All Things Autism – Lauren Lovejoy

Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we're talking all things autism. Oh, and it's a really chilly day today, but hey, I'm sure our conversation will warm you up as I chat to one of my guests very, very soon. So just to remind you, as I always do, that we are looking for Autism's Got Talent performers. So the closing date is at the end of May, so if you feel that you might like to perform for us on stage, whether you're a singer or a dancer, we're We're looking for more creative talent, so if you play the guitar, whether it's acoustic, electric, a comedian, a magician, whatever it is that you do, we want to see your talent. So all the information is on the charity website, just to remind you, www.annakenedionline.com, and send in your auditions with a short bio, and all the information is on the charity website. We're also excited about going to the roadshow, collaborating with Daisy Chain, So that will be happening in May. So we'll be announcing very, very soon who the performers are going to be for that roadshow at the Globe Theatre in Stockton, which is from my neck of the woods in the Northeast. So I'm excited about that. And also we have announced another exciting project with one of my ambassadors, overseas ambassadors, Danny Bowman, who is the founder of DannyMation. We are going to be doing Autism's Got Talent in the United States. It. How exciting is that? It's going to have a bit of a different format, but more news will be shared soon. And we only put it out a couple of days ago and the inbox is already full. But you know, we will still be taking in auditions and we will send more information out to everybody as soon as we know. We also have the Awesome Expo at Brunel University. As you know, we had to postpone it because of the train strikes fingers crossed it won't be happening again. So that will be happening in June. So all the information is on the charity website. And if you want to follow me on social media, whether you want to see what I'm up to or any information that I share, or if you want to see me doing my Friday wiggle or Sunday wiggle, because you know I'm a lover of dance, that is all on social media. So it's @AnnaKennedy1 on Twitter, Anna Kennedy Online on Facebook, and @AnnaKennedyOBE on Instagram. If you would like to be one of my guests, please contact us. We are always looking for guests, so whether you're a professional, whether you're a parent, whether you're a carer, an autistic adult, please, please send in a little bit about yourself and what you'd like to chat about, and Lisa will be in contact. So, um, I just wanted to share a couple of books. As you know, I always get sent to me, so one of them is The Adventures of Pop Fantastic and His Superpowers. Sorry, I've just dropped something on the floor. So, um, Pop Fantastic and His Autism Superpowers by David and Amy Fox, and the illustrations are by Merve Terzi, spelled T-E-R-Z-I. So meet Pop. Pop is 7 years old, autistic, and full of fun. Sometimes feeling like he doesn't fit in, an adventure in a strange new land shows Pop that the things that make him different also make him very special. Follow Pop on his fantastic adventures. There's school worksheets that accompany this book as well, and they can be downloaded from the website where you can purchase the book. It's £6.99, and it's www.popfantastic.com. Just repeat that again: www.popfantastic.com. Lovely little book, £6.99, and you can get resources from the website. One more book I'd just like to share with you is Message Grace Book Brings to autistic people is you're not alone. Approaching Autistic Adult: The Road Less Travelled by Grace Liu. So from managing autistic burnout to surviving work to dealing with people, neurotypicals, explaining autism, this book is packed with informal advice, entertaining anecdotes, and shrewd observations about life as an autistic adult. Maybe it become a valuable— so it may, it may become a valuable guide for autistic people and neurotypical medical allies alike. So Grace has been blogging about autism since 2013. She has written for the National Autistic Society and appeared on the Thoughty Auty podcast and the Potty Mouth podcast. Grace lives in the Midlands of England with her parents, and she's got 3 cats. So if you're interested, you can buy this book from Panamar Press. So that's www.panamarpress.com. It's £12.99, and very informative book with some illustrations and some bullet points for easy reading as well. So Approaching Autistic Adulthood: The Road Less Travelled. So one of my guests today, she's been a past guest a little while ago now, a few years ago, and it's one of my charity ambassadors, the lovely Lauren Lovejoy. Hello, Lauren, how are you? Hello, lovely. I'm very well, thank you. And thank you for having me on your show today. Oh, thank you. I was trying to remember how long ago when you spoken to me on, uh, Women's Radio. I know we've spoken on Gateway with Aston, but I just couldn't remember how long ago. Can you remember? Is it a couple of years? I think it was 2 years ago. Yeah, 2 years ago. Um, so Lauren— I met up with Lauren, which we're going to chat about, um, oh, a couple of weeks ago now when she was doing something very exciting. We were very proud of her. So before we go to talk about autism, before we talk about everything that you do, Who is Lauren? Let the listeners hear a little bit of a snapshot of who you are, Lauren. Okay, so my name is Lauren Lovejoy and I was born in Nottingham, June 19th, 1989, um, raised by my mother, um, as my father left when I was 3. And she's done a very good job as well, I've got to admit. She brought up 2 children, me and my sister, who's me. And, um, I was diagnosed with autism when I was 14, but I didn't find out till I was 17, which is probably— I think was actually quite a good thing because I was bullied at school, and my mum just thought if I had a label at the time, um, it might make things worse in school, if that makes sense. Okay, so, um, what type of things were you doing at school, as in what subjects What were you doing? So I did math— is it math? Yeah, math, science, geography, music, PE, which I absolutely hated. Sorry, I'm being honest. Um, so I did all sorts of different subjects at school, and I also did art as well. What was your favorite? My favorite, believe it or not, wasn't actually music. Even though I love music, I struggled a lot on the theory side of things. I'm better with the practical side of music, but my favorite was art. Okay, so what type of things did you like to draw? Was it pencil drawing, painting? Painting, and I did a lot of Andy Warhol. Oh wow. Yes. Do you still paint now? Pardon? Do you still paint now? Yes, I do. I do painting by numbers, actually. A friend introduced it to me about a year ago. She did a painting of my