Health Hacktivators with Dr Alka Patel – Sue Moxley, Weight and the effects of the Menopause

You're listening to Health Hacktivators with me, Dr. Alka Patel, on the Woman's Radio Station. Before we get into today's conversation, please do support today's show sponsor, Youth and Earth. Youth and Earth have a range of products that I love to use myself to supercharge my metabolism, to support my health, and to slow down cellular aging. So just be sure you click the link in the show notes for exclusive offers which Youth and Earth are so generously giving only for for listeners of this show. Welcome to Health Hacktivators with lifestyle medicine doctor, GP, and longevity expert Dr. Alok Patel. This show will help you to discover a hidden health hacking code that unlocks your phenomenal potential for an outstanding healthspan, lifespan, and wealthspan. The show features candid conversations with celebrities, influencers, and industry icons, real-life stories, and cutting-edge health hacktivating advice that other doctors might not tell you. Discover why now is the time to join the strategic self-care revolution and experience the profound effects this will have on your personal and professional success. Now, here is your host, Dr. Alka Patel. Hi, hey, and hello, Health Activators. This week's show is dedicated to Nicola Bulley, who went missing in January in Lancashire. My heart really does go out to her family and her friends. At the start of the investigation, there was a lot of speculation into her disappearance that then led to the Lancashire Police releasing a statement which said that Nicola was suffering from the menopause and that this resulted in mental health and alcohol issues. Now, this statement was very provocative in the way that the menopause was highlighted, provoking questions around: was this information necessary to share? And also provoking thinking about how there could be hundreds of women, thousands, millions around the world struggling with the transition of the menopause without help or support to turn to. Today I have with me on the show the beautiful Sue Moxley, who talks about her experiences of the menopause. Sue is a TV presenter, she's a journalist, previous beauty editor for The Sun, and currently beauty editor for Menopause Life. She's married to David van Hey, singer from Bucks Fizz, and Sue and David are now also a dynamic singing duo. And Sue's also a lover of dogs. She's an avid supporter of the charities Paws to Rescue and Green as well. In today's conversation, Sue reveals the effect that vaginal nerve pain through the menopause had early on in her marriage and how the menopause resulted in disordered eating. This is something that she has never spoken about before. Before we get into today's show, please do support today's show partner, Youth and Earth. Youth and Earth have a range of products that I love to use myself to supercharge my metabolism, to support my health, and to slow down cellular aging. Just be sure you click the link in the show notes for exclusive offers which Youth and Earth are so generously giving for listeners of this show. Hello, Sue. It is so, so lovely to have you here. Hello. Thank you very much for inviting me on. Oh, you're very, very welcome. Look, I want to start by talking about the menopause, of course, and I guess it's such a talked about subject. I mean, never has there been a more talked about subject. We're talking about the menopause a lot more than we used to, and yet we're not talking about it enough. There's this real sort of deep-rooted image, isn't there, of a woman who, who loses everything because of the menopause. She loses her femininity, she loses her ability to bear children, loses her relevance, she loses her mind. There's still very much this sort of reductionist stigma to the, to the menopause. And I know that you write for Menopause Life, so what are your thoughts on the way that we're writing about the menopause now and talking about the menopause at the moment? I think women are becoming much more open about it and, you know, welcoming other women to discuss it and self-help groups. And yeah, there are quite a few magazines out there now. I think men may still find it a little bit awkward to talk about, but yeah, I think that it's getting better. I mean, people like Davina McCall and— oh, there's quite a few like high, you know, high-name celebrities that are discussing it. And but yeah, I do think it's a huge change in someone's life. I think it affects people differently. I do believe that. I do believe that some women can sail through it and other women have huge, huge problems with it. And yeah, once upon a time it was you'd go to the doctor and they'd tell you, you know, okay, you're getting old, your life's over, everything's dried up and dropped and whatever, and here's some HRT, go away and get on with it. Whereas now there's a lot more available options. You know, we can change our diet to help. There's something called bioidentical hormones. I'm sure you must know about those, which, which I take. So that's where you have a blood test and you see exactly what, um, what you're lacking in, what you need, and a prescription is made especially for you, um, so that you get the right amount of whatever it is you need. But I'm not sure that's available to everybody though. I don't think that's available on the NHS. I think it's still something private. So I do— I think that should be allowed. On the NHS. Not sure what you think about bioidentical hormones because not everyone's— yeah, yeah. I mean, you're right, there's a real swing in the conversation about HRT, isn't there, from something that, you know, 20 years ago no one was talking about. And if they were, it was very much about, I don't want HRT, because there was so much media around the risk. And I have to say, the media and medical profession have to take massive responsibility for the way that menopause and HRT is being portrayed. But I don't know, I think 20 years later, I mean, when I think back to when my mum, say, was going through this time in her life, there wasn't any conversation, you know, hot flushes, feeling tired, changes to your skin. Women, as you say, seem to get on with it. They didn't really then even reach out for support, want to think about HRT. But 20 years later, that pendulum seems to have swung so far the other way that now it feels as though— I don't know what your feelings are, but I've certainly noticed that the menopause seems to become the default reason behind everything. Everything seems to come down to the menopause. I mean, in the case of Nicola Bulley, for example, the police, aren't they there now? Exactly, they're now sharing it. Yeah, as though it's sort of some kind of