Hello, this is Anna Kennedy, and we’re talking all things autism. What a busy few weeks I have had, and just to let you know that Autism’s Got Talent was absolutely amazing. The performers are still talking about it.

We’re preparing for the Autism Hero Awards, which will be happening very soon, so that’s exciting. And then I was on the Lorraine show as a finalist. Apparently there was hundreds of nominations, so I’ve made two new friends.

Those three finalists, we’ve had an amazing time. It’s just been, it’s just been just like mind blowing everything that’s been happening. But if you keep checking the charity website, which is www.annakennedyonline.com, you can see everything that I’ve been up to and what’s going on within the charity.

So as usual, I have a couple of books that have been sent to me. So Autism for Adults, An Approachable Guide to Living Excellently on the Spectrum by Daniel M. This has actually been number one on autism on the Amazon website. So there’s an ultimate handbook for success on the spectrum, written by the creator of the Aspie World, the UK’s largest channel for autism education, a quotation.

There’s no one better than Daniel to help people understand the world of autism, and that’s by Jacqueline Larisha, an actress, an author, and an advocate for autism research. And I can vouch for that. Daniel is amazing.

He’s always got posts up or videos. So if you want to follow him, he’s called Daniel M. Jones, J-O-N-E-S, and he is the founder of the Aspie World. So please check that out.

I’ve also received a book from America called A Hidden Force, Unlocking the Potential of Neurodiversity at Work, and it’s by Ed Thompson. So how can your teams meet their true collective potential? Diversity, as you know, is a hot topic in the business world, but it has been largely restricted to meaning a diversity of experiences based on a person’s heritage, upbringing, or gender. As A Hidden Force points out, however, there is another type of diversity that has been overlooked until recently, and that’s neurodiversity, the differences in how brains process information.

So this is by Ed Thompson. He’s the founder of the CEO of Optimize, the leading neuro-inclusion training company whose mission is to help organizations embrace and leverage every type of thinking. So if you’re interested, check out www.ahiddenforce.com. I’ll just say that again, www.ahiddenforce.com. This looks like a really good book, and he’s also part of the Google Disability Alliance.

So my guest today is Tony Manto, all the way from the United States. He’s a singer, songwriter, producer, pianist, podcast host, and welcome to Tony all the way from the US. Thank you for joining me today.

Oh, thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Oh, thank you so much.

Before we talk about autism, tell me a little bit about Tony. Who is Tony? Well, I’m originally from a little town in Madison, and that’s up in the state of Maine. And when I was like eight years old, I was just like any other kid just out there playing and doing what we do.

And we had an old beat up piano that was in the house, and I would always go over to the piano and start just playing on it. So my mother just decided that if I was going to take and show some interest, she would get it fixed up and knew keys, knew everything on it, tuned up. And I started learning and taking lessons, and just music became part of my life.

Wow. So the piano was there. So does that mean that there was someone else that was playing the piano in the house? Was it a member of your family, or was it just sort of sitting there for a while and no one touched it? I was just sitting there for a while, and no one had touched it.

And it was kind of strange that we actually even had it because no one in my family ever played that I knew of, and I was the only one that felt the urge to try it. So I played on it for a while, and then when I went into high school, I joined the local band there, the high school band, and did percussion and all that. And they created a stage band around me where I played the piano, and we had horns and drums and everything.

And I just kept evolving and building. And the more I got into it, the more I immersed myself into it, the more music was what I wanted. I felt that I wanted to do anyways, and decided that I was going to try and see what I could do with it.

Wow. So you were inspired by iconic artists such as Elvis Presley, who couldn’t beat Cher and Karen Carpenter. So talk to me a little bit about that.

Well, I grew up listening to all kinds of music, country music. Elvis was the rock at the time, and then because Karen Carpenter was just the middle of the road type music. And I just loved music.

There was just so much emotion that the artist would put into it, and I could just relate to a lot of it. And so I just grew up listening to all kinds of music, and just used a little bits and pieces to form what I was going to do. So music just became so so big with me that I would just go out and get by anything that I saw that sounded halfway decent.

And then I would immerse myself into them and learn what I could and build and grow. And I just kept developing from that. Wow.

So your first real opportunity was in 1976, which brought you to Nashville for the first time. So talk to me a little bit about that. Well, a couple of friends of mine were songwriters.

They didn’t have very good transportation. So they asked me if I would take them to Nashville. So my first inclination was, why would I want to go to Nashville? It was more country, and the music I was doing at the time was more like the Eagles and the middle-of-the-road pop music.

But I went down there with them, and it turned out to be a lot more than I expected, because I had this vision of what Nashville was in my mind. And when I got there, it was completely opposite. It was concrete and steel like any other city.

But it was also very laid back. You could walk into an office, and people were very, very kind to you. And it just really grew into something that I liked.

So I started going back and forth and recording there. But one time I was there, I was helping my friends. They’ve got a publishing deal, and they were doing a song, and one of the piano players couldn’t make it.

Something happened. So I filled in, and here I am playing with some of the best musicians in the world, you know, in the studio. And this record label executive comes in.

