Hello, this is Anna Kennedy, and we’re talking All Things Autism, and as you know, I’m the founder of Anna Kennedy Online, and we’ve been doing All Things Autism now, I think it’s probably about five or six years. I’ve spoken to so many wonderful people, and I have a lovely guest, which I will chat to in a little bit. So just some up-to-date news for you.

So we have, as a charity, a new young patron. She’s our youngest patron of the autumn charity, Anna Kennedy Online, so if you want to check it out, just to remind you, it’s www.annakennedyonline.com. So it’s the lovely Isla McManus, she’s 11 years old. She was on Autism’s Got Talent, which happened, as you know, in October.

She was absolutely amazing. She is a pocket rocket. Just read you a little bit about Isla.

So Isla is 11 years old, she’s from Belfast, and the rendition of Dance Monkey went viral during the pandemic, and has been appointed as a patron of our charity, Young Patron. She became an overnight sensation in 2021, when her version of the hit single attracts more than one million views on social media, when she was only eight years old. The young star performed the tones, and I track at Pride in Belfast, last autism, Isla, while the audience after taking part in Autism’s Got Talent, and her actual performance, I think has got something like nearly two million now on TikTok.

I don’t go on TikTok much myself, but I do sort of, you know, visit it now and again. We are proud that she’s part of our Anna Kennedy online team. If you want to check out more of my ambassadors, charity champions or patrons, again, all the information is on the charity website.

So as the founder and as the head of our what we call the AKO family, I’d like to say congratulations, Isla, and we are excited to be working with you. She started working with us on one project last year when we were doing the anti-bullying campaign. So she sent out her message.

Her brother’s also diagnosed on the autism spectrum. She’s always busy making videos for Facebook, singing. Her page, if you want to follow her, is Isla Loves to Sing, spelled I-S-L-A.

And she’s always busking, singing here, there and everywhere. She’s definitely a little pocket rocket, and I can see her becoming very famous because of her powerful little voice. Just to remind you that in the office, we still have a few books left from one of my charity champions, Dawn Avery, who’s written a book about her son, another one of our ambassadors, and also a radio presenter on Gateway Radio.

So it’s called From a Tier to Here, Autism Family Journey. So Dawn started writing the book before the pandemic. And then because of all that, obviously, the time that she had not going into work, she actually wrote the whole book, she finished it off.

So it’s a book that was written originally as a form of therapy. She was struggling as Aston was growing up, and she found herself lost in her poetry as well. She always writes poems, decided to note down my feelings, and this, the book evolved.

Our family had a journey many now experience back then. So autism was not so understood, and I often felt alone, as many parents share with me and confused at the differences we had faced. Decided to piece the book together, and I hoped it would give an understanding.

So there’s more information there on the back. But if you’re interested, it’s called From a Tier to Here, it’s Dawn’s Journey and her family, Aston, with Aston and her husband, Keith and Aaron. And we’re selling them in the charity office.

So if you’re interested, have a look on our little shop. And you can see lots of bits and bobs on there that you might like to purchase to help the charity. I’m just reading about so many charities at the minute that are either closing down because they haven’t got the buns to keep going.

Another one in Scotland last week saw a really heart rendering one of a mum and a son that had set up a shop. They were making candles, and they’ve had to close, and the son was actually sharing with everybody that was closing in the tears. He could see how much this project meant to him and the other adults that worked with him.

But so sad, they’ve had to close. But this is the world that we’re living in at the minute. So if you can help small businesses, please do, because I feel that there’s a lot of passion that goes into these businesses.

And obviously, they’re a lifeline to many families. So my guest today is Moon Sade. She’s an extraordinary autism success mentor whose transformative journey began as an autism parenting coach guiding overwhelmed parents through the intricacies of raising children on the autism spectrum.

However, Moon’s story has evolved and her focus has honed in on a crucial age group, 17 to 25 years old, young autistic adults, as she passionately champions their journey into adulthood. I’m not going to steal your thunder. Welcome, Moon.

And thank you for joining me today. Hi, Emma. Thank you so much for having me on your show today.

I really appreciate it. Oh, thank you. So before we talk about autism and before we talk about anything, just for people listening in, who is Moon? Where are you living at the minute, Moon? Are you living in London, I believe? I am in London, yes.

I’m in West London. It’s been a long journey getting around. I’ve traveled quite a lot around the country.

So we’ve actually lived in, I think I counted out, 18 homes in the last 12 years. Well, it sounds like my dad. When I was younger, my dad kept moving house all the time.

