Hello, hello, and welcome to Free Your Mind. Let's talk about it with LKJ. It's another lovely morning, um, on a Monday as we start the week with a new show, an exciting show, um, where we will bring in another guest, another guest that I know personally and an absolute dear friend of mine, um, who I collaborated with and met in January, and since January she became a Global Woman when she signed up, that became a Global Regional Director. Angela Song is our guest today. Angela is a property developer, an investor, a consultant, a landlady who looks after her own portfolio of over 20 properties in the UK and abroad. Manifested and achieved in less than one decade. She is the host of Birmingham Partners in Property Group, masterminding the second largest subscription-based community of regional investors. Angela is an author, an entrepreneur, a business networker, and also regional director for Global Women. She has owned businesses in the food, beauty, clinical, and online sector. Been in the arena of the business acquisitions and sold businesses. She was formerly a qualified science high school teacher as well as a mentor and educator for colleges in holistic and beauty therapies after graduation with her degrees. Angela is without doubt a doting mother of two beautiful grammar school boys. Even from a poverty background, she believes all wealth can be achieved. Golden Wealth Creations is the wealth mastery mindset and movement course, the successful formula of ultimately achieving wealth through combining business education, therapy, and coaching to achieve desired results. Using rapid transformational therapy and hypnosis to remove mental blocks and self-limiting beliefs. So on that point, I'm going to bring the wonderful Angela in. Good morning and welcome to Free Your Mind. Let's talk about it with LKJ. How are you, Angela? Oh, I'm so good, thank you, Lady Kalejaga. Thank you for inviting me on. No, it's an absolute pleasure. As you know, um, It's an unbiased and unjudgmental show. So what a wonderful bio, you know, you really have created an amazing platform. Um, I would say an amazing life, really, really, uh, just a fantastic journey, a fascinating journey, one that, um, has gone through its ups and its downs, and at the end of the day here to share, and knowing who I am, what I am, especially being a Chinese ethnic minority from a very poverty kind of background that I grew up in, that success can be achieved. I'm not saying this is it, I'm successful. I'm saying the journey is, is so important, and if I can share this journey and help other women give a handout and support other women and make them believe that they can have all of this, have that what they want. I think, I think that's where my destination really is. So as you're saying, um, yourself coming from poverty and a different, um, Chinese background, do you think that hampers you? From becoming somebody that can free their mind, be an individual person that can stand by themselves. Are you saying you are trapped a little in that culture? Do they hold you back? Could you explain that to the listeners a little bit more about your life, Anja? Can we take you back, if I may, to this wonderful, beautiful, actually very, very beautiful lady But as a child, can you take the listeners back? Because for some of our listeners may not quite understand the culture regarding your background, what it's like, you know, because— Yeah, in different ways, you know, family beliefs. Yeah, so saying, you know, being an ethnic minority, saying that I come from a Chinese background, my mum and dad were immigrants from Hong Kong about 45 years ago now, longer than that even. And when they first came, obviously they had nothing. So they wanted to build a new life here in the UK. Probably they couldn't see a life where they came from. So everything was good. They know that jobs can be easily found through the relatives that came through to them. And so they worked for restaurants and takeouts and in one of the places they worked, where I was brought up, was above a takeout, a very stereotype kind of environment for many Asians, for many Chinese people in the past who have brought up— been brought up here. And in those days, we— if we had the restaurant or a takeout, then the staff, and the likelihood is the owners, will also be living upstairs So with the burden of my, um, that I've came into this world, my mom and dad needed to work to make sure that they bring enough money in and that this child, which is myself, is not a burden to her work. So my grandmother was brought in from Hong Kong to have to come in to look after me, and the owner kindly let us— it was all the places were full, all the rooms were full, so we had to sleep under the stairs. We were put in a single bed under the stairs on the stair landing. Probably you wouldn't be able to even visualize it at, you know, today's world, but that's what kind of happened, like a bit of like Harry Potter under the stairs. But, and then during the daytime, we would take off the MFI boards so that I can play on the stairway And on the nighttime, we'll put them back so it gives them a bit of a cover, like a curtain sort of COVID And we will sleep, and we can hear when the staff finishes. They will walk up the stairs and we hear them, and they'll be going in and out of the bathroom, in and out of the rooms. And me and my grandma will be sleeping, and it'll be like 2 hours before it all settles down, before everyone switches their light off or do what they need. So that was the kind of lifestyle I was brought into. The early, I would say probably 3 or 4 years of my life. And playing on the stairway, oh my gosh, I must have fallen down the stairs quite a few times. And I remember there's, my mum told me there was this, I had been unconscious and rushed to the hospital. But obviously it's one of those because that's my play area. I didn't have a lot of play area and a lot of space to play. And then when I was 4 years old, I remember my grandma always went downstairs throughout the time to