Skip to content Skip to footer

All Things Autism – Laurel Herman

Episode Summary

Join autism advocate Anna Kennedy and entrepreneur Laurel Herman for an intimate conversation about autism, Asperger’s syndrome, and creating meaningful employment opportunities for adults on the spectrum. Laurel shares her personal journey of discovering her son’s Asperger’s diagnosis at age 30, revealing how this revelation transformed her understanding and led to the creation of Aspirations, a community interest company dedicated to helping talented individuals with autism achieve fulfilling careers. The discussion explores the challenges of late diagnosis, the reality that only 15-20% of autistic adults are employed, and the importance of masking behaviors that often hide autism symptoms. Anna opens up about her own sons’ experiences with autism, from Angelo’s profound autism and sensory processing issues to Patrick’s independent travel adventures and anxiety management, while highlighting the practical strategies families can use to support their loved ones on the spectrum.

Join autism advocate Anna Kennedy and entrepreneur Laurel Herman for an intimate conversation about autism, Asperger’s syndrome, and creating meaningful employment opportunities for adults on the spectrum. Laurel shares her personal journey of discovering her son’s Asperger’s diagnosis at age 30, revealing how this revelation transformed her understanding and led to the creation of Aspirations, a community interest company dedicated to helping talented individuals with autism achieve fulfilling careers. The discussion explores the challenges of late diagnosis, the reality that only 15-20% of autistic adults are employed, and the importance of masking behaviors that often hide autism symptoms. Anna opens up about her own sons’ experiences with autism, from Angelo’s profound autism and sensory processing issues to Patrick’s independent travel adventures and anxiety management, while highlighting the practical strategies families can use to support their loved ones on the spectrum.

Main Topics

  • Autism and Asperger's syndrome awareness
  • Late autism diagnosis in adults
  • Employment challenges for autistic individuals
  • Aspirations community interest company
  • Masking behaviors and high-functioning autism
  • Family experiences with autism spectrum disorders
  • Travel training and independence for autistic adults

Episode Tags

Episode Sponsor

Podcast Transcript

[Speaker 1] (0:00 – 13:58)
Hello, this is Anna Kennedy, and we’re live in Covent Garden. We’re talking all things autism, and it’s a wet afternoon And we were just talking about how the British always talk about the weather so from the humidity last week. We’re wet today, so hey So what we’re going to be doing is and I have a lovely lady Sitting in the studio with me Laurel and before I go over to Laurel I’m going to tell you a little bit about what I’ve been doing as always so I’ve been a busy bee here there and everywhere I’m a bit tired today because Angelo didn’t go to sleep till 4 o’clock this morning, so I am just about awake So autism with attitude at the weekend and E-Link Christian Center So autumn with attitude is a street dance crew that was formed because of autism’s got talent and they started about six years ago On my show and they have gone from strength to strength if you type in autumn with attitude on Google You’ll see everything that they’ve been up to and what they’re up to now Is they’re going to be going to the world championships street dance championships?

There’s about 30 Children all on the autism spectrum. They were amazing on Saturday I was so proud of them and we had a few more of our autumn’s got talent performers that were supporting them for the fundraiser So we had Callum again as another street dancer. We had Macaulay who sang we had Marie who sang so just an amazing Show so well done Jonathan who’s one of our street dance teachers at Hillington Manor School So my guest today is Laurel Herman and Laurel is a very elegant lady And we met a few weeks ago and so inspired by this lady And she is a seasoned graduate in life with all its many unexpected twists and turns an international image She’s a trusted personal advisor and accomplished and sought-after presenter moderator and panelist and a not acknowledged female Entrepreneur role model and mentor to working women so many more other titles and hats So welcome Laurel and thank you for coming to see me today, and thank you Anna for inviting me So Laurel tell me who is Laurel tell me a little bit about your background. Just did it Goodness me.

Um, okay. So the Laurel started many many many years ago as you appreciate Mm-hmm. I was very academic at school.

I Really fell in love with my husband at 16 got married very early had two kids By mistake created a business and I really mean by mistake women always say things are by mistake But if I look back on everything nothing was intentional and I certainly didn’t want to be in business So I started something and really it snowboard from there and the term entrepreneur I suppose comes from the fact that everything I’ve ever created and when I look back now I realize there’s been many of them Have been solutions and they’ve been solutions very often to problems people didn’t even know they had Until I came up with a solution So I suppose there’s something in that When I look back there’s so many more problems that I want to try and help people solve but they’re running out of time now I know right and energy to okay.

Thank you. So tell me a little bit about what is aspirations. Is that how you pronounce it?

Aspirations well somebody yes, they called it aspirations actually, but yes aspirations because as you know The term SP is one that’s used and so it’s aspirations, but with a little e in the middle to differentiate it Aspirations is a community interest company that I founded four years ago And as you know, that’s a social enterprise, which means that we can actually run a business, but we mustn’t make any profits Okay, so what are its goals? Its goals are to help Those with Asperger’s syndrome particularly but across highly talented able individuals with an ASD To achieve fulfilling rewarding and appropriate and that’s underlined working lives and improved well-being Better employment outcomes.

Okay. So when did you first hear about autism and Asperger’s syndrome? Well, it’s very interesting and probably most of your listeners won’t realize this But if we go back 20 years, remember what I’m saying now is only retrospectively that I now see it this way I’m pretty savvy.

I’m out in the business world, you know, I’m seen as a Expert in behavior and communication and really if I had a perception of autism It was either rain man or a child severely autistic, you know with great anxiety if I had a perception at all and I really don’t know if I had and then Very suddenly it was suggested to me that one of my sons had Asperger’s syndrome Now at the time and again 20 years ago, it’s difficult for people to understand this I live in Hampstead an area that is what I call the psychocapital of the world I always say if you want your goldfish psychoanalyzed bring it to Hampstead You’ll find somebody who’s prepared to do it.

