All Things Autism - Tess Eagle Swan, Kratu The Rescue Dog.mp3 ========================================= Speaker 2 00:00 - 00:12 Hello, this is Anna Kennedy. We're talking all things autism. I'm not in Covent Garden today. I'm actually in Uxbridge and the sun is shining and I'm going to be getting a tan through the window. Speaker 2 00:13 - 01:00 These are the signs of the times at the moment, obviously, because of lockdown and the coronavirus. Lots of information on the website as well now with reference to looking after yourself with the coronavirus and I was just looking at Mind website and they've got some fantastic information on there on planning for staying at home or indoors so some of the titles are find the right place to stay, eat well and stay hydrated, keep taking your medication, continue accessing treatment and support if possible, take care of your immediate environment and if you have care needs or provide care or support to someone else. So lots of information on there, hand washing, anxiety, connect with people. Speaker 2 01:00 - 01:47 So check it out, it's on the MIND website. One of our Autism's Got Talent performers, Calvin, he's actually an ambassador for MIND in Dorset, an amazing young man. And what he's doing on Facebook, check him out, Calvin Billington, Glen and basically what he's doing is he's asking for requests, he's learning songs and he's posting them out every day and asking people to donate to Mind in Dorset. As you know it's going to be a difficult time now for charities with reference to fundraising so please think about your local charity if you can afford to give even if it's just a pound every pound helps and if you'd like to support our charity Anna Kennedy Online Speaker 2 01:46 - 02:48 again every pound counts for us. We should have been doing the export which was last week on Saturday but obviously because of the coronavirus we've had to postpone it to hopefully later in the year so but what we are going to be doing is on April the 2nd which is World Autism Awareness Day we're going to have a webinar from 10 30 till two o'clock and it's going to be Paul Isaac one of our autistic trainers, speakers, consultant and blogger and he's also co-authored several books including Life Through the Kaleidoscope and his topic will be autism and mindfulness so check out the charity website lots of information will be on there about the webinar at 10.30 till 2 on the 2nd of April and the website address just to remind you is www.annakennedyonline.com if you want to follow me on social media it's at annakennedy1 on Twitter annakennedyonline on Facebook and Speaker 2 02:48 - 03:37 at annakennedyobe on Instagram and you'll see me there doing my few minutes of dance because that's my little motivator I've always loved dance since I was six years old and I think everyone should do a little bit of dancing or exercise lots of things happening online now so check them out things that suit you and your family and keep moving and keep all the good things going on in your body so my guest today is Tessa Eagle Swan I met Tessa online on Twitter I meet so many people on social media and I've met the best people so Tessa is looking after an amazing, she's the mama, whatever you want to call her, of Kratu and four other dogs. So before I go into any other information about Tessa, I want to welcome you, Tessa. Speaker 2 03:37 - 03:40 Thank you for listening in and coming in on to Skype today. Speaker 1 03:42 - 03:43 Thank you. It's lovely to be here. Speaker 2 03:44 - 03:48 Thank you so much. So tell everyone a little bit about who is Tessa. Speaker 1 03:49 - 04:01 I'm 57. I live in Cambridgeshire. I was born in Hertfordshire. I'm the mother of two children and my mother still lives in Hertfordshire. Speaker 1 04:01 - 04:11 She's 92. I have five dogs. That's about it. I've been involved in dog rescue for the last few years and it's been life changing. Speaker 2 04:11 - 04:27 So five dogs, so that's keeping you busy. Tell me a little bit about if we go back to diagnosis. So you were diagnosed with autism quite late on. So do you want to talk to me a little bit about that, if you don't mind? Speaker 1 04:28 - 04:52 Yes, that's fine. It was suggested by different mental health people because I was diagnosed as having a borderline personality, ADHD, OCD, lots of titles. And it's been suggested for a long time that I was autistic. But I didn't know about being diagnosed until two years ago. Speaker 1 04:52 - 05:26 Actually, it was three years ago, I moved to Newmarket and the mental health team, the psychotherapist I was seeing, he has worked with autistic people and he said to me, I really think you're autistic and you should have a diagnosis. So I got referred to the Bury St Edmunds diagnostic team and we had to wait a year. It was very frustrating, very hard. I couldn't really understand why you had to wait. Speaker 1 05:26 - 05:35 And I used to ring them up a lot and say, well, where am I in the queue? I need to know exactly. And how long is it going to take? And how many more people? Speaker 1 05:35 - 05:43 And how many people do you talk to a week? And I had to know the full facts and figures and just for peace of mind. Speaker 2 05:44 - 05:48 So, had you heard of autism before? Sorry to interrupt there, Tess. Speaker 1 05:48 - 05:59 Yes, I'd heard of it and it was suggested that I was, but I didn't really know anything about it. OK. Did you do any research? No, not really. Speaker 1 06:00 - 06:14 I'd been called so many different things with the mental health system, it was just like, oh that's another one. I was different, so it was just another thing, another reason why I was different to everybody. Speaker 2 06:14 - 06:26 So, people listening in who might think they may be on the autism spectrum, can you talk through what the process was like for you and what happened for you within, was it Cambridge where you got your diagnosis? Speaker 1 06:26 - 06:29 Bury St Edmunds. Oh, Bury St Edmunds, sorry about that. Speaker 2 06:29 - 06:31 Yes, are you fine talking through the process? Speaker 1 06:32 - 06:43 No, that's fine. The form I got sent to fill in absolutely freaked me out. I read it and I thought, oh, I don't do that. No, I don't do this. Speaker 1 06:43 - 07:03 I mean, and I just threw it to one side and thought, well, that's a load of rubbish. I can't do that. And luckily I have a friend who works with autistic children and I rang her and she took her time talking through each question with me. You know, do you copy? Speaker 1 07:03 - 07:16 No, I never copy people. Yes, I do actually. I