Get Booked – Sarah Adams, The Life Edit

Hello, I'm Hazel, and this is Get Booked for Women's Radio Station, supporting women's emotional well-being. I hope you're all well and ready to get booked today. Joining us in the studio remotely is Sarah Adams, the author of The Life Edit: How to Get Clarity, Take Back Control, and Create a Fabulous Midlife Using Daily Journaling. Sarah, hello, thank you for joining us. Hi Hazel, thank you so much for having me, it's lovely to be here, even if it is remotely, it's still lovely. It's great, isn't it? We're doing our best to keep the shows going and it's interesting because it's, one of the main things I love about this show is chatting to people face to face and getting the rapport from people's responses and everything and it's just, it's still incredible that, you know, we managed to do this via Skype and chat about your fantastic book. Thank you so much. I've done quite a few of this, these type of interviews, and at first I was a bit reluctant because, like you, I love seeing people face to face because you can't beat it really. But actually, as time has gone on, it's worked out really well, and I think it's fantastic that we can keep on, you know, talking about these things and making sure people are aware of them. And I think listeners in general are loving it, and there, there are lots of people I've spoken to have said they're learning a lot of new things by listening, even, you know, even though the person isn't in the studio, it doesn't matter, the content is still there. So I think it's great that we can do this. Yeah, and also what I found incredible is that I have a lot more people trying to interact. So many more people are actually listening to radio as well during lockdown because they have more time to do so and be able to utilise their time doing things that they haven't before had the time to do. It's, it's interesting and quite uplifting. It's fantastic. I mean, obviously we all know radio is the best medium, right? Of course it is. It's the best way to— of course it is, of course it is. And you're right, lots more people are tuning in to different things. And actually, lots of my friends and, and, and people I'm coaching at the moment have said to me they've, you know, caught something on a different radio station that they've never really heard of before, but they've discovered it during lockdown. And I think that's incredible. Completely. And actually, what's quite interesting is, because a lot of my friends know that I read a lot and I do this book show, and people are having the time to read books, and saying to me, "What are you reading at the moment?" And I told a friend about "The Life Edit" just as I finished it, and she went straight onto Amazon, and she's like, "That's exactly what I need right now, especially with the anxiety that I'm going through, and I need to kind of unjumble what's going on in my head." I went, "Oh, I'll lend you the book." She goes, "Too late, I've ordered it." coming tomorrow. Oh, that makes me feel really warm inside. That's so lovely to hear when people, when people sort of embrace it and go and order the book and get stuck into their journaling. It's lovely, it's great to hear. So thank you, that's brilliant. Well, thank you actually, because I mean, we'll talk about in depth about what The Life Edit is about, but there was, there was a section— I mean, actually, before I jump into that, why don't you explain to our listeners what The Life Edit is? Okay. Well, the Life Edit is, um, it's an 8-step, uh, personal development process. And the 2 words, the Life Edit, each one of those letters stands for a different part of the process. And the process is all based on writing and journaling. And the reason that I wrote the book and created the Life Edit coaching program for, for women, and it was created really for women, who are perhaps in the middle of their lives or in the middle of a life event and are looking for, you know, an answer or a way forward or a bit of clarity, perhaps a new way of doing things. The reason I created this programme, Hazel, is because actually I'm a journalist and I have been for a really long time, like 30 years. Oh, that makes me sound very old. And I've always used writing, not just in my profession, but also I've used it to help me get out of really sticky situations. So if I found myself concerned or anxious about something or, or really blocked, then I've used writing to give me some clarity. So as time rolled on, I ended up actually tutoring people and teaching people journalism, and it became quite clear that through the act of writing, yes, they were learning lots of things, but the soft outcome was they were actually feeling really empowered You know, they weren't just learning about what it's like to be a journalist, they were actually learning about how important and valuable writing can be and how it can be, you know, quite therapeutic and cathartic and really help you overcome different problems and challenges. So that's where the book came from, that's how the whole thing began really, and it's sort of, if you, if you go through it, it walks you through the whole 8 steps of the life edit one step at a time, and it's all grounded and rooted in the incredible transformational power that even though writing is so simple, that that writing can have for you if you want to make changes in your life. Do you know what? I mean, one of the things that I've always said to my friends, even before I knew about your book, is when they're overwhelmed and they just can't get to grips with what's going on in their brain, I've always said, put it down on paper. It unjumbles it completely. It helps you gain clarity of what's going on. And sometimes when we go going over phrases or incidents that's happened. If we write it down, we know we won't forget it because it's documented. And then we don't go over and over what's going on or something we wish we'd said, because we don't need to remind ourselves what would have been the best method because it's there in black and white or whatever color you choose to write it down in. And it's, it's so cathartic. It really is, and you're so right. And what I discovered quite early on was if you write with a pen and a piece of paper rather than thrashing about on a keyboard or a touchscreen, the impact is even greater. Because although we really need technology— I mean, goodness, especially at the moment, we've so needed technology to keep in touch and communicate and do our jobs, and I wouldn't be without it, obviously. But if you're trying to unjumble things, you know, unravel stuff and get some clarity, you, you will find that if you use a pen and a piece of paper, that creates far more intent because you're tapping into a different part of your sort of cognitive functions, if you like, and you're setting clear intentions because even though we don't think about it when we write, our brain is working quite hard to process what we're doing, you know, working on how we form the letters. The order that those letters create a word and all of that. When you're mindlessly bashing on a keyboard, which we all have to do, you know, that's life, that's not the same. It's not going to set the same intent. And you're absolutely right what you say. Once you've written down your worries, written down your concerns, your anxieties, and your challenges, they're there. That's it. It's