothing label in 2018 with two main objectives which were to make the clothing as comfortable as possible whilst also remaining planet friendly and to hold important information that will aim to help not only the child but also the caregiver.

Welcome Kelly. Thank you for coming along to talk to me today. Hi Anna, thank you.

So tell me a little bit about Kelly. Before we go into the clothing label, before we talk about your family, who is Kelly? Okay, I’m 41 years old and I have three children.

Right, and their ages are… My daughter is 17, my middle son is 12 and Oscar is 5, going to be 6 on Friday. Oh wow, so happy birthday to Oscar for Friday.

So what are you going to be doing? He’s going to go to like a farm play area near where we live and he’s also got a party on Sunday for his friends from school which I’m really excited about. Lots of Halloween things going on there and that’s in the woods.

Okay, that sounds good. So hopefully the weather will hold out. So Oscar, he’s 6, so when was he diagnosed?

Oscar had his diagnosis when he was 2 years old, just over 2 years old. He failed his 1 year check and they flagged up to us that there were a few markers there for autism. And I just said, no I don’t think so, he’s a lazy baby, his brother and sister do everything for him.

Oh okay. But then he did then fail the 18 month check and Oscar also had quite a serious head bang when he was 9 months old. Oh dear.

So we noticed there was a little bit of regression there so we kind of flagged that up and he began an assessment. The markers were there I think prior to the head bang but we began the assessment and he was diagnosed just after his second birthday. So had you heard of autism before?

I had heard of autism because I’ve been lucky enough to work with children that had autism. When I worked in fostering, I used to work for a fostering agency for 16 years. Oh that was long term, so how was that for you?

Yeah I loved it and I was matching children and placing children with families with the best skill set for that child. So they didn’t all have autism but lots of children had things like failure to thrive, lots of attachment difficulties, really complex kids. And it was really lovely to be able to read their story and read their referral and really think about that matching that you’re doing and then watch them thrive in their families afterwards was amazing.

And I did that right up until Oscar was about 3 when his appointments became a lot. We used to have 4 or 5 appointments a week with Oscar specialist nursery, occupational therapy, lots was going on and more and more I was only available by phone. And it became one of those jobs where everyone was sort of taking that I wouldn’t be there and I felt that you need to be really committed to a job like that.

And it was just really in everyone’s favour that I stepped back and began just concentrating on Oscar because he had so much going on and I really just couldn’t balance the two. We had about 75 children that we were responsible for and I led the team and I just felt like I wasn’t doing it with my whole heart but I was really sad to leave that and I was really good at my job and I did love it. So tell me a little bit about Oscar.

How does he get on with his siblings? Has he got a good relationship? Oscar presents as a very self-sufficient child.

He will seek attention and affection from the world in his own terms. He’s very loving, he loves his brother and sister and seeks attention from them but it’s whether his mood is regulated enough for him to tolerate people because he’s extreme anxiety as well so his emotion is really unregulated and he can lash out on things. So is he in school?

He’s in school, he’s in year one. He attends a special school near where we live in a very small class. So how many in the class?

There’s eight children in the class and they have six members of staff while being the teacher. So a very high ratio of support there. You’re lucky there because quite a few classrooms that I’m speaking to parents about so if they’re in small classroom sizes usually you have a teacher and one teaching assistant and if you’re lucky you have two.

So to have so many in a class, that’s pretty good. Yeah, he’s very fortunate. I mean the school that he goes to, it’s the only special needs school near where we live that caters for a range of disabilities.

It’s not autism-led because Oscar has absence epilepsy as well so he’s also got a health report. So he’s got an EHC education health care report plus a health report. So he’s quite complex and we felt that they could meet his health and learning needs because sometimes the absence epilepsy will dominate over his autism diagnosis.

So he really is a bit of a thunderstorm and a rainbow all at once. He’s very rewarding. I like that thunderstorm and a rainbow.

I like that. Yeah, he really is and the thing is, you know, we don’t really know how we’re going to begin every day. Some days he might attack me when I wake him up in the morning and some days he wakes me up and he’s, you know, joyful.

So you just take each day as it comes, a day at a time as I say to people, some days good, some days not so good. Absolutely and we always end every day, you know, concentrating on all the positives with him because I think when you’re an autism parent, you really have to concentrate on those because that’s what fuels you, isn’t it, for the next day? Yeah, people don’t get some people when you’re talking to them when they’ve made some progress and it might seem really small to them but it’s huge to us, it’s huge to your son, it’s huge to the family.