help them also prepare the meals and the food for the kitchen, ready for opening up. And being 4 years old, I was able to hold, like, you know, in cutleries we have knife and fork and the normal knives. I would use those to help chop mushrooms, then I would start cutting onions and my eyes will water. All sorts of things. But there was also one instance where I really remember that my grandma was in the kitchen opening an oven and I was on her back. At the time, probably I was like 1.5 years old and she was helping out and she would kneel down and open up this commercial big oven and that heat that came out, that barbecue smell that came out, I think it was just full of meat and ribs being roasted. And she was turning the meat over. And I, even as a child, as a toddler, I would not forget that heat, that smell that went into my senses. So I know my grandma did it in order to help my mom and dad to make sure that we were not like a complete burden to the owners, that we were useful in some way. And my mom and dad saved enough money, then they bought their own business. And again, I was expected to go downstairs to help, especially like weekends I have to be called in to work. Age 8, I was already working in the kitchen handling hot food. Age 11, I was over the counter serving customers, ordering, taking orders in and out. Age 15, 16, I was sitting in the accountancy office and making those phone calls with the council, environmental health officers, So I had to grow up very, very quickly, and I never really have much of a childhood, I would say, um, lady. So, um, that was, that was how, that was, that was generally how I was brought up. And I do know many other, uh, what we call BBCs, which is like British-born Chinese. Many of those people are brought up the same way I have, um, because of the times that their mom and dad came in as immigrants. And they grew up in the takeouts, in the restaurants. So, and I do know many, many Asian people as well, you know, in the convenience stores and trying to make a living for themselves, their family, and live upstairs the shop. And there are still loads today in that kind of situation, but times have changed. People have become— have saved, have invested, have become wealthy. And certainly where I am today as a parent, I would no longer want my children to go through the same thing. And certainly they're not, and they're very, very lucky, the children today. Just don't know how lucky they are. Because, you know, when we order, you know, the British and all around the world love the taste of the Oriental food and when you're going in, you order, you pick them up, you don't actually— I don't know how many of us, even when we've sat at that counter, actually lurked and just sitting there waiting. Then there was always a newspaper or something that you put on the counter for people to go by, and then you get to know them. Hello, Mrs. Ong, how are you? And became the clients that you knew. But the culture that you have, I cannot imagine If I'd had a restaurant, you know, or my parents had that thing, I think I would help because of your family principles that are bestowed upon you. But when you look at the culture, it's work, work, work and saving it up. But do you feel, Angela, that you missed out on your childhood? Absolutely, because I was made for weekends, even as a teenager, I would ask if my parents would allow me to go to parties, do things that normal teenagers would do, but no. Saturday, Friday night after school, I have to be there on the shop floor. Saturday, I will start work at about 11 o'clock, peel prawns, pack prawn crackers, fried prawn crackers, mountains full of those, and with the prawns you have to even knife out and gut out all the intestines. You know, years and years of that work. And I even got an award for being the fastest prawn peeler and cut the guts out sort of thing for the prawns. So that's one thing, by the way, I needed that past to leave it. So I don't eat prawns now. That's one thing that I don't eat. And also beef as well. Not because I'm Muslim, but I do believe that cows in the, um, in, in, in society, in, in, in the past, have helped a lot with our farming industry many, many, many years ago and helped produce rice and paddy fields. So these are two sort of meats that I don't eat for a reason, that I've given up on. But, um, I definitely do feel my childhood was kind of robbed, which is why I emphasize on my children having as much fun as possible in their life. And I would say I didn't have one weekend off until the age of 32. That was when things started happening over my side of my family, in my marriage, and that's why I couldn't go back home. But that was bestowed upon me, that I have to go back home. It was like, it was like almost like a trance, like a spell. You know, my mom would say, 'Oh no, you have to come back for dinner.' 'Oh no, you've got to come back to work.' But even when we had the staff, she was quite curious why I had to go back to work. And I think she just wanted to make sure that my dad, because we were all 3 girls and I was the oldest, that it would please him to have to believe that he has a family and the children are coming home. And also obviously to help out with the work and read letters and translate. So yeah, yeah, that happened for a long time. And in that period of time, I think I was in a— I was zoned out. I was zoned out. I only learned how to work hard, how to be better, how to generate more degrees, pass more degrees, get more qualification. Because the other thing is, my dad always told me, or told us as daughters, that we're not good enough. Um, we're not good enough as being a girl. That was one thing. And we're not, we're never as good as other people, so we're always made to, you know, we're always judged and compared to other children. Always somebody else's child, somebody else is better. You know, if I got a B in my GCSEs, why didn't I get an A? Because blah blah had an A. Well, blah blah had private schooling, of course. They were— they had people investing