cat. And I thought, wow, that's incredible. So I've decided to do that. I find it very therapeutic. So I do painting by numbers and I do a lot of coloring, and it's just a really good way of helping to relax my mind. Okay, so you diagnosed when you were 14, but you didn't find out until you were 17. So what did you think you were doing when you were sort of going through the process when you were 14? Is it because you were struggling at school or Well, I was struggling a lot at school. I had learning difficulties, but I always had someone sort of to help me, you know, like, what do you call it, like someone that sort of helped me. Like a one-to-one? Was it a mentor or a support worker? Support worker, support worker. Okay. I struggled just a lot with writing. I struggle writing. My writing's not very readable, and also my vision I struggled with a lot, so I had things sort of enlarged so it was easier for me to read. But also, I always noticed I was different because I had like this fascination with different materials, and I see the world in a different way, and I tend to categorize people as animals, as, um, and I just stood out because I was different and I never really fitted in. So categorize people as animals, do you mind elaborating a little bit on that? And and, and how that works for you. Yeah, so when I see people, and sometimes I don't always see it straight away, but I start sort of seeing— not like physical, um, physical characteristics, but start seeing in— when I look into people's eyes, I start sensing an animal. It's really hard to explain. And I think maybe because I was bullied, I think I started doing that because I love animals and it made me feel more comfortable. Okay, and my son always says he loves animals. He says you can trust animals. He said you'd rather be with animals than humans sometimes. No, that's true. Yeah. So if you don't mind, what animal did you see me as? Or have you not sort of seen that with me? I see you as a meerkat. Wow. So why do you think that is? Because you're tall and slim and you work so hard, and but then every so often you pop out and you, you have this fun dance and, and you pop out into the light. Okay, okay, that's an interesting way of seeing it. Um, so thank you for that. So I'll share that. So with your Asperger's or autism, what do you like to be saying now? Because obviously some people don't like to be diagnosed as Asperger's with everything, you know, all the recent media outburst about Asperger's. So do you prefer Asperger's or autism? I, well, I say asparagus. Okay. I say asparagus, but I don't mind, I don't mind Asperger's, to be honest with you. Yeah, so, but I always say the word asparagus. It's like a fun way of saying Asperger's. Okay, so when you were first diagnosed then, what did you think? Did you do some research to find out a little bit more about it? And then when you were reading it, did you think, oh yes, this is me? So when I first found out, it was actually at my doctor's because I'd got beaten up and basically my nose had been broken And the doctor checked and he said, do you think this could be because of your Asperger's syndrome? And I looked and I thought he'd said asparagus. And I said to my mum, what? I'm not green. This is actually what happened. I said, Mum, what do you mean I'm an asparagus? What does that mean? And she said, oh, I was going to talk to you about it. And I, I went through counseling and then had the scans and it turned out my nose was broken, so I got the operation. However, However, that's when I first obviously found out, and they had to sort of check it wasn't to do with me being insecure because of being bullied in the past and things like that. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that you were being bullied. Obviously, um, I have spoken to you in the past and you have shared some, um, information about it, but obviously this is your, um, time to share what you feel comfortable with. So, um, with reference to your diagnosis? What positives can you pull from it? Well, the positives I pull from it is I feel that my Asperger's and being bullied has given me the ability to write a lot of my music. Okay. And because of my Asperger's, I see things like— even people who don't have autism obviously are very talented and creative too, but for me I believe that if I didn't have Asperger's syndrome, I wouldn't be as creative as I am. And because I struggled so academically at school, to me, writing and music and be able to hear like music in my head and things given me— sorry, has given me the ability to be able to, to be very creative. Okay, so when, when was— when did your passion for singing start? My passion for singing started— well, a friend of mine was a singer at school, and, um, and she basically had a friend who was going to perform with her who, who decided she couldn't perform anymore, and she asked me if I'd like to sing with her. And at that point I thought, I don't know if I can sing or not. And I sang Moon River, and I really enjoyed it, and so I decided to have some singing lessons. I was classically trained, and then I wanted to record my own first record when I was 21 called Broken, and I discovered I had a deep voice, and I just thought, you know what, this is something I enjoy doing. So I started, um, writing my own songs and doing more covers. Oh, you know what, you've got an amazing voice, and I love your style as well because you're really creative about the way you dress, the way you do your hair, even your makeup. So you have got an amazing voice. And I think, have people sort of compared you to Amy Winehouse? Yes, Amy, yes. Most, yeah, the most person I'm compared to is Amy Winehouse, yes. Is she one of your favorite singers? Believe it or not, I think Amy Winehouse is amazing, but at the time I didn't actually listen to her music, if that makes sense. Okay. Of listening to it, but she is one of my favorite singers, and I love how she, she does all this jazzy soul, and it's, it's contemporary, but it's still got that beautiful retro twist to it. Yeah. If you had to do, um, a duet with someone, a famous singer, who would you choose? Right, let me think about that for a second. Um, I'd love to perform with Paloma Faith. She's lovely, she's creative as well. I like, I like, I very much like Paloma Faith. Yeah, I could see that, I could see that happening. Sorry, what were we going to say? Lady Gaga too. Oh yeah, she's great, I like her too. Oh yeah, you're choosing all the people that I like. Yeah. So talking to me about your Asperger's syndrome or autism, how does it affect your day-to-day life? So what's the positives and what's the negatives? You've talked to me a little bit about positives with reference to music, but the sort of day-to-day living. Okay, so the positives is that I carry on doing what I'm doing and I