Free Your Mind With LKJ – Flotirda Kecani, Life Is Worth It

Good morning and welcome to Free Your Mind, Let's Talk About It with LKJ on www.womensradiostation.com, the radio station that supports mental health and mental health awareness and is a non-biased and unjudgmental show. Today I have a guest where we're going to, um, talk about this coming segment on autism, ADHD, what it takes to be a mother that can deal with this on a daily basis from an inside day-to-day point of view, and the struggles that we've gone through, plus many more. So I'm going to go straight in and bring the wonderful Flo Tirda Kekani in. Hello Flo, are you there? Yes, hello, hello everyone, hello and welcome to Free Your Mind, Let's Talk About It. And Flo, can we start off, um, by introducing yourself to the listeners about who you are first of all, where you come from, age, um, and life where you started from, from birth to come through, what brought you, um, to England And then we'll, you know, talk on about the different cultures, etc., and the different aspects you deal with, with your two boys who have just received the award for Children in Excellence by myself. I was honoured to award them for the graciousness these two boys have and the love they have, and also Sean Flair. From Sean Fair Leadership Tour and Sean Fair Consulting Group, who also presented the boys with their award. And Flo is also now greatly accepted my ambassadorship, so she's now ambassador to Lady Kendall-Jergens and myself, and also to Sean Fair Leadership Tour for Albania. She's the ambassador for them. So Flo, let's start then. Let's hear about you, where you was born, etc., siblings. Hello everyone again. So I am born in Albania. We are 4 sisters and 1 brother, and I came in UK in 2006. Due to a marriage. So my ex-husband married, came to Albania, marry me. And after I came in UK, I start my life there. So in the beginning, in the first 2 years, life didn't went as I was planning. So my life got a big shock and I was expecting something else, and something else I found it here. So I found another family, another kids, kids, which I didn't know they are. And I didn't— restarted my life from the beginning. And, um, I had 3 miscarriages before I had my 2 boys, after with my second partner. And as you said, uh, Lady Candle, that both my boys now are with special needs. I came to UK in 2006 without any language, not knowing many people around, not knowing the language, not knowing the— anyone from my community. So for me it was like I was reborn again, but in very worse situation, because I was far from my family, I didn't have any siblings near. So life, it was, it was really hard to start it from the beginning again. But now I, I did rebuild everything and of course we went, everybody do go sometimes through the dark zone, so I was through the dark zone as well. And you know, when my boys are born, I didn't know what autism it is or what does it mean. And it was really hard, not by my side, because I was a mother and I wanted to help my kids, but to accept by the community and by the people around me. It's not— it wasn't easy at all, because having a child with special needs, they didn't see the potential that they have. They didn't see, "Jutta was pointing at me," or, "What she did? Why she having kids with needs? Shame on her." I heard all these things. But, to be honest, for me it was just important to help my children. Not what others was saying behind, or even sometimes in front of me, or pointed at me. These things didn't— didn't count it to me. My boys was everything what was important. I was sleeping and waking up just thinking about them, how I can help them. So, becoming mother when I was 26, 26 years old, as I said in the beginning, without my, any of my family. Near. It was really, really hard. So, now UK, it's my second home, and I can say this is my home, because now, even when I go home, I miss my house, I do miss my friends that I built here, the friendship community as well. So, Yeah, this is me. As you say, this is me. And Flo is so humble in her expression and where she comes from, obviously the struggles as when you came across to the UK and obviously bringing your children, etc. Can we just explain what— because we don't believe in labels, but unfortunately we have to explain a condition that we have, which is different labeling to explain it as a condition. What, um, conditions do your children suffer from, Flo? I'm going to start from the little one. The little one, he was born a premature child, and he have two holes in his intestine when he was born. So he was born 31 weeks and 5 days, and after 24 hours, the doctor made an operation, and actually he was a very tiny baby. He was 1 kilo and 500 grams, so he was very, very tiny. And with him, this is all the scenario that started, but now he's diagnosed with autism, global development delay, he's non-verbal. He is very high-function child, so he know anywhere of dangers. So obviously he's 13, he just was in September 13th. But if you, if we gonna put him on the road and say like we do say to other children, "Can you cross the road safely or wait for traffic lights?" He don't know all these things, so he need prompting all the time. And the bigger one is diagnosed with autism when he was 4 years old because he was a bit of speech delayed as well. And what we were seeing last year, or in the last 2-3 