Welcome to Judy Mayer's Listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life and I listen and together we transform everything. And welcome. I am Judy Mae Murphy and you're listening to women's radio station supporting women's well being. The thing that we're going to be talking about today is the fact that you have told me that very often you wish you could just start again. That you wish you could start again not just in your life, but you wish you could start again with a different identity, a different part of the world, just a very different way of being. And we all carry this idea that there's intrinsically something about us that isn't as good as it could be. And this has been exacerbated over the last few years with the rise of social media. With so many people showing their best, we're getting to see everybody's highlight reel at a million miles an hour. We are getting the opportunity to compare ourselves to people who are thinner, happier looking in better parts of the world, sitting under palm trees, surrounded by the love of their life, eating luxury food, looking at luxury seals, playing on the beach, whatever it is. We have started to believe that there is something wrong with us because our outside isn't matching how awesome we know we are on our inside. And the backlash against this has meant that a lot of women have started to reject the outer appearance side. Together, they sort of say, well, this is my body, take it or leave it. I'm not wearing makeup anymore. I'm not bothering with self grooming. I'm just going to be me. You've got to take me as me. And I feel that when we do that, the upside of it is that we're sort of free of the game. But are we really? Because when you're in rebellion against something, you're still kind of tied to it. If you're running away from something, that something is still running your life. It's making you run away. So what I'm wondering is, is there a way that we can really celebrate the outside? Is there a way that we can look at style, at fashion, at our bodies, at our ways of being in beautiful places and start to use that to our advantage rather than just thinking that we're hitting the mark on this day and we're not hitting on this day, is it possible for us to completely transform ourselves from the outside in? Does it have to be that we have to go all spiritual and then somehow this halo of shining light will appear around us and then we can Love ourselves. And then we won't need highlighter because the inner aura will be doing all that work. So I've invited someone who I really admire and have seen just go absolutely huge in the UK and now in New York and other places as well. And this is a woman who really understands who you are and the struggles that you're going through. She's a mom herself. She has, you know, worked in various industries. She had. She worked her way up. She, you know, she hasn't had the. She hasn't had it handled to her. So she's not just someone who lucked into this. She's someone who climbed to the top of a really tough industry. And this is Lulu's story, the UK's top stylist. And what I love about Lulu is she sees you as a person first. And anytime, if you're looking at her stuff on Instagram, if you're looking at following her on Facebook, on Twitter, you can see that she really gets that she's dealing with people. So she's not trying to just focus on, force someone to look a certain way. She's trying to make sure that the outside and the inside are a match and also that they're transformational. She gets it. She gets the power of clothes, makeup, objects, accessories, the power of these things for us as women in transforming our lives. So, Lulu Storey. So welcome to Judy May's Listening. Thank you so much. What an introduction. I feel all tingly from that. Incredible. But it's all true. I mean, you're my go to for inspiration, and I just sort of, you know, look at you talking about a particular pair of earrings. And on the surface, a lot of people might say, well, I'm intellectual, I'm academic. That sort of thing isn't important. And I consider myself to be very academic and to go very deep on things. And yet there is something about, say, a simple pair of earrings. What do you think that is? Well, it's nothing new that as human beings, we like to adorn ourselves, we with something beautiful. It's all around us in nature. And I always go to nature for a lot of my inspiration. And I think it's really just intrinsic to us that we know what things, when things are beautiful, they have that symmetry or they have a balance about them or a color that appeals. We are built to like stuff and to adorn ourselves with it. So those earrings are a symbol of what we like, what we're about, what we know is possible for us. Yes. Yeah. The future of who we can become and Who. Who we want to be. It can be about expression. This is something that I, you know, this is. These earrings are something that I want to show about myself that maybe nobody has seen. It's something that's been hidden. So what would be an example of that? Like, if somebody. So I now no longer. We. Short skirts. I just. I used to wear very, very short skirts, very short dresses earlier on in my life. I used to sort of wear stuff that showed a bit more skin, stuff that was sexier, and now I've kind of gone a little bit more stylish. So what would it be if I suddenly found a very sexy dress? What. How would you approach that with me if I was your client? So it all has. We have to get super clear on where you're at right now. Who is it that you are and that you are trying to evolve into. We. When our wardrobes, when. As we evolve, you know, we move and we change as people, and when our wardrobes aren't evolving with us, we can become very stuck. And so it's super important that you get clear on where you're heading. So start with the end in mind, because people do that with cars all the time. They don't think about it twice, about upgrading their car. But you're right that it makes sense for the wardrobe to do that. So then if I decided that, you know what, I want to be unobtainable, afraid of being sexy. I want to stop associating sexiness with youth, extreme youth, and I'd like to, you know, revisit that part of myself. What would be the next step, then, with you as a stylist? I think it'd be about finding other words that could describe sexy, because people often come to me and they say, I want to be