[Speaker 1] (0:00 – 4:09)
Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re talking all things autism. We’re live. We’re in Covent Garden and it’s a chilly morning.

I didn’t expect it to be this chilly this morning, but winter is coming, I’m afraid. So last week Angelo was on half term holiday. So we had lots of walks.

We went into cafes. We had cheese toasties. We had sausage sandwiches.

I had half pieces of lemon drizzle cake because Angelo ate the other half, but you know, we had a good time. So Angelo’s back at college yesterday and I’m back doing the radio today. So my guest today is Melanie Timberlake.

And she is a mum to two amazing boys, Cameron and Ewan. She’s a full time school sport coach and a volunteer inclusive martial arts coach and pan disability football coach. She coaches many children with autism, but covers all disabilities.

She’s the UK disability coach of the year 2018 books and Milton Keynes community coach 2018 and features in the Luca said movers list 2019. Welcome Melanie. Hello.

What is the Luca said movers list? Did you have to do a dance or something? So the Luca said movers list is they have selected 50 people in the whole of the United Kingdom who are making a movement in sport in their local community to get more people active.

And I feature on that list of 50 people. Wow. Well done to you.

So tell me before we go into anything that you do, who is Melanie? Where were you born? Where’d you come from?

I come from Buckinghamshire. I was born in Ellersbury. I still live in Ellersbury.

I have my two boys. What did you do before sport? What did I do before sport?

Before sport, I started my career in business and administration, working in offices. Right. I then had both my boys.

And when they grew up, I decided I didn’t want to go back to sitting behind a desk. OK. I’d always done sport from a very, very young age and had to give it up because I had problems with my knees.

OK. Never thought I’d ever get back into it. My ambition when I was doing my GCSEs was to be a PE teacher.

Never got there. But I had my boys, two young boys, very active, very hyperpia, spent a lot of time out and about, not sat at home. And I thought I cannot go back to sitting behind a desk.

OK. So you became a sports coach. I became a sports coach because, well, for two reasons.

The first reason, we tried mainstream football clubs with my son, Cameron, who’s on the autistic spectrum. OK. And he struggled to find one where he fit he fitted in.

And it was just by coincidence, the local grassroots football club where I grew up were looking at setting up a disability football team. All right. So we went.

It was set up by these two gentlemen and there was five children, five children there. And I got more and more involved in it, started coaching. And now we’ve gone from five children to almost 30.

See, we have three different age groups. OK. And I manage and coach with some excellent coaches that coach with me all of them on a Saturday morning.

OK, so if people are interested in listening in and might live in your area, where would they find you? So the club that we coach with is Risborough Rangers. OK.

So they’re based in a little village of Risborough. Yeah. And they have a website which is RisboroughRangersJFC.co.uk. OK. We will keep repeating just so one cares people listening and thinking, I wanted to get a pen because I need to check it out. So yeah, so I started football coaching and carried on. And I then had brain surgery myself.

OK. And I had some complications afterwards, which left me with a few minor disabilities myself. OK.

And I needed to do something for my self confidence and my self esteem. So me and my boys, we found out about this organization called Akaido who do inclusive martial arts. OK.

And initially, the three of us went to go and just take part. And we loved it and really built up my self confidence, my self esteem. I suffer from a lifelong mental health condition which has affected me from 15 right up till now.

[Speaker 2] (4:09 – 4:10)
OK.

[Speaker 1] (4:10 – 11:53)
And sport has become my way of dealing with my mental health difficulties. So I was then asked to coach for Akaido because they could see that I kind of got what they would call accessibility. And that’s where it all led from.

And four years later, we’re now here. So why do you think more people with disabilities and in autumn in particular should take part in sport? And I know the answers to that, but I want I want you to share it with everyone.

So my son, obviously, he takes part in my football. He takes part in my martial arts. And the one thing I can say that is truly brought to him.

So he has grown in self confidence. He holds himself a lot taller, a lot prouder. But also, so he suffers from quite severe anxiety.

Right. And it’s it’s there. It’s had that biggest impact of he’s not as anxious.

He’s not as frustrated. He’s getting out. He’s getting about.

He’s enjoying it. But also, it’s about being physically active. See, I’m a fan believe that every child should be out there getting active because the impact it has on your mental well being.

Yeah. Is is is everything. I think it should be for everyone.

Never mind just children, adults. It’s just it’s a good stress buster as well. I think I tried many at 15.

I started having my mental health difficulties. I tried every therapy, every medication, every counseling. I’ve been admitted into mental health hospital.

And the only thing that has really pushed me through is getting back into sport and having that outlet. Yeah. And it’s just it is like a secret tablet.

It’s a secret pill that if you can just get active, just even just one session a week. Yeah. The impact that has on you.

And then it’s the social interaction. A lot of these children that are coming to these sports don’t get that social interaction. So they’re having that chance to engage.

The parents are having a chance to engage. It’s like a little social group for them and a support network for them. So there’s just so much going on in the one session, whatever sport it is, that there’s the support for the parents, the support for the children, the social interaction.

They all meet up outside of what we do as well. And they’re like two different families. And it’s so important that we did a little session that we’re going to be progressing with tennis.

And I saw these little girls like the joy in their face. And I didn’t even think that you could break tennis down into all these different ways of encouraging them to either back the ball or whatever it is that they were doing. And it was just the pure joy in the face of the little girls.

But also of the moms, I was watching them watch their children. And it’s just it’s going to progress from there. So I’m so pleased that we’ve got involved with this particular group and tennis group.

