Get Booked – Miranda Roszkowski, 100 Voices 280322

You are listening to Get Booked with me, Hazel Butterfield, for Women's and Men's Radio Station. Welcome to today's show. Get Booked is all about talking to authors, chatting about anything and everything books related, all the joy, enlightenment, and escape that good books can provide. Sit back, let us entertain you with a different guest each week, sharing who they are, what they do, and what inspires them. On today's show, we're going to be discussing 100 Voices by Miranda Raskowski. You can find out more at 100voicesfor100years.com. Uh, 100 years after getting the vote, 100 female writers share their story. Now, this is a fantastic selection of voices talking about their own achievements relevant to them. We're all different, different goals, different backgrounds. History, challenges, and priorities. It doesn't have to be big, it just has to matter to us. The variety of such stories in this book gives a great scope of ideas for us to identify with and appreciate of others, to help us recognize our own achievements, as too often we get caught up in the comparative nature of the achievements of other people, that is, regularly completely irrelevant. We need to recognize what we like about ourselves, sing our own praises, focus on what we have achieved, and use that to spur us on. We've come so far in 100 years, and yet still there is further to go, which will be a constant challenge as the world changes around us. But women are strong, and books like this remind us of this when media panic and the less appealing side of society tries to tell us otherwise. Mental health is such a prevalent topic right now, and a lot of it can be attributed in some way to the feelings of failure and loneliness. And 100 Voices shares and promotes our successes. It's about women, but do you know what? It is absolutely for everyone. And here with us now is Miranda to chat to us. Hi, Miranda. Hello, Hazel. You couldn't see me nodding then, but I was right with you. That's a perfect intro. Thank you. Oh, do you know what? I went completely to town. When I'm writing, as I'm reading books like this, I keep on making notes because, you know, when something just comes into your head and you just think, "Oh my goodness, that is so poignant," and I must make sure I remember to kind of mention that. And, you know, there's such a variety of stories that it kind of incites different things, especially things like the death slide, it kind of reminds you of things in your youth that kind of paved the way for how you are now, and it's important, it's these sort of things that kind of, a bit like how I said we're all different, you know, different things matter to us, and I love that this book, I mean it does actually say in your section that you've written that you were quite surprised that it wasn't all bungee jumps and getting PhDs, it's just people doing normal things that they're just proud of, and even if it's just making a tomato seed grow, it's an achievement and it's made them happy. That is exactly it, you know, I wanted to have such a big collection of stories as well, so it's 100, it's actually 105 bonus, because there were so many stories I really wanted to cram them in, but it's exactly about that. I think the variety of the stories, and as you said, so there's the death slide, that's from one of our younger writers. She was only 17 when she wrote it, so I guess she was, you know, thinking about her more recent experiences as being a child. And it's about seeing this kind of— I remember exactly the same sort of thing when I was a kid, a sort of vertical slide, and she has to ask her granddad to hold her over the edge and let her go because she's too scared, but she knows she can't miss the opportunity to take that risk. And I just love that story. Story. And then on the other hand, you've got people in their 70s writing in the book. And one that I wanted to mention to you particularly is by Jude Higgins, and it's called Other People. And it's all about like that community that you build throughout your life, but, you know, still coming across people and drawing strength from them, feeling comfortable on your own and in your own solitude, but when you want to, reaching out. That is the kind of the beauty of the book. It has something for everyone. They're short pieces, and that means you can sort of dip in and find that inspiration for whatever you need in that moment. I really love the idea that people might have it on the bookshelf, and when they need a bit of, like, I don't know, resilience or a laugh, they'll just go, "Oh yeah, I'll turn to that story." And I think that will be such such a proud moment for me if that's what happens. But yes, I think it will happen. I mean, there's so many stories in here that we can identify with where we've not had the same thing. Maybe we didn't learn how to make lemon curd, but maybe we did learn how to make something else. And, you know, also it kind of sent me on a little bit of a trip down memory lane. It's things like this where it reminds us actually of, of our own achievements, because I remember actually doing a bungee jump, and I was very similar to the death slide scenario where I just couldn't jump, and I knew I would be so annoyed with myself if I didn't do it. And I actually told the guy on the crane to push me, and he said, he's like, I'm not allowed to push you, if something happens it's actually manslaughter. And I said, yeah, but there's only you and me up here. And he went, you're right, and he pushed me. And it was brilliant, but the exhilaration I felt from doing it made sure that whenever I was faced with that situation again. And trust me, I have done some pretty incredible things. You know, I've got such a thing for heights. I have done even kind of horizontal bungee jumps and jumped out of planes and things like that. And it's that moment that reminded me that I needed a bit of a push, but then it made me realize just how good it is. And it spurred me on to do more things and have a bit more faith in myself. And it's just stories like this that just remind us that, you know, Sometimes we can sit there and just go, I'm not doing anywhere near as good as so-and-so on Instagram who I used to go to school with. But then you read these 105 stories and you go, actually, I've done that. I did that. Oh, I did something like that too. I should be really proud of myself. And that's what we need. Yeah, I totally agree with you. And, and, and the book, so it's 100 stories of achievement by different women. And the reason that I wanted it to be of achievement is because I think that we don't, we don't really hear those stories, see those stories. Of women being