confident, and we really have to break down what that means to you. What is it that you're not feeling enough of? So perhaps it's actually that you want to feel a bit more sultry and find a word that could still be sexy. But it has, you know, you can label it with more maturity. Yeah. It's more nuanced, isn't it? Gets there. It's not so general. It's more specific to. Ah, yes, that. And you know what? That is it. The word sultry sits a lot better because it gets rid of a lot of the less good connotations that we might have. So if we chose a word like sultry and maybe other words like playful. Yeah. What would be the next step then? We have to find a new way of doing it, because obviously we don't want to repeat what we did in our 20s. Now, there'll always be elements of Judy Mae or elements of Lulu that, you know, tie us to our past, because that is who we are. But it's finding a new way of doing it. So it's really about understanding what your figure. Where your figure is honestly at right now. And that is a very important part of getting dressed. And I have a lot of people coming to me saying, you know, I'll do it in a year's time when I've lost that weight. But I'm like, well, why wouldn't you want to look fabulous now and then that will give you the confidence to, you know, get. Improve your body to where you want to get it to. So I would get really clear on how you're feeling about your body. What is it you want to enhance? Which bits do you want to show off? And I'm loving my body right now. Great. I had an accident last year, broke my arm. Took a while for me to get back into my body, as I would call it. And now I'm just kind of like, yeah, you know what? I'm rocking it. I want to wear much smaller stuff. So where would we take me from there? Well, I think it's then about what else is in your wardrobe. Are there other. Any other pieces that already exist in there that do make you feel a little bit sultry? Because actually, it could be something as simple as a little camisole with a bit of a lace trim that you save for summer, that actually we could start layering underneath a blouse, and you could just have that little touch of lace, because obviously, often it's the little textures. A bit of leather, a little bit of lace. It could be, I don't know, some feathers. I don't know, anything that makes. That makes you feel sultry. So understanding what gets you excited. And I imagine there are many times when you are out styling a woman, you're going through the shops you're getting them to. Well, first of all, usually go to their homes, and then you go through the stuff, right? And then you bring them out and you start adding these extra pieces. Do you actually see women transform? Do you see them stand differently? Do you see their faces transform as they're stepping into this new identity? Oh, my goodness. I mean, this is why I started it. You know, I worked on the. On the shop floor for 17 years, and even as I climbed higher and higher into management, I was always getting pulled back into the fitting rooms. And seeing people stand in the mirror and hold themselves so differently and think, oh my goodness, I'm going to be that person, I could become that person. So yeah, an outfit and even one item of clothing and the way you wear it can completely transform who you are. Have you ever had someone who is so utterly just transported to a different state by a different outfit that they've started to cry or oh goodness, yes, it's such a personal experience. Yeah, all the time. I mean, like you said at the beginning, so many women look in the mirror and they just think there's something so wrong with them. And what I'm saying is it's never ever your body's fault, your fault, it's always the clothes fault. So if we can shift that focus, oh, I like that. And really make it about, well, you're obviously not wearing clothes that are the right proportion or enhancing the right bit or expressing the right thing. So just blame on the clothes they're doing. They're so wrong. As women, we are so used to doing that, aren't we? We're so used to blaming ourselves first for everything. We're so used to seeing ourselves as the source of the problem, whether that is with them, clothes that aren't quite right or whether it's something like a problematic partnership with somebody or a problematic friendship. We're always looking to the personality version of how can I suck my stomach in a bit more to make this okay? But I love that idea that you're just like, well, no, you don't have to do that. You don't have to do so much work. Yes. And actually you can let go of a version of you. Like for me it's always been about being cool. You know, I've always, I always felt, you know, at school I didn't feel cool enough. So for me it's really about honing in on that so that I can let go of that false self. And what we're going to be doing right after the break is we're going to be showing everybody how to be cool, how to be sultry, how to be anything that you want to be in this lifetime. Welcome to women's radio station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on women's radio station. Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on women's Radio station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at women's radio Station supporting women's well being and we're talking all things autism, women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Falguni Desai of Action Coach. Are you a business owner with more than five employees? Do you want to grow your business? I'm a London based business coach who helps small and medium sized businesses to grow and make a profit. I will help you identify the strengths and weaknesses in your business and then work with you to improve it using a structured framework. To find out more, contact me on 072-16-54640 and book your one hour complimentary one to one coaching session. Thank you. Hi, I'm Tracey Weedon of Brownhill Insurance Group. 