So those are the moments that we relish and we can see that, you know, your son’s making progress albeit if it’s just small steps, we’re going in the right direction. So tell me about Born Anxious. What is that and why did you call your company Born Anxious?

Born Anxious is an idea that I had for an awareness clothing label for Oscar and it’s called Born Anxious because actually I’d created the company and we had products, only a couple. And it had no name. When I was driving back from an appointment with Oscar, he had a period of being very distressed and really self-harming and there was an emergency referral gone through and then they diagnosed Oscar with extreme anxiety.

And so that’s why I called it Born Anxious, it just hit me while I was driving. So I celebrated it because it fits so well. So Born Anxious is a clothing label that is inspired by Oscar but it is actually for everybody and it’s to celebrate really the difference of, you know, being neurodiverse.

You know, Oscar’s brain, we’ve accepted and we celebrate the fact that Oscar’s brain is not built the same. So the awareness labels there, to raise awareness when, you know, when you’re out, you can alert people that maybe they need to be a bit more considerate or kinder or it might have an awareness on there that your child doesn’t like loud noise. And actually I didn’t realise how helpful those warnings are.

They’ve changed how we go out as a family completely. But I wanted to share it with everybody because I think that it’s really good to promote kindness anyway, not just for autism. I know we could do with a lot more kindness.

I’m always putting it on my social media. Be kind, sprinkle that stuff everywhere because we live in such a, I don’t know, just that even on the news, everything that you see is so negative. People are angry.

The media seems to focus more on negative news. You know, it’s just like, what about being positive? What about being kind?

What’s wrong with that? How hard is it to be kind to someone? It’s actually free.

And, you know, to be kind in general, in your general makeup, and if you’re not necessarily naturally a kind person, you can make an effort to be kinder, actually feels really good as well. You know, you do get feedback from it. And I do feel that Born Anxious could contribute to the world being kinder to anybody that has a difference.

It’s not just about autism, invisible disabilities, physical disabilities. So, you know, being kind is free and I think that we need to promote it. So what sort of things do you sell?

So obviously, but I’ve got one of your bags and it’s got be kind on it. And every time I get on the tube, people say, I’ve had a few people say, what’s that? You know what, what is that?

You know, and I sort of tell them a little story behind it. So it’s obviously raising awareness that way and it’s a great bag. So if people want to check out what you’re selling and what you’re promoting, where would they find you?

And we do have a website, bornanxious.co.uk So it’s bornanxious.co.uk which you can check it all out. And so you sell things like bags, t-shirts, caps, anything else? Baby, baby grows, bags, t-shirts, vests, women’s t-shirts, lots.

There are lots on there, lots of different colours and great quality fabrics. So we’ll talk a little bit more about Born Anxious into the second half. We are preparing as a charity for Autism’s Got Talent, which is next week.

I can’t believe it’s come round so quickly and you’re going to be selling some of your t-shirts there. So if people want to come along, it’s at the Winston Churchill Theatre in Rhyslip. The closest tube station is Rhyslip and it’s just a 10 minute walk down the High Street.

Or if you want to drive, there’s plenty of spaces there in the car park. So we are going to have a fantastic show. The build up to it is so exciting.

We’ve had quite a few messages as well from families already. You can buy tickets and you can book them online or you can ring up the box office at the Winston Churchill Theatre. All the information’s on the charity website, which is www.annaKennedyOnline.com.

I have been promoting it so if you want to check it out on social media, it’s at AnnaKennedy1, at AnnaKennedyOBE on Instagram and AnnaKennedyOnline on Facebook. We’ll be carrying on with Born Anxious in just a few minutes. Welcome to Women’s Radio Station.

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We’re talking all things autism. We’re live and we’re in Covent Garden and we’re in the studios and it’s raining outside. And let’s do a little song of singing in the rain.

You know what? I used to love watching that film singing in the rain with Gene Kelly. I wanted to marry Gene Kelly when I was six years old.

So we’re here today and we’re talking about Born Anxious. So some of the messages on the t-shirts are, be kind. I have autism.

I’m anxious. My mum’s winging it. I like that one.

I don’t like loud noise. That’d be a good one for Angelo. So tell me a little bit about the t-shirts and why you created them and what’s different about the t-shirts.

Why have you created this company called Born Anxious? What’s different about your t-shirts? Well, the t-shirts that I use are organic and I think that’s really important because lots of children on the spectrum are really irritated by fabrics.

I mean, Oscar certainly is. He labels in clothing really, really irritates him. So I do actually remove all the labels by hand.

Sometimes I have to have helpers, but mostly I remove them myself. Is it quite hard to get them off? They are quite hard to unpick.

