Get Booked – Marie Yates Author, Speaker And Social Entrepreneur

Hello, I'm Hazel and this is get booked here at our delicious studio in Covent Garden where we chat about everything to do with books, writing, bloggers, just reading, fans, a little bit of everything, all focused around mental health and mental well being. And I'm hugely happy to be chatting in the studio to Marie Yates. Hi, how are you? I am living the dream. Good morning. Living the dream. So you are an author? I am a speaker and a social entrepreneur, as the website says. Yeah, that's what I do best. And I've read one of your books. Hopefully there's three in the series, isn't there? Yeah, I've written other things as well, but in the Danny Moore trilogy, which I think you've read the first one of, there's three in that one. Yeah. Now what I quite liked about the first one is it's. I'm kind of jumping straight in here, but it was focused around how dogs can help you in your recovery. And we're going to go a little bit more into that a little bit later. But if you can just explain to our listeners what the Danny Moore trilogy is about. Okay, so it's about a teenage survivor of rape and sexual violence. And so Danny Moore is the main character and it starts as the court case ends. So it's really important to me that, you know, the event itself and what happened isn't a source of entertainment and it's not designed to be triggering, especially as it's written for young people, it's written for teenagers and it starts there and she starts her journey. It's her and her mom in a new place, starting a new school. It's all change. And of course they need a dog in their lives because who doesn't? And the whole idea of this started because I always wanted to be a writer. I did have proper jobs back in the day. Writing is a proper job. Yeah. Not anymore. No way. And I really wanted to do something. I'm a survivor myself. I was working with young survivors and I wanted to do something that made a difference to them, that sort of shared that life doesn't have to be all doom and gloom because you get some quite rubbish messages as a survivor quite often that, you know, life's over and this is going to be a lifelong journey of recovery. And while it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination and different people deal with things in different ways, that isn't my experience. And I am lucky. I'm really happy. I do what I love. I'm motivated and I really wanted to share that there's an alternative way with young people, but I'm, I'm not as young as I was. And listening to a sort of grown up telling you that life can be awesome is not really what teenagers want to listen to. I refuse to listen to. Yeah, just, you know, well, fair enough. I wouldn't have listened as a teenager either. And I just thought, well, there has to be another way to reach them. And so teenagers listen to other teenagers. And so I created a teenager in Danny Moore and she's able to sort of say things that I couldn't say because I'm no longer cool and groovy if I ever was. And I was writing it while my own rescue dog was sort of sitting there with me under the table. And after about a million screwed up pieces of paper, because I wasn't sure how to approach it or how to do it, I, I kind of looked at him and he, he is the Reggie in the book. So we, we lost him unfortunately last year, which is still difficult. So if I start crying, just bear with me. But probably would as well. Yeah, it still is still quite tough. But he's a rotty German shepherd Cross and I, I adopted him a long time ago when rotties were, you know, they kind of were what staffies are now in the media. It's all nonsense, but they didn't have a great reputation and people would cross the road to avoid me with him. They tell me all sorts of things about why I shouldn't have him. And it was the same as when I disclosed my survivor status. You know, people, they expected a certain behavior because of a label, exactly as they did with the Rottweiler label. And I just thought, what an amazing parallel, if I can sort of show that through adoption and through bringing a rescue dog into your world. And then looking at those parallels and then. So the book, the book happened and it, I was really lucky to get a publisher because as you can imagine, pitching a teen fiction trilogy about a rape survivor for teenagers isn't, you know, it's not the easiest thing in the world to do. So I'm hugely grateful to my publisher for taking a risk on me. And it's, it reached the final of the People's Book Prize and as a result we were able to take the message mainstream. And of course nobody really wanted to hear from me, which is totally understandable. And they wanted the dog. Of course they didn't want to hear from you. That actually surprises me. I've had cancellations since I lost him because they want him. So it's like, it's that kind of, well, bring the dog, you bring, bring the dog and then you can come. People are fickle. Well, and in fairness, I'd be the same. Well, yeah, so when he was there, when he was in the room, magic happened in a way that I can't even begin to explain. You know, he knew what to do, he knew how to reach people. And there's a safety for survivors with, you know, the, the touch and physical contact and things that you're often naturally very frightened of is very different when there's an animal in the room and they were able to interact and get that physical contact and touch and, you know, all of the positive things we know about. And so that's how everything, everything started. So my own rescue dog was really the catalyst for everything. Well, it's that great saying, isn't it? How do you know whether you can trust somebody? Well, if it purrs or barks, you're good. Definitely. And obviously I read the book and yeah, it is a tough topic, but I actually found it quite empowering. And it's not, I don't think it's just for. For teens as well. It's for, it's for parents who have gone through the same thing. Do you not think? Yeah, I have had. I'd love to think so. I think I, you