in them. They didn't have to work over the weekends. They didn't have to work over the holidays. So, but I didn't understand why they were very— they always sort of like looked down on the fact that their children is never good enough. But having said that, one of the things that I really worked on as a growing— during my midlife crisis was, was I actually good enough? And why did my dad always say that? And because of that, that also gave me the drive to achieve things. What's next? What's next? At some point, my sister said to me, oh, you'll just have a collection, you just have a collection of certificates. And to me, and then my, for example, my ex-boyfriend will say to me, oh, you want to be president or something? Because you go to university at daytime, at nighttime you go to another college to get another degree at the same time? Why do you need it? And internally, it was all about me feeling not enough, and I wanted to please my dad. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted to prove him wrong, that I can do this. I can be employed as a professional. Because at some point when he was— when I was young, he also said, you know, you're a Chinese girl, you're always going to be a second-class citizen. You know you're different, your skin color is different, your language, even maybe perhaps even your accent is different. What else? I just felt different. And when there is a— he would say this, this is his words— when there is a white person and when there is you as a girl and as an ethnic minority, always the job is chosen for the other person, not you, because it's just the way you are, because we live in the UK, we're not, you know, we are different. So I was always made to believe that we were not good, I was not good enough in that sense. So I had to be better. If people had one degree, I have to have two. If people have one job, I would have two. Um, it was always just pushing myself further and further, and that's why 'Lady, when you read my profile, oh, I'm this and that and the other. Well, I've done all of this and that because I needed to work myself up the ladder. I needed to be more and do more.' It wasn't just purposely for the status or something. It was the fact that I wanted to prove that I can make money, I can be independent, I can— I can is a word— I can, rather than than a whole list of qualifications and what I do. So, but reaching that now, I guess, I kind of realised that, gosh, if someone like me who looks like me, feels different, and is told that I'm not good enough in general from a traditional background, and I can reach where I am now, then why can't I help other women? Believe that they are enough, that they can reach whatever level they want and be whatever they want. So, Lady, there is this, um, this, um, yeah, this, this, this belief that we need to conquer through our traditionality and this glass ceiling that we put on ourselves. Well, we don't just put it on ourselves. I guess there's expectations. We, we're always living to other people's expectations— our moms, our dads, our cultural expectations. And as women, um, that we should be good daughters, we should be good wives. Anything else extra, you don't need to shine. You need to make sure that you are, you are the shadow behind your husband. The man is the breadwinner, and even if he is not, make sure he looks like he is. And I certainly have this belief in my marriage a few years ago, and it was completely wrong. Belief was wrong. Yeah. Well, I think for any listener, you know, listen, that is some way of life. Yeah. But when I'm I was sitting there and analyzing what you were saying. I do believe what you were taught from that thing that Sean, which I think is coming to your property, which you're saying about always want to be better, is the simple fact that you do have strong ethical approach. You're not lazy, you're not going to sit around, you're not going to just sleep. You're gonna go and get it. But by going to get that, you were charging against something to say, I am enough, I am worth something, I'm Angela, and I'm sorry I was born a girl, but I do count, I'm a gift, I have a right, I have a right to journey with a final destination. And what you gave, your quiet commitment to your family, but constantly going in and doing that, chasing. And really, you know, child abuse in the form— I'm sorry to say that, people— that your father, why is it you could not be accepted? Or your sister, when you worked so hard, you did everything, but you would never change that mind concept with that, because why would you want to be? Didn't get an A. As you quite rightly said, because you're working me and working me, and that's our family, that's our beliefs. You do not step outside our box. And it was almost through fear. Your father has a immense amount of fear in what they did in the master, even if he wasn't the achiever, the main breadwinner. It was always shared because that's the way it's done in your country. Hong Kong, it was you lived, wasn't it, Angela? Yeah, yeah. And you know what you just said there, Lady, about fear? I had this fear. My dad is the only person in this world that I fear, and this fear was put upon— not actually probably even by my dad, it was put upon my mom. All the time, ever since we were young, she would always say, 'Oh, don't do that, that will displease your father. Don't, you know, or don't, don't say that,' or, 'You must come home, otherwise your dad will be, uh, not proud, would be upset.' It's always projecting like he is this big powerful king monster, and, um, she has given all her power to him and Everything was a projection. So when you are told as a little girl to— now even as a full adult, she would speak in the terms of, "Oh, your father expects this," or, "Your dad, you know, wouldn't approve of that," or something. And it's actually, have I ever questioned if my dad actually spoke like that? Have I ever questioned if my dad wasn't pleased? When I couldn't get home that weekend. You know, I, I'm not saying he, he is or isn't when