done, you know, and it's gone from your mind. It's gone from your heart. And then you can start finding a way forward. And, and I'm so glad that you recommend writing and journaling to your friends because it really It's such a simple thing, but it can have such an incredible impact. And interestingly, I mean, there's parts— there's so many kind of pages that I've turned over in this book that I'm hoping that we can get through as many of these points as possible. But what you've just said, I mean, it's exemplified on page 54 about how it ignites receptors. And there's a paragraph here about children who don't learn the skill of handwriting maybe missing out on an important important developmental process. Writing with one hand uses more complex brain power than using two hands to type letters on a keyboard. So it is more productive, and it is— it's a learning process that we all need to utilize. Otherwise, you know, there's so much— especially with homeschooling at the moment, kids are expected to actually submit their work on tech, which means they're not handwriting as much. And it's something that we need to kind of remember. I mean, it's occasionally my children are writing their work and then taking a picture and sending it, but especially for the children in secondary schools, it is all done online and it's the only way that they can particularly do it at the moment during homeschooling. Yeah, I think you make a really good point, and I do worry that we have got a generation of children and young people who actually, you know, they don't like handwriting because they've never had to really do it. And obviously at the moment, thank goodness we can homeschool and use tech in that way, but I think there's still a really clear and strong argument for everybody picking up a pen and a notebook or a piece of paper, even if it's just 2 or 3 times a week, even if it's just to write a birthday card or a postcard to somebody or a letter, rather than just relying entirely on technology, because it just doesn't have the same impact at all. It doesn't mean as much, you know, people who say there, only 4% I think it is, it's a tiny percentage of people, I'm sure it's only 4% of us actually bother to write down what we want to do with our lives. 4%, that's nothing. You know. Wow. I know, isn't that an incredible statistic? But those of us who do it, Hazel, do really well. You know, we write down our goals and we, and we repeat those goals and we embellish them and we build on them and we use writing to deal with any kind of challenges and blocks that come along. And it isn't a fast process, it's not meant to be. It's meant to give you time. It's supposed to be organic in nature and very holistic, and it's supposed to give you the opportunity to pause your life, even if it's just for a few minutes every day, and write down how you're feeling, you know, what your worries are, what you'd really love to do next, how you think you might do it. And you're right, I think, you know, young people and children especially, they need to pick up those pens as much as they need to open their laptops, I think. Interestingly, actually, is that when I was going through this process, I did pretty much 90% of the time use pen and paper, because first of all, if I'm on my iPad, I see a notification on eBay, Facebook, Instagram, and it's all very well saying turn your notifications off, but you know, if we have to do that, then it kind of dissuades us away from actually doing the actual creative exercise anyway. And it's likewise when people have said to me, you know, can you review my book, can I give you a PDF? I'm like, I prefer the real book because it means I can actually engross myself in it. I can actually go somewhere, not take my iPad with me, not keep on looking at my phone. And it's, it's, it's, I mean, I appreciate how incredible it is to be able to use Audible and to use Kindle because it does have a place, but It's very hard and very easy to be distracted, even with WhatsApp, with the kids sending a message, or this or that. Yes, my kids send messages even just to get lunch going or whatnot, but— I know, same, I get the texts, "Is lunch ready yet?" Yes. But realistically, who really disables their notifications? I don't. I forget to do that. No. You know, and they're always there, and there's always a distraction, and there's always an excuse, and there's always a reason. And I think, you know, when people buy my book, or if I give a copy of a book to somebody, I actively encouraged them. I want them to write in the margins. I want people to make notes in that book as they go through it and have their notebook by their side at the same time. And it's a different kind of activity. It's a different part of your brain that's using its processor in a different kind of way. And it's just, it's just a break. Like you say, you know, we, I love technology and we need it to do our jobs. I wouldn't be without it, but not for everything and not all the time. And at the beginning of lockdown, I did a challenge with a lot of the people who are in my Facebook groups and who I'm coaching online at the moment. And it was called Turn Off the Tech for 10 Minutes. So all I wanted people to do was to stop the news feeds, stop being, you know, in front of a screen and instead turn everything off, find a peaceful space and spend 10 minutes a day writing in their journal and, you know, writing about whatever it was that was important to them at that point on that day. And as the process has gone on, so many people have joined my Turn Off the Tech for 10 Minutes project, and it's had really profound effects. Now, these are people who perhaps have never done this before, who were a bit skeptical, who were a bit reluctant. I have lots of reluctant writers who I work with who don't want to do writing by hand because they've had bad experiences in the past. Perhaps they've been told that their writing isn't good enough and they don't have the confidence to do it. But actually, a lot of these people who've come on board with the Turn Off the Tech challenge have done it, and they've carried on doing it throughout lockdown, and they're now at the point where they're doing their lockdown life edit. So they're making plans now for what's going to happen next, and that all started with 10 minutes of writing a day in that first week of lockdown. So it is incredible if you can carve out a small amount of time and just get that pen on the paper. It's incredible that you have— how transformational that can be. So interestingly, I've really struggled during lockdown with writing. I mean, I'm a blogger, I have various different radio shows where I need to do a certain element of writing for those. I'm writing my own book, and I was like, brilliant, lockdown, I'm going to be able to write all these blogs that I wanted to. And I have not been able to write an absolute thing. My— when I tried to write carry on writing with my book, it literally just kind of spiraled the anxieties, you know, out of control and I could not do it. And then when I was reading the live edit and you just said, you know, just set small goals of, you know, 5 or 10 minutes. And from the first day that I started the book, I set a reminder for, it wasn't 21 days, I committed to it for a whole month where it flashes up on my iPad again, using tech where I have to write for 5 minutes every single day because anybody has 5 minutes. 