Mother’s Hour – The Menopause With Meg Mathews

Hello and welcome to Mothers Hour with me, Carolyn Van Beers here on Women's Radio Station. Today, we're looking at a subject that every single one of us women will go through and yet one that is hard ever talked about. Well, my special guest today is on a mission to change all that and she's doing pretty well at it. We're talking about the menopause and my guest today is the wonderful Meg Matthews. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. In fact, you are very welcome, women's Radio station. In fact, it's very apt you're here because we were set up not that long ago to get women talking, to do exactly what you're doing with the menopause, get it out there, put aside taboos and stigmas and, you know, really get women coming together. So what you're doing, I think women, when they talk, they thrive. Absolutely. It's like spinach to Popeye. Absolutely. You've done it in one. So thank you from all the listeners here at Women's Radio station. You're in the right place because we're all going to go through it and we are going to talk today about the menopause. So your show looks a little bit like this. In part one, we're going to talk a little bit more to Meg about her journey with the menopause. In part two, we're going to talk about the symptoms, perimenopause in particular on that one, and how to recognise them. And it can be quite therapeutic just talking about those symptoms. Part three, the treatments, which ones to go for. And also we're going to talk about changing your attitude and other people's attitudes towards the menopause and finding part four. If we get round to it, it's a big show. Self health treatments and how to embrace this new chapter in your life. So make it all started for you. It was quite a dark time for you, wasn't it? Very dark, yeah. So there you are, going through your life. Yep. How old were you? About. I was around when I first started going to the doctor, not knowing what was going on. I was so 47, 48, 49, 51, 52, 53. So, yeah, I was around 47, so I'm nearly turning 54, so it's 47, so it's like six years ago. And how long had you been suffering before you even triggered what was going on here and there? Not. I had. I had never even heard of the word perimenopause. I hadn't even really didn't even know what the menopause was so. To me, I was. I left. I led a very colorful life in the 90s, as we all know. I thought that basically in my mind, I would have weeks or days. And now when I. Because I. I've sort of kept diaries and. And looked at, you know, at the way that my body was, I now know that I was definitely perimenopausal in my early 40s, without a doubt, because the feelings I would get, which would maybe just be like three or four days or a week there, I used to think, oh, my God, I'm not supposed to feel like this. Oh, God, have another glass of wine, have another glass of wine, have another drink. Because why am I feeling flat? Why am I feeling fatigue, why am I feeling angry, why am I feeling emotional and all these other things? So I just thought, no one else seems to be feeling this. So I used to drink a lot more, and that's why I'm now recovering alcoholic. So I used to use that as my crutch, and now I know that they weren't. Now I knew it wasn't PMS because I had never, ever had pms. So my periods were very, very. Always very light and always. Never had to have a hot water bottle. Never had that week before I wanted eight pounds of chocolate and kill your boyfriend and do all that stuff. So you kind of breeze through, really. Yeah. And then I gave birth in an hour and 15 minutes and I got up and had a shower. I didn't even go into, like, you know, labor for very long, for like an hour and 50 minutes. So everything to me was so easy around women's stuff. Yeah. So when I was having these off days, and because I didn't have pms, I think more women will think that their perimenopausal is just pms if they have pms. And then other people might just feel like, me, just think, God, maybe I'm just this person that's just a bit angry all the time. And maybe, you know, my feelings would go all up and down and I didn't really understand. But then I discovered. Then I went when it started to get really on top. So the few days then went into weeks and went into months. That's when I went to my local gp and what kind. So you were feeling anxious, you had really bad days, you were anxiety through the roof. Night sweats. But to me, night sweats. I thought that it was all the shit coming out of my body because I had a few drinks. Yeah, absolutely. So. But at this time I was not drinking, so. But I still was feeling. You know, I just thought, well, maybe your body's just detoxifying itself. You know, your body does all sorts of weird things. But I'd always had night sweats back, even in my 30s, you see, so night sweats have become through my life. So you again, you weren't recognizing what was going on? No, because I'd had them back in my late 30s and in my early 40s, I'd had to have these night sweats. I used to put it down to like, oh, my God, these silk sheets that I had. But as you know. Who has silk sheets? Meg Matthews had silk bloody sheets. So I used to think, oh, it's silk sheets. And then I was feeling really down and the anxiety was through the roof and I couldn't drive and I. And it was like getting worse. Anyway, I kept going back and forth to the GP and they just. Every time I'd say, said what was going on. So I would say, I'm crying, I'm angry, I can't sleep at night, I'm anxious, I. And then, of course, it would be another packet of antidepressants, so. So they just prescribed undressed. That's all they do. Yeah. And you'll probably notice that probably 90 of women in the UK are just given antidepressants. And it's not our GP's faults, our GPs are just not trained. They get a minimum of three years training or none at all. As we know, there's 28 medical schools in the UK, not all of them in the. Have the menop on the curriculum and they're all different curriculum. So it's not our GP's fault and it's not the NHS fault. So, you know, I went in there and I just thought I was going mad. And then I turned into. I didn't leave my house. Then I basically started not to leave the house, not to get dressed, and life started to get really dark and my daughter would go to school and you. And you was taking antidepressants, but they just weren't working. No, no. Oh, gosh, no, they weren't working. So basically I didn't really understand now what was going on. And, you know. And then, of course, you just look into the antidepressants and the more. I just kept reading about. More and more about antidepressants. I wasn't reading about the menopause because I just thought I was going nuts. And then there's all these things that, you know, maybe you're not on the Right one. There's hundreds out there. Try a different one, you