never sort of, you know, give up on anything. I will always try, and I, I— it doesn't stop me from sort of pursuing what I like to do, like my music and creative things in my life. But then, uh, I have high sensitivity issues, so, you know, um, there could be a sound and it will really affects me. And in public, because a lot of people don't realize it's, it's a hidden— it's hidden. So people look at me and think, oh, she looks normal. And they don't understand if I, if I suddenly have a— have a— not an episode, but where I panic because of a sound or something, or if I misunderstand what somebody says. But you look normal. And, you know, because it's quite hidden. Does that make sense? Most definitely. And to me, it's like, what is normal anyway? But what does normal look like? But it's— but yeah, I totally get what you're saying. So you have, in the past, you've supported us with the charity and with our anti-bullying campaign, Give Us a Break, and you wrote a single. So I know that you have been bullied in the past. Do you want to share a little bit about, you know, how you came about writing the song and sharing your story and about your mental health, if you don't mind? Yes, so I did a music competition called Open Mic UK and I won a day at the studio and I thought it would be a wonderful idea to actually write a song about, you know, related to bullying and autism and sing it for the charity AKO Online. Way of sort of, um, almost positive to, to inspire others to sort of that they can achieve what they want regardless of, you know, any obstacles they may face from day to day. And the bullying in the past, it sort of inspired me to sort of write, write a song. Um, and sorry, I just went— my brain just went blank. I remember I was at the studio with you and Terry came, our charity photographer. We have photographs as well, didn't It was absolutely wonderful. And yes, I'm going to actually, um, start singing this song again, and I'm going to add some more music to it as well. That would be good. But yes, um, it's— to me, it's really positive, and I just, I just love writing. And it's— I wrote it, it was about— it took me about 20 minutes to write, and I just went in the studio, and, and yeah, and it came along, which is wonderful. Obviously I know who I'm talking to now, and it's just, you know, it's just so wonderful to have that support. So thank you. Oh, thank you for supporting the charity. And obviously I have so many roles, fantastic role models, and within the charity, and obviously you're one of them. So we met through Autism's Got Talent, and as you know, it's been going now for 12 years. And we have the roadshow as well that's happening in May. So if you were to give some advice to someone who was thinking about maybe applying but a little bit apprehensive, talk to people a little bit about your experience and what it did for you. So to me, it's actually the best experience I've ever had performing-wise in my entire life. You go there and everyone is just so lovely and welcoming. You do, you get to see so much different talent, and Anna Kennedy, who runs Autism's Got Talent, is so dedicated to what she does, and she makes you all feel amazing, and you go and it's like it's your chance to sort of shine and to be able to do what you want and what you love to do, and it's a huge, huge opportunity. So I would say if you're planning on possibly wanting to apply, Give it a go. I would definitely go for it because you get that chance to perform, be seen, be heard, but it also encourages other people as well to carry on doing what they love to do, and I think it's an amazing, amazing opportunity. Oh, thank you. So for people who are thinking that they might like to apply, so what happens is you send in your entry to Lisa and You can either do it via YouTube or you can do it via MP3, however you want to send it. A little bit of a bio about yourself, you know, how you got into singing or whatever it is that, um, you want to showcase. And then we go through all of the videos. It just takes so long and it's so hard. And then we have to narrow it down to 20. And then the 20 people that we choose, whether they're in couples, whether in groups, and whether the individuals, then we contact them and then they come down to London at the Mermaid Theatre. So the night before, if you can, you come along and we'll— we do what's called a meet and greet. So you meet myself, you meet my team, you meet the stage manager, you get to walk on the stage, you get to look at the dressing room. So it's not all new. We try and send you as much information as we possibly can before you come along. And then you come on the Saturday morning, so we're all busy bees running around getting everything ready. So everybody sort of turns up just after half 10, and then the technical rehearsal starts just after 11. And then once you've had your technical rehearsal and you feel comfortable with what you're doing on stage, you like the lighting, you like the way it's being produced, then you can go for a walk, have a little bit of a chill out, go and see London, which a lot of people do. And then you need to be back for 5 o'clock so you can be all dressed and spruced up. How are you going to perform? Everyone's on onstage and they have like a group performance and you can feel the buzz in the air and then people go on the red carpet, you get photograph taken on your own in front of the brand board and then photograph with me and Phil who is the main compère and then the doors open at 6 and the show starts at 7 and it just flies by and it's the best thing ever, absolutely love it and then you can guarantee that once everyone has performed and then Next year I start saying, hey, we're doing Autism's Got Talent again, everyone wants to reapply because they've had such a positive experience. But sorry, did you want to say something, Lauren? Sorry, I was just going to add, and what's wonderful is on the day, if you're nervous or there's any— there's always someone there to help, you know, if there's something you want to talk about or if there's something you're not sure about, there's always someone there to help, and it's lovely. Yeah. Yeah, because what happens is my volunteers come along and everyone gets assigned to a volunteer so that if you need anything or you want to ask questions, you go to your volunteer and they look after you. So it's fantastic experience and people talk about it for weeks and weeks and weeks after. So if you want to enter, please, please check out the charity website and all the information is on there. We do lots of other things on the back of it as well. So, um, we were, um I was just gonna say, you were on, um, X Factor. So for people listening in, uh, I'm not sure if they're going to do X Factor again. Did I hear— did I read somewhere that they were thinking