Hello, everyone. This is Anna Kennedy on Women’s Radio Station Live. This is my second program live and we’re at the Voice of Women Worldwide.

Last week we had such fantastic feedback when I had my guest, Tali Nofeh, who was talking about Fragile X. A lot of people actually contacted me because they hadn’t heard of Fragile X so they did a little bit of research. And so today my guest is Chris Wild. Hello, Chris.

Hello, Anna, and thank you for having me. That’s okay. So we are going to be talking about lots of things that you’re very good at writing books, artwork.

I’ve seen your fantastic artwork. So you’re from the north like me. You’re the author of Damaged and you were born in Halifax, your 38 years old husband, father of two beautiful children which I’ve seen and there are very beautiful, memoir of your memories of the care system with stories of all the boys and girls and men and women you met along the way.

So Chris, talk to me about who is Chris? Yeah, well, I’m Chris Wild. Yeah, everything I do stems from my past and I think that’s who I am. I always say to people, you know, carry yourself with pride, know who you are and be proud of who you are.

And my book, the first few chapters, I try and delineate that as best as I can. I try and establish a character, try and establish who I am, the truth and my motives in life. Everything stems from my foundations and my dad.

I was born in Halifax. I’m just a very normal working class young man from Halifax. My dad and my mom both very much working class people, working class backgrounds.

My dad was a storm mason. My mom had like five jobs like most parents did in the early 80s just to make ends meet. And I had a very normal upbringing as, you know, normal as normal could be, whatever that means.

You know, we had fun. We didn’t want anything because we didn’t know anything about opulence or, you know, we didn’t know if we liked anything. It was just a very strong, loving, formidable family.

You’ve got a sister. I have a sister, yes, Donna. She’s two years old of an eye, but she lives in Australia.

She escaped to where she could. So yeah, we just had a really good, you know, Yorkshire northern background and upbringing. It was, you know, happy memories as a child, colorful and rich in that respect.

Yeah. So obviously your dad was your rock. I read, I’m halfway through your book.

And by the way, it’s really, really well written, quite engrossing. To be honest, I’m not a person that reads a lot of books. So, but I’m really quite engrossed in your book.

So while I’m traveling on the tube, up and down to Covent Garden, as I do nearly two or three times a week, and I’m going to be reading the rest of it and really looking forward to that. So damaged, it’s, I’ll just give a little bit of a brief background that you sent to me. Damaged is an abandoned, abused and forgotten, heartbreaking stories of the kids trapped in Britain’s broken care system.

So the Britain’s most vulnerable children are still suffering abuse in homes. Damaged is an exposing account of the realities of growing up in care. A quote that you have here, which is quite hard-hitting.

We were just sacks of flesh existing as punch bags for their rage or toys for their entertainment. So you lost your dad’s we spoke when he was 11. So I believe you’re in the care system during the 80s and 90s.

Yeah. My dad died first of April, 1991. And it was kind of a sporadic thing.

There was no time kind of really to, to mourn or take it all in. Everything just declined rapidly within, you know, two or three weeks after my dad dying. My mom was very young.

My mom was still a very young woman. So, you know, she couldn’t really handle it. She couldn’t comprehend what happened to herself.

I quickly spiraled out of control. I found my solace on the streets, joining other kids who were from similar broken families as myself, started causing trouble with the police. And yeah, before long, I was taken into the care of the local authority.

You think you spiraled out of control because you did you grieve? Did you find it difficult to grieve? Or did you actually understand what, you know, what happened? Now I’m 38 and I’ve been through it. I could say it was grief. Yeah.

It was, it was just crying for help. It was looking for solace. It was just, I wanted to hug more than anything, you know, but there was no one there to hug me.

And now my family were all overnight. It dismantled. It was shattered.

And all I wanted is someone to hug me and say, Hey, Chris, it’s going to be okay. But it wasn’t there. It wasn’t available.

And I found that kind of substitution within rebelling. Okay. And, you know, breaking windows, it started with very kind of, you know, trivial things.

And it just escalated out of control. Breaking windows started then stealing cars and, you know, just constantly being a nuisance. So what about your mom? How did she cope with all of that? My mom, she had her own trauma.

Okay. I’ve got to say, my mom is a formidable woman. She’s very strong.

She’s had her own problem. She was very young bearing in mind when we, when my dad died, my mom was only, you know, in an early thirties. Okay.

So for her to kind of, to understand and comprehend that kind of loss as well, it had a traumatic kind of effect on her, but she, she started to drink and she just lost control of herself and she lost control of us. Yeah. She couldn’t, she couldn’t rein it in, so to say.

And my mom was weak when my, when my dad passed, as most, you know, people are, you just lose control of everything. And I just, you know, I think she allowed me to go and let loose. Yeah.

So you started to write your book. When did you start writing it? I started to write my book two years ago. So why don’t we, 2019 now.

So I started at the end of 2016. I woke up one day, I couldn’t sleep. This had gone on for like three or four weeks.

I was agitated. I couldn’t sleep. My wife kept sending me what’s the matter with you.

And I said, I don’t know what’s the matter with me. There’s something in my head, just nibbling away. Okay.

I woke up four o’clock one day. I went downstairs. I didn’t have a laptop at the time.

So I just had paper and a pen. And I started to jot down my thoughts. So it was never intentionally a book.

Right. It was a therapeutic way of just dealing with what was going on in my head. So I started to write things down.

Then after two hours every day writing, I went to the library, when the library opened and I typed it all up because I didn’t have a computer. And then for 12 months, I was quite dedicated. And I gave, I said to myself, right, if we’re going to do this, let’s do this.

Let’s take it serious. Get up to four o’clock. Yeah.