know, I wrote it with that reader in mind and I, I'm, I'm pleased about how it's come across and I love that young people are learning from it. But I hear from a lot of women who are like, oh, I see myself in Danny as a child and I kind of look back and, and I can see the things that I did that Danny was doing. And, you know, we dropped in a couple of adult characters who were able to explain things in a way that a teenager wouldn't. And I love the auntie. Yeah, Jane. Yes. She's able to drop in those things that, you know, a teenager wouldn't say. And that, that has just been mind blowing for me and a real honor that people are reading it and the adults are reading it and also enjoying it. I think that, yeah, that's something I hadn't banked on, but something I'm incredibly grateful for. Do you think that's got quite a lot to do with how you are a self motivator because you've done something quite cathartic and empowering in yourself? I'd like to think so. I just like to think that people can realize there's another way and it's not, I'm not saying in any way that I have the answer. I don't think anyone can ever say that. But I have an answer. I have something that's worked for me and something that, that has developed from the books that we can, we can share this message that life can be awesome and it doesn't necessarily have to be as, as difficult. I think that the concept of recovery is quite a challenging one. But exactly what you've said about the book, which is music to my ears because that's exactly what I was aiming for, is that we can talk about these things and we can just be honest about the fact that actually life can be really good and we all have good days and bad days, regardless of our experience. But it's those, those small choices you make every day that if you make them in a way that is serving you, you take back control and you start to become autonomous and self motivated and, you know, all the things that surely we'd love to be in order to live our best lives. One, one other thing that I did take from the book, which I don't know whether it was intentional, I'm gonna say yes, of course, it was so multifaceted, is that regardless of what the exact topic was, there are quite a few teens that are dealing with lots of different kind of traumas or personal issues. And the fact that kids just unfortunately are quite inherently cruel sometimes. And I think it needed to be said that sometimes just making a snide remark or bullying somebody, which is never okay, is so dangerous in so many ways. It's not a case of just getting your fill of trying to, you know, find your place in the hierarchy of the school playground. It's. There's so many, I know a lot of gps and a lot of mentors in girls schools. And they are just, they're like, they are in the worst state ever. They are depressed. And we're not talking teenage blues. We're talking, you know, they're dealing with issues to do with Love island and things that were never even brought into the arena 10, 20, 30 years ago. And it's getting so much more prevalent and so much more dangerous that kids need to understand that bullying isn't part of growing up. It's dangerous. And that's what I thought the book helped bring to the fore. Thank you for saying that because it's something that I, you know, I'm heading towards 40. And certainly when I was a teenager, my experience of teenage life was fundamentally different to everything you've just described. So it was only because I was spending time with teenagers that I saw this other side and the whole, you know, social media and all of that sort of stuff that, you know, there are hundreds of debates about every day. But the reality of it is they're actually under so much pressure that just, you know, wasn't featured. I'm, I'm from a time when I got on the school bus to go home and I didn't talk to my friends until the following day. You know, that was my norm and they, yeah, the pressures that they're under and I, you know, some of my friends who are raising children and as they're getting older, some of the real dilemmas they have about how to explain these things to their children and how to try and keep their children safe while not inadvertently doing something that would then lead to bullying. Like, you know, not letting them have the phones and the social media and all the. It's a mind blowing. Yeah. We're going to have to just quickly go off to our first set of ads, but remind me to tell you about a conversation I had with my son just this morning. Right, we'll be back in a couple of minutes and we will still be chatting to Marie radio station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on Women's Radio station. Hello and welcome to future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on women's radio station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station supporting women's well being and we're talking all things autism women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Lauren Mishkon. I'm a birth doula and mum of three and I'm passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experiences. 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Hi, I'm Hazel Butterfield, a blogger, book lover and mental health advocate and you can listen to my show Get Booked here at Women's Radio station daily at 5am and 5pm throughout my shows, we'll talk about the books I've read, new releases channel to authors, publishers and book enthusiasts, all with a theme and aim of supporting women's emotional well being. If you have a book to tell us about, get in touch@presentersomensradiostation.com join me on my show and share my love of books and writing. Hi, I'm Valentina Barbacci and I'm the executive director of Media Matters for Women. We're a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts via broadcast on mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@mediamattersforwomen.org you're listening to Women's Radio Station Supporting women's well being. Women's Radio Station is creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter @WomensRadio