Okay, but at the time my doctor had never heard of Asperger’s We couldn’t get my son diagnosed. There was just nobody we had to go to Cambridge Now that tells you what’s happened in the 20 years since right? so that was really my My eyes and I have to admit it was very hard to do that because in my mind And I say the perception of autism was something that’s hard for me to recognize my son was 30 Mmm, and the fact that I hadn’t thought anything was different or unusual.

Mm-hmm. So that’s where it all started So your son’s 30 and he was diagnosed. What would school life for him?

Then did you have any inklings that you might have thought of looking back, of course Yeah, but at the time it was always he was daydreaming He was very able wasn’t able to cope with things didn’t do well in exams and should have done all of those things I have to tell you now is had got his masters and all kinds of things Yeah, but at the time we took him away from a school because it certainly wasn’t fishing for him But looking back even in his secondary school, I mean he was actually a candidate.

It was a general election He was a director of a school play. It was things that he wanted to do or that’s looking back Yeah, he got distinction in religious studies and we’re not religious Yeah, but he bombed in other things it just there wasn’t a pattern Yeah, but there were other little issues that came up, but only looking back. Do I now understand that they were issues?

Yes, and he was different the other two would play football with a dad after you know dinner or something He didn’t he would rather play chess or do something He was more sensitive and I do believe the mother’s instinct came out because I was much more protective to him Crossing roads and of course, I got a bit of a stack from my husband saying yeah You know, you know looking after him too much anything, but there was something that made me want to do it Okay, so when you took him for the diagnosis, was he happy to go along or was it under suffering?

You know, I don’t really it’s a difficult time for me. I’d gone through a divorce and everything I do think that when I came home I remember telling him that someone has suggested this and he looked at me like I was mad and everything and I came home Two days later he’d been down to the library and got all the books out and he said to me mum I think you’re on to something and I do believe that for a time We were euphoric because it suddenly gave us a reason an answer to why things had been a bit odd in certain ways And when I’ve talked to other people, that’s exactly what happens. But of course after the euphoria There’s realization that maybe life won’t be what you thought it was going to be and that was very difficult Okay, so he’s 30 now and he’s is he working he’s now 50 or 50 Wow 20 years ago Oh, yeah, true.

He is now chairman of our board. All right. Okay, so I’m proud So that’s great.

And so have you had to make any reasonable adjustments for him talking about being chairman of the board? Is it things that he finds difficult? I find it I don’t think he’d like me to say this is specifically about him because I’ll get a problem when I But I would say that yes Things I have learned particularly is as a woman and Anna you and I know that we’ll be talking way like that We’re talking gabbling away.

Yeah, I suddenly start to my shoes or makeup or something. That’s very difficult I’ve learned that I have to stay on one track. Okay, or pause Right not go from one subject to another Okay Always now to explain things because it has to make sense and you know a lot in our life does not make sense So in fact if I say are you going out I’ll get not so why Well, I don’t know why I just need to know Yeah, but why do you need to know and then we’ll get into a whole dialogue things like that Okay, just learning to deal with that in a different way. Yeah makes life much easier You’ve got to look at different strategies all the time. It’s the same with both my boys They’re very different from each other, you know, and those people that listening that I don’t know about my sons, you know, Angelo’s 26 He’s quite profoundly affected by his autism.

He’s got sensory processing condition He’s also got nocturnal epilepsy which probably means why he doesn’t sleep a lot Hence why he didn’t go to bed at 4 o’clock this morning Patrick It’s got diagnosed with them Asperger’s syndrome is particularly stressed at the moment But doing well within his work placement at Pinewood Studios But he’s off to Chester and he’s wants to go and it’s great that he’s you know On his own and he’s great at travelling, but it’s just the anxiety build up to him going and he’s going to be staying away For two nights. I’m really lucky that because of my social media contacts I know a parent that lives there So she said oh don’t worry, you know We’ll keep an eye out for him type of thing so he can contact her if he needs to So that’s something that but it took a little while for him to become independent We did do travel training which worked really well for him But now he travels to see exhibitions and different things that might interest him So but as I said, there’s you know You’ve always got to think out the box of things that might not work or might work or strategies or you know That you know, yeah plan ahead I only found out now that my son would find himself at the end of the northern line sometimes You know, he didn’t realize this was all masked remember This is the important thing I think for parents to know that there are people who are very high functioning I hate that term, but you know what I mean Who actually masks these conditions so you don’t know that that’s what especially women Well, I think generally and I would say that what I I’m very neurotypical I mean, I’m up sleep from the other end of the spectrum I think and what I’ve begun to understand is this term anxiety we as neurotypicals feel anxiety So with reference to Patrick I just wanted to say one more thing when he was traveling that you know Sometimes he might fall asleep on the train because he’s on a long journey and he’ll go past his stuff And then I’ll get a call from him quite anxious.

And then it’s like I talk it through with him So I say Patrick, what do you think you might need to do now? And then he knows what the answer is He just wants a little bit of reassurance So I’ll get off the train I’ll go the opposite direction go back to the stop where he was supposed to get awful But it’s just like you just got to be at the end of the phone for him sometimes to help him get on with his Day, so we’re going to be talking a little bit more about aspirations So I’d like to know a little bit more because might be people listening out there adults who are on the spectrum That might you know want to contact you and talk about aspirations because I’ve read and so many articles There’s only 15% or might even be 20% of adults who are autistic that are in the workplace Which is very very sad So if you’re interested in being one of the speakers on the radio station, please contact me on Anna Kennedy online So that’s www.anna kennedy online.com. Do you have a website address that people can check you out on aspirations? www Aspirations with the e in the middle as pi e Rati ons dot org So if they want to contact you they can contact through you through the website and if you want to check out on social media I’m at Anna Kennedy one on Twitter Anna Kennedy online on Facebook at Anna Kennedy On Instagram and I’m Anna Kennedy on LinkedIn, which I don’t use that often, but it’s quite good for making contacts and networking Welcome to women’s radio station. I’m Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to love lessons live on women’s radio station Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me Stepania Pasamante on women’s radio station. Hello and welcome to June May is listening Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re at women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being and we’re talking all things autism women The possibilities are endless.