He didn’t know me, but he knew everybody else who was talking with him. He came over and introduced himself to me. And he immediately told me, he says, if you would want to go over to Call Me Your Records, they’ve got an office in the back, and Ronnie McDowell manages there.

And he needs a keyboard player and a singer for Ronnie. So I wound up doing a short tour with Ronnie, and I decided that I didn’t want to be a sideman, you know, backup musician. I wanted to pursue my career.

So after the tour was over, I went back and started working on my music and started building and growing from there. So talk to me about songwriting, because we’ve just recently done Awesome Scott Talent. There were a few of our performers who are now songwriters as well as performers.

So talk to me a little bit about songwriting. So if somebody listening in, you might inspire them to write songs or inspire them to play the piano or play an instrument. Well, you know, songwriting is, is, is a personal thing.

You know, people will sit down, and they’ll have these ideas form in their mind. And it can be lyrics or music. It could be, you know, or both.

I know songwriters that are their only lyricist. And then I know other songwriters that they only do the music. And then I’ve got friends of mine that that do both.

So what they feel and if they hear the music, and if they do, you can have a song written in five minutes or five days or five months, you just never know. Sometimes you can sit down and all of a sudden, everything just flows. And you’ve got within 15, 20 minutes, you’ve got a song developed.

And then from there, you take it in the studio and you start working on it and arranging it and putting the music to it as far as the actual players and building it. So it’s a process. But but the main thing that people need to do is just really focused on what they want to put across the message they want to get across.

They do that, then, then if they, if they take and have music in their mind, they can get with it. If they don’t play an instrument, they can sit down with somebody that does and they can kind of kind of sing the melody. And in the end, you’ve got something that’s a viable product.

And then that’s when you start pitching around to see if you can get somebody to record it. Or if you’re going to be a singer yourself, you go into the studio and put some tracks down and sing the song and develop it into something that you could put out to radio or or put out into a performance wherever you’re performing and just build from there. Wow.

So can you remember your very first song that you wrote? You know, it was just a little little song that didn’t amount didn’t really amount to anything. Never really pursued it. But it was, it was just something that I sat down and and I just wrote, you know, what my feelings of time.

And and it was so long that they would never get played, because I think it was like, at the time, I think it was like seven or eight minutes long, because I just kept, I just kept putting it in and putting it in and putting it in. And then at the end, it was so long. And that’s the one thing that people that are going to write a song, they need to really think about the length of the song, try and get as much information in the shortest period of time that you can, so that you can get it across.

Because when you’re when you’re pitching to a song to a radio station, if if they’re like, like at the top of the hour, they’ve got like three minutes or three and a half minutes left, you if you get a four minute song, they’re not gonna play a song, because they got it at the top of the hour, they got to do their their IDs and everything. So you try and keep the song. And it’s grown over the years back in the 70s and 80s, it was like two minutes, two and a half minutes.

And now it’s grown to three and a half to four minutes. But if you can keep it in that three minute range, then then at least you’ve got, you’ve got you fit the format of what what radio is looking for. Yeah, that’s what we say to our performers that send in their entries for Autumn’s Got Talent, three minutes max.

We I also speak for another radio station called Gateway Radio, which is where I share it with one of my charity ambassadors, who’s also a radio presenters names, Aston Avery, he’s autistic. And we actually have a section where we play unsigned recording artists so they can send in their recordings. We don’t play them all, obviously.

But if you’re interested, please check out Gateway Radio, anyone listening in who might like to get their song aired on the radio. So let’s talk about let’s go to talk because it’s all it’s all about all things autism. So can you remember the first time you met somebody that was on the autism spectrum? Yeah, actually, this is my my journey with with with what I’m doing, is it one that’s not your typical journey.

Okay, I, I don’t have anyone that’s autistic in my family. And I don’t, and up until up until I started working on this project, I really didn’t know that much about autism. Okay.

And how this all developed was during a pandemic. I was a singer songwriter year before I moved to Nashville. And then when I moved to Nashville, I kind of gave up the singing and performing.

And I went behind the scenes producing, managing, developing new singers, getting them ready to go to radio. So when the when the pandemic hit, it all shut down. There’s no recording, there was no performances.

So there really wasn’t a whole lot for me to do. And, and I’ve been talking over the last 10 years or so that, you know, at some point, I’ve got to do another CD just from the front of it, just something that I can do. So for enjoyment.

So I decided to pick up and do that. So all of a sudden, this song come to me from a friend of mine that I’d recorded a song of his for singer I was working with several years ago, and it was called Why Not Me? And the song was about never giving up on your dreams, because the mountain air climate, don’t be afraid. Doesn’t matter when you do it, only matters that you do.

And I’m going, Oh, this is me. This is what I put up on my social media. I’m always telling people never give up on your dreams, keep working.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, just do it. So, so I recorded the song, and all my radio promoter friends in New York, Nashville, LA, and over in the UK, wanted to hear what I was doing. So I sent them this song.

And they all said to me, they said, Oh, you got to release this song. And I said, No, no, I’m not. I can’t.

I’m not going back on the road. I’m not going to perform again. I’m just doing this to give to my friends, my family, kids, grandkids, whoever might want it.

And they said, but it’s so positive. And that’s what we need right now is something that’s uplifting. So I released it, it went into the country market, because I had produced it as a pop style.

