Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we're live at Covent Garden and we are talking all things autism and we're supporting women's well being. My guest today is Joe Luck, but before I go over to Jo, just let you know what I've been up to. So yesterday I was in Essex with one of our ambassadors, Aston Avery, and I was listening to all the interviews that he conducted at Autumn's Got Talent. They were so good. He was interviewing the performers, he was interviewing the celebrities, and he was interviewing some members of the audience and all very, very positive. There's been so much media as well that's been across social media. One of our singers, Daniel from Ireland, he was in the Irish Mirror, he was in my London. He's been everywhere and everyone is buzzing and what Lisa and I have been doing, we've been watching all of the auditions for St Ives. So that's next month. It just seems like everything's just happening really quickly. I can't even believe that we're in the middle of May already. So my guest today is Jo. Jo, look, she's one of my patrons of Anna Kennedy Online. She's got a diagnosis of Asperger's, Syndro ADHD and is a multiple world champion in her sport of kickboxing. Jo is a resilient, strong woman who was diagnosed as an adult and subsequently has faced many challenges and battles around accessing support and mental health. In spite of all the knockbacks she has had in recent years, she hasn't allowed these to defeat her and has, in fact, grown stronger and has become passionate about developing herself and supporting others, especially around changing views around disability and autism. Hello, Jo. Hi. It's been a while. Has it? No, it hasn't. When did I see you? I saw you a couple of weeks ago. Autism's got talent. That's right. So you've always been supporting the show and I just wanted to thank you for that. So let's talk a little bit about diagnosis. When were you first diagnosis. When were you first diagnosed? And can you just tell me a little bit about the process and how it happened? Well, I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 23, so about 2010. And then ADHD in 2014. Okay. When I was about 28, I think. Okay. So basically I kind of grew up without the diagnosis. And what it was that led to my diagnosis was the fact that I had mental health problems and I was in like a mental health crisis. And if it wasn't for that, I don't think that I would have gone through with, with being assessed and stuff. And I think actually like kind of going through a diagnosis at that kind of like age and at that time is quite difficult because on the one hand you kind of relieved because it's not a big issue, a big problem. You're not kind of. It's nothing really serious kind of thing. Well, I guess autism is serious, but it's not, you know what I mean? Yeah. But on the other hand also it's very hard to go back over your life and think about all the things that have happened and what might have been if you'd known that information sooner. And I think actually for me the accepting of being autistic was quite easy in terms of this is what it is. But it was the understanding about what it was and how it impacted my life and then kind of reframing all my experiences, that was the hard bit. And that took more time because a lot of self analysis happens and suddenly things make sense and it's like you've had a book that you couldn't understand the language to for most of your life and then suddenly one day you open it and you can read it. And that's kind of what it was like for me, I guess. Well, how was it school for you? Going through sort of primary, secondary. What sort of difficulties did you experience? Well, I, in school I was. I kind of flew under the radar because being a girl, obviously it wasn't looked for as much. But also my presentation was always that of a very quiet, like I would not speak. So actually when I started play school I don't think I spoke to anybody but like one person and I like would refuse to drink milk and stuff like that. But then when I started speaking school reception year, I would cry every lunchtime for my mum and my brother and it was things like that. But like I think nowadays that would have been looked into but like back then it wasn't. The biggest problems in school kind of came when I got to secondary school because of all the changing going from classroom to classroom. Yeah, you've transitioned into obviously a new, bigger school with bigger children. And it's not just the changing between classrooms, it's the change in as you're growing up. So just as I got used to everybody my age kind of liking certain things, behaving certain ways, they all changed and liked going after boys and alcohol and that kind of thing and that kind of culture was difficult to catch up with. What about the work at school? Were you able to cope with it? Yeah, I was very clever, obviously. Obviously, yeah. I was like, I did okay with schoolwork. I think what I kind of find frustrating and, like, the thing that I kind of. I kind of struggle with a bit now is the fact that obviously going through gcse, I didn't have any support. And by the time I got to GCSE years, I was going through whole days at school not speaking to anyone at all. So there was a lot of concerns about me and nobody knew what it was. I would actually. I'd be the kid that they would actually like, skip when they were asking everyone a question because they knew they would just get silenced. And it was like, I think year 11, I basically did no revision for my GCSEs, and I didn't do very much work. I fell asleep in maths, I fell asleep in my Drama GCSE exam, fell asleep in pe, which is an achievement. So I was very stressed, really. And I think what I find really hard is obviously I was predicted a lot of high grades. I was predicted all A's and stuff because I couldn't structure my revision and because I struggled with homework, obviously having adhd, it meant that, like, I don't know if I could have done better with some support around doing revision and in exams. So I was predicted, like, all A's, but I got all B's. So I guess for no work and no revision, that's not too bad. That was brilliant. But it's kind of. You think if I'd have known earlier, then maybe that would have affected what I thought I could have done, because I was very much unsure of anything. I didn't want to go university because I didn't think I would cope there. So you've been patron to Anna Kennedy online. I think it's about five years now, is it? Or is it a little bit more since 2013? Yeah. So. And you've done quite a lot of work with me. You've been speaking at various different events. You created a comic strip book which was just a total success. So many