watch television and I've done this for years and years and years and I copy people's mouth, the way they move their mouth when they say things. I copy a word. Speaker 1 07:17 - 07:35 I copy my sat nav when it says turn left to Doolingham. I will drive along for about 15 minutes saying Doolingham, Doolingham. And I didn't think that I copied, but I do copy all the time. There was rocking. Speaker 1 07:35 - 07:49 I don't rock. And actually, Yes, I do. I rock a lot, but I didn't think I did until I actually thought about it. So that was very hard. Speaker 1 07:49 - 08:10 It would be very easy to read these questions and go, no, I don't do that. I'm very grateful to my friend, Karen, who helped me. I couldn't have done it. And because then they send the form back, they read the form and then they decide if you're going to have an interview or not. Speaker 1 08:10 - 08:30 And they said, yes, they wanted me to go in for an interview. And the diagnostic team, you're interviewed by two people. And that I found quite scary, the thought of that. Um, I did it and I nearly slipped through the net because I'm so good at masking. Speaker 1 08:30 - 08:55 I've learned over the years to mask brilliantly and people just never believe I'm autistic because I can look them in the eye. My masking skills are second to none. And because there were two of them, they actually, they understood and they could see through things and they they gave me my diagnosis. Speaker 2 08:56 - 08:57 So how long was that meeting for? Speaker 1 08:58 - 09:01 That was two, three hours. Speaker 2 09:02 - 09:09 Okay, so did they tell you straight away that you had a diagnosis or did you have to wait? No, you have to wait. Speaker 1 09:10 - 09:18 There's a lot of discussion with them, they have to go through things carefully and discuss things. Speaker 2 09:19 - 09:23 So how long was the wait before? Were you on Tenderhooks or were you not that bothered? Speaker 1 09:24 - 10:16 No, I was absolutely on Tenderhooks because if I wasn't autistic, then all the other things applied and I didn't really want to be all those other things. That makes me feel very emotional because I had so many labels and being called crazy and all sorts of put downs always because I didn't understand a lot of things and also I've always had meltdowns. So yeah, I really didn't want to have all those other labels. Being told I was autistic was amazing because it meant that it wasn't my fault when lots of bad things that have happened to me in my life meant that they happened. Speaker 1 10:16 - 10:30 I was actually taken advantage of and it wasn't my fault because I didn't understand. I've been in a lot of very dangerous situations and I'm really lucky to be alive. Wow. Yeah. Speaker 2 10:31 - 10:34 Did you speak to your mum? Did you tell your mum or your two children? Speaker 1 10:36 - 10:58 They're not interested. What do you mean? My daughter really struggles with it and Yeah, my son, we don't speak, and my mum just says, oh, well, they say you are. So my family are my biggest cause of triggering me to a meltdown. Speaker 1 10:58 - 11:14 It is. My daughter's getting her head around it. And I want a good relationship with her over everything. But communication is very, very hard. Speaker 1 11:15 - 11:25 I don't want to upset her so I put the phone down a lot rather than have arguments and she thinks I'm rude she thinks I'm incredibly rude but I've always been told I'm very rude. Speaker 2 11:27 - 11:31 So do you feel comfortable though that you have got the diagnosis and thought you can move on now? Speaker 1 11:32 - 11:36 Oh absolutely it's been life-changing for me. Speaker 2 11:37 - 11:42 So if you had to give some tips to somebody who's listening in would you recommend that they go for it? Speaker 1 11:43 - 11:57 Yes, and don't give up. Do question things. If it's taking a long time, ask, write in, email, say what's going on. I am somebody who has to know. Speaker 1 11:57 - 12:11 I have to have information to process things in my head. And I just didn't give up because you do need to push people sometimes. It's very easy to get lost in systems. So speak up, speak out. Speaker 1 12:12 - 12:15 and say, you know, I'm still here. Could you let me know what's happening? Speaker 2 12:16 - 12:27 Most definitely. So let's talk a little bit now about the wonderful Kratu who I've met. So talk to me a little bit about how did you meet Kratu and who is Kratu to you? Speaker 1 12:28 - 12:53 Well, I have a wolf dog, but being a slightly different sort of human being, I've got a dog who's got a little bit of wolf in her. And I rescued a dog called Paco who fell in love with Maya and didn't want to know me. So I thought, well, I have room for another puppy. I need a large breed puppy because they do play rough, wolf dogs especially. Speaker 1 12:53 - 13:16 So I asked on social media and every puppy in the world seemed to disappear and I got very frustrated because being on the spectrum when I want it, I want it now. I hate waiting. I'm not very good at being patient. And then one day my friend in Transylvania sent me a photo of this filthy gray puppy, scruffy little thing, and she said, here's your dog. Speaker 1 13:16 - 13:39 And I was, my first thought was, oh, he's gray. Oh, I don't like gray. Gray's a non-color, it's I like color and he's gray, ooh. And the pictures of his mother haunted me because I've never seen such a broken soul and so sad. Speaker 1 13:40 - 13:56 And I actually, went back on impulse and I rescued her at a later day and his brother Rafi who lives with us, another failed foster, but I stopped a puppy production line. That's the best thing I've ever done was rescue that family. Speaker 2 13:56 - 14:07 So why Transylvania? I know your friend obviously lived there, so there must be dogs in UK that you could rescue. Why did you choose to speak to your friend? Speaker 1 14:07 - 14:31 Well, funnily enough, I did try and rescue one in UK and I didn't get on with the people. I was rude, very rude apparently, as usual. Communication problems, I really, I tried to, I wanted a German Shepherd and I did not get on with the German Shepherd charities. I found them very rude and we we couldn't communicate. Speaker 1 14:32 - 14:48 I'd seen two dogs. It was on a Valentine's Day and they were in a terrible state and they broke my heart. So I rang my friend Sophie and said she's a dog trainer in London. Please, please, please, please, please take these dogs and she did. Speaker 1 14:48 - 15:07 She adopted them and she became involved in a charity and I saw Paco. It was a charity. who