So a lady, a husband and wife, actually. So they are going to be working with us. So we’ll be sharing that on the charity website, which just to remind you with www dot Anna Kennedy online dot com.

So how do you feel? What do you think that sports clubs? I know this is not one of the questions that we were going to discuss.

But it’s just like, how do you think that sports clubs can make these sessions happen? And it’s just I think some of them are a bit worried that, you know, what if they do something wrong and, you know, that type of thing. So what what what type of things do you think that they should be doing?

So I think a lot of sport clubs want to be inclusive. I think they want to open their doors to everybody. You see, I see two sides of it.

So the martial arts I coach is inclusive. So that is anybody with any disability right there in one go. Yeah.

The football I do is pan disability. So that is only people with disabilities. I think isn’t is that people don’t have that confidence.

But if I look at the coaching staff that I have or coaching staff I work with in both those sports, none of them can really come from a sporty background. Right. They all come from that experience of having people at home with disabilities and working in a disability field.

We’ve all had that enjoyment in sport and played it in younger years. Yeah. But it’s having that disability knowledge and experience that makes it a lot easier.

Yeah. Yeah. There’s so many families that contact me through the charity that they’re looking for something out of school clubs.

What can they do during the summer holidays? What can they do during the half term break? Whatever it is that they’re doing.

And there’s not that many places across the country that advertise to say, come along, you know, we’re inclusive. And there probably are some that are hidden away, but they’re not shouting out about it. I also, yeah, I do feel that they are the hardest to find.

You can see all these clubs on billboards and notice boards everywhere for most things. Yeah. But trying to find something that’s maybe disability specific is very hard to find.

Yeah. So it’s trying to pass on that learning to get people talking about what is out there. Yeah.

And that’s how my that my team at the football club has grown. It hasn’t grown by me advertising. It’s grown by word of mouth.

Yeah. That’s how people come to the martial arts. It grows by word of mouth because it’s not the same as in like mainstream where you stick a poster, you get all the inquiries.

People want that recommendation. OK. So if somebody’s looking to find out the type of things that you do, where can they find you?

Do you mind if they contact you on social media? I am contactable on social media. My Twitter is Melanie three three seven eight eight one nine one.

If you want to look at the martial arts, because we do offer the martial arts, not just where I live, but there are clubs all over. OK, it is a Kaido. So it’s I.K.K.A.I.D.O. E.U. Right. And then obviously you can look at whisper ranges on the Internet. But there is if you approach your local FA in regards to football, they will have a list of the pan disability clubs that are in your area. So is there quite a few?

Yeah, because we take part in a thing called the Boppy League, which is Boppy. So it’s Bucks, Oxfordshire and Berkshire Inclusive League. All right.

So it’s a league for pan disability clubs. So and we have almost 50 teams in that. OK.

And that’s only in our area. So is there an age range to start or a limit? So I go from four to 16.

Some people go start at four all the way out to adults. It just depends. Different clubs or two different age groups.

OK, that’s the thing as well. There’s quite a few parents of adults that they said there’s not a lot of stuff out there for adults. So I’m always looking as well.

You know, for my for my youngest son, Angela was quite profoundly affected. I wish I could find like a suitable trampoline club for him because I know I know he would love it. Yeah.

So we start with under eight and then gradually we’ve just built up and up as the numbers as they’ve moved up and got new ones in. OK, so if you’re interested in being one of my speakers on all things autism, please contact me either via the charity website, which is www.anna Kennedy online dot com. You can leave a message on the answering machine, which is zero one eight nine five five four zero one eight seven.

If you want to contact me via social media, you can contact me via Twitter, which is at Anna Kennedy one. Or you can contact me on the Facebook page, which is Anna Kennedy online, which is our charity. If you want to contact me on Instagram, it’s at Anna Kennedy OBE.

So lots of different points of contact. If you want to ask me a question, if you want to be a speaker on our show. If you want to share ideas, please contact me.

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[Speaker 2] (11:53 – 11:59)
Hello and welcome to Future Classic Women Awards with me, Stepania Passamante on Women’s Radio Station.

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Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re at Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing and we’re talking all things autism. Women, the possibilities are endless.

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[Speaker 1] (14:33 – 21:31)
That’s women’s radio STN or Facebook Women’s Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programmes. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re talking all things autism. We’re live, we’re in Covent Garden and my guest today is Melanie Timberlake.

Before I go over to Melanie, just wanted to let you know that we’re doing our first session at Watford Football Club. So excited about that. As soon as we put out there that, you know, does anybody like to come along with family, siblings, have a little walk around, go into the sensory room, experience the autism reality experience?

We were inundated and we’ve got a long waiting list. So we are going to be doing it again in April. So what’s going to be happening is we’ve got families, two sessions, one at 11, one at 12.30, where they can have a walk around Watford Football Stadium, have a go in the actual sensory room itself, which was obviously the idea came from a family that have a child on the autism spectrum. And then they can go on the autism reality experience, which we have been working with them since probably three years now. And just some of the feedback of people using the autism reality experience. Sensory bus is the actual reality experience part is a huge eye opener into what it’s like to be autistic.

I came away thinking my little boy is pretty amazing dude. If you’re interested in having the autism reality experience come to your school, your workplace, we took it to Heathrow Airport and please contact training to care. And the telephone number, if you have a pen handy is 01376 573 999.

Just repeat that again for you 01376 573 999. So as I said, my guest today is Melanie. Welcome Melanie again and thank you for coming to join me today.