And in the end, I remember my mum saying, right, that’s enough more. I may be mistaken. I remember counting it up a while ago, but I don’t have the exact number now, but we have moved a lot over the last few years.

So, yeah. Oh, wow. You think you settled now? You think you settled? I think there may still be one or two moves left in the house.

Don’t you get frustrated though? Because this is what you used to frustrate. My mum used to get the house just the way she wanted it. You know, the wallpaper, the paint, whatever it is that she’s doing, the furniture.

And then it’s just like, come on, we’re moving. It’s just like, no. I think we get to a point where we settle down and then there’s the expectation subconsciously that there’s still something else.

So, yeah, I think there’s still a couple of moves left in us before we settle down and wait for the grandchildren to come. An ideal place that you’d like to just stay and relax and this is where you’re going to be now. Is there somewhere specific or is it just you’re searching still? I don’t have a specific name of a place.

I just know that it’s got to have a view of the ocean and it’s got to be near the mountains. So, I can agree. You don’t want much then? No, not much.

So, tell me a little bit about your journey. So, tell me a little bit about Moon with reference to why you started working within the autism world. My journey started about 24 years ago.

I have two children and they’re both diagnosed on the spectrum. And I suppose in old money terms, they would both be considered high-functioning autistic. But my oldest will be 26 in a few weeks’ time and our journey started with him when he was about two years old.

And, you know, we noticed the differences that you start noticing in your child. But just like the author that you were talking about all those years ago, autism wasn’t something that was well known. And when we talked about differences in him, we were just looked at like we were really strange because it wasn’t major things.

And he’s really very good at masking and he’s very good at blending. So, a lot of people thought we were just making things up. You know, he didn’t do this or he didn’t do that or he liked to do things in a certain way.

Do you think it’s more difficult when you’re your first child? And can I ask, had you heard of autism before? After your son had been diagnosed? My first child was only diagnosed when he was 16. Right, okay. So, our journey was really very hard with him.

And no, we hadn’t heard autism before him. And yes, when it’s your first child, it’s very very much more difficult because you have no point of reference. And because it’s your first child, people tend to look at you as a new parent who doesn’t know much about what you’re doing.

And then you suddenly come along and you say, my child is not doing this as he should. And most people go, yeah, it’s your first baby. Don’t worry about it, they’ll settle down.

And they never do. And you keep on thinking, no, this is not right. And I know this is not right.

And they keep on saying, nobody’s your first child. I’ve had three and they’ve all been different and they’ve all done both. And it was really, people were really condescending.

Right, so how was it for school for him then, so if he wasn’t diagnosed until he was 16, he’s struggling. Yes, he was. School was horrendous.

He’s extremely bright, very very bright. And when he did, he sat and things like that. He was in the top level for English and science, but his math wasn’t up there.

And when I would raise that with teachers and say, there’s something that needs to be done here. Obviously, there’s something missing. They would say to me, no, it’s just because he’s not very focused and he’s very distracted and he needs better discipline.

And I’m a qualified high school teacher, secondary school teacher. And I would say to them, I know that that’s not the case. But they would just say, no, he’s very bright.

There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s doing perfectly well everywhere else. It’s just these few things.

You would think they would listen to you because you’re a teacher. It’s not as if you come in from a non-informed background. You would have thought they would have listened to you.

They didn’t, not throughout all of his primary school years. And he had a horrendous time. He was bullied.

He was picked on. There were times when he would do something in school. And at the end of the day, because I was teaching my husband would be the one to go and take him to school and pick him up.

At the end of the day, the other parents would kind of gang up on my husband and say, he did this today or he did that today. And what are you going to do about it? How helpful not. Definitely.

So once he got to 16, obviously that was exam time. How did he call? Well, the diagnosis period started when he was 13. So when he went to secondary school, then they started listening and they got an ed psych in to evaluate him.

So he then had an ed psych report and that started the whole process of referral and diagnosis. So by the time he got to GCSE, he had a diagnosis. He was able to get support and extra time and all of that.

The problem that we found is that by then he had already learned coping mechanisms and he’d learned how to blend and he’d learned how to mimic and to fit in. And suddenly this diagnosis came along and said, this is what you need and this is how your brain works. And he just rejected all of that.

I’ve heard that before. That must have been frustrating for you as well. Very frustrating for me but more so very difficult for him because he suddenly was in this world of two people where he wanted to be like everybody else and he’d worked so hard to make himself like everybody else.

And then there was this diagnosis that said, but you’re not like everybody else. Your brain works differently and you need to work with your brain so that you can get the best that you need. And he was very conflicted.