helped Romanian dogs and that's where I saw Paco. He looked like a little monkey and he was been abandoned at 12 weeks old, so I fell in love with Paco. Speaker 1 15:07 - 15:17 He came and didn't want to know me. Yes, I did try in UK, but like I say, communication problems, it didn't work out. Speaker 2 15:18 - 15:24 So what was the process of bringing the dog over from Transylvania? Was it difficult? Was there lots of paperwork? Speaker 1 15:24 - 15:48 No. They have to be vaccinated. Celia took Kratu and she fostered him until he could travel at 16 weeks and he had all his vaccinations. The problem is with adopting from Romania, there's so much corruption, not all dogs are vaccinated and it's a whole different kettle of fish. Speaker 1 15:49 - 16:01 I knew Celia and I trusted her. I had videos of him every single day. So I would see the video and I would train him via WhatsApp and YouTube and tell her what to do. And I sang him songs as well. Speaker 1 16:01 - 16:02 So he knew my voice. Speaker 2 16:03 - 16:13 Oh, I've never heard of that. That sounds fantastic. So once he came over, what was it like meeting him? Speaker 1 16:13 - 16:19 The honey monster. Oh my God. What had I done? This beast. Speaker 1 16:19 - 16:27 Oh, he was so naughty. He was so funny. Kratu likes to stick his bottom in the air. He does roly polies. Speaker 1 16:27 - 16:40 No, not now. He's too old, but all he, he's always been a clown. He just looked like this huge rabbit that always stuck his bottom in the air, playing with the others. He launched at everything. Speaker 1 16:40 - 16:47 He was horrible to walk. I thought, oh my God, what have I got? What breeds have I got? This is horrendous. Speaker 1 16:48 - 16:57 What have I done? So I went over there to see where he came from. Celia said to me, you know, you can't go to the camp. It's dangerous. Speaker 1 16:57 - 17:01 And I said, well, I don't care. We're going. Come on. She said, I don't know the way. Speaker 1 17:01 - 17:11 I said, yes, you do know the way and you are taking me because I want to see. where he'd come from. And I had this crazy idea that I was going to find his father. Right. Speaker 1 17:12 - 17:20 And I actually think I did because there was a military camp next to the travellers camp. And I'm pretty sure that was that was his father. Speaker 2 17:20 - 17:23 OK, so was it scary? Speaker 1 17:24 - 17:38 No, I'm not scared of travellers and I've been in dangerous situations so many times. It was if I was determined and when I have that impulse and the determination to do it, I've got blinkers on. That's it. Speaker 2 17:38 - 17:40 So is Kratu now? Speaker 1 17:41 - 17:42 He's six. Speaker 2 17:42 - 17:59 OK. Tell me a little bit about what it means for you to have Kratu now. So obviously, I've met you and I've met Kratu and I can see your relationship. But for people listening in, give them a picture of what he means to you and your other dogs. Speaker 1 18:00 - 18:14 Well, I've always been isolated because I've never fitted in. I've struggled with friendships. I've been a recluse for a long time. Social situations just don't work for me. Speaker 1 18:14 - 18:49 So having somebody, well, having Kratu by my side, he understands me and I understand him. And I call it the superpowers of being autistic. I can communicate with animals and I'm very good at understanding energy, I can see things other people can't. I love being in nature, trees and plants and stones and I've ended up doing different healing methods because of it, because it's natural to me and it's something that I just know instinctively. Speaker 2 18:49 - 18:52 Talk to me about healing methods, I'm interested. Speaker 1 18:53 - 19:13 With energy, I like working with stones. They're great healers and plants and nature. It's lots of things. I was in the jungle for a little while and studied with plant teachers, drinking ayahuasca, which is not an enlightenment. Speaker 1 19:13 - 19:23 Don't go out and do it. You've got to find yourself. And that's the only way you find yourself is going inside. Nobody can tell you anything. Speaker 1 19:23 - 19:33 Nobody can show you anything. You just need to be still and really go into your heart. And that's what Kratu taught me to do. I had a choice with him. Speaker 1 19:33 - 19:59 It was very difficult either to go the distance and work with love and commitment for what I'd done, which I did. And then we came through the honey monster. We came through the terrible teens and he turned into my assistant's dog because he did do a lot of obedience. And our energy changed from chaos. Speaker 1 19:59 - 20:08 It suddenly became harmonious. And that was it. Nothing was going to stop us then. He started passing exams. Speaker 1 20:08 - 20:30 He passed his do-as-I-do, which is a training method from an Italian scientist called Claudia Fugazza, and he copies me on cue. He does it. I explain everything to him. He's got an amazing vocabulary, so I can get him to do tricks by telling him what I want, showing him what I want, and then if he wants to do it, he does it. Speaker 1 20:30 - 20:41 that he understands very quickly. So again, that's working energetically. Our level of our bond is incredible. I've seen that. Speaker 1 20:41 - 20:52 I've seen it. It's just amazing. I've thought about a trick and I was sitting on the sofa and he was sitting across the room watching me. I stood up and he did the trick. Speaker 1 20:52 - 21:02 Wow. I know, that amazed me. He obviously read something. He read something energetically that I must have given off a signal. Speaker 1 21:02 - 21:08 Now, I don't think he read my mind, but he did read my body. And that's how strong our communication is. Speaker 2 21:09 - 21:16 Can I ask you, with the coronavirus, how has that impacted on your life and on Kratu's life and your other dogs? Speaker 1 21:17 - 21:25 What, my normal reclusive life? Yeah. Welcome to my world, everybody. Stay at home. Speaker 1 21:28 - 21:47 Nothing is different. Actually, I'm really happy and I am in the garden with the dogs off social media. I have built a special place for them for training. We study. Speaker 1 21:47 - 22:03 Yeah, we do something called free work from Sarah Fisher at Tilly Farm. It's absolutely amazing. And there's all different surfaces and environments so they can explore. It's like an adventure playground for them. Speaker 1 22:03 - 22:17 And you put treats down. It's fantastic mental stimulation. My friend Sally Marchant has got a company called Naturally Happy Dogs. And she's got videos of training. Speaker 1 22:17 - 22:25 We've done a lot of her