But what I’ve done is I’ve copied the information from the label onto a sticker. So you do get that information. I’m not discarding it.

The important information is there, but it’s in a removable sticker. And I think that it’s actually really good to remove the labels. And I’ve had loads of feedback about the no labels.

But I think it’s also important to use organic fabrics because I do source them within the UK. I’m not actually sure where they’re made. I think they are made in India.

But I source them within the UK and they’re earth positive. Right.

[Speaker 2] (16:43 – 16:43)
What does that mean?

[Speaker 1] (16:44 – 19:24)
Earth positive, they use fuels that are good for the environment to save on the carbon footprint. Right. Got you.

So the farming that they use to make the t-shirts is more healthy for the environment and reduces the carbon footprint. So I think that’s really important. But also they’re really, really soft organic fabrics.

Very good for eczema and lots of children on the spectrum. They don’t feel the cold at all. My son in particular is always hot and they’re really breathable.

So really comfortable, really easy, lovely to wash. I have actually been told that they’re like butter. So really easy to wash and they don’t shrink.

So you can put them in a tumble dryer, but obviously they do have print on. So you do have to be careful. Both my sons have always been funny about fabrics.

But Angelo was when he was a child. And as Patrick, he never wanted to wear jeans or anything like that because he said they used to scratch his skin. But then as he got older, there sort of seems to be a period where they go, you know, Angelo used to get pairs of scissors and cut the labels out so he’d have big holes in the t-shirt.

And then we went through a period where it didn’t bother him. So but now sort of a few years down the line as a 26, the labels are starting to bother him again. So, you know, I’m having to cut them out.

So t-shirts that haven’t got labels are great. And Patrick now wears jeans. So it’s funny how these cycles go.

I can’t wear them, but then he wears jeans all the time. So yeah, it’s quite interesting. So you sell t-shirts, you sell bags, you sell caps, you sell baby grows.

And what sort of feedback have you had from like adults themselves or parents or children? So you’ve talked a little bit about it, but it’s a certain thing. The feedback’s been great.

And I think it’s turning into a bit of a movement. If you look at the Instagram, we do have a bit of an autism army growing, which is also a design. OK.

If you look through the Instagram stories, there’s lots of pictures being sent in from people that are on a day out, you know, and just saying they’ve engineered all day. Arca. You know, they are having a positive impact on how we’re treated and allowances that are made that make huge differences to siblings of children that have autism on days out too.

Because we’ve been places before for 10 minutes, which isn’t fair when you have other children.

[Speaker 2] (19:24 – 19:24)
I know.

[Speaker 1] (19:24 – 19:41)
So to alert others around you that I don’t like loud noise or I’m anxious or I’m unpredictable and amazing. The cogs start moving. People start realizing, you know, that something, you know, is not the norm.

[Speaker 2] (19:41 – 19:41)
Yeah.

[Speaker 1] (19:42 – 21:04)
You know, don’t stare at the little boy who’s nearly six in a buggy. No, it’s not a buggy. Yeah.

It’s a wheelchair. Yeah. You know, so I tend to print on the front and the back because some children are in a wheelchair and they need the message to be on the front.

So it’s really however people want to to show the message. And I do have loads and some just say mummy sunshine. Yeah.

You know, they’re not all about those really big reminders. Yeah. Sometimes it might just be a being.

It might say be kind, not for any apparent reason. But sometimes it might say be kind. I have autism and it isn’t about showboating Oscar and letting everyone know that he’s got autism.

It’s about if he does try to steal your handbag. I’ve not trained him as a pickpocket because he thinks that something’s in there for him. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So the feedback’s been really, really good.

So where can you see your company going? Is it just for the UK or is it for overseas as well? It’s been really popular in America.

I’ve also made some great friends and really good connections with other families with children that have autism in America. And we keep in touch personally as well and they shared their story with me and I share, you know, vice versa. So it’s really good.

Obviously, I’m aware that America is a really big place.

[Speaker 2] (21:04 – 21:04)
Yeah.

[Speaker 1] (21:04 – 21:30)
We have sold quite a lot of t-shirts, which is lovely to think that people are walking around in different countries. Yeah. With our messages on, also Australia.

All right. We’ve sold t-shirts to Australia. Yeah.

Which is great, you know. So hopefully that keeps going because it doesn’t matter what language it’s in. Be kind is the same, isn’t it, in every language.

OK. So you’ve, it’s September 2018, it started the company.

[Speaker 2] (21:30 – 21:30)
Yes.