But I put a steel in it for texture like the Eagles used to do. And because of that, everybody thought it was a country song. So I just said, Okay, no problem.

So I released it. But I’ve been going, Okay, if I’m going to release it, I’ve got to bring some attention to some people. So I decided at that time, I had just recently done a few years prior to that I’d helped out a family that had a fallen officer and raised some money for them.

So I did a video, oh, why not me? And it was a paid tribute to our first responders. So the song and the video did really well, went about six, seven months, but and then then it finally dissipated went away, like all songs do. Yes.

And then I thought that was it. I thought it was over. So then about a couple months later, this lady calls me and she goes, I really like what you did with with that video.

And the song, could you do that to help us? And she was a speech therapist for autistic children. Okay. So I told her I said, I said, you know, I said, I really don’t know if, if I’m the one for you, because I really don’t know.

I don’t know anything about autism. I don’t have anybody that’s autistic, my family. I don’t know if I’m a good candidate for you.

And so she said, well, can you talk to our regional director and all this? And I did. And then we decided that, okay, I’ll try and do something. So, so then I, I just decided that the best thing for me to do was to rerecord the song as a more pop adult contemporary version.

And, and then I went out and I rebranded it and called it, why not me Nashville? So I included autistic, autistic people in Nashville. And, and I had a few special needs people in Nashville that joined me in it. We put the, put the video together.

And we did that about a year ago. Okay. And it’s gotten, I’m in Scott, almost 230, 240,000 views.

And it just, it just blew up on me. Everybody thought it was just so good and they liked it. And, and then at that point in time, I had a podcast company that called me and they said, we’d like you to be co-host with, with a couple of our people here.

And it was a business orientated podcast. So I told them, I said, well, we’re going to talk about business and they want to talk about my music business and what I do. I told him, I said, I said, you’ve got to take them.

We had to spend the last 10 minutes on my, my video that I’m supporting autism awareness. So we did. And at the end of the seven, seven podcast episodes, they wanted me to do 10 more.

And I said, you know, I just don’t think that this is a good fit. So I decided to start my own. So I started, why not me the world? And I was going to do just a couple of shows a month, just something to, to keep it out there and, and, and where it goes.

So my first interview was, was Dory Clark. And she’s a autistic lady in London and she, she’s a poet and an artist. So she told her story and people just loved some of the things that she had to say.

And, and, and from there, it just, it’s, I got another person. We just kept growing. And in July, June was the first thought first episode.

And then I had two episodes in July. By the time that I finished July, I had so many people calling me and wanting to be on the show that in August, I turned it to a weekly episode podcast. And, and since then, I mean, it’s just totally amazed me.

It’s grown. I mean, it’s just really exploded. I’ve hit, I’ve hit charts all over the world, the podcast charts.

I’ve hit the Apple podcast charts and in UK, in the UK, I’ve hit the Apple podcast charts in South Africa, Argentina, Canada, here in the US. And I mean, it’s just really, really grown way more than I expected it to. And it’s really turned into something where I’m getting, I’m not only getting people to tell me their stories, but I’m creating, it’s created this little community within itself, because people, people that have been on my podcast are now talking back and forth to each other on, on Instagram or Facebook or whatever.

And they’re telling their stories. So my goal out of this thing was if, if I could get one person that it helped, then it was a win because, because these people are telling their stories of either how they found out that they are autistic or, or they’ve, or they’ve got kids that are autistic or their families autistic, or some found out they’re autistic in their later years. I had a doctor Rachel Mosley on here during the month of September, which is suicide prevention month, told me first story of, of being autistic and the, and the research that she does for, for autism, autism in England.

And, and it’s just really just exploded on me and grown. Yeah, I think the thing is families who have autistic children and adults, they just want to voice as well, and they want to share their story. And that’s what happens as well when we do Orson’s Got Talent.

Like, for example, there was a young man called Henry, like such an amazing voice, but his mom said she was so proud of him on the stage, but the big thing for her was that he’d made friends and he didn’t have any friends. And this is what happens when autistic people, children or adults come together. This is what’s so powerful as well about Orson’s Got Talent.

It’s about obviously giving them the opportunity to sing on a stage, in a theater, you know, then it’s also that people in the audience are autistic. So it gives them an opportunity to see others on the stage. But also you get, we do, for example, we had a young man called Finley.

So last year, his brothers were part of the pineapple performing arts dance crew, and he was in the audience. And it’s motivated him to send his entry in, you know, he’s a good singer. So he sent it in.

So we chose him this year to sing on the stage. So from watching it last year, he performed on the stage and his mom said, you just don’t know what this has done for the whole family. So they just need to be given that opportunity to either speak or to perform or whatever it is, but also then to be validated as well.

So it sounds like you’re doing some amazing work there. And I just think podcasts are just a fantastic way for the Orson community to share their voice. And I was just looking at some of your interesting facts.

So you’ve appeared on the Grammy ballot for producer of the year for five times. Tony has four awards given to him in the UK for artist management and record label of the year. Tony has 40 nationally chartered songs as a producer, 33 top 40 songs, 16 top 10 songs.

