[Speaker 1] (0:00 – 13:30)
Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re talking all things autism. We’re live and we’re in Covent Garden and it’s a humid afternoon. I’ve been busy as always and still people are talking about autism’s got talents in Ives.

And what we’re doing at the moment is we’re preparing for autism’s got talent in Ricelet, which is going to be happening in October. So what we’re doing is we’re looking for potential performers. So whether you’re a singer, whether you’re a dancer, whether a comedian, whether you’re a magician, whatever it is that you do.

And you’d like to showcase your talent on stage, please get in contact. And it’s www.AnnaKennedyOnline.com. My guest today is Juliana Wieter and Juliana.

Long time no see. It’s been a whole week Anna. So I just want to say thank you so much for supporting autism’s got talent in St Ives.

As I said, people are still talking about it and we’ve got so many performers that want to perform in Ricelet. Because they’ve had such a positive experience, they just want to come back and experience it all again. How was it for you?

Honestly, for the rest of my life, I will never forget that night. It was just so impactful, so powerful and so emotional. My handkerchief was like I’d left it out in the rain.

I just didn’t stop. It was just proves everything we’re all talking about that there are so many amazing abilities. It’s different abilities and no one should be heading by a label.

So it was absolutely inspirational for me. Oh, thank you so much. It’s just that you can just see the friendships that I made at the event at the time families.

One young man was crying actually when we were having breakfast the next morning. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay because he’d had such a lovely experience.

So those are the moments that you cherish and you know that you’re on the right track. And the people who I met there, and I must say, it was always an adult who had believed in that child, whether it was a music teacher for the first act, chatted with him or a parent. You know, it just really moved me how much difference it can make if just one adult believes in a child.

So, Juliana, tell me about you. Who is Juliana? Oh gosh, who is Juliana?

Where do I start? Most importantly, I’m a mum to four children. I mean, I’m also an author and a therapist and I work with children with autism, but all of that was born through my own journey, particularly with my second son, Oliver, who’s on the autism spectrum.

And so I combined all my kind of life cards, if you like, all my previous skills to try and help him when he hit his darkest times. And never in a million years did I dream that Ollie’s life and those heartbreaking lows would bring us both. So many blessings and so much to bring to other families like us.

So how old is Ollie? He’s now 21. Okay, and he’s got three other brothers or sisters.

So what are they like together? They’re good together? They are unbelievable together.

There’s just this understanding that’s been there from day one. And when all my love and attention would have to be naturally focused on Ollie trying to support him through mainstream, they would just step back and not even question it. And I think I was saying to you earlier, out of everything, that is the bit that sometimes really gets me, is just how generous hearted they are.

Because I never made a separate autistic world for Ollie because I always knew, you know, one day I won’t be around and he needs to go out there and cope. So that’s how we did it as a family. I’m not saying that’s how everyone should do it, but that’s what worked for us.

So I’m just reading that you’re an author, you’re an award-winning therapist, a teacher, an advocate, a public speaker and a fundraiser. So tell me a little bit about the award-winning therapy that you do. That’s a massage which I adapted because my son Oliver hit a really, really low point in his life and he picked up additional mental health issues.

And he’s given me permission to share with you that that included being tested for psychosis at one point when his English was removed from him purely because he has autism. I was told he would never achieve, he’d never be able to even have a bite at the higher paper. So what do you mean his English was removed from him?

It was his gift. He was a gifted and talented at his middle school because we have a three-tier system where we are. And when he moved to the next level up, the next college, which I’ve never named because I’ve never wanted to localise a national problem, it would be spiteful.

He plummeted. They wouldn’t budge. The funding that I fought hard to get for him to access the papers in a different way was legally spent elsewhere.

So no one did anything illegal apparently, but it’s just not very ethical. So he plummeted. He was just thrown into bottom sets with no warning purely because he’s got autism and that was the reason I was given and I was told to accept he would never achieve.

I’ve heard that so many times, especially children that are coming to our school, at Hlingdon Manor School, that teachers, in my opinion, should no longer be teachers. That say that the children never amount to anything. They’ll never ever get a GCSE.

It’s just like negative, negative, negative. And I thought teachers were about inspiration, about inspiring our young people to live their dreams. Well Oliver, I mean he actually was winning awards for his writing and at the middle school he was really grown.

But when I went to see the head of English, which I thought was a private meeting, there were eight people in that room and the head of English who had no training whatsoever in autism was the one who told me that you need to just accept your son will never achieve. Oh my word. He was then being tested for psychosis.

He tried to take his own life. It was awful. They wanted to put him on Prozac and that was when I stepped in with my previous training as a therapist because Oliver was in bits.

I was terrified we were going to lose him. It was that bad. What’s so frustrating is that we’re supposed to take advice from professionals but then in the end there’s just something, our gut feeling that we just think, no, no, I’m not going to listen to what you’re saying.

I know my son. I know him best. I know everything that I could possibly know about him and I just think that we just take the reins, don’t we?

Yes, we do. Let’s go with it one day at a time and let’s just see what we can do. Well, I sent his work off to authors because I hit a brick wall for the first time ever in Olly’s school career.