of doing it again? Oh really? I thought it had been axed. But do you reckon that's what I thought? But I'm sure I read somewhere that they were thinking of possibly— unless it was in America— but I'm sure they were thinking of doing something again because obviously they do Britain's Got Talent as well. Um, so yeah, so talk to us a little bit about your experience on X Factor. How was it for you? So it wasn't— it, it was at the time, obviously it was a very exciting experience, but there is a lot that you don't know until you're actually there. There's like hours of interviews, and probably out of the hours of interviews that you do, there's probably about 2 minutes played. Sorry, I don't know, you know, but it is actually— it's a good experience, but it is very exhausting. You know, it's not like Autism's Got Talent where you sort of go and there's a— it's quite unorganized. Sorry, and I'm not being— I'm not being negative. I've heard this before. You're not telling me anything I don't know, but it's just for people listening in. It's, it's very unorganized, and they don't care, you know, if you struggle with something. You're like, basically you're a number. So yeah, so you go, and I, I went, I auditioned. Look, I didn't have to do all these pre-auditions, you know, before you actually see the judges. I was scouted by somebody and went straight to the label. In the office, and then they sent me to do the audition in the room. However, I think they were more mesmerized by the fact I saw people as animals than my actual talent. Right. I remember that, actually. Yeah, all the interviews were about me seeing people as animals. And then what happened was, you know, I didn't mind that. However, I still said quite a lot in the room audition about why I see people as animals, and they cut a lot of that out. So it made public think, is she nuts? Or— and, and what happened was, I— the, the panel were actually really lovely. Simon was lovely, and they all were really lovely to me. But the people working in the background were sort of going on like for hours and hours about the animal thing, even at 1:30 in the morning. I was the last one on stage at Wembley, and it was totally mind-draining. Yeah. And then they found out— well, they knew I had autism, and someone had put in a little complaint just saying it was too much what they were asking me, and they ended up sort of cutting a lot out of what I'd said, if that makes sense. Yeah, because apparently now, um, Fremantle and Syco, they've had supposedly had autism training. So for people that, um, say for example go on Britain's Got Talent, there's supposed to be a little bit more, um, how can I say autism-friendly. Um, so yeah, I was ambassador for the National Autistic Society at the time, and after, after what happened on the show, I contacted them and they decided— they took my story of what had happened, so they arranged to have a meeting with The X Factor and Britain's Got Talent about people with autism, right? So I wanted to sort of help other people in the future, you know. So if regardless of anything, they can go on and it's, and it's more understanding, you know, that you can still— if you can perform or you're good at what you do, that you're given that same fair opportunity as other people rather than just assuming, you know, one has autism or, you know, whatever, you know, whatever. Yeah, so hopefully they'll make a few reasonable adjustments if you need them. Yeah, so, but yeah, that's an exciting experience, but at the same time it was pretty exhausting. So what was it like when you sang on stage for you? Was it, um, was it like overwhelming, or did you just take it in your stride? So in the room audition I wasn't nervous, but when I performed in Wembley, it was like I could barely hear. It seemed— I seemed so far away from the judges, so I just— I performed, if it was Creep, Radiohead. Yeah. I felt okay, but, um, Simon sort of changed his personality, sort of like said, oh, I don't know if I like you anymore. And I said to him, well, at the end of the day, I am who I am and I can't change who I am, and you liked me a few weeks ago. And I just sort of say how it is. And I remember Cheryl said, oh, I love your dress. And I said, oh, thank you, I got it for £24.99 on eBay. And the audience were nothing, because I just say things how it is. Yeah. Um, but then they said they loved my rendition of Creep, and they— and Simon said, well, thank you for being honest, I love what you said, you're through. So I went to boot camp. Yeah. And I think that's when things started to sort of, uh, change. There was comments about the fact I had autism, and they thought I might struggle in the live shows, but actually I would have been fine. I just wish I'd to me about it, if that makes sense. Giving you the opportunity. Yeah, otherwise I don't— otherwise I might as well have not been on. Does that make sense? Yeah, I totally get what you're saying. I'm honestly— I'm not being negative, I'm just, I'm just sort of saying how it is. You're not saying anything different that I haven't heard before. So do you think there's more awareness now because of shows like, you know, you speaking on the shows? And obviously things have moved on a little bit, but do you think do you think there's more awareness and acceptance now of autism, or do you think we've still got a long way to go? Well, I think there's a lot more acceptance, acceptance and awareness. I still think, well, regardless of anything, there's always more that can— there's always more that can be done and sorted. But with people like what you're doing, for example, giving all these talented artists and performers a chance to perform and, and things like that, I think things like that is really, really helping, you know. Oh well, I hope, I hope so. You know, I'm always trying to do, you know, I'm a— as people know, I am a workaholic. I don't get a lot of sleep, and obviously my husband and my two boys are on the spectrum, so, you know, I'm always busy, always doing stuff. So I do think there is more awareness, but I still think there's still a long way to go. Yeah, I think each day does get more accepting, you know. I think there's more, but I think it can— we can still do a lot more. Um, but you're, you're really doing a lot there. And I think, um, you know, a lot more people who sort of speak about their autism and, and sort of carry on, that be people given the opportunity to still be able to perform, will make more awareness because it shows that, you know, regardless of having a, any, any disability of any form, you can still be amazingly talented, and it's just sometimes it's just nice to have that little bit of support, you know. So if you were— if you weren't doing singing and if you weren't going on stage, what, what do you— what else do you think you might