So that was really challenging. So what happened then for Sixteen then at the school that he was at? Was he able to stay there for longer or did he have to move on to college, transition to college? No, he stayed through his GCSEs and then did his A-levels all through. So yeah, that was good.

He had really good support to do all of that. But the support that you get in school, what we found with him was 90% of what he needed was coming from home. The organization, the plan, the advance warning.

Every day, this is what’s going to happen today. This is what might happen if this doesn’t happen the way that it’s supposed to. This is what you can do.

And he would be on the phone regularly throughout the day with this happened or this isn’t what happened. And it would be giving him strategies and coping mechanisms and helping him to get through what was going on through the day. So of reassurance as well, I suppose.

Yes, lots of reassurance. I was just going to see you then. I think we chatted previously that your son went on to university and how was that process for him? Because I’ve had quite a few families that have contacted me saying that their sons have moved on to university and they’re a little bit anxious and what should they be doing? How should they be preparing their loved one? We learnt a lot about the processes.

So before he even went to university, we applied for disabled students allowance that helped us with getting him assessed beforehand. So when you apply for disabled students allowance, they need to go for an assessment. And that assessment was really thorough about what his needs are, what his abilities are, what his capabilities are.

And that report was sent to us to DSA and to his university so that they were able to put in some support structure for him at university with the student welfare department. And they gave him particular software on his laptop that helped him to record lectures, that helped him to organise his studies. He had extra time in the library, he had extra time for his exams.

His lecturers were notified because he had all of these things in place. So it’s all about what you do beforehand, knowing what you can do, knowing what’s available and then doing that before you apply for everything. So when you apply for finance, apply for disabled students allowance and get all of that in place and get in touch with student welfare at the university straight away.

Go and meet with them. I went with him. It doesn’t matter how old they are, they stole your child.

And I went with him for every one of his meetings and sat through them, told them what his needs were. Okay. So do you think that the work that you’re doing now has been influenced by what you went through with your son? Yeah, I have two of them.

So my younger is very different and he’s 12. And both of them have definitely influenced what I do now, which is autism success mental. Because I know the difficulties and the challenges that they face as teenagers and youngsters with accessing their own strengths and their own abilities and overcoming the challenges that they have with the way they see everybody else.

Okay. So what is an autism success mentor for people listening? So the way that I see is I am driven to help them to succeed in the way that is best for them rather than the way they think they should succeed. We live in a society where now individuality is becoming something that is prized.

But in school and in universities and colleges it’s still very much you’ve got to do things in a certain way to be successful. And what I noticed with my own children is that when they did things in the way that they were told to do it, they failed. So as an autism success mentor it’s helping them to understand what their strengths and abilities are, what their challenges are and how to work with their strengths and abilities, how to overcome their challenges and then the practicalities of actually these are the things that you need to do to overcome your challenges, to be successful, to get the A’s and the B’s that you are more than capable of because your brain is an amazing intelligent thing that can get you what you need.

And then helping them to transition from secondary school into further education and even from further education into workplace. The statistic that only 20% of autistic adults are in employment is one that really, really gets me very, very worked up. So what I want to do with my work is to make that statistic something else is to change it over time.

And that’s what the A’s with this is to help them to transition successfully from teenage childhood years into adulthood professionally and personally in a way that they thrive in success and they love the best life that they can. So some of the challenges that you’ve listed that we’ve chatted about is that the challenges are obviously for the individual themselves, the families. There’s also the mindset, limiting beliefs, fear of judgment and the opinion of others than worrying about the future.

So let’s break it down then. So the challenges. So can you list some of the challenges with reference to the individual? Obviously it depends on where they are.

Number one is on the autism spectrum. And then number two is what their circumstances are. So I know it’s a very big question, but if you could just break it down at the best of your ability of some of the challenges that the individuals may have and who should they go to to help them overcome the challenges or navigate their way a little bit better if you like.

Okay, I’ll pick on the one that I see most often with the people that I work with. The challenge is what they want to do, what people tell them they should do, and what they are actually able to do in a practical sense. The three of those things don’t necessarily always go together.

And that can be really, really challenging for the individual themselves because like everybody else, they have aspirations. They want to do something particular in life. It’s not always practical.

No, all realistic sometimes. Yeah, sometimes it’s not realistic or practical for them and when families say to them that you can’t do this or it’s not practical for you to do this, or you’re not going to be able to do that, there’s a huge wall that is suddenly created and there’s a lot of conflict that happens in the family, in the home. And there’s confidence as well? Yeah, definitely.