proud very often. I mean, we as Brits anyway, we don't really like to talk about things we've achieved that much, I think, but particularly as women. And so uncouth, isn't it? It is, it's just brash, isn't it? But we've got to do it, we've got to do it. And the reason that we have to do it is because in the moments where we feel like we're not achieving, we can look back at those other times and draw strengths from them, and as you said, you know, you remember, oh, actually, I could do it. And making the book, I thought it was really interesting because I— because we started way back in 2018. It was a podcast and marking that 100-year anniversary of the first women getting the right to vote in the UK. And what I did was set myself a challenge of broadcasting 100 stories from the 6th of February, which is that anniversary, and it lasted until May. And every day would be a different writer talking about achievement. And at the beginning, I really didn't know that many people who were writers who would do it. So it was quite a challenge for me. And but it just made me, it pushed me, like your man on the bungee jump. It actually pushed me to approach people and talk to them and ask them to be in that book. There was this, one of my favorite stories is that I was in the swimming pool once. That's another place that is my, you know, my place for thinking and doing stuff. Maybe we'll talk about that later. But, and there was somebody out there on the phone talking to their mum, I think, talking about being a writer. And when they finished on the phone, I turned to them and I said, "Oh, I overheard you say you're a writer. I don't suppose you'd be interested in this project." And that is Sophie Haydock, and she's actually just published a book called The Flames this week, and I think it's going to be huge. And she is such a great writer, and I was very fortunate to to meet her, and also very fortunate that she didn't mind me standing there. I think I was naked at the time, just asking heavy questions. So yeah, that's how it all came about. But in the process then, it's been a couple of years of crowdfunding the book, and since then I think the writers have gone through, like I have, quite a lot of changes in their life. So coming back to edit it, I would say, okay, can you submit your story again, maybe make a few tweaks or just tidy it up for the book? And a lot of people said, oh, I really find it hard to relate to this person that felt so proud in that moment in 2018. And I often had to sort of convince them that that was still them, you know, that they had done all those things. They hadn't gone away, whatever had happened to them in the meantime. And I know one person found that that was actually quite helpful, I think. And more recently, I was chatting to someone else who re-shared their story, I think it was on Twitter, that she'd recorded in 2018. She said she really needed to remind herself. It was like a love letter to herself from the past. And I just, I really like that idea that by making those lists of things that you're proud of, you can look back in those hard times and remember it. It's really hard though when you're feeling down to remember the good things. Now, I've, I've had friends, the most incredible strong women who have these incredible careers, and she's just, you know, they'll sit there just going, I'm a failure, I haven't got this, I haven't got that, I haven't got a boyfriend, which is one that I completely look at her with disdain at. Uh, um, and I'm like, but sweetheart, you can do— you're the fittest person I know, your kids are happy and healthy, you have got so many friends, I hardly even get to see you, you're surrounded by people, you're constantly being asked out on dates, and you choose to go out with your friends because they're more fun, and that's— and that's— reeled off all these things completely, very easily, and she just went, "Oh yeah, fair enough, when you put it that way, yeah, I'm doing really well," and I was just like, why do we so— when we get in that headspace, it's like we need to write it all down and have it in our wallet ready, the 10 best things about ourselves, Yes, definitely, I totally agree with that. I think, yeah, hopefully all of your listeners will do that, write that list, keep it in your wallet. Well, actually, one of the really good books I read recently was 30 Things I Love About Myself. Have you heard of that one? I haven't heard of that one. No, no. It's actually, it's supposed to be fiction, but I suspect it is hugely based on reality, and it's by Ratika Sankarani, and it's written by somebody who is the spitting image of the person she's describing in the book. She kind of wakes up, she's from quite a strong, highly religious family, and she wakes up on her 30th birthday in a prison cell because she accidentally, when going out to go and get a falafel wrap, ended up in some sort of weird protest. And so she didn't run when the police came, and they just didn't believe that she wasn't part of the protest. And she reads this book about, you know, appreciating who you are. And then she decided that she was going to search for 30 things that she loved about herself because everything was just going wrong in her career and her life. And her mum kept on saying how she was a bit of a failure because at 30 she's an embarrassment because she's not married and she's not got kids and da da da da. And it's just, it's the theory of just writing what you like about yourself and actually asking people, what do you like about me? We need to do it. We need to know what these things are. I said, "Oh, I'm definitely going to get that book. It sounds amazing." And I totally agree with you, but sometimes it is easier to hear it from someone else, isn't it? So, but you've got to be in the headspace where you can like accept that and actually go, "Yeah, you know what? That is right. You're saying all these good things about me and I will listen." Because sometimes again, we sort of dismiss it and, "Oh no." But But I really like that, you know, like you were saying, that novelist who's under pressure because she's not married and she hasn't got kids. And, you know, those things are really important to lots of people's lives, but they're not necessarily what you should measure yourself against, you know. And as you say, everyone's different and we all find that we come to these things, you know, at the right time. I can definitely relate to that though. I got married last year at 38. And I think there was a time in my sort of mid-30s where I thought, I'm never going to find anyone and all of this. But, but, you know, things were going quite well in the rest of my life. And if I did just stop to reflect