years, with the teachers and all the professionals that there was, they was invite involved in my big son's life. They were saying that it's not just autism and we wanted to know exactly what it is. So we did put him, because some people were saying, "Oh, he have ADHD." Some was saying that he have dyspraxia, but we wasn't sure. So I did, as a parent, did made a referral. To the community pediatrician to go through the re-diagnose again. And I just want to mention a really funny situation what I did face just in July with his re-diagnose. After we did all the tests and all the reports from school, from parents, from all other organizations who was working with him in the meanwhile. The pediatrician phoned me and said, "Listen, Mom, based on everything, we can see that he have ADHD, ADHD syndrome." But she said to me, "I'm gonna give it to you." that power if you want to diagnose or not. And if you want to diagnose, why? So I said, listen, as a parent, we have done all this process. We did it for a reason. And of course I want to diagnose my son with ADHD. And she said, why do you want to give that target to him? And I said, listen, It's not a problem giving a target or don't giving a target. But I want to diagnose my son with ADHD just for the reason that he is 14 now. Tomorrow he gonna move from secondary, he gonna go to college or university or even in workplace. And I want his colleagues, his friends, His employees, who's gonna, or anyone who's gonna, who have to do with him, I want to know that if he said a funny word, or if he said a joke in the, not in the way that we are used to, I don't want that, that to bully him, or to crush him down, or to push him away. I just want to know. That they should respect my son's needs, even if he— when he becomes adult. And that I said to the pediatrician, we should accept each other differences and each other needs. So it's very important, not— we not two people the same in the planet, we all are different, we all should respect and understand each other's need. Very strong statement there, Flo, and very empowering. So, you know, with children, you know, that, uh, you were saying, you know, how he was born so small to have, um, an operation at that time. Been very frightening for you. So what happened? So when we go back into Dennis's life, you know, coming back, you're saying about the small intestines and everything like that, forming the two holes, you know, having gone through labor and being told that and being premature, being put in that emotion, has this left any sort of scarring on you, you know, from, you know, your emotions? I'm trying to pull out your emotions here for people. I mean, as, as, uh, the viewers know, I lost my own child through path and given that. So, you know, you take me back to that point, so I know how I felt. But God gave the gift of life to Dennis, even though there was things wrong the surgeon was doing. But for yourself, how challenging, which it was challenging, and giving birth, how did it feel, Flo, if you can express that? Because if somebody's there now listen to this show and you've just given birth to your child and you have to go through that, how did you get through that? Um, you know, what enabled you, Flo, to stand strong and, you know, through that? Because most of us are exhausted, aren't we, after the event of pregnancy and giving birth anyway. But when you have trauma, you know, and this being told, and this tiny baby, you know, it's not— you know, I'm trying to set the scene for you here, you know. Um, do you still feel scarred from that event, Flo? I do, I do, to be honest, because, um, in that moment when I was having my problems, you know, my health problems, and, um, trying, you know, there was time. It wasn't the exact time, but it was time for him to, to born. Actually, we both were in, in a risk of life. And even we found— I found the ambulance, and when ambulance came to pick me up and take me to the hospital, even the hospital was not accepting us, me, because they were saying, "Oh, you mom, you see, you are too early because you are just 31 weeks and 5 days, so it's not time for you yet to give a birth to a child." And after, I didn't know, I can't remember too many things, but I just know and I hear and I can remember that the ambulance, there was one male and one female. So they fight it on my behalf, and they said, listen, um, they said— we was talking with the nurse in charge and say, listen, if you're not gonna accept this mother, if you're not gonna take care of her, whatever situation comes after, you— we're gonna give you a piece of paper 'And you're gonna sign that we're not accepting this mum.' And they said, 'Because we're not gonna leave this lady in this situation, because we are seeing that she's not well. So if you're not gonna accept, write, sign off that paper, and we're gonna take her somewhere else.' And after, when they accepted and they did tests and they did some examination in me, and I start becoming dark,. And they make a decision quickly, that, okay, we need at least to save one of them. So, it was, it was really tough time, it was really tough situation, but what in that moment, what keep me strong, it was, I just, I just don't want it else. I just was praying every single moment, just, God, I know this child is having a problem, 'But please, please leave him alive. Just please don't take him.' And I was