that happens, but I've never really even questioned it. And it's always been my mom who's projected my dad as this great big, big great monster or something. And I'm not saying in traditional families where there are Asians and all that, the man is, is, is not in that kind of power figure, but sometimes the projections of somebody. Maybe they're not— maybe they're more loving, they're not all cold as much as they are. And, um, I still, you know, and I kind of realize now that being the age I am, and that's a full-grown adult, and mentoring, teaching other people, um, whether actually my dad actually really did say these things when we were little, um, uh, made me— make him feel so fearful about him. So yeah, it's one of those. Well, no, I don't think it is one of those. I think with the fear that was put on with you has left a deep scarring, a scarring that, you know, it was not until later in your adulthood life that you all of a sudden stopped. I went, no, I'm not going to chase fear anymore. I'm not going to be frightened of my my father. You have given so much to community. You brought the children and your love, your respect for your culture, for your surroundings, and the actual passion you have within your surname, Song, because it is important. You feel you have to fly that flag. You want that name to continue and what you're doing in there. But you did lose so many childhood memories and memories of growing up. You say constantly working, going there. I mean, regarding culture, I mean, we do see now with diversity and equality that we are having people change from their cultures and mixing. For instance, we see Pakistani people marrying British, we see Chinese people marrying British, but many years ago this would never have happened. I totally agree, and I remember one time when I was working in one of my old partnerships, because I was a skincare therapist and I did mole removals as well. And one of our partners, he was like 4 different nationalities all blended into one. And he would say, this world is going to be— in 10 years' time, this world is going to be changed into everyone's going to be multiracial. Into different races or mixed. And I do believe, maybe not 10 years, but maybe, you know, the way that we are moving society, mixing and traveling, everyone's migrating everywhere. Um, I do believe that this world is, is going to be even more mixed up in, you know, it's not gonna— we're not gonna have pure white blood or Chinese blood anymore. Um, it's all going to be in multi, you know, multiracial. And we need to, um We need to make sure that this diversity is welcomed, and it's even better for our gene pool anyway because it dilutes out more of these internal diseases. Yeah, so yeah, I mean, this fear thing, I want to just explain and talk about a quick story. And one of the big events that I found in my life about fear and fear of my father And, um, I mean, he's, he's not a bad man. He's done nothing bad, honestly. But what I felt at the time was bigger than me, um, and that was a time when I had to go through my divorce. So I chose a man, he had problems internally himself because his dad died when he was, um, 4 years old. So he's never known to have a male figure in the families. He's, he's always feel sort of broken and he hated his childhood. He would never mention it, and I could never ask him questions about it. He just says it's the past, you don't want to talk about it. So when it, you know, what I didn't realize was I thought he was, uh, born here like me, pretty gonna— it's gonna be pretty open, like, um, quite British in his, in his own ways because he's been, you know, grown up in British schools and things like that. And I didn't know his thoughts are very, very traditional. And I didn't realize that he was actually so much like my father and his traditionality and his thinking. And he wouldn't support me with my work. He didn't want it. He wasn't interested in my successes or in the fact that I wanted to do things well. And say if I got a property or I have found enough funding for a property and I was going to go for it, then there'll be no support. I'll do it on my own. And even when we got to get the keys for our buy-to-let property, and I would consider that as, um, oh look, we've got a buy-to-let property, now we're on our way to, you know, building our wealth in our family and we're sharing this. But he wouldn't even get out the car to go and see the property on the day that I got the keys. So I should have had alarm bells at the time that things were a bit funny, and the fact that he wasn't comfortable with my success, and there was jealousy and things like that. But that was long before the divorce sort of happened, so there was an inbuilt of lots of little things. I mean, he worked very long hours, but I thought— I made the excuse that because he worked long hours, he would have no time to phone me, call me. He would come back home, Sometimes I would wait for him at the beginning, especially of the marriage, I would wait for him to come back home, and he'll come back and then he'll be like, 'Oh, I'm taking a shower now and I'm going downstairs to watch TV,' and I would say to him, 'Well, can we spend some time together, maybe talking and understanding your day?' And he says, 'No, I'm a bit tired, I just want to watch TV downstairs,' and I would say to him, 'Okay, can I come downstairs and watch TV?' 