So I hit the brick wall and I sent all his work off to authors, every author, every entrepreneur, everybody I could get hold of and to this day I have two bulging box files full of their replies to him. I had a postcard from Michael Morpogo saying his poetry made Michael and his wife cry and my letter to him made him and his wife cry. Tim Smith, John Armstrong, the Irish poet, so many people wrote to Olly and Michael Morpogo actually said to Olly on a postcard at 12 years old, which is how old Olly was then, I was not writing like you.

You are a writer already, don’t let school define you and Olly would keep that laminated in his bag. So when he went through horrific bullying or a really tough day at school, he would get that out, go somewhere private and read that and keep going and I’d take him to literary festivals to read his poetry out. So do you don’t mind, you spoke to me about a book that you have there, would you mind reading a poem now to finish off our first quarter?

This is what he’s written recently. So what’s the book called? The book is called Wings and it’s actually an anthology of poems about me as Olly’s mum because life at home wasn’t safe for us in the whole time Olly was growing up.

And it’s about how when my ex-husband discovered I was writing my book, I remember you telling me about this. So it’s called Under the Wheels. The night you left the white horse pub with father, he pushed you through the car door, heft up inches from the asphalt and the road darting away like a massive tarmac arrow.

You were flightless as you scoot your knees and laddered your tights on the road. He dangles you by a string of air. He says you’re having an affair.

The recoiling ferns and gridded oaks bows at the wayside put their ears to your complaints. Let me go, let me go. Then a tough wind blew up a sail of your dress and you could feel the cold in your bones.

You tried to kiss the unbearable gravel like it was holy soil. Father rose over you with gritted teeth, roaring at you. Ravine V-line veins set the tension in his forehead as he bent his face to yours.

You will never forget that night or that look in his eyes. That’s amazing. What a talent your son has.

I would get that poem and stick it up. The teacher’s northern said that he hasn’t got a talent. That’s why I never named the school because this is a national problem.

It’s not a local spiteful revenge. If you want revenge, look where my son is now and the hope he brings to people. And maybe that journey was meant to happen.

I don’t know if your son would be happy but maybe we could share one of his poems. I’ve shared it on air but I’d like to share it on Autumn’s Got Talent in the last clip. I don’t know how he’d feel about coming on stage and maybe saying a few words.

It’s down to him. There’s no pressure. I know he would do that Anna.

Oh my gosh. Thank you. That has blown me away, that poem.

It’s just amazing. He’s really got a talent. Obviously people can’t see the front cover of the book which is called Wings.

Can you just describe the picture? It was a picture taken of me on that we had to go through a court process and Oliver took a picture of me in a little black dress with a forget-me-not, which we always had forget-me-nots. The children and I, so we never forgot our songs, never forgot who we were.

And it was taken on the morning of the retrial at Crown Court and Oliver made that photo, black and white, with a peacock butterfly wing coming out of one side and that’s of me. And the book is called Wings. And how many poems is in the book?

So I think there’s about 16 poems in the book. But the first poem anthology he wrote was called Lungs and that was where he never had a voice at school and towards the end of my marriage he would actually physically have his lungs knelt on. So this is our emergence through that.

This is the second book, Wings, as he sees it with me as a pivotal role in that, although it was the five of us together. Do you think writing the poems was therapeutic for him to help him sort of, how can I say, process what happened on the spectrum themselves? Yes, absolutely.

And words have always been his word from day one so it seems only natural really. Well, thank you for sharing that with me and we’re going to talk a little bit more about your son and about all the wonderful work that you’re doing. So if people want to check out, do you have a website that they can look at?

Yes, I do. It’s www.therapiesforspecialneeds.co.uk So just repeat that again just in case they might have missed it. www.therapiesforspecialneeds.co.uk So if you’d like to get in contact with Juliana, I’m sure she’d be happy to receive your questions or anything that you might like to share with her. And if you’d like to contact me on the charity website, you might be thinking you might like to speak on the radio, you might like to be one of my guests. So it’s www.annaKennedyOnline.com The telephone number of the charity is 01895 540187 I’m on Twitter at AnnaKennedy1 Facebook AnnaKennedyOnline Instagram AnnaKennedyOBE And we’ll be talking further with Juliana in the next few minutes. Welcome to Women’s Radio Station.

I’m Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons Live on Women’s Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Future Classic Women Awards with me, Stephanie Passamante on Women’s Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Juliana is listening.

Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we’re at Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing and we’re talking all things autism. Women, the possibilities are endless. That’s what makes us different.

Hi, I’m Tracy Weeden of Brownhill Insurance Group. We are an award-winning family-run insurance broker covering a wide range of insurance products ranging from commercial lines to personal household, high net worth and fine art. You can contact us on 0208 658 4334 or visit our website www.brownhillgroup.co.uk for your free no obligation quotation. At Brownhills we’ve got you covered. Hi, I’m Lauren Mishcon. I’m a birth doula and mum of three and I’m passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experiences.

Please join me for my brand new show From Tummy to Mummy here on Women’s Radio Station. Every week I’ll be here with an expert guest talking about women’s reproductive health, everything fertility, pregnancy, birth and baby related right through to the menopause and beyond. Please join us for an informative and fun hour.

[Speaker 2] (14:19 – 14:25)
Please join me on my show and share my love of books and writing.

[Speaker 1] (14:27 – 26:26)
Come check out our website at MediaMattersForWomen.org Hello, this is Anna Kennedy. We’re talking all things autism. We’re live, we’re in Covent Garden and my guest today is Juliana Wieta.