right to share a woman's life cycle with the public. And I mean, what do you think about that? Yeah, no, no, that's, that's absolutely shocking what they did there. But, you know, that's the press and the newspapers for you, isn't it? And, um, but I think that, you know, I do think it's getting better in the way that we do talk about it more, and women are not afraid to talk about it. But you are correct, everyone says, oh, oh, it's the menopause, you know, she's, she's gone mad, the menopause, this, that, the other. And it— and that's, that's not a very nice thing for, for women to have to, to have to deal with. Um, it can change your life incredibly. As I said, some people just sail through it. My, my own mum said she didn't even remember going through the menopause. She doesn't remember anything different at all. Whereas me, I had like really, really bad problems, really bad problems. Um, where— tell us about some of that. What were you, what were you going through? It's quite deep. And, um, is that okay? Yeah, look, if you're happy to share, um, for sure. Yeah, no, I did, I did actually, um So overnight, one, literally, like, sex for me became really, really incredibly painful. Just overnight, something happened. And I didn't know what it was. It was, what is this? And I probably spent about 3 years researching, trying different things. I was even on, like, nerve pain tablets. Amitriptyline. You know, which made me go dizzy and high blood pressure, reading online, all sorts of things. And I really didn't know what was wrong with me. And yeah, so I did finally go to see a gynecologist who, who was like God to me because he actually said, well, it's very simple what's happening to you. He said is that where you're, where you're losing your, your collagen, your skin around that area becomes thin. So it doesn't just split and tear. It's also kind of like your nerve endings are exposed. And within 3, after 3 years, someone just told me that in one sentence. But that took an awful lot of research. And then I treated that going forward. You know, there's something called the Mona Lisa machine, and where you have laser treatment to thicken the walls of your, your private parts and, and then get on the right, the right HRT. And, you know, amazingly, I, I completely— well, I'd say I'm 90% better now, but I kind of had to find that out by myself. You know, um, awful lot. So I do think there should be loads and loads of, you know, information out there. I do think there is more information than there used to be, but just me saying that, you know, it might say— someone might think, well, that's what happens to me, and I didn't really know what it was, you know. Yeah, yeah. And thank you for sharing that, because as you say, there's lots of areas around the menopause we do talk about and some that we barely talk about. And as you say, sex is often one of those things, and vaginal dryness. And we sometimes don't even like to use the words around talking about the vulva and the vagina. And yeah, I hate that word dryness, but it wasn't, it wasn't just that. This is what I— because, because, you know, everyone says dryness, but I actually had nerve pain. Yeah, that's, that's the difference, you know. I mean, it isn't just that you need lubrication or whatever to actually have nerve pain. Is, is like, wow, you know, and someone actually said that to me and it all made sense like really, really quickly. Um, but yeah, it's a long time to find that out and, um, I'm very glad I did anyway. So no, and I'm glad as well. And I think there's something around information as well. Sometimes it's overwhelming information now that we've got, you know, Dr. Google at the end of our, of our fingertips. So it's really important, isn't it, to find the credible information to to know what's specific to you, because I'm so grateful you've shared even that today, because I think there will be some resonance with, with women and even, you know, men listening. This isn't a conversation only for women to, to tune into. And, and I think you have to go on your own journey to really get to exactly what you did, which was the root of it. This isn't the superficial stuff, it's right, right to the root of it, which in your case, as you say, it's, it's nerves. And we have a different sort of sensory— we have sensory changes when we go through the menopause as well. Pain thresholds change, your nerve endings change, and so all of that becomes relevant if that's your specific symptom. And I think that's so important to do, is to go through your journey, become that woman who gets, you know, empowered with information and then finds the way that's the right way for her. So, you know, but hopefully not take 3 years to find— yeah, because that, that was really dreadful, you know, thinking, well, my life, kind of that part of my life is over, and I'd only really just got married as well, to be honest. It was a second marriage. But, um, yeah, it took me, it took me that, that amount of time. So that's why I'm happy to talk about that, and, um, and I have shared it because, um, I think it's important. What about your partner then, um, Sue? What was his response to you? He was absolutely fine, to be honest. Um, But, you know, some men might not have been. Some, you know, they might have. And it really isn't the woman's fault, you know. Um, she can't help that. But he was actually— he was fine. He was very supportive. And, um, you know, there's other— there's other things you can do, isn't there? No, no, look, but I think, as I said, I think men need to be part of this conversation as well, don't they? I think when it comes to men— women supporting women is something that, that we do, but for men, it can still feel like quite a mystery. And unless we're involving them in the education and in the information, it will always remain a mystery. So I think the fact that you were able to, to talk about it, have that sort of more understanding conversation, is, is pretty critical as well at this time, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think also it, it caused me another problem as well, which I've never really kind of shared, but I, I will, is that Oh, you know, throughout my whole life I was always really slim, um, like a size 10, and I could eat whatever I wanted really. People would be absolutely jealous because I could eat, you know, 5 chocolate bars and not put on a pound in weight. Um, I really could. And then suddenly, um, you hit the menopause and the, and the, and the weight starts to go on. And you know it's menopause weight because, right, if I did ever put any weight on, which was hardly ever when I was younger, it would go to my thighs. Yeah, but it goes to your tummy, definitely goes to your