Because I still had to work. I still have to do family chores. Of course, responsibilities, as we call them.

But I stuck to it and I became a better person that, you know, I started to write things down and my marriage got better. My life got better. My relationship with my family and my friends, everything just started to make sense.

And I thought, oh, yeah, this is, I know what’s happening here. It was a magical process. It was psychological, cathartic.

And then after a first year, I didn’t really stop to look at what I was doing. It was a subconscious thing. And I started to read over and think, oh, there’s something here.

There’s a book here. And so I put it all together. I sent it to a publisher.

I didn’t expect anything, you know, as you do, you know, I don’t even have a GCSE in English. I didn’t even think I could write to be honest with you. I sent it to a publisher.

And then six months later, I got a reply saying, very good idea. We like it, but we’re not interested. But we’ll give you a second chance.

Okay. So I went away, we looked at it, did some more research and sent it back to them. And another four months later, I got an email saying we’re very interested in the book and would like to give you a publishing deal.

I bet you’re excited. Yeah, I was walking down a Kings Road doing a jig. What I like about it, it’s raw, it’s gritty.

It’s to the point you don’t like hide anything. No, Anna, do you know what it is? And that’s what it is. It’s when when you write a book like Damaged, okay, you have a responsibility.

I my objective, it always was and it always is, was to raise awareness and to help people through through my words. When I was a young boy, going through the care system, I used to read bits of poetry, little bits of literature, which used to help me. So I wanted to write something specifically for people.

So they could understand, you know, I’m not a celebrity. I’m not this, you know, person who’s had this extravagant, extravagant life with opulence. I’m just a very normal working class young man who has suffered who from trauma, like a majority of us have nowadays.

And I wanted to get my words out there, because I knew how powerful literature was for me. So I knew how powerful it was to other people. And since writing the book, that responsibility has come back where every week, I’ll get 20, 30 messages from people all over the country have suffered some horrific abuse.

They’re going through mental health problems, addiction. And I’ve said, Chris, reading your book has helped me, it’s it’s enabled me to seek help as well. And that was always the objective.

There’s a lot of articles in the media at this present moment in town over the last few months, I would say, but it seems to be on the increase about people sharing their experience about the system about autistic adults that are in the ATUs and just like horrific. Like, I just can’t even get my head around what’s been happening. And in your book, I read about a young man that you shared a room with in the care home, if you can call it a care home after I read it.

Yeah. So tell me a little bit without breaching his. Yeah, yeah.

In the book, he’s he’s called Callum. So we’ll stick to Callum. But Callum, yeah, I didn’t know anything about Callum until I started to do the research for my book.

All I ever remember of Callum was that he was a boy who shared a room with me. And every night at the early hours in the morning, when I used to wake up, he wasn’t in my room and I never used to think anything about it until I started to go back over my past and speak to people who knew him. You know, I think going back and, you know, looking looking at Callum and looking at why he was I put I say this now, why was Callum vulnerable? That’s that was my that was my mission.

Okay. Why was he vulnerable? And I wasn’t we were both from similar backgrounds. We were both in the care system.

Right. So going over that and looking into it, you know, I found out but Callum was autistic. Okay.

At the time he was in care. Okay, then. So we’re going to talk a little bit more about your book.

We’re going to talk about the care system because obviously you’re in the 80s and 90s. And I’d like to know your opinion of what you think it’s like today as it improved. So we can talk about that.

We’re at voice of women worldwide. And I’m talking about all things autism. But we’re talking about what’s happening in the care system.

If you’re interested in sharing some information or you might like to contact the charity or Chris, you can do it through the charity at www dot Anna Kennedy online.com. Or you can find us on social media. So what’s your Twitter handle at Chris C wild 79. That’s right.

So at Twitter, so you can contact is that okay? Yeah. You can contact myself at Anna Kennedy ob e also have a Facebook page and a Kennedy online. And on Instagram, it’s Anna Kennedy again, ob e. So we’re going to be talking a little bit more to Chris about the system about living up north and then moving to London what you thought of it.

So we’re at voices women worldwide women’s radio station. Welcome to women’s radio station, the voice of women worldwide. This is women’s radio station.

You’re listening to Agro prize with kitchen sink spirituality. It’s Anna Kennedy talking all things autism. And my guest today is Karen.

Welcome to future classical woman awards. Women’s radio station, we want to hear from you. I listen to women’s radio station.

Women, the possibilities are endless. That’s what makes us different. Hi, I’m Liz van Linden, the UK travel consultant for hazel made travel.

People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service. This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators.

You can contact me on 07825 4412 12 and Liz spelled L I S at hazelmade travel.co.uk. Hi, I’m Maryam Jamo and I’m the founder of W can a young social enterprise ensuring an increase in employment progression and retention of black women in the corporate world. We specialize in the professional and personal development of over 3000 young black women in the UK. To get involved, please sign up or learn more via W can.co.uk. Visit our Twitter or Instagram at WCA network.

If you’re a corporation interested in sponsorship, email sponsorship at W can.uk. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity, helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness, or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track.

Whether you’re thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turn to us.org.uk. Let me tell you about German Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End, once found, never forgotten.

This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows.

The website is www.germondstreettheatre.co.uk. Women’s radio station is a not-for-profit community interest company. Supporting women is our passion. We’re currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive.

To donate, simply head to our website. Every little will help. Hello, it’s Anna Kennedy, and we’re back with Women’s Radio Station, voice of women worldwide.

On my way to Covent Garden, I was messaged yesterday to say I was in the front cover, or even on the front cover, of the biggest you, the top 100 changemakers, the thinkers, the creators, the agitators, changing the world in 2019. I couldn’t believe it. I thought I’m so honoured, so I was really, I just think, thank you very much.