trick training classes. It's all online. She's on YouTube. But do look her up. Speaker 1 22:25 - 22:37 She hasn't finished uploading everything. But when she does, she's got amazing tricks. And this is the sort of thing you need to do with your dog. You can't go out that much. Speaker 1 22:37 - 22:51 So take the mental stimulation up. Teach your dog something. It's so important and actually it gives you a chance to bond with your dog as well. Keep it short, keep it simple. Speaker 1 22:51 - 23:07 Dogs are like children, short attention span. And that actually reminds me of training Kratu. I don't know who had more meltdowns, him or me, but both of us used to get the huff puff and steam off in a temper. I mean, it was quite something, actually. Speaker 1 23:08 - 23:19 He'd go down one end of the garden, I'd go in and, you know, both of us are like, I don't want to work with you ever again. You're awful. Yeah. But saying that, he's just come in. Speaker 2 23:19 - 23:23 I was just going to say, did he help you calm down? Speaker 1 23:24 - 23:29 Yes. Oh, gosh, yes. He looks at me. It is just a look. Speaker 1 23:29 - 23:41 And when he looks at me in my eyes, it's brings tears to my eyes. He sees right into my soul and it makes me cry just thinking about it. Speaker 2 23:42 - 23:52 Oh, he was one of our consultants. She has a dog called Oscar and she said she's he's obviously her best friend and he just lays across and helps her calm down. Speaker 1 23:53 - 24:16 Yeah, Kratos trained specifically to do things. He'll put his paw on my foot, that's one of the tasks. His favorite thing to do is turn around and sit on me. He will do that, but he, when I'm at my worst, he will just look into my eyes and it's unbelievable. Speaker 1 24:16 - 24:21 Such wisdom and kindness and that stops me in my tracks. Speaker 2 24:22 - 24:23 Such a special dog. Speaker 1 24:23 - 24:49 Yes, and his brother actually, who has PTSD, he's much bigger than Kratu. Raffy has terrible fear issues. Before we got the mum to safety, she was beaten with a stick and Raffy saw it. So he has PTSD and if he hears the freezer make a different noise, Raffy, all 50 kg of him, shakes like a jelly and he comes charging over and lands on my lap. Speaker 1 24:51 - 25:17 But he's the one, if I curl up in a ball on the floor and I'm really in a bad way, Raffy comes along and he pokes his nose under my arm into the middle of my curled upness and he throws me up in the air. Now I defy anyone to stay down when your dog's throwing you up in the air and I end up laughing. They make me laugh, it's really funny, I have to laugh. Speaker 2 25:18 - 25:35 So if someone's listening in and they have an autistic son or daughter or they may be an autistic adult, what tips would you have for people who will be looking for a dog? How much commitment do you have to give and any tips, any links that you can share that people can check out? Speaker 1 25:37 - 25:52 Yes, I will think of some links but you've got to be really careful with what type of dog. I wouldn't suggest rescuing a dog and expecting a rescue dog to fit in and help. Kratu is a rescue dog. He's a one-off. Speaker 1 25:52 - 26:12 He was taken at five weeks old. It's a combination of he's got an incredible character, his early socialization and a hell of a lot of training. A Romanian shepherd, normally they will only guard, so he's a one-off. He's in fact the only one I know of in the world that does what he does. Speaker 1 26:13 - 26:30 You've got to do your research. Find a breed of dog that's going to have the right character for what you want. and easier to train as well. So I think Labradors are used quite a lot. Speaker 1 26:30 - 26:48 You've got to find what's going to suit you. And then, you know, get some help. Find somebody who can understand the right puppy because not all puppies are going to be suitable. And you have to put a lot of effort in with the socializing, with the training. Speaker 1 26:48 - 26:55 And, you know, hopefully you get the right dog because you need that bond. That's so important. Speaker 2 26:55 - 27:10 Most definitely. Can I talk to you about Crofts? So if people have been watching Crofts the last few years, they probably recognise the name Kratu. Tell me a little bit about the process. Speaker 2 27:10 - 27:16 Why did you decide to go into Crofts and exactly what was the first time like? Speaker 1 27:18 - 27:33 Well, I rescued Kratu, then Rafi came. And I had, I had three great big males, all of them teenagers. And I just thought this is too much. I can't keep these dogs, but I have to keep the dogs because they're my dogs. Speaker 1 27:33 - 27:51 So I went to Wood Green, they do, they do behavioral help. And we started training. And we wanted to have well behaved dogs inside and outside the home. Then they suggested I go to dog shows for socializing. Speaker 1 27:51 - 28:02 So I did, and I started winning everything. So they said to me, Would you like to be in our agility team? And I said, I don't know anything about agility. And they said, That's OK. Speaker 1 28:02 - 28:19 We just want somebody who can do a basic course. to show that a rescue dog and their family can have fun. So I said, yeah, okay. And being me, I became obsessed with it and had to learn from good people. Speaker 1 28:20 - 28:40 But this was all done via friends and in Messenger sending me videos. He could do a reasonable course and we went. The first time we went was four years ago. Yeah, it was, he did quite a good course and it was fun. Speaker 1 28:40 - 28:55 I forgot who I was. I don't know who I am and where I am when I'm in the middle of that arena. Sensory overload is huge, huge. I just, I'm not sure. Speaker 1 28:55 - 29:23 It's like time stops and I don't know where I am. And then I come to and it's like, oh, okay, we're done. I'm not really sure what happens and I think Kratos learned to take over in that time. We came back the second year and the video of my face, my mouth is in an O of astonishment because he went into the tunnel and he disappeared. Speaker 1 29:24 - 30:06 He did this signature move, he turned around and came out the other end. I just, my face always gets me, the sheer astonishment, I had no idea. I think that he made a decision, we're very similar, we're cut from the same cloth, Kratos and I, and I just think he was having fun, he made a decision, it was an impulsive moment, either to do what he wanted and He loves the atmosphere, the crowds, the audience, and he wanted to play. Speaker 1 30:06 - 30:16 He wanted to have fun. And that overtook his training to finish the course. That