tummy and the love handles and that kind of thing. And for the first time in my life, I had to diet, and, and then I kind of got into a binge diet situation and ended up giving myself an eating disorder, to be honest, because of the— yeah, because of the restriction of dieting all the time. Suddenly you couldn't carry it on anymore, and suddenly you would think, okay, and you eat everything in sight. And I don't just mean— I mean really overboard, you know, binge eating. And yeah, I do believe that that's where I kind of started to have problems with food, of which I'm, I'm pretty good now. But that took me a long time to, to get, because then, you know, bingeing, dieting becomes a way of life. You can't, you can't say to yourself, I just want to eat normally, because you're either in diet mode or binge mode.. And yeah, so I think the menopause started that off as well, which is, uh, yeah, it's quite mad, isn't it? Yeah. Gosh, you know, thank you for sharing that and feeling you could share that today. I know it sounds as it's the first time you've done that. Yeah, it's first time ever. Yeah. No, I'm, I'm glad you did so because you know what, when we talk about eating and what you've described as the sort of eating disorder, we often think about it at the other end of life, don't we? Sort of teenage young girls, um, But there's this time— yeah, no, I think— yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm, um, I'm, I'm an aesthetician and a beauty expert. I have lots of women in here, and I think there's a lot more problems with eating than what we, um, what we know— that, that we know about. I think it's a very secretive, um, thing, and people don't like to share it because they're so embarrassed. And, um, you know, feel bad about themselves. But I think I know lots of ladies that have trouble with food, uh, and they're much— they're in their 50s and their 60s, might have started for the same reason as me really, you know, that you suddenly do put on weight, um, around that age. And, uh, it's very unfair, isn't it, the menopause? I think God was a man. Oh gosh, yes, yes, yes, absolutely. But I think it's, you know, how do you look at this? Do you look at this as kind of transition in your life, that kind of new spring of a new part of your life cycle that you can really kind of feel much more grounded in and empowered with. Or back to what I was talking about in the beginning, which is you kind of feel, you know, reductionist and smaller and, and of no significance. And I think it's— that's the conversation, isn't it? Is giving you that kind of lease of life when so much is changing about you. And as you say, yes, the weight changes because the hormones are going through such a significant shift. And, and as you said, you're in the beauty industry, and so much of our I guess our identity is connected with our appearance, isn't it? Whether that's the— yeah, far too much actually. I think, you know, there's so much pressure these days, isn't there? Um, I mean, I was disappointed that I couldn't put a filter on this. Only joking. You're really breaking through, you really are. Thank you. Um, there's so much pressure what's it all about? You know, I can remember when I was like 12 or whatever— sorry, I am quite old— playing hopscotch and rounders and all of that. And now the kids and the girls are literally on, you know, Instagram all day or TikTok, and it's all about what they look like and who's going to the best places and who's got the best clothes and I think it's such a pressure on young people, not just girls but boys as well. Um, it's, it's quite sad. I think it's quite sad that how our lives have become, you know, or their lives have become all about the internet, you know. It literally is just about the internet. I go out to lunch or something, my husband, and you're having a chat and you look on the next table and there's a family and the mum and dad are— and the 3 kids are all on their phone like this. They're not talking to their parents or conversing or having fun. They're just on that the whole time. You see it all the time, don't you? But, um, so let me ask you, what, what took you into the beauty industry? Because I guess on one hand you're saying it's all about looks and everyone's so into it, and then on the other hand you're in an industry which sort of adds, I guess, more fuel to that, doesn't it? Yeah, I suppose. Um, well, I kind of— the thing that I do now is mostly to help people with aging, you know, anti-aging, uh, um, advice and, and treatments and things like that. But yes, I was always— when I was 16, I became— this is quite a long story, but I'll make it brief— I became a fashion model. So it was all about how I looked. And, um, the internet wasn't around then. It wasn't anything, you know, so different. I would go to castings with my portfolio and we'd go, whereas these days they just send pictures over or you would do it all on the, on the internet. Um, yeah, so that was— and I spent 10 years of my life as a model. And then traveling the world. It was all about looks. Yeah, it was all about looks. And I don't know how that didn't send me mad, to be honest, because I remember being sent home from a job one day because my boobs weren't big enough. I never did any, like, pageant— it wasn't that. It was just, I think we were modeling nightwear or something. Or, you know, um, girls would be told to, to go on diets and um, that they was under that pressure all the time. Um, yeah, it's a funny old world, the modeling world. But then from there I progressed to become a makeup artist. Yeah. And so in the same business but behind the camera, so the pressure was off of me really. It was, uh, making other people look good. And then, um, so that became my career for 20 years. And in that time, I, I brought out a makeup brand which is all over the country in Superdrug, and I was the beauty editor of The Sun newspaper. So, um, yeah, so that, that was, uh, an education as well. And that's kind of how I then— I then after that went into aesthetics and teaching aesthetics, semi-permanent makeup, dermal fillers, you know, all that kind of thing. Botox, and that's what I do now. But on the side, I am a singer as well, which is random, I know. Wow, gosh, thank you for that. That's a real, that's a real journey, isn't it? You've kind of been in the industry but from different lenses— in front of the camera, behind the camera, now kind of teaching and training, got your own beauty brand as well. And, and I think you're right, you know, what we see on the outside, it matters because we connect our identity with it, but Beauty, of course, does go deeper than the skin as well, doesn't it? And then that's what you're talking about with the culture