So can we talk a little bit about how can coaching be more accessible? We’ve talked about how can sports be more accessible. So what about coaching?

What do you need to do? What’s different? What do you do different than a regular group?

So some of the things we use are quite basic. So like many children with or without disabilities do not know their left from their right. So what we do is we give them a blue and a red wristband.

So any instruction we give is based on the colour. And we wear a pair but we wear a pair in reverse. And they can just literally copy by using literally those wristbands.

And that takes up quite a big hurdle because that is one of the… So it’s a lot of copy and paste, copy and paste, particularly in the martial arts. I think as a coach you need to understand the children you have.

I’m quite lucky because with my children I have that bit more of an understanding maybe than somebody who coaches who doesn’t or have a child with a disability. You don’t need to know everything about them. But you just need to know what triggers they may have and what they do struggle with.

And then you get down into the more technical side of using the step modifications. So is it a case of you need to adapt the space, the task, the equipment or the people? And all of those can be changed.

So if you wanted to play a game but you had somebody in a wheelchair who needed everything moved up, how would you do that so that they could still take part? So that’s what your step modifications are. And then you have the inclusion spectrum which is one of my favourite tools.

Because I tend to only use one corner of it and that’s what they call a parallel activity. So if I have a new child, come to one of my sessions, either one. I do with them what I call an open activity.

Now that open activity is my way of assessing that child’s ability but without having to ask those really intrusive questions. So it’ll be like a really basic game. And I’ll be looking at how they’re throwing, they’re catching, they’re running, if they’re pulling themselves away, if they’re going for big balls, little balls.

What they’re actually doing to give me an indication of what this child likes, what it doesn’t like and how much knowledge of sport they have, how active they’re being and not being. So they’re my two secret tools that I use. So how long does it take to assess a child to see where they are at?

And obviously I’d imagine it depends on their ability, it depends on their age range. It’s very hard because with my martial arts I have this lovely girl who doesn’t speak at all. She has autism, she doesn’t speak.

But with those wristbands, she takes part, she engages, she follows. And she was quite easy to sort of reach out to just by putting on those simple wristbands. But then I have children like my son, who I think is learning nothing the whole session.

And then we get to a grading and he’ll just be able to do it just like that. And I’m thinking, but I’ve not actually seen you do it before. Oh, okay.

So do you teach your own sons and do they take notice of you? I teach both my sons in both the sports, unfortunately, yeah. They do take notes of me.

It can be a bit heated on the sidelines at football matches, but no. So I think it depends on how much you put in of what you will get back out. All right then.

So I suppose it evolves as well from session to session. It does evolve. And obviously a lot of these children, their disabilities are changing.

Yeah. Particularly with the ASD one, they come in one week, something’s worrying them. They come in two months later and something’s changed.

Well, we’re just talking about that, weren’t we? Oh. So yeah, I totally get what you’re saying there.

So obviously you’re a busy lady. So how do you manage your own child’s disabilities, your own difficulties that you’ve got, and coaching commitments? So I work as well.

I work full-time. Which is coaching. I coach at a school.

The reason I got into coaching, the main biggest reason was when Cameron couldn’t find a football team that suited him. He got quite withdrawn. And I’ve always said to him, just because he has autism doesn’t mean he can’t do whatever his friends are doing.

I just said he just needs to be taught a little bit differently. That’s all. Everybody just needs sometimes things explained in a different way to the next person.

And that’s been my drive, is to show both my boys that you can do anything. And for them to see me out and doing what I’m doing, to see me working, everything else. I can see they’re proud of me, and that’s the biggest thing.

That’s the biggest thing, I think, because I’m a single mum, so it’s just me and the two boys. But I can see they’re proud, and they support me. When I say I’m going to be late or I’m going…

They don’t make me feel guilty. But like half term now, we’ve got time together. That’s when it’s more special.

So that’s our time. Oh, that’s nice. Because they’re out shopping at the minute.

[Speaker 2] (21:31 – 21:31)
They are.

[Speaker 1] (21:34 – 33:04)
Yeah, with money and God knows what they’re going to buy. So my son Patrick, when he was younger, he used to find pee and things like that quite difficult. And the reason being is he didn’t like to take his shoes and socks off in the hall because he found that sensory part of it quite difficult.

And then when he actually made the move to, let’s say, play football, that was… He was excited about it, but then he was also even more excited when he scored a goal, but it was in the wrong goal. And so the kids obviously had a go at him, and that just put him right off, and he just didn’t basically do it ever again.

So that’s a shame. It’s because obviously the teachers at that time didn’t know he had a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome. So part of me thinks that’s a shame.

That happened then because you never know what it might have evolved into. Unfortunately, yeah. If these children at this young age have a negative experience, that’s what stops them from taking part in sport later on.

So the big foundation of what we do is fun. If that child is having fun and they’re smiling, then that positive experience of sport is going to stay with them and go into adulthood. And hopefully, even if it’s just they’re playing squash once a week as an adult, the impact that will have on their wellbeing is so immense.

So what do you get out of coaching? So you’ve talked a little bit about it, but what do you actually get out of it? Is there a specific story you spoke about this young girl that has the band?

Is there another story that makes you think I’m doing this because of these type of things that are happening? I’m mainly doing it because I know that if I didn’t do it, a lot of these children wouldn’t be taken part in any sport. They would be sat at home, sat in front of a games console, completely nicely isolated.