went out of the window, and fun won. Speaker 2 30:16 - 30:40 I remember reading an article, I've actually got it in front of me, saying Croft, Kratu, Crown, Top Dog for Paws in Palace Party. So they say in the unlikely agility staff cross for the last two years, Kratu may not have been in the running for any rosettes, but his underdog performance in the ring and cheeky character certainly won the hearts of fans from all over the world. Can you remember that? Speaker 1 30:41 - 30:57 There's been so many. Do you know Kratu has gone viral around the world three times? He's been on the news in New York, in Sydney, so many different countries. He's made the headlines. Speaker 1 30:57 - 31:11 He's been on news stations, in newspapers. He's been on all the top media platforms. He's been in the papers. It's unbelievable how he's travelled around the world. Speaker 1 31:11 - 31:27 So how does that make you feel? I find it so hard to believe. It's so hard to believe that my little Grady Wooster is known by so many people. It makes... Speaker 1 31:28 - 32:06 I'm so happy because if his mum knew, she would be so proud of him. So for that, that makes me emotional because it's always been just coming from where he came from with such a terrible, terrible start in life. And he's so lucky because most of them didn't make it. And his mum, so broken and full of despair, for him to have done what he's done, she will be so incredibly proud. Speaker 2 32:07 - 32:13 So is it expensive to go to these competitions and what sort of food? Speaker 1 32:14 - 32:31 No, we're invited, so it doesn't cost anything. It's by invitation. And we did the last one this year because I wrote to them and said he's actually retired. And I said, could he come in and do a retirement performance? Speaker 1 32:31 - 32:44 And they said, yes, there was another dog. He was doing his last run too. And then 20 minutes before we were supposed to go on, they said he wasn't going on last. He was going on second to last. Speaker 1 32:44 - 32:50 And I had a really bad meltdown. I said, you know, please don't do this. Actually, I swore quite a lot. I was fuming. Speaker 1 32:52 - 33:09 I don't quite know why they did that. But then they realized that I was really not coping. And they said, OK, he can go on last. I am going to say that I don't understand why the commentators didn't know who he was. Speaker 1 33:10 - 33:20 That hurt me a lot. And really, really, that's an insult. It's the biggest dog show in the world. Why didn't they know who he was? Speaker 1 33:20 - 33:29 But there is something going on, which is why he was moved from... Anyway, it's... I don't... How many dogs actually go to Crofts, do you know? Speaker 1 33:31 - 33:41 No. A thousand, maybe. Oh, is it? There's a sort of entry criteria then for everything apart from rescue dog agility and for scruff. Speaker 1 33:41 - 33:55 He was in the semifinals at scruff. It's the cross breeds. But again, I don't understand that one. Yes, it's there's a lot of politics in the dog show world, which I don't understand. Speaker 1 33:55 - 34:06 So Kratu did the performance of a lifetime. He absolutely stole the show. He's got far more hits than the best in show. He's gone viral around the world. Speaker 1 34:06 - 34:20 This is the biggest time. And yeah, people haven't heard the last of Kratu. We're writing a book. I was just going to ask you. Speaker 1 34:21 - 34:37 Kratu and I, because he's part of it. I channel Kratu. So Crater and I are writing a book, which will be very interesting. It's incredible how he's changed my life. Speaker 1 34:37 - 35:12 From somebody who didn't want to be here and who lived in a very dark, bleak world, just overcast, everything was black and grey and raining and awful, this burst of sunshine and rainbow came into my life, landed on me, jumped all over me and said, come on, we're going off, we're going to live life and absolutely transformed my life. I'm so incredibly grateful to him. He is hard work though. Speaker 1 35:12 - 35:15 He's not easy. Speaker 2 35:15 - 35:17 Have you got a title for your book yet? Speaker 1 35:18 - 35:43 I want to call it the Kintsugi dog. Kintsugi is a Japanese art of restoration. It's a philosophy that when something's broken, porcelain, pottery, that you repair it with glue with gold in it and it becomes more beautiful than it was before. I like that. Speaker 1 35:44 - 35:54 Yes, it's about resilience, making it more resilient and more beautiful. And blessed are the cracked for they let in the light. I think Groucho Marx said that. Speaker 2 35:55 - 36:08 OK, so if you don't mind, can you talk to me about sensory overload and anxiety? Yeah. When you first met Kratu, that he had anxiety or was he? Speaker 1 36:09 - 36:10 No, not really. Speaker 2 36:10 - 36:24 OK. So if you don't mind, obviously, people listening in, you were diagnosed late in life. You don't mind talking about sensory overloads and anxiety. And you've also mentioned to me before about eating disorder and intrusive thoughts. Speaker 1 36:25 - 36:52 Well, the eating disorder is interesting because I've always said that I throw up when I feel full. I hate feeling full. And I've always been told it's a load of rubbish and it's all emotional. Well, I don't agree because I know what triggers me and I've worked through, I've done a lot of self-work and it's always family and communication. Speaker 1 36:52 - 37:34 If I'm not understood, I get very, very frustrated and I turn it inwards and I'll binge and throw up, but I don't want to do that anymore. See again, knowing that I'm autistic, I know I can work things out and So I know if I'm upset or if I've been misunderstood or somebody's offended by me, normally that would result in a binge, but now I'm actually not going to do it. I'm not taking it on board and I can get through it and over it. What I don't like is if I, I have IBS and I have to be careful because some foods make me very bloated and I just cannot stand that feeling. Speaker 2 37:34 - 37:42 I hate it. Yes, and I like to eat little and often. I hate that full feeling. I just don't like it. Speaker 2 37:42 - 37:50 The only time I'm full is on Christmas Day. And I just think, oh, why do I do this? I just really don't like that feeling. Speaker 1 37:51 - 38:04 Well, my daughter once told me she had a food baby. And I said, what's that? She said, oh, I've eaten so much I'd have to lie down and go to sleep. And I was shocked, absolutely appalled. Speaker 1 38:04 - 38:17 That to me is torture. How could you do that? That just, I can't, well, I can't imagine that, but it just sounds