have done? Which other pathway do you think you might follow? You see, this is, this is where— well, I do love art, but I'm not, I'm not very good at it. I just— sorry. I don't think my artwork would get anywhere. I can't dance, um, so— Could you make clothes? Could you be a stylist? Creative? Well, I could try. I could try. It's worth a try. Yeah, but I do like talking. Okay, so I'd probably be, uh, not a psychiatrist, sorry, but like somebody who talks in some way. Sorry, like, like, not like a counselor, but to talk to people to, to sort of, from what I've learned and the experiences I've had in my life. Yeah, yeah. And you can also talk about your experiences like you're doing now, you know, going into schools. I could see you doing that. Schools and voluntary work, you know, just like sort of helping other people, just like voluntary work and things like that. Yeah, yeah, good at doing that. How would you feel about being a singing teacher? Oh, that would be wonderful, wouldn't it? I think I've been doing that as well because I think you'd have a lot of patience. Really? Yeah, I'd love to do that. No, I actually— you've given me a good idea there. Thank you. I'm always full of them. So, um, obviously when I saw you, uh, it was just a couple of weeks ago, you were doing something completely different. So, um, talk to me about your experience during London Fashion Week. And I did mention it actually a couple of weeks ago on the radio when you did it. It was actually the day after, so I did tell everyone, but I want you to talk about your experience, what you got out of it. Um, and I know it was a bit stressful because I obviously I know the story, but, um, yeah, talk to people about your experience walking down the catwalk during London Fashion Week. Well, the first thing I'll say is I don't think I'll ever have stage fright in my life after what I was wearing. Not in a bad way, but I was, you know, I got there and I was told the outfit to wear, and it was honestly, it was absolutely stunning, but very revealing, but it was absolutely stunning. And I think from this show It's really helped my confidence because, believe it or not, I have stage fright. And walking down that aisle in this nude sort of underwear and then this sort of— it was like the scarf around, um, and it was— yeah, it really— lots of fringing. But before you talk about your outfit, talk about how you traveled there on your own, because for me that's a big thing, because you actually traveled all the way into London and it wasn't an easy place to get to because I obviously, I live in Uxbridge, but you know, it was difficult to find when getting off the tube. So talk to me a little bit about how you got there. So basically, luckily, I had a friend who helped me, who put me on the train, and then when I got off the train, I had a taxi that took me straight to the hotel that I was staying at. And then I got— even though it was, it was literally around the corner, but I have no sense of direction. So I got a taxi, a little taxi, to the venue, and it dropped me off. There's like a graffiti alleyway you saw, didn't you? I did. Yeah, I was amazed by all the graffiti. It was amazing. It was really amazing. And the things people were wearing, like, who were going to the fashion show, someone dressed up as a teapot. Yeah. I thought, oh gosh, I don't know where to go now. And there were these two interesting looking guys, and I thought they were taking part in the show because they were wearing really interesting clothes, but they said they're going to watch the show. So they sort of walked me to the venue, which was nice, but they were going there anyway. But it was still nice that they let me walk with them. Yeah, that makes sense. And then they took me into the bar place, and then I, I went obviously to the Doors, and then you, you turned up, which was lovely. Um, but yeah, it was quite— it— I was very nervous with the traveling side of things, but I got there, if that makes sense. It just shows you that you can overcome. And obviously going into this place, it was like you're going down a big tunnel, wasn't it? I think there used to be train tunnels. I think it was— it was like underground tunnel, wasn't it? Yeah. And there was lots of different venues sort of off each other, so it was like— yeah, it was— no, but it was really interesting, but lots of buzz about it. But then obviously when we went into the room and then there was quite a lot of people there, so there was a little bit of a delay, wasn't there, starting? So how was that for you? Because I know a lot of autistic adults, what they say, right, we're going to start at 7 o'clock, and then they expect to start at 7 o'clock. But obviously there was a bit of delay with the start and there was a few technical issues. But so how was that for you? Was that stressing you out? No, I'd— I— there was a bit of a mix-up and I hadn't realized until I got there that the other models had been rehearsing since 2 o'clock. This— I've never done this before. This was completely new to me. So I was a bit like, oh gosh, you know. And but I'd known, obviously I had people coming to watch me, and I thought, I need to pull this off. I really just need to pull it off. And, um, Emre still obviously let me take part. And we're all sort of getting dressed and, you know, getting into our outfits. But I had no idea what the setup was like, where I was supposed to walk or anything. So basically just guessed, um, and I pulled it off. But because I was so obviously a bit stressed, it was so— I was so stressed that I actually got through it. Does that make sense? Yeah, sometimes it's just like— it's a wonderful experience and I really enjoyed it, but it was almost like there was no time to, to worry about anything because we had to be so fast. Um, So once the curtains opened, I looked at where I was supposed to walk, and luckily it was just down the, down the steps and across the, the line. But I think because that kind of helped me make such— when you do a catwalk, you've got to have a very sort of serious, stern face. And I think because of what I've been through before, um, I walked, I think it really helped me more, really. You were great. You were like, my heart was beating fast when you walked down the catwalk. I said, oh, come on, come on, Lauren, you can do it. Because obviously I knew you were a little bit stressed beforehand, but you just pulled it off. You looked amazing. And you know what made me proud? What you told me afterwards was that Emre, who was the— I think he was either the designer, um, that he said, because you're with— you were the only model out of all of them that thanked him. And then he gave— what did he give you? Oh, sorry. So the hairdresser was the one that he said I was— the hairdresser said I thanked him. So a voucher to go and have