And so last weekend we had a football tournament. It was the first time we took it under 12s and then 16s, so it was a big group first one. And I came away from that day so proud.

They didn’t win a single game because they were all in like, they’re all quite young into the age group bracket. But the parents were all sat in the middle socializing. The kids, when they’re not playing matches, are all off playing football, talking to each other, chasing each other.

And us coaches are there in the centre of it. But it’s just that, it’s creating that support for those parents and they can lean on each other to get those children actually out and about enjoying each other socializing. But also they’re enjoying playing sport.

There was no tears or frustration because they’d lost or anything. They were just happy just to be out there kicking a ball and doing what all their peers at school do every single day. That’s another thing that I remember as well, with a lot of families I’ve sported to, some of our children find it difficult when they lose.

Have you had any experiences of that? Yes, yes. And how do you tackle it?

So obviously as the children get older, they get that competitive streak comes in, which isn’t helped. I find it worse, it’s going to sound terrible, with children that attend a mainstream school because obviously you’ve got those pressures at the mainstream school and they want to fit in as well. I don’t know how many times a week I must say to all the children, we’re having fun, if you enjoy it, just enjoy it.

That’s what I want you to do. But we have tears, we have stops. Normally I have my son throw something at me if he’s missed a goal or not scored a goal.

And it’s just calling them back in and saying, we’re here to have fun. I think they think they’re billed somehow. They do, because he was getting so frustrated because he couldn’t get the ball in the back of the neck.

And I was like, but it doesn’t matter. You’re out here playing football, which wouldn’t be a possibility if there weren’t clubs like this. And you’ve just got to enjoy it.

I said, have fun. It dawns on them eventually. But they’ve been quite lucky because they’ve had some nice successes with football teams.

So they’ve won the local league and they’ve won the county card. Oh, that’s good. But then obviously then we get the low of when they don’t win.

But it’s all about the parents support them. We support them. They support each other.

And it’s, once again, that supportive, safe environment. And they get on with it. So can I just ask about costs as well?

Because there’s a lot of families that are obviously one-parent families or they’re on benefits, because obviously some of their kids are not at school. What’s the cost like for doing something like this? It’s not too bad.

So the football is like £65 for the whole year. Oh, for a year. For a year.

Oh, that’s good. And we always talk to families if they are struggling to make it more accessible. And the martial arts is £16 for the whole month.

And you get your outfit, you get your gradings. Everything is included in that price. Okay, so can you just remind us again?

If they want to find you, where can they find you? So you can find us on the internet, ikido.eu, which is I-K-K-A-I-D-O.eu. Yeah. And RisborrangesJFC.co.uk. Okay, what we will be doing is, Melanie would be writing an article and those links will be on the article. And I’ll be sharing it on the charity website just to remind you www.annaKennedyOnline.com. If you want to message us or you want to ask Melanie a question, you can send it through the charity website and I will pass it to Melanie. Welcome to the Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing.

Women’s Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education, and most importantly, women’s wellbeing. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website, www.womensradiosation.com for more information. I’m Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and EnRage. When it comes to money, do you climb up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement?

You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don’t know where to start. At empowerandenrich.org, you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me at empowerandenrich.org and let’s change your future together. Hello, my name is Natasha Ann Kelleher. Welcome to you lovely lady listeners of your very own Women’s Radio Station.

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We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you’re thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit www.TurnToUs.org.uk Welcome to the Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing. Women’s Radio Station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities including individual programs. We can tailor your experience for you. For more information on how you can sponsor a show, go to www.Women’sRadioStation.com Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy. We’re talking all things autism. We’re live, we’re in Covent Garden and my guest today is Melanie Timberlake.

Before I go back over to Melanie, I just wanted to share with you that it’s anti-bullying week which will be coming up in November. We have released our Give Us a Break anti-bullying spectrum rap by a father and son rap duo. They call themselves FM Gage Plus 12.

They are our Autism’s Got Talent performers. They’ve been with us for about three years now performing either on the main show or on the road show. So Callum is 36.

Sorry, wrong way around. Matthew is 36 and Callum is 16. And they have written a powerful rap like it’s really, really, I’m just so proud of it.

What happens is every year we’ve been doing Give Us a Break campaign probably for about six years now and we started off with the Anti-Bullying Alliance. I was working with the NSPCC and we’ve kept the strap line Give Us a Break and basically I give it projects to our Autism’s Got Talent performers. So we’ve had a video that talks about bullying that went viral.

That was Ryan, one of our patrons. We have had a Macaulay, another one of my ambassadors who wrote a song called Hollow, what it made him feel like when he was bullied. We had a young man last year called Patrick who did a cartoony version of Talking About Give Us a Break and this year we thought we’ll think out the box and we’ll do something different and we’ll have a rap.

So if you want to check it out, it’s on the charity website. It’s all over my social media. It’s fantastic.

I’m just really proud of these guys. It took them two months to put together. They’re a bit of perfectionists, the pair of them but they’ve come up with something really powerful.

Okay, Melanie, thank you again for coming to chat to me. We’re talking about autism and sport. If you don’t mind, can we just go back to diagnosis?

I’m always interested to find out in the areas where people live how long it takes to get a diagnosis for autism. So what was it like for your boys? Boy, boys.

Cameron was born in 2006, in January 2006. When he was about a year and a half, he started to cover his ears quite a lot and he wasn’t speaking. He was fully physically active.