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We're a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth on mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@mediamattersforwomen.org Women's radio station can give a voice to your brand. With a wide range of sponsorship opportunities, including individual programs, we can tailor your experience to you. For more information on how you can sponsor a show, go to womensradiostation.com women the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Welcome to Judy Mayer's Listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life and I listen and together we transform everything. This is Judy Mae Murphy. And with me in studio Today, we have UK's top stylist, Lulu Storey. I'm just blown away that you've made the time to be with us today. Absolutely extraordinary. I know you're so busy doing so much TV and so much radio and so many magazine interviews and just working with all your incredible clients, not just here, but over in New York. So thank you. Thank you, Lily. And what we're talking about today is transformation and self care from the outside in. And right before the break, we were talking about how clothes can help us to tap into that part of ourselves, the part of ourselves that needs more harmony, that needs to take on board different aspects, whether that is being sultry or being cool. And I know that a lot of people, a lot of women, when they are wondering how they can do this for themselves, immediately the block, the thing that gets in the way is. But I'm too something. So you referenced right before that. We don't take statements like I'm too heavy and allow that to rule what's going on right now in your life and in your wardrobe. And I'm wondering if things like, I'm too old, I'm too young, I'm too poor, I don't have enough time. Are those ideas that sort of come in to block people from really unleashing what they could be all about? Oh, absolutely. And we get rid of it. Call number one when I work with people, so I have a kind of a two month method to really help people to transform and the first thing we do is we get clear on their identity statement. So who are you becoming? And we kind of talked about it earlier. Can we actually try that here in studio? Yeah. I'm going to completely throw you under the bus here, Elspeth. Elspeth is our associate producer. Ellsworth, you're quite young still and you have just finished studying and you're now ready to kind of launch yourself on the world. Where would you say, who would you say you are right now and who would you say you're wanting to become and what's going on with your clothes? So I've definitely become a bit more confident in life. I still want to be more confident, still want to be kick ass woman and whatever not. But definitely with my clothes recently I've toned down a lot and I've got a lot more fitter looking and I'm trying to find clothes to go with it because give it. About a year ago I was wearing baggy jumpers, baggy trousers, everything was just, I Had to cover up. I was too, too insecure to ever show any flesh. And then now, bit like I'm looking about to try and find something. It's a bit more flattering, a bit more showy. Op y. So what would you say, Lulu? What would you say to Elspeth? What would be the kind of questions that you would ask her to try and get her to that next level? She's just given me so much. I already know. Right, so what would be your advice? I mean, I would immediately suggest writing something like, you know, I am a kickass woman who is strong and learning to love myself, or even being even more present than that and loving myself every day. I am proud of my body. And having a mission statement like this, Jimmy, really, really helps you to kind of just have a little mantra in your head. And you know what I love about that is the fact that. Have you ever bought clothes? I know I've bought outfits when I've been at my peak and I've been like, right, I'm about to start my world book tour. I've just done this show. I've just spoken to 2,000 people live. I am on top of the. And then a while later, and I've just been in the office all week, and I might not feel as on as I was when I bought that outfit. So that outfit then doesn't get worn. And I wonder why. And I think sometimes we do buy these. These ideal outfits for who we're becoming, but then we forget to step into the feeling. So as you're saying there, if you have that written up and that becomes your mantra, then you can be reminding yourself, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I caught the other thing, you know, I call it, is having your anchor words. So when you step into that, into that store, you know, kick ass is one that, you know, you came out with it immediately. Let's hear that again, Elspeth, that word kick ass. Kick ass. Yeah. And strong. And, you know, maybe we'd find a third word within there. And when you're stepping into that store and it can feel so overwhelming, you have a place to navigate from. So when you're picking up, you know, a piece of clothing, you're like, is this kick ass enough? Is this strong enough? And when you try it on again, you're asking yourself, is it? Is it enough for me? And again, that's just brilliant because that's what we do as women. We're constantly navigating from a place of, am I good enough for this? Could I get away with this outfit. But now you've switched it completely. You've switched the power position and you're like, is this outfit good enough for me? And also you're walking into that store with a sense of, of course I belong here because I am this. Yeah. And you're also getting rid of it'll do. And I just tell people, tell us about it'll do. I'm sure we all have right the way through our lives. I'm sure we all have a lot of it'll do's. The majority of women, when they're unhappy and men when they're unhappy with their wardrobes, it's because they've bought items that will just do. I was in a rush to buy this because I had an occasion or, you know, just didn't really have enough money or, you know, it's all, it's all it'll do's. And so I try and encourage my clients to have this little alarm in their head that if they hear themselves sing, well, it'll do. Then walk away. Don't walk, run in those fabulous high heels. Yes. And what I love about that is I imagine that when you start doing that with clothes, that then becomes a thing that your brain does a way that your brain starts to process your existence. And so if you are settling for an it'll do jacket and you stop that, you nip that in the bud, then the next step thing is, am I settling for an it'll do relationship and it'll do job and it'll do amount of money? Like I can just, I can feel the cascade. Yeah, it impacts everything. And like you said with regards to shopping, you know, when you step into that store and you think, oh my goodness, it's all it'll do, then you immediately