'No, you stay in bed.' And this happened for 2 or 3 years, and in the end I decided to shut myself off. So I didn't really have this husband that was supposed to be— in my mind, um, my creative mind, probably thinking that this should be my best friend, someone to share my life with as a partner, as a soulmate. And, um, he wanted just to marry me and leave me as a vase on the mantelpiece, and just I'm only seen but not heard, and as a status quo, and to have children. So being years in a relationship where there wasn't a relationship really, I remember at the time I was really, really cold I didn't talk about my emotions. I knew I wasn't happy. I kept saying to myself, I wish I could be happy. I wish I could be happy. And my kids were growing up, and my only happiness was actually through my work and through my kids. So I had to— at some point, I remember he came home late at night. I'd be working at nighttime, my property, building my property stuff, buying stuff on Gumtree, eBay to save money. On furnishings and things like that, and doing my accounts and working out my credit cards, whether I was able to pay it this month and things like that. I was right on the edge of everything, always on the finance side. And he would come back home and I would automatically think, okay, I quickly have to shut everything down, run upstairs and hide and go to sleep, pretend I'm asleep so I don't have to see him. Or I would build this invisible wall around myself so that I don't see him. The only thing I'll just say to him is hi, and that's it. So I don't feel anything. I don't feel the cringe inside my heart, the pain inside my heart, how, how unhappy I was. And at some point, when I just shut off my body's emotions and I would just try to use my logic, that's when the panic attacks start coming. And, um, and they were very, very painful. Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, I can't tell the difference. Probably panic attacks were more stronger than, uh, just anxiety alone. And there's one time that I just blacked out. I fell on the floor. It's like 2 AM in the morning doing some accounts. Out of no reason, I blacked out. And then when I woke up again, I don't know how long it was because everyone was asleep upstairs. And I thought, my goodness me, that was so painful. I could have died. And what if I woke up and I was disabled somewhere, or my circulation cut off and I, I have like a stroke? I mean, was it a stroke? I wasn't even sure at the time. So, um, then I believed that, okay, that was a calling. It's a calling. I have to do something. I can't live like this. I can't be in this environment. And worst thing is, what if my children didn't have a mum to keep them going? Then their cycle would be a vicious one, just like their dad who never had a dad. And they'll be never shown love or affection or even hugs and kisses in the family, or being told that I love you. And I decided that no, these children need their mother, need me to show them the way of life, not the way their dad showed them, to show them love, to show them that this is not the right way our family is. So, um, I, I wanted to live for my children. It wasn't even felt like it was for myself at the time. And the scariest thing that why I couldn't walk out on this earlier from this relationship is the fact that my parents— I would let my parents down. And again, my dad— I had that fear of letting my dad down. I had that fear of what my dad would do or say to me. So inevitably, I had that phone call from my parents, but actually, I was prepared for it because I knew that if I had— if, if I, if I died, then there's nothing left. There's nothing to talk about. So when my mum and dad asked me, am I going to divorce this man, I said yes. He says, are you sure? I said yes, because I've been so unhappy for so long. I've come home over the weekends, I tried to tell you this, no one would recognize me in any signs that something is wrong in my marriage, something is wrong with me. That I was very, very depressed. Everybody just ignored any bad news, any, any, anything that's bad. We pretend to just shove it off and we don't talk about it, go under, pull it under carpets. So, um, my dad said to me, okay, um, we disown you. She— yeah, my dad said to me, um, my mom and dad said to me, we, um, We don't want you back home again. We disown you. So that point, that was my worst fear, my worst nightmare, is the fact that the fear of my dad's rejection had actually come true, finally came true, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Um, having said that, I didn't go home for over a year, and then when his sister died, that's when my dad realized that life was too short. And I was the one who got the phone call from my cousin from Hong Kong saying that, you know, our mom had died, you need to tell your dad. And I took the courage, I put I lifted the phone and said, "Dad, I know you don't want to hear from me, that's fine, but I'm here to deliver a message. Your sister's died." Say that again, Angela. Sorry, I said I had to deliver a message from my cousin to my dad, and I picked up the phone and I said to my dad, I says, Dad, I need to tell you something. And he says, I don't want to hear from you. I says, I understand you don't want to hear from me. It's not about you, it's not about me. I'm a messenger. I'm telling you, your sister has just died. And, um, yeah. And I said to him, I says, Dad, I know you've had an operation on your knee. I know you can't fly. I says, Auntie loves me the most out of all of us, and I need to go to her funeral, and I will represent you as well. So until there was a death in a family, that's when he realized that, oh, hang on, status is not that important. What people think wasn't that important. Because he was so— because my parents were so scared about what people think. Oh my God, you were a disgrace to the family. You're a— how could you? How could you have a big wedding like that and now let us down? What would people think of us? Don't even go out to Birmingham. This is where, you know, where we live. Don't even go out to the city. And I said to my mum and dad at the time, I said, do you think you guys are king and queen or something? How could you put yourself to that high level thinking, thinking and telling me that? I says, but I will respect you and I won't go out for a while. I'll keep my head down, okay? Prevent people from asking questions. But I said, it's, it's, it's very, very terrible. And, um, yeah, so Jags, um, Lady Jags, um, that's what happened really. So for the listener, I think we're sitting in horror actually at hearing what we've just heard in the control, but the, the fear again, the father's fear