Tony has produced 13 artists placed on the ballot for Grammy consideration. And Tony has had seven nationally chartered songs as an artist. So people want to find out a little bit more about you.

Where can they find you, Tony? Well, they can Google my name, Tony Mantor, M-A-N-T-O-R, or they can go to Facebook, Instagram, all the social media platforms at Tony Mantor. YouTube, again, it’s Tony Mantor Music. They can find me on my website, TonyMantor.com. And I just urge anybody that wants to either be on the show or just give me any type of feedback they want, reach out to me.

Because this has turned into something more than I expected it to. And the people that are coming on the show are telling such great stories. Because the one thing, I had a lady that kind of gave me some information that works for a charity in Kansas City.

We were talking six months ago. And I was just asking her questions about it because I really didn’t know much about autism. So now I had a chance, so I had her on my podcast because she has two autistic children.

She told me her story. And then I talked with her here, I don’t know, a couple of weeks ago, and we were talking back and forth and everything. And she says, listen to you.

I said, what? She goes, you are carrying on conversation now about autism, whereas six months ago, you were asking questions. So I think, and this is part of what I’m trying to do also, is that people that are not autistic don’t understand people that are sometimes. And I think with the autistic community, every April they’ve got Autism Awareness Month, and they’ve got Autism Awareness and Acceptance.

And when I started looking and doing my research on autism and how they promote it and bring awareness to people, I thought they was lacking one word. And so my slogan for my podcast is, why not me the world, Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Understanding? Because I’m trying to bring more understanding, not only to people that might just be finding out that they have kids or family that’s just been recently diagnosed, because as you know, when that person is first diagnosed, it’s a brand new world for them and they don’t know what to do. So because there’s so many things out there.

So my whole goal in this podcast is try and help those that might need the help. They might hear somebody that’s telling their story and have a similar situation and never thought of that way to try and help or do something. So my whole goal is to bring more understanding.

And I think that if we can get people that aren’t autistic to listen and learn, that it’s just going to help the whole world community-wise, whether they’re autistic or not, it will just help that whole community grow and understand each other better. And hopefully just make things a little bit easier for people to live in the community. So can I ask you, now you’re learning more and more about autism and obviously doing a great job with your podcasts.

If you had to think back when you were at school, can you think of people or even growing up that you might think, oh, that person may have been on the autism spectrum or can you think of people growing up that they possibly may have been undiagnosed or diagnosed autistic? I always ask this question because sometimes people think, yeah, as you know, as I’m talking about it more, I think, oh, I think that girl in my class was probably autistic or whatever. Can you think of anyone? Yeah, yeah, you know, I’ve thought of that and the interesting part about is I had, I had, she’s not, she hasn’t been released yet, but she’s going to be in the next month on my podcast. All right.

She’s just turned 60 this year and she didn’t get diagnosed autistic until she was like 44 or something like that. So she told her story of growing up during the 70s and realizing that something wasn’t right, but because autism wasn’t really something that was talked about or even diagnosed back then, she went, went through a whole, whole period of her life of, of having to, to learn and figure out that she was different and how to, how to navigate through, through, you know, every day to day situations. And she, she said to me, she says, you know, she goes, I lost four decades.

And then, and now that I, when I hit my, my fifties and my sixties, all of a sudden now, because I’ve, I’ve figured it out. My life is starting to flourish. So, so yeah, she was talking about different things.

And, and while she was talking about those, I’m going, you know, there was probably some people, you know, in my, in my classes when I was going to school that might’ve had the same, same situation. Yeah. So do you know whereabouts is that you’re living, what the services are like for autism? So for example, how long are people waiting for diagnosis? Is it easy for children to get support where you’re living and, you know, growing up transition employment? What, what, what is it like where you’re living at the services? Good.

Yeah. Cause I live here in Nashville. Right.

So, so Nashville’s got some pretty good, pretty good outreach to two places that will help. They’ve got one of the, one of the few places, cause one of the big, big problems that, that autistic people face in the space is, is places to live, you know, because so there’s a, there’s a place here in Nashville called our place Nashville. And they work with, with, with autistic and special needs people trying to find them or get them in a, in a position to where they can live comfortably by themselves in a little community that that’s in their neighbors, autistic.

So if they have any issues or have something that they need, they can, they, they kind of work together to help each other out. So it’s, it’s, it’s growing, it’s getting better. I mean, cause it’s every place tells me that they still need more funding.

They still need more, more help. You know, so it’s, it’s, it’s pretty decent, but when you get out into the more rural areas, that’s when the services aren’t there as much. So it gets kind of, kind of tough, you know, for a lot of people.

So they’re still waiting a long time for a diagnosis because I know here in England now, the waiting list is just getting longer and longer. We did a survey a few years ago now and on average people were waiting five years for a diagnosis, which is a long time in a child’s life, especially when you’re reading books about how important it is for early intervention for children who are on the autumn spectrum. And I’ve seen that as well in schools where they’ll, you know, the early you start working with children, speech and language therapy or occupational therapy or whatever therapy that child may be, because obviously every single child and adult are so different from each other.