parents, so many kids as well, reading the comic strip book, felt like they recognized a lot of what you put in there. We launched that at the House of Commons, if I remember correctly. So that was fantastic. You also spoken on Autumn's Got Talent. We've done quite a bit together, so I just wanted to say thanks because obviously you're a great speaker as well. Every time somebody hears you speak, they say they just get so much out of what you share with everybody. So how is it? How do you feel about being a patron and do you think. Where. Do you think that you've supported a lot of parents along the years that we've been doing it? Well, I guess, like, for a start, being asked to be a patron was quite a big thing for me because I think, like, that year 2013, I did so many different things. That was the year I kind of. We kind of met and I spoke at Autism Got Talent. That's right. And, like, until then, like, I hadn't really done a lot of things. I just started sort of speaking in assembly is because I'd. I'd won my world titles in kickboxing and I wanted to kind of inspire younger people. And then I kind of wanted to reach out to people who are autistic. I think that's kind of how we got talking, really. So being a patron was like, quite a privilege and an honor, really. And it made me feel, like, quite positive about myself, like, that somebody would want me, like, people to look up to me. So that was quite a big. A big thing for me. And I enjoy kind of doing as much as I can around with the charity. I love doing the comic. I think that went, like, as far as Canada. It did. It did. They found that in Canada, so that was quite fun. It's just I haven't done as much as I'd have liked to have done because I've had some difficulties in the last few years. Well, I've always said to you, there's no pressure. It's when you are ready. It's just like when I kind of took on the patron role, I had all these ideas in my head that I would do this and I would do that, and I wanted to get involved with these things. And obviously, I, like, I live a bit further away than most people. Everything's in London, whereas I'm kind of a few hours away, so it makes it more difficult to get there and stuff. But I think, like, the opportunities that I've had have helped me grow a lot as a person and then just building relationships with people. Like, everyone in the charity has been really friendly and supportive to me. And it's when you turn up to events, even if I've not kind of been around for a while, everyone's still just as welcoming and friendly to me, which is a really nice thing because I don't always have that experience. We've sort of grown into be a family, really. Aren't we, like, a big family? And I guess it's kind of. It's helped kind of. I've helped manage to help quite a few people, obviously. I've met my friend Vicky, who used to be a charity champion, and I've helped her a lot because she lives locally around where I live, and over the years I think I've made quite a difference with their family and just, I think general, just like giving a kind of hope and inspiration and advice to a few people has kind of been useful for them. Yeah. And when we had the expo as well, you came along and spoke to a few parents and individuals where they were having a bit of a difficult time and you're giving them a little bit of advice. So everything that you've contributed to the charity has been great, even though you feel maybe sometimes you haven't, you just have. So. And, you know, as I say, it's. There's no pressure, it's when you are ready. And I've always said to you, if I've asked you to do something, no pressure, you know, it's when you're ready. Well, it's like you. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I like to get, like, do my best and get it all in. But I think we're planning on doing some training sessions and stuff, aren't we? And I think now things are settling down, that's something I'll be able to do. That's great. Yeah. Because we've got one of our consultants, Paul, who spoke previously a few weeks ago on Women's Radio Station, and he spoke about his experiences. So what I do is I look across social media, I watch people, and if I feel that they're going to be fitting into our team, that's when I say, would you like to become a patron? Would you like to become an ambassador? Would you like to become a charity champion? So for anyone out there that's listening in this, they'd like to be part of our team. Please send us in a message to Anna Kennedy online, which was www.anna Kennedyonline.com. if you'd like to ask Jo any questions about whether, you know, you feel that you might be on the spectrum yourself or you might be going through a difficult patch. Jo gives some fantastic advice. So if you'd like to contact her again through the charity website. Jo, you're on social media as well, I believe. So. It's Twitter. What's your Twitter handle, Joey? B, C, K, A. So that's O, E, Y, B, C, K, A. Yeah, yeah. And you're on Facebook, Instagram, probably, but I don't use it much. Yeah, a lot of People tend to use Facebook and Twitter. Facebook's the best way. Yeah. So again, if you want to contact us, please contact us via the charity website. Welcome to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station supporting women's well being and we're talking all things autism women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Falguni Desai of Action Coach. Are you a business owner with more than five employees? Do you want to grow your business? I'm a London based business coach who helps small and medium sized businesses to grow and make a profit. I will help you identify the strengths and weaknesses in your business and then work with you to improve it using a structured framework. To find out more, contact me on 072-16-54640 and book your one hour complimentary one to one coaching session. Thank you. Hi, I'm Tracey Weedon of Brownhill Insurance Group. We are an award winning family run insurance broker covering a wide range of insurance products ranging from commercial lines to personal household, high net worth and fine art. You can contact us on 0208-658-4334 or visit our website www.brownhillgroup.co.uk for your free no obligation quotation at Brownhills. We've got you covered. Hi, I'm Carolyn Van Beers. Please join me for a brand new show here on women's radio station, Its Mother's Hour. If, like me, you're a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them, this is definitely the show for you. We'll examine the highs and lows of motherhood and make sure you laugh out loud as we take on this challenging role together with spoonfuls of advice, incredible stories. It will be refreshing, honest and funny. Look at being a mum. Hi, I'm