always living in fear that he failed. In his belief, he's failed. He came, he had no sons. His daughters were there, they were just, you're just going to have to work, you're not going to help the family. I failed in myself, my forefathers, to produce this male who's going to take over the business, he's going to look after everything. The girls in it. But in actual fact, what he'd done is pushed you into that male role to hold everything up. Who couldn't see that work? Always in recognition not to be frowned upon within your society, that you bring shame. Because his belief is we have to be quiet, we do our service, we close our doors and we hide within. You need to go out in that strong cultural belief. But here was a girl that worked so hard, done everything, that when he said, 'You put us through this marriage,' you went in which you believed was love. Entered those vows with a true belief of love. I'm not sure, um, what changed your husband without going into further analysis. But the pressure for him being a man, but he produced, you produced two songs. So for your father, for that, you know, this strength has gone through. Yes, it missed one generation, but by goodness did he give you a powerful tool, a tool in which you respect your culture, you respect everything. However, you have a right to be who you are. You have a right to have a purpose. You are anjasul. And why should we be living in trapped marriages where there are no love, where in the end, you know, it's better to walk away? And it's shown in psychology. We know that if you are in a loveless marriage. The children will notice, they will hear, they will naturally feel the energy that comes from that, and it's not right. So you did the right thing. So if I, if I don't get it, it's better to never love again, but kept the memory of the true love and rely on the love of them and your children, not bring shame in it. The person that brought shame actually you know, without being awful, was your husband. Yeah, he lost his grasp on the beauty of love. He didn't respect you, had no time for you, didn't want to hear your voice. You're being silenced. Go away, go away. So in the end, you've left. May I ask, how is your relationship with him now? Do you speak, or do you actually avoid each other? Um, I think He doesn't have the confidence to look me in the eye when he speaks because he knows that I'm much more of a powerful person than he is. And maybe, maybe it was like that, that's why he also belittled me in the marriage, so that it made him look bigger. I mean, he would say to strangers like, why would you put a picture up like that of a 4-year-old drawing? And 'Looks rubbish.' And this is his son, by the way, who drew a picture. And, um, and, and why would you do that? You know, 'Oh, she's, she's an idiot.' You know, why would you do that? He calls you an idiot? No. Yeah, yeah, she— you know, he would belittle me in front of other people, strangers, and other people, um, in our marriage. And I didn't know why that was at the time or anything, but I kind of realized at the end of all of this is the fact that he had very low self-esteem, low self-confidence around me. He chose the wrong one, clearly, and the only way to lift himself up was to bully me. And I— excuse me— I thought again I was not good enough. I thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I wasn't pretty enough. I wasn't, um, I wasn't, um, you know, it's just not good enough, not worthy, not worthy of love. Um, but I do believe he's suffering the pain of the loss of love without him, even if he doesn't realize it. Because when you're given the gift of love and you grow that love and you create love in the form of children, you must always respect that love for each other and not enter a battle of Kramer versus Kramer, for instance, War of the Roses, because you hurt people. The hurt and the rejection is— on average, they say it takes 11 weeks for people to accept that their marriage is over. You know, when you've left, they're coming back, they're coming back. This is why, you know, we see people going off on these rebounds and then you're going back to film. It was a midlife crisis, whatever. But when you inflict pain on somebody else, that cuts deep, especially our heart, you know. Um, it's so fragile actually and can tear very easy with the mind. And inflicts such emotional trauma on our body. I mean, statistically it's known that most— a lot of men, you know, cannot survive after a divorce. They find it too difficult, the pain that's gone in it, because of lack of failure, that they've failed in, in their commitment to that. Now for yourself, I mean, the two boys are absolutely beautiful, but for yourself, making that decision, and now actually your father finally, he finally accepts what this wonderful daughter he has now, does he? Yeah, so I mean, after that year and after I went to my, my auntie's funeral, came back, and then From then on, I started picking up the children and basically when I got a call, it'll be— it wasn't called from my parents, it'll be from my sister saying, "Mum, Dad says, are you taking the boys over for dinner?" So it didn't say, "Are you coming back for dinner?" It says, "Are you taking the boys over for dinner?" So, you know, it was projected that way, but then slowly once a month I would bring the grandchildren home, and then more and more. Everything became okay after a while, even though, you know, it was difficult. But time heals, you know, people. And, um, where I am today, I believe it was the best decision that I've kind of made in my life, knowing that I left that toxic environment. It— my children I showed my children how to become lovable, myself into a relationship where I'm loving, I'm happy, I've been shown how to be loved, how to be respected, how to enjoy life and share everything and found a soulmate. And he showed me how love is and how it is to respect each other in a relationship. I put lots and lots of hugs and kisses and love and I tell my children that I love them. And ultimately, they