He could climb and do all the physical stuff but there was no noises. He used to hate noise. He also just…

They told me he was a content baby because he never cried, he never made any noise. And I was like, okay. But at 16 months I began to push it with my health visitor and my GP who said they weren’t sure.

And thankfully at the time we had an organisation working with us called Parents as First Teachers which came from our local school. And they’re an organisation that look at the development of your children. And I sort of said to her that I had my concerns and she said, oh, she wasn’t in that professional capacity to say anything but she would pass on the information that she had on to my son’s health visitor.

So he was two in the January and in the April… So he was, so say, two and a half. He had received his diagnosis from a community nutrition.

[Speaker 2] (33:04 – 33:05)
So quite quickly then. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] (33:06 – 39:01)
We were very lucky. From that diagnosis he was able to go to an amazing preschool near us called the Puzzle Centre. Oh, hello, I’m Ambassador.

Yeah, so he went out to the Puzzle Centre. He went there for a term solely at the Puzzle Centre and then the rest of his time at the Puzzle Centre but a mainstream preschool at the same time. And I fully believe if it wasn’t him going to the Puzzle Centre at that time he would not be in mainstream school now because we were so lucky to get that diagnosis so young and to get that support so young he’s able to sort of grow and grow and grow as he’s got older and older.

Yeah, I’ve been invited to the Puzzle Centre at the beginning of next year because Alex, who’s been there for about 18 years, the head teacher is retiring and so they’ve got a new CEO so they’re doing a double celebration. So they’ve invited me. So I’m looking forward to visiting to see all the new things that they’ve been doing there.

So it is fantastic and they never know how to pronounce it. CERT’s training, S-C-E-R-T-S, training there and they offer it for teachers who might be interested. So what’s the diagnosis process like now with all the cuts?

I find it really hard now because I have a few friends that are trying to get diagnosis for their children. I also have a lot of parents approach me saying that they’re in the diagnosis process for their children. Could they still come to these disability sessions even though they don’t have a diagnosis?

And I would never turn anybody away. But I have many friends whose children are now coming up to seven and are still stuck in that process that was maybe sort of started two, three years ago. We are very lucky by getting that place at Puzzle.

Puzzle actually got my son his statement which has stayed with him now. He’s 13 now. He still has that E-H-C-P now.

But these parents, even when they do finally get an appointment, they’re being told they’ve got to wait a year, another two years to see if there is a diagnosis there. Although some of them are being told, oh, we think this is this. But let’s wait and see.

Let’s wait another couple of years. And then the longer they’re doing that, it’s putting the chance for these schools and the parents to put in the E-H-C-P plans. And some of these children are getting to nine, ten years old and there’s nothing in place.

And that’s in Buckinghamshire. Yeah. So let’s talk about autism and sport again and disability and sport.

So what would you like to see happen to enable more people with an autism spectrum condition engage in sport? I would like to see more inclusive training, some more training given to coaches. I would like sports clubs and stuff to look at where they’re recruiting their coaches from.

There’s no point in recruiting a coach that’s a level three football coach to come and do grassroots football with a disability team. As I said previously, some of my coaches have worked at MacIntyre. Most of them have disabilities themselves.

So they have that experience, that knowledge. And that is worth more than their sporting ability. I would like to see, I just want to see whether it’s children with or without disabilities, more children getting active, more children taken away from that screen time.

I know how much of an impact it can have on their wellbeing, on their self confidence, their self esteem, their self worth, on their social skills and my interaction skills. And every child should be able to experience that. So I want to see more clubs, more sports getting accessible.

It’s like, which we’ll talk about later, I live in Buckingham, Milton Keynes. I’m very close with the Council Sports Partnership. And he was saying to me, what’s next for you?

And I said, I don’t necessarily want to grow the groups I’ve got, but what I would like to do is find other local sports impacts that want to open that disability-inclusive side and work with them to make more sports. Not the same sport all the time, but actually more sports, more inclusive. So if you’ve got a coach that’s listening in and they think I might like to work with children or adults that are on the spectrum or have got a disability, where would they go for their extra training?

Okay, so there’s lots of organisations out there that do it. If it’s martial arts based, actually Akkaido themselves do inclusive training. There’s the Activity Alliance, who do an inclusive thing.

UK Coaching do a disability course as well. So the FA do a coaching disabled footballers course. There is actually lots of them out there.

But once again, it’s something you have to dig for. And how long would it take to become, so say if you wanted to do a football one, how long does it take to get a qualification out of it? One day?

The coaching disabled football course is one day. It’s an okay course. She says through grit of teeth.

Smiling. But there’s other ones like, so the one which we as Akkaido do, so we do an inclusive martial arts. That could be any martial arts.

So it doesn’t have to be karate, which is what we teach. And that is actually, it’s a weekend, then a month’s break, then a weekend, then a month’s break. And during that month, you have coursework too.

We actually do an assessment at the end of it. You have a big portfolio to fill out. That sounds a little bit more intuitive.

And the thing is, it’s not something you can rush. Yeah. Because you can go, someone could come and do that Akkaido one, they could do the FA one, they could do all these, do these other ones.

But unless they can change their mindset, it’s not going to work. And the thing is, all the kids are so different from each other.

[Speaker 2] (39:01 – 39:01)
Exactly.

[Speaker 1] (39:02 – 40:10)
You’ve worked with one child. You know that child. You don’t know everything that there is.

So that’s obviously the difficult part of it, if you like, because all the children are so different from each other. It’s like people say to me, oh, you’re a specialist. I said, the only thing I’m a specialist in is my son.