know, but you can't come off it. You have to wait, say like three months for them to work, you know? So then all my head's like, well, maybe they've just put me on the wrong antidepressant. So now my life is getting dark. I'm setting an alarm in the morning, I'm getting up, my partner's going to work, my daughter's getting an Uber to do a GCSE's. As soon as they leave, I'm getting straight back into bed. I can't bother to shower. Now we're. Now we're into three or four months of just living. I'd set the alarm for 4 o'. Clock. I put the music on, light a few candles, pretend I've been busy all day, can't be bothered to cook. Tell them, would you just get a takeaway? They're all happy that it's a takeaway. And then I'd say, oh, I've been exhausted, I've been out all day. And I started to put on weight and then my little self esteem steam started to go and everything just started to sort of crash around me. Gosh, you really. And that was Perry, wasn't it? And that was. That's the thing that you. That was. No, no, this was actually menopause. Now, I didn't know because I had the marina coil. So if you have the marine coil, you only spot. And I was only spotting. So my partner said to me, he said, I haven't really noticed that you'd had a period for about six months as well. But I just said, well, I'm on the Marina coil. You know what, we never have a period. So that's another thing. You see that, that, that doesn't. There's no. Because also your body is having progesterone every day as well because the moronic oil produces progesterone. So you're having a bit of this. So that's also sort of, you know, keeping it out. So if you're going to do blood tests and stuff like, this is not going to work. I then went to an AA meeting where I shared openly that I thought I was going fucking mad. Life, I couldn't cope. And it was that, you know, I can't really keep up with life. And I shared. And as I left the meeting, this woman said to me, pull me to one side. And I said, I think you're going through the menopause. And I was like, no, don't be Stupid. It's just for really little, frail, gray haired old ladies like my grandma, not someone like me, okay? I am fit, I am this, I'm that. Okay, I put on a few pounds, but that's just because I've not really been eating because I've, you know, everything in my life had sort of just like gone there. But she said, take my number and give me a call anyway. You know, the penny drops. I thought, I'm gonna call her. And I called her and she said to me, you know this. She sent me a picture of what she was taking and then she said to me, there is an NHS menopause clinic in the Chelsea and Westminster. Your GP has to refer you. So then I thought, right, I'm gonna do this. But then I just thought, right, I'm gonna go to my gynecologist because, you know, I don't want to feel like this anymore. And all of a sudden something just started to happen, you know, and it's just the penny drop. Then I thought, right, so I went to my gynecolog, said, let's do blood tests. I think I'm, I'm, I think I'm going through the menopause or something's happening to me. She sort of looked at me and said, well, Meg, if you had been listening to me about the last six years that you've been coming in to have your smears and checkups and whatever, then I would have told you. But it just seems like that you hadn't really been listening because I've been saying to you, you know, but I just didn't take it on board. But we are in denial to a certain, I mean, I'm of that age and muted, but get it? And I'm definitely suffering with symptoms and I am in denial. I don't want to admit it's happening, which is a huge problem for us, because when we admit it, we start to think we're getting old and then I'm gonna go through the menopause and we're in that denial. But also it's those symptoms that can be the most damaging, that you found that I can't believe the doctors didn't pick up on. They don't. They just thought you were depressed. It's not their fault because the symptoms I go in with are symptoms of depression. Oh, gosh. So the big time for you points of view you're going to be telling them is that you've got anxiety, you've got foggy brain, you've got aching joints, you can't sleep. You've got anxiety. What does that mean? Yeah, yeah. They don't know. It's not the thing. If you'd gone in. I'm having hot flushes. Yeah, I never had a hot glass. See, there you go. So that was. That was the huge problem. Well, it's absolutely fascinating, Maggie and I can see why you're so passionate about the menopause. Now, we're, we're going to go to a few short messages in a few minutes, but if you do want to get in contact about anything to do with this show, we are here for you. It's CarolineMensRadioStation.com CarolineMensRadioStation.com Also, Meg's does have a website. We're going to be talking a lot more about that in a minute, but if you wanted to get that up right now, as you're listening, it's www.megsmenopause.com. correct. Brilliant. Mm. I like it. You've done it very, very well. So in part two, we are going to be talking about perimenop and the symptoms and that is so important. And also how you are really helping. There are 34 symptoms in total. And don't forget, later on in the show we are going to be talking about the minefield that is treatment. What do you do? Do you have treatment or do you just go au natural? And in part four, embracing this new part in your life. We'll see you in a couple of minutes. Welcome to Women's Radio Station. 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Do you want to be a doula? Would you like to support families through pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period? Or do you have qualities of compassion, listening, caring and empowering? At Nurturing Birth, we offer approved doula training courses across the UK which are facilitated by an award winning doula. Here you will learn more about the support you can offer, explore the doula role and think about how to set up your business. No need for previous qualifications. Find out more@nurturingbirth.co.uk. You're listening to women's radio station supporting women's well being. Women's radio station's creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter, Mnsradiostation, that's womensradiostn or Facebook. Women's radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programmes. Welcome back to Mother's Hour with me, Carolyn Van Beers here on Women's Radio Station. Today we are talking about the menopause with my special guest, Meg Matthews. Absolutely fascinating conversation we just had about what you went through. That was a bad, bad time. And it was when you first began to experience all these terrible symptoms that you were actually shocked at the lack of support at and understanding shown to women during this time in your lives and you decided to do something about it. Yeah. You'd got the