10 minutes sometimes is too much. 15 minutes is sometimes too much, but it doesn't— and in the first 5 minutes, my little alarm went off saying, you've done 5 minutes. I carried on writing. Within 10 minutes, I'd written a 600-word blog and it was published the next day. I've carried on since. I've written 4 book reviews that are about to be published in the next day or so. And I've carried on writing with my book because it was small steps, it wasn't pressure, and the empowerment and how good I felt that it wasn't sitting there for half an hour, which can sometimes be too much of a strain on your psyche while in lockdown. And the 5 minutes are working incredibly. I am loving it. Like, I'll even walk into a park with the dog with a piece of A4 paper where it's just a scrap piece of paper with a pen, and I come home once I've filled that piece of paper. That's brilliant. You see, now that's incredible. You know, 5 minutes is fine, Hazel. I mean, the 10 minutes thing, it doesn't have to be 10 minutes, and it doesn't even have to be every single day. But the fact that you've set a reminder, you've got that mental trigger so that you know you're expecting it now, and it's become part of your daily routine. And I think the key, isn't it, if we want to try anything new, It's, it's the doing the first 2 or 3 days is the hardest, and then once you get into a rhythm and a routine with it, and then when you start to see the results of it and you realize it is working, and you know, you are feeling differently about things, and you are finding better coping strategies, and you are ultimately making progress, which is what it's all about, then you're far more likely to keep on going. And I think what you've done is fantastic. It's just a brilliant, brilliant way to use writing to kind of get back on track in a very manageable way. So you you don't feel overwhelmed by it. Because as soon as we get overwhelmed, that's when we give up. That's when we stop. Oh, completely. And do you know what? As soon as my alarm goes off on my phone saying you've done your 5 minutes, it's often that I just carry on going. I did similar actually with exercise because I wasn't one of these that went off with Joe Wicks going, "Yes, this is incredible." I was like, I would rather just stay in my pajamas and possibly think about a shower next week. And I started doing, I found this incredible person on YouTube who does 3 to 4 minute exercises. She's called Mad Fit, and she does it to songs that are in the charts. And you do 3 and a half minutes and go, oh, that was good. And then you'll do the next one. Before you know it, you've done 3 or 4 of them. But it's the fact that you were only expected to do one, and then the choice is yours. And it's all about having the choice, isn't it? It's all about having the choice. And it's also— because I've done the same. I did Joe Wicks for one day, then couldn't walk the next day. So it's definitely not for me. So I do a similar thing. I do a thing called Body Groove where you just dance for 4 or 5 minutes. And like you, the same thing happened. I was like, oh, I'm really loving this. This is incredible. I'll carry on. And I think that's the key. It's doing something that you really love, that you really enjoy. It doesn't feel like a chore, you know, it doesn't feel really like hard work. And then when you start to see the results of your effort, you know, whether you're a little bit bendier or a little bit clearer in your mind or whatever it might be, then you're going to be really empowered then to keep on going and keep that motivation rolling. And then who knows, you know, what could happen next. And like I said, a lot of the people who I started working with in week 1 of lockdown who really adopted, and some of them were very reluctant, I have to say, because not everybody believes me when I say how impactful handwriting can be. But they gave it, fair play to them, they tried it out and, you know, A lot of them have carried on with it, and they are now, they're looking at new job opportunities. They're looking at, you know, detoxing their, their whole lives in some cases, relationships, health and fitness, money, the whole shebang, everything, you know. And that all started with that small commitment that was perfectly manageable, fitted in with the rest of their life. It wasn't over and above, and it's worked really well. And I think sometimes when you When I explain to people what The Life Edit is about and how I feel journaling and writing is, is really therapeutic and really useful, I think people imagine that they have to be writing pages and pages and pages every day. No, that's not the case. In fact, I discourage that. And I say, and I say it through the book, you know, as you mentioned, break it right down, strip it back one thing at a time, get that bit sorted, then move on, deal with the next bit, and so on and so on. And it's the same with starting a journaling routine. A tiny bit a day is better than not doing anything at all. It has to be, right? Oh, completely. And do you know what? One of the things, it's the way that you've actually positioned how people do the different stages of the Life Edit. And one thing that just, it just really ignited so much in my brain and so much of what I need to do in my life is page 58 when you say it's all about decluttering. So Clutter slows us down and stops us making progress. It takes many forms, both physical and emotional. To move forward and create the life we would really love, we need to spend some time clearing and curating our lives. Daily journaling is the number one way to examine your life and challenge any self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back. Isn't it time you create a space for exciting change to happen? And it is! You use journaling to do clutter what's going on in your brain. Yeah, it's amazing. I mean, you know, we all— life up until coronavirus, and for many, many, many people through coronavirus, their, their minds have been full of anxiety and worry and stress. And, you know, it hasn't been— I've been really fortunate. I work from home already. I live in a beautiful place. It's been fine. And myself and my family, we're all healthy. And fit people generally. So it's been good. I know lots and lots of people who've really suffered through this. However, we are starting to come out the other end now, and it is the time to take stock. And you know, whatever situation you find yourself in at this point, there will be positive changes that you can make moving forward. And the cluttering thing throughout lockdown has been huge. So many people have been doing the physical stuff, clearing out their cupboards and decorating and sorting out their gardens and all those those hateful jobs that have been on the list on the fridge forever, you know, we've now been tackling them, haven't we? We've been embracing the fact we've got time and we've been tackling them. And that, for many people, that's a real trigger and it can be a very powerful catalyst for change because obviously we hold on to stuff, physical stuff, for good reason, we think. You know, it's comforting, it helps us feel secure, and it helps us feel comfortable, but actually it doesn't help us when we try to move forward because we're still hanging on to all that stuff. So any decluttering, whether it's physical or emotional or spiritual or, you know, to do with your