I’ve tried to do my very best. I always try to do my best. A lot of parents contact me asking, you know, their children might have just been diagnosed, or their adults might have just get diagnosed, and basically they learn about speech and language therapy, they learn about occupational therapy, they learn about educational psychologists, but they don’t actually know what they do.

So what I thought was that each program, I’ll try a little bit to explain. So occupational therapy, so it’s understanding the roles and responsibility of an occupational therapist. They help people of all ages with physical, mental or social disabilities to independently carry everyday tasks or jobs with more independence and confidence.

An occupational therapist may develop an individual treatment program and may introduce equipment that will be aid that person that they are supporting in their activity. Interventions are reviewed periodically in order to evaluate its progress and make changes where needed. So say for example, Angelo, he needed occupational therapy.

As soon as he started Hilleter Manor School, which is the school that I set up over 20 years ago, I couldn’t believe that on January 5th was when I picked the keys up 20 years ago. So Angelo found it difficult to hold cutlery, he found it difficult to hold a pen or a pencil, and then he used to rock a lot because he likes that rocking sensation. And so what they did was they gave me some grips, they gave me a spoon that was specially adapted to help Angelo with a spoon or whether it might have been a knife or a fork, and what they did with his chair to try and stop him from rocking and the reason being they were worried about it rocking too far back and he would hurt his back.

They actually got four tennis balls, cut them in half and stuck each tennis ball under the leg of each chair and it helped him not rock so much if you like, so it just saved him. So that’s just a little bit about occupational therapy. There’s a lot of information on Google if you look up.

So each week I’ll try and give you just a brief snapshot of the psychologists and therapists that your child might be working with. So Chris, thank you again for coming on Women’s Radio Station. We spoke very briefly about the care system in the 80s and 90s.

Have you seen an improvement or is it just a postcode lottery as it is with SCN provision? It’s a postcode lottery. When we talk about the care system in the 80s, there was no offset, it wasn’t regulated. So back when I was in the care system in the 80s, there was no DBS checks.

So you can imagine what happened when the system isn’t as tight as it is now. All kinds of pedophiles and other dangerous people got inside the system. They got positions of power and with that they were able to do whatever they wanted to do basically and that’s what happened.

The care home I was in, the head of child protection at the time was a prolific pedophile. He’d been he’d actually been convicted and sacked from two other placements before he got this job. So he set his children’s home up in Yorkshire in Caudadale and he had the run of the mill so to say for 20-30 years destroying people’s lives.