and where we're at at the moment as well. I mean, me having that eating disorder, it's pure vanity really, isn't it? I mean, why, why couldn't I just accept that I'd gone up a few sizes? You know, I'd got older. You know, I would— why, why could I not accept that? Being a couple of sizes bigger is not a problem, but I admit I found it a problem mentally. I found it a problem. I don't think you can help that. I think people that can really, really accept themselves are, are lucky actually, or very confident, one of the two. You know, they, they must have masses of self-confidence to be able to to accept their faults as well. Um, maybe being in an industry that I was in made me feel the way I did. Yeah, remember, you've been surrounded by that from the age of 16. Yeah, trying to carry on looking like I did when I was 20. Yeah, I— but, you know, it's impossible. I can't, I can't look— well, you look incredible, I have to say. So you look absolutely beautiful. As I said, you're radiating. There's a real, there's a real glow, and, and that's what women want. The good thing about putting on a bit of weight is, is it fills your face out. So it fills out the wrinkles and the lines. Yes. Whereas if you get thin, your face, you know, can have drops and you see all the imperfections. So I think there was a famous actress once, I don't know if it was— who it was— and she said when you get to 50, you have to choose between your face or your body. You can't have both. I can't remember who that was, but I'll find out. I don't know if someone did, like Diana Dors. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, but, um, oh, I think you can have both, Sue. I think you can have, you can have both. And I think it's not about having both. I think it's also this, this recognition that when you talk about kind of weight or not accepting, you know, what you are, it's also wanting to be at your healthiest, be at your own best, be where you feel more energized. Because the better you feel, the sort of more of that you put out in the world of as well, don't you? Um, but, um, for sure. And I wanted to ask you about something else, just back to the menopause, um, as well. It's just kind of because we're talking about beauty and, and stuff like that. It's, um, I was in a well-known high street shop recently, and, uh, I mean, you know, rhymes with roots, but you put your feet in it. And I was, um, pretty surprised to see this range of skin creams and serums and cleansers, and they've all branded with the word menopause, menopause skincare, menopause facial cream, menopause face washes. And this, as you said, this was all used to come under the branding of aging, which is what you're talking about, what you're, you know, where your expertise lies as well. But it now seems to all come under the heading of menopause. And I looked at this range and I was like, this is worrying me a bit because there's this whole sense— personally, I think that that's a marketing angle. Exactly. You know, it's literally anyone going through the menopause is gonna go into that so-called shop or anywhere else and think, that's what I need because I'm going through the menopause, I need to buy this face cream. If I don't, my face is gonna fall apart. What they— but the truth of the matter is there's nothing different. I know I shouldn't be saying this really, but there's probably nothing different in those ingredients to an anti-aging cream. It's just a marketing, a marketing thing. Yeah, but this worries me. I think this, you know, this is really important to highlight, is that there should be some rigor around sort of testing and credibility. And some of those huge brands are going to have a lot of investment in research and development before they can put that label on. But we have to recognize, as you say, that Bactec connects with the identity. If you're someone who goes in there and you identify with, I'm the one going through the menopause, you're going to gravitate to that, but it's, but it's marketing, and we have to be really, really careful that there's credibility behind some of the claims on a lot of cosmetics and skincare products as well. Well, to be honest, you know, I had my own, I had my own makeup brand for many years. I mean, I've still, I've still got some products, but when I used to go to the factory, um, where my, my products were being made You, you'd be surprised that a lot— say, say you're having a mascara, for example, and you've got this mascara vat which is full of mascara, and your, your product is being put in that, you know, that mascara is going into your product, but it's also going into lots of other people's products. It's exactly the same, yeah, but different branding. And the mascara that, say, I sold was £8, but someone else is charging £38 for the same thing, um, but that's different packaging. So it's a bit like that with skincare as well. I think that, um, you know, you need to look at the ingredients on the back, really. Yeah. And think, yeah, am I getting anything extra special with this particular product than I am with something that might be £10 or £15 cheaper. And, you know, it's, it's for the masses. So yeah, look at the ingredients and see if you are getting anything different. Yeah, but yeah, a lot of the time it is marketing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just, I think we just need to raise awareness of that is turn over the packaging, read the ingredients, know exactly what you're getting, because again, I'm sure you found this in the, the backend behind the scenes that there's also things in products that we really don't want in there, you know, toxins, chemicals. There is a lot of stuff that is doing harm as well. So what do you think? What are those magic ingredients then? If there's women listening today, or, you know, a partner wants to buy, buy a gift for his girlfriend or his wife, and, and what are the ingredients that they should be looking for then? Well, the most important ingredient of all really is sunscreen. So it's something with SPF 30, 40. I mean, most face creams will have SPF in it, and it is the most important thing for anti-aging anyway, because, you know, we're not just talking about getting cancer, but we're talking about— it's the worst thing for aging is the sun. You know, you get pigmentation, premature lines, dried-out skin. It's, it's really, really bad. So an ingredient with a product with SPF in it is very important. Vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin D— all those things are really good for the skin. Of course, you know, like most products are kind of probably 80% water. As well. Um, you know, if you look on the back of any products, it will have a huge percentage of water. So, but