on that and, and it was only when, when I forgot to, you know, care about those things that I found somebody who I really related to. And, you know, we get on so well and that's, that's the best form of a relationship. And prior to that, I'd just been sort of trying to trying to find a relationship, I suppose, and not really thinking about, do I like this person a lot? The thing is, is when you try too hard, and it's hard, it's a nightmare, but you— whenever you hear of people who have given up and they don't really want to find a partner anymore, or they realize that they do prefer to spend time with their friends, or quite frankly dogs are more fun to hang out with on a Friday night, that's— it's kind of— people find that more attractive. I don't know whether there's a less, less of an air of desperation or whatever, but people who are happy and satisfied are like catnip, I guess, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, definitely. I suppose that's the irony. If you're not feeling great, it's not very helpful. But, um, I tell you what, who, um, says this very well is Marianne Keys. She's got, um, a podcast. Have you heard it? It's so great. It's like an acne thing. Yeah. And, um, and, and they, they deal with this kind of question very, very well, always. So, uh, yeah, I definitely recommend anyone who's feeling low about relationships to listen to their podcast, and I'm sure that you will, you will be lifted up. But, um, there's— oh, I'm just thinking about like Matters of Love. There's a couple of really good stories in 100 Voices, but my favorite is, um— oh, sorry, I don't have favorites, but one that springs to mind— I was going to ask you what your favorite was anyway. It's a bit like saying, what's your favorite child, or do you like mummy or daddy best? I can't. And you know, there is a favorite one for different moments. Yes, definitely. And, but the one that I was thinking about is, it's Kat Vick, and she is talking about the time that she met her now husband at a Japanese noise band gig in the kind of, I think it's the '90s in London. And she talks about getting ready for this, and like she's got this kind of old old man's tunic that she puts on, she's got her hobnail boots and she does her blue hair in these bunches and just it's so vivid to me. And then there's this moment, you know, she's trying to be quite cool and independent and then this guy's there and her feminism, she says, manifests herself in asking him, in buying the first round. She always gets the first round. But it's just, it's such a nice story, and she says, you know, it's really hard, our relationship is, you know, up and down, but I'm proud of the fact that it's lasted this long, and that's a nice message. It's definitely not everything having a relationship, and I think like most of the stories in the book don't talk about that at all, but it's definitely present in certain ones. There's such a variety. Now, I actually, if quite well known among my friends that I'm always reading a book, and the person that's on before me at another radio station, she commented that I'd been reading this book for a couple of weeks, and she's like, "Oh, you're normally done within 3 days." I'm like, "Yeah, but you've got to put it down, then actually go and— you either need to sit and reflect on some of them, or you end up—" because you do a little bit of a description at the end of each story, there's either a Twitter handle or a website, and I'm like, "I really love that story, I'm just going to go and stalk that person for a bit," because they kind of sound like my kind of person, and I want to see what they're saying. So there's certain stories that you identify with more, and it's like, it was like a rabbit hole. So I would quite, it's not like I'd just read chapter after chapter, I'd read one of the stories and then I'd be like, what's she up to on Twitter? She looks fun, I think I'd like her opinion on this. And I asked some of them actually, I've got, I followed about 12 of the people on Twitter, and just because it is one of those things where you kind of it's quite collaborative. You kind of want to get involved with these people now that you know a little bit more about them, and they've kind of— they've bared their soul, and so it makes you want to know a little bit more as well. So yeah, it was interesting. It wasn't a 3-day book for me. I was like dipping in and out and, you know, going into various cafes. It's been everywhere with me. I'm actually feeling quite heartbroken now that I finished it. Oh well. You know, hopefully it will merit a reread in a few weeks. But I love that. I just really love it. And I think there's something very special to me is that I feel that I've built a community here of these writers. And I think because we've been together for so long, so, you know, 2018 was the beginning and here we are 2022 and so much has happened, you know, to everyone with the pandemic, you know, that we can all relate to that. But of course with people in their own lives. But because these stories, you know, and I was the first to hear them, I always felt so privileged when I would download these audio files because they were voiced by the writers as well. And it was like somebody sort of whispering little secrets in my ear. And then of course I shared them with the whole world, but they didn't know that. Shut up! Only consent. That was, yeah, not being on really. And then, and, you know, when it is— everybody is very vulnerable in this book. But because of that, because of being open, I think you're right. You know, we've created a bit of a community within the writers. And you see— and I'll see them on Twitter talking to each other. And I know there's been a few collaborations that have come out of it. And I— and it just makes me so happy to see that community of amazing women supporting each other, and it's great as well to bring the readers in. And because it was crowdfunded as well, quite a lot of our supporters as well, you know, we have quite an ongoing dialogue with them, and we sort of— I feel like we're in a club, and together we can do anything. Well, this is the thing though as well, the good thing about books is the ability to share opinions and broaden people's minds about what's going on, or possibly spur them on to think about about their own place in society as well. And I think this is, this is why I do this show. I think books are fantastic, whether it's fiction or non-fiction. There is the ability to kind of entertain and to help people understand and also be a bit more brave in the world, especially for women who, again, they have been told, as I jokingly said before, how uncouth it is for women to sing their own