So how did you exist? How did you cope within the system? What made you get on day by day? Because I can’t even imagine because obviously I’ve read the book and I’ve read of how they treated you and things that you didn’t quite know what was going on but you had an inkling. I was very naive at the time as you are as a child you don’t know what’s going on but you know one of the first kind of insight I had to how archaic and dangerous it was coming from you know my dad was a gentleman, he was genteel, he would never hit me, he was he was he was a good sweet you know man he loved us very much. They’re going into the care system and I write about it in the book the first time I got hit properly by an adult by somebody a professional somebody in power somebody who was supposed to take care of me look after me and I was buttering my toast and I wasn’t getting the butter in the corners and I just remember the the housemaster just saying to me you know what you’re doing and then just answering back because it wasn’t his toast it was my toast and then just getting hit around the head and I just think to myself that’s not right no but because of that I then started to see other things and it started to kind of unravel I was a rebellious young man I wasn’t a vulnerable young man I was rebellious I became a liability they didn’t want me in that home because I kept running away I kept bringing the police to the home they wanted this you know secret society to be secret but didn’t the police like think well why does this boy keep running away because I remember there’s a scene where they brought you and this young girl to them and then he clipped you across the head and the policeman didn’t say anything I had a really I had a message a couple of couple of months ago from a police detective in Coldale who was working at the time and he said to me I read your book and I broke down crime because I used to go to the house and see things I never reported it because it was always you against I was against them okay and that’s that’s what happened everybody was involved you know that you think about people in care the stigma about people in care is but everyone in care is vile they come from you know bad bad bad backgrounds they’re working class scum that’s the stigma about the care system you know about young people in care and that’s just not the point and back in the 80s you know that’s how they were treated they were treated like a dog would be treated in a bad kennel so how how did you get out of the system and how old were you and how many homes did you go to if you don’t mind me asking no no of course now I was involved within the system for four years of my teenage life so from 11 years old up until 15 16 the most difficult years of your life as well being a teenager um but I got out of institutionalized care so you don’t we can’t use that word legally now institutionalized but back then it was institutionalized because you were there 24 hours a day under watch and and your doors were locked I ran away and I kept running away and running away and in the end they stopped bringing me back because where did you run to the streets I found I found my solace on the streets I became safe on the streets at 13 picture that 13 years old and I was safer on the street than I was in a children’s home I was safer with murderers and and you know drugs and all these people you know who could seriously cause some damage yeah then I was in a care home what happened to Callum because obviously I’ve read about him and I just I always wondered what happened to him well I don’t I don’t want to disappoint people or upset people but Callum took his own life before he was 21 years old because he couldn’t live with the trauma of his past he became a drug addict he became uh an alcoholic um because you know he was severely damaged by the trauma and the abuse he injured whilst in the care of local authorities in Calderdale in the 80s should be ashamed of myself well so did you meet any other um children and adults that might have been on the spectrum that you might have thought obviously sometimes people have met young people or autistic or adults and then further down the line they weren’t aware of it and then when they read about it they think oh yeah I mean as we’ve spoken about is um I was very naive and ignorant towards people with autism I didn’t know what it was and I still don’t totally understand it and that’s why I want to educate myself now I’m back in the system now and looking back over the years now I have a you know an inkling I have an understanding of it looking back over the years I must have known so many people and met so many people who who were severely kind of uh neglected because of this because back then you know there was no diagnosis there was no support there’s not a lot of support now but so you think about in the 80s we spoke about it so I don’t want to use that this kind of terminology but anybody with autism in the 80s and 90s was classed as disabled yeah uh it’s it’s archaic it’s disgusting and and you know and it’s still there’s still lots needs to be done on the terminology of people with autism okay so you’ve moved from the north to the south yeah how do you how are you finding it how long have you been in the south do you know what um I love the south and I I come from a very secluded town Halifax is my home I love it yeah some great people come from Halifax it’s a great town but for me the transition moving to London was it was quite difficult because I’d come from a very secluded town where my granddad you know bless him if I when I first moved to London everybody thought that I was uh I was I was a homosexual and that’s the small town yeah but it’s the small town mentality before I’m moving to London for a reason to run away from something the irony is but my bestest friends the most amazing people I’ve ever met now are all people who were involved in the LGBT so that transition was eye-opening I came to London to get educated I came to London to get cultured and that’s what it gave me how old were you when you came I was 27 when I came to London a similar age to myself because I was born in Middlesbrough and my husband was studying at Bruno University and because I had quite a strict Italian background my dad was very you know restrictive of things I could do so I moved to London with my husband and everyone used to say to me oh are you from Newcastle no I’m from Middlesbrough and I always remember I went into a shop and I said oh can I have six bread buns so she went six bread buns what do you mean I said you know bread round things so she meant you mean six bread rolls I went rolls rolls you mean buns but you know I call it a tea cake are you yeah a tea cake and bun but you know you’re from minutes but you would have been a Yorkshire woman back in the 70s yeah that’s right South Yorkshire yeah yeah yeah but I always find I love people in the south but they all seem so busy everyone seems so stressed but in the north even though they haven’t got a lot of people that where I live in Middlesbrough they’re always so friendly so warm they’d give you the coat off the back type of thing I think with me look I met my wife in London it gave me coming to London saved my life it gave me an opportunity you know some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met in my life I would never have done if I didn’t move to London okay it’s a lifesaver I love the place so when was your book published yes my people are interested in buying it where can they buy it well yeah the book was published uh June 14 2018 with Blink Publishing um the book is distributed in all major stores so that’s as the Tesco’s W8 Smith’s uh Waterstones yeah yeah um and many people buy it at Amazon as well um so yeah they can get it anywhere just google it and it will come up how did it feel because I remember when they sent me my book uh Not Stupid it was in 2009 I keep saying I’ve got to write another one but I just don’t have the time I just remember when I held it I thought oh my god this is my life in this book I it was surreal for me I didn’t think it was real I thought I was going to get another email or a letter saying oh just joking it’s not really a bug yeah it felt great you know it was um it was a pinnacle moment in my life and it was one which um you know I’ve it’s opened many doors for me okay I think it should be a film um after reading it but I haven’t got to the end um Not Stupid um again if you’re wanting to read it you can get it from Amazon you can get it from Waterstones um as I say I wrote it in 2009 so I’ve really moved on since then um but I spoke on radio four and when I spoke um it went straight to number one on Amazon best seller so I was really proud of that so again if you’d like to contact me or you’d like to contact Chris you can either do it through Twitter or you can contact us through the charity website which is www.anna kennedy online.com you can either call the office where Lisa my PA long suffering PA is there 01895 540 187 and you can listen to us on women’s radio station live.

Women’s radio station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion connecting women around the world in a global network is all about diversity from the opinions, career, ethnicity, education we aim to show the individuality of every woman everywhere providing opportunities and a platform for your voice. Women the possibilities are endless that’s what makes us different. I’m Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich.

When it comes to money do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone many women want to be smarter with their cash but just don’t know where to start. At empowerandenrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy affordable way. Get in touch with me at empowerandenrich.org and let’s change your future together.

Hi I’m Lara Heems, founder and designer of Lara Heems jewelry. I make luxurious jewelry at affordable prices using silver semi-precious stones and high-quality triple-a cubic zirconium. It’s elegant, stunning, stylish and long-lasting.

Who needs diamonds? Find us at House of Fraser Stores or Ella Boutique Knightsbridge. If not visit us at www.laraheems.com. Make a statement and sparkle this season. Do you need mediation? We are the A-Project charity.

We provide convert resolution and community engagement services. Our services include community mediation for neighbour disputes, family mediation for separating couples, special education needs for parents, carers and their children and young adults, as well as workplace mediation and restorers services. To find out more head to www.womensradiostation.com or www.theaproject.co.uk Let me tell you about German Street Theatre.

This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End once found never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens.

We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germondstreettheatre.co.uk. Women’s radio station is a not-for-profit community interest company. Supporting women is our passion.

We’re currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive. To donate, simply head to our website. Every little will help.

Hello, this is Anna Kennedy at Women’s Radio Station, live voice of women worldwide. I actually subscribe to something that’s called They Work For You and it’s Hansard written answers and every sort of couple of days I get an email and they give me an update on what’s been happening at the Houses of Commons. So yesterday Harriet Harman, chair of the Human Rights Department for Education, had a written question.

She asked the Secretary of State for Education what the average waiting time was for a child to be assessed for an education and health care plan after receiving a diagnosis of autism spectrum condition in the London Borough of Southwark, London, England and each of the last five years. So the answer came from Nadeem Zawai, the parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Education, and he said that the information requested is not held centrally. Under the Children and Families Act 2014, parents and schools are able to apply for an assessment for an education and health care plan without the need for a diagnosis to have already been made.