Valentina Barbacci and I'm the Executive Director of Media Matters for Women. We're a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth on mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come Check out our website@mediamattersforwomen.org Women's radio station can give a voice to your brand. With a wide range of sponsorship opportunities, including individual programs, we can tailor your experience to you. For more information on how you can sponsor a show, go to womensradiostation.com women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we're talking all things autism and we're supporting women's well being. My guest today is Jo Luck, one of my charity patrons. And Jo is amazing at kickboxing. So, Jo, you have been very successful in your sport of kickboxing, winning not only one, but three world titles. What made you start kickboxing? Well, well, I started back when I was 13 and my dad took me along and he thought it'd be a good way to build my confidence because I didn't really talk much. And first he took my little brother and then he tried to take me along and I was one that stuck at it. Okay. And it kind of was just something I instantly loved and I felt comfortable there. Didn't speak to anyone there for, like, two years. So maybe his, like, idea of making it help move my confidence was a bit slow to happen, but I think actually, in the end it did. Okay. So you've said before that kickboxing is really helpful in terms of managing your autism and adhd. Can you tell me a little bit about how this helps? Some people might think, oh, it's quite an aggressive sport. So how is that going to help you? Yeah, well, I think for a start, my psychologist, he says that actually having autism and ADHD gives me a bit of an advantage because it kind of plays to my strengths. Okay. Because with the training that I do, a lot of it's very structured and routine and repetitive. So obviously my, my autistic sort of side loves that bit. Yeah. And I will keep practicing the same thing over and over and over again until I perfect it. Yeah. And then the ADHD side, obviously, it's very reactive. So you're having to be, like, alert and responding to things very quickly, which also plays into that strength. So where it's helped me has been, obviously, first and foremost, I'm part of a team. Yeah. So having some inclusion and being around other people, it's. It's a good social environment and it's not too much pressure within that social environment because everyone's there to do the same thing. So it's not about conversations, it's about punching people. So I feel a Bit more comfortable. Secondly, like actually for me it's very regulating, so I have a lot of sensory issues. Could you explain that? Because we have a lot of parents who listen in that have got children that are just been diagnosed, so they want to learn. So what sort of sensory issues? Could you just break it down? Like I struggle with bright lights, loud noises, strong tastes, certain smells. If people touch me when I'm like being expecting it, being. Having people walk past me in a big crowd can be quite distressing and difficult because I can't judge where I am. So there's spatial things as well. I also struggle with balance, which is quite funny considering I do kickboxing. But when I get kind of overloaded, the first things for me to go, my speech and my balance. So it actually looks quite weird because I'm an articulate, intelligent person who, who's very high functioning and he's very athletic. But then when I'm overloaded, I lose speech and I can't stand up. So people find that difficult to understand. Has that impacted on you? Say, for example, you're in a fight and then you feel a bit overloaded and a bit overwhelmed. How would you sort of, would you carry on or would you just stop? Well, that's kind of where like the kickboxing helps because it helps regulate. Okay. So there's a sense called proprioception, which is judging where your joints and your body is in time and space. And that's where like, where you get like the weighted blankets and deep pressure that's affecting that sense. So it's, it's quite, can be quite a calming effect. So for me it's not the hitting people that helps me calm down, it's the being hit, which sounds really, really, really warped. Okay. But it actually works. And I can go into training kind of really stressed about the day, not being able to talk very much, not being able to concentrate a bit, struggling, like put on my gloves, start fighting mainly with my main favorite training partner and he'll hit me hard a few times and it's like a power boost for me. So they avoid hitting me in the body because they know that they're going to get kicked in the head. So it's like, it's like I think I need a lot of the, of the weight, like in weight blankets and the deep pressure. So when you're getting hit quite hard, that's quite calming for me. So they call me the toughest fighter in the club out of everyone, including all the men. So I guess that kind of says A lot about how hard I let them hit me. So don't mess with Joe, then. So, yeah, there's. So that helps with it as well. But then also that he's taught me I can be successful and disciplined and not to give up. It gives me something to focus on and aim for. And having a goal is always a good thing in life. I think you've talked about weighted blankets and what some parents find frustrating is that they'll say, oh, weighted blankets. So they'll buy one and they expect it to be like a magic blanket. And everything doesn't work the same way for every one of our children and our adults. And I think that's what the frustrating thing is, because you've got a lot of parents out there that are looking for the Holy Grail if you like, something that's going to calm their child down, because nobody likes that, see their child being upset. So think, oh, I'm going to buy a weighted blanket, or I'm going to buy something that vibrates on their back, or I'm going to get this fork that you can put on their head. There's lots of different things when you go to these shows. It's just like a minefield. And what parents find very difficult is, which one do I choose? How do I know what's going to be right for my son and daughter? And they. They waste a lot of money as well, because these things are not cheap. So what advice would you give to a parent who's just starting out? Their child has got a lot of sensory issues, like, say, for Angelo's sake, it's noise, it's light, he doesn't sleep much. So what sort of things do you think parents should start off with that it's not going to cost a lot of money that they're going to waste. Well, it's quite easy to find cheap sensory toys on like Amazon and stuff like that. Ear defenders and