I am his specialist because I know all his quirks, his little bits and everything else. I don’t know all these children I coach. I know that you learn about them as in the sessions.

We were chatting as well beforehand. I like to have a coffee with my guests. So I get to know a little bit more about them, about a sports day.

So particularly for kids who’ve got a disability. So you were talking to me about that they do, is it a Mandeville? So it’s a Mandeville stadium, which is operated by Wheel Power.

They do like an accessible, I don’t know exactly what they call it, but they want, for the day they put on all the wheelchair sort of sports that they do. So you have bokeh, you have wheelchair, you have rugby, wheelchair, basketball. And then people can just come into that event and just try those different sports.

So you do table tennis. So it’s like tester sessions. So it’s like come in and try and see whether you do it, which is great.

[Speaker 2] (40:12 – 40:13)
But it’s free.

[Speaker 1] (40:14 – 42:39)
But you need to be able to sign post people afterwards where to go, because it’s great hosting these events. But then they’ll think, I want to do a bit more, so where do I go? Yeah, I have some children, I love that, I love that, I love that.

But where’s my nearest club? Oh, it’s miles away. So you have to be sort of careful about which ones you pick.

And if you go to them, just bear in mind that if your child does fall in love with a sport, it might not be local to you. Okay, that’s true. So tell me what you can see in 10 years’ time.

If you had a magic wand and I said to you, here you go, Melanie, what would you like to see in 10 years’ time? I would like to see all sports be inclusive. So as I said to you, the martial arts coach is inclusive.

So when the children line up in front of me, I can have a wheelchair user, a mainstream child, someone with ASD, someone with cerebral palsy, someone with missing an amputee, they can all be lined up. And we will do that, all of us will do the same session. Now when it gets to football, the children with disabilities are still segregated in a way.

So they’re separate sessions and I would love the FA to sort of open it up a little bit so that you can have these children with disabilities playing in mainstream football. Now it does happen, but you’ve got to be of that highest level. I was just actually looking at a video at three o’clock this morning because my son was awake, a young girl with Down Syndrome, that basically they said that she would never be able to achieve anything and she achieved like levels with mainstream doing gymnastics and she was amazing.

So that was like really uplifting for me. We’re going to talk a little bit more about this. We’ve got the last session now.

I can’t believe how time flies. So just to remind people if they’re interested, where can they find you on social media? So I’m on Twitter at Melanie33788191.

Okay, so if you want to ask Melanie a question, you can contact her on Twitter again. If you haven’t quite got that down, you can contact me via the charity website and I can pass the message on www.annaKennedyonline.com. Welcome to Women’s Radio Station.

I’m Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons Live on Women’s Radio Station.

[Speaker 2] (42:39 – 42:44)
Hello and welcome to Future Classic Women Awards with me, Stepania Passamonde on Women’s Radio Station.

[Speaker 1] (42:44 – 44:28)
Hello and welcome to June May is Listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re at Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing and we’re talking all things autism. Women, the possibilities are endless.

That’s what makes us different. Hi, I’m Lauren Mishcon. I’m a birth doula and mum of three and I’m passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experiences.

Please join me for my brand new show from Tummy to Mummy here on Women’s Radio Station. Every week I’ll be here with an expert guest talking about women’s reproductive health, everything fertility, pregnancy, birth and baby related right through to the menopause and beyond. Please join us for an informative and fun hour.

Hello, my name is Ingrid Marsh on Women’s Radio Station and coming soon is the Radical Wellbeing Show. To help support women’s wellbeing, each show I share the airwaves with all know women like me and you doing extraordinary things. Women who have overcome huge obstacles in their lives who are now here with me to empower you.

On the Radical Wellbeing Show, you’ll be inspired to kick away the roadblocks and live your life to the fullest. If you’re ready to get radical about your wellbeing, then this is the show for you. Hi, I’m Hazel Butterfield, a blogger, book lover and mental health advocate and you can listen to my show, Get Booked, here at Women’s Radio Station, daily at 5am and 5pm.

Throughout my shows we’ll talk about the books I’ve read, new releases, chapter authors, publishers and book enthusiasts, all with a theme and aim of supporting women’s emotional wellbeing. If you have a book to tell us about, get in touch at presenters at womensradiostation.com.

[Speaker 2] (44:28 – 45:01)
Join me on my show and share my love of books and writing. Hi, I’m Valentina Barbachi, and I’m the executive director of Media Matters for Women. We’re a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo.

And we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth and mobile phones, focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website at mediamattersforwomen.org.

[Speaker 1] (45:04 – 54:53)
You’re listening to Women’s Radio Station, supporting women’s wellbeing. Women’s Radio Station’s creating a global network for the empowerment of women, and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter, at Women’s Radio Station, that’s Women’s Radio STN, or Facebook Women’s Radio Station, to keep up to date with all our exciting programmes.

Hello, this is Anna Kennedy, we’re talking all things autism, and we’re live, we’re in Covent Garden. And just before I go over to my guest Melanie, I just want to remind you of the Autism Hero Awards, and Melanie is actually one of our finalists for the Community Hero. So if you’re interested in coming along, we still have tickets available.

Please check out the Autism Hero Awards, and you can see everybody’s name who’s a finalist. The judges had such a tough time to choose finalists for three for each particular section. We have 12 different nominations for people to nominate, and then I have two that I choose myself.