praises, whereas because, you know, it's more of a— it's definitely something that men more naturally do, but women have been frowned upon for doing it, and there can be a lot of jealousy and spite when women do sing their own praises, and it's been looked down on in the past, but the more we do it, the more we kind of blast that really archaic way of being in society, we can kind of start appreciating ourselves and really start reminding ourselves. Time that we don't actually realize how great we are is because we keep on suppressing it because we're told to, because it's just, "Ooh, don't talk about yourself and being amazing." Can you imagine that? But yes, I agree with you. And it is, you know, people still sort of tell you to be quiet, don't they? Or like kind of— it is amazing kind of now in 2022 that women, I think, are definitely not quite as equal as they should be. I'm being very polite. Yeah, but with books like this, they just spur people on and encourage people just how good it feels to do it. And the more we do it, the more people just get used to it, and they're just gonna have to deal with it. That is really what I'm hoping. I'm really hoping it inspires people. And I think you sort of alluded to something there, that there are different stories as well, because I think the stories that we do see out there are kind of monotone, I guess. You know, a certain type of woman, a certain type of role. Whereas this, you know, you've got people talking about learning to ride a motorbike, or being a mother with twins, or taking the mic at, you know, a poetry night for the first time. You've got a refugee learning to eating English food for the first time. With a knife and fork! With a knife and fork, or fork and knife as she calls it. And that's such a beautiful story by Usha Rowan, and I think she's actually going to write a book that is sort of based on that story and her time as a refugee from Uganda. And I'm so lucky to have of her in the book and, and other people that are kind of— we've got Melissa Fu who talks about, um, she's got a book that's just, just come out this, this last week called Peach Blossom Spring. And I follow her on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, she's— oh, she's so, so lovely as a person and what a writer. But her piece is all about literally somebody saying, you, your voice is no good, you can't— she's in a teaching situation and, um, her supervisor tells her that she's rubbish and she, you know, she's got nothing to say. And Gaynor Jones, another fantastic writer, her piece is also about a time when a male supervisor in an educational establishment told her that she shouldn't be writing, that she was no good at it. And so there are a lot of barriers still for us as women and, you know, as a certain type of person in society as well. But particularly, I think this is an issue for women, um, because our, our bodies and our voices are still not really our own, um, and, and it's just, just so nice to see in this book how these different stories, different types of women, all, all from many, many different spectrums, Talking about what's important to them, as you said in your intro, you know, whether it's big or small, whether it's about like getting married as a gay person or, you know, we mentioned lemon curd. That's the very first story that ever aired on the podcast. It's about making lemon curd, but it's also about reaching out to your female community. And these are real stories. That's what it's like to be a woman, but we never hear it. We never see it.. And, and so I, I just want to put these in the world and, and hope that people absorb a bit of, bit of what it's really like to be a woman. I suppose it's, it's not comprehensive. I can't claim that. Um, uh, there are so many ways to be a woman and, and these are just a few. Yeah. Do you know what? I wrote a post, um, because I think women take, um, criticism a lot harder than men do, and we seem to be, well, you know, as women, we're so emotional. And I wrote a post about how it's so easy for one negative comment to ruin and make us forget 20 fantastic comments that people have given us, and we need to find the power to only let the right things affect us. It was a post about how, you know, something had gone, I'd done a fantastic show, I absolutely loved it, walked the dog, happy as Larry, ticked off everything on my to-do list, loads of lovely messages from my friends, and then I went out on another walk and somebody just said something really cruel for no reason, and it completely ruined my day. And I just remember thinking, why do I not have the power over how I feel? And some ridiculous comment can actually— this is, you know, I think this is definitely more a female thing, that we can be affected affected by negative criticism so much when it's not even from somebody with particular respect. I definitely don't, probably. I think, you know, in those cases that I do think, and I don't know about you, but if I'm out and about, I get strangers saying stuff to me a lot more than my husband does on his own. And that is another sort of thing that men sort of feel entitled to, to say things to us or comment in when we're doing, minding our own business. So that's a bit of a kind of societal thing. But you're right, I think there was, um, I mean, there's one of, one of the stories, Amy Kinwell, she talks about failure. And also Sarah, um, Sarah Armstrong, she is a, um, she's a medic, and she went out to be a medic in, um, Afghanistan, and and her story is, I suppose, about learning to fail as well. And she highlights the stat that some— I think it's in Britain, we're in the top 5 or something— girls are the most afraid of failure in the world. It's just— it's— I don't know why that is, that we are so scared of failure. And because perhaps we aren't trained, I guess, to get up, brush ourselves off, and try again. Maybe there's something in the way that we're brought up, or I don't know. But I think, you know, I don't think it can all be our fault if somebody's shouting random stuff in the street, you know. I think it's their fault a bit. There are a lot of busybodies out there, but there's a lot of people that are also fighting their own battles, and sometimes if their only outlet is to go against somebody else. And sometimes we need to possibly appreciate that, and then we can regain back the control of how it affects us, knowing that it's somebody else's problem. But I've, I've thought a lot about failure, and I talk about this a lot with my children and to myself, because can you imagine if we never failed, if we never had anything we needed to learn, if we never actually learned the skills to deal with failure, we would be bland, we wouldn't