That’s what makes us different Hi, I’m Tracy Whedon of Brownhill insurance group We are an award-winning family-run insurance broker covering a wide range of insurance products Ranging from commercial lines to personal household high net worth and fine art. You can contact us on 0208 658 4 3 3 4 or visit our website www.brownhillgroup.co.uk For your free no obligation quotation at Brownhills. We’ve got you covered Hi, I’m Lauren Mishkon I’m a birth doula and mum of three and I’m passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experiences Please join me for my brand new show from tummy to mummy here on women’s radio station every week I’ll be here with an expert guest talking about women’s reproductive health everything fertility Pregnancy birth and baby related right through to the menopause and beyond please join us for an informative and fun hour Hi, I’m Hazel Butterfield a blogger book lover and mental health advocate and you can listen to my show get booked here at women’s radio station Daily at 5 a.m. And 5 p.m. Throughout my shows. We’ll talk about the books I’ve read new releases chapter authors publishers and book enthusiasts all with the theme and aim of supporting women’s emotional well-being If you have a book to tell us about get in touch at presenters at women’s radio station calm

[Speaker 2] (13:58 – 14:32)
Join me on my show and share my love of books and writing Hi, I’m Valentina Barraci and I’m the executive director of media matters for women We’re a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo And we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth on mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls Excluded from information due to extreme poverty We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access own and share information To find out more and be part of this movement come check out our website at media matters for women org

[Speaker 1] (14:34 – 22:16)
You’re listening to women’s radio stations supporting women’s well-being women’s radio stations creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved join us on Instagram and Twitter At women’s radio station, that’s women’s radio STN or Facebook women’s radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re talking all things autism. We’re live We’re in Covent Garden and we’re supporting women’s well-being before I go over to Laurel I get many many messages from parents who are frustrated about the wait times for diagnosis And as you know It’s very much a topic for me that I talk about the wait times trying to do whatever I can to support parents So just recently and I received a message So it’s I have a two-year-old child who has received next to no help from the NHS He’s clearly autistic and I’ve been told there is a two-year waiting list.

Please. Can you give me some advice? So what I did share was there are three options you can get an independent diagnosis, which can be quite expensive You can raise a complaint with the NHS on the basis that your son’s well-being or your daughter is suffering because without a diagnosis He or she is unable to target the support that he or she requires and a possible third option is depending on your son or daughter’s needs apply for education and health care plan and if necessary You could appeal the document when it is produced and include the health provision Arguing that you need the diagnosis for your son or daughter for this document and this important piece of paperwork to be accurate So Laurel, can you tell me why you created aspirations? Yeah, so just going back those 20 years Okay, remember I said that I didn’t know anyone with autism in their families I didn’t know I knew anyone shall we say that yeah people didn’t talk about it No as I came to terms with it my work in positive presence, you know I have different companies but my work in positive presence is with people in the business and professional world basically successful people who come to us to actually increase their presence their impact their influence and I began to realize that some of those people actually Were on the spectrum by the way that they answered my questions and didn’t understand the analogies I was giving them and wanted rules all the time and sometimes in building relationships You don’t actually have rules or networking and as I began to talk about this. I’m very connected I’m very out there in lots of different ways and very open in all my meeting things I began to talk about autism or something like it I began to realize how many people I was speaking to actually had a connection.

They were confiding with me They weren’t prepared to talk about it in the open world But suddenly I began to see there were all these people and nobody seemed to recognize this and then I would say to people You know talk about someone who got a Cambridge first who was on the spectrum and I said What does he do and their face would fall and often what I was hearing more than any time break down Drugs and drink at home Working down the local I think whatever it was It was a wasted life it would seem for someone who was very able and the more I heard that the more I began to Worry and then this mrs.

Fix it decided there was something she had to do about it Okay, and I didn’t want to start a charity because I’m not a socialite or anything But I realized the way to actually do this it had to be a two-pronged approach Okay, I didn’t want to start this charity So I made it a business case because it was businesses had to realize this was a whole lot of people who would be very very good For them and because of my connections in the business world at very senior levels.

I was able to do that Mm-hmm. I got them all around the table one day and said you are missing a trick here You’re talking about a skill shortage There’s a whole lot of people out there who are not getting into your companies because the recruitment process is a daunting And they don’t get in bloody bloody blah and this is a wasted pool of talent And they all set up and listened and aspirations was born. Okay, so you’re talking about many people that didn’t want to share Their sons or daughters or they were autistic themselves.

Do you think there’s still a stigma attached? It also was quite a few women who had husbands and ex-partners who were telling me the stories Yes, there undoubtedly is a stigma, which is really what we’re trying to remove by making people understand It’s just another difference It is I find it quite sad and I work with autism reality experience, which is a sensory Boss, if you like and you experience what it’s like to have a sensory overload and we’ve taken it to universities We’ve taken it to Heathrow Airport and we take I took it to Essex to the first responders and we had about 130 maybe 150 police ambulance Fire people that basically some of them had sons and daughters that were on the spectrum Well, once they’d been through the experience and then they sat down and then we went through some of the training That’s when they shared and even though they were working together They’ve never actually shared that their son or their daughter or their brother or their partner Were on the spectrum and it was almost like a big weight had been lifted off their shoulder because they were able to share About it and what I get frustrated is about it’s it’s nothing to be ashamed Of why is it that people are worried about saying? Oh my son that my daughter’s got autism And especially in I spoke to parents because I’m up in the middle of the night I talk I chat to people from different countries. So especially an injury even in Ireland They’re worried about some parents are worried about sharing Mental health generally and it is seen by a lot of people as a mental illness and it doesn’t need to be That’s the whole thing.