station. That's Women's Radio STN or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs. Welcome back to today's Get Booked radio show. Supporting women's emotional well being, opening discussions and offering support by the incredible writers and listeners out there, one of which is on the line. And we've been chatting away to Marie and our conversation, that first section went so quickly, it did us off. I'm good. I'm good to go again. Let's go now. I was just saying before about the minefield of, you know, kids in school and whatnot. And I turned around to my son this morning, I said, can I borrow your phone? You've got an iPhone and I need it to go into work because we're doing our conversation now and my phone doesn't work with the systems here in the studio because it's a Samsung, other brands are available, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he went, and he looks really panicked. I went, what's wrong? It's a phone and it's one Day, just tell your mates five minutes before you leave that you're setting off. And he's like, well, yeah, but then I'm not going to be able to check when the. When the bus is coming back. I said, that's really not an issue. There's loads of buses. What is it? Because. Well, we all chat and kind of communicate on the way home and talk about, you know, we all come out at different times, otherwise we don't get to walk with each other. And it just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable not knowing I won't know where they all are. And I was like, well, that's a bit ridiculous. One day. Do you know what? People have survived for hundreds of years without phones? And he was genuinely worried and he wasn't mean or anything. And I was just like, that's ridiculous that you cannot do with your phone for one day. And he's like, yeah, but I'll be kept out of things. And they all swap, like, ideas and there's WhatsApp chats that we're all having fun on, and then we share data to do with some silly app that they're all on at the moment. And I was like, that's ridiculous. But also it is. If they're not on these phones, then they're kind of kept out of the loop. Yeah. And I think that's the fear, isn't it? It's the fear of. Fear of missing out. But it's something that we were so safe from, you know, that we didn't have to talk to people all night. So you had that complete switch off and you could just go back. Not that we did anything worth talking about, but, you know, you go back the next day and. And pick up where you left off and the thought of being in constant communication and worrying about the fact that, you know, if you're not, then what happens? That I find it quite scary. It's. Well, it is quite scary. I mean, what I find most relaxing. And I can't do this unless my kids are with me. Like, when we go on holiday and it's just me and my children, I quite often just leave my phone back in the room because I don't need my phone. I don't need to make sure that my kids can get in touch with me if something goes wrong. Yep. And I quite like it. Unless, obviously, we're sitting by a pool somewhere. Then obviously it's a perfect Instagram shot. And what kind of person doesn't share that online? I mean, me. But it is ridiculous. And we all have our different ways and means, but, you know, if you're not sharing, if you're not connected, if you're not getting likes and there's all these different, you know, the pressure, isn't it? So much pressure. The pressure of just not getting a. Like, from a picture, from a friend when they're like everybody else's again, it's. It's bonkers. I think. I think it's so far. I don't have children. I think it's so far removed from my understanding of growing up and all of that. I just. When I immersed myself in Teenage World, it was like. Like I'd landed on a completely different planet. It was. It was unbelievable. The. The pressure that they're under and that constant contact that, you know, literally if somebody, you know, gone out with their family for an evening and didn't comment on someone else's picture, they thought they'd fallen out. And I thought I couldn't live under that level of pressure, but that is the level of pressure and it's something that goes. It's higher and higher and they don't even know what it is. And I've said to them that when they go to their dad's every other weekend, they are allowed a lot more screen time than what they're allowed with me. And it's. It's no dissimilar. Different parents do different things and because they're not used to it, then for the day afterwards, they're really. They're kind of high and it's bonkers. And they even see it themselves now. They're like, oh, right, yeah. So we play board games on a Sunday evening to kind of, oh, I love that. Control, alt, delete. But it works. It got to a stage where their school was saying on a Monday, they're a bit wired, but only every other Monday. It's really weird. I was like, yeah, this is the situation. So we sit down, we have a meal and we play silly board games and it resets them. Yeah, it's a bit like switching off your computer is literally. You're flooding yourself with. With chemicals because it's. That it is fight, flight, freeze in action. Which is. You know what? We're sort of. The whole. The whole premise of what we talk about is about. But it's. It. Because your brain doesn't know what's real and what isn't. So if you're worrying about something online, the fear is real. So the. The chemical response is real. So of course they'll be wired, you know, and it's I think the more we understand this, the more we can, we can look at and track our behavior. And that's, that's so, you know, without, without getting boring in the book, which was not the aim. It was just trying to understand that and understand what teenagers are going through in a way that I didn't really understand before I started. When did you start writing these books? So that was back in about 2012, 2013. I started with the first one, so I was quite late to. Actually I was, I was one of many people who was told to just go and get a proper