have— we would be— our lives would be so much worse. I think failure is— we should all try to fail because it's a learning curve. Totally agree, and that is kind of the two sides of the coin, isn't it? Achievement and failure. And then I think a lot of the stories in 100 Voices actually are in some ways about a failure and having got back up after it and that being the achievement. But you're totally right, I mean, if we don't fail, we haven't, we haven't done anything. Yeah. We've just sat at home, haven't we? And, and that's not, not possible. You've got to take risk and you've got to be comfortable in taking risk, uh, a little bit. Um, and there will be different times in your lives where you're kind of more comfortable with risk-taking, I guess. But yes, I must say though, there's— I say this to my kids quite a lot, even when I lose my temper and I get angry, or when I fail and they see something. Can you imagine if your kids never saw you get angry and they never had to appreciate what it's like to apologize and to just get over something, or if they've never thought they could fail because they've never seen you fail. You know, we need to model to our children and to our friends and to our families the benefits of not always getting everything right. Um, you know, to any parents out there who sometimes feel like they're failing and that their kids are seeing it, or if they've lost their temper because they're exhausted, because life is exhausting, you know, teach them that 'You know, do you know what? I think I shouted at you then and I shouldn't have done,' or 'I was a little bit bad-tempered,' or 'A little bit short with you. This is why, but I apologise.' And then it teaches kids that actually it's great to hear an apology and it's a great way to move on. Yeah, I totally agree, and I think that's a very, very grown-up thing to say. It's the only grown-up thing you'll ever hear me saying. I'm not known for being a grown-up. Now, something that you did touch on there, you said that you got the book published through Unbound, which I think is a fantastic way of publishing because not only does it become collaborative and very community-spirited because people are helping you in this endeavour to get this book off the ground, but you're also finding out how much people are already investing in something that you're passionate about, they kind of put their money where their mouth is about wanting to hear what you've got to say. It's fantastic, isn't it? Oh, it is. It's such— I mean, I owe them so much, of course. We wouldn't have a book without all of our supporters, but it was just wonderful to kind of see them, see that figure tick up and hear from people that they were supporting and that they were bought in and believed in the project. And I think that is something that really kept me going. And on Unbound, you you keep your supporters updated, so I'd quite often write an update of where we were, and so often I'd hear from the supporters and they'd sort of keep me going, really, I think, as well as the writers themselves in this book, because, you know, it did take a long time, and we were sort of— we were getting along quite well, and then the pandemic hit, and for the first, you know, few weeks I was just sort of thinking, well, how can we crowdfund when this is happening in the world? But then I read a post from, I think it was the Writers HQ, which is a writer's collective. They do workshops and I follow them on Twitter and get their mailing list. And they said, you know, stories are important now more than ever. And I really took that to heart and I thought, yes, 'That is exactly right, and these are important stories to put out there, and it's worth it.' And I started sharing a bit more of what was in the book, and it went down really well. And then we were able suddenly to do these online events, and because people are dispersed across the UK, they could suddenly meet on these calls. And we did— the first one we did was the Stay at Home Literary Festival, which was organized by a writer called CJ Cook, and she just put this call out on Twitter saying, "Does anyone want to be in my literary festival?" Because all the literary festivals have had to postpone with the COVID crisis. So we held a panel and we had Usha, who we've spoken about, "Fork and Knife Story," as well as, I think Sally Ann Ropp was doing it. She's a writer from the Midlands. Who's a beautiful piece about kind of getting back on her feet after an abusive relationship and using poetry to really help her do that, as well as several other writers. And they were meeting for the first time because they live in different parts of the UK. And we did that one, and then we— I hosted quite a few Zoom kind of events as well. And that was a fantastic way of bringing everybody together at such a hard time, bringing a bit of light into into, well, my life personally, um, and everyone else's, I think. Um, and, uh, that was lovely. And getting to meet the supporters as well, because they would come along to those Zoom calls. And, um, that, that was a really heartening time for me. And then we got the momentum building again, and, um, yeah, then, then we got the book funded. So it was, it was a really, really amazing process, and it was a crowdsourced forced idea in the first place. And so that's why I thought a crowdfunded book would be a great idea. And yeah, I'm really pleased that Unbound said yes, and here we are. I think it's really important that we look at the positive sides of a rather kind of horrific and scary time in our history, you know. Yes, it was very scary, and it was horrible what's happened throughout coronavirus, but you know what, it's also What it took away with one hand, you know, we were able to connect with each other so much more easily and people really were making the effort in lockdown to kind of get on Zoom and people you wouldn't normally necessarily work with because of your locale, people then it became completely irrelevant. I mean, I used to need people on GetBooked to come into our studio in Covent Garden and some people couldn't always make it and now it's all done from home. Yes, the quality isn't always there in terms of the sound quality because, you know, it's still done in my home. I do have a dog who occasionally gets excited about who's walking past, but it means, you know, I have people on my show every week from Canada, Australia, any part of England, all over the world, whereas before they needed to come into the studio and it was just something that we, you know, it was very rare that we would do it via Zoom or Skype because it's just not what we were used to. And now we're all used to it. We're all working from home more