I’m so glad that I didn’t have to choose people for the actual categories themselves, but I get to choose the Charity Hero Award, as in from our charity, and also people who I feel have gone the extra mile, so one particular person which we announced on the night. So it’s www.autismheroawards.com. It’s at the Chelsea Harbour Hotel, which is in Chelsea.

The doors open at 6 o’clock. It’s a three-course meal with a welcome drink, and we have Daniel, one of our ambassadors, who’s going to be singing for us on the night. We’ve got Pineapple Performing Arts Studio Dancers, which is some of our scholarship winners.

They’re going to be performing as well. So it’s just such a lovely evening, a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, and then you can let your hair down at the end, and dance the night away. So, Melanie, I’ll be seeing you in a couple of weeks’ time in your poshfrock.

Oh, yeah, another poshfrock, yes. So we’ve just been chatting about things that you’re going to be doing, or things that you have done, let’s say, in the past 12 months. So if you’d like to share with our listeners what you’ve been doing.

So the past 12 months have been a little bit surreal. My boys have been on an incredible high. They have loved the journey.

I, myself, have been a little bit dumbstruck by all. So this time last year, I found out I was shortlisted for the Buckinghamshire and Milton Keynes Community Coach of the Year. I went to a lovely awards ceremony, and I won.

Way! And I was in complete and utter shock. I then, about a week later, found out I was nominated for the UK coaching, Disability Coach of the Year for the whole of United Kingdom.

And once again, another new frock for all. And went to the awards ceremony. Yeah.

And I came away with the award for that category as well. Oh, wow. You can see you’re so passionate about what you do.

I can just tell it with what you’re doing. You’re just like living and being sport. Which was quite surreal.

That followed a massive PR. And then afterwards, talking to lots of different radios, TV, local press, national press, BBC. And it was great, and I loved it.

But I think the biggest thing was, in May, I got invited to Buckingham Palace for the Queen’s Tea Party. Oh, yeah. And I remember just opening the letter, and my eldest son, Cameron, came in and he said, What’s that moment?

I’ve been invited to Buckingham Palace. And it was just his face. And he just sat there and he skipped around the living room and went, You’re going to Buckingham Palace.

But as a guest, not as a tourist. As a guest, you’re going to the Queen. And just to see both my children react to what they had seen I was getting the recognition for was the biggest thing.

Because I could see with them, it was almost inspiring them. And they sort of, they’ve grown up with mummy doing this, kit bags, they’ve got footballs everywhere, the house being in chaos because there’s sports equipment everywhere. But they were beginning to see, hang on, mummy is doing something.

Yeah, and hard work, Peter. Yeah, and they were seeing the trophies and everything else. And they absolutely loved it.

And then next came the Lucas Aid Movers list. I had an amazing time filming with Mental Health First Aid England. So they’re launching a Mental Health First Aid course in sport.

Oh, OK, that’s good. So I spent a lot of time filming for that qualification because I shared my journey with my mental health. So I’ve done so much stuff that I wouldn’t have met people I wouldn’t have normally had a chance to meet.

And it’s been amazing. And I love it. But I do what I do for my own reasons.

I don’t do it for the praise or the gratitude. I love that it’s inspiring my kids. I love that they can see something from it and it’s not, oh, God, mum, you’re going out again.

Oh, God, mum, you’re doing this again. I can see that they can see it’s worthwhile as well. So yeah, for me, it’s like, obviously, when you get awards, it’s fantastic and you’re honored and all the rest of it.

But for me, it’s like, it’s like opens another door to like another opportunity, you know, that maybe that you might have had to bang the door down. But now it’s like they’re giving you the key. And it’s just like, oh, thanks.

That’s a bit easier for me to raise more awareness or acceptance or whatever it is where you’re walking down the path at that moment in time. So what would you say to a parent who’s listening in now? Obviously parents that are listening in and they think they might like to get their child involved in sport, but they’re a bit worried about it.

And what advice would you give them? I get lots of messages from parents sort of inquiring about sessions, but you can see how nervous they are. You can see they’re probably more anxious than the child.

And sometimes they’re the ones that are holding back. It’s particularly when it comes to martial arts, they’re thinking, oh my God, I don’t want my child to learn how to kick. It’s like, actually you’ll find that they won’t do it at home.

They actually will have that sort of strength in them to actually, I do this at training. The biggest thing you can do, and I say this to anyone, is go down and see. Go down, watch a session, see how your child interacts with that session, see what the parents are doing that are there.

See if they’re all sat there silent or whether they’re interacting with each other. But you can feel it better than you can sense it over the phone talking to somebody. Now, I know how long it can take some children with disabilities to settle in.

So when it comes to the football, I will say, come for a month, see how they get on. If after a month I don’t think they’re settling in, I’ll give them a bit longer. I won’t force anybody to sign up until they know that their child 100% wants to do it.

And also, I think just take that step because you’ll be quite surprised at how much they can actually do. If they’re given the opportunity. If you sort of open that door for them.

Yeah, and I think what some parents are worried about is because obviously they’ve had past experiences where things might not have worked out or children might have been bullied so they want to protect them. And I totally get that. But you can’t wrap them up in cotton wool for the rest of their life.

And that’s what I say to my son Patrick as well that, you know, I’ve tried to keep pushing him. We were just chatting about it now, about the next step for him for moving out. And that’s just like huge for him.

And it’s almost like, am I trying to get rid of him? But it’s like, he’s got to be able to learn to stand on his own two feet. And he’s getting there, but it just needs a little bit of help along the way and encouragement and reassurance.