There is, I was just going to say there’s this, you don’t believe in me or you don’t support me that comes up. And it’s less about that because they don’t necessarily see that their families love them and don’t want them to be disappointed and don’t want them to fail, which is even more often up to their confidence. And then there’s often in the schools where they’re told you need to do this or you should do this because these are what your cap scores say or these are what your exam results say.

And that is not necessarily a true reflection of what their abilities are because school results and school exams don’t show what they’re truly capable of. So that’s another challenge that I work with very often with people is actually overcoming the misconceptions that they come with both in their own aspirations, their realities and practicalities and what other people are saying to them. And that’s a big jumble that they carry around in their head and it’s just unraveling all of that and seeing what the best way forward is and how we can achieve that way forward in a way that helps them to succeed.

Do you find sometimes they can be quite stuck in their ways as if this is what I do no matter what you do? Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. Sometimes when that happens I find that it’s easier to give them a safe way to try and say okay fine go ahead and do this in a way that I know that it will show them that what they want to do isn’t what’s best for them but not in a way that is harmful or that will really knock their confidence but just enough for them to see I might need to go back and rethink this.

So yeah that’s the way that I’ve learned with my own children and with the teenagers and the adults that I work with that it’s better sometimes because sometimes no matter how much you tell them something it is not going to register for them until they can actually experience it for themselves and understand that it didn’t work the way I wanted it to work and now I’ve got to rethink it. Okay, obviously they worry about their futures all the time as well as do their families. Yes.

What do you do to help them to move forward if you like if they again they might be stuck and sometimes anxiety can really hold back our adults? It can do, yes very much. So worry about the future is a very big thing and lots of families worry that they will have to look after their autistic child well into adulthood because the child is not going to be able to be successful in a job or in a career or in a profession and when they come to me it is about actually starting at the basics which is again strengths and abilities and then challenges and seeing how those can translate into workable skills skills that can be taken into the workplace and how they can be applied then in a workplace in a job in a placement and while my business is still fledgling my aim and my vision is to partner with businesses in the future where as I mentor people they can actually go into workplaces and businesses with the skills that I help them to develop so that they have somewhere to go. If people are listening in what kind of businesses are you looking to hopefully partner with in the future? At this moment in time I’m looking to partner with any business that is sympathetic and understanding of the challenges that autistic adults and young people face so that when there is a mistake or when there is a misunderstanding it’s dealt with in a way that is understanding and sympathetic you know helps my mentees to see how to get better at what they need to do rather than makes them feel like failures or that they’ve done something wrong.

I think a lot of companies as well you know obviously it’s getting better now with more awareness and more acceptance but I think a lot of companies are worried about maybe taking an individual on the spectrum you know how much is it going to cost the company you know how is it going to impact on their other staff you know what changes need to be put in place so again for businesses that might be listening in how can you be there for you. Once I work with them it’s not a case of I put a mentee in and that’s it. I am there all of the time to make sure that the transition works smoothly and that I’m there to support both the mentee and the business so that the transition and the movement forward happens smoothly and there isn’t there isn’t exactly those problems that you’ve outlined.

And the cost of the business doesn’t isn’t a factor in in the sense that it isn’t costing more than having another employee it’s just the cost of employing the mentee because they are capable it’s making sure that you give them the jobs that they are capable of doing and not asking them to do things that they’re not capable of doing. Can you give an example of somebody that you may have worked without divulging personal information just so it feels like it’s tangible and people really are trying to get what it is that you’re trying to achieve. Yeah, sure.