Data is collected by the Department on Assessments for EHC plans that are completed within their 20 week target. This is published in the statements of SEN and EHC plans England 2018 publication is available here. So if you check out the gov.uk government statistic statements of SEN and EHC plans 2018 there’s more information on there.

So a couple of years ago I went to visit a women’s prison and I was invited by the Equality and Diversity Officer and in Leeds and I’d never been in a prison before and it was quite eye-opening and I met a couple of women that were diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and then I also met a mum who had a son who was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and she used to write the journal newspaper news in prison and apparently a couple of them said they followed me on social media which I found quite interesting. So there was a young lady there that kept re-offending again because she’d been in the care system and she felt more comfortable with being in prison and that was because of the structure. I also have been working with autism together and they were working on highlighting mate crime, the issue of mate crime and what came out in Merseyside.

So what the results of their survey came out was that 80% of respondents in Merseyside with autism and over the age of 18 felt that they had been bullied or taken advantage of by someone they had thought was their friend. 100% of respondents in the 16 to 25 age category reported having difficulty distinguishing genuine friends from those who may bully or abuse the friendship in some way. 8 out of 10 said that their fear of bullying had caused them to turn down social opportunities.

At the respondents who reported experiencing mate crime, 71% across all the age groups had been subject to name calling verbal abuse. 54% 12 to 16 year olds had money or possession stolen. In the 25 plus age group, 74% reported that they had been manipulated or forced to do the wrong thing.

Over a third of adults with autism had been subject to bullying or manipulation of a sexual nature, including being coerced into sexting. That is quite alarming and worrying as a parent of two young men on the autism spectrum. Mate crime, have you come across that, Chris? I haven’t, no, not yet.

It sounds horrendous though, doesn’t it? Most definitely. So you now are manager of nail care, is that correct? Yeah, I work independently and freelance, self-employed, so I go into companies, private companies, who set up care homes for young people between 16 to 18 years old. And we set up a foundation for them.

We give them the opportunity to enable them to enjoy life, go to college, get an education, so they come from all kinds of backgrounds. But what I’m trying to do at the moment is raise awareness in these care homes for young boys who have autism, for people who are going through sexual transitions, different genders, and just giving everybody equal opportunities within the care sector, because I think that’s what it lacks at the moment. Okay, so you’re working with a couple of lads that you told me about.

Yes, I am. So how are they progressing? How long have you been working with them? Can you give us a little bit more information? Yeah, of course I can. One of the young boys I’m working with at the moment, he came to us a few months ago.

He’s been diagnosed with autism. He’s quite self-independent. I’m quite in awe of him.

He’s so talented and so motivated. And I think before he came to me, he was in a care home and he wasn’t given a diagnosis. He kept getting in trouble with the police.

Nobody was given in the time. So he’s come to me now. I’m exploring it more.

We’re on this journey together. And I’m helping him to get back out into society, social integration, doing everything that everyone does. And that’s what I’m kind of really passionate about, is giving everybody that same opportunity.

So you talk about social integration. What does that mean? Right, social integration is where it’s a quality lifestyle where if you have a disability or, you know, you come from various different backgrounds, is that you all are enabled to integrate together as human beings, civilization. So you’re obviously working with a couple of lads.

So where can you see yourself in a few years time? What would you like to achieve? Right. So my objective with the book and everything else I’m doing and the keynote speak and going around the countries and raising awareness is I want to change the care system. I want to make it so the care system isn’t tarnished with this ominous dark cloud that everybody in the care system is a criminal or everyone in the care system has been subjected to some kind of sexual trauma because that’s not what it’s about.

If you were in the care system, it’s an opportunity. I want to give the government a kind of an insight to what it could be like. It’s a place of education.

It’s a place where these people can come and be prosperous. And the more people from the care system who have gone on to be successful need to tell their stories as well. And that’s the only way we can get rid of this really kind of dark stigma which is hanging over it at the moment.

So obviously reading your book and you’re talking about the care system paints quite a dark picture. Are there any care homes out there thinking as a mom? Yes, my care home with no care. There is a lot of good places out there.

But unfortunately, the problem is, I’ll put it this way, in 2011, social care, it was spent something like nine billion was spent on social care, so child protection care homes. So nine billion, 2011 year, in comparison to last year where 3.7 million was spent. So what does that mean? If you’re a young person in care and that kind of money is being deducted every year, so what does that mean to you? There’s a lack of funding.

So if anybody needs psychological help like cams, it goes amiss. They can’t afford to do it. You can’t afford to give these people opportunities, take them out and do activities with them.

So what happens then when a young person comes into care and there’s no funding, they’re just left to deteriorate, no support. And what happens when they leave the care system? We set them up to fail. And that’s why a lot, 80% of care leavers, don’t, now this is a stat from 2017, so 80% of care leavers will end up on the streets, with mental health problems or in jail, 80%.

That’s an awful lot of young people. So the care system, how can you see it? You say you want to change it. So where can you start? That’s what I’m thinking because obviously the care system’s huge.

Do you know how we need to kind of just change it completely? Go back and start at square one again, take one care home, get that right, and then obviously there’ll be a ripple effect. Like we did with the education system. We’ve got to invest some money into it.

We’ve got to get people, and the problem is as well Anna is. But where is the money coming from? Because that’s the thing, there’s so many cutbacks and they say it seems like the vulnerable children who are autistic or have a disability, they seem to be the first people that have been hit when there’s a cut. Of course, and I agree with you.

I mean, it’s not just kids in care, it’s sporadic. We’re talking about kids who have special needs, kids who need that support. And where is it coming from? I just don’t have that answer on it, and it’s scary for me.