You gradually sort of have to unwrap those layers of bubble wrap. Now, I will put my hand up first and say I’ve wrapped both my boys up in really tight bubble wrap, particularly being a single mum as well. But over the years, I’ve learned, I’ve just got to let it go a little bit, and then a little bit more, and a little bit more.

And eventually they do flourish, they do bloom. And I understand as a mum, it’s harder on you. But once you see them out there smiling, laughing, enjoying themselves, they will, it’s such a reward in itself just to see that and know that you’ve sort of opened that door for them.

And also the other thing is they’re so in touch with the way you feel, they can pick up quickly. So if you’re anxious, they will pick that up. Because I know even like, I’ve mentioned this quite a few times, like even though Angelo hasn’t got the verbal skills, if I’m not feeling particularly well, or I’m not feeling so good, he’ll come up to me and just throw up the side of my face.

And that’s his way of saying, are you all right mum? And Patrick then might say to me, are you all right mum? Are you all right mum?

Because they get anxious because you’re not well, because you’ve been the person that’s been there for them all the time. So it is tough, but you just have to try and let go a little bit of a time and then they will make some mistakes, but then they’ll hopefully learn from those mistakes. So let’s talk a little bit about, and I know this is gonna be a difficult one for you, what do you do to relax, since it’s like a show about supporting women’s wellbeing?

And I know this is tough, so come on, tell me what you do. It’s tough because the enjoyment I get through coaching sport, that is what keeps my wellbeing done. Being active is what keeps my wellbeing in check.

I enjoy spending time with my boys, I spend time with my family, I spend time with my friends. I like to read, I will read books.

[Speaker 2] (54:53 – 54:53)
There you go.

[Speaker 1] (54:53 – 59:52)
But having the time to get through one can be quite hard. What kind of books do you like to read? Don’t tell me it’s not sport.

No, it’s not actually. I read anything, my favourite author is, I can’t remember his name now, Tony Parsons. Oh okay.

But no, it’s just having that time just to be me, because I wear so many different hats throughout the week, that sometimes it’s just nice to sit there with a blanket on the sofa, Netflix or TV on, and just sat there and just, I’m not mum, I’m not coach, I’m not this, I’m just me, sat there. I’ve just sort of got into Netflix for a little while now, because people used to go about Netflix, Netflix, I was thinking, why don’t they keep going on about Netflix? I’m not addicted to it now.

So my husband and I, what we do is we watch series of things, so we’re in the middle of Sons of Anarchy at the minute, it’s really good. So every night we put one episode on while we’re having our tea or whatever it is that we’re doing, and that’s our couple time if you like. So that’s about it really, but that’s, you know, I sort of get why people get addicted, and I’ve heard of people watching things back to back and a whole series of, like you’re not looking at me now, so that’ll be you.

So people are watching Game of Thrones or something. Oh no, it’s not Game of Thrones. I’ve never seen that, people keep saying to me, you’ve got to watch it, you’ve got to watch it.

So anyway, I just want to say thanks very much for coming along to chat to me. Thank you for having me. Thank you for talking to me about autism and sport.

So again, just to remind people, if they want to find you, where can they find you? They can find me on Twitter at Melanie33788191. What’s that number about?

I think there were so many Melanies on Twitter that that’s what it generated for me. I thought it was like a special cord or something. No, no.

And again, what was the… So if you want to know about martial arts, it’s ikido.eu, so it’s I-K-K-A-I-D-O.E-U. And then the football is rizbarange is jfc.co.uk. Okay, thank you so much. And again, if you want to ask questions and you want to go through the charity website, it’s www.annikennedyonline.com. Or you can leave a message on our answering machine, which is 01895-540-187. Just to remind you as well, we’re still looking for auditions for Autism’s Got Talent.

The closing date is December 31st for our main show next year, which is going to be in June next year, not May. So there’ll be information on the charity website. We’ve got our Autism Expo that’s coming up in March.

So we’re going to be sharing more information about that very soon. And also just to remind you that the Pantomime at Towngate Theatre, the Autism Friendly, which is Dick Whittington, is on 9th of December, and that’s been going now for a few years. So I’ll be going along to that to watch it.

It’s such a fantastic Pantomime. So again, thank you so much to Melanie. She’s going to be writing an article that I will be putting.

Yeah, she’s looking at me thinking, am I? Yes, you are. And you’re going to be writing it, and it’s going to be on our charity website so you can read all about Melanie.

Thank you, everyone, and have a good week. Welcome to the Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing. Women’s Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education, and most importantly, women’s wellbeing.

We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website, womensradiostation.com for more information. I’m Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower & Enrage.

When it comes to money, do you climb up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money, or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone.

Many women want to be smarter with their cash but just don’t know where to start. At empowerandenrich.org, you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me at empowerandenrich.org and let’s change your future together. Hello, my name is Natasha Ann Callaha. Welcome to you lovely lady listeners of your very own women’s radio station. Over the coming months, I’ll be doing a survey in big brand coffee shops interviewing customers asking why they like to drink coffee and if they would like to give us a health tip for our listeners.

The most shared and liked post will be the winner of a prize. Stay tuned for further details. Hi, I’m Carolyn Van Biers.

Please join me for a brand new show here on women’s radio station. It’s Mother’s Hour. If, like me, you’re a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them, this is definitely the show for you.

We’ll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together. With spoonfuls of advice, incredible stories, it will be refreshing, honest, and funny look at being a mum.