I can give you an example of a mentee that wants to work in construction which wasn’t very practical in the sense that they wanted to actually work on a construction site but had great sensitivity to noise so we had to work around what could be practical for them to still work in a construction industry but not actually work on a construction site and we worked together to be able to place them within a construction company so they were able to obviously I didn’t work with the company but they were able to apply for a job work within the application process and get a job within the planning department of the construction company so that they’re still part of a construction process but not actually on the site and they do now visits to construction sites once every three months so that really helps and that works for them but it was the planning and the actual being able to use their skills with maths and detail to put things together that they really wanted rather than actually being on the construction site so being in the planning department worked really well for them to be able to do that. Do you offer any training for the staff that are going to be working with them or is that something that you bring in separately? That’s something that I bring in separately that’s something that I negotiate with the business right okay and so if people are listening in and they just think I might like to speak to Moon it might be a parent listening in thinking I’d like to move forward and help my son because as you know a lot of adults that might have finished at college or they may have finished at university they end up being at home in their room and they’re not going out experience any work whether it’s work experience whether it’s volunteering whether it’s a paid job how can they find you? My website autismindisguise.com I’m also on Facebook MoonSayed and I’m on LinkedIn as well. Okay so it’s MoonSayed spell s-a-d-e so you’re on Facebook you’re on LinkedIn and are there any particular books that you can recommend as well that are pages online that people might find useful to help them navigate this particular area? The one book that I will say had the most profound impact on me with most of my children is something called Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy I have no idea how to pronounce her surname I think it’s Chris Sinker but it’s called Raising Your Spirited Child and it isn’t specifically about raising autistic children but a lot of what she talks about with spirited children you can see a lot of that or I can see a lot of that with my children my high functioning high masking children the way they did things about allowing them to find themselves in many different ways but also the techniques for parents to be able to cope with highly spirited children that don’t quite fit the neurotypical way of doing things and sometimes it’s really hard when especially when you’re standing at the school gates and you’re seeing all the neurotypical children that come out and behave in a certain way and you know that your child is just not the same.

So when you’re a few questions that have popped into my head you’ve got two sons so how do they get on? Siblings because I like to talk about siblings and you know how do they get on well together or how is it? They have in some respects they have very much a sibling relationship they get on some days and then they don’t get on on other days. So just like any other brother or sister really? Pretty much yes. Okay and the other thing that sprung to my mind because you’ve moved so many times and you’ve got two sons that are on the spectrum obviously that’s a lot of change so how do they cope with that? What we’ve always tried to do with them is their anchors have always been their dad and I. That has been really really helpful instead of their anchors being places or things each of them has specific things that they take with them everywhere we move but mostly their anchors have been their dad and I and having that has meant that no matter where we go as long as dad and I are around and we’re with and we’re there the transition has always been a lot easier.

Okay thank you for that. So another one of the questions that I’m going to ask is about empowering young adults to understand and embrace their strengths and challenges because sometimes this can be very difficult for our adults for example. They don’t see themselves the way others see them or perceive them.

It’s always like see I know quite a few adults that focus on a negative rather than the positive things that they can do. So how can we help them embrace their strengths and challenges and move away from the negatives? Biggest thing is to listen to themselves and see the good that they do. I know it’s really hard to do that but often when you’re listening to other people you’re listening from the perspective of a negative you’re listening to other people talk about what they do and then there’s that comparison that comes in they can do this and I can’t do that.

And that’s one of the biggest things that makes a lot of young people that I work with see themselves in a negative light and they don’t see the little things that they do as amazing or wonderful. They just brush aside the things that they do because they take it for granted and a lot of us are guilty of that. You know we do that as adults ourselves we don’t see the things that we do as different or special or unique.

We just take it for granted because we do it. Really good support structure is important so having people around them who point out to them that was really well done or you know you did this today and I’m really proud of you and highlighting their skills and their strengths and their abilities even if it’s something small is a good way of allowing them to see the good in them the things that they do that makes them special makes them amazing makes them better than they think they are. Negative self-talk is really really difficult to overcome though and it’s quite ingrained as well in some of them and also yeah I’ve seen that as well with quite a few autistic adults that I speak to on a regular basis they seem to just hold on to the negative all the time rather than embrace the positive and they find praise difficult.