So I think there’s a lot of work being done with the whole of the mental health agenda But I do think that gradually if we can also hold up role models and show people this is something with autism Mm-hmm. It doesn’t have to be what you think it’s perception that we’re working against. So they’re worried about it I think and yeah That’s why we do things like autism’s got talent and we get so many people that come along and you know I’ve had people who said oh we didn’t expect to be entertained or I had a GP that came along and said I’m gonna think Differently now about when I speak to families who’ve got children on the spectrum He was quite shocked to see that they could sing well. They could act well that they had fantastic artwork capabilities There were some more magicians and were comedians.

He just couldn’t get his head around that. They’re normal people I know it’s just like and I found that quite shocking of a GP But you know and when we’re doing an awareness event we do a lot of these in businesses And I can talk we can talk everything and we would have two people sitting on the panel who have autism But look and sound like everybody else and suddenly you say you mean they’ve got autism But that’s what we’re talking about. It’s like until they actually the penny drops. These are people who just think differently.

That’s right It’s very hard That’s why most of my ambassadors role models charity champions are on the spectrum So whenever I go to do a talk like for example, I’m going to Cork in September I’m taking one of my ambassadors with me and that Daniel who’s autistic and a fantastic opera singer and He’s going to come along with me. He’s going to speak He’s going to talk about his experience and he’s going to sing and going to showcase So he’s really excited about that and he’s excited about being an ambassador So yeah, it’s just about basically just battering the door down really isn’t it? It’s about raising awareness first of all then understanding and acceptance and then acceptance and tolerance I mean, that’s really what it’s all about, you know, and this whole thing of difference So where can you see aspirations going?

So if someone said to you five years ten years time, what do you want for aspiration? I’m not sure I’ll still be here in ten years.

[Speaker 2] (22:16 – 22:18)
I’m sure you will know where I’m guess going

[Speaker 1] (22:18 – 23:11)
Um, I never I don’t work like that because the world is so unpredictable today and I don’t think you could predict anything I do think that what we’re hoping is to remove the stigma totally and I do think we’ll do it because with the digital World where actually I think a lot of people think Autistically in fact my son says actually everything the whole world will be autistic We’re neurotypicals will be the underdogs in those days And I think there is something in that because people are beginning to think like robots, you know They think of binary and that is autistic thinking very much So so I would like aspirations obviously to make inroads that all employers see Autistic people as a bonus more than anything else an advantage to have somebody with autistic thinking And that everybody else accepts them in the same way. They accept just other people So if a company was to contact aspirations, can you just talk through so there might be company out there listening in and thinking Oh, I might like to contact.

[Speaker 2] (23:12 – 23:12)
Oh, I hope so.

[Speaker 1] (23:12 – 39:08)
Yeah, so what what’s the process and what will they get when they’re content? Well, remember aspirations has to live and we live through our revenue Okay, and so we charge companies to be what we call ASD fit and friendly Okay, which means that we help them to attract to recruit to develop and to retain Talent with an ASD. Okay, so we do all kinds of things starting with the awareness events Audits of their recruitment process because that’s often where it ends that people just don’t get in Sensory audits as well over the environment lots of training as well of colleagues All different things to make sure that when they employ autistic people and the people already within remember who are masking it They’re going to get the best chance of it all being successful And they’re going to be able to get the advantage of having an innovative creative autistic mind Can you talk to me about a company without naming them?

Um, that’s gone through the process and and have they employed any Adults on the spectrum. Um, it’s difficult for me to do that. We’re working with a very very big organization at the moment.

Okay and After our work they’ve completely changed their recruitment processes because they realized and we’ve just got Somebody employed into their apprentice program and apparently out of a hundred people who applied Only the one with autism got through and really was the one who had all the needs Answered all their needs. I do believe that why we’re different at aspirations is that we are balancing Aligning and balancing and identifying the needs of both big organizations and the community and that’s very important not asking impractical things from either Okay, so let’s sort of because we’re about well-being and for me my well-being is shopping I don’t smoke. I don’t drink.

I have to have something. So can you just briefly tell me a little bit about concept shopping? Oh dear.

Um, I didn’t know you were going to ask me that not very good at advertising concept shopping is something again I started nearly 50 years ago. Very proud of myself way ahead of the curve. Basically it is Fantastic clothes that are sourced only from a private group of women who shop the world Are discriminating and really get rid of their wardrobes very very quickly And those clothes are sold to a completely different group of people who come to see us by appointment in private surroundings And it grows and grows and grows.

We’re answering a need that doesn’t nobody else seems to answer. I have to say that Yeah, I remember when I came to your office. I can’t remember It’s been about a month ago now and I saw all the clothes all thinking oh I’m a sweetie shop It’s like Aladdin’s cave But I will tell you and I can look you in as it nobody ever comes who doesn’t find anything having said that it is high End, you know, it is designer clothes, but at very reasonable prices, but that’s what it is So can anyone pop along and no, it’s no definitely not.

It’s a very secure environment People have to contact us first We want when people come them to put their bags down take the jewelry up feel very relaxed And we can only do that if it’s done by appointment. Okay, and i’m not there all the time anyway, obviously So, um, I just wanted to briefly talk about autumn’s got talent again We’re looking for performers to showcase their talents in rise slip We went there last week to check it out and with the dressing rooms and everything So the closing day is going to be the end of august And the show is on october the 12th. It’s going to be at winston churchill theater in rise slip Um fantastic space for us and um, please come along and we’re also going to be showcasing again on the katie price show So you’ll see um some of the highlights from st Ides roadshow and i’m pleased to say we’re going to be going back there again next year So check out the charity website the event page Anna kennedy online Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio station is all about diversity from opinions career ethnicity Education and most importantly women’s well-being we aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere Providing opportunities and the platform for your voice visit our website women’s radio station.com for more information I’m tamina zaman founder of empower and enrich when it comes to money. Do you climb up or get confused?

Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don’t know where to start At empower and enrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances And learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy affordable way Get in touch with me at empower and enrich.org and let’s change your future together Hello, my name is natasha and calla her welcome to you lovely lady listeners of your very own women’s radio station Over the coming months i’ll be doing a survey and big brand coffee shops interviewing customers asking why they like to drink coffee and if they would like to give us a health tip for our listeners The most shared and liked post will be the winner of a prize Stay tuned for further details Hi, i’m carolyn van viers, please join me for a brand new show here on women’s radio station It’s mother’s hour If like me you’re a mom juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them This is definitely the show for you We’ll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together With spoonfuls of advice incredible stories It will be refreshing honest and funny. Look at being a mum Are you struggling with money?

Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet Job loss illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis We give practical help to get people back on track whether you’re thinking of having a baby Trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to We can help visit turn to us.org.uk Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities including individual programs We can tailor your experience for you For more information on how you can sponsor a show go to women’s radio station.com Women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Hello, this is anna kennedy.

We’re talking all things autism We’re live in coven garden and my guest today is laurel herman. We’re in the midst of the summer holidays How are you all coping with all the children being off on holiday? Some parents when I speak to them They love the holidays because obviously the children haven’t got the restrictions of going to school So a little bit more relaxed while you’ve got other parents who are really suffering and really trying to keep the routine going Because children like to go to school and they like their routine So I did mention to you about options and they’ve got their advice sheets and there’s a lot of people that are looking up There’s so much information out there. It’s very very useful and they’ve got an advice sheet on autism friendly holidays So some of the things that they’re sharing is a visual calendar to count down the days until the holidays Commence allows the person with autism time to process and envisage When the change is going to take place how long the holidays will last for and when they will be over and they’ll return to the normal routine Making an all about me profile can help reduce anxiety in the person with autism as this allows them to Express their likes their dislikes their needs their wants allowing them choice and it can also be given to people They will interact with during the holidays Create social stories, which is something I do for angela for new routines and behavioral expectations For example going to a new place using public transport visiting relatives Something else is great that I used to do and also when we moved house was practice runs because obviously Both my sons had lived in the same house for 20 years and then moving, you know There’s just something new and you’ve got the smells you’ve got the new rooms the new bedrooms So lots of practice runs. I used to just sometimes just drive up to the house sit outside with angela And we just used to sit there and just look at the house for a little while I asked if it was possible if I could put one or two of angela’s belongings in the bedroom that he was going to be staying In so what we did was um, the lady very kindly said that was okay So we went along we put a few of angela’s bits and bobs there So then when we moved in they were still there in the place that we so that really helped So you just got to keep thinking out of the box What is going to work for our sons and daughters to make life?

Less stressful for them and less stressful for us So laurel for me i’m always banging on about early intervention because the earlier you work with children with autism or autistic children They’re better the outcomes. What’s your opinion? Well, my personal opinion is absolutely because we are picking up Many many stories where parents actually are putting their head in the sand.

They don’t want to admit it. Um It’s like lots of things. I think when you go through divorce people say I really knew but I didn’t want to hear my little voice But what we’re finding is that if parents don’t acknowledge it and they just think it’s something else That eventually other problems transpire which are far harder to deal with for that child And very often this is where the mental health and the lack of well-being comes in So I would say to a parent and I do because i’m very forthright. It’s okay Accept it and get on with it. It might not be what you would have chosen Okay, that’s the twists and turns of life, but it is what it is.

Now. Just make the best of it We were chatting Um when we were um just before we came in we were talking about anxiety Yeah, so anxiety for the individual and also anxiety for the parents because I very much know that same I’m worrying about something both my sons pick up really quickly on the way i’m feeling even though. Angelo is Nonverbal, you know minimal verbal skills, you’ll know if i’ve got a really bad headache or i’m worrying about something You’ll just come up to me.

You’ll either give me a little kiss on the cheek or you’ll just stroke my cheek I’ll just touch the top of my head. It’s almost like the intuitive where patrick gets quite anxious If I am anxious and he’ll keep asking me if i’m okay. Are you okay mum?

Are you okay mum? Yeah, i’m fine patrick, but he can obviously i’m saying the words, but he knows i’m not fine So what can we talk a little bit about anxiety? I don’t have those experiences I have to say what I would say as a neurotypical is that when I feel anxiety and other people like me It’s kind of fear or something like that.

It’s just natural anxiety about something But what i’ve learned is I don’t know if you saw the play the curious incident of the nighttime in the dark Which for a lot of neurotypicals was fantastic. My son said no There were a lot of things of course that he didn’t agree with that’s that’s how autistic people think never completely right but when I saw on that train station that You know all that yeah, that’s how I see Anxiety is probably in many autistic people where the world shakes and it’s so much more Encompassing than we can ever realize but it’s inner very often Now i’m not talking obviously about very autistic or highly autistic I have to say but with people who have an invisible difference, they have that anxiety, but you don’t see it But that’s where the problems come from And I think those of us have to understand that that anxiety leads to depression and mental breakdown very often So it is something we’ve got to be much more aware of than we are at the moment If you had to so say for example, there’s a parent who’s going through the diagnosis process And you had to give them some advice or even some advice to your younger self. What advice would you give?

Oh, where is my younger self? I don’t know. I don’t remember what a younger self looked yesterday was a younger self But I don’t think that’s what you actually mean um I think it’s difficult for me to say because remember I didn’t experience this until my children were all grown up I do know i’ve spoken to an awful lot of parents remembering we’re not dealing as it were with children We are dealing with adults and we are dealing with people with an invisible difference So it’s a different end of the spectrum, but of course i’ve become mrs.

Autism So everybody like you phones me up with all kinds of problems All I would say is it is what it is But there’s a lot going on out there now that wasn’t there before and i’m hearing marvelous things of helping children How to cope with things it’s the coping mechanisms in the days before That’s why high functioning people on autism were masking it because they didn’t understand why the world didn’t understand them In fact, my son said something to me very interestingly when he was diagnosed with mom I never quite understood. I always thought I was on the other side of a mirror.

Okay Interesting terminology it is. Can I ask another thing as well? If you don’t mind you don’t have to answer i’ve spoken to parents.

Oh when you say that, of course, I get all that I have spoken to parents that have adults That diagnosed, you know, not just as children and they once they’ve been diagnosed with autism. It’s almost like A free reign to be autistic. You know what I mean?