that's, that's with most products. So look for the, the vitamins and the SPF, and you're kind of on the right road, really. Um, yeah, hyaluronic acid is another really good— what, sometimes it's a scary word, hyaluronic because it sounds like you're going to be putting something on your skin that's going to burn it or damage it, but it's what we already have, um, in our skin, and we just need to put that back. So hyaluronic acid is a big one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm glad you've sort of lifted the lid on the behind the scenes of how products are made. And as you say, water is a huge component, but we need the hydration, so that's sort of really important. But to really look out for what the kind of active, active ingredients are— what are your views on sort more, I guess, plant-powered sources. So when you talked about vitamin C, things like, for example, rose oil is a well-known sort of source of vitamin C in products. Well, I'm totally— yeah, I'm totally up for natural ingredients like that. I mean, vegan ingredients, you know, vegan products, because I'm a huge, huge animal lover. You know, I've got 5 dogs, and, um, if, if my husband would let me, I'd have more, but he says he's going to divorce me if I bring another dog through. You're not going to swap him for a dog, are you? Why? Oh, it depends how cute the dog is. Um, so yeah, so I'm very much into, you know, animal-free products. There's no need for that. I was surprised actually that it does still go on, uh, even though we think it, it doesn't. I mean, I think it's a lot less, but I think animal testing does still go on. But yeah, I'm very much into, uh, natural products. I'm a big fan of CBD oil. I don't know if you're a fan of that or not really, or— yeah, it's sort of still in that sort of early stages of sort of almost proof of concept, isn't it? But I think you get the benefits by, as you say, back to that individual level and what's it actually doing directly for whether it's your skin or your mood or other things as well. So, um, do you think it's still like not been proven? Is that what you just said? Well, I'm, I'm definitely not one to wait for, you know, big large-scale studies to prove something, but I think, you know, at the moment it's very much kind of case-by-case basis, isn't it? And I think that's important. I think that, you know, it's very, very important for that— I always call it the n=1 experiment, where you're the most important person. And whatever you're doing, if you're making sure that your risk-benefit, your risk and harm ratio is much more in favor of benefit, then I'm up for, you know, really trying anything and everything, so long as you're using data and information to really understand the effect on you. Because it's, you know, we can put all sorts of things, say, on our skin And by the time we've put 4 different products on, it's like, well, I don't really know which made a difference or didn't make it. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. You know, I just— I have used CBD in facials and things, and I just find that it is very good anti-inflammatory, right? Um, you know, I definitely think that— that's my opinion— that, um, it helps to, uh, calm down inflammation and overly sensitive skin. I do find that. But then Once again, there's, there's good and bad products out there. There's people that have jumped on the bandwagon, and I mean, there must be 500 brands or more now of CBD. Yeah. Um, and they're not all, uh, what they, that, you know, they are cut out to be. So, so what do women say when you say, I'm offering CBD facials? Because that's quite novel, isn't it? I don't know, it's become quite a big thing in the last couple of years. Um, some people go, oh, 'Oh, that sounds nice.' Um, they think they're going to get high on it or something, which they're certainly not because there's no THC in it. I mean, like a minute, 0.1%. So it isn't that at all. Um, some people a bit scared, they think it might be going to change the way they feel or do something bad to them. And some people are very up for trying it. So, um, Yeah, it's just, you know, I quite like the thought of CBD helping people. So it is natural, comes from a plant. Yes, exactly, which is what I was going to come back to, is it's looking back at the, you know, the source of this. And you get a lot of— we're talking about the menopause, of course— but you get a lot of phytoestrogens from, as you say, from plants, which can then have a very direct positive effect on the skin as well. So that's definitely kind of another source because it's mimicking the effects of estrogen. They get absorbed, they can help with that collagen and elastin, uh, that you are talking about as well. So there's definitely, you know, as you say, moving towards the sort of power of plants, those natural ingredients, looking for those on the back of your skincare products, um, and, and trying those, I would say, is the primary compared to the kind of, you know, the bigger brands that we're so used to. Um, I think that it's really important as well, support as you did, start up your own brand, make sure you've got real clarity on the ingredients that are going in there, thinking about those natural solutions, having enough kind of research behind what you're doing to make sure that, that you know exactly what, what's going on to your skin is so, so, so important. It's the one of the biggest organs that we have, uh, in our body, and it's got lots and lots of microbes all over it. And so we really, really need to think about what are we doing best for our skin, don't we? Because it all connects. I think as well that, um, I do think that like anxiety and stress and things does affect your skin as well. I do think that. Do you not— do you not think that, that, uh, yeah, anxiety and depression, or, you know, I do think that, that it can affect the way we feel physically. I do. I think it can cause illnesses and, you know, skin problems. There's absolutely a whole sort of mind-body-gut-skin connection, which is very, very connected through your whole nervous system, through the hormones that we're producing, things like serotonin, for example. So there's, there's a lot more research that's being done in this area, and we have to kind kind of open our eyes to this is how we should be thinking about all of those connections and connecting what you eat, well, how you feel, to what shows up on your skin. And all of that is where you need to start channeling. If you're not feeling great, if your skin's having a breakout, it's not just about, right, I'll put this anti-acne lotion on or try this cream. It's really thinking about as well, how am I sleeping? How am I moving? How am I eating? What sunlight am