things aren't too much money anyway. When you're looking at the weighted things, I think there are places like a lot of support groups might have things that you can trial out or if you contact companies, they. They will let you rent them for a couple of weeks to see. I didn't know that renting. Yeah, I think the squeeze vests, they. They let you rent them out to see if they work. Yeah, I got one for Angela. I got a free trial for that. And, like, it wasn't quite for me, but yeah. So I think also one of the things I think that people need to be more aware of Is the fact that like your sensory needs, like, and what calms you, it can change. So like for me, sometimes it'll be I want to like have a fluffy thing. Then the next thing you know, I want to have something different. And it's about finding as well where that pressure most helps. So when I get really stressed, it's my chest and my shoulders and my head. So I'll be pushing my head into people or into walls because I feel stressed, which can look fine. That's why. Then leads to head butting and things. So it's like a trying to calm. Also like if kids are biting, that can be. Because when I get stressed as well, I get a lot of like tension in my jaw and it feels really horrible. So I want to bite to get rid of it. So that's what I'll. I'll bite myself. So sometimes it's replacing that with a chew. You look at what behaviors you're seeing and think what could replace this. I think a couple of years ago I went through a stamping phase. Okay. Where I nearly broke both my feet stamping on concrete floor. And so then I got a fitness step that has these like pods on the, on the bottom so that I would stand on those and then just like stamp my feet up and down. Yeah. And within about 30 seconds the meltdown that was coming was gone. Okay. So it's just looking at the different things that, that the child's doing and thinking, what could that be? There's actually quite a lot of books as well that are quite useful. There's one that you can go through the contents of the book and it identifies the behavior and then what the sensory need is. So that would be quite useful. So I could try and find the title of that and give it to you for your website. Yeah. So obviously after the program, Jo's going to write an article about some of the things that she's spoken about. So some of the links she's talking about, she can include them and again you can find it on the charity website. Angelo this morning had three difficult episodes of where he just got so stressed. And sometimes it's quite frustrating for me as a mum because he's non verbal that to find out what was the trigger for this. So it was like at 4 o' clock this morning, then it was at half past four and then it was something like half past five. And he'll start off by just pressing his hands and his fingers together so tightly and then he'll just start slapping his head like really, really Hard and his ears as well. And I'm. I'm worried about him hurting himself and I try to put my hands in between his hands and my hands are like really stinging and so the tops of my hands. So I thought if I'm feeling that, he's feeling that on his face. So. Yeah. So it's quite frustrating when you're. So no daughter are non verbal. You're always looking for what the triggers are. I used to keep a diary as well of like days when it happens, certain times of the day. Was it before a bath? Was it after a bath? Was it when I was taking him to bed? Was it before I'm taking him for a walk? When he came back for a walk? It's just like you have to be a detect to try and find out what it is that's making your son or your daughter stressed. It is that. And I think you can kind of compile a bit of a checklist of environment, illness, tiredness, hunger, that kind of thing, and try and eliminate sort of simple things as well. Yeah. Before you look at something more complex. But I think I had a meltdown last week where I was hitting my head and I was hitting my head because I wanted my thoughts to stop. So I don't know if that would be the same for Angelo. But like that's. That's kind of how it was for me. Yeah. I used to find as well when Patrick was younger that there was certain days when he used to go to school, even though he hated school all the time, but he would get more stressed. And then I discovered what the trigger was because he didn't want to go in the hall and take his socks off to do pe. So that's all it was, was taking his socks off to do pe. But it took us such a long time to figure out that's what it was. And also things like he used to think the hall doors, as in where everybody went in, there was a mouth. This was when he was a lot younger and he was going to swallow him up as he walked into the hall. Or he was worried about the chairs scraping on the floor. So as the kids were going to sit down, there was that scraping noise on the floor. So again, that was something that we pinpointed that made him very, very stressed. So, yeah, you definitely have to be like a detective, but you can sometimes figure out what the triggers are, you know, especially if they're non verbal. You just got to really look at the. The behaviours of your son or your daughter. It's becoming in tune with them. And I noticed, if you don't mind me saying, you've got a little penguin there. Is that one of your comfort toys? Yes. I love penguins and I love fluffy things, so I like to, like, fiddle with things. Yeah, fiddly toys are really quite good as well, to help. But again, it doesn't like, it's not for everyone. So you just gotta keep trying. It's trial and error, really, to see what works for your son or what works for your daughter. So we're going to be carrying on talking a little bit more about your kickboxing team in the next half. So I'm looking forward to listening to that, even though I know an awful lot about you and I've watched your kickboxing and you're very, very good and I wouldn't like to be in the ring with you, even though you've tried to say that you want to teach me, you just wanted to fight me. No, no, no. Just get it right. Maybe I was younger then. So, anyway, so if you want to ask your question about anything she's talking about, please contact us via the charity website. It's ww anna kennedyonline.com or you can message me on Facebook at Anna Kennedy Online or at Twitter anakena kennedy1 or Instagram nakena kennedy or be. Women's radio station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion. Connecting women around the world in a global network is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education. We aim to show the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and a platform for your voice. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, a UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service. This, this happens from the moment that they enquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators. You can contact me on 078-254-12112 and Liz spelt L I S hazazelmaretravel.co.uk I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don't know where to start. @empowerandenrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me@empowerandenrich.org and let's change your future together. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntous.org.uk Let me tell you about Jermyn Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germanstreettheatre.co.uk. you're listening to women's radio station supporting women's well being. Coming soon will be a host of new shows supporting all areas of your well being. Shows that you can get involved in. So stay tuned. Womensradiostation.com here for you. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we're talking all things autism and we're supporting women's well being. And my guest today is Jo Luck. So, Jo, I know that you compete as part of the BCK kickboxing team and have to travel abroad with them. How is it being part of a team and are your teammates supportive or understanding when you struggle? Yeah, they are generally, I think for them it's been a learning curve. Like there's a lot of people in my team that have been in my team for a long time, so they're kind of like family to me, really. But then there's also people that are newer. So I think sometimes it's a bit difficult for them to kind of adjust some of the things I do because they kind of, they kind of get when to talk to me and when to leave me be. Yeah. And when I'm stressed, who should fight with me and who shouldn't. Because when I'm stressed, I have to warn them really, because I would hit harder and stuff. So there's only certain people that can really kind of handle me when I'm like that. But I think like going abroad and stuff, they always quite supportive of me. So my coaches will like give me like information about what to expect ahead of time. I have a Carer who supports me there and we get special assistance in the airport. But it's not always straightforward and there are, there are challenges when I'm out there competing. So I think people see the medals and they see the performances but they don't see all of the build up, the difficulties, like the stress of actually the change, like the getting things ready. Like my carer will pick me up to go to the competition. I'll be like on the way to the airport. Can we go home now? Because I don't like the change of leaving home and like by the time we get to the last day, I've asked to go home every day and the last day is I don't want to go home, I want to stay here now. I like it here now. So it's. That bit's quite hard. I think, like recently I was in Northern Ireland and we'd had a competition there. I got a bronze medal. I should have won. But we'll ignore that of course. But like later that night we were kind of in a, a restaurant eating food and it was just the hotel restaurant and it was really quite dark but there was like spotlights, like lighting and it was noisy and there was sizzling noises and like smells and lots of people talking. So I got quite stressed and it was just literally in the space of what, like two minutes or something. Like I went from being able to be eating my dinner to then like there are these little kids running around the table and one of them touched me, which kind of freaked me out. So every time they ran past I was scared they were going to touch me again. So I started struggling to use my knife and fork. My carer had to give me some of my PRN medication and when I get like that overloaded, I can't actually pick the tablet up because I can't judge where it is. And then I had to literally be carried out of the restaurant and my carer would never been able to do that on her own. So luckily some of my teammates were nearby and they kind of helped me. And then there was like a meltdown of shouting for like hours and my coach actually had to come into the room to kind of help me calm and he just kind of was reminding me about what I was good at and that people were there for me and it was okay and kind of validating how I felt and stuff. And it was quite stressful. But those things kind of happen sometimes. But it's great to see that your team are supporting you and obviously your team manager, would you Call him. Yeah. That's really looking after you and gets you. Yeah. They're family to me. Like, I've been part of it for so long that they know what's what with me, really. Okay, so this week is Mental Health Awareness Week, so if you don't mind, can we talk about mental health? Sure. Okay. So mental health issues occurring with autism has been something you have been quite vocal about in the past two years. Do you mind telling us a little bit about your personal experiences? And obviously I know some of them because we've chatted about them, but if you can just speak to the public in how it's affected you. Well, like, last year was not a very good year for me at all. I was. Had quite a bad mental health crisis around this time last year, actually, following, like a PIP tribunal and some other stresses that I had in my life. So, pip, what is that? Because people listening in. Again, that's Personal Independence Payment. So it's a disability benefit with dwp. And basically I'd got to the tribunal and a representative from the DWP was there and said straight away, before we'd even got in the room, that they'd got the decision wrong. So it was kind of that obvious. Yeah. So after all that stress that I kind of built up, things kind of deteriorated. I was scared of being at home and I kind of had a mental health crisis, was taken to the hospital and they just had nowhere for me to go. So I was in A and E overnight. I wasn't under a section or anything. They wouldn't let me leave, which is wrong, anyway. And nobody told me what was going on. Nobody gave me medication, Nobody even gave me food or told me where the toilet was. I was quite scared and in sensory overload and hiding under tables and things like that. And eventually they made special arrangements for me to stay at a crisis house, which is a temporary facility of like, sort of seven days of kind of a respite for people with mental illness. So I got put in this place. There were actually no beds, so I slept on a chair for two days. My doctor didn't want to see me any sooner than he was supposed to, so he saw me for 10 minutes. Do you ask for your dog Oscar to be there? And they said no. Yeah, Oscar, my dog, he was allowed to come for the first night and then they tried to take him away and say that he wasn't allowed to be