praying and I don't wanted anything else, just he to be alive. I knew it, he gonna have problems after he did the operation, but I just wanted him alive. And that keep me so strong, every single moment I was just phoning the doctors and saying, how he's doing. Because all the time I was scared from that phone call, and I really appreciate the nature and the garden that I didn't receive that phone call which I was scared of. And after, when he came from hospital, um, he did stay so many months with the stoma bag and I can remember because I got on, on my face every time when Dennis changes his clothes, that he have a big scar on his tummy. And I, I can't remember, I'll never gonna be— I can't, I can't forget about that. All the time it's on my face, and all the time when I see Dennis, everything comes back to me as a as a refresh. But I got him and I'm helping him, how, as much as I know and as much as I can. So that keep me strong and I know he need me. And I do say it to myself many times, listen Flo, you have to look after yourself because you are not entitled to be sick or you can't die. I know one day that, that day will come, but I want to prepare Dennis for that day. I want to prepare everything for him. So this is, this is what keeps me fighting for life and fighting for his needs more than for Louis's one. I think for any of the listeners who are to hear that, the fight that Flo has every day. And something that nobody often talks about is, one, we are born and we all have to die. But when you have a child that's disabled in this way, non-verbal, totally reliant on the parent, what happens then is a fear. And we say we mustn't live in fear, you know, to enjoy those happy days. But how do you feel? How do you prepare for that? Because the fight started when he went into premature labour and the trauma started back then, which obviously, as the listener can hear, that it is a scar. You were put into acute trauma, you haven't dealt with that. There is things, you know, and using your voice to help the voiceless on this, from going into that hospital at 31 weeks and 5 days Yes, you wasn't due to go in there, but to fight from that moment, say, 'You're too early, go home.' Never ignore the signs. Yes, if it's your first child or even your second, the human body knows. We are again not built up of human science of reactors that are from the cells or the muscles. We have a human reactor, it's called instinct. That instinct sends us on our road, and we should always rely on our instinct because instinct doesn't normally let you go. Because preterm labor occurs when your regular contractions result in the opening of your cervix after week 20 and before week 37. And by doing that, sometimes we'll know that for females who are given a stitch because the cervix is weak. But preterm labour can result in premature birth, like Flo, like myself. My daughter was born prematurely but unfortunately passed. For Flo, she fought with every breath, as people like ourselves do, and knowing that there would be difficulties there. For me, my daughter's birth saved my life. So it was a reversal in that, and one in which I had that and had to bury her, and my brother was killed by a car driver after visiting me. So mental torture and trauma and dealing with that. So, you know, we all have those issues there, but this is about flow. But obviously I resonate with probably be listeners that can do that as well. But to go into a hospital, yes, we have these practicing contractions that tell us, and sometimes we go home, start again, going back where we're getting ready. But when you're having a premature birth, the risks are greater Because the baby's still meant to be growing. That's why we're meant to have a baby at 40 weeks. But when they go in, there's a problem to come out and fight in it. Because, you know, there are 3 risk factors that most might be most likely for you to go into a preterm labour and give birth early. When you have problems with your uterus or cervix, you will have had them in the past anyway regarding it. But, you know, some of the warnings are your contractions, as we all know, is when our tummy's tight and like a fist every 10 minutes or so often. And also, you know, yeah, I suffer with irritable bowel. So people who suffer with irritable bowel that haven't had a child, that you get these cramp pains like that, you feel that in your tummy, it is not good. If you have, and these are warning signs which Flo will prove, is why we must tell people out there, because people listen, if you are pregnant, you get signs, they're warning signs, go with your instinct. Because if you have a change in your vaginal discharge, you may have leaking fluid, or you may have seen some spotting or bleeding. If you feel pressure in your pelvic area, and it's really painful. Your baby's head is trying to engage and pushing down on you. You may have that low, dull backache. You just cannot get comfortable, you cannot lay there. And also, again, cramps in your stomach. These are serious things that are shown to go in to have it. But there's other things that can cause this as well. You can be— you may have an infection You may have diabetes, high blood pressure, and it could be epileptic. There could be a genetic influence. There are things like this to do it. So you have to seek medical help in that time. And again, not trying to, you know, cause