Yes yeah they do it’s quite difficult to overcome it takes quite a lot of work and a lot of mind shift so it’s a mindset shift that you actually have to start working on because it is in the mindset that you need to to shift the way they see things it does take quite a lot of time and sessions to start seeing things differently. And I would say the other thing is again speaking to adults that they ask lots of different people questions maybe about themselves or whatever it may be and everyone responds in a different way everybody doesn’t answer and then they might ask them again maybe in a few weeks or a few months time and again the person that they’ve asked they’re not going to respond in the same way or exactly the same sentences so that forces anxiety and they’ll say oh well you said this and now he’s saying this but she said that so what is true so again how can we help them with that sort of mindset as well what can we do to help them? Any tips and advice for people listening in? It’s similar to where I say to parents that you know your child better than anybody else it’s when you say to young people other people don’t see you the way you see yourself and that is a fact no matter how many people you ask you’re always going to get a different opinion because everybody sees you through their own lens and everything about their own life influences the way that they see you so it’s really not a good idea to keep asking people what do you think of me because what other people think of you is not a genuine reflection of yourself it’s just their perception of you and that’s not you that’s just how other people see you which is influenced again by their experiences their life their mood on a particular day Okay Do you think social media has a big part to play in this as well because of a lot of young people and adults and everyone now to spend a lot of time on social media and obviously a lot of it’s just not a true reflection of what’s going on and or how they are or how they look Do you think that has a big impact as well on our young people? I do I think social media has a huge huge impact on our young people I think that in some cases autistic youngsters are very innocent they’re very naive as well and they also take things a lot at face value so they’re not often able to read between the lines or understand that what they see isn’t actually the truth of what is and that there’s a lot that goes into making up that image or that story that they’ve just looked at because their brains don’t necessarily work to that convoluted I have to pretend to be this to be that kind of way so yeah and that has a very negative impact on them if they see something that looks perfect or wonderful or gives them a particular perception and it’s very demoralizing to think I could never be like that or how does this person do this I also think that Hollywood and movies are quite detrimental in the way they’ve portrayed autism over the last few years there is no accurate representation there’s always a stereotypical view and the spectrum is just so vast and everybody is just so unique and individual and you know watching it makes so many autistic youngsters feel like there’s something wrong with them because they’re not this portrayal of an autistic person so I just wanted to let people know that thank you for that sorry Moon but I just wanted to let people know that the Autism Hero Awards nominations are now open so if you would like to enter somebody that you feel go the extra mile somebody might like to enter you and for the Autism Hero Awards there’s 12 different categories so all the information is on our charity website so just to let you know that the Autism Hero Awards nominations are now open there’s 12 different categories and we’re actually going to be doing them next year but the closing date is going to be September of this year and it was so lovely last year we had so many nominations it was so hard for our seven judges to narrow it down to three finalists for each category and I also wanted to remind everyone about our Wellbeing Ambassador Juliana Wieter again because this is Women’s Radio Station and we’re always promoting wellbeing and she’s always sharing information every week on our latest news page about the power of touch she’s put something up there about belly breathing exercises to reduce anxiety so place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly take a slow deep breath through your nose as you inhale imagine positive energy coming into you try to expand your belly your chest should raise minimally as you exhale imagine negative thoughts and energies leaving your body exhale slowly through your mouth keeping your jaw relaxed repeat this exercise paying attention to the rise and fall of your tummy so there’s always lots of information lots of YouTube links that Juliana shares she’s sharing another one this week so please check them out because they’re really really useful and so that’s just something to remind you about on the charity website so you’ve got the Autism Hero Awards you’ve got Autism’s Got Talent again if you’ve got a talent whether you’re a singer or dancer whether you’re a musician you might be a magician you could be a poet please send in your entries again the closing date will be the end of May so you’ve got plenty of time all the information is on the charity website so back to Moon now so Moon do you think if you look back would you thought that you’d been doing this type of work would you thought this would have been your pathway? Definitely not no What did you want to do? Can you remember? When I was young I wanted to be a psychologist or a journalist I wanted to fly planes Oh wow so this is something obviously that you deeply feel passionate about so if I was to give you a wand and say how can you see yourself in five or ten years time what would you like to see yourself doing or how would you like to see your business progress? I’d like to see my business having a huge impact on the world I’d like to know that what I do is changing the lives of hundreds of thousands of young people and they are able to move into lives that are fulfilling both in a personal sense and in a professional sense that we’re changing the statistics of employed autistic people that I’m opening the conversation for them to have with their own autistic children and the way that autism is seen in the