changed. My children changed from a place where they didn't know what love was about or how it's shown. And now they're so lovable. Like, they cuddle. They, when they see people, would smile, ask questions. When they see me, they see their grandma, they will hug them, they will kiss them, and they give love and that compassion so freely now because I show— because I change. I had to change myself because I was a cold person too, and I had to change my body, my body language, and the way that I behaved as well around people. And, um, so all of that changed, and my children changed. And, um, yeah, they, they— and then I concentrated and focused purely. So when I was living with the children I couldn't stay focused. I was like, okay, you're on the side, I still have to do this work. So the quality time wasn't actually there. It was just, you take things for granted. But since the divorce, I leave the children with the grandmother because that's where, um, my ex wanted to leave the children with the grandma because otherwise it will break her heart. And her whole purpose is to look after the children, um, their meals are healthy, their laundry is done, every single sock is put to pair together. So she concentrated fully on the children whilst I concentrated on work, and so did my ex. And it was a win-win for everyone, and I really, really appreciate, you know, my ex-mother-in-law for helping me out. And everyone was happy, and I could focus. When I had the children, I could focus not on work or anything else, but 100% on them, their time together, our time together. So, and because of that, they also had my time with the education, focusing on that. And during COVID I had more time with them to do the 11+ exams. So both my children managed to get into one of the best grammar schools in the region, and I'm so proud of them. But yeah, I'm just so proud of everything that's fruition now. Yeah. But through that fruition and love, you have found love again. You've actually— because you shouldn't have been punished, this was not your fault. You did the best of your ability, and it shows in actual fact in that last testimony you just made regarding how you kept with the culture that the grandparent brought the children up. You kept them happy, kept them balanced, everything like that. And obviously I asked the question, how did you get on? Which obviously he does, you know, see you. Does he live with his mother then? Yes, you're talking about my ex? Yes, yeah, with his mother. It's traditional. And with the two children as well. So over the weekends I have my two children because they're so full-on with their schoolwork and school day, they don't have a lot of time anyway after school. So weekends and then some, all the holidays that I'll get my children. I can focus on really enjoying the holidays with them, taking them on holidays. Um, we got our second home in Valencia now, so we love the beach, food, homemade food here, the sun obviously. So, um, we're going to spend a lot more time together on holidays, but it's always been value. We've, we've really enjoyed our time together as, as mom and, and children. And adventures. So yeah, and as we were saying, yeah, which you have the love and everything on there, but you have found love again in the wonders of this wonderful gentleman called Nick. Yes, Svetnik. And what a guy, completely by your side. He doesn't tell He allows you the life that you want together. He allows and wants to hear about your day, wants to hear your emotions, and he supports in every single way. However, let's not let the listener believe that Angela Sung can do what she likes, because if she steps out, trust me, Nick gently will give her a nudge to bring her back in there. So because, you know, we do remember wealth, wealth of love, wealth inside. Not saying that you run away, but sometimes when we're busy and everything like that. But you're also in that love with Nick, and when we actually find, when the pain has gone, that we are given true love, we actually understand what true love means because we wouldn't have known had we not gone through that pain and the difference in love. Now you know that love that you have with Nick is absolutely amazing, and the boys get on very well with him. Yes, so, you know, we all, we all going through our separate ways with separate partners, and, um, I found love, and Nick's always been supportive by my side. Sometimes he even says to me, you know what, I don't even know what technical terms you're talking about in property and and that, but I'm happy to listen to you. So that's, that's fantastic. And sometimes you need someone like that. Like, you don't— even he does trading, for example. He's, he's been the building consultant as a builder and knows the houses, how to build buildings inside out, and the technicalities. But now he's trained, retrained himself as a, as a, as a, as a trader. So he's always looking at the bar charts and doing swinging trades and things like that, all sorts, and learning. And he's, he's just fabulous. He tells me things and I don't know what he's talking about sometimes, and show me these graphs and I'm like, please, I don't even know what you're talking about. But we, as partners, we have to listen to each other. If they want you to listen, just listen, even if you don't know what they're talking about. And, um, the thing is, when you say something out loud you actually confirm it to yourself, not just to the other person, about something. So it manifests itself because we bring energy into it. And I believe, um, you know, this, this journey that we're on is about sharing, learning, caring, is about, um, compromising sometimes. We go over the line, we need somebody to tell us that we have, or we're becoming judgmental, or we're becoming maybe even arrogant in some ways, um, or you neglected something that in the business that normally you wouldn't do because everything's running fine. So sometimes we need, we, we need that other side of our, our partner, a friendship, or whoever to tell us, to put