there. And I couldn't understand it in that level of distress. So I had a police liaison officer that had Been called after I'd walked out of the mental health place, come and shout at me for laying on the floor. And she said, you're a grown up, you're not a child, get up off the floor when you've quite finished doing that. As if I was kind of doing it all on purpose. And she kind of shouted at me and made me scared. Then after I'd gone back to the crisis house because there was no way I could have looked after myself at home. I was in a meltdown for like an hour, screaming about Oscar and it was quite distressing. Everyone was kind of crying around me and eventually they kind of went and got Oscar because they thought it was the only thing that they could do. And even then it kind didn't stop because it was a proper meltdown and I ended up staying in that place for six to seven weeks. They thought it was just about having the right care at home. Nobody gave me any health input, nobody assessed me, I didn't know what was going on. Eventually when I did go home, there wasn't enough like support in the day, so I kind of ended up back in AE that very night and then sent home and then back AE the next night and then sent home. And then the third night I could have no overnight care, so my social workers dropped me off at AE and I was admitted to hospital. So then I was in the general ward and what happened there was even worse, like I didn't know what was going on in there, I was being watched, I wasn't told, I wasn't allowed to shut the door to go to the toilet, I wasn't told about that I could have a shower or a wash, I'd been left in a room on my own for a whole day where I could go into the toilet, shut the door, nobody could see what I was doing, then transferred onto a ward where I wasn't allowed to shut the door to go to the toilet and nobody kind of explained why. So it was quite distressing because logically I was thinking, well, all day yesterday I was doing that and now you're saying I can't, then the very next day they're like, oh, you can go home now. And I was like, well, what's changed? Because nobody's spoken to me, I've not eaten any food, you've not given me any food because I couldn't make choices off the menu. Things were happening just as they're about to happen before, like I wasn't kind of pre warned about it and they said if I kept Asking to go home. They would section me. I could go home if I wanted to, but they would call the police. And so I didn't feel like I had a choice of being there. But again, they didn't have anywhere to put me. So in the end, I ended up being sent to a care home, because in my county, they have a protocol not to send people with autism or learning disabilities into psychiatric hospital. So as an alternative, they sent me to a care home where I was supposed to be for seven to 10 days and ended up being there for seven weeks. Is that the place where you heard the doctors and nurses arguments in that you were too articulate and they didn't know what to do with you? No, that was in the general hospital where I'd had a sensory overload. And when I get sensory overload, I will often lay on the floor for the input from the floor is calming and so that I don't headbutt or throw things or have any of those challenging behaviors. It's kind of a way to keep safe. So it looks very controlled, because it is, because it's a coping strategy. So they were like, she's chosen to lay on the floor, so come away from her. And so the nurses were arguing that they needed more training on these kinds of things. And didn't you start writing care plans of how they should treat you and how they should look after you? Yeah, I've always done that. And the more that I've been able to do that, the less they've believed that that's what I need. And I only started writing those things because they didn't understand what I needed. So obviously a lot of training needs to go on, which is what? I don't know if you heard Paula McGowan and obviously what happened to her son. She was pushing for mandatory training for NHS staff and listening to what you've just been talking about, it's so needed. So we're going to be talking a little bit more about mental health, if you don't mind. So let's just talk very quickly about Oscar. How does Oscar calm you down? What does he do? Just his general presence I find really calming. He will lay on my legs if I'm upset. He will not leave me. He kind of stayed by my side. We're very in tune. I get what he needs, he gets what I need. So it's just. He just makes me feel safe. He's just a great companion. I think he's probably a bit autistic himself, but he makes me laugh. He gives me routines as well. I've got responsibility. It's a purpose to get up, take him out. But for the calming side of things, he will interrupt when I'm getting stressed, and if I'm stressed, he will come and lay on me. And when I'm ill, he will also not leave me. So, you know, when I'm highly stressed, Oscar's gonna be next to me. Okay. So obviously, again, we're not saying that every child on the spectrum should get a dog, but, you know, I think a pets are good in general for our children. So whether it's a dog, whether it's a cat, I've heard that cats are quite autistic, like in their behaviors. I've seen quite a few books about cats. So it's been good for us. You know, Angelo took a while to get used to Chanel, but he got there in the end. So, yeah, just look at it. So, again, if you want to ask questions, please contact us at the charity website. I can put them forward to Jo and it's www.annakenakennedyonline.com. women's radio station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion. Connecting women around the world in a global network is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education. We aim to show the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and a platform for your voice. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, a UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service. This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators. You can contact me on 078-254-12112 and Liz spelt L I S at hazazelmeartravel.co.uk I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don't know where to start. @empowerandenrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with your contact me@empowerandenrich.org and let's change your future together. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity Helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help visit turntous.org.uk Let me tell you about Jermyn Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germanstreettheatre.co.uk. you're listening to women's radio station supporting women's well being. Coming soon will be a host of new shows supporting all areas of your well being. Shows that you can get involved in. So stay tuned. Womensradiostation.com here for you. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy and we're talking all things autism. We're live in Covent Garden and we're supporting women's well being. I just wanted to share that my son Patrick went to Glasgow at the weekend, first time on his own all the way to Glasgow, even though the train was cancelled on the way back. We coped and I talked him through it but he was shattered. But he did it, so I'm so proud of him. And he's talking about going to Edinburgh so obviously it hasn't put him off. So Jo, so after all that you have been through, what do you think needs to change to support autistic children and adults with mental health issues better? Well, obviously clearly the biggest thing is training and I know like I read a lot about Paula McGowan and her son and a lot of like his experience kind of felt similar to mine. Obviously not to the same extent but like I could resonate resonated with me. And I think the train training is really important, but it also needs to be training from people who have been through it and have experienced it and can, can give the insights. So I've been kind of doing training with our local health service. Okay. I did a train my first training day with them. How was that? Yeah, it went really well. Like it was kind of a last minute, like finished off kind of thing, ADHD style. Okay. But it went really well and I think everyone was quite positive about it because I try not to be a talking textbook. I'm more of A giving experiences and using different examples and things like that. So I think firstly like obviously that training and awareness of what the issues are. So you can only train people to work with things when you know what the issues are. So in my health service they weren't aware that there were no services for someone like me, which I'm not quite sure how. You don't know that. Yeah. But I mean it's taken me nearly four years just to get psychological input. I eventually succeeded in getting the specialist because they wouldn't offer it to me because I'm autistic. Okay. So that's a milestone, providing training. So hopefully there'll be more to come. So I know that day to day life can be difficult with you and we've spoken about it a little bit within this hour. So there any strategies and approaches that you use to make things easier. And I'm saying that as well because again there's a lot of people who are listening or thinking, oh, what type of things can I do with my son and my daughter? Whether they're a child, when they're adult. So they might be listening to you and there might be something that will think, I'll try that. Well, I'm quite a little genius with strategies really because I've had to be very resourceful. I didn't get a lot of input after I was diagnosed. So basically what I need the most is structure. If I don't have structure, even if I can't really follow it, if I don't kind of know what I should be doing, I don't actually do anything. So it's, it's awful trying to get me to do the structure because I hate planning. So I get help with planning but like having visual boards that tell me what's going on I need. Or like a timetable you mean? Yeah. So I've got a picture board and I've got a month dry whiteboard where I've got all my appointments on and I've also got a folder that has things broken down further into day today. And then I have pockets where I put all the paperwork for what my tasks are for each day so I can access it quite quickly because if I can't access things to start a task, I won't start it. So that structure is quite useful. I've lived on my own for a while so I was starting to make use of like the, the smart speakers I have like the Google home and I was setting up routines on them so that they would remind me to go to bed every night. And in that reminder they would tell me to take my medication, to update my meal planner because I have a visual meal planner and all that kind of stuff they'd have in the morning, it would say good morning and it would give me all my reminders and prompts for the day. And like basically if I was going out, I could say I'm going kickboxing and it would turn the lights off for me, turn the temperature down in my house and it would tell me to make sure I've got all the things I need. Yeah. So all those kind of things help me. And I've also programmed it so that if I tell it I'm stressed, it will prompt me to have medication. It will do some of the strategies that help me to calm down and remind me that stress is a temporary feeling because in the moment, and I guess this is really important to understand about autism. Sometimes autistic people, when they have a feeling, you can't picture that ending. So you think that's going to be your forever. So it's the same when you go to appointments. If they say how did you feel last week, how things been going? I find that impossible to answer because I can only remember how I feel now. So I can't remember how I felt last week. So it kind of works both ways in that sense. So it's just those things are quite helpful to kind of remind you. I also have things like communication cards. I'm kind of like look at, try and identifying the problem and then working out a solution for it. I quite like to think outside the box of things. So yeah, I'm a bit like that. So we're, we're on women's weight talking about women's well being. So if I was to ask you, how do you relax? Because obviously you know, with me I like dancing. That's my way of like switching off. I don't have to think about anything. I almost think of it as an autism free zone if you like. Because it's just like I work and I've got my sons so I need to have time where it's just me. Anna. So what do you do to relax? Various things. Okay. Crazy cooking Chef on MSN Messenger. What is that then? It's a game. Like you like feeding people burgers and stuff. Just distraction games like that kind of help. I get quite obsessed with it, which isn't always a good thing. I like like decorating. That makes me feel quite calm. You're painting something at the minute, aren't you? Yeah, I decided at 10 o' clock last night to paint my bathroom. Okay. I like the like, satisfaction of like the. How it looks when it finished. Okay. So I think that can also be like, seeing that, that thing where you can see that automatic outcome can be quite helpful. What else would I do? I just like to chill out with Oscar. Really? Like fluffy bed sheets Oscar. And the film is probably like my chill thing. Yeah. What kind of films do you like? Nothing scary because I'm a wuss, but don't tell anyone because I'm a kickboxer. Yeah. I