I getting? Inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you a quick little story about my little Yorkshire Terrier. She gets epileptic fits, and she also gets these really horrible gunky, runny eyes. She won't let me wipe her eyes, she goes mad, she actually bites me. But, you know, I recently changed her diet to something I won't mention any brands, but it's, it's, it's quite expensive. The food is cooked especially for dogs. Yeah, and it's got all these vitamins in and hasn't got any nasties in it. I swear to you, in the 3 months that she's been on this diet, she's only had 2 tiny little fits. Usually she gets 1 a week, and her eyes have completely cleared up. So that it has to be the food, it has to be the diet change that's done that. Amazing. So, so important what you eat. Totally, totally. And you know what, like sometimes we eat the stuff that we wouldn't even feed to our pets, and, and that's crazy. You know, the stuff that we're eating, all the kind of over-processed food, as an example. If you think about just your, your little story with your lovely little Yorkshire Terrier there, is why don't we treat ourselves the same way? Because we'll notice the difference as well. But that really shocked me. Absolutely. I can't tell you how that little— that shocked me because I thought, wow, this can't be. You know, I've— she's 9 years old. She's had— she's had epilepsy. I don't know if you know this, if there's a connection between epilepsy and age. I don't know. But, you know, she's 9 years old. She's always had these fits. And they're really unpleasant. And why has it changed? Because of this. And then I thought to myself, if you can do that to a dog, a change of diet, what must it do to people, you know, eating the wrong things? Yeah. Or indeed eating the right things. It's incredible. So that makes me think now every time I go to pick up the chocolate or the ice, because sugar's my thing. I like sugar, and it's not good for you, sugar. So that makes me think now. I think about Pebbles, my dog, and how her life has changed from her diet. Yeah, and, and absolutely, because food for your body, it's information. Food is education. It uses all those molecules in your food to signal and connect and then decide what it's going to make make more of or less of, or, or how it's going to affect your nervous system or your biology. And if we start thinking of food like that, then we can really have a focus. Like, you are a bit more— that little bit more focused now on should I or shouldn't I, can I or can't I, will I or won't I, right? It doesn't take cravings away though. You still get the cravings, but it helps a bit to know, you know, that, you know, you really should be putting good things in your body. Yeah. And There's always that pause between a craving and taking action. And guess who's in charge? I know it's hard, right? Because the cravings come strong and fast, but there's always that moment of pause. And I always say that, just, just wait, really think about, is this something that I need right now? Or do I— but it is hard when you, when you've kind of given yourself like a kind of eating disorder over time. And that's become normal, the way that, you know, that's become your normal. Um, it's, you know, you have got that subconscious which is kind of like 90% of us, isn't it? And then our conscious is 10%, and they're having a battle. When you're, you're not— your, your conscious self is saying you shouldn't eat that, and then your subconscious, like, go on, eat it, eat it, eat it. So it's having that battle in your head. But yeah, it's good advice actually to pause and then try to let that feeling pass. Yeah. And it's back to— unfortunately, it does come back, and it will because it's designed to, right? That's, that's what your brain and mind do. They bring thoughts to you constantly, 50,000, 60,000 a day. But it's back to what you were talking about right at the beginning, which is about your identity. You've got to know why you don't want that piece of chocolate or that piece of cake, because if you don't have that connection with the reason then of course the sort of the willpower, the self-control, the desire, the craving is going to overtake. So you've got to connect with that, you know, person that you are. I'm healthy, I'm energetic, I'm vibrant. What would a vibrant woman do right now? What would an energetic woman do right now? What would a healthy woman do right now? And if you connect that piece with you, with your identity, then you're much less likely to even want the chocolate. You could have it if you want it, but you don't want it. Yeah, no, I agree. I think if you, if you get on the correct path and, you know, you do, you do get in control of your diet and your exercise and the way you treat yourself and your rest and your sleep and all of that, the better and better you feel. It just gets better and better. Whereas if you're on a downward spiral you know, you think, well, there's nothing else that's going to make me feel better than to eat a bar of chocolate or 6 ice creams, or I'm gonna do that, because you're on that downward spiral, which that just makes you worse and worse. So yeah, you need to get on that, the good path. Yeah. And things just get better and better. So I know I've been there, I've done both. So what do you do now, Sue? What do you do to self-care, to take care of yourself? Well, I do do a lot of walking with my dogs. I mean, sometimes I have to do two walks because if my husband doesn't come with me, I can't manage five dogs. It's chaos. And where I live, everyone goes, oh no, here she comes, the mad dog woman. They're barking and they run away from me. So I sometimes do it twice. So I do a lot of walking. I love my sleep. I sleep a lot. I think I need that amount of sleep. Yeah. Um, I, um, I do try to eat well, although sometimes I do fall back into the— I still get the sugar cravings and I have to battle with that. But, um, yeah, I look after myself. I don't sit in the sun. I'm very anti the sun. If you want to keep looking good, ladies, you need to stay out of the sun. I don't smoke. I don't really drink alcohol that much. Occasionally, I think it's okay occasionally, but it's not my, you know, it's not really my thing. Yeah, I've kind of put a tiny bit of filler in my face sometimes, and you know, so what? I'm allowed, you know, we're allowed to do that if, if that's what we want to do. So Yeah, positive thinking as well. Positive thinking, which is not always easy. No, but the more confident you are, whether that's with, with how you look, but if you— if that's where that comes from, the more confident you feel, the more likely you are to take those positive health actions that you've been taking, and