think, well, I need to go and find that kick ass shop. And you've raised your standards automatically just through that. I'm really feeling this already. I'm feeling how already, you know, just every single aspect of you and your life can be impacted. It's really not just clothes, is it? No. And the thing I would say though about the whole process is you have to realize that there's no such thing as effortless style. You have to put that awareness, intention into it all. Become mindful of how you're approaching your dressing, how you're building your wardrobe. I like that you called it awareness and not work. That was, that's just lovely. Because it, because it isn't, you know, going into an amazing store and trying on something that really calls to you and thinking about, who can I be in this world? Work isn't really the right word for it, but, you know, awareness and effort and action. There are things that you have to do. Yeah. And, you know, often the first bit of homework I give people is just to go and sit in a cafe and just look around. I mean, I am always, always just like, oh, I love what they're wearing. Oh, that's great. Especially when, you know, I live in Brighton, but I work so much in London and New York. When I'm out and about, I just get so inspired. But a lot of people aren't even open to it and their eyes aren't even open to it. So actually awareness for me probably comes from there because I'm like, well, just become aware of what's going on around you. You know, what are people wearing? What draws your eye in? So where would you put Elspeth? So where would you say to Elspeth that, you know, maybe go here and sit here and start looking at people? Because in fairness, there are some places where you're not going to get that inspired, where people, you know, maybe are living a more it'll do kind of life. And we all know that there's times where just getting by is all that can be done. And we're sending loads of love and really admiring the courage of people who are in that place. But once we're out of that place and we're able to step it forward, where would be an example of a kind of place that Elspeth could sit without having to spend her entire week's wages? Oh, my goodness. I mean, you're in London, so you have so much choice. I know you work in Soho, so, you know, you are. You can just step out your front door, go and find a coffee shop. You don't even need a coffee shop. You could be on a bench. You could literally just be on a bench and just look around for the people that aren't in the cities and stuff. You know, this is the positive power of Instagram, you know, And I do think that if you go into something like Instagram with the, again, mindful intention that you're there to get inspired and not compare, then it can be an incredible way to look at. And that's what I do when. When I go on Instagram. I love looking at your Instagram stories because I just know that there's going to just be some really great ideas and really great standards and different options, things that I hadn't thought about yet. Is it Lulu's Is that the story with an e in it? Yes, Lulu's story. And it's true that inspiration is everywhere. But if we're just looking at sort of the more, let's say the cheaper end of the market magazines and if we're just walking into the store that we think we can afford and going into the same places, we're not sort of getting opened up in the same way. Yeah. And it's not that you can't find great things, stuff in the lower priced stores, but you have to again, build your knowledge of what good quality looks like. You have to build your knowledge of good cut so that when you are in those lower priced stores, you can be more discerning. It is really important that you build that knowledge. You know, I used to work for Anthropologie, I used to work for Hobbs. Both those stores, very different. But I think would be a great place for, you know, to walk into and, you know, look at what real good quality, you know, tailoring looks like. But also the other scale of kind of more creative bohemian colors, print, clash, they're kind of two good extremes to start working out what, you know, grabs your eye. And even just starting with that one piece because when I'm coaching people, it's always we start off with, you know, one goal, one thing that that's going to be a win. And I imagine that if you just go and you have that, you know, that, that one thing I, I remember for myself, I, I bought this Dries van Noten top and then the next year, this is like way back in the late 90s the next year then I bought. Oh, who's the fabulous lady Furstenberg. Diane von Furstenberg. I bought a wrap dress by Diane von Furstenberg and it really opened out everything. And for a long time that was the only truly quality piece that I had. That top and then that dress. But it just sort of let me know all the time. It stopped me from, from dropping my standard. If the standard was way below that, I knew that I was kind of off track. Absolutely. And have that clear shopping list so that you don't get kind of taken off into different angles. Oh, goodness. Having a shopping list. We'll be definitely talking about that after this break. So you're here listening to Judy Mae Murphy speaking to UK's top stylist Lulu's Story. And we're going to talk more about how you can transform your life from the outside in using fashion style. All kinds of wonderful things coming up right after these women's radio station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion. Connecting women around the world in a global network is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education. We aim to show the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and a platform for your voice. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, a UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalised service. 