don't mind some scary things. But then when I'm watching it with my husband, Shawnee, like at the most scary moment, he'll get the pillow or cushion and he'll just throw it across the room, which makes me jump. So he loves that thing. But yeah, so, yeah, it's good to watch film and just try and switch off. So what are the most important pieces of advice you would give to an adult or a family member that might be on the autumn spectrum that might just got diagnosed, you know, going to work? Some people are worried about telling their employers, you know, that they've got autism. Yeah. I'd just say to someone with autism, the most important thing is that it's okay to be you. And like, being different isn't right or wrong, it's just different. And it's, it's just how it is. But I'd say like, the best way to deal with that is to, to go and find out as much as you can about, about autism and try and like relate it into your life. Because when you understand yourself and how you work, you can then start to see what can help you to grow and to develop. So that was, that's the thing that's helped me the most, is self learning and understanding of what I. What I could do and ways around things. There's more than one path to what you want to do. It's just uncovering the bushes, I guess. Yeah. So like, that's kind of what I'd say is just like, have, have your goal, have your purpose and just like be understanding of yourself. Like, treat yourself as you would treat other people. That's what I always say. Just speak to people how you would like to be spoken to. I say that to my son all the time. If I was saying something to family or people working with people with autism, I'd say the most important thing, like hands down, most important thing you could ever do is validate. Because I think my life has been shaped by a lot of Invalidating experiences. And kind of whenever something's happened, it's been, well, you can't really feel that, or you can't really struggle with this thing, or you can't really do that. And I guess when you're autistic, there's so much focus on the things you can't do and what you're stressed about. You're under a microscope. So rather than saying, what's wrong? What are you doing this for? Stop doing that. Instead of all of that, when you first see that sign of stress, say, you look very stressed. I understand that something is making you very stressed and upset, and I want to help. And those words are actually so powerful in supporting someone. Like, it helped my friend with her son, like, no end, because it would stop him from actually hitting her. So rather than saying, stop swearing at me, which would then lead to him hitting her when she said, I can see you're really stressed. What's wrong? It gave him that opening to discuss it, which he couldn't get himself. So just acknowledging the feelings, you're teaching them feelings for a start, because you're giving it a name, and then you're helping them to understand that you're intervening because you want to help. You have to be that clear with them, really. Okay, so you talked about valendation. So you've won three championships. Can you just share with everyone what the three championships were and what did you win? My world championship. Yeah. So I won my first one in Spain in 2011. My second one was in Canada in 2012. The third one was Italy, 2013. And how did you feel when you won? Can you remember? I was really surprised because I'd had that goal to win since I was 13. Okay. And, like, at that moment, it was the kind of the moment I realized I could be successful. So it was quite powerful for me, really. I was kind of like, wow, did I win? I kind of just like, stepped off of the mat that you fight on, like, just like any other fight, and was kind of just like it was just another fight. Okay, so. So what age would you say if somebody was interested in kickboxing? Can you. Can you start at any age? Or would you recommend that if they're sort of say, five, six, seven years old, would that be a good age to start? Well, any age you can start, like, in terms of young ages. Like, what's the best time to start when you're young? That really depends on the child. Okay. If they can focus or not and how they can be supported into doing that. But Even if you're older, like, you can still give it a go. Yeah. There's veteran sections, so it's never too late. So what's next for you? Well, I guess really it's. I'm still kind of building on, like, rebuilding myself from last year and working through things and that kind of stuff, but I'm also involved with the Autism Partnership and stuff, so continuing training and those kind of things. I just want to say thank you very much. We could keep talking and you've given so much information and advice that people can take on board and take away and think about it. I'm just so pleased to see you're in a better place because obviously I knew that you were not in such a good place last year. So you're going to be writing an article which we're going to be sharing on the charity website. So I'll just remind everybody if they want to read it and look at some of the links. So it's www.anna Kennedy online.com. if anyone would like to ask questions of Joe or want to share any information again, just send us a message and we'll pass them on to Joe. There's lots of information on the website as well. So thank you very much, everyone, and thank you, Jo. Thanks for having me. Women's radio station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion. Connecting women around the world in a global network is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education. We aim to show the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and a platform for your voice. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, a UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalised service. This happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators. You can contact me on 078-254-12112 and Liz spelt L I S hazazelmaetravel.co.uk I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don't know where to start. @empowerandenrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me@empowerandenrich.org and let's change your future together. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntous.org.uk Let me tell you about German Street Theatre which this is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten, this is where careers ignite, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germanstreettheater.com. you're listening to Women's Radio station supporting women's well being. Coming soon will be a host of new shows supporting all areas of your well being. Shows that you can get involved in. So stay tuned. Womensradiostation.com here for you.