job and, you know, writing's for fun. And you know, I think here hundreds of people who say that, which is not true. People. The more you do what you love, the more likely you are to be successful. That's true. So, yeah, it was, it was in my early 30s, after a nudge from my fabulous grandma that I started writing. Oh, bless her. Now, is the grandma very similar to the grandma in the Danny Moore series? No, not at all. Actually, my grandparents, they've both passed away in the last few years, but they were just phenomenal, absolutely phenomenal and huge role models to me especially. My grandpa was just gorgeous, as grandpas are. But my grandma was a real independent, strong woman and bucked the trend throughout her whole life. So, you know, was, was a working mom and was, was, you know, doing all the things that, that weren't, weren't the done thing when, when she was younger. And so she always challenged me really to, to sort of do things differently and do the best I can. So. No, she's not, she's not at all like the grandma in the book. Definitely. She's, she was a legend, absolute legend. That's brilliant. So it's very much lead by example. Definitely. Yeah, definitely. Without a doubt. And she was, yeah, she was the catalyst for me starting to write. Definitely. It's quite interesting that you say that actually, and I've said this in a previous show, possibly I think it was a month or two ago that my grandma, who is still alive, she's got Alzheimer's and dementia and she's 94, but she had four children and she was a magistrate and she ran a mental health unit and she pretty much took off maybe two months after each child and she was your. Even now she would be considered as a high profile working mum. Yeah. And they're just, they're so inspiring and I think when you look at it in the context of the time they were growing up in, it's even more inspiring so it's. Yeah, having awesome role models is so important but the thing is my mum did the same as well and so I was kind of brought up that way. And you know, I have quite a few different jobs and I see things slightly differently. I guess you're probably quite similar to me in that you get on with things and you do things and you try and self motivate and everything. And there are some people that kind of don't get it and think you're a bit unique, like. No, I'm just, it's just the way that's how I was taught to think. Yeah, just how you're wired, isn't it? Yeah, crack on or don't. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. And what are the other books? You said you've written other books as well? Yes, I've got the trilogy. I co wrote a book with a fabulous friend of mine, a lady called Chris Kent, who we may well talk about this, I don't know, but also runs a social business working with dogs. So we often get phone calls from people to say, oh, how you know, I want to do what you do. Because all they see is like the 2% of what we do, which is hanging out with dogs and having an awesome time, not the 98% of the actual work that we do. And so we thought we'd write a book rather than keep taking phone calls. So we did that together, which was a lot of fun. And for the social enterprise, I've just written a children's book again obviously with a canine character in there. And that's looking at, it's for five, six year olds to try and instill some positive core beliefs because our core beliefs are with us from about the age of six. That's it, they're in. Start an adult. Yeah, so we're starting with sort of like be brave and believe in yourself and I'm doing my best and you know, the things I would love for young people to have instilled because I think, I think, you know, when you grow up and you hear yourself saying things, you think, where did that come from? Those are your core beliefs and that's, that's what you base your decisions on. And to think that young people could start by thinking, actually I'm going to do my best. That's it really. So we've, we've started that as well. Interestingly, I'm just, I'm just going to interject there. There's a lady that I'm going to be interviewing in the next month or so, Nicola Vivian, who's written a book about how she didn't understand what was happening to herself when she was younger and there was a lot of mental health issues. And if children understood mental health a little bit more and their own mental health, then they'd be able to discuss it and verbalize exactly what's going on in their heads a bit more, which, and then they wouldn't, it wouldn't develop into loneliness and then their issues kind of coming out somewhere else or projected elsewhere and that we should be teaching children from an early age to understand their own minds. Couldn't agree more. And I think there's so, you know, like the lady you just mentioned, there are people who are turning these things into books because regardless of the technology and everything else, books are still magic. You know, they, they can open conversation. You can, you can disappear into the safety of your room and kind of immerse yourself in a whole new world. I could agree more. That is so magic, isn't it? That's why I have a show about it. Yes, it's escape, it's living somebody else's life. It's opening your mind, it's learning something. It's a little bit of everything. And for people who are listening going, I just can't read a book. There is audible or do you know what, get somebody else to read you a likes reading. There's so many different ways of just, just bringing these stories into our world or you end up like Harry Potter and there's just millions of films and you get to experience it. Anyway, we're coming to the end of our second half again already. I feel like we should have extended this show to being at least two or three hours. So we're going to go to thanks and Mads and we'll be back in a couple of minutes. I've got so many more questions for you. Marie. 