You know, there’s a saying you’ve met one child or you’ve met one person with autism and you’ve met one person with autism because they’re all so different from each other. Yeah. So do you know how long they have to wait for a diagnosis? Because I know a lot of people now, since I’ve done the show with Lorraine, I’ve been inundated, especially with women, you know, thinking that they may be on the spectrum.

They now turn into get a private assessment and that can be quite costly. Yeah. It’s still an issue here in the States.

There’s one charity says just go out there and just do, you know, call everybody that you can. They give out names and numbers and try and help anybody as much as they can. But it’s still a waiting time and it’s still something that we need as a society to do a better job on.

Most definitely. So I was just reading as well nearby that it’s my hope is that my music and desire to help others using my music platform will inspire others to help as well. So what are your dreams? What would you like to see happen in the future? What would you like to see happen in the future and the future of your podcast? Have you got any other ideas that you might like to do? Well, you know, I’m working on doing a documentary next year to try and bring more awareness and attention and understanding.

I’m just waiting to see what’s going to happen with my podcast because I didn’t know what to expect when I started it and it’s continuing to grow and it’s only 15 episodes in. That’s the thing that’s really amazed a lot of my friends and me as well is because they tell me that when you put out a several months to a year or more to really develop that following and develop any type of charting or anything because it’s just a process. I’m only about four months old with 15 episodes and it’s really grown way faster than I thought it would.

So I really don’t have anything where I’m sitting down, okay, I’ve got to do this or I’ve got to do this because every time I make a plan or think about something, something else comes along and I look at I’m going, oh, this makes more sense than this. So let’s do this. So my goal is just to help as many people as I can, get the word out there as the best I can, try and find ways to bring more attention to what people are in need of and just build as much as I can because this thing has been such a whirlwind for me of not knowing what to expect out of it that has grown so quickly that I just can’t sit back and say, okay, I got to make plans because every time I do, the plans seem to get pushed aside and something new comes in that seems better or someone new will come along and say, hey, can I suggest this? So it’s like I ask everybody to tell anybody that wants to be on the show to reach out to me.

Do they have a special thing they’d like to hear? So I mean, I’m open. I’m not this structured podcast that has to be A, B, C or D. If somebody comes along and brings an idea that really makes sense that I think could help somebody, you know, then I’m going to talk with somebody to have them on. So that’s kind of my plan on that.

So I’m just kind of letting it grow naturally the way it’s going to grow and see where it goes and what it builds to. Okay. Well, if you would like me to come on, I’m very happy to come on to talk about as a wife of someone who’s on the spectrum and a mum of two adults on the spectrum.

And now I’ve devoted my life. Oh, I definitely would love to have you come on. Yeah, I just like I’ve spoken to many people who’ve known me all my life.

And they said I was very quiet when I was younger. But yeah, I’m completely different person as in I’ve always got my feet on the ground, but I’m very driven and very focused. You know, it’s just like it’s become a passion for me.

And I suppose when you have two sons and you just want to try and make the world a better place for them, you come to so many parents who are in a similar situation. And obviously, you hear some horror stories as well about, you know, the way autistic some autistic people have just recently just read one. And, you know, I’ve been treated, it’s just like, you just do whatever you can to help your sons and other children like them navigate this complicated world that we live in at the minute, the best that you can.

So yeah, count me in. I’d love to. I’m always doing lots of different things.

So and I try and fit as much in as I possibly can in my life. So talk to me a little bit about mental health and well being as well, because obviously, this is a show as well that promotes well being for women, but also well being for everybody with everything that’s going on. So the people that you’re talking to so far in the last 15 podcasts, so they have a touch on touch on mental health well being as they talk into you about how it’s affected them.

Yeah. The one thing that especially in females is because the diagnosis out there that’s put out for everybody to find out is that three out of four people that diagnosed are boys. Yeah.

And I’ve talked with several people that actually think that the numbers of females that are autistic are way more than what they think they are, because females mask it so well. Yes. With a boy, they just get out there and they’re a boy.

They just do what they want. They don’t care. They don’t worry about their clothes.

You know, if it looks a certain way, whatever they want to be, they want to be. Whereas with a female, they try and fit into a certain group in a certain way, and some of those groups will dress a certain way or act a certain way, and they try and blend in and fit in, and they mask it so much. And then sometimes when they get into their teens, they’re going through so many hormonal changes in their body that it’s just going and spending their mind in several different directions, and that’s when they start getting depressed.

And then when they get depressed, of course, that’s when you have to worry about their well-being on their mental health, because they start thinking of, how do I get out of this? How do I change this? And sometimes it can be very dramatic. I mean, I’ve talked with several women that we’ve touched upon this, and the biggest fear that they tell me is the suicide rate, because suicide rate is so high in the autistic world, and females mask it so well that when they get depressed, they start going into those dark spots. So that mental health of what they start thinking and how they go to these different places, that’s where we as a society have to really learn to see some of these markers and get to know some of these people, so that if we see them doing something or acting a little bit different than even they might normally act, we find them some help so that they can get their mind straight, because it’s a sad thing when we as a society just kind of push this group off to the side, and it’s not my problem.

But we as a society, unfortunately, sometimes we’ll say, well, that’s not my problem. But then when it becomes their problem, then it’s this big, big problem. But up until it became their problem, it wasn’t.