world just changes and everybody understands that every individual autistic person is just so different to the next even if their siblings in the same family my two children are completely different from each other they don’t necessarily do the same things they don’t necessarily like the same things you know and it’s just yeah making the world aware Oh that’s lovely so your eldest son you told me was into law and what about your youngest son has he got a passion? Currently he loves art and drawings so very different Yeah so what does he like to draw? It depends on the phase that he’s going through right now he’s into medieval knights and the armour and the weaponry and things like that so he’s into drawing swords and armour and daggers and seeds that carry knights everywhere so obviously you’re very busy and again because this is women’s radio station we’re always promoting lookers after our own well-being what do you do to relax? So what do you do to recharge your batteries? Because obviously we’re busy you know we’re here there and everywhere especially when you’ve got adults on the spectrum or children on the spectrum you know going to appointments or whatever it may be what do you do to recharge your batteries? I love to read that has always been my passion so I put aside some time for myself every day to just read not for research purposes but just to escape into my own little world and that’s what I do is I read that’s always been my passion ever since I’ve been a young girl What type of things you like to read? I read fantasy Oh do you? Well that’s another way of escaping the world Yes very much so Oh wow So what is it? What type of things? Mostly I read supernatural fantasy very much different to the world and it just takes me away from everything and allows me to imagine a different world and most of it is not technical so it’s not science fiction fantasy it’s fantasy that sets in a world where there’s mostly horses and you know people live by candlelight Oh wow okay that’s interesting I love to ask people because everyone’s got a different way of relaxing what they like to do so yeah it’s interesting so you obviously like the fantasy world well I think we don’t like to escape to the fantasy world with everything that’s going on in the world at the minute Do we want to watch the news because everything’s just so depressed at the moment but hey yeah I think the best thing to do is let’s all escape to your fantasy world sounds much nicer with horses and candles Definitely yes You would like to and your plan is to work with schools colleges and businesses to enable your mentees to easily move from one phase to the next in supportive and guided way so let’s talk about break it down so let’s talk about we’ve touched on it a little bit but let’s talk about schools then we’ll talk about colleges because we’ve got another 10 to 14 minutes so schools colleges and businesses so let’s start with schools so if a school contacted you what could you offer? To work with your sixth formers on the spectrum as they go through their A levels and start looking at what the next phase of their life is so once they’re in A level they’ve already chosen their subjects they have an idea of what they want to do once they leave school and it would be working then with their sixth formers to help them not just with their A levels and success in the whether they’re B text or A levels or whatever they’re going through but success through that but also it fits applications to colleges or universities or apprenticeships and working with them through that process through the application process looking at strengths and challenges what is best suited to them and then going the step further and actually if they want to go into apprenticeships or even apply to colleges is speaking on their behalf to the businesses to the colleges and making that process smoother for them because there is just so much of anxiety that is attached to that whole process suddenly you’re leaving the space where you’ve been for many many young people they’ve been there for about six or seven years in some cases if they’ve started at primary school they’ve been in one location for almost 13 years and now there’s this huge step to move into an unknown and the anxiety involved in that often leads to self-sabotage and they don’t take the step that they are capable of because they have the ability because they’re bright because they’re able so they end up either just not going into college not going into further education and being at home or they choose something that seems safe because someone’s told them you’re capable of this or this is what your scores say or this is what you can do so they don’t stretch themselves to what they really want or what they can do and it’s offering the support to help them to do what they have capable of what they can do what they want to do so that they know they’re not alone I can do it with them that I will do it with them and help them through the process and even once they get to college or apprenticeship I won’t leave them I’m there with them I will see them through the process I will be there with them I will check in on them liaise with the business where they’re doing their apprenticeship or the college to make sure that they are keeping on track and they’re managing what they need to be doing and they are moving forward successfully into that next phase so that they can feel comfortable they can feel confident and they can know that they’ve got this. So do you have a team? Obviously I know it’s a young business so is it just you at the moment because obviously if you’re saying that you’ll be with them all the time obviously you’re going to need other people if it grows to be with you and what sort of people would you be looking for it when you get to that sort of stage? I would definitely be looking for a VA to happen with the admin work I need to train a team to help me with the checking in and following up on the phone calls and you know making sure that my mentees are doing what they need to be doing I suppose it’s unrealistic in a broader sense but right now I would like to think that I would be the one to keep in touch with them as much as possible until I have trained somebody to do what I do in the same way that I do it so they’re still training that needs to be involved so not handing them over to anybody just yet.