Yes. So did that happen with your son without you know I have noticed and my son will tell you he has become more autistic Yeah But what I mean by that he’s hidden so many things that now he actually allows to come out And particularly because we’re in an environment where we have to accept those things It’s very difficult for when you have a family of autistic and non-autistic in terms of Um, sometimes there’s friction in family as you know, it’s not always easy living with someone on the spectrum And other people say well, come on it’s not always autism It could just be him. Yeah, and it’s very difficult to actually then deal with that and the answer has to be yes But he has autism And it can be and it is a handicap in today’s world. Yeah, I notice um And my son won’t mind me saying this because he says it himself and he actually puts it publicly on social media that he had a passion for dinosaurs and I always thought he’s going to be a paleontologist and he Loved them so much since he was about six or seven years old And then he masked it and didn’t want to tell anyone for throughout his teenagers and now in his 20s He’s gone completely opposite and it’s just all about dinosaurs his topic of conversation is about them About you know, the history or any particular films. He’s you know, and obviously he’s working at pinewood studio In his element But it’s just that I just find that it takes over our life sometimes and it’s just that can be particularly hard One of the characteristics of this but anything that we ever say is not everybody we have to remember Yeah is an obsession with something But what I found with my son is that if he’s talking to you and he loves the conversation, right and he will I’ll get a very black look if I try and interrupt or something or if you want to actually break the composition to something else Sometimes it’s difficult.

Yeah, because that’s the way the mind is going very targeted in a particular subject Do you feel sometimes you’re on like groundhog do? Yeah, of course I do That’s a good mission on radio, but of course I do yeah, I get that a lot It’s not easy And uh, it’s not easy We know that and for any parent and when it’s the good times Enjoy the good times because sometimes there’s going to be more difficult ones. I’m very realistic very down to earth You know, I have people saying oh, it’s fantastic I’ve got autistic children.

Oh, it’s marvelous. It’s wonderful Okay That’s okay.

[Speaker 2] (39:08 – 39:08)
Do you believe that?

[Speaker 1] (39:09 – 43:59)
Do you really believe it? It isn’t wonderful, but it can be you make the best of it. You take from it what you can we’re talking about Miss diagnosis and girls and talking about yeah, uh masking anorexia and so Shall we talk a little bit?

Well originally it was considered a very male condition You know that and people used to laugh and say, you know typical men black and white. Yeah Um, and yes, there is something in that but lately they have found many many more women are now being diagnosed They found that the actual diagnosis the tests were skewed. So there’d be questions there You know something like you have to answer.

What is it 42 or 90 questions or something and women would say yes Yes, yes women would say no. No. No because like social skills because women can do that We are more sociable.

And so at the end of that test there were more no’s on the paper more Yes, so the result was oh, no, you’re not autistic But since then they’ve realized it was the tests and the wording So now there’s a lot of women being diagnosed and unfortunately previously a lot of those were being diagnosed with different conditions right that actually Were being treated and therefore they had breakdowns because it wasn’t they weren’t touching the core of the problem It was autism. So we’ve got lots of different women now on board with us who are fantastic. Oh, that’s great Yeah, it’s really it’s a different approach as well.

Okay So, where do you recruit your people from for aspirations? Whether they come it just comes because word of mouth now people talk because we have a different approach because we’re not a charity Because of the way that we’re looking at life very practically And because we want people to be our ambassadors like you for you the same way saying these are people who are not necessarily Severely autistic they’re people just who are different Can we remind people there’s any businesses out there that might be interested?

What is the website address? Thank you for that aspirations.org aspirations with an e in the middle aspi e R-a-t-i-o-n-s dot org anyone in um any social media Oh, I knew you were going for something at aspirations UK, okay. Don’t ask me to facebook or linkedin i’m going to get in terrible trouble now for not knowing it But anyone can actually phone us if they go to the website the phone number Okay, we’ll give it or do a search linkedin as well.

Okay. Thank you Um, so again, if you’re interested in being one of my speakers, i’m actually booked up right now until the middle of september So if you’d like to be one of my speakers on all things autism, please contact me, um on the charity website Which is www.anna kennedy online.com. There’s a contact form or you can contact me via social media You can see what i’m up to i’m always sharing every day where i’m going what i’m doing So that’s at anna kennedy one on twitter Anna kennedy online on facebook and at anna kennedy obi on instagram anything you might like to share with me That might be useful.

Please message me and I will share it across social media Welcome to women’s radio station i’m sarah louise ryan and welcome to love lessons live on women’s radio station Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me stepana passamante on women’s radio station Hello and welcome to julie is listening. Hi This is anna kennedy and we’re at women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being and we’re talking all things autism women The possibilities are endless. That’s what makes us different Hi, i’m tracy weeden of brown here insurance group We are an award-winning family-run insurance broker covering a wide range of insurance products Ranging from commercial lines to personal household high net worth and fine art.

You can contact us on 0208 658 4334 Or visit our website www.brownhillgroup.co.uk for your free no obligation quotation at brown hills. We’ve got you covered Hi, i’m lauren michigan I’m a birth doula and mum of three and i’m passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experience Please join me for my brand new show from tummy to mummy here on women’s radio station Every week i’ll be here with an expert guest talking about women’s reproductive health Everything fertility pregnancy birth and baby related right through to the menopause and beyond Please join us for an informative and fun hour Hi, i’m hazel butterfield a blogger book lover and mental health advocate And you can listen to my show get booked here at women’s radio station daily at 5 am and 5 pm Throughout my shows we’ll talk about the books i’ve read new releases chapter authors publishers and book enthusiasts All with a theme and aim of supporting women’s emotional well-being If you have a book to tell us about get in touch At presenters at women’s radio station.com join me on my show and share my love of books and writing

[Speaker 2] (43:59 – 44:26)
Hi, i’m valentina barbachi and i’m the executive director of media matters for women We’re a registered charity operating in sierra leone and the democratic republic of congo And we produce and share podcasts via bluetooth and mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access own and share information To find out more and be part of this movement.