[Speaker 1] (21:31 – 24:07)
So you’ve appeared in numerous media. So you’ve been chatting to Eamonn Holmes, I believe, as well on Talk Radio, BBC SouthEast News, Sun Online, The Metro. So obviously the word’s getting out there.

And the thing is, I think, is that parents, they’ve got kids on the spectrum, more autistic adults. They’re hungry for information. They’re hungry for things that, you know, are going to improve their quality of life.

So I think it sounds like that your t-shirts and other things that you’re making for families, it’s just to improve quality of life as well. Yeah, it is. And I think that the benefits are immediately for the person who’s wearing them, because if the environment around them adapts even slightly to make more allowances for them, great.

And I think for the parents, you know, I’ve had a bit of mum guilt before, you know, where I felt like I needed to explain to everybody in the room while my child is screaming. And actually that makes me feel worse and then feel better. Yeah.

So I think job done, if the t-shirt’s on, then job done. But also for my other children, I think they find comfort in the fact that other people know why their brother is doing stuff. Because, you know, there was a phase when Oscar was first diagnosed where my birth children, my other children would be quite angry if people were staring at him, because they’re protective of him.

I know. Patrick’s like that with Angelo, because Angelo, obviously, when he was little, it was more acceptable for him to jump and skip. But now at 26, so, you know, adults jumping up and down because they’re excited, or eating the food with his fingers because he likes the textures, or making a noise.

Patrick gets a little bit upset because he doesn’t like people looking at them. He says, why are they looking at him? So I just said, Patrick, just ignore it.

You know, the bottom line is just let’s enjoy our day. It’s not about other people. Yeah, definitely.

And I think that it changes their experience and how they see the world. And I think they’ve actually realized that not everyone is as kind as you’d like them to be. And I think it’s if you’re different and you make people feel uncomfortable, it’s not about people being unkind.

It’s about if they don’t understand something. So I think my kids find comfort in the fact that I’ve created this for other people. They like to feel like we help other people.

Yeah. But also for them, because, you know, Lorcan sort of says, you know, he’s got the T-shirt on. I don’t feel like I need to say my brother’s got autism.

He’s not pushed your baby over because he’s mean. You know, so in those situations, I think they do, you know, they do ask me quite a lot. Is Oscar wearing a T-shirt today?

[Speaker 2] (24:08 – 24:08)
OK.

[Speaker 1] (24:09 – 29:36)
So it’s been a bit protective as well. Yeah, sure. So you work with how you formed relationships with other charities.

Do you want to tell me a little bit about the charities that you formed relationships with and why? Yeah, sure. The three charities that I started to support when I began Born Anxious were the three charities that have all imprinted on my journey so far with Oscar.

So I wanted to give something back to local charities. So the first one is Kent Portage and they are a home service. Yeah, I know, Portage.

They’re brilliant. They were the only people that helped me all those years ago with Patrick and Angelo. They were great.

And I was still friends with Jocelyn, who was the portage worker who used to come to my house for quite a few years afterwards. So I would recommend Portage to everybody starting out on the journey. Yeah, I mean, not everyone’s lucky enough to receive Portage.

But they were for at least a year and a half of Oscar’s life, they were regular visitors to our house every week. And I can single handedly say they did actually teach Oscar to play. Okay.

And they never gave up and he even attacked them at points and they never gave up. They always kept coming back. So they’re really important.

SNAP is a parental advisory service that runs in my hometown, which helps so many families. They’re a support service. They help with form filling.

Excellent service. Don’t you just love those forms? They’re just horrendous out there, all the forms that we have to fill in.

It’s just like all these hurdles that we have to overcome for the journey for day to day for our kids. Well, you become a PA, you have many, many files. And the third charity that we support is the Kent Autistic Trust.

And that’s paving the way for Oscar’s growing up. Because they actually support young adults living independently. Right.

And I think, you know, it’s not all about the littlies. It’s got to be about the whole picture. Okay.

We’ll talk a little bit more about that in the next half of the show. So if you’re interested in being one of my speakers on All Things Autism, please contact me on Anna Kennedy Online, which is www.annakennedyonline.com. There’s a contact form on there and you can ask to be one of the speakers on the show.

So it’s every Tuesday at one o’clock and it’s live and we’re in Covent Garden. So come along, share whatever information that you’d like to share. Whether you’re a company, whether you’re an autistic adult, whether you’re a parent, whether you’re a grandparent, whether you’re a carer, contact me and share information.

It’s all about sharing and supporting each other within the autism community. So again, if you’re interested in Born Anxious, it’s www.bornanxious.co.uk. Welcome to the Women’s Radio Station, supporting women’s wellbeing. Women’s Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education, and most importantly, women’s wellbeing.