my hair done at his salon in Chelsea. Wow. And do you know what? The hair and the makeup was amazing. Like, Stephen, who's one of my patrons, and obviously he's a hairdresser, we just kept going on about how amazing the hair and the makeup was. It was beautiful. And you know what? I've got to give Emre, um, the fact he, he— I'd not been to rehearsals. That was a huge risk for him to just let me go out there, because if I'd messed up that was his show and his designs. So I really, I'm really grateful he let me take part even though I arrived at 7, because it was a huge risk for him in the sense that I could have messed up. Do you think you'd do it again? Yes, I think I could, I could do it again. I think it really helped my confidence. Um, even, you know, when I'm at Autism's Got Talent, I sometimes can't go on the stage to dance at the end because I get shy, don't I? You know, at the end or dance. And I get it, but it's really honestly, it's helped me for other things, not just, just fashion shows and stuff, but even for, for Autism's Got Talent. It's helped me feel more confident and I can now do more things that I wouldn't have been able to do before. Yeah, when you sing, there's like, you can hear a pin drop and you always get a standing ovation because you're just so brilliant at what you do. So, um, yeah, very, very Proud. Um, so you have also, um, actually, um, been on a different radio station, um, called BBC The Beat. What's that all about? Oh gosh, yes. So the BBC The Beat, I went on there originally to— they played my record Don't You Go, and I sat and they interviewed me about my music, but I also did an interview about autism as well on there. Okay. So yeah, that was, that was quite a while ago though. It was in 2014 and '15 I went on there. Okay, and also talk to me about being on Miss Universe Great Britain 2014. Oh, so that I didn't expect to get through. I applied online, um, but I thought, no, I'm not, you know, I just, I just thought I'd give it a go. Yeah, I would say, do you, you're successful to come for an interview? And I thought, well, that's, that's a compliment. So I went for an interview in Birmingham and the directors said, "We'll be in touch." Yeah. And they said, "Congratulations, you've made it." There was like 64,000 women who'd actually applied, and I made it to the final 30. And I was not expecting it at all. And I really, I did love that experience. And I went there not to win, to get the crown, but I went there for the, for Miss Not In Vain, you know, sort of doing something, you know, to, to, to basically sort of raise awareness, to show you can achieve in life whatever you want, you know, if you put your mind to it. So I actually got the title Miss Not In Vain, and for— which was for entering the competition for the right reasons. Miss Congeniality, and I got that title because I got 90% of the votes from the girls. So it was actually the girls in the competition who had to put the name down of their favorite girl in the competition, and you being bullied at school and having no friends to then having all these popular lovely girls, you know, lovely nice girls actually vote for me as the favorite. So it was such— honestly, it was so wonderful. Oh, I bet that made you feel really proud of yourself. Yeah, yeah, I'm not really ever proud of myself, um, but it made me feel happy. Oh, that's good. So I'm just going to read some of the things that you you've done, um, your achievements, if you don't mind. Obviously, we're on X Factor in 2014, and through our charity, you performed a duet with Mitch Winehouse. So how was that for you? That was— I can't believe that was 2015. I didn't think it was that long ago. It was. That was so wonderful, and I didn't expect that. I remember when he asked me on stage, I had the Christmas tree cracker stuck at the end of my nose. He said, 'Oh, Lauren, would you like to come up?' And I turned around, and I had this plastic Christmas tree, you know, that you decorate break cakes with. It's like a— and, and he didn't say anything, he just said, 'Oh, come on.' Okay then, you know, I wasn't expecting it. And I've got to say that obviously going on Autism's Got Talent and having that also, having that opportunity as well of Mitch— and this is all to do with the stuff you do— has just been the most exciting times in my life, honestly. So you also did a performance to raise money at the Royal at Hall in Nottingham. So we've spoken about you doing Miss Universe. So, um, you actually sang in Nottingham Forest football ground. So are you a football fan? No, I'm not. What happened was, um, I'd done my, my music video, Don't You Go, and I thought, oh, I really— you know when you do a single, you want to sort of get it out there and promote it, and I just said to, to Forest Football, I'm your, you know, I, I love football, sorry. And I said, and I support Forest, would you, would you be interested in sponsoring me? And they said yeah. So in the break, I stood in the field and they played my music video on the screen, and I thought maybe everyone would sort of walk away because it was in the break, but people were still there watching. So it was really exciting, and I had to wear forest scarf around my neck. So I did Forest, and then 2 weeks later I then appeared in the, uh, Notts County football pitch as well and did the same thing. But considering you don't, you don't, you don't support football, you did quite well. I have a fear of balls. Sorry, that didn't sound— a fear of balls because I was attacked by a football. So I was thinking, I'm so glad they're not playing football as I sing because with my luck it will probably knock me out. But since fan. I have tried to, as respect, I have tried to watch a bit of football because I just think it was so lovely what they did. Yeah. So that was a very random but lovely experience. Oh, so you also sang, um, on the main stage at the Gay Pride Festival. How was that? Gosh, that was years ago. Um, I enjoyed— yeah, I enjoyed performing at Gay Pride actually. It's very quirky. There's so many quirky people around. I might I want to do that again sometime, actually. Yeah, that'd be good. That would be good. Um, you're also your Artist of the Month in 2014 at HMV. Yes. Yeah. Um, so my artist, they played my record Don't You Go in HMV, and I won Artist of the Month. And so they asked me to go down and do a performance. Um, so yeah, I went down there and, and did a bit of a show. Which was, which was not a nice experience. Yeah. So for people listening in that might feel that they may have autism themselves or being neurodiverse, what advice would you give to them looking back now? So if they are a bit apprehensive about going for the diagnosis, thinking, oh, I'm not sure about going, you know, because, you know, in some areas some people still, you know, they have