now. We're all getting to see our families a little bit more, whether we like it or not. And so there are definitely some positive sides to what we thought before was a challenge and an issue. Yeah, and I'm really grateful for those, for those, you know, those silver linings and and I know it's been really, really hard for some people more than others, but having these other things, I think they're really important. You know, you're always talking about wellbeing, and I think that mental kind of wellbeing, that feeling of a community is so important to make life worth living, really, for me personally. That's something that keeps me going. So yeah, it was a bit of a kind of lifesaver during that time. Well, we're storming through and there's a couple of questions I normally— I just want to make sure that I can squeeze these questions in before the end of the show. There's something that I always ask to all of the guests here on Get Booked is who do you admire in the public eye? Now this one I can't wait to hear your answer. There were just so many people that I was thinking about, it was very hard to kind of think of one in particular, but I wanted to give a big 'you're amazing' shout out to Bernardine Evaristo. Oh, okay, the author. I said it wrong. Yeah, Bernardine Evaristo. She has throughout her career, and it's a really long career, although I ashamedly only read I read Girl, Woman, Other as my first book of hers that I'd read. But looking back at her career, she's gone— it's all been about supporting others to tell their stories, as well as her own work to write these amazing, you know, award-winning books. And I think that we've got to just put people like her up and say, you're doing such amazing work, because now she's like, funds her own sort of publishing house, and she's looking at kind of unheard stories, Black authors from the past, and kind of republishing those works, and runs foundations. And one thing that particularly was exciting when I was kind of doing a bit of research on her is that she must have trained as an actor as well. She went to Rose Bruford's Theatre School. Theatre School, and now I think she's their vice president or something honorary. And I started as an actor before I was a writer, and I think there is something in that putting yourself in other people's shoes helps you as a writer, coming from that background. But I just admire her so much, and she, she's just such an amazing person, and I don't think she's had enough kind of plaudits, really. Although, I mean, if you look at her awards, she's got loads of awards. It's not, it's not about that, but I think she— we should be more aware of her in our public consciousness. I think we should. Now, I have not read Girl, Woman, Other, and it is— it's on my Kindle list, it's in my TBRs, but I see what you mean, because you see this book and it is You know, whenever you walk past a bookshop, it's probably in nearly all of them, right? It's gonna be in the window, and we always see it. And— but if you ask people, who is Bernadine Evaristo? I don't think most people will be able to tell you who. And that's the point, isn't it? You want people to know exactly who she is and what she's about. And we just seem to— it seems to just be an image that we're conscious of, but we know very little when it— yeah. Yeah, incredible. But I know, yeah, not just for her own achievement, but because of how she supports others as well. I think there's this, you know, there's— it doesn't seem like there's any ego there. And other authors who are famous and have won the Booker, I'm quite like that. But, um, yeah, so that was my shadow. Do you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to move that book up a few rows in my TBR. My TBRs are so bonkers at the moment. I might even do it. You can start my week with it. I might even move it onto my Audible list. I wonder if— I must find out whether she actually narrates it or not, because I think that's a winner for me. Things like, if I'm going to do one of these iconic books, things like a Barack Obama, And who else did I read recently? Will Smith. Those kind of books are fantastic when they're on Audible because they, they really go to town. You kind of, you really feel like they're just sitting next to you telling you about their book. You're like, I'm getting on board with that. I like it. I totally agree. I totally agree about like hearing, hearing people's stories in their own words, which kind of, you know, going back to the podcast that, that of 100 Voices, that was kind of my first just like in there because, yeah, hearing a writer read their own work, it's pretty magical actually. It is, it's just got a certain— well, you've said it, it is, it's that little extra bit of magic, isn't it? And they know it inside out. It's very, very hard to read somebody else's thoughts perfectly, and that gives them the opportunity to do it. Now, something else that, because this is a wellbeing station here, We focus on, you know, just trying to achieve good mental well-being. What are your 3 top tips on how people can achieve good mental well-being? And I'm assuming that one of those is reading One Hundred Voices. Well, I think 3 of them are that, but I guess, because I wanted to think— the book has taught me so, so much, and I think that it's actually taught me a little bit about how to care for your own well-being. So my first one is get outside, and I think that if, you know, however you are feeling, if you can just get outside, I think you will start to feel a little bit better. There's one piece in the book called The Walk by Jo Martin. I was going to say, Jo Martin. I did— that is one of the ones I'm going to have a quick read at the end of, and so we're going to do some examples from the book at the end of today's show, and that is one of them because I love it. It's kind of really simple but just so effective. Yeah, and so her story is just amazing about, you know, that. And then another fun one for getting out and doing a bit of exercise is Run, You Mother, Run by Elena Jones, about the power of kind of being in the air and And then you put yourself in context, don't you? I think you're in the wider world, and that always helps me, you know, when I— if I'm feeling bad. Then if I'm, you know, I think this is probably for any time, but set yourself a challenge, something that's achievable but not too easy, and do it. Because when you do it, you feel amazing. And that will be— that will depend where you're at. Um, you know, there's, there's, you know, in, in the book there's Charlie Lester who set up a sort of Forbes-listed company, but, um, the first thing she did was write a dating blog. And things, you know, you can take step by