We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website, www.womensradiosation.com, for more information. I’m Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich.

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We’re talking all things autism and we’re live and we’re in the studios of Women’s Radio Station. So tell me, so if you had to start off on this journey again once your son was diagnosed, what would you have liked to have known if you could rewind back? I think a really good valuable piece of advice that I’ve learned along the way, which another very experienced autism mum has said to me, was it will all be all right in the end.

And if it isn’t all right, then it isn’t the end. And it’s so true because although we get bogged down and we have information overload and you’re exhausted and all of those kind of things, and juggling everything, you don’t actually realise how resilient you are until you stop and you look back and you realise, you know, some time, midway with Oscar, I was thinking, I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to do all of this and take it all on and accept it all and advocate, but it turns out I am.

So I just think don’t underestimate yourself and build that emotional toolkit really early on, be really open-minded, and go to every single information event that you’re given and find out what you’re going to be living with because it will be forever. And yes, so I just think anyone who has found, you know, they’re in the middle of an autism assessment or there may be concerns that your child has autism, congratulations, because it’s actually an amazing community that I never knew existed before and more supported now in my parenting than I’ve ever been before. We’ve got different ingredients now, but I actually think that ultimately every single autism parent that I have met have all got that real hunger to support one another and I think that that is amazing.

Yeah, because social media can be a negative place, but it can also be a positive place. There’s so many support groups out there on Facebook, people supporting each other, sharing strategies that have helped. For example, like Days Out, Oh, I’ve been to this place, you know, it’s been great.

There’s some tips that when you visit this place, so that’s what I find that’s really useful for a lot of parents and they don’t feel so isolated because when I went to the SEND National Crisis March, there was three moms that had set up this particular group and they’d never ever met. They’d just created it online and then a few of them actually met on the day and it was so lovely to see them, you know, almost like, you know, I know all about you, but I’ve never met you and it was just like, it was lovely and just that’s, obviously it was a, they were fighting because obviously people are worried about the SEND National Cuts, you know, and all the cuts that are happening across the country, with schools, with adults, you know, with mental health units and all of those things that, you know, come attached when you have a disability. But I think social media can be really positive place.

There are some elements where it’s a little bit negative, where you’ve got trolling and all that going on, but I think it can be a really positive place. So when you first started out on the journey, did you go for the early bird training? Because a lot of parents, you know, we were chatting about this a bit earlier, that they don’t actually use that.

Do you think it was useful for you? I think it was massively useful to me. And I think the reason why a lot of people don’t do it is because you have to commit to such a big chunk of time.

And that’s one thing that, you know, we all feel we don’t have enough of when your special needs parents in. So if you’re going to start on it, what is it? What do you do?

The early bird program is a program. It runs for 12 weeks and it’s a set, one or two hours every week. So that’s not a lot of time really out of your week, one to two hours.

It isn’t, but I think when people are working, maybe. But I would say definitely because it’s so many things all in one place. You’re in a small group, normally six couples and two trainers.

And it’s really intimate, but really relaxed at the same time. And the knowledge that you get and you’re sharing experiences. I mean, I would leave there every week feeling grateful.

I would arrive empty and I would leave feeling grateful. And it wasn’t until months after the training had finished that I realized how valuable some of that training is. So I definitely think if you’re offered the early bird training, which is the National Autism Society that run it, definitely take them up on it because offers like that are not twice.

They’re just a once. How long does it last? It’s a 12-week training.

I’m not sure how long the window is. I think you can request to go on the training. It’s normally aimed at preschool.

It’s free. And it’s normally aimed at children before they start school. I think there is another one after that called Cygnits, which I haven’t been offered yet.

But the early bird training for us was amazing because me and my husband, both at the same time every week, sitting down and talking about autism, which you don’t allow that time in your diary to do that. So it was really valuable. And did you still keep in contact with some of the parents that were part of the group?

Yeah, we made friends with every couple actually. Actually, there was one couple that stopped going for, I don’t know what reason, and we lost contact. But all the other couples we’re still friends with.

So it was really lovely because you’ve all got those fears and worries and everything you share. Yeah, you’re not alone. So you can be really open.

And it’s again about that support. You find that support online or face to face. But yeah, it’s definitely really valuable.

Okay, so let’s talk a little bit more about Born Anxious. So we were chatting previously about some of our kids don’t like to wear school uniform because obviously some schools are quite stringent, aren’t they? Like what they’ve got to wear, they’ve got to wear a shirt, they’ve got to wear a tie, and they’ve got to wear trousers with like buttons and zips and all those sort of things that some of our kids find difficult to fasten shoelaces, all those sort of things.