stigmas attached to autism, neurodiversity, it obviously is getting better. But if you were to give some advice to somebody, what advice would you give? I would say if you feel like— some people obviously with autism don't feel they need a diagnosis because it doesn't always affect their everyday-to-day life, if that makes sense. However, if you do feel that you do want to, to have a diagnosis, then it can be a quite a long— it can be a long process. Initially, I think you have to talk to your doctor first because obviously when it was me, it was years ago. I was only 14. Um, but I think it's, it's well worth getting a diagnosis. Um, and there's a lot of support around, and you can also talk to other people who also have autism, and, and it's like you can get advice from different people. One of them actually, Anna Kennedy, um, Um, sorry, I'm, I'm, uh, I was just gonna say, um, so you definitely recommend for people to go, and would you do it? Would you have done anything differently thinking back? Um, probably not be so naive at times, because I have— people have to— a lot of people, even just even up until just recently actually, has taken advantage of my kind nature And I do try and be more assertive, but sometimes I do struggle with that. But I am slowly learning not to trust people so easily and to take my time and not rush into anything, if that makes sense. Yeah, I remember you telling me a few stories from, um, the past, and it's just like, makes me so angry that people can take advantage. Um, so, so what about, um, friendships? You've got many friends, or like my son He has like 2 or 3 really close friends and he says he doesn't really need a lot of friends. So I have a lot of support on, you know, like on Facebook, a lot of friends on social media, but the actual friends I sort of mix around with is, is, it's more quality over quantity. I've got maybe about 2 or 3 really good friends, um, because I, I can make friends easily, but then I— people can sort of take advantage. And, and I now— the friends that I've got now in my life, I've known them about 8 or 10 years, if that makes sense. So many friends, if that makes sense, but the friends I do have are very good friends. And well, there's a song I'm learning at the moment called Flowers, uh, Miley Cyrus, Flowers, and it's about basically you can still have fun on your own, buy your own flowers, you can dance on your own. I love it. It's like really popular on TikTok. And if I'd heard that song about 15 years ago, it would have actually probably really helped me. So I'm going to sing this song and record it and post it. Oh, that's— I'm looking forward to that. So if anyone ever feels, you know, I don't have many friends, or I'd like more but I'm bored, you can actually enjoy your own company and do things for yourself, and that actually does help. So talking about social media, we've just touched on it now. What advice as well would you give to people that, you know, are on social media? Because it can be quite a toxic place and you need to be very careful as well about being, you know, there's some people get trolled and all of those sort of awful things, but also can be a very, very positive place. So what's your experience been like on social media? So what you— I know you're on Facebook, I see you mainly on Facebook. Facebook. Um, what are the other social medias that you like to be on? So YouTube is a big one, okay, because when you have a talent or you want to sing or whatever you want to do and you want to post it, you need to be aware it doesn't matter how wonderful you are, how talented you are, there is always going to be a troll somewhere. And I've— I had a— for example, I posted a video up about autism and I got a comment saying, you autistic ugly bitch. Sorry, you know, and they knew. And, and what my advice is, these, these people who say such thing, it's because they can, because they're on their own, probably in an office. You know, anyone can create an account and post what they want. It doesn't necessarily— they mean what they're saying to you. You could just be a target, you know. They'll post the same message to hundreds of other people, and it's because they can do it. And I know it's horrible but they can do it. And the best thing to do is delete it and only take the positives, because you're going to get more nicer comments. And only take the positives, ignore the negatives, because if you— obviously, if you're willing to put yourself out there, then you are going to get the occasional trolling message. But don't take it to heart. It's different. Don't engage with them either. Block them and delete them. Delete them. And you can even report it, you know, to helping for the future for other people as well. But it's nothing personal. It's either someone who's just doing it because they can, or someone who's very insecure in themselves that they have to, to upset and try and put someone else's talents or person, you know, upset someone else, you know. Yeah. So, um, where can you see yourself in 10 years' time, Lauren? Um, Now that's interesting. I really do want to start getting— doing more performing again, and I'm hoping that in 10 years' time I will have more, more gigs, more songs, and hopefully I will be able to play the piano better than I'm playing now because I'm learning piano. Yeah, yes, so I play by ear, but I'm hoping in 10 years' time I'll be able to sort not have to rely on, on, uh, any musicians. Be like, I love having musicians behind me, but I'm hoping in the future I might be able to just rely on myself more. Yeah. So do you get as much support from your family? Yeah, my mum is— oh gosh, my mum is so supportive. And my auntie, she's actually— she's an actress. Um, yeah, so I'll send you one of her showreels later. She's, um, she does a lot of like acting work, and she's— so she's very creative in the sort of creative world. So we give each other advice and stuff about the industry, you know. She can teach me things I don't know, and I can tell her things that I— you know, if that makes sense. Okay. I've only got a very tiny family, um, but I have friends who are like family as well who support me a lot. Have you ever thought of acting? Yes, I love acting. Have you ever been in a play or been on stage? I've done a— I've done— actually, I'll send it to you. I did a showreel where I live in Melton set in a restaurant. I'll send you the clip if you'd like to see it. Yeah, yeah. So what character did you play? I played a very angry lady who was annoyed with my partner because she stood me up and she turned up 2 hours late. I know, I know, literally the opposite of what I mean. I was like really cross. It is not me, but that's why it's acting, right? So, oh yeah, I'd like to see that. Yeah, I'll send it to you. So what, what you like with timekeeping? Because I know a