health, whatever it is, financial, you know, decluttering is really important as well. And I think, you know, that's why it's a big part of The Life Edit is the clearing process. And that's why the first letter L is all about letting go. And it's about letting go of all the stuff that's stopping you moving forward. And sometimes for many people I work with and who read the book, that is the hardest part of the process? Well, do you know what? It does weigh you down, and there's been a lot of optimism and positivity around the decluttering, both in— well, in so many different senses of the word. And the more that people have been able to tick things off their list or declutter or not be weighed down by 83 billion things on their list, they have felt lighter, which meant that they felt more more optimistic to do exercise and to get things done. And it's— positivity breeds positivity. The more we get done, the more we're incentivised to carry on getting more done. And it does link to exercise and wellbeing and feeling better within ourselves. If you think about the amount of people that have done so much more exercise during lockdown, and yet they've still combined that with clearing out their houses, and how busy have the tips been? I know, I know, madness, I know, but brilliant, isn't it? You know, I think, you know, people— I know a lot of people I know have had a few wobbly days, and I certainly have, you know. Me too. You know, I'm a very positive person, but my life is not a Disney film, and I am not permanently positive. You know, things happen. The real advantage I have is I know how to mitigate that and get over it quickly by using writing and journaling and going through my process myself, which I use all the time anyway. But you're actually Absolutely right. And, you know, writing every day and doing a life edit now, as we're coming out of lockdown, kind of, and things are starting to ease off, now is the time. Because everybody's had time to, like you say, try new things and embrace new ways of living and think about what they want their lives to be like on the other side. Because lots of, lots of people are saying the stuff that mattered to them before this are not really things that are important to them now. So what better opportunity than to now say, okay, well, I've managed for 3 months without a Costa or whatever, you know, it might be, and I've managed for 3 months without my regular takeout coffee, and now I don't really miss that. So I'm going to, I don't know, save that money and do something really purposeful with it, or, you know, whatever it may be. So if you can get to the point where you've got clarity around what's important to you, what really matters to you the most, and what's going to make you happy moving forward, that's a brilliant way and a brilliant sort of place to begin your life edit. Now, it's interesting that you talk about positivity, but I want to look at the concept that you write about on page 125 of fake positivity. Oh yes, now I get asked all the time about this. I bet you do. I get a lot of grief on social media and other places about this because people have got this idea that they think— I'm a very optimistic person, and I am, and I believe very much like you say that positivity breeds positivity, and it will— you will attract positive stuff into your life if you are genuine and authentic in your positive approach. So with that in mind, when I run— I run workshops a lot with, with groups of people, not at the moment obviously, but usually I run lots of workshops, and people will say, oh, but come on, you know, I can't be 'You can't be positive all the time. This is just rubbish. This is, you know, this is crazy. It's all fake. You're just faking it.' So I have to explain to them that I have difficult times and challenging times in my life. And anyone who's read the book will know I've had— it hasn't been a breeze. There's been all sorts of things that have happened to me, like as everybody else, you know, we've all had our challenges in life. But what I have is an absolutely crystal clear, bulletproof method of getting out of those particularly difficult situations. So I think if you've got a technique and you've got a strategy that you can tap into that's tried and tested, I mean, not only by me now, you know, thousands, a thousand plus people have gone through this process with me and how, I don't know how, I don't know how many people have bought the book. So, Lots of other people have done it as well, I expect. They've all got it now, so they know if things are tricky, if they're having a wobble, if things aren't working out as they thought and they're getting a little bit stuck, all they've got to do is go back to the beginning and start the Life Edit process again. And I think it's having that process. And so when people accuse me of fake positivity, I do end up having to say, look, here's a book, please read it. It's not fake. It's that I know a way of making myself feel better quite quickly, and I find it astonishing. If I'm having a difficult day, I can just— even making a list, something as simple as making a list of the stuff I feel I'm really grateful for, and stuff I'd like to do next, stuff I need to clear out of the way, that can only— you do that in 5 minutes, but actually that will set you up for the day and potentially for the week. If you've got that clarity at the beginning of the week with a simple clear list, it's such a simple thing to do. So yeah, I get a lot of grief about it, but I believe that if you use whatever strategy you find, obviously for me it's writing, that's my thing. If you've got that in your life toolkit, then you can pull that out whenever things get difficult and you've got a reliable method of solving most problems that come your way. There is something for everybody where if people can identify what empowers them or what puts a smile back on their face, it is the most powerful tool. Whether it's writing, seeing a comedy show, yeah, ridiculous American sitcom. If you can identify what uplifts you, it is the best tool you can ever have. It really is. I mean, you know, for my husband, for example, it's getting out and going for a walk. He says that walking is the midwife of all great ideas, and I love that, and I think that's so true. And, you know, I agree with that. Yeah, do you know what? My kids went to their dad's for the weekend, and I'd had an interesting week, and I actually knew that what I needed— I had a lot of friends saying, "The weather's fantastic, come and have a social distancing social distancing picnic here, there, and wherever. And I just went out for a 4-hour walk with my dog and it was perfect. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, I think as we've had this time to discover new things and learn new things, I think lots of people are going to be perhaps turning to walking or baking or art or reading for pleasure rather than just reading stuff we have to for work. You know, that's another thing. And I'd like to see that writing becomes part of that wellbeing package, that people use it as part of their wellbeing. Not, not so they feel they have to write thousands of words a week, of course not, but just to use it to punctuate their day and help them solve a particular issue or challenge that they've got hanging around. Because it's so simple and it's quite quick to do initially, and you can make a big change to how you're feeling in that particular moment. Like I said, just by doing a simple list or drawing a diagram or doodling or writing a little poem or, you know, whatever it might— planning a recipe for supper. It doesn't matter what you write and it doesn't matter how you write it. It can be scruffy, it can be bullet, it can be, you know, the grammar, the spelling, the punctuation. For this, it doesn't matter. And I think that's one of the things that has held people back. They've had bad experiences. People have told them their writing is no good, and so they've stopped doing it. And I think that is a tragedy. So they're relying on computers, they're relying on spellchecker, which, as we all know, never works properly anyway. And I think that that's part of the problem. We rely heavily on technology because we don't have the confidence to pick up a pen and write by hand anymore. And people think it's slow and clunky and outdated and outmoded, but actually, if you use it properly and you do it regularly, you get into a rhythm with it. You will soon learn to love it and see the benefits of it. But you don't have to write for other people. It can just be for yourself. So even if you don't like the way that you write or you think it's scruffy, as long as you can read it, as long as you understand it and you get something from it, it doesn't have to be for anybody else. That's exactly it. So when I work with people, whether it's one-to-one or whether it's group coaching or currently online, I give everybody a journal. I send them a journal, a nice hardback notebook. Book and a pen. And I say to them, this is yours forever, and I never want to see it, and you don't show it to anybody else unless you want to. This is your private journal. It's your thoughts. It's you. It's part of your life now, part of your well-being and your self-care program, and you keep it for you. So it doesn't matter how neat your handwriting is. And I think the part of the— part of our problem has been lately, recently, is we're after perfection And I'd much rather see progress than perfection. You know, I'd much rather people just started scribbling away in however, you know, whatever way they wanted to, rather than worried about how neat their handwriting is or whether they've spelt something right or whether they've used a semicolon correctly or whatever it may be. Obviously, when I'm a journalist, that's really important. But when I'm life coaching and helping people with their personal development through the Life Edit program, I really don't care how they write. It really doesn't matter. Just get something down on paper. Make some marks that are gonna help you move forward. That's the important thing. You see, I'm one of these people that, I mean, I write lists all the time, but I also, I find it hard to sleep if I haven't written down my to-do list because otherwise it's going around in my head and I'm worried that I'm gonna forget it, and then I'll be annoyed and my head will be going, "Oh, what was that thing you need to do?" And I write a I write a to-do list at least, you know, a few times a week. And last Monday I wrote a list and it had about 10, 15 things on it. And some of it was to do with work. Some of it was to do with writing, getting in touch with people. A lot of it was to do with sorting out certain finances because I'm moving house at the moment. And I wrote this list and by 10:30 AM on the Monday, I'd already completed it. And I was the most insufferable, jolly person for the rest of that Monday that even my kids were like, "Oh, Mum, give it a rest." I was like, "Let's go walking! Mummy's got a free day, she's done everything!" Oh my God, you had to-do list smugness syndrome. Yes, I think I have that. They were just like, "Oh, fine, what's happened, Mum?" I was just like, "I've got everything done, guys." I'm a hero, I've done everything and I'm now going to rest for the rest of the day. It's great, isn't it? And I guarantee, I mean, like you, I have to write things down before I go to bed and then I write things again when I get up in the morning because I like the fact that it punctuates my day or bookends my day, if you like. So, you know, and you are a winner there because you've done your list and it's cleared it from your mind, but it's given you that clarity to know that you've got a plan for the next day. And that's— yeah, completely. That's the beginning of a very positive trajectory for most people. If you can kick your day off with a clear idea of what you're going to do and why and how you're going to get it done, then you will do it. You will achieve things. And it goes back to what I said earlier about writing. You know, if you've got life goals that you want to work towards, it doesn't matter what they are, and they can be tiny and quite immediate. Or they can be quite ambitious and big goals that are perhaps in the distance a bit at the moment. You know, write that stuff down, and you will then, by the very nature of the fact that you've done that, you are starting your roadmap for change. And as you say on page 130, the well-known scientific fact that like attracts like— if you want to explain that in a bit more detail, the whole, the RAF Yes, which is the portal. Yes, okay, so the reticular activating system in our brains are amazing, aren't they? They're just incredible. They can convince you of anything. Like, I can convince myself of almost anything. And the point is, with the reticular activating system, it's sort of like a filter. So if you are trying to work towards a new goal, so say for example you really want a career change, and you've gone through the process of, of unravelling that and you've decided what you want to do and the kind of career you really are interested in. If you start writing down regularly what the kind of job you want, where you want to do it, why you want to do it, you know, the kind of tasks that you want to do, maybe you want to get some more qualifications, you know, if you start really working on that on a regular basis and writing down in great detail how you visualise your your new career that is going to be, and you paint that picture in your mind, then I guarantee that your reticular activating system will kick in and it will start to filter out anything from, from the world that you do not need, and it will point you in the direction of things that you really do need to do, and things and resources and people who are going to help you get to where you want to be. And that's why when you— when we set our goals using the Life Edit Method, it's important to start being very specific about what you want, because the world and the universe, as we know, moves in very mysterious ways, and it will always respond when we put things out there. But if you're not specific about the kind of job you want, or the career that you want, or whatever it is, then you will get— the universe will help you and you will get lots of opportunities, but they won't be what you want. So then you will get impatient and disenchanted, and you might start to give up. But in fact, all that's happening is you're not being specific enough. And that's where the like attracts like really comes into play. So it's a bit like, um, you want to buy a yellow Mini you think about that yellow Mini, you go out, you see lots of yellow Minis. And it's pure science, and that's how it works. And I've got a great story, if I, if I