you're feeling much more conscious about those and having that kind of bigger awareness of your choices and, and making the decisions that work for you. And that's where comes from, doesn't it? It's— you've got to have the self-confidence and the self-belief to, to do that, which, um, which is great. And, um, well, I'm literally, um, doing a course at the moment, believe it or not. I'm, I'm kind of 62, but I still, I still learn new things all the time. Are you 62, did you say? Yeah, you're not 62. I am 62. Wow. So I, um, I still, you know, people go, you should be retiring. I'm learning. I am actually doing a course at the moment and it's called Belief Coding, and I'm not gonna plug it or anything like that, but it is literally about changing your beliefs and turning negative thoughts into positive ones and It doesn't always work, but I'm practicing it a lot, and I'm, I'm trying to do it every day. You know, when I go to bed every night now, I have these new beliefs that I want to, like, um, code in, and I say them before I go to bed every night out loud. Um, and that's, that's what I'm trying to do as well, to be, to become more positive, get rid of the negative thoughts, code And there's more to it than just something that you do. There's definitely a lot of brain science with that, and they've done a lot of research around that that shows that those kind of affirmations that you make that have a positive twist to them then affect your actions. So affirmations affect actions. What you think, you then do. And that— and it's not the sort of— there's science to it. It's not just a woo-woo. I feel great, I am amazing, and all of that. But it's really coding in that belief because you can say it all day long, but do you believe it? Yes, exactly. Yeah. So, um, yeah, you have to— yeah, you have to believe it for it to work. But yeah, I'm— as I said, I'm doing this course and, um, it's very interesting. And, uh, yeah, so I'm trying everything to become I'm a really positive, healthy person because at my age you've got to start looking after yourself. Yeah, at every age, right? And it, you know, it just sometimes feels as though at this stage it feels like it's got a higher importance, but it is important at every age because what you do now affects what happens tomorrow, what happens next month, the next year. So you make those decisions right now, don't you? I'm so glad you did that. I think people are more aware of health these days though. I mean, when we— when I was younger, people used to— I mean, we— when we were kids, we would sunbathe. Sometimes we would bunk school. Yeah, if it was a really hot day. Do you know what bunking school means? Oh yeah, I do. I know what that means. In the summer of '76, there was a heatwave and we used to skip school and go over to this waterfall and cover ourselves in oil and fry, basically lay in the sun and fry with this oil. I mean, it was like baking oil, you know, it was, it wasn't suntan oil, it was literally baking oil. And when I think about that now, oh my God, you know, it's so bad for you. But we didn't know, we didn't really know about skin cancer and, you know, the effects of the sun and all that sort of thing. And I think we are much more aware now of things that can do us harm. Yeah. And damage, you know. And I think it's got to be— I always talk about the sort of Goldilocks effect, you know, which is not too little and not too much, but just the right amount, because the sun is a beautiful thing. And every day, if you get out every morning and just look into the sunlight, even if it's cloudy, you start to set your rhythms for the day. So that's one thing, not to be afraid of the sun, because also you get your vitamin D. Exactly. So it's just getting it just right and knowing what that— yeah, you do need your vitamin D, but you know, you can walk around in the sun and get those— that vitamin, but it's just like I said, laying in it for hours and hours with, with oil to see. My mum used to say when I got home from school, how have you got such a suntan? I can't trust myself, Mum. Yeah, yeah, whilst I was studying. Oh, love it, love it. So where do you see the trends going then in terms of sort of the, the beauty world and, and what you're doing? Well, definitely, like, like we've discussed all, you know, all the way through this today, it's like menopause is becoming a huge thing. It really is. You know, there's more menopause magazines out there, there's more menopause products. And so I think we're going to see more and more of that. Maybe it'll hit a peak and then settle down again because it's definitely a huge thing. But like I said, I think a lot of it is marketing. Yeah. Um, so yeah, um, I think things like, you know, what I do, aesthetics, um, I think that's not going to go away, to be honest. Um, and it does need to be more regulated, you know, uh, because there's so many people just can go and do like a half a day course and, and then start sticking injections in people's faces. And, you know, it does need to have better regulation, um, but I don't think it's going to go away. I think, I think aesthetics and surgery and things like that is here to stay. I do, because people, they want to look, they want to look younger and good. No, no, and it doesn't always work, you know, so they can do too much, or, um, or, or it can go wrong. But also, you know, you don't hear about all the, the really good things when people do have little tweaks and it looks nice. And I'm, I'm all for it. I would be, it's my business. But if you can buy new clothes, yeah, why not have a little tweak on your face um, if that makes you happy and you can afford it, it's your money, you know, as long as you go to the right people. Yeah, yeah, you're right. And don't get obsessed with it, you know. People get obsessed with it and then they do more and more and more, and in the end they look like, say, Madonna did the other day. And I was just— it was literally the image that was coming up in my head was this is the sort of stuff we end up seeing on the media, is where goes completely wrong. Um, and I'm not sure what's happened to her face. I mean, it's, it's, it's so big. It's like, has she put on weight? Maybe. I don't know. But it's— yeah, she, she must have a lot of filler in there, or she's put on weight as well. I don't know. But it doesn't look good. But I'm coming back to what you said about being obsessed by— I mean, do you think— and we talked a little bit about you know, addiction and talked about your eating disorder and sometimes these cravings and sometimes it's really hard to resist that. I mean, I think about people who have tattoos, for example, and I don't know anyone who's just had one. Yeah, one and you want a little