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Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntous.org.uk welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's well being. Women's radio station can give voice to your brand. With a wide range of sponsorship opportunities, including individual programs. We can tailor your experience for you. For more information on how you can sponsor a Show, go to womensradiostation.com Women's radio station supporting women's well being. Welcome back to the second half of today's Get Booked. I'm Hazel Butterfield and we have been chatting away to Marie who is still with us and we have got so much to discuss. I am. I'm loving this. I've not even touched on my questions yet. This happens every single time. I always have questions just in case. You know, sometimes you get somebody who's like a little bit scared and they kind of answer with one word answers. But I haven't even looked at my questions yet and I feel like I want to hit me with a Question. Yeah. Would that make you feel better? Yeah. Yeah. If that's all right. Good. Okay, let's go. What three tips would you give to our listeners for mental health and mental well being? Can be to do with anything. To do with anything. Well, I think we'll go with. Tip one will be from Dogs Got to Be, and that would be to live in the moment and stay curious. Because if you're curious, you. You're open to opportunities. We'll go second tip from, of course, Danny Moore trilogy, where every. I love journaling. And it's something that, obviously the book is a journal, so we're. We're all about journaling. And that is every day to look at your success, what you've done well, what your goals are, so you're working towards them, and big one, gratitude. So tip two from Danny Moore trilogy, and then we'll go, because I've got to give Luna a mention, who is our mascot for our social enterprise. And that is just to do your best, to be brave, believe in yourself, and do your best. I love that. And the thing about journaling is that sometimes things are all in your head and it's so muddled, and it kind of confuses us, and it can make us feel a little bit more anxious. You write it down. It's not muddled anymore. Mm. And it's sometimes a bit of a reminder. And sometimes you can look back and say, oh, wow, I was in a terrible state. I don't feel like that anymore. And nobody sees it. So you don't have to worry about your writing or whether it makes sense or any. You can literally just have a brain dump. And it's quite a cathartic thing to do. I'm a huge fan of it. Do you know what? One of my best presents at Christmas, what I do is I say to my kids, right, you've got 20 quid each. We all go shopping. Well, we say I go and sit and have a cocktail somewhere in a bar, but I'm in town with my kids so that I'm only five minutes away if they need me. And I'm like, you go get surprise gifts for whoever you want. Your friends, your dad, you know, whatever you want it to be. And it's something that they know is just something that they know about. It's a surprise. It's something for them to get excited about. And they actually bought me this incredible journal. And I was like. And it's. And I was like, this is brilliant. I absolutely love it. Yeah, but, mom, you write all the Time. You love it. So we just wanted you to have a nice book at the side of your bed. Not only did they know I did it, but they appreciated how important it was to me. And that thought is incredible, isn't it? You've got to take that as a win on awesome parenting right there. Winning. Yeah. But to get that as a gift because they've acknowledged it, that's amazing. Yeah, I absolutely love it. And it's got coloured lines inside as well. It's like a rainbow book. I love it. Definitely a win on the stationery. Yeah. Yeah. And another question. We're gonna do another question and then we're just gonna go in chin wag again, because I was quite enjoying that. Do you have any future topics of books that you're going to write? The one I'm working on at the moment is more of a survivor's perspective. So kind of the Art of Surviving. How to. So everything I've learned over the last few years, and obviously there will be dogs in there as well, but looking at how you can tangibly make a change, how it doesn't have to be a lifelong journey, you know, it's just those small changes and that's what I'm working on at the moment, so I'm excited about that. And you know what? Sometimes people get overwhelmed by the fact that they are told that they need to do this, this and this. But do you know what? That there's. There's a bigger picture out there, but sometimes just a tiny little step then moves on to the next step and, you know, but in the moment, that's all you've got, isn't it? That. That's. That's it, you know, so it's, it's the. It's just like taking back control of that. There is no end game. It's just those small decisions and the. The simplification of it is. Is the magic of working with dogs. Because you. It's fun and you can see it and you can see all that magic happening. But. But, yeah, I just think there's. It's back to that pressure again, isn't it? That there's so much pressure that if we just strip it back and make those tiny changes and tiny decisions every day, that's. That's about as simple as it can get, you see? And I'm a huge dog fan. I mean, we are talking that, you know, if I can't walk past a dog, I have to say hello. Even if I just say hello, if I don't even think that I can get close enough to stroke it. I say hello to the dog. With the dogs and the human's permission, of course. Well, yes, of course, of course. But if you're not in a situation where you think you can get the permission, then I actually wave at the dog. No, that's okay. That's the kind of person. I have, a beagle. So, you know, I'm not a normal person. Everyone believes they have the best dog and everyone is right. Exactly, exactly. Beagles aren't real dogs. They think they're human. I would challenge you on that. But, yes, they are awesome. They are awesome. Oh, do you. Do you. Do you think they're. They know their dogs? I'm pretty sure they're dogs. Yeah, they know the dogs. Oh, all right. So they're just messing with me. Sorry to break