yourself stress in the pregnancy. In the, in your last trimester, you have to watch at the levels of stress. Because they can cause you, and you know, if your blood pressure to rise. I had preeclampsia that sent me into my leg swelling that came out and everything. But stress can cause the increase in you having a premature baby as well. So also watch out for that. But for full flow, to actually be on that ward and say no, and Thank goodness those two people that fought your cause for you to go into labour and give birth to Dennis, who, my goodness, he has— and Louis, we'll touch on Louis— absolutely has a place in my heart. You know, I have pictures, and he danced with me, just one dance. It was difficult because with myself, with my epilepsy and stuff, we've done it. Mine's hidden, his is seen, and holding on to that together. And that bond and that love and that face would be non-verbal, but he can communicate. And the power when he put those arms around me with his love, looking at me, I'm enough, I count, I'm worthless. As you guys, you know, looked on to him, that his life has meaning, it has purpose. And yes, we will talk, you know, about the end part— how do we deal with that passing— but at the moment he's talking about him. So, like yourself, Flo, it's very brave to come on to a show and explain these emotions, the feelings when you're going back. And any parent is going back and forth to intensive care with their child. But even when we've had a child and a child managed to come through quite well, safe, etc., through that, is a joy in any gift of life. Or if we lose and pass it, we have to deal with the stresses, and they're not built up to do that. So for Dennis, he is an award winner. Flo has a place in everyone's heart, whoever crosses it, and you know, we all bow to you, Flo, and your husband John. I know husband John is an amazing guy, running around trying to make sure everything is fine there, and to have support now like that, Flo, and you know, challenges are daily, and daily coming on with that are hard. But I did post, and for any of the listeners, you go on to LinkedIn and search Lady Kendal-Jo. I put a wonderful video up there of a short bio on Dennis, and you can see him playing that piano. And he is full of that, isn't he, Flo? He is full of life, and you know, if he comes and gives you cuddle or hug or give— try to give you a kiss on his way, or even smell sometimes to you, that it means he really have that good connection with you. Otherwise, if, if he don't feel you, he just stays away from you. So if, if this child comes to you, that means he really have that positive feeling with you and in you. So he never comes and give you a kiss, okay, because you know we have seen some children give you a kiss because, okay, "Mommy gonna treat me," or, "Mommy gonna give me what I want." He just give, comes and give you a kiss because he feels that way. Yes, and you're saying about that, because you're just going into that, um, it's— and I have to take a pause and a breath here to say that, because when Dennis does do that, other people there— and he knows, he knows who to trust or not, because his IQ is very high. They're a human reactor. In their emotional feelings, know with safety, etc., who is true. They have a very, uh, um, uh, what's the word I'm looking for, um, the connection, that kind of trust. Yeah, he's got to come in with that, and he knows because he doesn't go to everyone, does he? No, no. No, he don't do with any— with anyone. He just do with certain people. So that's, that's, that's make them so special as well. Because you, as I said, some, some children just come and give you a kiss because they know you're gonna pay something back to them. But these children like Dennis, they come and give you a proper and very warm hug because they feel it, not because any back interest on that. And obviously, like you were saying, we touched on the feelings that you live with every day. I mean, for most of us, we go through life thinking— we don't think about tomorrow too much. Some of us do now prepare for the event of because we know we're going to go. But for you, it's where you pray to God every day, I don't get sick, because if I'm sick and I go into hospital, you know, there are people to go around there. For yourself, when you have— with Louis, you have as well, I know you have your husband at home, but as a mother, having for them is what happens to Dennis. You know, because there is— how do you tell a child who's non-verbal that his mother's passed? These are all issues that you fight with every day. What do you do? Who will have him? What will happen if you got sick and was gone, isn't it? To be honest, I just want to mention a couple of occasions where there was very— there are a bit scary and worse scenario, but This is the life that I am here now. So, Dennis did been hidden by a truck in front of the house, because he did run away. Dennis did flew himself from the second floor. And Dennis did run on the hospital. I was very tired, couple of years ago, just after the first lockdown. And because he feel himself free, or I don't know how, he just run from my hands. In front of— I was trying to put him in the car, and he just run away from my hands, and the truck came. And I was very sad, very devastated, and I didn't sleep for 2 nights. I was just crying all the time. And I told to the nurse in