Before I go over to Juliana, I just wanted to remind you of our hero awards which will be happening in November at the Chelsea Harbour Hotel. If you’d like to nominate somebody that goes the extra mile, we have 12 categories. There’s so many nominations that are coming in at the moment.

But if you feel you want to nominate someone who’s your hero, somebody that goes the extra mile, it could be a teacher, it could be a teaching assistant, it could be a carer, it could be a young person on the spectrum, it could be a sibling, it could be a reporter that writes particularly well about autism. Please send in all your nominations by September the 5th to www.autismheroawards.com So Juliana, do you mind, we’ll chat a little bit about diagnosis. I’m always interested to talk to parents about how long did it take to diagnose.

When did you first realise that there might be, some might be going through difficulties? Would you mind? No, not at all.

I knew pretty much from day one because I’d already had a child, you know, James, my oldest. I just knew there was something different about Ollie. Not wrong, but different.

Never seen it as wrong. He seemed completely overwhelmed by the whole world from the minute he was born. Noises, sounds, textures.

He wasn’t, he didn’t really speak until he was three. He didn’t laugh until he was nearly four. I still remember the exact moment when he did.

There was just, there were lots of things that were different. You know, I’d always have the house full of children and Ollie would play alongside them rather than with them. He couldn’t role play.

They weren’t the same. He was more kind of in his own little bubble next to people. You know, when he started nursery, it was clear that he really, really was different.

And obviously, because Ollie’s 21, there really wasn’t the understanding then. So I’d pick him up from nursery and I’d be told he’d been sat under a table because he’d been naughty. Was he happy for you to leave him?

No, he was never happy for you to leave him. But you know, I wondered if that was just a phase he was going through because I didn’t know anything about autism. Sounds awful, Anna, but I was learning as my son was growing.

I didn’t even know what it was. This was a whole new world to me. And at that time, it was quite a frightening word.

It was when we actually, I actually got Ollie’s diagnosis after a lot of fighting when he was nine, even through the GP, wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t, you know, he knew best. We actually left that surgery because I would get absolutely nowhere. There was absolutely zero understanding.

He wasn’t hearing what I was saying. And in the end, through a new doctor, I pushed and pushed and pushed, and we went to see a pediatrician at the Musgrove Hospital. And Ollie, after a series of visits, was then diagnosed.

And I remember when I got the letter, and I feel ashamed of this now, but I’m just being honest as a mum. I remember I got the letter with Ollie’s diagnosis, and I just broke down. I thought, my God, it’s the A word.

I don’t even know what this is. I just have heard it’s something awful. And I was with my ex-husband at the time, and I remember he said, well, you’ve got to sort this out by the time I’m back.

And he disappeared to Indonesia for five weeks. Oh, wow. Actually, I don’t want to sort it out because I think Ollie’s absolutely perfect as he is, you know, and he has other parts of his brain that sees things differently.

And as you’ve just heard, he channels that in such a different and unique way. And it’s just finding, as I always call it, it’s finding someone’s song. It’s finding what they’re good at and channeling it and believing in it.

We’ve all got different gifts. We’ve all got strengths and challenges, whoever we are, and anybody who’s not supported then picks up mental health, you know. But because Ollie was that awful term, high functioning, you know, because he wasn’t acting out in class, he would literally go under the radar and drown every school day and then come back.

And that’s when we get the meltdowns. I think it’s a safe place to be. And they were horrific, heartbreaking meltdowns.

I can’t even, it was our blackest, blackest times. And we’d moved to Exmoor, so I was isolated from my family. And I really was very, very much on my own with it.

And they weren’t the support groups. There was one which I went to and I only went to twice and left because it was so full of negatives. And they were all talking about their children as being disabled.

And I thought, well, my son isn’t. He’s just different. I never had that negative perspective.

So how was secondary school for him and exam time and all that? Did he manage to cope? Did he get any support?

His middle school, they were fantastic. And they would allow me to go in and just as a tip to parents, if you don’t mind me sharing. No, that’s what we’re all about, tips and strategies.

Because what I used to do was go in every, it was at the end of August they’d have an insect day and Ollie used to call them insect days because I think he thought they were doing pond dipping anyway. And our family, they’ve now been forever known as insect days. So I would go in and the Senko would organize every member of staff, dinner staff, TAs, LSAs, teachers, everybody in a room.

And I always joke with Ollie and say, you know, you started my public speaking, don’t you, because of this? And I’d go in for about 15 minutes and I would talk about Ollie’s condition, just the general things, because everybody’s a unique human being. And then I’d talk to them about Ollie’s challenges.

But I would also talk about Ollie’s passions, you know, his songs at the time, whatever that was, because he had different obsessions. So how to use that to bring out his strengths, whether it was maths which he really struggled with or English which he loved. And then at the end of those meetings, I would literally print out from vistaprint postcards with Ollie’s photos.

So even if a supply teacher came in, they’d know Ollie’s photo. And on the other half of the front, details of his condition. And then on the back half, his challenges and then his strengths.

Because teachers, they’ve got so many pressures on them, they don’t always have time to read the EHCPs. No, they’re drives by people, I can’t believe. And I feel sorry for them because they’re kind of crushed between government directive and these children coming up and they don’t have the adequate training.