[Speaker 1] (44:26 – 48:01)
Come check out our website at media matters for women.org You’re listening to women’s radio stations supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio stations creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved Join us on instagram and twitter at women’s radio station. That’s women’s radio stn Or facebook women’s radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs Hello, this is anna kennedy and we’re talking all things autism. We’re live in common garden and it’s a rainy day Yesterday, I was asked Last minute to speak on lbc as I am asked many times And it was an article that i’d actually read the day before which I had to read it again to make sure that Is this actually correct?

So basically a 10 year old boy with special needs who complained of bullying was forced by staff at the school To listen to his classmates listing the reasons they didn’t let me say that again They didn’t like him and had to write these on a hand-drawn poster that was then stuck on his classroom wall for weeks I had a look at the poster and basically he’d drawn himself with glasses and it’s saying how can I get the other children? To like me Stop shouting. Stop screaming.

Stop annoying us Stop making noises I just Like I couldn’t get my head around it. I thought if that was my son I would have gone into the school and I would have raised ruckions. I then thought looked in The dictionary I thought let me just go back there and think what is the definition of a teacher?

So a teacher sets the tone of their classroom builds a warm environment Mental and nurture students become role models Listen to signs of trouble. The most common role of a teacher is to play Basically plays in the classroom is to teach knowledge to children. So for me That teacher did not Fill that role and as far as i’m concerned they either need to look for another job or Need to have some training And apparently the father said that he didn’t know about this until months afterwards when he was allowed to bring the poster home from the wall To his house and they said they was wondering why his behavior was basically not doing very well at school So that for me is just I just couldn’t get my head around it at all. So It was topic of conversation across social media. What do you think of that then Laurel?

It fills me with such horror I could but I have heard many stories similar about schools on the other hand I’ve had a fantastic schools fantastic teachers Yeah, which have been absolutely the right thing for those parents and put them on the right path There obviously is an enormous journey that has to be created for teachers Just like doctors just like nurses as you were saying before people just need to understand what this is all about But we can’t believe that are in our education system. They don’t and that 10 year old boy Is that palliative memory from school as I remember that when I was younger nothing like that But I used to have really long hair And it used to wear it in a ponytail and the teacher one of the teachers used to love Pulling my hair and it really hurt me and she thought was funny and for me I remember that and it was geography and that’s probably why i’m rubbish at finding places Because I used to switch off in her lessons when she used to talk about coordinates and different Topics to do with geography.

[Speaker 2] (48:01 – 48:01)
It’s true.

[Speaker 1] (48:02 – 48:35)
It’s actually true I went to a girl’s school and we actually had nuns that were looking after us They were horrendous. They used to hit us across the knuckles with a ruler We used to have to write lines Um, like for example I always remember these lines because everybody in the class had to do it so many times in subordination will not be tolerated by pupils Of the law school whose ill manner and long tongues have led to the writing of this line And i’d written that so many times that I i’ve just remembered it But those are the sort of experiences that I remember from a girl’s school. So you’ve come out pretty normal considering But it hurts it still hurts doesn’t it?

[Speaker 2] (48:35 – 48:35)
Yes

[Speaker 1] (48:35 – 56:28)
Um, so tell me a little bit about what you’re looking for from the community and working with organizations Well, I explained to you that we’re trying to align the needs of both businesses and the community and seeing it from both ends Not expecting too much from either But what we realize is there’s a lot of these talented able individuals with autism Who need to be business relevant businesses are going to employ them. They need more than just their qualifications So we set out an incredible program of doing things with them and whereas we’ve done it bits and starts, you know doing it free We don’t have any money.

Remember that so a lot of our autism professionals have helped us, but we can’t go on doing that Particularly because as our name is getting known people are actually approaching us. So we need funding for that We need help either through donations through crowdfunding or through foundations through grants through csr through any route So any of your listeners who could help us to a route to funding or would like to give us some money, of course, right? We would be very very Appreciative and do lots of things to work with them, you know in that light.

So anyone that’s what we really need Yeah, that’s what laurel is putting a shout out. Please contact aspirations if you feel you can support them All businesses opportunities in business where we get revenue. Okay, but really it’s any it’s all about money Unfortunately, so that we can carry on doing what we’re doing.

Yeah, our charity, um doesn’t get any grants We rely on donations or sponsorships or again anyone out there listening that can support both of us. That’d be fantastic Before the show we were talking about pain Angelo obviously can’t tell me when he’s in pain and it’s very much a guessing game And there’s things that I notice about him because obviously he’s not able to say mom I’ve got a headache So I know he’s got a little vein under his left heart eye So if it pumps up, I know that he might have a headache or something If he’s got a temperature the back of his neck gets very very hot and usually he lies down and um That’s something that Angelo ever does. He’s quite active. He’s always jumping up and down or gets very excitable So there’s little things that we notice Um, so what what about um yawson?

Would he tell you that he was in pain? Well, this is something that I think parents need to be aware of the story i’m going to tell you So my son was definitely already in his 40s as far as i’m concerned Understood pain normally like we all do like my other children did I can’t remember any problems in his life And suddenly one morning he came in to me and told me he didn’t feel well and I kind of didn’t take much Notice told him take his temperature wasn’t a very sympathetic mom.

It was sunday morning and suddenly walked in I said I think we better go to the hospital. Well, I was in bed working I flew out got him into the car in seconds and suddenly I had a great big hulking brute Unconscious sitting next to me. I can’t tell you what it did We went to um an a&e on a sunday morning and the end of this story is eight hours later Is they admitted him and he had an emergency kidney operation.

Oh, wow Now if you speak to any men who’ve had a kidney stone, apparently it’s worse than having babies right for men You know their pain threshold is lower, but everyone said the pain is excruciating But he didn’t feel the pain in the same way. He knew he wasn’t well We can’t get to the bottom of it now because he denies it and says he did but I can tell you for eight hours He was hyperventilating. He told us that he couldn’t feel his feet.