charge, and I said, "Listen." I think tonight, because I'm tired, I'm just, I can't keep my eye open anymore, so please keep eye on Dennis, because he gonna run out, and I swear to God. I was falling asleep, I did fall asleep, and they caught him outside the hospital, because soon as he saw that I was sleeping, He just ran out, and all the hospital was alarmed. And they, after, when we did the crisis meeting with all the professionals, they said to me, "Mom, how you do?" And I said, "Well, how I do? You are seeing me how I do." So it's not easy, it's not easy at all. It's not easy at all when And a head teacher phones, and that happened many times, phoned me and said, "Mom, listen Flo, we meet you to this hospital." Because he did fell off, or he had an injury at school. And what they do, that time don't allow, and don't wait for me to go to school. So they just do phone me and say, "Listen Mom, we meet you at the hospital." Because they phoned the ambulance. And school staff hop in the ambulance with him and we meet at the hospital. And as I said, that happened many times, not just one time. And these reason make me think and make me say to myself, "Listen Flo, you're not entitled to take holiday off, you're not entitled to be sick, you're not entitled to die, you have to be 24/7." For any phone call that I receive, first when I see that my phone is ringing and he's not with me, all my body shakes first, because I say, "Okay, what's next now? What's now? What did happen?" So, I have to be constantly 24/7 ready. So, I'm not just saying about myself, but I know, It's not easy for any parents who have children with needs, but maybe God gives us that power to be strong for our kids. Yes, and like you're saying, just airflow every day. As the phone rings, and as we do our own children, um, what's gone wrong? I'm naturally instinct again comes into play. Now, for yourself, when you have a child with need, you know, going on there, like with Dennis going off and running off, and how do you do it? And, you know, for us, it must frustrate you if you're in situations— I know it frustrates me sometimes, you know, when we are tired and we stressed with ourselves because we haven't allowed that time to rest. But for yourself, you know, and with anybody with special needs, you as the caregiver end up so exhausted and tired, but you do it. You would do it over and over again. If God was to say, right, I'm going to change this, go back, and we could change anything about it, you wouldn't change a thing because this is how it is. As someone said, he would go with the flow. You know, we would like to give you a 2-week break on your own. You'd rather have that 2-week break with your child because, you know, you try and find that time when you can relax and go. Yes, it's nice to have an evening out and be able to relax down the door. And obviously, being my ambassador, you take on my own stuff as well, which I'm very grateful for. But somebody like yourself is, as we're talking about these emergency plans, you have to have an emergency plan in place because what would happen in an emergency? So that's really important to the listeners and people, you know, as we're talking and freeing Flo's mind that, you know, what happens if you go into hospital unexpected without a plan? It may be left to people who don't know your child or your relative very well to make decisions. And again, they could be incorrect decisions. Even with Uflo that has the plan, things can still go wrong. And like we were saying, with Dennis running out in the hospital and everything, absolutely, because it is a huge responsibility for somebody to take on. But, you know, we have to have a circle of trust a circle network. And you know, anybody that has a child with needs, you should be in these circles, you should be making friends with people, because people are in the same position as you. Your emotional reactions where you were tired, having and leaning on somebody to say, "Hey, I'm going to come round, let me help you." What can I do to help ease this? Even for 1 hour sleep on the sofa, some just say, "If you just do this, you know, everything's sorted." And if you've never, or you don't know you're on that plan list, work with the person. You know, like somebody, if I was that person, you would say, "Lady Jagger, I need you here." Because I know with Dennis, I know certain things with his beads, you get to know him. You have to know now. You can't just be a number on a list waiting to be called. You have to know and you have to have that trust. I know, for instance, one of the things we're doing, if I wear red lipstick, he wants to touch my lips the whole time and goes to faces, draws him. Don't wear red lipstick, Rayza. I know he needs his feeds. I know how he likes his Coca-Cola, but you know, too much Coca-Cola, but you can work with him. He knows rewards through that, through non-verbal, through texting. I know so much about Dennis in that sense that I feel if there was a problem, I would be in my car and I would be there straight away to help you. And I know you will. If he was in hospital, I would be there. I would be up all day with Louis and doing that, and that wouldn't stop me at all because I know, and I know that he trusts me. I know the signs. But working on a daily basis and working and having somebody as well as your social workers. Yes, we have the schools, we