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Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntous.org.uk Let me tell you about Jermyn Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten, this is where careers ignite, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germanstreettheatre.co.uk. you're listening to Women's radio station supporting women's well being. Coming soon will be a host of new shows supporting all areas of your well being. Shows that you can get involved in. So stay tuned. Womensradiostation.com here for you. Welcome to Judy Mayer's Listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your Life and I listen and together we transform everything. Welcome back, this is Judy Mamer. Today we're talking about transformation and self care from the outside in. How is it that you can transform everything starting with the way that you look, the way that you adorn yourself? See, I'm even learning new phrases here from Lulu's story. Our world expert on style, Lulu does tv, radio, magazines all around the world. And I think it's really important to mention is a lot of people, when they see how high she's flying, they automatically presume that she will be outside of their ability, that somehow she'll be too busy for them or that you won't be able to afford her. She's got lots of different ways that you can work with her. So please, you know, just find her online and she'll find a way to help you. Even if it's for now something like she might have a book that she can recommend or a particular shop she can recommend. She's very, very open to just connecting with you. So please do reach out and connect with her because she's, you know, she's not so famous yet, give it a couple of years, but she's not so famous yet that she'll just walk past. So we were chatting just before the break about, well, everything it seems and a thing that Marina, who's here with us today in studio, we've got a pretty full studio today. Marina was asking about concept stories and pop ups which made us kind of think about lifestyle and how it can sort of be broadened out. So we're talking about how you're wanting to become a different, better, more enhanced version of yourself and how clothes can do that and then does that then also change what's going on in the rest of someone's environment? Like for me, I'm all about the beautiful pens and I know that in the early 2000s when I started to get pens that were worth kind of 500 quid and were hand tooled and absolutely beautiful and stunning and one offs and all that, that really changed how I wrote and how I saw myself as a writer of books and other things. And so I'm just wondering, have you ever transformed somebody clothes wise and seen them grow into it and sort of been like, and now let's talk about your couch. How does, how does lifestyle fit in, how to concept stores and pop ups fit into this whole idea of transformation? Well, I think the first thing is to, you know, when people come to me often it's because they're like, I just don't even know where to start. I'm so lost. I don't know who I am. You know, they, they have no connection with their sense of self. And why is that, do you think? What's happened? Oh, they've just been so swept up in life now. It can be often about having children. It can often be about a very high profile, intense career or even I imagine that they never had it because they weren't mirrored back to themselves as kids. They weren't encouraged to be aware of themselves in that way. Absolutely. I also have a lot of women who work in very male dominated environments where they have to kind of disassociate themselves from any sort of feminine ways. Yeah, there's a whole ton of reasons, but for me that the thing I often ask right at the beginning is I just want you to find three things that you love. We all know about Marie Kondo and her term sparkling joy. Really understanding what that means and having the three things that just light you up. And I say to them, please don't think it has to be clothes or accessories or shoes. I want you just to look around you in your environment. What kind of things do people come up with for that? The art around them or the vase or the view from their window. Wedding photos. I mean a whole host of things, but rarely is it the clothes and shoes. And so getting that sense of, ah, this is something I like. So I do have something that's interesting about me. Can often just take the confidence up that little bit. And also I want them to feel that. What does it feel to like something? Because we go back to that feeling of it'll do. Often they've forgotten what it feels like to actually get like that little jolt of oh yes. And really that's what defines us as us. That that's what lets us know. It's like our preferences because our values are. Well, I prefer being honest to dishonest. I prefer. So our preferences are actually key. So if you've lost touch with your preferences, you've really lost touch with yourself. Absolutely. You put things so well. Thank you so much. I'm just really taking this all through from you. And did you ever find yourself in that position in life? Oh, yes. I mean, so throughout my whole 20s, I was constantly seeking who am I? What my bio. I would look at other people's jobs and be like, could I do that? Would that be interesting for me? And towards the end of my 20s, I kind of realized that all that seeking and searching, actually everything, everything was within everything. I Was naturally interested in, naturally preferred was I did. You know, I always wanted to dress people. It was always something that got me excited. I always loved understanding the psychology behind things and little tweaks of how we could make somebody more confident. I was thinking back to my management days recently, and I was training up a new. A new manager and she was really unconfident and I got her to go and do a power pose in the toilet before she did a manager, which I now get my clients to do. But, you know, so that it really, you know, it really. It's always been within me that interest in building people up and helping them. And when I had my daughter, we did everything. I don't know if I'd advise this, but we. I left my job, I moved to Brighton, I knew nobody, I had a child. And I set up a. You and your gorgeous firefighter husband. He is fabulous. He's gorgeous. I'm very lucky, very lucky to have him. And he. Sorry, now you're getting me stupid. Now we're all thinking about what was the question. And after having my daughter, I suffered with postnatal depression and a lot of anxiety. I had put on a lot of weight, as many mums do, and I felt. Looked in the mirror and I was just like, I don't know who I am. I really, really was so lost. I was so confused that this was my body. I felt so disconnected. And obviously you're so focused on this. Being that to kind of connect with yourself again just was such, you know, an arduous and confusing task, actually. But what I learned