So I thought everyone has got time to see a postcard with a child’s face on it. And I apologize, Ollie, because this is the first time you’ve now heard this. I’ve just realized he still didn’t know about that till this day.

So I used to do that every year. It was Ollie and I was in agreement. But then obviously when I went to the college, Ollie went to the college, that was a little bit more difficult.

So I had to kind of advocate for him and educate the teachers by endlessly phoning the school. And bearing in mind, there are 1,500 pupils in that school. So goodness knows how many carers parents.

I would ring up and say hello, and they’d say, hello, Juliana. They knew me. So you’re a teacher.

So tell me a little bit about what you do. So I teach my therapies. I teach my therapies and train charities.

Because what I had to do was when Ollie hit his really black spot, I had to use my therapist’s training to help him because we chose, and I’m not saying to anybody not to go down this route if it’s right for them. But Ollie didn’t want to go on medication, and I wasn’t keen for him to, because I didn’t want his gifts kind of dulled, and we were just a bit worried looking into things. So they prescribed Prozac, so I didn’t want to go down that route.

So there was one night where he’d physically collapsed and he developed chronic OCD, and he was lining up cupboard doors, and he had his hands over his ears, and he said to me, make the voices stop, Mommy, make the voices stop. This is how Illy became. It was terrifying.

I was in a whole unknown territory. So I began massaging him then and there. It was instinctive, and he started dropping.

His energy dropped, and he was much better. But as the weeks went on, he would say to me, that’s too much, Mom. I can’t cope with that.

So actually, Ollie helped me refine what I do. On the back of that, I’d had my foot broken in three places. I took it into schools, not my broken foot, although obviously I had to bring that along.

And I would massage for free for six weeks, because all I had was 50 pounds in my pocket. And I had four children saying, what’s for tea, Mom? So off I went into the schools.

Ollie’s college, as much as I’ve said they’ve spent his funding elsewhere, they recognized that whatever I was doing with Ollie had massively reduced his anxiety levels. So talk with me about the massaging, because obviously you might have some parents listening in and had similar experiences to yourself. So what can they do to try and help their children relax?

If they can try and, I mean, if you even just put your hands on anybody within 40 seconds, I always try and put my hands gently on the shoulders, and anybody can do this. You don’t need to be a trained therapist. Within 40 seconds, you’re releasing the oxytocin, which is love and nurture, and that instantly makes the energy switch from fight or flight into rest and relax instantly within 40 seconds.

So what if you’ve got a child that doesn’t like to be touched? How would you sort of start that then? So what I do is, what I do is, I get them to squeeze themselves all down their arms, because for some autistic children, they don’t actually know where they end and the outside begins, but what it also does, it brings the energy right down.

So they almost mirror me. So if a child doesn’t want to be touched, we will spend a session where I will teach them how to do techniques on themselves. Another one is to massage the temples, because that floods the brain with the four main happy hormones and coping chemicals.

Would you use any oils? When they have a sensory overload, definitely not. For those who do like it, I will, but I would say be a trained aromatherapist, really, to go down that route.

But just the touch is enough. So how long would you massage somebody for? Half an hour, usually.

I suppose if they’re not used to it, you could start with a couple of minutes each day, and then start building on it. But what I always, always do is share with the parents techniques, and I share with the child or young person things they can do on themselves. Another one is under the occipital ridge, which is the last bone of the skull which joins onto the neck.

Little pits and hollows under that. The children can massage that themselves. So in the end, it teaches them to self-manage, be self-aware, self-regulate.

So everything I do is to empower them and to share that touch with families. And I’ve had families cry when I’ve shown them the touch because they’re so used to fighting for their children that to just have that nurturing touch almost bonds them back with their child. So if they were to go on your website, are there any videos on there that would show parents how to, because obviously some parents are worried about doing it incorrectly.

Yeah, I’ve got blogs. I care for autism, different brains. They’re all on there.

So could you tell me the site that people can go and check it out? So I care for, so if you go on my website, you can click on the links to the blogs directly. You don’t even need to look them up.

So remind everyone of your website link then. So it’s www.therapiesforspecialneeds.co.uk Okay, and are you on Instagram or Facebook?

[Speaker 2] (26:26 – 26:27)
Yes, I am.

[Speaker 1] (26:27 – 39:25)
Julianna Wieter on Instagram. So it’s spelled W-H-E-A-T-E-R. And Julianna is G-I-U because I’ve got an impossible Italian name.

Okay, so if people are listening in and they haven’t quite got the information down yet, you can’t find a pen. You know what it’s like when you’re in the house. You can contact me via the charity website and we’ll pass the messages on to Julianna just to remind you www.annaKennedyonline.com This is All Things Autism and we are supporting women’s wellbeing. Welcome to the Women’s Radio Station supporting women’s wellbeing. Women’s Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education and most importantly women’s wellbeing. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere providing opportunities and the platform for your voice.

Visit our website www.womensradiosation.com for more information. I’m Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower & Enrage. When it comes to money, do you climb up or get confused?

Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash but just don’t know where to start.

At empowerandenrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me at empowerandenrich.org and let’s change your future together. Hello, my name is Natasha Ann Callaha.