lot of autistic individuals that really like they're on time, bang on time, or even just before. I know my And Patrick's always sort of very early, sort of 5, 10 minutes early before whoever he's going to meet or wherever he's going. What are you like with timekeeping? I love— if, if there's a time, I love to be there either before, um, occasionally exactly on, on the dot, but I like to be there before. If I'm told this time, I, I'm very, uh, I have to be there on time. Um, hence why I was a bit like annoyed with myself at the show, but it wasn't my fault, you know. I, I I'm so like, like to be— I don't like to be late and I like to be on time and everything. I like a set routine, so I like things written down and to know the exact time. So yeah, to me, time's very important. Okay, so as you know, this program is about mental health and well-being and promoting mental health and well-being for women. So I'm always going on about take 5. And I know I'm pretty rubbish at doing it myself. But it's, it's about looking out for you. Actually, I put a post up on social media that said, you know, I'm a wife to an autistic man, I'm a mum to 2 autistic adults, and I'm a chairperson for an autistic charity. And I put, and I matter too. And do you know what the amount of people, the amount of messages that I got from people saying, oh, Anna, you do fantastic work, and all the 'You need to look after yourself' and all the rest of it. And it's just— and I have obviously Juliana, who's my wellbeing ambassador, and she's always promoting wellbeing and the power of touch and yoga. So what do you do to relax, to just be Lauren? Not, you know, I'm not talking about the singing, I'm just talking about what do you do just for you? For me, I like to either watch a film because it lets me forget everything that's going on. I also do like to do a bit of meditation. I have, uh, I do have like some healing crystals, and I light some candles, and I do different breathing techniques. I like to do coloring and dot to dot. I know that's so for me. And also, I have a cat called Ralph, and he's very— I love stroking him, and I play a lot of ball with him. It's just— I know it sounds a bit— it's like all things like that. And I love to do little sports and, and working out because it releases happy endorphins when you do working out and maybe go to the gym. Um, I do. I used to be a member of the gym, but then I had days where I didn't feel confident enough to sort of walk to the gym. So I've got a little home gym now. I've got a few different exercise machines and I put them on my balcony. And it's really funny because I live in front of a police station and sometimes they see me rising up in the air and down and they wonder what's going on. You know, you talk about meditation. So many people ask me to do meditation and I just can't do it. I just find it really hard. I can't concentrate. Yeah, your mind's completely— like, completely clear your mind. So you— and sometimes you do that. How do you clear your mind? How do you do that? The amount of stuff you do and your busy life, I can imagine that would probably be quite difficult, to be honest with you. It's so— I either put on a bit of music, uh, like whales or sea sounds. Mind you, the last whale track I heard kind of scared me, so I took those whales off. I don't know what they were doing. Um, so what I do is I put a bit of calm music on and I— oh, I listen to a song that I like But it's so hard to clear your mind sometimes. I can't do it. I can't do it. If you breathe— I will say something. If you breathe in, if you breathe deep in 3 times, you can't think about anything else. So this is another thing, this is another strategy that helps me if I'm anxious. I breathe in 3 times, and because you're concentrating on the breathing, you can't think of anything else. So if you're ever anxious or you're worried about something, I just want to clear your mind, Do deep breathing and you can't think about anything else. So do you, when you breathe in, do you have to count for like 10 or something? You can, or you can just concentrate when you're doing the breathing and you try it, you can't think, there's nothing you can think about because you're actually concentrating on the breathing. It's really weird. I was told about this a few weeks ago. Okay, I'll have to try that. Difficult to fall asleep, it's just like my brain is racing. Thing. I, I've said this before, but I think I've got ADHD because my brain is— I can, I can think of like 3 different things all at once. My brain's just constantly working all the time. So, um, yeah, but it's just I find it really difficult to like fall asleep. It takes me such a long time. And I know obviously Angelo's in the background, it takes him, but I need, I need to know he's asleep and he's finally asleep when he does. Like last night it was 2 o'clock in the morning. And then sometimes I can be overtired, so it takes me a while to drop off to sleep. But like my husband, he can fall asleep in the middle of a conversation, but me, it just takes me such a long time to drift off. Try some blue lights behind the TV, because it's— blue lights have something, and it could basically— when you watch TV or, or look at your phone, there's something to the electronics and it makes your brain alert. But if you have blue light behind the TV, it stops that from happening and it will help you sleep better. Okay, I'll try, I'll try that. I'll try anything. I don't know how I function sometimes. Sometimes I'm just about functioning. So it's been lovely talking to you, Lauren, as always, and you've always got lots to say lots to share and lots of information. And I wish you the best for everything that you do, and hopefully I'll see you in London soon. As we say, we'll catch up for a coffee, and maybe after you've had your hair done and everything at the hairdresser's. So I look forward to seeing that. But I'll be seeing you in May, won't I, at the Daisy June? Yes, I'm really looking forward— that's another thing I'd like to say, I'm really excited for for coming to this event again. I can't wait. So, um, yeah, so, um, I'd just like to say thank you very much. Thanks for chatting to me. Thanks for sharing stuff. And I just want to say to everyone, don't forget to keep up to date with the charity website, everything that's going on. So it's www.annakenedionline.com. And if they want to follow you, your YouTube, what is it quickly, Lauren? Oh, my YouTube is youtube.com/LaurenLovejoyTV. Okay, did you say that one more time? YouTube.com/LaurenLovejoyTV. Oh, thank you. So, um, yeah, there'll be an article as well on the charity website, so Lauren will put that link on there just in case you missed it. So thank you everyone, keep going one day at a time, and thank you again, Lauren, and see you again soon. Bye everyone, bye bye.