So I think we need to do better there so that we can recognize all this and build and help people through their dark times so that they can grow and have a life like anybody else would want. Just live their life and have a decent life and build from there. But it’s a tough road from the different people I’ve taught with, and I think we need to address that.

Yeah, I speak to many adults who just want to contribute to society like everyone else, but they feel that a lot of them that they’re being discriminated against. I was just recently speaking to two families of adult autistic young people where they were in the process of looking for work or employment and worried about, well, shall I put that I have an autism diagnosis on the application form? What if they discriminate against me? What if this is going to stop me from getting a job? And then obviously, it has an impact on their well-being. So it’s obviously, as I always say, it’s very much down to the individual.

I do know that there’s a lot of young people, especially in their teenage years, some of them just don’t want to disclose it. But as they get older, sort of in their mid-20s, then it’s fine to disclose it. They don’t care.

As my son always says, if you don’t want to talk to me, if you don’t want to give me a job type of thing, there’s plenty of other people that you can speak to or go to or employ. So I always remember that when he went into his work placement, he just said straight away, because it was an open plan office, I have a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome, more or less saying, this is me. And then the manager said, yeah, well, this young man here, he’s got dyspraxia, he’s got dyslexia.

So it was made to feel comfortable as soon as he was there type of thing. It wasn’t a big thing. It was just like, okay, and so let’s get on with it type of thing.

So what’s the support system like for people who have got mental health and well-being? Because I know it’s getting a lot worse here in the United Kingdom with everything that’s going on and the cost cutting. And it just seems like people who have a disability are the first targets for when they do cost cutting. And it’s very frustrating.

Well, you know, the biggest thing I think we need to do, and I had a guy on my episode that he had such a unique thought process about it. And this just goes again to the understanding, because he actually does some public speaking. And he actually said, said to me, says, you’re not going to believe this, he goes, but I had, I probably had eight, nine or 10 people come up to me.

And once they find out that I’m, that I’m married, and I’ve got two kids that are astounded, because they didn’t think autistic, you could have kids. Right. I said, you’re wife did.

And I thought this was just a fantastic way of looking at it. He sat down with his wife, and, and they worked out this, this plan. And, and it was a, it was a culture plan.

He says, he says, you know, he says, if you meet somebody that’s from a different part of the world, he goes, there’s a different culture. He goes, so he goes, why he goes, and you wouldn’t look at that person with a different culture as being anything but somebody that’s living in this world that was brought up in a different culture. So he and his wife treat his autism as a different culture.

So that way, she has to learn his little idiosyncrasies and how he acts and reacts and, and the different things that the artistic world, he has to live in. And, and the way that the, that autism affects his life. And they’ve created this culture thing.

And, and he says, it’s just worked out really, really great. And I think that if someone was to start a plan and take this around as school systems and, and do different things and, and where they treat autism and not just autism, any, anything that could be a little bit different than, than what’s considered so-called normal, you know, that if they treat it as a culture difference, so that people have to learn about that culture, because, because in school, you know, people have to learn about, about the culture of the US, about the culture of Japan or the UK or, or name any country, you’ll learn their cultures sometimes in, in school. So why not learn, you know, that these, these, you know, autism or, or Down syndrome or whatever it might be as a culture and learn about it.

And the more you learn, the more, the less you’re concerned about, about what’s going on. And it just becomes everything is everybody’s normal. Yeah, I think there’s more and more people now being diagnosed on the autism spectrum and talking about young people.

I just recently was on BBC East Midlands news where there’s a young man. He’s 11 years old. His name is Max.

And he came up with a solution because he was finding it difficult with clothing. He didn’t like seams on the clothing or the labels or whatever it may be. And it was just very, very scratch.

I’ve had the same experience with both my boys, they’re finding the materials were scratchy or whatever it may be. So Max, he was five years old when he’s first diagnosed as autistic. And he’s also got PDA, which is pathological demand avoidance.

And he’s created his own clothing range, which is amazing for a young man who’s 11. And what he’s done is he’s incorporated a sensory toy, if you like, within the seam at the bottom of the t-shirt and they’re called puppets, those things that you press. And there’s a lot, or help them self-regulate.

But if people are interested, if you can just check out Max, the neurodivergent kid who hates clothing, and he’s come up with a genius solution. So if you just type in Max in Google and sensory clothing, there’s quite a few articles about him. He’s an amazing young man.

And also I’m ambassador to a clothing line that’s called Born Anxious, a mum of a young lad who’s autistic. Again, it’s very sensitive with the seams, or the labels at the back, or sometimes they have buttons that are inside the labels that they find quite difficult against their skin. So if you check out Born Anxious, and they have some strap lines on there.

So for example, I don’t like loud noise, or whatever it is that you’re looking for. So that’s another clothing line for people that might be interested. So it’s called bornanxious.com. And there’s lots of different items of clothing.

So it could be a hoodie, could be a t shirt, could be jogging buttons, hats, whatever it may be, again, all sensory friendly. So because this is a program about mental health and well being, what do you do for your own mental health and well being, Tony? So how do you, so obviously, you know, there’s a lot going on with what you’re doing. So how do you relax? What do you do to help you relax? Well, I try and find my safe place, which is in my studio, and that’s where I do my music.