it to you. I'm sorry to break it to you. Yeah. Your dog is basically just taking the mick out of you right now, but, yes. So join the club. So does the cat, so do the kids. You name it. Yeah, we haven't got a business based on them. The lessons from cats, because I adore cats. I have cats. But the lessons from cats are very different. Oh, they are. It's like, give me food and I will not wreck your curtains. Yeah. And then just step away. I might still wreck your curtains because I forgot, possibly it wasn't quite the right amount of food, but I love it. And that's if they want that particular food that day, frankly. Yeah. They are amazing, aren't they? Yeah, they're interesting. Cats, dogs, kids. Yeah, it's a little bit like a circus in my house, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We're only cats and dogs, but, yeah, it's a circus, a calm circus, as much as we can. Yeah, fair enough. Can you tell me a little bit more about the social enterprise? So when I. When I said earlier about magic happening on the workshops, that was the start of a social enterprise. So I had. I had no idea what social enterprise was or anything at all. So it's. It all happened by accident. But the more I was going and doing sort of author visits and talks and stuff with the dogs, more I. I saw the magic and I wanted to. I wanted to understand why. So I was a. I was a dog lover. I obviously had my own dog, but I didn't really understand how the magic was happening. And people would ask, you know, well, how do you get him to do certain things? I thought, I've got absolutely no idea. He's luck not judgment. So I went and became. And I learned about dog training, dog behavior, obviously, all force free. And I'm a member of the Institute of Modern Dog Trainers now, so that I could, I could really understand it. I don't like not knowing the answers to questions. And I think it's really important if you're, you know, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, that you've, you've taken the time to learn as much as you can about, about the subject, if you're asking them to trust you. So all of that came into play and I went through this entire journey and the more that I learned about the science behind how dogs learn and how dogs are and their behavior, everything else, the more I could see the synergy with rescue dogs, especially when you're talking about overcoming trauma in whatever sense of the word. And that's how the social enterprise started. So it started as a very simple, you know, we do training and behavior stuff and that would pay for our Canine Hope workshops, which is the signature workshop where we work with a rescue dog and survivors of rape and sexual violence. So we go into the charities and work with them and it's just kind of grown and grown and grown since then. So we've got that, that will always be the reason we exist. But we've got various programs for people to get involved with their own dogs. We've got workshops and corporate workshops about stress in the workplace. And I take a rescue dog with me to everything. A genuine rescue dog who's looking for a home. We have, yes, we rock up in offices around the country with rescue dogs. And can I just take that as a tenuous link? Our most recent rescue dog, Bella from Hillbrae Rescue center in Telford, is still looking for a home, which is ridiculous because she is phenomenal. And so she is on my social media all over the place at the moment. So by being part of the workshops, they get to learn new things and we get to learn new things about them which make them more rehomable. And it helps the rescue centre then because they know what they're like in different situations. And for us, the most important thing is that the dog benefits as well. I think we just need to bring to people's attention that they sometimes see that there's a dog that needs rehoming and they assume that because they're so cute or brilliant that somebody's already got in there. Always ask, just always check. Yeah, definitely. And I mean, obviously rescue centres all around the country, but there's so Many that are looking for a home and they are perfect as humans, imperfectly perfect, just as they are. And they're awesome. Just awesome. So, yeah, always check. Always check. Rescue and big shout out for Bella, who is a legend. Bella rocks. Just while people are listening as well, I just want to point out that your website, maria-yates.co.uk. so people can go on there and connect with all of your different socials and they can then see what, what dogs are out there and who, who is the cutie Labrador? Oh, which one? Next to the big check. Next to the big check. Oh, that was. That's actually a staff member's dog at Purina. We were the finalists in a European prize last year led by Purina. So that was an awesome opportunity. You know that sort of bucket list thing of holding the big check. Finally got to do that. So, yes, that was Callum, who was my mentor for the, for the event. He works for Purina. And that was taken at their offices and they have awesome offices because you take your dog in. So they take their dogs to work and we stole one for a photo. I actually, I work at another studio as well on Fridays and I always take my dog in with me and I quite often check with guests. I'm like, are you all right with dogs who are like, owie? Yes. Yeah. And if not, then they don't get to come in, I assume. Well, exactly. There was actually. I had somebody in a studio the other day and she was sitting there with my dog on her lap while she was singing. And I was going, are you sure you're okay with this? Living their best life. Look at that. But dogs are. There are so many people out there that don't like dogs and that's totally, totally fine. But you know, you're never alone and you've got someone to chat to and they very rarely talk back. It depends. I mean, she talks a lot to the Tesco man and to anybody who rings the doorbell, as is her. Right, yeah, yeah. Right. 