was it's the really small ways that we show up for ourselves. So I started a 30 second style challenge, which I did every day as a new mom. Oh, what's that? Little touch of lippy. Switching your trainers for, you know, a pair of boots, Shaving your armpits, which for me is important. Buying a new shower gel, anything that just you could do in literally 30 seconds. Little spritz of perfume and it's just. It seems to me that not only would that have the effect of you enjoying the result of it, but also a sort of reminder that you can affect something, that you do have power, that you. That you can affect change in your physical environment. Yeah. And everything didn't have to just be practical, that I could encourage a bit of beauty. I could encourage something that maybe was frivolous and that's a really interesting word when I'm. I had one particular client and I. And you could tell she loved these kind of. She on her three things sent these incredible bits of art. You know, they were worth a lot of money. That was the thing that really got her lit up. But yet, when it came to almost adorning herself in the same way with her clothes, she felt a bit guilty. Isn't it that interesting that particularly when we are so affected by masculine environments, we think that things like that have to be justified? Yes. We have to justify its practical use. It's kind of like we can great. We can get those great Louis Vuittons or we can get those great Jimmy Choos, as long as we can also drive a nail into the wall with them is kind of the thinking. Right. And the fact that we would just get pleasure from it and enjoy it and that it would just be a nice thing somehow isn't okay. And yet in the masculine world, there are tons of things that they do that are just about that. Like, you know, watching the football. If you think about what football is, what soccer is, is the two groups of people just kind of clashing against each other and trying to, you know, have a ball go one way and then the other way, it's not really progress. It's not really. It's quite frivolous. It is frivorous. I love it. Yeah, it is. And yet they would never justify it. So they would have to justify it. Absolutely. So we need, I think, to stop justifying what works for us in our lives, that if we need the slightly more expensive, slightly smaller bottle of bath gel, because it smells gorgeously of strawberries, then we need to do that and not feel that we have to explain it to everybody. I saw a really great thing. I'm slightly going on a tangent here, but I saw a really great thing that came out of Ireland last week, and someone had made this, had doctored an atm, a cash machine. And so women would go up to this cash machine and they would press the amount of money that they wanted to take out. And rather than the amount of money being spat out, as you would expect, it started to ask questions like, what do you want this for? What do you have to spend it on? Is it for groceries? Is it for this? And women were getting quite annoyed saying, well, I shouldn't have to explain. I shouldn't have to explain. But again, as women, we spend so much time explaining and justifying our very existence and our preferences. Yes. So it seems to me that something as simple as those 30 seconds of dropping into, you know, I am now choosing this is just so, so powerful. Yeah. And just having, you know, I Am frivolous. And I love it. Like just owning that kind of, you know, sentence. We, you know, we do a lot of those kind of turnarounds to really empower people to, to not feel guilty about it. That's a big part of the work. So what was the big turnaround for you? Just very briefly, what was it that got you from that place of just not knowing whose body is this, whose life is this, into really owning it and stepping into it? Well, I think learning to love myself and really cherish who I was. And I had the tools in my toolbox, I knew how to get dressed and I just thought, I'm gonna start there. And the business has come from that. You know, it's really my own journey to confidence I can now share with other people. But you did it with yourself first and now you know that you're able to do it with everybody else. Exactly. So if you just tuned in now, you are listening to Judy Mae's listening. I'm Judy Mae Murphy and I'm here speaking to UK's top stylist Lulu Storey today. And what we're talking about is transformation from the outside in. Because a lot of times we kind of focus on spirituality, we focus on, you know, changing ourselves psychologically. And sometimes we can forget that we can work both ends of it, that you can do it from the inside out. And so you can transform yourself and you can make things even more amazing. And then, you know, the feeling gives rise to a certain outer result. But also what we're learning from Lulu in an amazingly powerful way today is how we can take the outside and change the outside. Because sometimes you might not be able to find that inner feeling or you might not be able to have that inner breakthrough. But hey, everybody can just reach into that drawer, find that old lippy at the back of the drawer and whack it on, look in the mirror and say, hey, you know what? That's just that little bit better that counts. My life is getting better. Welcome to women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on Women's Radio station. Hello and welcome to future classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on women's radio station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and, and we're at women's radio Station supporting women's well being and we're talking all things autism women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Falguni Desai of Action Coach Are you a business owner with more than five employees? Do you want to grow your business? I'm a London based business coach who helps small and medium sized businesses to grow and make a profit. I will help you identify the strengths and weaknesses in your business and then work with you to improve it using a structured framework. To find out more, contact me on 072-16-54640 and book your one hour complimentary one to one coaching session. Thank you. Hi, I'm Tracey Weedon of Brownhill Insurance Group. We are an award winning family run insurance broker covering a wide range of insurance products ranging from commercial lines to personal household, high net worth and fine art. You can contact us on 0208-658-4334 or visit our website www.brownhillgroup.co.uk for your free no obligation quotation at Brownhills. We've got you covered. Hi, I'm Carolyn Van Beers. Please join me for a brand new show here on women's radio station Its Mother's Hour. If, like me, you're a mum juggling far too many balls and dropping most of them, this is definitely the show for you. 