may tell you this quick story about a fantastic man I was working with, actually, Raj, who had been in prison, who had come out of prison, because I work a lot with, with the offenders who are rehabilitating. So my part of my role is to try and give them confidence and self-esteem and skills to move forward. And we do that using the Life Edit Process. So Raj said to me, I need a job. This is the sort of job I want to get. I've tried, I've tried being positive and it doesn't work. He was very dismissive. So I said, okay, well, let's think about the kind of job you really want. So we rattled off a few things like it has to be near to where I live. I have to be able to walk there. I'm still on the curfew, so I can only work between these hours and so on and so on. So I said, okay, right. So, um, so what, what is the job? He says, well, I want to be a graphic designer. I said, okay, okay, that's fine. I said, so this week, spend some time, you know, looking and seeing what's out there. Be clear with what you want, be clear with your intentions, write it all down like a wish list for your life, and then come back to me. So he came back to me the following week. He said, this is a load of rubbish. So I said, okay, thanks. Why is it a load of rubbish? She said, well, because I'm not getting— all I'm getting are jobs in warehouses. I'm not getting anything about graphic design. I said, okay, so what have you been asking for? You know, what have you been focusing on? He said, well, I said to you, I need a job as close to where I live, I need a job that's between these hours, and so and so. I said, right, so what— you haven't mentioned graphic design, have you? When you've been writing down your plans and, and trying to move forward and look for opportunities and wait for them to come, He said, oh, I've had several interviews, but none of them are to do with graphic design. So I said, right, go away again, come back in a week, focus on graphic design. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he's now doing very, very well as a graphic designer. And this is because he realized he had to start being specific about what he wanted. If you're too broad in your goal setting, it will not work in your favor. Yes, you'll get the opportunity, but they won't really be the ones you want. You see, this— I like the science behind this because you do hear quite often, especially if you're a fan of yoga, these kind of yogic affirmations and manifestations that you're supposed to repeat to kind of draw into your world, which I think are great. This is the science behind it. It isn't just, you know, doing a pose and going, I want this to happen. No, and that's what I love. Yeah, no, there's a lot to it. I mean, I, as a journalist, I look for reasons for things, obviously. So the science behind this is really interesting to me, and the mechanics of how our brains work and how we attract opportunities. And it does work. I know it works because I've done it myself for different things. And it doesn't happen overnight. You know, you can't just sit cross-legged and stare at the moon and wish you have I mean, all those things are lovely, and if you want to indulge in naked moon gazing or whatever, then be my guest, that's fantastic. But to be, to be sure that you're working towards the right thing for the right reasons and you're going to get the result you want, you have to start being specific about those things really early on in the process. Now, obviously, when you start doing some personal development work, especially if you've never done any before, you start off often with one or two ideas, and then as you go through the progress, the process, and you start to feel more confident and your self-esteem is improved and you get a little bit more clarity and a bit more vision, then things will change. And that is fine as long as you remain focused on what it is you really want to do and you don't get distracted. And that's why the Life Edit is so good as a process, because it is rooted in science. It is a process that you follow, and if you go through it properly, um, it will work. I mean, you may have to do it a couple of times before you reach your goal, depending on what it is you want to achieve, you know, but you can start making small incremental changes really quite quickly. Now, and I just want to quickly reiterate that the story I just told was about a man that was doing your Life Edit programme, and I know that we— this is women's radio station, you just say that, you know, this is a fantastic book for women who want to make changes in their mood and get clarity, but there is nothing in this book whatsoever that is just specific to women. It is for everyone, isn't it? It really is for everyone. I mean, the reason I wrote it for women was because lots of my clients are women, and they've— they seem to have— sorry guys, but they seem to have embraced it a little bit more than some of the men I've worked with. But saying that, During lockdown, I've been speaking to all sorts of people about it, men and women of all types, in all situations, of all age groups. And actually, they're all finding it beneficial because the great thing about it is you can pull out, like with most self-help books, you pull out the bits that are relevant to you and you use them when you want to use them. So yes, it's for everyone. It's just that, you know, it was written with women in mind because I'm a woman and I'm 52. And, you know, I needed, I needed a to do an edit a few years ago of my own life, and that's sort of how the book was born really. So yeah, but anyone can dip into this and use it. It really— if you're in a life situation, so whether you are in the middle of your life from an age perspective, or if you're in the middle of a life event, you know, maybe you feel now is the time I'm at a fork in the road, which way do I go? Then this is the book to read, and it's a quick read. And you can see results really quickly. And like you say, it doesn't matter whether it's, you know, whether you're a man or a woman, it doesn't matter, it can still be beneficial to you. And it's very comprehensive, it is, as you say, it's very easy to read, and mine is completely dog-eared at the moment. It has got certain pages that has, I've got Post-it notes, I've got you name it, little bits all over the place. On page 143, there are things that you put on there to promote Intentional Positivity, and I want to list— and there's about 10 of them, but I want to list them all because they're all things that you can do to put yourself in a positive mindset, and you need a positive mindset to make effective change anyway. But, you know, how I've done regular reminders, so you put set regular reminders for your goals on your phone, which is what I've done. Change your passwords and ringtones to something happy and positive. Brilliant, I love that. Put a picture of whatever your goal is in your wallet, your handbag, or anything Take home a stone or a shell from a walk to remind you of happy days. Seriously, I'm moving at the moment, I've got a box full of shells and stones from all over the place. They're so important, aren't they? Each one holds that little memory, that's what it's about. Yeah! Pick some flowers for your room. I buy myself flowers all the time. Call a friend just to say hi. Don't save anything for best. Now this applies to clothes, shoes, food, things that you bought