step by step, and if you just sort of set yourself— her first challenge was, I think she was going to date 30 people before she was 30, and that became a blog. And then she ran something called the Dating Awards, and then she's, she's gone on to found Lumen, which was an over-50s dating app. And it's just so amazing kind of seeing those Stages. And then Sabrina Mahfouz's piece Take the Stage is all about her first poem that she read, and now she's like the playwright in residence at the Globe Theatre. But it just takes— set yourself a goal, yeah, and achieve it. And do you know what, it can be, as you say, a really small goal. It can just be, you know, 10 sit-ups a day for a week, but once you do that you find it easier to just increase a little bit. There's no point giving yourself a stupidly big challenge that you'll fail at and then you will not want to necessarily try again because it makes you feel so rubbish about yourself. Work your way up. It's fantastic. It's so much more achievable. I totally, totally subscribe to that. And I think I've kind of learned that through doing this. And oh, there's another one that I've got to plug is called On the New and it's by YL Huang. And she, she tried to do something new I think it's once a week that she does it. Just something new. It doesn't have to be a big thing. One was like making a pair of shoes. I think that's pretty impressive. Or, but yeah, it could be anything, but doing something new and being on the podcast was her new thing for that day. So I'm really glad that she chose that. And then my final tip is reach out to your community. And that is something that I forget to do sometimes if I'm not feeling so great, but if I do it, it makes me feel a thousand times better every time. So, um, we were talking about the lemon curd piece in the book. That's about making lemon curd, but it's also about texting your friends and your mom and like seeing, you know, feeling— bringing people into something that you're doing or that's going on for you and, and getting the support thought through that, because, you know, hopefully there are some people out there who, who care about you. And even if it's just saying hi to somebody on the street, kind of being acknowledged and, and acknowledging someone else, I think can make, make for good mental well-being. But keeping up those, those contacts, they, you know, you, you build a little community, and who knows where it's going to take you. Um, I know I certainly feel like that about the book. There's a piece in the book called Know How by Amy Taylor, and it starts like, there was a time where I thought I couldn't, or I didn't know, and about anything, I think, is what she's saying at the beginning of the piece. But she comes across this amazing— yeah, this amazing community of creative people, and she realizes that she's creative herself. And so she starts to kind of work in the area that she's wanted to work all of her life and gives herself confidence and permission to do that, and I think that's pretty amazing. Well, you'll never know unless you try, and I just, I must say it's extremely scary out there at the moment with what's happening in the Ukraine, but there's a Ukrainian cafe 2 minutes away from where I live and And some of the places— I've got quite a few different jobs, being a single mother, this is what you've got to do sometimes. And even 20 miles down the road, another place that I work at, even they know about this café and they're putting boxes together. And it's so heartwarming amongst seeing something quite horrific and scary, but seeing how people are coming together and they're sending lorry loads of donations from this one café alone, and it's just— and they're going directly to the Ukraine, like the local ambulance service has been sending their ambulances full of supplies with all these boxes, and it's just like people get involved in the community and trying to do something when we're all feeling a little bit scared. If we just try and involve ourselves a little bit, it can it can just work wonders, can't it? Definitely. If you give something, you get so much back as well, I think. There's nothing wrong with a bit of altruism. No, no. Physically make us feel better, and that's just so heartening to hear, and I hope that café does really well, and I hope that people get what they need from it. It's a really sad situation, but it has been really wonderful to see people coming together. And, you know, every time I see the Ukrainian flag, which there are many now— Yes, they're everywhere, it's brilliant! In Yorkshire, where I live, it's just a bit of togetherness. A bit of reassurance that the world isn't all bad, you know, we can come together. But just, I must say, thank you so much for chatting to me today. I could go on for so much long ago, but I cannot because I want to read our listeners a couple of examples of some of these stories that I've just thoroughly adored reading, just to kind of whet their appetite and encourage them to go out and get the book, which I think they will do anyway. But another quick reminder to our listeners that they can pop onto 100voicesfor100years.com. Thank you so much, Miranda, for chatting to me today. I really have thoroughly enjoyed it. Oh, it's been such, such a pleasure, so thank you. And yeah, people can buy the book in any good bookshop, so if they just go on in and ask behind the counter, hopefully that'll be there. I think it's probably going to be in some of the rubbish bookshops as well. It's going to be everywhere, it's going to be everywhere. Thank you so much and enjoy the rest of your day. Good luck with the book and look forward to the for the next book coming out and you coming back on the show. Oh, that would be great. Thank you so much, AJ. Thank you. Here are a few examples from the book to whet your appetite. The first one is The Death Slide by Freya Kelly. I still refer to it as the death slide in my head. My grandparents had taken my little sister and me to an adventure park in a forest somewhere. We were young, no more than 6 or 7 years old, and she wanted to go on the swings. I wanted to go on the death slide. If you didn't know, a death slide is 3 meters wide, about a mile high, and has a vertical drop almost all the way to the ground before it starts curving into a level surface. Therefore, you must drop yourself over the edge, free fall for what feels like a split-second eternity and hope you don't bruise too badly when the bottom bit catches you. It was a colossal thing, as tall as a skyscraper, or at least that's how I remember it. For some reason, 6-year-old me decided that it would be fun to join the children throwing themselves into oblivion one by one like ruches