have everything, but the circle of support and the right people, because in the event that we don't know what's going to happen to us, you would rest up in heaven knowing that in your heart, Flo, that you have peace. So if yourself is building your circle of trust and do it. And I'm more than happy to be one of those people on there. And you know, everything will be fighting for it because with the circle of support, you are building a continuity of support throughout your family members. So it's written, it's a word of you that's gone in. Even if that meant, oh no, no, no, we don't know you, Lady Jaggi, you're not one of them. It's just Flo's words. And I will abide by them, and they are my words to go in, they will go. And this is just an example, because you have to be known, and it's a huge challenge and risk to go on it, but knowing you have that, and I wouldn't mind ever and change my whole lifestyle for Dennis and your boys, and I, you know, I'm honoured with the love they show me, They have so much beauty. I'm always in awe of those boys. So as I was saying, having that support flow, you know, even John, pick up the phone, they joke, I drop everything, but you know I would be there to support, just as you support me in challenges. And you know I have even disabilities and I have a team around me that will help. So you need to sleep now with narcolepsy, epilepsy, tosperesis, diabetes, problem with the heart. But people don't see that. They just see my face painted with hair in. Here's Lady Jaguar. But people actually know me, know inside that person. My heart is pure. My heart is always there to help, as you know, Flo, to be, you know, the best version from it. So in that exchange, we trade I call it trade swapping, and we have a great trade swap. I just want, I just want to say something before I forget. My kids was, you know, 4 or 5 years old, I was in the process of diagnosing both. That was in the same parallel diagram going through the process and, you know, diagnose and finding schools and all sorts. So, I was in the dark zone very badly, obviously. I was having 5, 6 tablets for depression in the evening, and I was having 5, 6 in the morning. And I was— nothing makes me happy. I didn't see, even sun was rising in the morning, I wouldn't— I didn't enjoy, I didn't enjoy any flower, I didn't enjoy nothing. So I was having all these medication, and again I was having very, very severe headaches. So I did end up one day in hospital, very bad. I was just banging my head, and I had— I just stayed 3 days in hospital because my headaches couldn't go, and that did affect me very bad because I was that kind of person which I will remember any name. So since then, that kind of memory has been very bad attacked and affected. So after I came from hospital, I went to the doctor and my GP doctor said, because he knew it, he was the following doctor for my boys as well, and all the time for any change he was just saying to me, Flo, 'Go to this department and say this and this,' or, 'Do this referral,' or— But he was very, very good guidance for me and for my boys. So, I went there, after he was following me, he have to change my medication every 4, 5 months, because my body was get immune to the medication and that was not working anymore. So I went there, I just remember like, It is now, that scenario. I went there, I was having a double pushchair, both boys was in the pushchair. I went there and he said to me, "You know what, Flo, you making my job very, very hard. I'm finding very, very difficult to treat your depression and your migraine." So he said to me, "I'm gonna change this medication." And actually, he was just changing what he gave me, maybe couple of months before, because all the medication that he had in his power, he did give it to me. But that was not working on me, just for in the first couple of weeks, and after I was just going worse and worse. So he said to me, "I don't know what to do with you." So, I went home, I was crying, I was so sad. And he said to me, "If you gonna continue like this, I'm afraid maybe you will lose your kids too, because your headaches and your depression, it's coming very, very severe and very worse stage." So, I was, I went home with them words, crying and I was upset. So, I did cried for 3 days. And after 3 days I said to myself, "Listen, Flo, because you cry, are you sorting anything? Because you've been upset, are you sorting anything?" So I said to myself, "Listen, you have to wake up and you have to help yourself." So what I did, I went on YouTube and I just wrote it down, how I can help myself to become depression-free. Depression. So there was a clip there was, was saying start count positive things that you see on the day. So they was starting on the first day to start with 3 good things. So if the sun is rising, just write one positive thing. So if you see a baby, just write it, positive things. If you see a flower, just write it. If you— even if you have, um, a nice coffee or 5 minutes on yourself, just write it down because it's positive thing. And then it started for 30 days. I was counting down them nice things, so if I see a red color, again I was write it down. Because a red color gives the— you that positive energy. So, and after from that, I did started changing my wear, my clothes, because I was wearing dark navy blue, dark green, black. So I swapped all my clothes to