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Join us on Instagram and Twitter @WomensRadio station, that's Women's Radio STN or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programmes. Hello, welcome back to the final section of today's Get Booked, with me chatting away to Marie Yates, who is still on the line. I am indeed loving this. Just in the break, then I was chatting away to the producer just waxing lyrical about dogs. You must have this where basically you go somewhere and you're trying to talk to them about the social enterprise, just to talk about the dogs and the work that you do and everyone's just going, who's a voo? I love dogs. Who's a voo? Hello, darling. Yes, all the time. But that's good because it's starting conversations and it's. Well, it is kind of the point, you know, they just make life better, don't they? So that is. That's awesome. That's awesome. As far as I'm concerned, a question that I do have for you is, I mean, do you read a lot yourself? Of course, yes. I don't think anyone can write without making time to read to. To totally steal an almost quote from the wonderful Stephen King. But, yeah, you have to. Of course you do. Yeah. I mean, I read about two or three books a week and it kind of keeps me out of trouble. But I'm also a huge Netflix and I'm a northerner at heart, so Coronation street in Emmerdale. So you've really got a balance. Sorry, eastenders as well. You know, I don't understand soaps. I don't understand them. So I'm all about the books. Well, this is why I like to level it out. It's all about a balanced life. Definitely. Yeah. Well, what's my point? There. There was something, I'm sure I had asked me about my three favorite books. There you go. That's exactly where I was going. Totally blown my brains. But yes. So, yeah, your three favorite books. Well, I can't do it. So what I've done is I've changed the rules slightly. I've got a bonus book that is so short, I'm hoping you'll let me have three and a half. And I've just picked my three favorite from, like the last couple of months because it's just. It's just ridiculous to think of three favorites, isn't it? I couldn't do it, but yeah, I feel bad that I ask other people. Like, my most recent three favorites. The first one is Diana Nyad's Find A Way. She is an American open water swimmer and it's her story. I love personal stories because I think there's. There's so Much to learn from people's experiences. And she is somebody who. She defines tenacity and resilience, and she is phenomenal. So read that one. The next one, destroyed Me on so many levels, is called When Breath Becomes Air. And it's. Oh, have you read that? I've heard about it, but please do. Oh, it's. It's unbelievably heartbreaking and beautifully well written. And it's. It's incredible. It's about a story of a doctor who, you know, without giving away the ending, he passes away from cancer. And it's his story, which is. Oh, cry. Just talking about it. And that's what reading is about. It is. We just. Oh, it's. It's so inspiring and heartbreaking. And then my wife told me that I had to have a fiction in there as well. She's like, you can't. I'm always reading sort of like Brenny Brown and all of, you know, all of the ones that I love. So my fiction one, of course, has a dog in it, and it's the Friend by Sigrid Nunez, which I hope I have pronounced correctly. And it's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. She. She acquires a Great Dane after her friend of hers passes away. And it's, you know, a similar theme to everything I talk about, about how the dog impacts her life. But it's a. It's a beautiful, beautiful book. It's a National Book Award winner. So, you know, but it's. It's brilliant. So I. I kind of went for those three. And my bonus, which is always on my list, is Jonathan Livingston Seagull, which I think should be on everyone's must read list. Is this the half one? It's the. It's the. It's my bonus one. Yeah. It's so tiny. It's such a tiny, tiny book. Is it really? It was given to me years and years and years ago. And. Yeah, so it was a gift. It was gifted to me. And it's something that I turn to quite a lot. And I've read. I can't even tell you how many times I've read it. And it's. Yeah, it's just something that everyone needs in their life, I think. So it's a book you can read again and again. I do, yes. All the time. And what was the name of the author again? Because I'm writing this down. Jonathan Livingston. I need to find my notes, but if you Google it, you'll find it in a second. Yeah. No, because the thing is, I sit there Kind of saying to people, read this book. Loved it. It's about this. It's about this. If this is what you're wanting to experience in your reading journey, then you need to go for this one and this one. But I like to hear from other people as well. It's not a dictatorship, but you'll never. Friend of mine, we're. We're. We both love reading. Carly and she always takes me to Foyles. I very rarely go to London. She lives in London. And when I do, she takes me to Foyles and we spend hours and hours in there and then we just sit there thinking we're never going to have enough time to read all the books we want to read. You couldn't. You just can't. You just have to keep. Just keep going. Whatever it is that kind of grabs your attention, just pick it up and read it. Well, what I quite often do, especially in the holidays when my kids come into the. The studio and they'll eat there. Actually, the last time they came in, my eldest did one of the sections with me and chatted about certain books that he's been reading as well. But we. Near to the studio in Covent Garden, there is an absolutely excellent Waterstones, one of those kind of flagship five stories where they will just sit in there for hours and sometimes I just sit on one of the sofas and read a book while they just work their way through it. And they. They do a lot of things. They do play on their iPads, they do this, that and whatever. But they do love their books and they go for it and I'll just sit there and sometimes I'll just get myself a coffee. They have the best days, book days. I love it. It's like, you