So at night, you know, I’ll listen to different songs that I like, and just find my comfort zone that way. Because the one good thing about music is that it can transcend you to any place you want to be. You let your mind go there, you can hear a song and all of a sudden remember something you did 20 years ago.

Yeah, you can hear a song and all of a sudden, it kind of makes you a little sad or makes you a little happy. You know, so I try and find, you know, take a little time every day, sit down, and just kind of, I might go into my YouTube and look up, you know, different songs or different things and watch that and listen to it, and just find just that 10 minutes or 30 minutes, whatever I can get, just to take and let my mind go and think about nothing other than what I’m listening to. Okay, so I always promote, I have a campaign that calls Take Five because parents have autistic children, they have so many things to deal with.

So it might be, you know, they’re working, or they’re taking their children to appointments, and there seems to be appointment after appointment. So it’s always important to take five minutes just for you. And I know it’s really difficult.

You know, I find sometimes I find it really hard myself, but whatever it is that helps you relax, it could be going for a walk, it could be just going for a bath and have a glass of wine, whatever it is that helps you relax and just be you, not a mom, or a wife, or whatever it is, or a director, whatever it is, you need to just have that. Because if you burn out, because a lot of parents are the linchpin to the families, and they need to, you know, keep going, because, you know, as you know, a lot of children and adults have difficulty sleeping. And my youngest son Angelo, he sleeps three to four hours a night, sometimes I’m up all night with him, even though he’s 30 years old, you know, and obviously I’m getting on a bit now.

So I need to think of the future for him. Because the question at the back of a lot of families minds, a lot of parents minds are, who is going to look after my loved person, my young, when I’m no longer around? And that’s the question when I speak to parents, that’s at the back of their minds all the time. And that’s why I’ve got a petition going at the moment as well is just because, you know, there’s not a lot of things out there.

And there’s a lot, as I said, a lot of horror stories that you hear that have what happens, you know, I’ve spoken to a couple of gentlemen where, for example, when there was a man that his parents have died, and they’ve now sold a property and it’s a property where he’s lived for 40 years, they’ve moved him about 50 miles away from where he normally lives, so where all his friends are. So it’s just like it’s just a concern that parents have. So what I would advise is that look after yourself, but also put things in place, you know, like you might not want to think about writing your will or whatever, but Mencap in the UK, they have a good workshop that you can join the workshop, and then it sort of gives you the tips and advice that you would need of what you need to include in your will.

So I would definitely check it out. So do it sooner rather than later. I know it’s something that you don’t want to think about, but it’s something that’s really important.

Yes, I have. That’s probably one of the biggest things that’s brought up on on my podcast. Yeah, is is their their concern on as they as the parents age, who’s going to take care of them if and when they go.

So so yeah, that’s a that’s a huge concern by a lot of parents that I that I speak with. Yeah, I always I take my son Angelo walking. We we tend to go for walks in the parks and we always go to the same park.

So it’s about four or five different parks. Angelo likes familiarity. So and I try new things, but sometimes you can just see it.

This is not working. So we just have to do make it sort of small steps if you like. But I always see there’s gentleman he must be at least in his mid 80s and he’s walking in hand in hand with his dancing drum daughter.

And I just see them walking, you know, trundling along at the park and it just always it’s lovely, but it also tinges me with sadness, you know, I mean, so it’s just yeah. So it’s something as I say, that’s always at the back of my book, please, please do look at the men cap workshop if you can. And do put something in place because the last thing you want is social care or social services coming, taking all your money and then putting your son or daughter in some awful, awful place.

I always I talk to my son Patrick, who’s got Asperger syndrome. And he says to me, Mom, I can’t do what you do. So I said, I wouldn’t expect you to do what I do with Angelo said, all I would ask of you is to make sure he say make sure he’s okay, make sure he hasn’t got any bruises on him.

Make sure he’s clean. And you know, he’s happy. He says, I can do that.

So I said, that’s all I asked you because he he’d been worrying about it for a little while, and he hadn’t said anything to me. And then he just sort of blurted out apparently said something to my sister, my sister said, says, Talk to your mom about it. There’s no point in you worrying about it.

And then he just came out, then I could see a sense of relief that I wasn’t expecting him to live with his brother and look after him type of thing. It’s just like, just make sure he said just make sure he’s okay. And these are the things that you know, what parents want.

So are there are these sort of things highlighted, you know, on your podcast, you know, as you talk to people, they’re a little bit older, if you like, and they’re, their children are getting a little bit older as well, and they’re worrying about what’s going on with them after they’ve gone. Well, absolutely. And I spoke with a guy just that he’s going to be on next month.

Right. And, and he, he brought up the fact that that he’s got five kids and three of them are autistic. And his wife is undiagnosed, but they think that she has autism, but they just haven’t, they haven’t really, really, you know, diagnosed it, because she, you know, fully capable of taking care of everybody and doing everything.

So they don’t think that’s a need. Right. That’s both their concerns is that he’s a family man, and, and, and he’s close with his siblings and, and the, his fear is, what happens if we’re not here? Yeah, the siblings, you know, have got to be close to each other because, because that family was going to take care of family in the future.