But if I give up, if I stop preaching, if I stop raising awareness, then like I said to you earlier, it will just disappear completely. You came along to one of our events, which was the Charity Hero Awards. And what we try to do is, our charity is very much about raising positive stories, because there’s so many negative stories out there, doom and gloom.

So let’s give a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. So what we try to do is with the Autism Hero Awards, is we ask people to nominate people that might go the extra mile that work with children and adults with autism. So we have, we’ve already got people since when it was in October, are already starting to send in nominations.

So we’ve got 12 different categories. So if you’re interested and you know that somebody that goes the extra mile, that they want to share their story, it could be for Outstanding Education Award. It could be the People’s Autism Award, the Young Persons Autism Award.

We had Callum, who was Calvin, sorry, that was on our radio program. He’s so inspiring. He is the ambassador for mine, Dorset Mind.

The Personal Achievement Award, a leading business award for autism friendly companies, because obviously we’re looking at businesses because we want our children to end up getting jobs that where they’re going to flourish and where they can make small reasonable adjustments that is going to help them. We’ve got the Parent Care Award. Parents have to juggle jobs, being married, looking after kids, you know, the bills and everything.

So somebody that you feel that’s really gone the extra mile. Creative Arts and Media Award, Outstanding Community Award, Online Social Network Award, the Entrepreneurial Award and the Lifetime Award. So let’s go back to Creative Arts and Media.

I know that you’re fantastic at painting because I’ve seen your paintings on social media and thank you for donating one of the patients. Patience or even pictures that you sent to us. I didn’t realize it was of me.

I looked at it and everyone’s saying, that’s a really lightness to you. And I just thought, oh, it is me. No, it wasn’t.

It was amazing. So when did you start painting? What did you get out of it? Yeah, I started painting two years ago and started writing my book. And the reason I started painting is because I wanted to envisage what all the young people who were in the care system with me at the same time, I wanted to envisage what they might look like now.

So when I started to write the book, I couldn’t articulate what I wanted to say. So when I started to paint, I painted the people from the books, the people from my past. And then when I did that, I started to have this conversation, this dialogue with these people I was painting.

And that’s how the book came to life because I couldn’t envisage or articulate what these people would say now if they were still alive. So I painted them. But I painted them in a contorted expressionism way.

So my paintings are all about seeing the soul of people. They’re quite dark and melancholic. But at the same time, I paint people, real people who have stuff with mental health, addiction, people from the care system.

And I can’t explain the feeling I get from it, but it’s therapeutic. And I have a lot to thank for Stephen Smith and Lincoln Townley for enabling me to do it. Stephen Smith is one of our charity patrons.

Amazing gentleman. And he’s so kind. He’s got a heart of gold.

Stephen Smith is angelic, he’s an angel. I love him. So we’re going to talk a little bit about your exhibition, but we’ll do that in the next part and you can share with everybody.

So again, we’re at women’s radio station, Voice of Women Worldwide. We’ve been talking about the care system in the 70s, the 80s, the 90s, and the current. Quite scary really, but I’m sure there’s a lot of care homes out there that are doing a fantastic job.

But yeah, it’s just reading your book, I just like really like the rawness of it and the grittiness of it. So yeah, we’re at www.annaKennedyOnline.com. If you’d like to contact myself, you might like to contact Chris. You might have some questions.

You might like to ask Chris. Yeah, that’s no problem. You know, it’s just, or you might be someone who’s in the care system that are listening.

So it’s www.annaKennedyOnline.com. Welcome to women’s radio station, The Voice of Women Worldwide. This is women’s radio station. You’re listening to Agile Prize with Kitchen Sink spirituality.

It’s Anna Kennedy talking all things autism. And my guest today is Karen Knoll. Welcome to future classical women awards with Mince de Pana Passamante on women’s radio station.

Women’s radio station. We want to hear from you. I listen to women’s radio station.

Women, the possibilities are endless. That’s what makes us different. Hi, I’m Liz Van Linden, the UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel.

People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service. This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators.

You can contact me on 07825 44 1212 and Liz spelled L-I-S at HazelmereTravel.co.uk. Hi, I’m Maryam Jameau and I’m the founder of WKAN, a young social enterprise ensuring an increase in employment progression and retention of black women in the corporate world. We specialize in the professional and personal development of over 3,000 young black women in the UK. To get involved, please sign up or learn more via WKAN.co.uk. Visit our Twitter or Instagram at WCA Network.

If you’re a corporation interested in sponsorship, email sponsorship at WKAN.uk. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track.

Whether you’re thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntos.org.uk. Let me tell you about German Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End, once found, never forgotten.

This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows.

The website is www.germondstreettheatre.co.uk. Women’s radio station is a not-for-profit community interest company. Supporting women is our passion. We’re currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive.

To donate, simply head to our website. Every little help. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy at Women’s Radio Station, Voice of Women Worldwide.

As well as doing radio slots here on Women’s Radio Station, I actually do Sky TV, which is the Chrissy B Show and it’s the only mental health and wellbeing show. So I’m doing my first pre-recording tomorrow with the Autism Reality Experience. I briefly spoke about the Autism Reality Experience last week.

So if you’re interested in bringing the Autism Reality Experience to your school, to your workplace, to your first responders, maybe you’re the police, maybe you’re the fire brigade, that they are going to be talking to me and then it will be shown the following week. So that’s training to care. I was asked about the telephone number because some of the people, listeners hadn’t quite grasped it.

So it was 01376 573999. I’ll just repeat that. 01376 573999.

If you want to come to our Autism Expo, which is on March the 23rd, the Autism Reality Experience will be there and you can experience it. A three minute experience of what it’s like to have a sensory overload. So we’ll be bringing together top speakers.

We have art exhibition who we are very fond of and they support what we do. They’re called Artistic and it’s a group of adults that might be on the autism spectrum. They might have mental health issues.