website up and running and the Instagram and the Facebook. Yeah, because I just. There was nothing out there. I went to look out there. I've also got ADHD and I'm dyslexic. So I don't want to pick up. I'm dyslexic. Hi. Yeah. Let's give to the high five. So I want something colorful, quick, in your face, nice. And that's it. Because, you know, I don't want to read medical books. I didn't want it. I mean, the NHS has a wet. You know, there is a little feature on the website, but it's so not what you're really feeling at that moment. It's not comforting and it's not warm and it's not making you feel like you're in. No. You're in this with other people, which is one of the most important things. We're gonna go. We're gonna just talk about some of these symptoms. Because when you talk about menopause, traditionally we just think hot sweats, night sweat. Sorry, I didn't even know about night sweats. So they go. I. I would say hot flush. Yeah. No, period. That was the two things. That's all I did. I thought of Sex in the City and Samantha. That's all I could actually relate to when it came to menopause. Because that's all that's been out there. That's all that's been out there. No one had ever really mentioned it. I mean, we never had Bet lynch, did we, on Coronation street, having a hot flash with her, you know, behind there. It's not been great. It's never been on a show. It's never been. We've had all these things now. It would be in. Out there if it was. They've had rape, they've had lgbt. They've had. Absolutely. They cover everything on all our. On EastEnders and our soaps, but they've never, ever had the menopause. Got to get you writing on them, you know? Yeah, yeah. Don't forget to email us if this is important to you. I will definitely try and get Meg back on this show to do a live Q and A. Yeah, I'd love to. Carolyn, at womensradiostation.com do get in touch with. Or get in touch with Meg via her website, which is www.megsmenopause.com. get that up right now, if you are listening. So this is staggering. 34 symptoms. 34. And you are 32. I had 32. There you go. Sorry. I'm not laughing at you. No, it's quite mad. Yeah. Because that's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah. And that's the thing. So let's go back to Perimenopause, because the thing is about perimenopause is you don't know you're in it, so you do what's wrong with me? And you are noticing a few little changes, but you don't want to talk about it. Absolutely. What are the first things that people tend to find? What are we looking for? At first. Right. At first, I think most people are a bit irritable, get a bit angrier, get a bit tearful, anxiety levels up and down a little bit, can't sleep at night. My rage is quite bad. Yeah. So your rage. So these are what's happening then. You're also. You're just having your normal period each month. So within that. That time, you either put it down to pms, pmt, whatever you want to call it, but you have these odd days and if you're like me in the early days, now I know about Perry, I definitely was in my. Definitely 1 in 100 women will be perimenopausal in the. From the age of 40 to 45 and one in a thousand in their 30s. So. And there's 13 million women today in the UK going through the menopause and probably only about 90% of those are being helped. And they're all just suffering out there because they just don't really know what's going on. About 10% are being helped. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Which I could say 90%. No, no. But we're working towards that. Yeah, we are working towards that. Yes. Do stay with us on this show. We are really here to support you. Yeah. So you've got the common symptoms, the hot flushes, the night sweats, loss of libido. Loss of libido, which happened to me. Yeah. Which we're going to talk about a little bit about some natural, more natural things that you can actually do yourself to relieve a little bit of that later on. But these are the things that are slightly more common. But the mental symptoms are the ones that I think are. That's the dangerous time because you feel very alone and you feel like you're going slightly crazy with the anxiety. Yeah. With me. So, yeah, it was a very dark place and with the anxiety was so bad, I couldn't even walk to the. The corner shop. I couldn't drive my car. I couldn't really face anybody, so. And that's when you stopped going out. It's when I stopped going out, so. And I know this happens to a lot of people, so I just really felt for people that had to go to work and had to get up on the tube and that's why there is such things as well, ladies, out there is flexible working hours. If you have worked for 26 weeks or more for one company and you go to gov.org uk flexible, you can write to HR and you can ask about flexible hours. If you can't get on that tube and you're boiling hot, you can ask and they have to write back to you within one month. So there's a little tip, ladies, it is out there. I'm gonna put that up on the website, guys. I'll get all the details about that and just look in the materials bar on the WRS website and we'll definitely put that up there for you. Is that on your website as well? No, I don't think it is. I've just, I just talk about it quite a lot. So it's not a mine. So. Yeah, but I just talk about it because I would not have been able to get on a tube and I do a lot, a lot of phone ins and everything on radios and I have women that they've lost their jobs, they've. Because they've taken all their holidays for sick days, but they don't want to tell HR that they're menopause because their line manager is a man. So I do lots of talks in the Foreign Office in the BBC and I talk to men how to approach, they shouldn't approach and need to approach. HR should. Like with mental health or with lgbt, there's usually someone. So in HR there should be someone and their knowledge should just be put out there in the workplace. So if anyone is a line manager or works in HR and listening to this, please start thinking about that in your workplace. I mean, this is so apt because when you're in your 40s, you've almost just got back into full time work. Perhaps you've got a good job now and you don't want to start like, oh, I don't want to seem like I'm losing it. I'm over the hill. Because the stigma attached to menopause is that you're over healed, is that you're old now and are you as savvy and good at your job? Yeah. And if you're in a city like, you know, and you've got a good job and I speak to a lot of women in the city and you know, they don't want to say because even though they, you know, they should be able to say and they should be, you know, like a quiet room, as I always say, should be a place that when you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, you can take five minutes out, which from noise pollution, light pollution, all of this hydrate, because you're