Welcome to you lovely lady listeners of your very own women’s radio station. Over the coming months I’ll be doing a survey and big brand coffee shops interviewing customers asking why they like to drink coffee and if they would like to give us a health tip for our listeners. The most shared and liked post will be the winner of a prize.

Stay tuned for further details. Hi, I’m Carolyn Van Biers. Please join me for a brand new show here on women’s radio station.

It’s Mother’s Hour. If like me you’re a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them this is definitely the show for you. We’ll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together.

With spoonfuls of advice, incredible stories it will be refreshing, honest and funny look at being a mum. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet.

Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you’re thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to we can help.

Visit turntotus.org.uk Welcome to the women’s radio station supporting women’s wellbeing. Women’s radio station can give voice to your brand with a wide range of sponsorship opportunities including individual programmes. We can tailor your experience for you.

For more information on how you can sponsor a show go to womensradiostation.com Women’s radio station supporting women’s wellbeing. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy talking all things autism. We’re live, we’re in Covent Garden and we’re supporting women’s wellbeing.

Before I go over to Juliana it’s coming up to the summer holidays and all you lovely mummies are going to have your children off for the summer holidays. Some mums dread it, some mums absolutely love it. I used to find it quite difficult with multiple boys because obviously they’re both like different things they’re both on different levels on the autism spectrum but you know you can work it out and just take it a day at a time.

I’ve just discovered the new rough guide to accessible Britain and it’s packed with 180 reviews of accessible and inspiring days out and it’s a rough guide to accessible Britain so enjoy the best of Britain’s attractions because as you know a lot of our children find it difficult to use transportation even though they are really working hard to make it a little bit easier and accessible for us. If you go on to options autism website they’ve got so many health sheets there for all sorts of things it could be to do with brushing your teeth it could be to do with eating and I found one on autism friendly holidays so something that they’re talking about which you can find on options autism is ease into the holidays. Preparation is fundamental to easing into the holiday and making the transition less stressful for a person on the spectrum.

A visual calendar to count down the days until the holidays commence allows the person with autism time to process and envisage when the change is going to take place and how long the holidays will last for and when they will be over and when they will return to their normal routine. I remember when I took Patrick to Disneyland Paris he absolutely loved it and he didn’t want to come home he said I was being cruel to take him back home I want to live in Disneyland Paris you’re not letting me live here I don’t love you anymore. So it’s just that he’s had such a wonderful time because Disney was a big thing for him and it is quite a big thing for a lot of our children they love Disney.

So Juliana, what’s holidays like for you? Or what were they like for you when your children were younger? I never treated Ollie any different and because we live in a beautiful wild place which suits Ollie’s temperament it was actually okay and to be honest with you it was a wonderful welcome break from the endless, endless telephone calls and visits to school and I’m sure they felt the same way about me I just don’t think a lot of people sort of may be listening in that maybe not have a child who’s autistic they don’t realise the navigation that we’ve got to do within this horrendous special educational needs disability system right from diagnosis right from trying to find the right type of school right from to getting support right from trying to get respite then when they grow older you know it’s just an endless plethora of paperwork that is just like and at the back of your mind all the time you’re thinking well my autistic child is actually going to become an autistic adult and what happens to them then? It’s always at the back of our mind we worry about getting older he’s going to look after them and I read somewhere as well recently that the fatigue levels and stress levels of a parent of a child who has different abilities particularly autism is on the same level as a veteran combat soldier and I actually believe that the exhaustion is unbelievable the luck of sleep for me is actually unbelievable so talk to me a little bit about Ollie’s lowest point and highest point so let’s start with the lowest and then let’s move on to the highest I’ve touched slightly on the lowest points but when he really really descended into where he thought people were lighting fires in his room so he’d be up in the middle of the night because he was convinced there were barbecues in his room and he was hearing voices he was seeing nooses from trees he was hearing voices telling him to put a noose around his neck he’s given me permission to share this for the first time ever do you ever sort of pick up what the triggers were because any book that you read about and any certain behaviours that we’re looking at that develop him with our children they always say try and pick up what the trigger is could you see what the trigger was?

the trigger was when they took away English that’s when it all I can pinpoint it that was when his world unraveled he’s got ink in his veins that boy words were his world they were his world from when he was three years old when he first began speaking it wasn’t baby language it was full words like he’d just been absorbing for the first three years of his life and books were his friends he devoured them so to have that removed they not only removed his present but they removed his future and his dreams of an English degree at university and on the day I had to tell him that and that they’d spent his funding elsewhere he actually broke that day he physically broke he put his fist through a pane of glass in his room and Ollie is the most non-violent gentle, gentle soul you could ever wish to meet and he had his hands over his head and I remember running up two flights of stairs to his room and he was sobbing the only sound I could compare it to is like when seals bark it was like a donkey it was like it was an animal sound I can hear it now and he just looked at me and he had his hands over his ears and he went, mummy I’m broken mummy I’m disabled aren’t I?