so wrong that just thought of it. My stomach's very claustrophobic. Speaker 1 38:18 - 38:20 I don't, don't like that thought at all. Speaker 2 38:21 - 38:27 So talk to me about sensory overload. What thought things gives you a feeling of sensory overload? Speaker 1 38:27 - 38:41 Noise. Okay. Bass, when I hear that boom, boom, boom, boom bass noise, I hate it. It's caused lots of problems when I've had neighbors that have played loud music. Speaker 1 38:42 - 39:13 I hate repetitive noises, but then I like some. There's a clock, I don't mind the tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, but then other things, if I'm in bed and I can hear a tap in the kitchen, drip, drip, drip, drip, I can't stand that. But then I had to retrain my brain with my bathroom because I need to have a fan on. It gets a little bit damp where I'm at. Speaker 1 39:14 - 39:21 And I don't like the sound of the fan. And then I had to say, but it's a good noise. It's a good noise. It's taking the water out of the air. Speaker 1 39:22 - 39:27 And I now don't hear the fan anymore. But that was a battle to get through that. Speaker 2 39:27 - 39:55 My son Patrick has a fan on in his bedroom at night time and my son Angelo has a fan on in his bedroom and Angelo's got minimal verbal skills but I don't switch it on on purpose so that he will say, fan on, fan on. So I put the fan on for him but for me, I couldn't think of anything worse than putting the fan on in my bedroom. It's just like, no, don't want to hear that noise. I like it pitch black. Speaker 2 39:55 - 39:59 really quiet, no lights on, that's what happens while asleep. Speaker 1 40:00 - 40:34 Oh that's, I'm like that but again now I don't have any curtains because I'm really into natural light and I've found that that's, I've always had problems sleeping, I really struggle with sleep and I sleep better now that I do the natural light thing and yes you do wake up very early in the morning but energetically that's a really powerful moment to do any meditation and think about things and you get a lot of good energy at that time. Speaker 2 40:35 - 40:49 OK, so you spoke to me as well. I'm sorry, I'm just getting used to doing Skype. I'm not really a Skype person, but obviously because of the coronavirus, we all have to adapt. So you spoke to me as well about intrusive thoughts. Speaker 2 40:49 - 40:52 If you don't mind sharing that, what type of things? Speaker 1 40:52 - 41:03 Oh, they're terrible. They don't stop in my head. Well, I'd say about 90 percent. They're constant. Speaker 1 41:03 - 41:32 So if I decide I'm going to go to a dog show and I start having panic, then I start thinking as I'm driving that lorry's going to hit me, I'm not going to make it. And it just goes on and on and on about everybody's going to die, everybody's going to hurt. And it builds up, it's overwhelming. I can't practice mindfulness and things like that. Speaker 1 41:32 - 41:40 It doesn't work. I can't empty my head. I can't do meditations. Being in nature works for me. Speaker 1 41:41 - 42:01 You know, sitting next to a tree with my back up against a tree and just releasing everything into the earth, that works. Walking with my dogs, touching my dogs, stroking them, that works for me. And doing these challenges, making myself get in the car and get somewhere and fighting through them. They're not going to win. Speaker 1 42:01 - 42:13 These things aren't going to happen. And then I arrive and I'm so relieved. I have huge panic about arriving somewhere. And I don't know why that is, but I hate walking into a restaurant. Speaker 1 42:14 - 42:25 I hate turning up anywhere. I have this Very strange fear of I'm going to be lost. I'm not going to find it. But obviously I do. Speaker 1 42:25 - 42:45 And I do walk through doors into restaurants and I do get to the show. And I've overcome that fear, which I have to face fears and keep going because otherwise it's all consuming. I could find it very easy never to walk through the front door. Sometimes my dogs don't get a walk. Speaker 1 42:46 - 43:09 They get walked most of the time, but not always. If I'm having a really bad day where I don't want to see people, I don't want to interact with people, I don't want to be anywhere near people, I have pushed myself in times like that. And there's always been a horrible interaction. And I just rush home thinking, God, why didn't I listen to myself? Speaker 1 43:09 - 43:24 Some days it's better just not to go through that door, but you can't let that take over. So I do have to push myself on other days and say, no, that's it. Their welfare comes first. We're going for a walk. Speaker 1 43:24 - 43:31 And then the endorphin kicks in, serotonin kicks in, and you actually feel better for doing it. Speaker 2 43:31 - 43:43 I think the thing is, a lot of it, and I say that to my son Patrick as well, it's the build-up to it. So if the build-up is worse than the actual being there and doing it, and then you think, oh, what was I worried about? Speaker 1 43:44 - 43:47 Yes, the build-up is hard for me. Very, very hard. Speaker 2 43:48 - 44:17 Do you mind if we talk about Autism's Got Talent? Because obviously you were our very first animal act on Autumn's Got Talent which was last year. Obviously we've had to delay Autumn's Got Talent this year because of the coronavirus so we're hoping that it's going to be happening later in the year because obviously we announced our performers. We had so many people that had entered and sent in their YouTube links so we're hoping, keeping our fingers crossed, that we're going to be able to do it later on in the year. Speaker 2 44:17 - 44:24 So What was the experience like for you? Because I know everybody loved Kratu and yourself and Polo. Speaker 1 44:25 - 44:35 It was amazing. It was the fear for that was huge. I did a trick routine stupidly with two dogs. Why? Speaker 1 44:35 - 44:42 I thought two dogs was better than one. But hey, that's Tess. Let's not do one dog. Let's do two dogs. Speaker 1 44:43 - 45:00 I have to laugh. crazy. He kept going out and that was fine. So I thought, right, OK, do I need to pull him? Speaker 1 45:00 - 45:14 But like I say, he was he was drinking water and he was actually fine. And then it was very late. Well, for me and for the dog. So Polo had a bit of a meltdown. Speaker 1 45:14 - 45:31 He got the zoomies on stage and he wouldn't stop running about. Kratu totally was just being Kratu. I kept sending him onto the naughty spot and he was walking behind me, if I remember rightly, and making the audience laugh. I mean, it was hilarious. Speaker 1 