lemmings. So my grandpa came with me and we trekked up the stairs stairs to the platform. I sat myself on the lip of the slide, looking down at the vertical drop, and I couldn't move. Now, I was known as the Fearless Daughter, too young and beloved to have had any boldness knocked out of me. Not just yet. Usually I'd be the one encouraging my little sister to jump a gap or wade across a river or sleep out a nightlight, but I sat there staring down at the drop. I was scared. I'd never done something like this before, and I wasn't really sure whether I'd survive. It was the uncertainty more than the height that scared me. My grandpa knew something was up as I sat there silent and unmoving. I had never hesitated to do something stupid and dangerous before. He gently told me that I didn't have to do it, that we could go back down and find something else. There and then, sitting on the edge and staring down into the abyss, I knew that if I didn't do this, I would regret it. It was a strange feeling. Though I'm familiar with it now, at the time I'd never felt it before. Maybe that's why I can still remember this experience so clearly. I just knew that if I didn't even try, I'd look back on this moment and wonder if I could have. I doubted I would find another death slide quite as terrifying and awesome as this one. This was my chance, and I wanted to do it. The problem was my muscles were all locked up. I couldn't bring myself to make that final push, so I looked back at my grandpa and asked him to drop me. He laughed deep from the belly, as he was wont to do, then picked me up by the wrists and held me over the edge. I remember looking down at my feet dangling mid-air below me. I could see the death slide, and it was a vivid shade of red. Thinking back on it, the colour was remarkably reminiscent of blood, and perhaps if I was a bit older, I would have taken it as a bad omen and rethought my decision.. But I was young and stubborn and determined to do this, determined to get over the fear that has crippled me for the first time. I took a deep breath and counted out loud: 3, 2, 1. My grandpa let go of my wrists and I fell down. I think I might have been screaming, but I can't remember. I closed my eyes at some point because when I opened them again. I was at the bottom. Flattened my back. I sat up feeling strangely breathless. My grandpa called down to me, 'You're still in one piece!' I checked myself over. All my limbs were attached. My head was spinning a little, but I actually felt great, and I whooped in victory and got to my feet. I must have gone down the death slide 100 times that day, never getting tired of throwing myself from the precipice that had almost defeated me, conquering it again and again and again, proving to myself I was still brave. Even now in my 20s, if given the chance, I would hurl myself down that thrilling slope once more. I was so proud at the time. I'm proud still. I like to think it helped shape me as a person, a keystone part of the woman I became. I'm becoming still. So if you ever come across a death slide, literal or otherwise, and you can't bring yourself to jump off from the brink, don't be afraid. Get someone you trust to drop you over the edge and you'll be fine, I promise. Freya Kelly is a language student and writer. Words are her world. She has many stories in progress, and if she had a superpower, she'd like the ability to finish just one please. In the meantime, she'll settle for writing nonsensical, self-indulgent poetry and starting new story ideas with no concept or plot or character development. She likes to think she'll get there one day. Writing for 100 Voices is the first of hopefully more published works, and what an amazing beginning it is. This next one is The Walk by Jo Martin. A couple of years ago, I went through an episode of depression. My GP kept telling me that I needed to exercise, as it would definitely help me to feel better. The thing was, I'd never been particularly sporty. I dreaded PE at school and believed that I was largely no good at sport and exercise. At the time, I couldn't imagine being able to motivate myself enough to do any. That winter, I looked after a friend's dog dog for 3 weeks. No matter how cold or dark it was, I had to walk the dog every day. I began to notice how much better I felt after walking, even on those dark January nights. At the same time, a group of my colleagues had signed up to do a 100-kilometer walk, about 60 miles, from London to Brighton to raise money for our own charity. The challenge was to complete the walk in 24 hours. When the challenge was announced, I wasn't sure whether I could do it, yet after Bonnie the dog had gone home, I decided to sign up anyway. I did training walks every Saturday and increased my distances over time. Sometimes friends and family joined me, sometimes I walked alone. It was a great way of connecting with others and myself. I began to take more notice of what was going on around me, and what was going on within me. I started to process the grief that had triggered my depression in the first place. I began to see things more clearly and to believe in myself again. And after each walk, I was high, buzzing on the positive energy that endorphins create. That positive energy spilled over into the rest of my life. I became more confident, more accepting, and more present. The big day arrived. The walk itself was fun, sociable, sunny, beautiful, and of course challenging. After 24 hours of walking, at 5:30 AM, with painful blisters, doubts crept in. I got slower and slower. At 8:30 AM, 24 hours into the challenge and still 7 miles away from the finish line, I cried with pain, exhaustion, and frustration. I briefly considered stopping, but I just couldn't. I was going to get across that finish line, even if I had to crawl across it. It took me another 6 hours to walk the last 7 miles, painfully slowly. I repeated to myself, 'I can do this, I can do this,' again and again, which has been my mantra ever since. Sometimes I just counted my steps, doggedly putting one blistered foot in front of the other. It was the ultimate endurance test, a metaphor for grief, depression, recovery, acceptance, and moving on. Crossing the finish line was one of the proudest moments of my life. I had endured, I had achieved my goal, and I had made unexpected discoveries along the way. Jo Martin is a trainer facilitator from South London who believes that stories are the foundation of learning, connection, and community. Jo is more passionate than ever about the positive impact that walking has on mental health and well-being and has founded Urban Hikes for Mental Health. You can follow her adventures on Urban Hikes Mental Health on Instagram.