They do amazing artwork, photography and they are, we just support them. We love them and they’re just such great and they sell their pictures across the country. So again, it’s the AKO Expo Autism, which is March the 23rd at Brunel University, Uxbridge.

Tickets are online. They’re only £10. So once you’ve paid your £10, you can come in.

You can get free advice at the clinic. So it might be legal advice. You might want behavior management.

You might want to speak to an occupational therapist. So again, come along to the AKO Expo. It’s such a great venue as well and quite relaxing.

Talking about relaxing. How do you relax? How do I relax? Chris, what do you do? How do you take a break? That’s a foreign word, isn’t it? Relax. Who gets a chance to relax these days? You know, I’m kind of, I used to be a professional boxer when I was 18, so I still train.

Is that Scrapper? Yeah, Scrapper, that’s right. See, look, I take note. I’ve been ringing about you.

Yeah, I go to the gym three times a week, but I’m an avid worker. I work around the clock as you do. Not as hard as you, by the way.

You’re amazing. You’re a superwoman. Of course you are.

I relax. I spend time with my family, with my little girl, Antonia. She’s five and my wife, Andrula.

And I go for long walks with my little dog, Frankie. And I try and switch off. I know it’s difficult when you’re passionate about something.

But yeah, I just try and get family time. Family relaxes me. So what are your likes and dislikes then? Well, my dislikes.

Anybody who’s rude, arrogant, anybody who abuses children, any man or woman who is racist or homophobic. I hate sanctimonious people. I hate people like Donald Trump.

I’m not making this political. Oh, okay. I don’t do politics.

But my likes, you know what? I like anything creative, anything artistic. I love talent. I like to surround myself with interesting people.

I recently went, you invited me to an art gallery recently, and that was amazing as well. I mean, I met some amazing people at night. I just love being surrounded by people who are motivated to do something.

And they don’t say home crying. They’re not lazy. I like to surround myself with those kind of people.

So tell me about your exhibition and how many have you done and what was your first one like and how did you find it? My first exhibition. I haven’t had an exhibition yet. All my work at the moment is like I’ve just done a commission piece of work for Mark Almond.

So he came to me. I commissioned the work for him. This is my first exhibition coming up.

Wow. Yeah. I did.

I’m scared. I don’t think I’m going to turn up. So it’s at Hope University.

And this is in Liverpool. Okay. And it’s called the Care Leavers Conference.

And it’s on the 14th of April. There’ll be information on my Twitter page about that. But it’s an exhibition for people who’ve been in the care system, artists, writers, poets, everybody goes, you know, just kind of like a showcase of people who have done well from the care system.

It’s not all negative stories. You know, there is a lot of successful people. So how many pieces are you going to be submitting? I am submitting, donating three pieces, three portraits, contorted expressionism, very similar to what I did for you.

Okay. But three people from my past, three people who were in the book. Yeah.

And yeah, and that will be on the walls of the University for Eternity. Wow. I hope.

That’s exciting. You briefly spoke about Lincoln Townley. So what we’ve been doing with him.

Yeah, Lincoln. I mean, Lincoln Townley is now a very well-known artist. I’ve known Lincoln for many years, but when I first went to one of his art shows, he took some time blessing, pulled me to one side.

I told him I was struggling with my own demons. And it’s him who initially got me into painting. And Lincoln just keeps inspiring me.

There is something on the cards for me and him. Oh, wow. I can’t say anything at the moment.

Okay, watch this face. Because Lincoln is very busy, but we will be working together very soon. But I can’t say anything about it, unfortunately.

Okay. So, you know, about your past, if you don’t mind me asking, obviously, you’re married and you’ve got two children. Do you talk about it to your wife? Does she know? Do you know? Just thinking, do you share it? Do you know what? She read the book and she didn’t like it.

Didn’t she? She’s not, but it’s personal to her. This is the woman who I spend all my moments with. She sees me at my lowest.

She sees me at my highest. And she didn’t want to read that about my past, it upset her. But yeah, I mean, we talk.

Trust in my family. I struggle with trust because of my background. But my wife is amazing and she’s helped me come through that.

So, you know, I wasn’t the best man or best husband, but right in the book. And my wife, being tenacious as she is, enabled me to become a great person and a good dad. So I talk.

And, you know, if anything is on my mind, anything bothers me. I sit down and I tell her everything because if I keep it in, that’s when, you know, problems start to occur. Are you overprotective with your children? Because because my dad was like a strict Italian.

Good girls don’t go to work to stay at home with their mother. I remember when I was 16, I used to think. And I remember when I wrote my book, I wrote quite a bit about that.

And my mum and dad didn’t like it. And they didn’t speak to me for a little while. But it’s just like, it’s that’s what happened to me.

So I’m from my past experience. I’m very unfortunate, but at the same time, I’m very fortunate to see the iniquities of life. Therefore, I can protect, hopefully, talk toward, I can protect and raise awareness to keep people safe.

And that is my mission. Am I that? What am I like with my young children? I feel sorry for my little girl. She’s not going to have a life.

And if there’s a, what scares me more than it? There’s a man or a woman out there right now who’s going to fall in love with her. And they’re going to have to meet me. And it’s not going to happen, you know, she’s going to live with me forever.

Yeah, I remember when my husband, my dad’s listening about that, the better, really. Oh, dear. So yeah, but I think, you know what? Our backgrounds, the way we were brought up and what you’ve gone to helps you become stronger.

And you can achieve more and you’re more hungry. But you know what it is? And I look at you and I’m inspired by you. I get when I thought I had energy until I met you.

And then when I met you, I’m thinking, you are the next level. I mean, what you do for your children is absolutely, you deserve all the awards you can, anyone can ever hear. It’s not about that.