45:33 - 45:42 They both upstaged me. They didn't do anything. They did a bit of what they were told, but they just made it their own. They had so much fun. Speaker 2 45:42 - 46:02 And that's what the audience loved about it. And obviously all the performers, you know, were coming up to Kratu. So obviously some of them, as you know, kids on the spectrum do have fear of dogs, but it was just it was down to them whether they wanted to go and visit Kratu or not. And then I remember when we did the group photograph on stage, the dogs just flopped. Speaker 1 46:03 - 46:32 And then Katie Price was sitting in the front row with Harvey and I was terrified Krater was going to go and land on him and go and say hello, which he's quite capable of doing. And I decided not to look at the audience and pretend they weren't there, which it was wonderful. And that was really overcoming something huge for me to do that. And I'm so pleased I did. Speaker 1 46:32 - 46:57 I hope other autistic people that have dogs can learn from that, that you can train your dog to do lots of things. And it's such a wonderful feeling to teach, to have the patience, which I struggle with, to keep doing it, see it through, and then your dog's got this wonderful behavior. It's an amazing feeling. Speaker 2 46:57 - 47:02 If people want to check you out, where can they find you on social media? Speaker 1 47:03 - 47:06 KratuTheRescueDog on Facebook. Speaker 2 47:06 - 47:10 Spelt K-R-A-T-U, yeah? Speaker 1 47:11 - 47:18 KratuTheRescueDog at Twitter and KratuTheRescueDog on Instagram. Speaker 2 47:19 - 47:47 Okay so what's going to be happening as well is that Tessa is going to be writing an article and we're going to be posting it on the charity website and she's going to be putting some links on there as well so if anyone's interested please check out the charity website probably be going up at the weekend or the beginning of next week. So, if you're interested, please check out the charity website. Just to remind you, it's www.annakennedyonline.com. Speaker 2 47:48 - 48:06 And again, if you want to follow us on social media, I'm always updating what I'm doing. It's at Anna Kennedy One on Twitter, Anna Kennedy Online on Facebook, at Anna Kennedy OBE on Instagram. So, Tessa, what's the future? What might it hold for you? Speaker 2 48:07 - 48:10 and for all your lovely dogs. Speaker 1 48:10 - 48:22 So we have now gone, we've retired from agility and Kratu's gone into pawlitics. What does that mean? He is politics but with a paw. Okay. Speaker 1 48:22 - 48:32 Yeah he is the canine ambassador for a group called APDAWG. APDAWG. Speaker 2 48:32 - 48:33 Okay. Speaker 1 48:34 - 48:46 and they have groups at Parliament. That's the All Parliamentary Dog Advisory Welfare Group. And that's such an honour for him to be an ambassador for them. They are all about dog welfare. Speaker 1 48:46 - 48:53 Kratu's been to the House of Commons and to Parliament. How was that? Supporting their meeting. Oh, I'm so proud of him. Speaker 1 48:53 - 49:11 He's also been to the European Parliament for a film screening about the stray dogs of Romania. So he's made history. There's, I don't know, any other assistance dog for an autistic person that's achieved what Kratu has achieved. It's absolutely incredible. Speaker 2 49:13 - 49:24 How do you prepare? Like, so say, for example, you're going to a new place, you're going to the House of Commons. Let's say that. How do you prepare yourself and how do you prepare Kratu for the visit? Speaker 2 49:24 - 49:26 What do you do? What's the build up? Speaker 1 49:26 - 49:36 Nothing. I booked the ticket. Once I booked the ticket, it's like, oh my God, oh my God, what have I done? I can't do this. Speaker 1 49:36 - 49:51 And I'm terrified. I leave everything until the last minute, and then I'm always late, and I'm like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. But I get there, and then you see you haven't got any time to think about it. Speaker 1 49:51 - 50:05 So if you try and organize it before, it's too much for me, then it's an overload. I can't cope with that. So if I leave it till the last minute and I have this little game I play, I don't have to do it. I won't do it. Speaker 1 50:06 - 50:09 I don't have to do it. And then, oh my God, look at the time. I'm late. I better get there. Speaker 1 50:09 - 50:34 So I set myself up in a good way that I pretend that I don't have to do it and I'm not really going to do it. And then I rush. And because I'm rushing, I forget until I'm on the journey, but then, you know, it's, it's facing that fear. I love, I love to overcome challenges. Speaker 2 50:35 - 50:41 Can I ask you, before you had Kratu, did you have a dog? I'm just thinking, I was just thinking that when you were... Speaker 1 50:41 - 50:45 I had Maya, the wolf dog. She was, yes, and... Speaker 2 50:45 - 50:47 But as a child, did you have a dog? Speaker 1 50:47 - 50:48 No, we had a cat. Speaker 2 50:49 - 50:49 Ah, okay. Speaker 1 50:50 - 51:20 But the cats didn't last very long in a village because they, they kept getting run over all the time. Yes, it was living in a small village. I had a horse and now that was when I started animal communication. Somebody let me help look after their horses when I was about 10 and they gave me a pony I called Casper and in fact I named my son Casper after my pony. Speaker 1 51:20 - 51:43 And that was, I had this amazing affinity with horses and I could communicate with them. And it was, it was very hard as a child because I was very alone in my own strange world. And then suddenly horses came in and it was like, wow, I can talk to you. Thank goodness. Speaker 1 51:44 - 52:11 And that experience gave me something beautiful to hold on to when things went wrong as a teenager. And that kept me going, that I had known love, I had known something good. I think if that hadn't have happened in my life, I wouldn't have made it. But that was very special to me to have this gift with animals and to hold on to that through dark times. Speaker 2 52:11 - 52:45 I'm a patron to Kilmarnock Horse Rescue, which is in Crawley and Highfield. There's a lovely lady called Carol Jackson who looks after rescued donkeys, ponies, she's got a few goats there, horses obviously. and it's such an amazing place. They've just recently had to move, so it was a bit stressful, but we've had so many special times with some of the families from Autism Support Crawley, which is another charity that I'm patron of, and some of the children there, some of them have never even seen a Speaker 2 52:45 - 52:57 horse or never even touched