So tell me a little bit about something new that you’re going to be progressing soon within Born Anxious. School uniform is a really big deal for Oscar actually. So I have approached Oscar’s school and put together a collection of sensory alternative items.

So a little bit outside of my range, long sleeve tops, t-shirt packs to make them better value for money. And were they open to listen to you? They were really open and they do have school uniform supplier and I’m going to be the sensory alternative.

So I’m going to be using the school logo and we’re going to be using organic label-free products. But we are also going to be able to print our messages on the back. So it will look like a school uniform from the front and then on the back…

So what’s it like jockeying bottoms and like a sweatshirt or something like that? Yeah, so over the head hoodies or hoodies with the zip were also in talks at the moment with someone about the chewies on the strings. Yeah, that was a great idea.

And also packs of t-shirts. So you’ll be able to get like four for three maybe because one school t-shirt’s not going to last a day. So some t-shirt packs, tracksuit bottoms and tops.

So a tracksuit, you can buy them separate. So if you only want one jacket and four trousers, that’s fine. And long sleeve tops.

So I think that it’s a really good mix with the school uniforms kept within the school colours, which is royal blue and then the long sleeve tops, white, grey, navy. So still, obviously we’re talking about a special school. So it is slightly more relaxed, but that will be a collection for that school on my website.

And then with the permission of other schools, I could happily use their logo on my uniform range. But it will be items that are not on the website in terms of, yes. So if a school’s interested and they’re listening or a mum’s interested and they approach the school, you’d be open to listen to do, you know, specialised if you like.

Yeah, I mean, the collection will be there and it’s a sensory alternative. And what we’re going to do is donate back to the school 10% of the funds as in, you know, like a charitable donation because I think it’s really important to give back to schools. Yeah, there’s a lot of schools that are just struggling at the minute.

[Speaker 2] (38:55 – 38:56)
Absolutely. Money wise, yeah.

[Speaker 1] (38:56 – 42:06)
Absolutely, yes. So I’m excited about that. Be going to be launching at the end of October.

Oh, I’ll look out for that. So tell me about, we were chatting as well about models. So tell me a little bit about your models that you use for the brand.

Okay, well, my little army of models are amazing, actually, because I don’t always use the same children. People are, you know, if they want to approach me about their child modelling, there’s no criteria apart from you have to be neurodiverse in some way. Or, you know, have an invisible disability or be different in some way.

So it could be autism, could be ADHD, could be Down Syndrome, could be a variety. Physical disability, mental health. And what it’s about is, the modelling aspect of it, it’s about celebrating everything that is amazing about being different and the children are really proud.

And also another really great part of that is, you’re getting parents together that wouldn’t normally meet to socialise. So there’s a real good support element there. Okay.

Support network going on. And the children receive, I use a professional photographer. Okay.

And the children will receive copies of those photos. Oh, that’s nice. So it’s a lovely achievement for them.

They get to keep what they’re wearing. And we’re going to have our next shoot in October at a pumpkin patch. Oh, wow, that sounds good.

Yes, that’s lots of fun. So the youngest model you’ve got is? The youngest model I’ve got is a very lovely, gorgeous little boy who just had his first birthday at the weekend, called Alfie.

And Alfie has a syndrome called PKS. Okay. And he’s one of 300 children with this diagnosis.

Yes, so he’s the top model. Okay. And then we have various ages.

Okay, what’s the oldest you’ve got? The oldest model, he’s going to be a new model, is 25. Wow, okay.

Yes. And I also have a lovely model called Harriet, who is on the autistic spectrum. She’s 23.

Okay. So if people are interested, they can check you out on www.bornanxious.co.uk. You’re on Facebook as well. So if they just type in bornanxious2018.

On Instagram, you’re bornanxious. And on Twitter, you’re at bornanxious2018. Is that right?

Yeah, so they can check you out. So if they want to send you a message or they’re interested in chatting to you a little bit more, please message the lovely Kelly and she will get back to you as soon as possible. Again, if you’re interested in being one of my speakers on All Things Autism, please contact me either via social media or you can contact me via the charity website, www.annaKennedyonline.com.

If you want to give us a call, Lisa’s always there from 10 o’clock till 2.30, which is 01-895-540-187. Thank you very much. Welcome to Women’s Radio Station.

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[Speaker 2] (42:07 – 42:12)
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Hello and welcome to June May is Listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re at Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing and we’re talking all things autism. Women, the possibilities are endless.

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And we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth and mobile phones, focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information.