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For more information on how you can sponsor a show, go to womensradiostation.com women the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Welcome to Judy Mayer's Listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life and I listen and together we transform everything. Absolutely. Transforming everything. And why not? You're here listening to Women's Radio Station. I'm Judy Mae Murphy and we support women's well being and a big Part of well being, as we know, is all about making sure that you are feeling the way that you want to feel in a day, that you're getting the results that you want to get, that you're knowing how powerful you are, and particularly you're knowing that no matter what is going on, that feels not right. No matter what is going on, that feels effortful or even feels endless, knowing that you're not alone in this and that it's not endless, and that with a few changes, that you can really transform everything. And very often, the bit that people get stuck on are those first baby steps. But what do I do now? What do I do? Say before I lose the weight, before I transform my body, before the money starts coming in, before this problem goes away, what can I do right now? And before the break, Lulu was talking to us about the 30 seconds style challenge. What's another thing that someone could do, maybe in terms of, you know, just clearing out, looking at, you know, making some more space just so you can breathe into the idea of a new wardrobe and a new self? Yeah. I mean, it's so important that you have to get the foundations right. You have to be happy with everything that's in your wardrobe. But for a lot of people, it can feel very overwhelming because maybe they have a lot to get rid of. So, as always, start small and open that underwear drawer and get that sorted. And if even that feels too big, you then just start with your socks. You know, get rid of all the ones with holes in them, unless you're going to take time to darn them. And who even knows how to do that these days? Unless your name is MABEL and you're 90 years old, chances are you're getting rid of your socks. Chances are you're throwing the socks, or at least, you know, finding a way to recycle them. Right. Yeah. And I think then if you start, you know, with those foundations, making sure that, you know, do your bras fit? When was the last time that you got, you know, got measured? Are you comfortable in your pants? Oh. Oh, my gosh. That's the book. That's. That's definitely the Lulu story book. Are you comfortable in your pants? Fantastic. It's so important, isn't it? Yeah. Anything that's too far up there is just not anything that you've got to, you know, send a search party for. Maybe needs to be looked at again. Exactly. Beautiful. Start with that drawer. And there's so much advice online about clearing out your wardrobes. I've got some great blog Posts on my website. You do indeed. Thestylingstory.co.uk and really just get clear on what you own. Make sure that everything fits. Anything that has holes in it falling apart, fix it or get rid. Oh, I gotta share this with you. I had this dress that was my go to dress for so long, was like a 1940s floral kind of thing. I'm sure you saw it on my Facebook and on my Instagram. And I walked my. You're so. You've got it right. That's. I walked with my little like white high top converts. Yeah. Sat on the st and just. I was just like. I was the 40s. I was everything good about the 40s. I wasn't the second world war, but I was everything good about the 40 s. When I wore that dress, it was kind of timeless. And, you know, there's an innocence to it and a style to it and. And I love that dress so much. And then I realized, do you know what? It's actually giving away at the seams and sometimes you've got to move things on that were so right. Yeah. Just because they're not right anymore. And that can feel a little bit heartbreaking. But once you do. I remember just once I, you know, put it out there. I didn't even wait to recycle. I said, if I don't throw it out now, I'm going to lose the confidence to move it on. And interestingly, as soon as I did that, I found myself just finding piece after piece, like dress after dress after dress that didn't just replace that dress, but actually took me to that better place. So sometimes you've got to just be a little bit courageous about it. Yeah. And if you're finding it difficult to let it go, then really set. I'm all about intentions. You know, it's that whole thing. If you open up your wardrobe and you say, I've got nothing to wear, you're not going to find anything. If you just switch that to oh, I wonder what I could wear today, then you'll be far more curious. So again with, you know, getting rid of stuff. What do you want your wardrobe to look like by the end of it? So open up your, your cupboard doors and say, by the end of it, I want to have everything in here that, you know, fits, that looks great. I feel amazing in. And that way when you're then asking yourself about the dress, you're like, well, it doesn't actually fit the intent. It just suddenly occurred to me that that is completely like what we do with our fridges as well, isn't it? We open the fridge and we stand in front of it and we expect it. Even though there was nothing that we could find yesterday to eat, we somehow magically expect it to be full of things that we can eat today. And you know, that, that like half eaten jar of mayo and that, you know, really dodgy thing that you think was maybe from two days ago the takeaway, but it might have been from four days ago. It's not going to cut it. So it just, it really makes sense. The first thing you got to do is everything that is not of the dream has to be moved on. Everything that's not your future, better self needs to be moved along. And I'm sure then you can start thinking of that in terms of colleagues, acquaintances, the people around you. Yeah, you just raise your standard all round. And I do think you can allow yourself a few memory