I’m a qualified teacher and I’ve always seen my students as my kids and my mentees are no different they’re still mine. Okay so you I was just looking at your qualifications so your professional arsenal includes the certifications in life coach NLP practitioner a timeline therapy practitioner along with being a qualified high school teacher and certified in understanding autism. So can I just ask what’s a timeline therapy practitioner what is that? Timeline therapy is actually really interesting it was introduced by King Charles when he was Prince Charles a few years ago I think it was 2011 it was something that he researched and brought about to help a returning vet when they came back from war zones and it was mostly to help those that were coming back from Afghanistan to help with PTSD and timeline therapy actually helps them by revisiting from a disassociated point of view traumatic events so that they look at that traumatic event from an observer’s point of view and instead of seeing and re-experiencing the trauma of the event they actually see what can be taken from it the positives and the learning from that moment and keep that and let go of the trauma and then whatever that trauma has triggered down the line once you take the learnings and the positives from the original event it triggers that same learning all the way down the line to the present so that the trauma minimizes and lessens and it helps them to reduce and eventually get rid of that trauma all the way down the timeline to the original event okay that’s interesting I didn’t know that I’ve learnt something today and it deals with specifically five emotions so anger, hurt, sadness, guilt and fear those are the five primary emotions that timeline therapy deals with on an individual basis and we do that with each emotion and each event so it’s quite a long process but it works really well okay sounds interesting so if people want to find out a little bit more about that they have to look online where could they find some more information on that I’m happy to talk to anybody that wants to know about okay okay well just to share with people as well is that Moon will be sharing an article and her bio on the charity website so if you’re interested and also the links that she spoke about so she’s on Facebook she’s on LinkedIn I’m just looking at your list that you sent me you’ve got goalsetters.net empowering autism the family grit by what’s that the family grit the goal setters is an article about me and family grit fine is a little also a little bio about me but with some of my links so okay so do you think obviously you’re trying to help autistic adults to embark on their own personalised journey of growth so do you think since you start doing this work that you’re almost doing your own personalised journey of growth and discovering more things about yourself as you’re working with these young adults very much so yes I’ve learned that I’m also neurodivergent autistic and ADHD as I’ve gone through my journey so yes everything that I do has now more significance since I’ve discovered my own diagnosis how do you feel? I actually a lot of things in my life make sense when I look back now there’s a lot of things in my childhood in my early years that make a lot of sense to me that I see from a different perspective it also explains a lot of things about how I work now that helps me to work better okay do you think do you think you’re able to communicate better with your sons now that you’ve been diagnosed? For the most part yes I know that when we all get really tired then our communication is not the best okay I know that with my own husband when he comes in from work because he’s had such a day that he just has to switch off so what he does is he’ll just come in minimal conversation how do you think it’s all and then he may even lie in the sofa and have like a five minute nap to help him I can completely empathise with that yes I can oh dear so what do you do then? When you’ve had a full day how do you sort of get back into the right mindset? Do you sort of switch off or do you go off into your fantasy world or what do you do? I switch off so I just I take a few minutes and I say to them I just need a few minutes to myself and I just go to my room close my door and I might read most often though I just need some time to just sit quietly and breathe that’s all I need is to just have that little bit of peace and quiet when my brain can kind of slow down and I can see things clearly again and then I’m ready to come out and deal with them and having two children on the spectrum at the same time it can be really really challenging especially when they’re both having bad days at the same time so yeah yeah I totally I totally get what you’re saying sometimes I need time out myself sometimes it can be really hard and that’s what I say to parents just grab it as when you can because for me obviously with Angelo you know he’s always going to need one-to-one support so I can’t leave him so I have to be you know very aware of what you’re doing so you know I finish this raise your interview now then I’ll go and pick him up and then I’ll take him back home and then make dinner and go through and then sometimes I just sit down and I want to have five minutes piece but it’s just not possible yeah so it’s just that I’ve got a dog and we’ve got a cat so they want my attention as well and then my husband comes in and yeah it’s just like sometimes I you know I really love to be able to sort of switch off and but it’s just some days it’s just not possible it’s not possible yeah it’s nice yeah and it depends how tired you are as well sometimes you can get a little bit more ratty yes definitely you’re only here yes so just remind everyone again it’s obviously you come to the end of the interview it’s flown by so just to find you again just to remind them so you’re on Facebook so where can they find you on Facebook? Just type in moonside and you will find me okay and then LinkedIn is that the same? Same thing on LinkedIn yes yeah you on Instagram or any of the other social media platforms? I have an Instagram profile but I’m not on it regularly okay and do you have a blog? Not at the moment there will be one coming out on my website and I will be looking to create a collaborative book in about six months time so I’ll be looking for some people to co-author that book with me so right that’s great so if you can keep us posted on that I can share that for you on Women’s Radio and on the Charity website so I just want to say thank you so much for chatting to me today and a lot of information useful information there for our listeners and thank you for sharing your story and good luck to your boys and please when you’re finished because I’m not sure if it was stressful for you your agony permission to read a book on fantasy right off with your candle and your horse and thank you so much for having me on your show today I really enjoyed chatting with you and I hope your listeners got a lot of useful information out of it oh thank you so much just to remind you please just check out the Charity website www.annaKennedyonline.com latest news page constantly being updated and you will see Moon’s article on there and yeah and lots of information for you to think about on transition and you know reference to what’s going on in this world and how we can best support our adults so thank you very much everyone as I always say take it one day at a time some days good some days not so good but keep going keep putting one foot in front of the other you will all get there and please you know as well if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed please forget don’t forget please talk to someone it’s always good to get things off your chest for somebody who’s willing to listen to you so thanks again everyone take care bye thank you Moon thank you thank you