just getting back and you may be at top of your game, but you're going to go, you know, lots of women and it's not right, shouldn't be able to turn around and go, oh, I'm, you know, I'm. I'm menopausal. I'm really sorry, but I'm, you know, maybe have, maybe we'll have to have a couple of hours off here. They won't do it because they think they won't get promoted and it's not right. And if you were pregnant, you get supported all the way. If I had a broken leg, you wouldn't make me walk up the stairs. The menopause is, is not a, is not a disability, but it's disabilitating. And I speak at the Forum of Disabilities for the first time last year about the menopause. They have IBS and they have epilepsy and everything, and they're now looking at it and. But it, but at work, it's not a disability, but it is disabilitating. If you are feeling hot or anxious or overwhelmed that day, or you haven't slept, you know, there's nothing worse. And this can go on from anything from two years to 12 years. I mean, I was talking to you just before the show and although we were laughing about it, my body odor has changed. And that when I'm in public, like I'm in a small radio studio with you now, my. It's just my left armpit, but it's just, it's just very, very smelly. Yeah, but I mean, you know, it's really embarrassing and I get. Feel really tense about it, but so I then have to go toilets, in a public toilet and try and clean my armpit. I mean, that's not good, is it? No, it's these things. These are all these things. So I'm feeling of all these women and I think, you know, we have, you know, 40 of these women are still at work as well, so we need to help them and we need to be able to support them because, you know, they're losing their jobs and then they're losing their mortgages, they're losing their house, they're having to move back home. I mean, what, you know, at that age, you know, and I, I've had some really sad people that have, have had committed suicides and left letters because it's the menopause you know, and so it is good to talk. We need to talk. We need to be open. We need to it not to be the silent secret. We're gonna bust this taboo. And that is what I'm gonna be doing. And that is why I'm here. And that is what I want to do. Taking care, I mean we are Women's radio station is about women's well being and mental health. And taking care of your mental health in this day and age is so important. When we are projected with so many images of perfection. Don't feel alone. If you go onto Meg's website, you do great sections on self well being and sometimes just those little things can really, really help. And knowing that lots of other people are going through the same thing does stop you going, I'm going crazy because no you're not. It's just a little phase you're going through and you can seek help and do lots of things for yourself which we're going to talk about in the little bit later on in the show. Physical changes. Well, that's a minefield. I've got 11 written down here. Fatigue, hair loss, sleep problems, dizziness, weight gain. Ugh. Weight gain. Bit of a nightmare. Yeah. Bloating. You must have had all of these if you had 32. I've had them all. I know. I think actually that, that I haven't. I had. I think we worked it out. Didn't have. I think I had 24, by the way. Yeah, 32 sounds good. 32 sounds really good. But I didn't have a electric shock and I didn't get thinning hair. Actually my hair got thicker because I took testosterone. So. Yeah. Which is another part. Which is a part of hrt. So it's another hormone replacement, but some slightly more serious ones that you perhaps wouldn't associate with the menopause. And the perimenopause is brittle nails. Osteoporosis, which is quite serious really. Osteoporosis. Yeah, I did have osteoporosis. So the good news is I had a DEXA scan a year ago. We now know that hrt, basically it's preventive for osteoporosis. So I was in the red and I came out of the red and I am now on in between the yellow and the green, which is amazing because a year ago I was in the red. So also we know, you know, so there is some things. Yeah. And then also we do know that HRT supports one. One in three women will suffer from a stroke or a heart attack. In their menopause. We are overtaking men in the UK today because of the lack of the hormones in our body, because of the lack of oestrogen. Yes. And one in two women will have a collapsed pelvic floor because of the lack of oestrogen. Estrogen is phenomenal. We need estrogen. We need to put it back in the body. Wow. And that's exactly what we're going to be talking about in part three when we talk about treatments. This is revelation. I know. Well, I know. It's just out there. I know. And it only cost the NHS 4 pounds for estradiol estrogen gel, which I'm going to tell you about. Oh, thank you so much for coming to the show. We are so grateful to you. Meg Matthews talking more to Meg in just a couple of minutes about treatments and changing attitudes towards the menopause. Few sort of messages now. Don't forget to email me carolinensradiostation.com welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's wellbeing. 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Do you have qualities of compassion, listening, caring and empowering? At Nurturing Birth we offer approved doula training courses across the UK which are facilitated by an award winning doula. Here you will learn more about the support you can offer, explore the doula role and think about how to set up your business. No need for previous qualifications. Find out more@nurturingbirth.co.uk hi, I'm Carolyn Van Beers. Please join me for a brand new show here on women's radio station. It's Mother's Hour. If, like me, you're a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them, this is definitely the show for you. We'll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together with spoonfuls of advice, incredible stories. It will be a refreshing, honest and funny look at being a mum. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntous.org.uk welcome to the Women's Radio Station Supporting women's well being. Women's Radio Station can give voice to your brand. With a wide range of sponsorship opportunities, including individual programs, we can tailor your experience for you. For more information on how you can sponsor a Show, go to womensradiostation.com Women's radio station supporting women's well being. Welcome back to Mother's Hour with me, Carolyn Van Beers here on Women's Radio Station. We are talking about the menopause. We just reached a little bit of a cliffhanger just then with Meg Matthews, who is an expert on the subject. She's so passionate. She just wants to support all you women out there who are either perimenopausal, menopausal and show you how support you let you understand and manage your menopause effectively so that you don't go through what basically Meg went through, which was a horrendous time. So we just left Meg on treatments. Yeah. So what do we do? Okay, so this is how long is a piece of string? This is for everyone out there. Okay. So basically what I did was when I was setting up Meg's menopause, I know that just to give you some. About two years ago, you set up the website because you were so enraged. Enraged. There was nothing out there and there was no information out there. Also, everything that I do is I do everything on the nhs, ladies, so everybody can do this. I didn't go private, I went through the nhs. So everything I got from my private doctor, I then walked into my gp, I tipped it out onto the table and said, look in your little book next to you. Is all this available on there? She looked up it is and she said, yes. Right, get your pens out, ladies. Right, so what there is out there, okay, now, not everybody, of course, can take this, this whole scare. HRT cancer, of course it came up that bubble, came up above my head. HRT cancer, okay? If there is a thousand women in one room, seven women will get breast cancer. Those seven women will probably be either obese or be drinking too much or smoking or be their lifestyle or they would just be getting it anyway. So that is the statistics. Yeah. So when you take this, I take a thing called estradiol and it's called Easter gel. And when I started telling the whole world about it, I got very worried because I thought, oh my God, what am I going to make the NHS crash? I then found out that it only cost the NHS £4 for this tub, this gel, Easter gel. I do four, four squirts on my inner thigh within four days. You can do between like one squirt or 12 squirts, depending what your doctor will say. I do four within four days. My nights sweat has stopped, my anxiety. Estrogel, Estrogel. So that's is, there's three. Okay, because this is hormones that we're missing. Okay, so HRD just stands for hormone replacement therapy. A gel you rub on your inner thigh. It goes straight into the bloodstream. It's not a synthetic hrt, which is the scary one that everyone used to get scared about, used to take orally. And then it goes in and it goes through your liver and can cause clotting. So people this day take patches or gel. I think the patches are much better than the gel. I mean the gel is much better than the patches. Then in the evening I take it's. And it's derived from the yam, this oestrogen gel. Then in the Evening I take 100 milligrams of a progesterone, a eustrogen progesterone, which is also derived from the yam. And I take that in the evening. That also helps you sleep and calms you down. And then the only thing that's not available from your GP is testosterone. All women need testosterone. We all need all threes of these hormones. We make three times as much testosterone in our 20s as we make estrogen. We do make it, as we know estrogen is made in our ovaries. We also make testosterone in our adrenals and in our ovaries. And it's a very important testosterone. It's the one that gives your libido, your kick, your muscles, the kick back in you, makes you feel a bit like that, wanting to go to the gym. So you need that. Now, your GP can't give that to you because there isn't a woman's version in this country, so. But there is such things as menopause NHS clinics. Now, your GP can refer you to one of these clinics and then you can get your testosterone from these clinics. And how's that taken? And that is a tiny. It's a man. So it's a tub, it's a pump, it's a 1p size or on your arm, just under there a day. Again, it's just absorbed. Absorbed in the skin. So these are. These gels and they are simple and easy and they gave me my life back and that is it. So hormone replacement, then repeat, that's all it is. Now, there is patches out there. The patches just. I mean, I used to lose them. They slipped off. Other people love them. Oily skin, you know, as we know, end up on my dog's tail, you name it. But also these gels. And you just have your shower in the morning, put it on between your legs, your estrogel, take your progesterone tablet before you go to bed and then you put your testosterone in the morning. So how old? Well, not. No, sorry, not how old. When would you start taking, for example, the oestrogel? Do I start taking it now? I'm peri. Yeah, yeah. So you can be taking. If you are not feeling right. What happens is estrogen is just. You take it, you put it. You maybe do one or two pumps, you put it on and then that's like the. The grass growing on your lawn. And then when you take your progesterone tablet, that mows the access away in the evening. It's not complicated. Now, it. If you want to age, like, slower. So this all helps the Eastern house with your collagen. Because it's the collagen that's out. That was my next question. Meg, your hair, your. You know, your muscle, the testosterone is helping your muscles, everything. If you want to age more gracefully and age not. That's why our grandparents and everyone looked a lot frailer than we do. If we look at now, us at the ages of 50 and 53 now, like the age of me and then we put my grandma at 53 or my mum at 53, they all started to. They all looked a lot older. Now you can start taking this from. From when you're Perry, from like the age of 45, from 43, you can be taking this. There's nothing to say that you shouldn't. Unless, obviously You've had breast cancer and of course, if there's brain squares or if it runs in your family, then please, do you check out, because I am not a doctor, don't forget, I'm just telling you about my journey and tell you what is available. You do check with your gp, but gps do not have a lot of knowledge and it's not their fault, it's just that that they have not had the information that they are needed. So knowledge is power. When you go in for that eight minute talk with your doctor, please write down those symptoms. Say, there is a thing called the NICE Guide. The NICE Guide. The NICE Guide, I think that is on my website, megsmenopause.com this will actually tell you. There is a piece on my website which tells you how to navigate around your gp. If you go into your surgery, please ask the reception, is there a menopause specialist GP that knows more than others? If you're not happy with your gp, it's like when we go to the barbers and you're getting your hair cut. Why did I ever not say, when I'm not the barbers, the hairdresser and they're cutting my hair shorter and shorter, I feel powerless. I don't say stop. The same way as you stay with your doctor, if you don't feel comfortable and you're not that happy, please go and say, can I see another gp, please? Can I just say I do actually scream at my hairdresser because I have deep fear of virtual. Yeah. But, you know, I haven't been there, but it's taking me a while to get there. Yeah. Or I'm looking at, it's going blonder and blonder. It's