red, yellow, a light green, fuller, colorful clothes. And I just managed the situation. I said to myself, okay, our kids going to school today. I had a busy weekend, I was trying to give to myself the Friday and the Monday. So Friday, for example, to— I was saying to myself, "Take a Friday for yourself." Because you're gonna have Saturday and Sunday busy days, so try and make yourself happy, treat yourself for a dinner, treat yourself for a coffee, even on your own. I was doing many times, I was doing just on my own. I was finding a good spot in the city where I can have my coffee and I can see so many people and I can see so many trees and so many, um, just a nature thing. And I was doing that, I did start doing that, and that did really help me. And again, because the busy weekend, I was saying to myself, take the Monday day off from appointment, from things, just concentrate on yourself. And obviously this is the way how I did help myself. Okay, we now, everybody have them negative days and blah, blah, blah. But I'm, I never went back, because I know these tricks now, how to work on myself. And I just do help myself, and I did help myself. And I do share this kind of story with others as well, with other parents who have children with needs. Become depression, hurting yourself, there's not a solution. So I just wanted to share this one as well. Yeah, and for people, I want to put it out there now, um, obviously because you have a platform where people can do one-to-one with you, and in your work part that you can book a discovery call with Flo, having heard her own story, to help yourself in mental health adversity, I truly believe you've had to walk in that path yourself to feel that pain of that road, that journey, because you've got to know how you feel yourself. I was once told, um, only actually the other day by the wonderful Russ Kane, and he said to me, Lady Jagger, You know, when we all have these issues, when we're on an aircraft, they say, in the instance of needing oxygen masks, they will be lowered down. Please put the mask on yourself first. Repeat that. Please put the mask on yourself first. True, true. Because how can we do that? But, you know, sometimes What we're doing is we're reaching for that mask and everybody is really trying to put that on ourselves to fix it. Everyone's grabbing at the mask so you can't reach, you know, to get that mask yourself and put it on. But remember, put the bloody mask on yourself first. You are not being selfish by reaching out and putting that oxygen mask on yourself. You have to do that to survive. So In the event of this thing with depression that we've all suffered with, including myself, when we have people like Flo now that offer us a platform where you can do a discovery call— yes, there is a fee because obviously we all have to work, but God sometimes gives us his challenges in our footprint of our life and walk as we leave those impressions in people's hearts— is how do I fix myself? How do I get and reach the oxygen. First of all, pick up the call to Flo, because Flo, who works with so many challenges every single day, as well as suffering the depression where she fought and, you know, for her own self, um, wanna stay out and be like— not every person you connect with works but there are people there. So why not book your call with Flo? And for a small fee, um, you know, for an hour, um, I think it's, uh, £150 for the consultation for 1 hour with Flo, which she does donate £20 of that to a school. So the £130 That goes in because for Flo to take that hour call with you means that she has to get caregiving support around with them. So like us all, but it's truthful, we're honest with being out there. Connect with Flo, but not only because you have a child with needs, but we all have needs and we can't attach. We've got the mask, we're trying to put it on, but sometimes like we might need the flight attendant to put it on, that's when we need people like Flo who will place that oxygen mask over your mouth, allow you to breathe, allow you to work through it, and then they'll help you through as we brace, as we learn to brace, to put an emergency stop to all this negativity and know that you are enough and you are worth something. Flo, putting that on that's working with Flo will do that. And the reason it works and her methods work and why she's the ambassador to Sean Fair Leadership Tour, why she is the ambassador to LKJ, because she's walked in adversity, she's had every challenge with her, but she now knows herself and for her own platform that it was not selfish to put the mask on and having to do it done that herself, right to the low point, that now she can help you. Let Flo help you. Flo is the most giving, wonderful person that could be in your path and to work with you, to help you through these challenges. Or you can do a block set where you can, you know, work with it over 5 periods, and this can be reduced down for a branding session, so it'd be a bit reasonable on there. We all need a coach in our life every single day. We need that coach who is separate from us, separate from the people around us, as our confident. With the wisdom to just go off and release that and lay on that couch and lay on the couch. People like Flo, and for us, you know, we— I don't like the word therapy because what we are doing, we are transformationally uplifting our mindset. I'll