bit extra. Is this what you're finding as well? I mean, you must have a lot of clients who come back repeatedly, of course, but do they come back for more? Is it possible to just Okay, so I think the ladies of my age that come here, you know, 50s and 60s, they like— they just want to look like they used to look. Yeah, they don't particularly want to have big lips or this or that. They just want— they just want a little refresher and to look fresh and young. It's the younger girls that become really, really addicted to filler and, you know, Botox. I mean, I have girls of like 20 or 25 asking me for Botox. You really don't— I mean, yes, it is a good preventative, but you don't need it at 20. You really don't. And then I have the girls that come to me to get fillers dissolved where they've had so much they look ridiculous, or they've had all their jawline done or their cheeks, and they look like a completely different person. I find it's the younger people that are, that are addicted to it very much more than, yeah, like the older age group. And once again, that's social media doing that. That's Instagram, and you know, where they're looking at these girls with perfect lips and perfect brows and completely smooth faces, um, that have had a lot done. But also everyone puts filters on and they look amazing. They don't really look like that in real life. But where do you— where do you draw the line? As you said, it's— this is an unregulated industry. Um, interestingly, I was at, um, a lady's house at the weekend just having my eyelashes done, and she was telling me about another client, a a mum that came with her daughter, and her daughter was 9 years old, and she came to get her nails done, not her lashes, but she wanted some gels done. And she was really worried that, you know, where do you draw this line? Here's a mum who's bringing her daughter saying, can you just do these gels for her? It might have been a nice mother-daughter day out, but where do you kind of draw that line that, you know, well, just paint your nails at home, darling. Sorts of— we used to do when we were kids, right, at home. You'd get out your nail varnish and you'd paint, and you paint your teddy, and you paint everywhere, right? And you just have some fun with it. But where do you draw the line? Where does this start? If it's starting as young as 9, something's going wrong. Well, to me, I'm sure that must be the mother rather than the daughter. No, I don't know. But no, that's ridiculous. Um, yeah, of course little girls like to, to paint their nails, and— but you don't want to be putting gels on because at the end of the day they, they can damage your nails and, um, she could end up with deformed, deformed nails when she gets older. Um, yeah, I, I— that is a little bit of a worry. I recently got a, um, letter through from the council because I have licenses here and things like that saying that it was now illegal for me to to inject anyone under the age of 18, even with parents' consent. So that's a good thing. That must have just come in. Yeah, I literally got that letter about 2 weeks ago. It is illegal now for it, you know, for anyone under the age of 18 to have any injectables. Yeah, definitely. But yeah, having gel nails at 9. Yeah. And you also teach as well, don't you? You do the training for others who in the industry. I train, I hopefully I, I train everyone really well, um, and we bring in lots of health and safety. And my courses are like, you know, 3, 4 a week, 2 weeks, whereas some of these young people that are doing, um, injections are literally going out and going on half a day course, and they're not— they're not insured, they haven't got licenses, and they're going out, and it is dangerous sticking. And this is where you get all the bad press against aesthetics, because it doesn't need to be like that, you know. In the right circumstances, it can be, you know, it's a good— it's a good thing, as long as it's done correctly and legally. Yeah, absolutely. It definitely needs— needs that. I mean, it's complicated, you know, the anatomy of the face is complex. Exactly. I mean, it's huge. You definitely need to do your anatomy and physiology, um, because yeah, it's dangerous. Yeah, you can block veins and all sorts. Yeah. Well, let's end on a positive note. Sue, what's, uh, what's a message you want to share with, with everyone listening? Well, enjoy your life because we only get one, and we never know what's around the corner. Um, so enjoy your life, um, eat well, be healthy, be positive, laugh a lot, have fun, don't stress about the small stuff, as they say. And, uh, yeah, make the most of every day, live a healthy life, and have fun. Very sensible advice, Steph. So if everyone listening just does one bit of that, then we're all going to be, have a much happier day, aren't we? So nice to talk to you. You too. I know this will resonate with some of you listening. So if like Sue, this is not something you've ever spoken about before, then please, please do talk about it because you don't have to struggle on with your symptoms on your own. And as I always say on this show, you can reach out to me. As well. And just thinking about Sue's weight gain and the change in physique that resulted in her dieting in ways which led to disordered eating, well, for next week's episode, what I want to do is to share with you how hormonal changes through the menopause affect not just your eating patterns but also affect how food is metabolized and how you can then specifically target this without yo-yo diets that don't work. Once again, my thoughts are with Nicola and her family. I wish you a health-activating day. Thank you for listening to Health Activators. If you have enjoyed this episode, then please support the show by leaving us a 5-star review wherever you get your podcasts and by sharing this episode with a friend. Don't forget to click the link in the show show notes right now to find out more details about what was covered in this episode and to connect with Dr. Alka Patel in order to take your strategic self-care to the next level. Please do support today's show partner, Youth and Earth. Youth and Earth have a range of products that I love to use myself to supercharge my metabolism, to support my health, and to slow down cellular aging. Just be sure you click the link in the show notes for exclusive offers which Youth and Earth are so generously giving for listeners of this show. Thank you for listening to Health Hacktivators with me, Dr. Alka Patel, on the Woman's Radio Station. I'd love you to stay connected through the socials. You can find me at Dr. Alka Patel UK, and to learn more about the Woman's Radio Station, do give them a follow too on their socials at Woman's Radio STN.