the wrong shade. I'm like, yeah, so, you know, we do this, but you can change with it. So go in with a list. Knowledge is power, women, and you need the power. So go to these websites, write down your symptoms, get, take them in, read about them. You know, you need to navigate through. Just say, what is available? What is hrt? What is available? Say, I know this gel is available and there is not a shortage in the country. All this HRT shortage. I know the gel isn't a shortage in this country and we say you're help saving because the NHS osteoporosis, it is, it will help. It will. Prevention. Prevention is cure. And if you don't, you'll end up having a hip replacement, which will cost the NHS a lot more money. Loads more money now with your headaches and everything and your migraines you start taking the estrogen, they will go. And you won't go in there thinking you've got dementia or that, you know, like me, from depression. And did it help with the weight gain as well? Because the testosterone, it gives you the kick again. So we all put this weight on, it starts to come around the middle and we all start putting this weight in and it makes you feel really down. And that's something that I do suffer with. Ladies out there. I put a few pounds on lately and I'm, you know, myself. I goes. And I just think this stupid thing, which you probably all think. I think, oh, my God, if I was thinner, my menopause would be more successful. Or if I was thinner, this. And it's an old wound and I have to talk about it and I talk out loud. And the other thing, ladies, which is the best cure of all, is please talk to your family. Just be open about it. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It. You know what it says? So much easier than doing what I did. I used to go and buy cystitis medication because I didn't want to have sex with my partner and put it out there, because I'd say, no, I'm really sorry, I've got cystitis, and I'd leave it there. I do little cunning things like this because. And it was so much better than just to say, I'm going through the menopause and my libido is really low, so let's just masturbate together. Which is so much better with Meg's menopause lube. And I have a whole range of great products which are all environmentally. They're all vegan, they're all natural and they're not in plastic containers. And they are beautiful. I mean, your website is incredible because you really do. You do the symptoms, you do the mini videos, which I love. Ladies, what Meg does is she'll talk about maybe put two symptoms together that are quite similar, or just the one, like the osteoporosis one, which really hit me like a LeBlanc. Oh, God, my goodness me. I had no idea about that. When you actually talk about those, it makes us feel comforted. Yeah, it is. And it's warm. And you're really informing us. And from that information, we can make good decisions. Yeah. And we can go to our GP and not just sit there going, I don't know what's happening to me. And, like, you get misdiagnosed pills. Yeah. And also, don't forget every woman around you or Your girlfriend. Some of them are going to lie and some of them are not. But maybe one person wants to talk. So. And I just shared with Anais, with my daughter, I shared with my partner, I shared with the people I work with. It made my life so much easier. And yeah, of course I am more outspoken than a lot of people. But you know what, just say to your friend, you know what, I'm Perry or I'm menopause or, you know, and just start chatting about it and I promise you the minute one of you chats it will just. Just a problem aired is a problem shared. My mum told me that my whole life and it's so true. And we are women and we thrive from talking. Trust me, Absolutely. I can tell I'm loving you. So that is true because I'm very vain and I can see I'm just getting a lot older and I'm not used to looking at myself in the mirror and it gives me a great fear. So by. I love the way you said a great fear because it is. And whoever says it isn't isn't because it's there is a fear. Now fear can really knock you back and make you turn into a bit of a recluse and not want to go to park because of course, because you don't look right. No, no, no. I've done that so many times and life is too short for me to be doing that anymore. Like I've canceled the holidays. I've done, you know, done things like, you know, like saying, oh, I'm not going to go out to this and that because I feel like I'm fat today or I don't feel good, you know, and it's, you know, ladies, we have one life and we have to live it. I'm going to put this information up on the website. It's on the materials bar. It's the drop down bar under mother's hour. Please, please, if this is resonating with you, do listen in. We're back after this. Welcome to women's radio station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on women's radio station. Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on women's radio station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at women's radio Station supporting women's well being and we're talking all things autism women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Lauren Mishkon. I'm a birth doula and mum of three and I'm passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experiences. Please join me for my brand new show from Tummy Mummy here on Women's Radio Station. Every week I'll be here with an expert guest talking about women's reproductive health, everything fertility, pregnancy, birth and baby related, right through to the menopause and beyond. Please join us for an informative and fun hour. My name is Ingrid Marsh and I host the Radical well Being show supporting women's wellbeing. On my show I bring you ordinary women like me and you who are sharing, sharing their unique stories. Women who have refused to be defined by their pains, to be silenced by stigma or crushed by stereotypes and who are taking back their power. And together our mission is a simple one and that's to inspire you to kick away the roadblocks too. To don your wings and be the person that you were born to be. Hi, I'm Hazel Butterfield, a blogger, book lover and mental health advocate and you can listen to my show. Get booked here at Women's Radio station daily at 5am and 5pm throughout my shows we'll talk about the books I've read, new releases, chat to authors, publishers and book enthusiasts, all with a theme and aim of supporting women's emotional well being. If you have a book to tell us about, get in touch@presentersomensradiostation.com join me on my show and share my love of books and writing. Do you want to be a doula? Would you like to support families through pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period? Do you have qualities of compassion, listening, caring and empowering? At Nurturing Birth we offer approved doula training courses across the UK which are facilitated by an award winning doula. Here you will learn more about the support you can offer, explore the doula role and think about how to set up your business. No need for previous qualifications. Find out more at nurturingbirth.co.uk. You're listening to Women's Radio Station supporting Women's well being. Women's Radio Station's creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter @WomensRadio station, that's Womens Radio Stn or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs. Welcome back to Part four of Mother's Hour with me, Carolyn Van Beers and my wonderful guest Meg Matthews. We're talking about the menopause. Meg is absolutely passionate about getting us women, talking about it, supporting you through your journey and what amazing advice you've given us so far. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. So I do have a bit of a sad tale, really, about my Auntie Margaret and it does just show how important the work you're doing is for all of us women, because we're all going to go through it, not just mums, everyone is going to go through. So my Auntie Margaret was my grandma's sister, so she would have been going through her menopause in the 70s and my mum would drop me off at her house and I remember her being this amazing, gregarious, beautiful woman, you know, very Marilyn Monroe, very glamorous. And then over a period of time, I'd say, mum, Auntie Margaret was a bit strange today. She said, mmm, mmm, yes. Anyway, basically what happened was over a period of 10 years, this wonderful, amazing woman became a recluse. She would never get dressed. She was always in one of those old fashioned white nighties that went all the way down to the floor. She never brushed her hair and she never had it cut. So by the time, well, 10 years later, her hair was down to her knees and the big clumps and I would just go around them, all we would do is bake and she would just be throwing flour everywhere. But what had happened was she hadn't. She went through the menopause, didn't know what was happening. Her mental health severely deteriorated. Had she not had her husband, wonderful man called Cyril, stand by her, who knows what would have happened and whether she would have taken her own life. She was in a dreadful place. Her anxiety, you know, becoming a recluse, she thought she'd gone mad. And then she did go mad because she stayed inside and didn't know what was going on. And it was, we know this because it was, it was November time and it's 10 years to the day almost that she just said, cyril, take me to the hairdresser's. She went to hairdressers, had a haircut, had a hairdo. And she was like, back to Angie Margaret. Yeah. And she lost 10 years of her life because no one in those days talked about it. There was no Internet, there was no information. It was completely taboo, wasn't it? Absolutely. And I mean, that's really a bit of like my story, except, you know, I lost three or four months, but I definitely lost a couple of years because, I mean, I went to one holiday, I went to LA with Aeneas and we went on this family Holiday for three weeks. We rented this lovely little house in Venice beach and I couldn't leave, I couldn't leave the house, I couldn't go to Joshua Tree. I just stayed. I couldn't face. The sun was too bright, everything was way too much. And I just ended up staying in the, in the house, in the air conditioned bedroom, watching shitty American TV while they were doing all this wonderful stuff. I would try and pull myself out in the evening to go for this, for dinners in the evening. But even that was, was way too much. It was just awful. Out of it. Anais got this beautiful dog, Ziggy, which now belongs to me because it was like a guilt purchase because I felt so bad that I hadn't actually done anything on the holiday except lie around in the room not doing anything. And of course I didn't know what it was back then. You were pupilized by your mind. I didn't, no, I just. This is the girl that absolutely everyone knows loves the sun. I couldn't even lie on the beach. I, you know, I just stayed for three weeks in this, this Airbnb. You know, I'd get to the coffee place and come back and be like, oh, I can't, I can't, it's awful. And that was like, you know, the family holiday. So, you know, and I understand, and getting on a plane and everything that I used to do, just like that, packing, getting the passports, everything. There's like this fear of living life that sort of comes up with the menopause. You know, just everyday things become really hard to do and yeah, it's fear of life generally. And I think we have to really change perception, particularly like you said earlier in the workplace, in society, about the menopause, you know, okay, so 50 years ago, when you were 50, you were a bit over the hill. But we're not like, we don't look like that. Yeah. A good 30 or 40 years, according to your wonderful breeder Birmingham from your side. She's become proactive and look after our health in our 50s is vital. The old narrative surrounding invisibility, redundancy and being over the hill have to go. And that is so, so true. Yeah. And you know, in a way, I would say, Meg Matthews, you are making us keep our superwoman capes on. We've done amazingly in our lives, maybe multitasking, bringing up children, having a career, doing all these wonderful things and then all of a sudden we reach 50, go, oh, God. Oh, gosh, we're over the hill. Which is what society's put on us. And we're not, we can't have a great life. And you're, you are. But if you're feeling menopausal and you are not, you know, you're, you're not doing anything or you're not putting back or you're not doing it in the natural way or, you know, you're not doing hrt, you are going to feel shitty, ladies. So you need to do it, you need to put those hormones back. If you want to keep great collagen and keep great hair, then keep taking this HRT because it will help you prolong your life, prolong your skin, prolong your looks and health and just your general life in general. But talking about it is so important and sharing it with your partner, with your children, you know, they might roll their eyes, just let them make a joke and roll their eyes, you know. And also, Megan, this is particularly in my case, you know, I had children very late, particularly my triplets who are 8 and I'm 52. You look fantastic, by the way. She looks fantastic. I don't know what she's saying. She just stood up and she looks absolutely. Got a great figure. If none of you have seen her, she looks fantastic. But I've got eight year old children and I'm this old. And as my mum's pointed out, you know, I went through the menopause, you'd left, that you'd left home, you know, I didn't have a family, I didn't have all this stuff to do. So a lot of us are older mums now and we need all those treatments to make us feel