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Women’s Radio Station’s creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter at Women’s Radio Station, that’s Women’s Radio STN or Facebook Women’s Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programmes. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re talking all things autism and we’re live and we’re in Covent Garden.

My guest today is Kelly Barker. Just before I go over to Kelly, I’m just looking at a post that’s up on the wall and it says, only you can make it happen. Do you know what?

That is so true. If I didn’t really sort of push and were like really driven for my boys, I don’t know where they would be now. So definitely, yeah, it’s only you that can make it happen.

We have got the Autism Hero Awards and there’s so many people that were nominated that only they could have made it happen. They have so much fantastic work that’s going on across the country and across the world that so many people are advocating for people on the spectrum, whether they’re parents, whether they’re carers, whether they’re autistic adults themselves. So we’ve got 36 finalists that are coming along to the Chelsea Harbour Hotel and that’s going to be happening on November the 9th.

So if you want to check out more information or who has been a finalist, please check out on www.autismheroawards.com and thank you to Kelly and Born Anxious. You’ve sponsored one of the categories so we’re going to be seeing you there on the red carpet and presenting the awards to the winner on the night. It’s such an emotional evening and so you definitely need your tissues.

Foot-proof mascara. That’s it. So we’re also chatting about foods and about our kids and what they’re like for, you know, you can eat this sometimes and then other times they can’t eat that or that food hasn’t got to touch that food and all those sort of things.

So tell me a little bit about Oscar. What’s he like with his food? Oscar only eats toast.

So I carry around cold toast in foil in my bag. So toast with butter? Yes, toast and butter cut into triangles for the dinner element of the meal and then squares for the pudding element of the meal.

So how does he survive on toast? Well, this is the funny thing because he’s not underweight. He’s hitting every single target.

Obviously I supplement him. He has omega-3, he has well-kid syrup, he has probiotics, he has echinacea if he’s a little bit under the weather. So actually health-wise, he’s very healthy but diet-wise, not so healthy.

Have you tried to introduce new foods to him? Well, Oscar is actually under the feeding clinic. So we’re following quite a strict thing with food.

So whatever my other children are eating will be available to Oscar on a separating plate. A lot of the time he just laughs at it he’ll point at it and laugh as if to say I’m not eating it. Good try.

He’s recently become interested in pizza. So he’ll dip his finger and lick it or he’ll take it apart and feel it or rub it round his face. He did eat fish fingers once at school and it was like Christmas.

I skipped in there because they sent me a photo of it and I couldn’t believe it. But Oscar, when he was a baby, he ate really well. I lead weaned him, he would eat raw peppers, raw broccoli, everything raw.

He would eat anything mixed up, mashed up. He would eat, not baby jars, he would eat food. And did it stop?

He started to regress around a year old when he learnt the word no. And then we began a diet of all he seemed to want to eat was baby organics, carrot bars, puffs, the puff crisps, the carrot oat bars, cheese crackers, and then slowly he would drop one and he wouldn’t pick it back up. So rice cakes, he lived on those.

It’s almost like he’s eaten his lifetime supply of that food and he won’t eat it anymore. So it’s very sensory with him. So if you’re eating, he’ll be heaving and they said that he is experiencing you eating.

The smell is overwhelming. But Oscar also doesn’t have any breath control so he can’t hold his breath, can’t breathe through his nose. So when he has a mouth full of food, he feels like he’s suffocating.

So once we need to get the breath control sorted out, he might get a little bit more adventurous with food. But at the moment it’s toast. Okay then, so hopefully he will progress.

There’s a lot of children that try the same foods all the time but as they get older I’ve spoken to so many families where they do elaborate on their foods. My sons were like that and now they will eat almost anything as adults. So that’s great stuff.

So let’s talk a little bit about the designs for the t-shirts. How did you come up with the designs? So I was chatting to you and you were telling me you’ve got so many different designs.

So did you go to art school or anything like that? No, I did not. Basically, when I started Born Anxious it was basically just lived in a notebook.

And I would have loads and loads of ideas and write them all down and I didn’t really know where they would go or what would happen or how I would make it happen. So I had a design section part of my notebook and I had probably 50, maybe more designs. And what I just started to do was just picked out two that were kind of coming out to me the most and that was Be Kind and Unpredictable and Amazing because I thought that would help me personally.

And then that’s how it began the designs. I just wanted them to be really subtle but quite bold designs. So really simple, like clipper kind of designs just to get the message across but be quite simple so that they kind of go with everything.

And I’m kind of quite like that, quite simple but also quite in your face. So that’s how we started with the designs. And some people have asked me to design a t-shirt for them.