I just don’t even know how they could even take it how did they get away with it? what made them think that that was okay to do? that’s what I can’t get my head right I even read them one of his poems he’d won an award for and they would not badge the head of English sat with her arms folded and she said I’ve told you he’s got autism he will not be able to line up booklets he will not be able to have empathy he will not be able to infer I don’t know where she got this from because my son is full of empathy she needs a bit of empathy I’m giving to her quite quickly so anyway in a nutshell because of that decision what happened next was my son ended up in the mental outpatients unit he didn’t have psychosis but he had symptoms of which apparently there’s a difference and we saw this amazing doctor who at the time wanted to prescribe Ollie Prozac which does sound horrific because I’ve just said the doctor was amazing the reason he’s amazing is because he backed me up because I then fought for Ollie to sit his GCSEs in my therapy chalet and the school said to me no no no you’re not allowed to do that and I did my research and what I’d like to share with parents is that any child anywhere can sit their exams where they want whether it’s a public library or a beach as long as there’s an invigilator there and the other person whose name I’ve forgotten two people the doctor very kindly after I took a Senco along to the doctor’s appointment awarded Ollie seven minutes extra time. Seven minutes? It was supposed to be about half an hour.

And that was after four visits including one with a Senco so I went to see the head of exams who was really supportive, he was a lovely man and I said to him look this is my situation I know that spending his funding elsewhere was legal but it’s not really ethical I never shouted at anybody I was never aggressive in any way but I was like water on a stone wearing them down and I said you know if I took this to the press okay it’s not illegal what you’ve done but there would be an outcry and so I actually you know you spent his funding elsewhere, there’s nothing I can do about that now but I would like you to let Ollie do his exams in my therapy chalet if he’s overwhelmed you stop the clock that doesn’t count as seven minutes that doesn’t count as the extra exam time you can walk around the garden with him I’ll be nowhere near you can check he’s not writing on his hands or checking any information and he can do his exams so we did it that way and this doctor from the outpatients unit supported me so I got a lot of people on board and it went through and Ollie did all his exams in the chalet which leads to my high point my boy who would never achieve got eleven A to C GCSEs that was true reasonable adjustments that was made for your son so that he could succeed and I bet he just felt he wanted to explode although what’s he like with praise because a lot of our kids like Patrick if you praise him too much he doesn’t want to know Ollie’s really really really modest and humble I’m not when it comes to him so when he opened that envelope he actually ran away from me because he knew I’d hurt him by squashing him to death he was six foot three already by then so and I did I picked him up I picked him up and I’m only little but I was just so just so blown away but obviously he couldn’t do English because he’d had that removed he’d only had a bite at the lower paper he wasn’t even allowed anywhere near the higher paper so once again it wasn’t through the front door Ollie and I have never had the front door I was joking with you about that earlier we’ve always had to climb in windows, scale the roofs tunnel underneath the building, we find a way so he did media studies art and drama that was in the college and what were they like? well his drama teacher was going through problems of her own so she disappeared for the last term so Ollie and another dear friend of his Becky got each other through and they would revise in the library, meet up at weekends and Ollie ended up getting an A star they taught themselves for the last term media Ollie really struggled with and his teacher I have to say was not at all understanding of his condition, not at all

[Speaker 2] (39:25 – 39:27)
there was a few times I had to go in

[Speaker 1] (39:27 – 43:30)
our children get the right teacher because when Patrick started college he had a teacher and he said mum he’s the best teacher I’ve ever had in my life and when he left after his first year of being at college he was heart broken he just said how am I going to go off because he just felt he had such a poor and I think that is a big key as well for our children, someone that believes in them and supports them along the way Ollie’s art teacher massively believed in that art department were absolutely fantastic and I honestly feel they got Ollie through they were wonderful so what’s Ollie doing now? so you won’t believe this, so Ollie went on to get A, A star and C and he’s just finished doing a Masters in creative writing and publishing at his first choice university so what does he want to do? well he’s been invited by Tim Learday who was his tutor who’s won eight prizes for his poetry, he’s taken Ollie under his wing and the boy who everyone wrote off has now been invited to do a Masters I know he does I’ve got goose pimples you’re a very proud mum oh my god I could burst my oldest son is doing art at Falmouth University and he’s really phenomenal he’s channeled a lot of what’s happened to us into his art, my daughter’s doing media and has an agent so she’s doing really well and my son, my other son, my youngest son is really really musical and amazing he has hypermobility but he’s an amazing dancer, like liquid how he moves, he’s an amazing little boy oh excellent, I’d love to see that because I’m into dance, I like to see dance, so he’s got an amazing family now, they’re a very tight knit bunch and all because you’ve been supporting them, because you’ve been pushing and you’ve been on your own, we’ve all helped each other we’ve all helped each other, I’m so pleased that he’s doing something else I’m excited to read more of his poems as well thank you, so again if you’d like to be one of the speakers or you’d like to come along to my show and talk about all things autism please contact me on the charity website, it’s www.anna Kennedy online.com if you’ve got any ideas that’s something that you might like to do or create or help the charity please contact the charity, we’re always thinking out the box of things that we can do to raise awareness and acceptance about autism so that our children can have opportunities just like everybody else we’re at All Things Autism and what we’re doing is we’re supporting women’s wellbeing Hello and welcome to June May is Listening Hi this is Anna Kennedy and we’re at women’s radio station supporting women’s wellbeing and we’re talking all things autism women, the possibilities are endless, that’s what makes us different you can contact us on 0208 658 4334 or visit our website www.brownhillgroup.co.uk for your free no obligation quotation at Brownhills we’ve got you covered here on women’s radio station every week I’ll be here with an expert guest talking about women’s reproductive health everything fertility, pregnancy, birth and baby related right through to the menopause and beyond please join us for an informative and fun hour