normal, to be part of family life, to have the energy to, you know, we can. I can't just sit around and watch a Christmas movie, although I'd quite like to, it's hilarious. But no, that is very important. But we have talked about this, but there's a lot on your website about what you can do for yourself and these are great. Please go onto Meg's website. It's incredible. So you have a whole section on self, which is changing your mindset, isn't it? Which is really important towards your family, towards your new life and changing, embracing it. Yeah, because I just really feel, I've never felt more empowered. Even though I just sort of said I feel a bit like this today, but we will have flat days and that. But I, I feel that. But you're managing it now. Yeah, yeah. But I actually felt for the first time in my life that I, I was just like, I wasn't really worried. I just sort of felt very empowered and I. Maybe it's because I have a real purpose. Purpose in life with makes menopause. But at the same time is all of a sudden I was just a bit like all the things in my 20s and 30s, you know, the FOMO and they're not fitting in and the wearing the right thing and being part of and everything. Everything just like, oh God, I really don't give a damn about that anymore. Really don't. And if I don't like something, I will say it now. I have a voice now and I will express it and say it. And I have very good boundaries. And that's what I'm trying to tell you ladies. Embrace it and take it and enjoy it and you know, and realize how brilliant you are. Yeah. Because you're brilliant. You've made it to this and you woman. Yeah. And you know what you've done, the kids and you know what, you know, your life is not over. Like me. I thought I did say the other day that I might try my pilot's license. So you know, just one of those little airplanes because I could just, you know, just drive up the M40 and go and do that. And I have sort of said to a couple of people I might do that because I'm not the best driver. But I just thought, you know what, that was something that would really take me out of my comfort zone to just get my pilot license. It's not BMW. I'm not a Boeing, you know, just a little airplane. But you know, do something, just try it. Anything. And also if, if you know, even, you know, even just going for a great walk, guys, you know, you know, if you, you know, just. Just do something for yourself, you know, at the weekend, look after your well being. Yeah. Yep. And that's the. Another section that you have. So the other section is well being, taking care of yourself. And you know, especially if you are a mum. We have been staff for quite some time. Absolutely. Yes. Like the kit. Well, look, you have to catch. So now it is time just to take some time for yourself. Even if it is to go for lunch with a girlfriend. Yes. And have a wonderful chat about all this stuff. Yeah. And then just go for a massage or something. Lovely. Because I hear even ladies making it. She said, oh, I'm just going for. I'm just gonna go for a massage or I'm gonna have a facial. And they're trying to. They make excuses why just I deserve. You deserve a facial. You deserve a massage. You deserve to have lunch, you know, because, you know, that's what women or, you know, what we do with our partners, with our husbands, with our families, you know, you can and you do deserve it. And, you know, just. And even just if you decide you want to have a really long bath, you know, with some Epsom salts, you know, treat yourself, buy some nice oil. I didn't. All these little things just help. Yeah, they really do. And talk to family and friends. That's so, so important because a lot of your friends will be going through this at the same time. Meg, I can't believe it. We're so fast approaching the end of the show. This is ridiculous. No, I don't want it to end. I know. Ladies, if you have enjoyed today's show, but maybe you have some questions or, you know, you would like to talk to Meg, Email me right this second, CarolineMenersRadiostation.com and I will make sure I get Meg back in the studio for a live show and then we can talk some more because we are running out of time. Can I just give some details about you because you're not just. You are a real spokesperson for Meg's menopause. Are you doing any more of your live conferences? Yeah, we've got a conference. I think it's on the 19th of May. Everyone, I think you can go on Eventbrite or go on megsmenopause.com, so we have a conference there. It's an amazing day. I have the experts of all experts come along. It's just, just such good fun. And you will be able to, in that one day, you will get as much knowledge that you will ever need. I think that's essential for all women. Yeah, absolutely. And my next thing, and the quick. The other thing is there will be things, such things as called Megs and menopause meetings, which I'm going to start running like Weight Watchers all around the country. You can take them in your local town hall, your local library. You ladies can get together and do support groups. Oh, that's brilliant. That's exactly what we need. Don't forget to check out the website today if you can. It's www.menopause.com. and don't forget to buy, treat yourself to one of those lovely creams like the hyaluronic acid. Yes. Or get the lube. Yeah, the lube. The lube. Or the mennoblend. Oh, we did talk about the. So the CBD oil. Yes, yes. I have a range called the CBD Oil. The M Blend and it's great for anxiety. I put down the antidepressants, I took the emblend CBD oil available on my website and it helps you sleep. Amazing. Thank you very much. Meg, Matthew. Thank you. See you again soon. Take care. Welcome to the Women's Radio Station Supporting women's well being Women's Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education and most importantly, women's well being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website womensradiostation.com for more information. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don't know where to start. At empowerandenrich.org, you will find find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me@empowerandenrich.org and let's change your future together. Do you want to be a doula? Would you like to support families through pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period? Do you have qualities of compassion, listening, caring and empowering? At Nurturing Birth we offer approved doula training courses across the UK which are facilitated by an award winning doula. Here you will learn more about the support you can offer, explore the doula role and think about how to set up your business. No need for previous qualifications. Find out more@nurturingbirth.co.uk hi, I'm Carolyn Van Beers. Please join me for a brand new show here on women's radio station. It's Mother's Hour. 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