us back on track. Absolutely. Because that's true love. Yeah, your partner is there for you in good and bad times. A friend is there for you in good and bad times. True loyal family will say, stop, you're destroying yourself. In your marriage, you had to say, stop, stop, I'm destroying myself, we're going to destroy this. In, in a friendship, you know, even at work, if you If somebody is trying to do something, you say, "Stop, you're doing it wrong," and they would, you know, not understand. Stop, relax, we can do it, let's work together. You know, in property, for instance, if you're a plumber, someone's adamant they're going to get this done, so under pressure, just stop. Because a leader will always do the same as that person there. And that's why even a leader has love, even a workmate. You have this love for your colleague at work, but you may think, "Do you?" You do, because you spend so much time with them that you need to have that balance there as well. It's another part of you that you have to go through and what you're doing with it. So it's So fundamentally important that we keep this balance. But something else that you have an absolute gift for is when I met Angela in January, she was telling me about hypnotherapy and everything, and Angela hypnotized me at one of the Global Women events where I met her. We shared a room. I stopped smoking. And I haven't smoked since. I smoked since I was 15, you know, and it's not good for you. But also there was many things that I was underlyingly dealing with in my own mental health that you eradicated. And I am a person now that if that weight gets too high or the balance is not right, I have to walk away, not because I'm angry with you. I walk away because I cannot cope with the negative emotions. I just need to relax, and I generally tend to play your hypnotherapy stuff. Brings me, you know, down to, you know, as you're going down the steps and it takes you back down to recover, to be back as the best person. But again, as you said, no matter if you fall, there is no shame to get up. Like your father was saying, I after the, um, your, um, auntie. How did they react at the funeral, the rest of the family? Were they receiving, or were there people a little bit— No, so they couldn't go there because it was back in Hong Kong. I was the only one sent back, um, yeah, with the what we call a white packet to help the funeral costs. So, um, no, no, I'm sure my dad was for 2 weeks he didn't have much of an appetite and was very upset because he— what he realized from this was that life is too short. Who, who could be next? You know what I'm saying? If sister's gone, who could be next? Who's gonna roll the dice? And, uh, but life is guaranteed, isn't it, that you— we're all gonna die at some point. So, uh, it's a scary matter for him, but he didn't realize is that actually life is more important than than to realize the expectations of living under other people's expectations, what other people think. So, um, yeah, he— I think he's learned his lesson. But the other thing that I've learned greatly is this: where on earth did he keep saying you're not good enough? And I realized what I've done with, um, this hypnotherapy is Rapid Transformational Therapy, um, taught by Marisa Peer. So such an excellent course in hypnotherapy, um, that, um, because it's neurolinguistic, it's, um, the cycle counseling, it's lots of things, all the modalities put together. But during, um, yeah, with, with all this hypnosis, I realized there was something I learned, which was, okay, where did my dad get this information from? Where did these words, this blueprint, come from that 'You are not good enough.' And I realized it was actually from his own dad. His own dad had imprinted this to the rest of the family, especially my dad, as a young boy. And he carried these words throughout his life. So he pushed himself very hard as well, to work hard, to be better. But then that blueprint carried on in his words to us as well. And I realized that, oh my gosh, maybe he didn't mean it all this time as much as the words felt. It was just an imprint. He was suffering himself. Yes, yes, post-traumatic stress syndrome, um, that had been— and we have to be careful what you know, you're getting these traumas and what he was doing. It started off as acute, it went to chronic, and actually became complex. Because when you do that, and the rejection that he's done for you— but the difference being that, um, you know, love will always win. Yeah, yeah. But you know, Lady, hurt people hurt people. They don't know any better sometimes. And, um, they they didn't know they were hurt. Yeah, I'm sure he— no, no parent is born to hurt their child. I don't believe, you know, I don't think they naturally do that. But, Angela, we are coming towards the end of the show now. Um, may I ask, can you leave how people can contact you? Yes, so, um, I'm on my email. I'm, I'm still very traditional with the way that I'm working, so I'm on email. As Angela Sung, that's Sugar, double O-N-G, triple 8, at gmail.com. I'm also happy to leave my number so that please contact me via message or WhatsApp because I'm very busy on 07833 291552. So it's 07833 291552 and leave a message behind and I'll also get back to anybody. But please contact me regards to, um, property, uh, hypnotherapy, Rapid Transformational Therapy. And if you want your life changing, then, um, this is exactly what it can do. It can give you what you want. But the first thing about giving— getting what you want is that you're not receiving what you want because you're not in the right vibrations, and your belief, your root cause, is holding you back. Your pictures and the stories that you tell yourself and the words you tell yourself is what becomes fruition. And you need to change those words, change those pictures. And that's what we do in the hypnotherapy, in the RTT. So, um, love to help everyone and, uh, who needs, um, something they want. And that's the end of the show. We will bring Angela back for another show. Thank you very much.