[Speaker 2] (43:59 – 44:35)
Hi I’m Valentina Barracci and I’m the Executive Director of Media Matters for Women we’re a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts by a Bluetooth and mobile phone and we have a series of sessions focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty we empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information to find out more and be part of this movement come check out our website at www.mediamattersforwomen.org you’re listening to women’s radio stations

[Speaker 1] (44:35 – 59:57)
supporting women’s wellbeing women’s radio sessions creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved join us on Instagram and Twitter at Women’s Radio Station that’s Women’s Radio STN or Facebook Women’s Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs Hello this is Anna Kennedy we’re talking All Things Autism we’re live in Covent Garden and it’s a humid afternoon I am patron to many charities and groups across the country and last week I met up with Cheshire Autism Practical Support I’ve been patron to this group for about three years now and they have been going since 2010 it’s a parent support group and it’s developed into a comprehensive support network for the parents and families of people in Cheshire and some of the things just to let you know what they’re doing so you might be looking for a support group or you might be looking for somewhere that your son or daughter may like to go so they’ve got they’ve got a club for a specialised socialisation group for children which meets weekly in Norwich advocacy, counselling for older children, adults on the spectrum independence and living skills for adults on the spectrum, mindfulness for parents, so check out Chaps it’s in Cheshire and I’m going to be going there actually I’m just going to announce in April it’s their 10th year birthday and they’re going to celebrate by doing Autism’s Got Talent so that’s going to be happening now in Cheshire in April and more news will be shared very very soon my guest today is the lovely Juliana and Juliana’s going to talk to me a little bit about now about advice that you would give to parents and teachers because obviously we’ve been throughout the years now and picked up strategies, tips so what sort of things would you advise a mum that’s just starting on her journey a son or daughter’s just been diagnosed with Autism what sort of things would you say to them? I would say to them be open to advice but a lot of the professionals who you’ll come across will be thinking very inside the box and that’s not disrespecting anybody because a lot of what they have to say is important, particularly if like me you’re just completely in the dark but don’t let anybody let that label define your child don’t force them into that restricted way of thinking or limited beliefs around them, they’re bigger than that never stop seeing your child I had all those people doctors, psychologists, teachers telling me my son would never achieve he’s going to go on and do a Masters in September, never stop believing in your child every child I always say has a song they have a gift 80% of communication isn’t speech so for them they might be an amazing trampolines there’s somebody I worked with who went on to cycle for Britain, not because of me but because of the teamwork around him we all have different gifts and we all have challenges just as you wouldn’t put 100 people in a room or with a common cold and say right, you’re all exactly the same your child isn’t a clone either and the autism spectrum’s massive anyway I always say every child has what I call an access point something that lights them up and so it’s finding that whether it’s through singing or writing or art or sport or walking, running and even if they’re never going to go into a job and be paid there will be something that lights your child up and it’s finding what that is they’re here to live not just to exist just never stop believing and sometimes you might come across what they can do by accident all of a sudden they’ll do something and you’ll just think I never need to do that I’ve seen that with artwork with some of the children where all of a sudden they’ve just started drawing or they might have been doodling and then it develops into something so you just always keep looking there’s always a key somewhere for our children Well going back to the psychologist who wanted to suggest prescribing Oliver Prozac because Oliver was so desperately unwell throughout his GCSEs and always being told he wouldn’t achieve don’t forget going back to that thing you only have to tell a child something six to ten times and a new pathway is formed in the brain so they believe that you know that Ollie was under all this pressure so this doctor would come to our home to visit Ollie because Ollie was too unwell to go to the outpatient unit and when we were signed off the doctor shook Oliver’s hand and said you’re an extremely bright young man who was disabled by the mainstream system and then he shook my hand but he held it between his hands you know he wouldn’t let go of it and he said I need to let you know right now you and your son have both turned everything I’ve ever learned about autism on its head and from now on if I get a child with autism in front of me I will look at the whole child completely differently That’s what happened at Autism’s Got Talent a GP actually came last year to visit the show and he said I never this is what he actually said to me I never knew children who were autistic or adults who were autistic could achieve what they’ve just achieved on stage he said you’ve made me think about it differently so for me it was worth the show just for that Well I do and I don’t mean this in any arrogant way to big myself up but I do a lot of public speaking for free advocating for these children and their abilities and to look at them differently and not just look at a label and think oh ADHD that’s behaviour or whatever it is when actually their brains don’t make enough dopamine it’s the way their brains are wired so I go and advocate a lot for these children because I believe in them and if I had a pound for every single time one of the speakers or people from the audience have come up to me afterwards and said if only I’d had that one person believing in me my whole future would have been different and I always have a thing in my head, you know life is like a pebble path and if you change one of those pebbles the entire outcome, the entire future is different so my big advice to the teachers and parents is be that pebble that makes the difference but a good difference yes there are challenges and issues but don’t we all face them? We do, we do and I feel that we’re talking about the autism spectrum, we all do things in a certain way don’t we? Of course we do it’s just like you get up in the morning, you brush your teeth in a certain way, you like to use the same toothbrush, all of those sort of things, all those little routines that we like, it’s just our children have got different challenges Autism is not from a textbook and teachers who can’t just see the child behind the label well they’re very much in a box aren’t they?