pieces, you know, and this is where, you know, people will stand differently. But we often with the clients at the beginning will agree, right, Five memory pieces. And then again, if you're somebody that holds onto things, it's like, is this good enough for those five memory pieces? Actually, no, you know, or take a picture or remember the picture of you in it. You know that we just talked about a picture of you in it. So actually the dress is still really alive for both of us. And you've got to remember that letting go of the dress doesn't mean the memory disappears. And I think often people get very concerned that it will mean that part of their lives gets forgotten about. And I love these different things that people do now. They're getting very, very creative where they sometimes just cut out a little square of something that they loved and then they make it into a cushion or some kind of a keepsake. So there's always an answer, always answers, always ways just get creative around it. But, you know, do be strict. You've got standards and you want to feel fabulous every day. You want to have a wardrobe that you open inspires you. Because you can't dress from a place that just makes you feel like when you open the doors. What would you say is an example of without giving any details away about the client? Because I know you're completely private when it comes to your clients, but can you remember someone who you sort of said, yes, this is why I do this. What was the actual transformation? What was the. They went from being this to being this through the process of being styled by you. A client who actually I still work with on A monthly basis. But she worked from home and she loves horses, very outdoorsy. And so she, her world was actually quite small. It was her home life that she was in. And when she came to me, she was like, I don't really think there's any. Anything you can do for me now. We're still working together. Oh, goodness. I think we must be coming up to eight months, maybe 10 months. And every day she gets dressed. She has clothes that work for her time with the horses and she has clothes that work for her office. She sees herself as stylish. She goes out and gets compliments on what she wears. It makes her want to connect with the world and herself. And she is starting even, you know, to own the word fashionable, which when we first met, you know, she would have been horsey, practical. The switch is just changed. And for her it's really been a way to just completely see a new side of herself because I imagine she still is very practical. It's not about letting go of what you were before, but it's just about enhancing and adding to. And just by understanding the colors that suit you means that you can still do practical, but you can radiate with the colors that really reflect against your skin, that light your eyes up. It's about adding that little vintage brooch on. You know, there's always something that's not being used at home that could just add that bit of personality to your day to day. And it gets her in. You know, her business is going from strength to strength. It gets her head in the game. And that's the really key takeaway that I would say people can remember. One thing is it start using clothes as a tool to really empower you. You know, something that you can boost your everyday. You know, how do I want to feel today? Do you know what I'm going to start doing? I'm going to start dressing differently throughout the day. It's a thing that women used to do, like at the height of the stylish eras, women, they got that you'd have, you know, one thing for breakfast and then you have your. You change for lunch and then you would change again for afternoon tea. And just because you are, you know, deploying different parts of you at different times of the day and just maybe adding a scarf or. I'm completely sounding. I love it, I love it, I love it. The thing is that we. You have to ask, what energy do I want to bring to the room? You know, I was, I sat and I met with this woman who just retired CEO of one of the biggest retailers. And it was something she innately got. You know, she got this. And this is the thing that people at the top of their industries, they do just get how to turn up and dress. And she said to me, you know, I always actually, yes, I always think about what energy do I want to bring? Am I trying to disturb the room? Am I actually trying to make the room feel kind of more settled? And I think that's the thing. Your different roles will need different energies. Oh, beautiful. I'm highly aware that we only have a couple more minutes with the Amazing Lulu story, so if I can just ask you, what would. What would you say would be, you know, three essentials, three things maybe that we've talked about today, that if women were just to remember those three things, that they can really bring their lives forward. So, number one, I would really allow yourself to feel the way you want to feel in your clothes. Don't deny yourself of it. If you want to be more glamorous, then find ways. I would say start small. Got to remind yourself how to do self care. Small, small touches make all the difference. And I think thirdly, just get rid of. It'll do. If you do that, then you're gonna look fabulous. Oh, wonderful. Lulu's story. Thank you so much for being here on Judy Mae is Listening today. I'm Judy Mae Murphy. If you have anything that's going on in your life, every single show, even if we're not reading out exact emails from people, often we do, sometimes we don't. But every single show, we're always taking what it is that you have communicated to me your concern. And we're making sure that we just really dig deep on it because it's quite easy to get tips on things and just do this, just do that. But really looking at how is this going to work for you, how is this going to actually have a huge transformational impact? And it might be something like that. You might now be inspired to hire a stylist. It might be that you might be inspired to check into Instagram a lot more. So whatever it is that's happening as a result of having listened to us for the last hour, please do check out Lulu's story, story with an E. And you can check me out as well on Instagram and on Facebook. JudyMayMurphy. And come along with us on this journey. This is all about you. See you very, very soon. 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