Some people like to have things added on to the t-shirt. For instance, one lady she wanted be kind of have autism and then she wanted epilepsy, sensory processing disorder or something else underneath because for her that’s really, really helpful. So I can kind of play around but the most popular ones are Be Kind, Be Kind I Have Autism and Autism Army and I think those two are popular because they’re quite generic.

They’re gender neutral, aren’t they? And also you don’t have to have autism to wear those. True, yeah.

Angela liked her because obviously I got one that says, what was it, I don’t like noise? Yeah, I don’t like loud noise and that one was actually inspired by Oscar’s little friend Leo who has ear defenders but also his hand over the ear defenders. He’s absolutely beautiful little boy but noise is his thing.

Yeah, that’s Angela too. And when I put it on social media, so many people were saying where did you get that t-shirt from? I think that’s the one that matters the most, if I’m honest because children that have sensory processing or issues with noise, the effect of that on them is huge, isn’t it?

So I think that’s the one that probably has the most impact for the people that need to wear that one, the most helpful. Okay, so you’ve got a collaboration, or is it you’ve got a link to Aspie World, what’s that about? Yeah, I haven’t actually met Dan in person but I’ve spoken quite a lot to him and we just gel.

He’s on the autistic spectrum, he’s an absolute genius, he’s very, very knowledgeable about autism, he’s a successful writer and things like that and I really like his style, he’s actually got his own t-shirts as well on his own. Has he got a YouTube channel? He does, yeah, at the Aspie World.

He’s got 100,000 subscribers, he’s just got a medal. He’s very successful there. He’s also a talented musician but going back to why we’ve collaborated, he actually really genuinely loves my t-shirts and he wears them a lot in a lot of his videos and he’s got sensory processing so the labels are not in there so he really loves the product so I sent him some t-shirts and we got speaking and he was just an idea that we both had really, that we should really join forces and have Born Aspie World is what it’s called and it’s a t-shirt about celebrating being awesome which is what he wanted, it’s one of his sayings, give it awesome and really, his is a celebration because it’s on the spectrum. Yeah, so that’s on the website. Okay, so you’ve kindly given me a t-shirt that says Team No Sleep, thank you for that because obviously as people, if they follow me on social media they’ll say I don’t get a lot of sleep for the last sort of 28, 29 years so I’m really grateful for that so I’ll wear that and I’ll put it on social media so people can see it.

So if you’re one of the mums who is part of the Wide-Aware Club you might like to wear Team No Sleep. So what do you do to relax? Because obviously you’re a busy lady and you’ve got three children so we’re all about mental health and wellbeing and supporting women’s wellbeing on this radio station so tell me what do you do to relax?

Well, to relax. I think actually it’s really important as a special needs parent to steal the time, to steal that time and force yourself to because for me to relax I like to get in my car and drive down to the seafront and sit and just watch the sea and just be on my own with my own thoughts or go near woods, just back to nature, wind blowing in my face normally in hernbags as it was called but I really like that to just sit and collect my thoughts and another thing I really like to do is maybe go with a girlfriend to the cinema. Yeah, I haven’t been to the cinema for years. No, and I really enjoy that because watching TV at home you get up every five minutes.

And are you watching something and then you put it on pause and then you go back again so something that’s supposed to take half an hour can take like an hour and a half. Yes, that’s me watching the soaps takes two hours to watch one episode and I think it’s easy to get up and potter. Yeah.

Whereas if you go to a movie, you just switch off, stuff your face, no one can see you, you’re in the dark, so if you fall asleep it doesn’t matter. But yeah, they’re my switch offs and obviously I do really love shopping. Okay, so we’ve run out of time.

I’d just like to say thank you so much for coming along to chat to me and talking about Born Anxious and Your Wonderful T-shirt. So we’re looking for the progress. Obviously you’re going to come to support Autism’s Got Talent, which is great.

So I said to you, bring your tissues because it’s such an emotional roller coaster and we’ll be showcasing lots of fantastic performers. So thanks again for coming along. Thank you.

So again, if you want to be one of my speakers on All Things Autism, please contact me on www.annakennedyonline.com. Autism’s Got Talent is next week. So it’s a week on Saturday, tickets are on sale.

So come along and see what I’m always banging on about. It’s the best show in town. And it’s at the Winston Churchill Theatre rice lip.

And I just want to say thank you again to Kelly and we are supporting women’s wellbeing. Bye everyone. Welcome to the Women’s Radio Station, supporting women’s wellbeing.

Women’s Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education, and most importantly, women’s wellbeing. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website, womensradiosation.com for more information. I’m Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower & Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement?

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