So yeah, that’s a huge thing that, that parents are all concerned about. I mean, I, I had, I had a guy that was on my, on my podcast, and he, his story was tragic. I mean, I mean, at first, because he had, he had two, two boys that were autistic, and one was fairly violent, and one was just outgoing, and they clashed all the time.

And, and when they had, when this, when one, the older one would have a meltdown, it would usually be 30, 40 minutes, but then one day he had a major meltdown, it was four hours. You know, and, and, and he said, at that point in time, he instead of leaving, because, because it was overwhelming him, he and his wife were, were arguing back and forth because they had different approaches. And, and it was just such a, such a, a mess for him, he said.

But then he, he went outside, got underneath a tree, and, and just, he said, man, I got just prayed for five minutes, because it seemed like five hours, but I prayed for five minutes. He goes, he goes, and this is the answer I kept getting, the problem is not your kids, the problem is not your wife, the problem is you. You know, and, and then he finally realized he goes, well, if I’m the problem, I can fix that.

So we went back in, and he started working on it. And, and he come up with this, with this program, that how to treat his kids, that his, his neurotypical kids and his autistic kids. And after a while, it started working, you know, and, and, and then, and if people want to hear this, this is Kyle Jettsell is the episode.

But now what it doesn’t tell in that, in that, in that particular episode, is it just told about how he worked with his wife and how we, how we developed this program and how it worked and, and how now his, his life is, is, is a lot less stressful. But what it doesn’t tell is shortly thereafter his wife died. Oh, and, and then he’s left to take care of his kids.

And there’s one, one kid that will probably live with him for the rest of his life, because he just can’t adapt to the outside world. The other one is okay, he’s going to be, he’s going to be able to, to get along. So he tells his story consistently to different people about what’s going on, and how, how autism changed his life, and how he had to look at it differently, and how he had to change his life, and then when he lost his wife.

So now that’s what he’s concerned about what happens if I go, you know, so, so everybody has that in the back of their mind about taking care of their kids, you know, and, and, and it’s a, it’s a, it’s a struggle that is something that they have to take and work through and, and figure out and, and find a comfort zone someplace that things will be okay. And it’s what works for you again, because obviously each family’s individual and talking about a sensory overload. I took Angela to the garden center today, because it’s a little bit cold.

And I thought, well, let’s not walk around the park today. Let’s just go into the garden center. And I’ve forgotten that when we walk in, they put all the Christmas stuff out.

So it was like a big change. So as we sat in the cafeteria, he had a sensory overload, it was just too much for him. So I took him outside because they have like an outside sitting area.

So we sat outside and he calmed down. And then one of the staff came, I thought was really nice. And she just said, are you okay? Can I help you in any way? Can we do anything to help you? Do you want to come back in? So there’s a bit cold out here.

I said, no, he’s calmed down now. It’s fine. And so but the thing is people, even though you think sometimes people don’t care, they don’t get it, there’s always someone that will come up to you and says, are you okay? You know, that I can do for you.

And so, sorry, there’s a lot of good people in this world. I mean, I mean, it’s, they, they try and they don’t understand what’s going on sometimes. But but there’s a lot of lot of people that want to help and, and, and will reach out to help.

It’s just sometimes, unfortunately, we run across those that don’t. And those are the ones that stick in our mind. But but there are a lot of good people.

They are. And I think more and more now because, you know, there’s more information about autism, there’s more programs about autism, and people talking about how it impacts on their life. So it’s becoming more public.

So again, if people want to follow you, Tony, just because we’re coming to the end of the program, can you please share again? And also it’ll be on the charity website. Can you share again where they can find you on social media and your website? Sure. They can find me at my website, which is tonymantor.com. Then Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all the all the social media, they can find me at Tony Mantor.

And then of course, YouTube, Tony Mantor Music. It’s been a real pleasure talking to you and talking about, you know, I’m so pleased that you’ve set up the podcast and you’re giving families the opportunity to, you know, talk or share their story, if you like, and what strategies that work for them. And just to say to everyone listening in, you know, if you feel that you might like to speak to me, as Tony is doing on women’s radio station, I think I’m booked up for the next few months now.

But if you’d like to speak to me, please write in to the charity website or you can write into women’s radio station. So the charity website, just to remind you, www.annakennedyonline.com. You can follow me on Twitter at Anna Kennedy One, on Instagram at Anna Kennedy OBA, or you can follow the charity website on Facebook, which is Anna Kennedy Online. So once again, Tony, thank you so much for taking the time out and talking to me all the way from the US.

Oh, thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. Oh, thank you so much.

And yeah, please keep checking out the charity website. It’s constantly being updated every week by Lauren, who works for the charity and gives up her valuable time. And as to all my volunteers, everybody in the charity is a volunteer.

And we’re very passionate and driven about what we do and raising awareness and acceptance. So keep checking out the latest news page. As I say, it’s constantly being updated every week.

So thank you again to everybody. And I hope you have a great week ahead. Keep going, as I always say, some days good, some days not so good, but keep going one day at a time.

Thank you. Take care, everyone. Bye.