He could be it was on oxygen I thought he was dying And it was a kidney stone Now that makes us realize that he doesn’t feel pain in the same way So now if he says he has a headache, you know, what kind of headache is it? Which is you know He doesn’t know the difference between what we would know as a pressure headache or a pain at the back of the head or something like that But I know that now and so it’s really important for other mothers to know this and recognize it because It’s not what we would know as and you’re typical. So just be aware.

I mean you’re aware of it Obviously anna, but you’re different or special you’re aware of everything but not everybody else is particularly People who haven’t had experience of autism before even my son Patrick is quite obviously very articulate and has lots of interest But even when he has a headache I say to him Do you think you might need a couple of parapsay more because I could see he’s suffering But he wouldn’t actually just go and get them himself He needs that prompt as if to say and now I realize that my son also had a kind of confusion between drugs So if I said you need to get something I don’t do drugs Yeah, because he knew drugs were wrong, right?

But obviously that any drugs he couldn’t perhaps see the difference between a drug was helping you And recreational drugs that we were saying were wrong for the kids to take while talking about recreational drugs My son goes to the pub with his friends and I just can’t believe how readily available drugs are He’s saying he’s offered them so many times. I said you haven’t taken anything I mean you went no mom I wouldn’t he said but you just go into the pub and they just want to sell and it’s not that they do it Secretly, it’s just like out in the open. Would you like so I think this is the problem Isn’t it with vulnerable youngsters?

That’s where they’re using them for all these kind of things, which is just terrible You’re obviously a busy lady Not quite as busy. I mean everyone thought I was busy till We met you and then when you left my office the other day I have to tell you everyone thinks that i’m a turbo, but you’re a super super super turbo, right? I don’t know about that But let’s talk about relaxation because obviously this is a station about women’s well-being So what do you do for your well-being?

Well, i’m going to sound like a nutty person now. Okay hiding my cupboards Yes No, it’s absolutely it means you’re putting your life in order Actually, that’s where it comes from when everything else is wrong and you can’t put those things, right? I told you i’m going to fix it.

You’re going to tidy your cupboards. That’s one thing But more important than that. I didn’t watch television for 35 years except on election nights or when it was a war I just didn’t have time.

Well, like you I was just came home and there’s always so much to do I like watching rubbish. Tell me well recently i’ve discovered television Oh and I have to tell you in the times that I watch the programs I watch which is like london kills or something I realize my brain is switched off. It’s the only time so yes relaxation when i’m old I will read books Right all the books that people recommend to me and have been for the last 50 years, but i’m not there yet I find it hard reading a book.

It’s just the concentration is in my brain Well, that’s what I mean, but these television programs the ones i’m all about forensic. I love that You know line of duty you’re into that. Yeah, we’ve watched every one of those So i’m looking for new actual recommendations Because I think we’ve run through all the like waking the dead all because I didn’t see all those years ago Oh, okay and silent witness so catching up.

Yes And that’s my relaxation. I know it’s weird how you can just switch off when watching this You can just get lost in the program. I don’t realize I am till afterwards and I realized I was completely relaxed Starting at the television show was gone.

It’s only a program You notice how autism is coming in as well now to definitely Yeah, the a word they’re making a new series i’ve been to um the past two premieres Um, I was invited by peter barker as a script writer And i’ve made friends with a couple of the actors and they’ve been asking me like, you know various different things We were actually asked about vbc to go and talk to some of the script writers so they could introduce Characters who again with invisible autism so that people began to understand it Mind you that hasn’t yet transpired, but I think it’s a really good one Yeah, I know there’s quite a few films out there.

Some of them are good. Some of them are not so good I just watched something called the accountant Um, which had ben affleck in that was okay And what about doctor, you know, the funny the doctor in jersey who’s obviously got oh, yes Oh, what’s that called? Doc martin.

Yes, he’s obviously or to anyone who knows and yet they don’t want to mention it He’s fine That’s a point that’s very important. We’re hearing that and a lot of marriages and relationships Something needs to be done to help people who are actually coupling with someone on the spectrum Well, I may not be aware of it. I think we’ve covered a lot of topics in this hour I just like to thank you so much laurel for coming along.

[Speaker 2] (56:28 – 56:28)
Thank you.

[Speaker 1] (56:28 – 59:57)
Thank you. Thank you for talking to me about aspirations Just to remind everyone last last go aspirations.org aspi r-a-t-i-o-n-s dot org or laurel at aspirations Dot org email me. Thank you so much And I hope everyone has a good week and if you want to ask me any questions Please contact us on the charity website if it’s for laurel and you haven’t quite picked up the address Just message me and I will pass on the messages to all.

Thank you very much everyone and goodbye Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity Education and most importantly women’s well-being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere Providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website women’sradiostation.com for more information I’m Tamina Zaman founder of empower and enrich when it comes to money. Do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don’t know where to start At empowerandenriched.org You will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances And learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy affordable way Get in touch with me at empowerandenriched.org and let’s change your future together Hello, my name is Natasha Ann Kelleher. Welcome to you lovely lady listeners of your very own women’s radio station Over the coming months. I’ll be doing a survey and big brand coffee shops interviewing customers asking why they like to drink coffee and if they would like to give us a health tip for our listeners The most shared and liked post will be the winner of a prize Stay tuned for further details Hi, i’m carolyn van biers, please join me for a brand new show here on women’s radio station It’s mother’s hour If like me you’re a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them This is definitely the show for you We’ll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together With spoonfuls of advice incredible stories It will be refreshing honest and funny look at being a mum Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet Job loss illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis We give practical help to get people back on track whether you’re thinking of having a baby Trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to We can help visit turn to us.org.uk Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being Women’s radio station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities including individual programs We can tailor your experience for you For more information on how you can sponsor a show go to women’s radio station.com women’s radio station supporting women’s well-being

0 0 votes
Article Rating
0 Comments
Most Voted
Newest Oldest
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x