You know it’s taking time to know the child which I know is really difficult in highly pressurized classrooms so on that note I would say to parents, even because I had one recently he wrote to me and said you know the HCP has been delayed again and it’s another year and his needs are very high and I said go in on the insect days do what I did, put his picture on a postcard, go in and talk yes they might roll their eyes, yes it might get on their nerves but you know what, in the long run that child will be understood supported, I used to say for instance to teachers, Ollie can’t understand multiple instructions, so I’d say one of the points on my postcard was if you just put the points on a whiteboard break it down into points it’s then inclusive, it’s not going Ollie by the way you’ve got autism, this is for you here you know you might have a child with dyslexia who finds it difficult to remember everything, that will help our child is just tired, had a late night going through awful times at home that is going to have a collective benefit on the classroom, on the teacher’s life within that classroom it includes that child instead of constant messages of exclusion it’s a whole different message and I think if the teachers and the parents talk to each other, so if you find out what kind of a day your child’s had at school, what have they been doing, because sometimes you ask your son or your daughter, what did you do today, and they’ll shrug their shoulders, they don’t share that information or if you’ve had a particularly stressful evening with your son or their daughter, or they’ve been up all night share that with the school, because obviously she’s going to be particularly tired that day, so I think if people talk more, or send messages or send a text, or send an email or a quick phone call, I just think it really helps, so everyone is getting the whole picture about that child let’s talk about, what do you do to relax, I always ask our parents or anybody who comes to the show what do you do to relax, because obviously we’re so focused on what we do, we have a million hats, we’re working, we’re looking after our children, we’re up at night, whatever it is that we’re doing, what do you do to relax?

I do do really long hours like you so finding time to relax is difficult but as I said before, we live in a beautiful wild place, so for us, and I’m often with the children not because I feel I have to be, but because they are my best friends, they are my best friends, and my biggest teachers actually, so we do beach fires, we go off and get wild mushrooms, we really massively into our walking photography, you know just really silly board games, I live on Exmoor, I live in West Somerset on Exmoor. Would you feel a bit isolated?

No, not at all I absolutely love it, and I’ve just we’ve just got this little addition to the family called Boo, who’s our therapy dog, and she comes into my rainbow kid sessions with me, and on that note she’s actually been amazing for Ollie because Ollie would never bond with he liked family pets that we’ve had, you know he’s never been unkind, but he’s just not been interested, he actually lets Boo kiss him on the lips, which is huge, and he strokes her and cuddles her, this great big six foot four, six foot five young man, with his tiny tiny little chihuahua papillon, it’s so funny and he adores her and they’re very loyal, and they’re very welcoming when you come in the door he absolutely adores her, he said to me, do you know what mum, I really love Boo so now for us, we don’t go anywhere without her, so we’re always out, and we just adore where we live and that you’re not isolated there in a way, because there’s such a terrific sense of community, and people kind of know our story a little bit too, so there’s friends in and out, it’s the everlasting, the never ending porridge pot, wasn’t it? In my house it’s the never ending pasta pot being Italian, so that it’s always full house, and life’s good Ollie’s blooming, we’re all blooming I was just going to say, you look happy we are happy, we really are I wouldn’t wish the journey we’ve had on anyone, which is why I’m sharing it here, but it’s just so lovely to know my child will become an included and valued autistic member of society, but he’s not just autistic, he’s got a million other things that he’s good at as well So I’m really looking forward to meeting Ollie in Riesling, so that’s going to be in October, so if any of you are listening in, and you might like to come along and listen to Ollie sharing his poem It’s Julianna, so we’ll be there It’s going to be at the Winston Churchill Theatre, which is in Riesling The information’s on the charity website which is www.annaKennedyOnline.com We have a separate link where you can click on events so you can look at Winston Churchill Theatre you can look at what we’re going to be doing next year We’re actually going to be looking at another theatre next year We’re going to Chester, so we’re going all over the place, so to share what our children and our adults can do We’re very, very proud of our show and it’s like the highlight of our year I just want to say thank you so much Julianna for coming in today and sharing your story You’ve been amazing, and I’m so pleased that your son is going to do his masters, and he’s going to do wonderful things, and he’s going to be sharing that wonderful poetry with everyone He’s my giant in every way Thank you so much, so again if you want to ask any questions to Julianna, you can put them through the charity website if you’ve just missed the website she shared So it’s www.annaKennedyOnline.com Thank you everyone, and goodbye We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice Visit our website, www.womensradiostation.com for more information At empowerandenriched.org, you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances, and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy affordable way.

Get in touch with me at empowerandenriched.org and let’s change your future together Hello, my name is Natasha and Kalaha, welcome to you lovely lady listeners of your very own women’s radio station Over the coming months, I’ll be doing a survey and big brand coffee shops interviewing customers asking why they like to drink coffee, and if they would like to give us a health tip for our listeners The most shared and liked post will be the winner of a prize Stay tuned for further details You laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together With spoonfuls of advice, incredible stories, it will be refreshing honest, and funny look at being a mum trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to We can help Visit turntotus.org.uk For more information on how you can sponsor a show go to womensradiostation.com Women’s radio station supporting women’s wellbeing