one. There were such special moments there and things that I won't forget, and obviously families. We go there three times a year. We go at Easter. Speaker 2 52:58 - 53:08 We have a little event there. And then also we go in the summertime and then we go at Christmas with Father Christmas. So I always look forward to those events. But obviously, at the moment now, they're all on hold. Speaker 2 53:09 - 53:28 So we've only got a few minutes left. So is there anything that you would like to share to motivate children and adults who might be thinking of getting either a pet or going through diagnosis, is there any last minute tips that you would want to? Speaker 1 53:28 - 53:50 Do your research on everything, never give up, be prepared for hard work and just keep going. If you believe in something, you can make it happen. So, if you want a diagnosis, you've got to find out where there is a team, you have to get referred. It can be really hard. Speaker 1 53:51 - 53:59 I'm very lucky I was in the right catchment area for the Suffolk, in Suffolk, to get to Bury St Edmunds. Incredibly lucky. Speaker 2 53:59 - 54:02 I have been... Have you talked to any other autistic adults? Speaker 1 54:05 - 54:06 Not really. Speaker 2 54:06 - 54:06 You don't? Speaker 1 54:08 - 54:17 No, I don't talk to many people. Just dogs. Dogs and trees and plants. Do you think you'll ever get another dog? Speaker 1 54:19 - 54:19 Sorry? Speaker 2 54:19 - 54:22 Do you think you might ever get another dog? Speaker 1 54:22 - 54:22 No. Speaker 2 54:22 - 54:23 No. Speaker 1 54:23 - 54:31 No. No, I can't give any more. You have to think of yourself. I couldn't give any more. Speaker 1 54:31 - 54:46 I've got very hard work dogs. They're not for the faint hearted. One's got a bit of wolf and four are Romanian shepherds that are bred to guard flocks against wolves and bears. I mean, I've done things with these dogs that these dogs don't do. Speaker 1 54:46 - 55:24 Three of them have got the Kennel Club Gold Good Citizen Award. It's unheard of for these big shepherds to like people, I could open my door to any stranger, invite them in, and my dogs would really be happy. It's actually quite miraculous what's happened in this house, how we all get on and what we've achieved, because it's certainly unheard of in Romania for dogs to do therapy work. Kratu loves, we see children at the local school once a week, is their therapy dog, He adores children. Speaker 1 55:24 - 55:40 He adores people. And this is just, it just doesn't happen. Nobody knows of this happening anywhere. And my dogs, it's amazing that I'm so reclusive and so wary of people and they love people so much. Speaker 2 55:41 - 56:05 So because this is a show for mental health and wellbeing, what do you do to relax? Because I'm always chatting to people about the importance of relaxation because parents have got children with autism sometimes forget about relaxing or doing things for themselves because they're always so focused on their children or adults. So what do you do to help you relax and recharge your batteries? Speaker 1 56:06 - 56:20 I do some Andean energy work. I clear my energy Everyone has an energy bubble. So you open up the top of the energy bubble and you pull in the light. I use sunlight. Speaker 1 56:21 - 56:46 Clean your energy bubble, open the bottoms of your feet and release any heaviness into the earth and then thank the earth. That's a very, very powerful Andean cleansing. A-N-D-E-A-N. It's from the Keros people in the Andes, and I'll write that in something so people can practice that. Speaker 1 56:47 - 57:17 That is incredible. If you do that, we all pick up heavy energy from everybody. Bumping into people in a supermarket, whether you're angry or depressed, it's heavy energy, and that slows you down, and that makes people sad and unhappy and you need to clear that and I do this energy work. Standing out in the sunshine and just you can just swallow a mouthful of sunshine and send it everywhere in your body. Speaker 1 57:17 - 57:43 Work with the light, work with the beauty of nature, listen to birds singing, just little things and being still. So important to be still and sit out in nature, let the wind just blow away anything that shouldn't be there. This is what I do. And that restores me back to harmony, which I have to have. Speaker 1 57:43 - 57:44 I need that. Speaker 2 57:44 - 57:49 I like that. A mouthful of sunshine. Swallow a mouthful of sunshine. I've never heard that before. Speaker 2 57:49 - 57:51 I really like that saying. It's stuck with me now. Speaker 1 57:52 - 57:58 Oh, did you know that's an ancient energy art? Eating sunshine. It's really powerful. Speaker 2 57:58 - 58:02 I've never heard of that before. So you just basically open your mouth. Speaker 1 58:03 - 58:09 Yeah swallow it, swallow a mouthful of sunshine and send it anywhere you need. Speaker 2 58:10 - 58:30 Okay I will, I'm going to have a go at that because it's actually a sunny day today so once I've finished this call when I go out to my car I'm going to have a go at that. So any any tips for people obviously worrying about the coronavirus so basically obviously staying is a big one, wash your hands is another one, Speaker 1 58:31 - 58:46 You can't change anything at the moment. You can wash your hands all you like, but then you're going to touch something that's contaminated. I'm carrying on as normal. I'm always mucky because of the dogs and being in the garden. Speaker 1 58:46 - 59:12 That I'm not worried about because we can't do anything. We can be responsible for ourselves, not for other people, sadly, and it's what other people are doing that's very dangerous right now. So always make sure that you do the best you can. I'm staying in and making sure my dogs are happy by focusing on their welfare. Speaker 1 59:12 - 59:21 I had really five tired, happy dogs last night, and that made me incredibly happy. And I feel really positive. Speaker 2 59:21 - 59:41 But on that note of positivity, I just want to say thank you so much for taking the time out for talking. to me and talking about your life and about all the fantastic things that you've been doing with Kratu. I wish you all the best in the world and I want you to stay safe and I want a copy of that book. Speaker 1 59:41 - 59:46 Oh you've got one, you've got one. Thank you, it's been an absolute pleasure. Speaker 2 59:46 - 1:00:00 Thank you and thank you to everybody who's been listening in. Check out the charity website for the article that Tessa is going to write for us and it's www.annakennedyonline.com. Thank you again Tessa.