in some sort of craft market, all the nice kind of stationery that you have, or if you have some makeup or some beautiful products that somebody bought you for your birthday, use them all now! Do you know what? Half of these things go out a date, and that is so annoying. So annoying. I really agree. I have a big thing about put your best knickers on. Just wear them. You know, what are you waiting for really? Just wear them, put them on, prance around in them, have a lovely day in them. You know, it makes you feel so much better, doesn't it? It does, but sometimes you best knickers out the most comfortable ones. Well, it depends. I mean, I'm not intimate with your underwear drawer, but you know, it just depends. I'm sure you have a knicker for every purpose. And what I do like to do throughout my Get Booked shows with all the authors that I have on and all the guests is to ask you for 3 tips on wellbeing for anybody. I mean, it could be to do with anything, but if someone said to you, give me your 3 best tips that are going to make me feel better with who I am or my life or how to proceed with my life, what would they be? Okay, they would be definitely start writing. Buy yourself a beautiful notebook and start writing and just write and don't worry about it. Just let it flow. My second tip would be garden. Plant a plant, plant a seed. It is my happy place, you know, apart from my writing shed in the garden, which— and it really is in the garden, the garden's grown up around it. The gardening is so important. And talk to your friends. Really important. Talk to your friends because now more than ever we need to know if our people in our worlds are okay. And I think we've kind of got a responsibility to them to do that. And it will make you feel better. Even if your friend's having a difficult day, you will bring light and love into that day for that person. And it will affect your well-being as well. I think it's important to remember when we do things that help other people, it helps us as well. Altruism is just, you know, it's still positive. Definitely. I think it's a really good thing to do. And it's not about saying, "Oh, aren't I marvelous? I phoned my friend and she was having a terrible day and I've really cheered her up no end." It's not about that at all. It's about it being mutually beneficial. And I think, you know, I've got really good friends, and a lot of us are self-employed, running our own businesses. It's been really, really tough. And without my little group, the last few weeks would have been really difficult, and we've kept each other going. And I think having those quick conversations, you know, is so important. So yeah, those would be my top 3 things. A friend of mine pretty much combined all of those where she picked up some sunflower seeds and some compost and some plant pots, and there's a group on WhatsApp called Bad Mums for no reason other than the fact that we originally— it was arranged to go and see the movie Bad Mums, and then we realised that we all just like to talk about how early we can start drinking in lockdown. We all know what it means. And what she did is she actually sent round 2 or 3 little pots to all of us with some seeds, sunflower seeds. We've all been growing our own sunflowers and it's making the garden pretty. But on our WhatsApp group, we're kind of comparing who has the biggest flower, but it's pretty. It's a reason for us all to get chatting. And it was kind of— it was, you know what, it probably cost her about a fiver to kit out about 6 of us, and it's the thought, and it was brilliant. I love it, that's such a brilliant idea. Impressive. Yeah, it's worked so well, and I'm getting to the point now where, I mean, mine's gone so incredibly high. Actually, while we're having this chat at the moment, I've sent my kids out because I can't rely on them not to start using the Wi-Fi or to suddenly go, "Mum, I'm starving!" So I've sent them out to go and find some twigs to support my sunflower that's gone beyond the late It is supportive stick. Wow, that's brilliant. And you see, isn't that just the loveliest thing? And that just— I love that idea that from that tiny seed, you know, something really beautiful is going to happen that's not only fantastic to look at, but also you're going to be feeding the birds with those sunflowers as well at some point. So, you know, everyone's going to benefit from them. And it was a tiny thing that you did. And it's the same with writing. You write that first sentence and you just don't know where it's going to lead you., or what's going to develop from it, and it's so exciting. So I love that. Yeah, and it's just, it's just little, little ideas and actually being able to share something with somebody else. And what I want to do is, is chat to you a little bit about your website and how people can find out a bit more about the book The Life Edit, but also the program that you run on? Okay, well, my website is at sarahadams.me.uk, and on there you will find blog posts and also lots of information about the book and about how you can buy the book. You can order it directly from me if you want to, and I will sign a copy for you, or you can order it from other— from online retailers as well. Um, and the program is an online program at the moment, unfortunately. Uh, before lockdown, I was running it in places all over the— all over the place, place for lots of different people. But at the moment it has to be online and via either Zoom or phone or even email. It depends what you want and what you're comfortable with. I run it in a really flexible way, so the program stays the same, but it depends on how, how much help people want, how much time they've got. So if anybody— and I always do a free discovery call, about 20 minutes. People can call me up and we can have a good old natter for 20 minutes, find out where you are in your and sometimes I send them away with a couple of tips and I never hear from them again, and they go off and they get sorted and it's fine. But more often than not, they come back to me, they order a copy of the book, and then we start a 21-day program— a process together. And that's brilliant. Yeah, and it's good. 21 days is a good amount of time, you see, and it's not too overwhelming for people. They could, you know, if I say something like, it's just 3 weeks, So it'll be perhaps 6 sessions, a couple of sessions a week over 3 weeks, job done. See how you are at the end of it. And then, you know, if they're still not quite there, we might do a bit more, or I might just suggest to them, well, you know, you know what you've got to do now. So you just go back to the beginning of the Life Edit process and work your way through it again. And you know, the results are good. Well, I'm definitely benefiting from the results, and I know there's quite a few friends of mine, the one that's already gone off and bought the book anyway, but a lot of people have been looking forward to me having this interview with you so they could actually hear what you had to say. But there's some other, I mean, as I said, I've earmarked so many parts in this book and there's this one part I really want to make sure that we reiterate and it's in your final edit and it's about when you're trying to work on your 'New Positive Mindset' and taking back control of what is going on around you. There are a good 5 points here that I think everybody needs to remember, that