know, and this is what. There are a lot of chains out there, some of them that I'm not a huge fan of, but Waterstones is huge and I still think it's brilliant. Foyles is fantastic. There's some great local independents, but the big ones as well, where they hire people who are actually passionate. And there's really. I live just in southwest London and there's a tiny little branded store there and you go in and you speak to the woman behind the desk and she know you say, I fancy a book and I want it to have a bit of this and a bit of that, but I need. I need to be having a bit of a giggle and she'll go, this one, this one, this one, this one, this. You know, she knows her stuff. She's not just Somebody who's clocking in and clocking out. And they like that. I love that. See, that's how you find the ones that you would never find by yourself. That's how you get them, isn't it? Yeah. That's why we should be sharing. This is why I decided to do a show just about books and reading and writing. Genius idea. Yes. One thing, I mean, we've got less than five minutes of today's show. I can't believe how quickly it's gone by. But I really want to talk about your work and resilience. Okay. That might take longer than five minutes. I know you're gonna have to really summarize this. So what we love to do is we work with and through rescue dogs. So there's never a good story why a dog is in rescue. And yet when people meet them, they see actually they're okay. They're okay and they're literally living in the moment. And they have so much potential and their story is always part of the journey because we can see that there is a really obvious way to get to happy, resilient, bounce back ability, lifestyle. And I know that before we talked about recovery being a bit of a strange concept. And for me it was that there were times when I thought I'd kind of failed because I wasn't better in inverted comments. But it's a bit of a myth that we all have bad days and it's about those small choices and that's what we do in our work with resilience. Because when you're working with a dog and training a dog, it's all about small changes and incremental changes and knowing what your end game is. So that's what you're focused on and it's fun. And as soon as it's fun, you take the pressure off. So you kind of change happens. You've got to deal with that. And even if you think that you know the worst thing that has happened to you, and that's kind of what the point was about Danny Moore trilogy, you think that the worst thing that can happen has happened. And there's almost that bit of you that thinks, well, nothing can get worse than this actually, life still happens, you know, there's still stuff to deal with. So. And you learn humility. Yeah, absolutely. And, and learning to deal with that change is important. So learning about how you know the brain responds so you're not, it's not. There's no shame or blame in responding in a certain way because you understand how that is and you can see that in dogs in a way that you can't see in humans because we've learned to, you know, mask it and pretend everything's okay and, you know, everything that is part of the human condition. And so all of our work on resilience and bounce back ability and just knowing that everything can be okay is something that can be taught with and through dogs in a way that we just can't do as humans. And it's pure magic. And hopefully you'll agree with me on this that failure is not a bad thing. It's a learning curve. People who don't fail at anything, you're like, no, I think you have that moment. Don't you think? I wish that I'd gone better. But that is resilience in action, isn't it? If you just kind of go, okay, so what can I do differently next time? Why did that go horribly wrong? And what could I do to make it better? It's just part of the game, isn't it? And there are various people I look up to and I've had the pleasure of working with mentors and they've kind of helped to teach me that as well. Is that it's, you know, I think running your own business, it's a, it's a daily lesson in learning to do it better the following day. Self employed. Resilience, taking knockbacks, self motivation. Yeah, it's a daily occurrence and I think, you know, taking those lessons and, and making them fun and making them relatable, it's a real privilege to be able to do that. I totally agree. Do you know what? I've absolutely loved chatting to you today. I feel like we should have another show. That would be amazing. We'll talk about some of your other books and maybe bring in a dog coming to like to do that maybe next time that you're in London and then we can kind of. My producer's ferociously nodding his head going, we just want to see the dog that is doable. Definitely bring in a variety. We'll have people waiting outside Garden Studios going, this is gonna be careful what you wish for because I'm sure the rescue centre is nodding, saying, they'll bring them all. Yeah, bring them all, bring them all in. Yeah, yeah, it's been fantastic. Yeah, it's been absolutely delightful speaking to you. I've really enjoyed. We've covered so many different topics as well and I just hope it helps somebody. And just a quick reminder everybody to go and check out Marie's website. Maria-yates.co.uk. sorry. You're very, very welcome. But I'll also make sure that will put lots of details out there as well and I'll put your books up on the website in our resources. I really appreciate that. And so everybody, you have been listening to Hazel Butterfield and my guest Marie. And this is get booked. You can catch up with me every day at 5am and 5pm Have a great day. Welcome to the women's radio station. Supporting women's well being. Women's Radio station is always about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education and most importantly, women's well being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website womensradiostation.com for more information. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. 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