It’s for me, it’s about like, you know, Angelo, he’s not well at the moment. So I’m going to the doctors tonight because I have to wait a couple of weeks more for the scan. I’m thinking, if you had the problem he had, would you like to wait a couple of weeks? No, you wouldn’t.

So I know there’s a couple of people that say, you know, I’m quite strong minded. But I never used to be like that. I used to be quite timid and shy.

And I used to be afraid of talking to people like who were psychologists who were doctors because I thought they were better than me. But you know what? They’re not. They’re just like people like those they’ve studied.

So even with Angelo, he comes at home and I know he goes to a college and I know he’s safe, but he’s nonverbal. So what I do is, every time I give him a bath, I check him over. I make sure he’s got his mummy.

You know, and I know he’s 25, but I check, has he got any bruises? Has he got any scratch? Oh, what’s that? You know, it’s everything. And I know it’s been a little bit overprotective, but I do worry as well when I’m dead and gone, who’s going to look after Angelo and who’s going to keep an eye on my son Patrick and support him all the way. You know, it’s just, that’s the thing that I worry about.

I want to live forever. I don’t want to get older. I have a funny feeling you might live forever.

I don’t want to retire either. There’s no retiring for me. But the girls in the office, they fed up with me and the girls that I work with because I’m 59 in March and it’s just like, I don’t want to be 59.

I don’t want to be 60. I don’t you know, age to me is just like, oh my God, I’m worrying about it. And I think I’ve got too much to do.

I haven’t got time to get older. But you know what? As I say, it’s just the number and it’s how you feel. And you look great as well.

Well, I’m tired. Thank you. So if you had some advice to give to somebody as a parent and obviously they’re going through the care system through no fault of their own or they might be looking after somebody.

They might foster someone that was in the care system. What advice would you give? Number one advice is listen to them, spend time with them. Be patient.

You’ve got to be patient. A lot of young kids go through a lot of trauma. And I think as adults, we kind of, we ignore that all the time.

Oh, we miss it. We miss those signs. And don’t be scared to explore things with them.

How do I keep my children safe? The kids who I look after in care, how do I approach certain things? I try and just be open and give them that kind of freedom and that trust to come to me. I want my little girl to say, Dad is a problem. You know, I need to build that trust.

Same with the boys who I look after in my care home. If there’s something going wrong and I can’t spot the signs, they need to trust me to come and speak to me. And I think that any advice as a parent is always talk to your children.

Don’t preach. Don’t shout. Talk to them like an adult.

Treat them like an adult. Definitely. Teenagers is tough though.

You haven’t got there yet. He says. Tell me.

I’ll speak to you when they’re teenagers and then tell me then. I’ve got no hair left in me. I just want to briefly chat about Autumn’s Got Talent.

We’re going to be announcing the 20 successful performers just like so overwhelmed with the talent out there. And can I just say it was one of the best things I’ve ever experienced in my life. They were as good as anyone on the X Factor.

I know we’ve got auditions from Hungary, Mexico, America, Canada, India, Croatia. The word is getting out there and we were so excited watching. It’s really tough to choose 20 from all the auditions.

We’re also auditioning now because we take it as a roadshow. So if you’re living in the Cornwall or the Devon area, please send us in your entries. So again, it’s on the charity website.

If you look under events. So we’ll be going to St Ives. We went for the first year last year.

It was amazing. An amazing venue and I’m working with Phil who is one of my friends who danced with me on Strictly. He got the experience so it was amazing.

So yeah, he’s going to be also comparing at Autumn’s Got Talent in the Mermaid Theatre on May the 4th. So if you want to buy tickets, please check out the website. So we’re coming to an end now.

I’d like to thank you Chris for being one of my guests. You’re my second male guest on the show. I know it’s women’s radio station but you know what? It’s great.

I always worry about what I’m going to talk about for an hour but there’s lots to talk about and Lisa always says to me why are you always worrying because I am a bit of a warrior but women’s radio station. A warrior. Yeah, a warrior, warrior, warrior, wherever it is.

So women’s radio station, it’s a great opportunity to get the work out. It’s bought the word out voice of women worldwide and it’s live. So it’s my second show.

Next week I have a solicitor that’s going to be talking about her experiences as a mum but also as a solicitor on women’s radio station, voice of women worldwide. Welcome to women’s radio station, the voice of women worldwide. This is women’s radio station.

You’re listening to Agile Prize with Kitchen Sink spirituality. It’s Anna Kennedy talking all things autism and my guest today is Karen Nye. Welcome to future classical woman awards with me, Stepania Passamante on women’s radio station.

Women’s radio station, we want to hear from you. I listen to women’s radio station. Women, the possibilities are endless.

That’s what makes us different. Hi, I’m Liz Van Linden, the UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service.

This happens from the moment that they enquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators. You can contact me on 07825-44-1212 and Liz spelled L-I-S at hazelmeretravel.co.uk. Hi, I’m Maryam Jameau and I’m the founder of WKAN, a young social enterprise ensuring an increase in employment progression and retention of black women in the corporate world.

We specialize in the professional and personal development of over 3,000 young black women in the UK. To get involved, please sign up or learn more via WKAN.co.uk. Visit our Twitter or Instagram at WCA Network. If you’re a corporation interested in sponsorship, email sponsorship at WKAN.uk. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet.

Job loss, illness, or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you’re thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help.

Visit turntotus.org.uk. Let me tell you about the German Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End, once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience.

This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germondstreettheatre.co.uk. Women’s Radio Station is a not-for-profit community interest company.

Supporting women is our passion. We’re currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive. To donate, simply head to our website.

Every little will help.