repeat that again and use a different terminology for it. Transform our mindset to relax, almost with a touch of meditation, and using that. For me, Flo's beautiful soft voice as she would talk through that, and you can talk to herself in just a quiet room, laying down and just expressing. So you're learning to breathe using the techniques by spelling breathe in your mind. So be R-E-T-H-E. Using these methods and with the tone of Flo's voice, you will have that hour where it is unjudgmental and private, because it is private, and that doesn't go anywhere else. That oxygen mask is, when attached to your face and oxygen's coming through, that's the breath coming, that's your savior, that's making you strong. That is like Flo's voice coming through you, working through. This is how I feel. She's not gonna— you're not gonna be punished or told because your mind feels like it's exploding, your heart's empty, you just feel drained, you're so tired. Using your coach like Flo will get you through that. Now, um, if you need to contact Flo Flo, do you have a number that they can contact you on? Yes, it's 07501973213. Can you repeat that again, just so they have that? 07501973213. And obviously, for Flo, obviously Running a website or anything like that is a lot of challenges to do when you have the children. Her dedication always comes through, quick connection, putting that in, people coming in. As my ambassador, anybody in there, I will be running an article on Flo, what she's doing. We need to support Flo as she will support you, because together we are all equal. We're all one and we all need to reach out and to talk through when you're having that day, the pressure. What can I do to help you? The oxygen mask. And then you will find after that hour, speaking will flow and they get up. Not only have you seen the light that shows you, because you're gifted to help another human being, because you've risen as a humanitarian, because you've donated with Flo. That's— that is transforming Flo's mindset as well by putting all energy to you. It's positive energy which uplifts her. So together you're both benefiting each other, and the result is having friendship coaching and knowing you're enough, you're not worthless, because we all will suffer with mental health adversity. If anybody wants to get in direct and, um, for Flo or know anything else or, um, you know, recommendations, she has my full testimony to who she is and for those children, and that's www.lady Ladyykendal.online. Please send any messages through there and work with Flo and yourself. We need this circle of support. We need to be helping each other. Let's lift out that invisible hand to teach everybody what it would be like, how would I feel when I help somebody else, because you never know, that day may come when you need someone. Who will be there? Who's going to catch you? What's going to happen? We try not to worry too much on the future, but in situations like Flo has with the fear to go on is about being there. Like for myself, you know, I will always be there for Flo and for the children. And if she needs me, it's like constantly connecting with them because you need that constant connection and everything going on there. We will bring Flo back for another show on here because we're going to talk— because we spoke about Dennis and non-verbal and mainly on that and You know, Lewis in his own right has his own show with the autism, then he's at the Pauline Quirk Academy, and he just, again, another amazing human being. And for John and yourself, so tonight I've got a— Flo, can I ask you, what would the message— we're running out of time, but you know, what would be your message to the listener to move from this interview, you know, what is your message for them? To be honest, I want to start with you, and because I said many times, I was very lucky to meet such nice people like you in my life. So I know God give me hard work to deal with and to find a solution of this and to help my children. But having people like you, Lady Candle, in my life, and like others, I really appreciate and really said to myself, "Oh, well, there's positive and negative." I know you had hard time, but you know, you have the door open to Lady Candle or other ladies, for example, if you're struggling, or even sometimes when you put them post where are positive things, you just, you just fulfill me, you just raise me up on that day. And you know, sometimes when you have that affection with someone, even when you see in the picture, it gives you that positive energy. So, I really thank you for being there for me, for my family, for my boys, and for everything what you've done. And I really appreciate the fact that, When first we met, I said, "Oh, I have children with needs." And you said to me, "Oh, don't worry, because even me have different needs." And I did said to people before, and this one, this one what I want to say to people, we all have needs, in one way or the other, we all have needs. We have to be there for each other, We have to understand as much as we can. As I said many times, even if I can't help you, at least don't hurt you more. If you are in pain and if I know that I can't help you, at least don't give you more pain, don't cause you more pain. So, thank you so much, Liz Worth. And I'm sorry, guys, that's the end of our show, and goodbye from Flo. And myself. See you next week.