whatever's going on in your life, sometimes it's not always about you. You need to press your internal pause button and take a breath and see the whole picture. Write down what is happening and how it's making you feel. Write down what you would ultimately like to happen. Use this to help you reframe Reframe the situation, return to a positive mindset. I love the whole reframing concept, by the way, Sarah. Oh, thank you. Write down 3 things that are going really well that you are grateful for right now. You don't always— sometimes you need to talk, you need to air the negative, but sometimes you just need to focus on the positive, just to rejig that positive mindset. You really do, and going back to your previous comments about fake positivity, this is a really, really important point. Because wherever you are in your life, you will have something positive that you can focus on. Now, it might— to other— to another person, your positive focus, the thing that you're feeling positive about, to someone else might be very insignificant, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all because this is about you and what's going on in your life that's good and what you appreciate in your life. I've worked a lot with women who are coming off drugs and alcohol. I worked in a residential rehabilitation unit for a couple of years, and without exception, when I said to them— so, you know, these are people who are very unwell, very poorly, and had been through very traumatic situations, often involving domestic abuse as well. So they are true survivors. Um, and you would think that the reaction you would get from saying to somebody in that position, tell me, you know, what's positive it could— you wouldn't know what they would say. They all said, well, we're alive and we're here and we're being looked after in this amazing unit and we're going to get better. Now, you know, other people I've worked with, homeless people, women who've been on the streets, and they've said to me, I'm grateful because I've now got a fridge and it's actually got food in it, or, you know, I'm safe, or whatever. So your version of things to be grateful for will never be the same as somebody else's, and that that doesn't matter. It's having the focus and the opportunity to say to yourself, right, okay, things are not going really well in that part of my life, but thank goodness for this and this and this. And it's very important. It keeps you grounded and it will help you to move forward. It doesn't mean all of a sudden through some sort of magic that the things that are challenging you are going away, but it shifts your focus So therefore it helps you realize that actually, okay, things aren't quite as bad as I thought, and I have got this inner strength that I can now use to help me push forward. So that's why that's so important. It's about retraining the brain and reframing your situations and use positive words. I mean, there's so many things that can have happened to us where you can just go, that was horrible, that did this to me, that did that. Or you can say, "Actually, because this happened, I met this person. Because this happened, you know, I got to learn this about myself." You can reframe, and the tools that you gather to be able to reframe a situation are absolutely invaluable. I agree, and I really— one of my sort of dreams and my goals is to try and encourage secondary schools especially to use this process with their young people, to help young people realize that they don't have to be the same as everybody else, and that actually, you know, things happen for a reason, and it's not always bad. Because I think that's sometimes something that's very hard for people to get over. And I think if we could just embed this in the national curriculum in some way, then we would have a generation of young people who would be growing up feeling a lot more confident, a lot more self-assured, and less likely to compare themselves with other people and then, you know, suffer the consequences of that, which we know can be, you know, catastrophic in some cases. But I think when we're in the middle of a crisis, it's actually really hard sometimes to focus on the positive. And you're right, we have to retrain our brain so that we can reframe our situations. So we— it's not about ignoring difficult stuff, it's not about brushing it under the carpet and being in denial, Well, far from it. It's about shifting our energy levels to something positive that will then have a knock-on effect of helping us better, you know, cope far better with the challenges that we have in our lives. Yes, it is. It's about learning the tools to equip ourselves to cope and get by and to get the most out of our lives. And what I'm saying— do you know what, I cannot believe we've got a couple of minutes minutes left and it's absolutely raced through. I thoroughly enjoyed chatting to you. And what I just want to quickly find out before, before the end of today's Get Booked show is, are there any books from other people that you absolutely love that you'd recommend? Oh yes. So the big one is Live Life, Love Life by Sue Stone, who is— Sue Stone is a brilliant, brilliant woman. She is known quite often as Positive Sue. And she's an incredible lady. And a long time ago— and I won't go through the whole story now— but basically I was commissioned to review one of her books, Love Life, Live Life. And I picked it up as a rather skeptical journalist and thought, hmm, a self-help book, well, this isn't going to be very interesting, this isn't going to be very enthralling, you know. And actually It changed my life, and the reason that I wrote that, my book, is because of Sue's book. She totally inspired me. That book turned my life around. I read it cover to cover twice, and then I made plans to make changes in my life, which at the time my life was very difficult. So that's the one book I would recommend. I'm just having a look at it here. You know, it, it's interesting, isn't it? Because 10, 15 years ago, we wouldn't even want to be seen in the self-help aisle of Waterstones, would we? I had no time for it, Hazel. I thought it was nonsense. Honestly, I really did. I was so dismissive of it. But actually, you know, Sue's a brilliant woman, and actually I found myself in a very similar situation to Sue, so there were lots of parallels. And I was at a very low ebb, and her book saved me. And she wrote a lovely acknowledgement for me for the book, book. So yeah, it's a good recommendation. Oh, really? Is that who was on? Oh yeah, of course, right on the front. If you're ready for a new chapter in your life, one of positive change, growth, and fulfillment, then look no further. Wow. We thank you so much. I've already got this up on my Amazon link. I'm having a look at it now. Well, thank you so much. We've come to the end of today's show. Please make sure all of you listeners out there there, go and get Sarah Adams' book The Live Edit and go and check out her website. All the bits and pieces are up on my Twitter and I'll be putting up a book review soon on hazelbutterfield.com. And thank you so much for joining me. It's been a pleasure, it's been so lovely to chat. Thank you for having me. You are very welcome and hopefully when the next book comes out, which I'm sure it will, you can join me in the studio when we reopen our studio. Thank you so much. Look forward to it. Thank you, Hazel. Thank you.