Radical Well-Being – Johnathan Medina & Angie B, Chevonesse Smith

Hey guys. Welcome back to Women's Radio Station. My name is Ingrid Marsh and this is the Radical Wellbeing Show. We are here at our wonderful studios in Covent Garden supporting women's wellbeing. Well, this week I'm on a mission for us to go just that little bit deeper, deep, deep, deep for us to slow down our thinking and question things just that little bit more. Now to help me with this, my first guests today are Angie B. And a wonderful gentleman called Jonathan who's created this great documentary called Imperfections. And this documentary is questioning the simple question of beauty. Now this is a really important topic for women right now for Women's Radio because 92% of all plastic surgeries taken out this year was underwent by women. And by 2020 it's believed that almost one and a half million of us in the UK will have had a non surgical treatment such as Botox or fillers. So please remember to engage with us on this really important topic. Our email address is present@womensradio station.com Angie. Hi, how are you? Jonathan? Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm. Good day. Great stuff. Jonathan. It's Jonathan Medina, isn't it? Jonathan Medina and Angie B. Yeah, fabulous. Listen guys, thank you so much for joining us. You've created this wonderful documentary, really questioning this topic called beauty. Okay, so Jonathan, please kick start, tell us about this. Well, yeah, it's just I look around and I see all the pressure and stuff like that that women have to face. And I'm seeing a lot of, you know, there's a lot of, a lot of things that kicks down the women's self esteem. You know, there's too much of that going on. You look at the magazines, most of the women are either plastic, artificial, you know, blonde hair, blue eyes kind of thing. And this is, this is the image that's put around. If you look at all these people, you know, they're seeing these celebrities, they're deemed as perfect. The more plastic know you are, the more perfect you are. But for me I don't really think it's the case. You know, this is shoved down your throat, this is all you see. Everywhere you turn, you turn, you look at the tv, you look at the magazines, you look everywhere, you're going to see these people, these artificial enhanced people and that's what's considered beauty. But I don't agree with that. Now I've never had a man on my show before so to have a man doing female empowerment is pretty cool. So I like. So first of all, big up to you. I love you for that. You're part of the cause. So, Andrew, what was your part in all of this? I had to sort of say, what is beauty to me? And as a mature woman, I mean, I'm 57 years young, I feel the pressure, especially trying to sort of make it into sort of like mature modeling, because all I was being confronted with was the long silver hair and they, like, really skinny. And obviously you could see that they had some medical enhancement. And I've been fighting against that ever since. So to me, beauty's just got lost in translation as far as I'm concerned. Now, don't forget, guys, log on to our website, womensradiostation.com there'll be a pictures of both Jonathan and Angie B. You're going to see Angie Bean. Think how come she's having these problems. This is absolutely crazy. So, Jonathan, just back over to yourself. Tell us a bit what happens. Tell us basically what happens in the documentary. So the documentary just consists of. I've got a whole different bunch of people who are different age, different generation, different. You know, they're different stages of their life, and just a whole bunch of diverse people. And what I just did is just put everyone together and show everyone getting along, interacting. I got a whole bunch of people doing them. I had different icebreaker activities that got people engaged and involved. And if you see. You'll see them having fun and doing these activities, the icebreaker activities, just showing everyone getting along and having a good time. So you really wanted to go beyond the surface, is that right? To sort of get into that inner person. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, that's. That's the whole idea. Now, you've got a big old challenge here, right? The baaps, that's the only organization that is solely dedicated to safety and education and cosmetic surgery. If you look on their website, the statistics for. For cosmetic surgery is just through the roof now. While the high street is struggling, this area is absolutely booming. Do you not have, like, your work cut out here? Are you not kind of fighting a losing battle? Yeah, and to a certain degree, yeah. But I think we're in a time now, especially people are now waking up. You know, you've got people like Alicia Keys. If you've seen what she's been doing with the whole no makeup movement. When she first started doing it, people were like, oh, what are you doing? A woman that beautiful already doesn't need makeup. So once she started making that her regular look, this woke a few people up. You know, if a woman that beautiful can accept who she is. You know, this turned a few heads, so I think people are waking up. But, you know, unfortunately, as your stats show, it is high from. For this reason, you know, it's unfortunate. You know, they're making money, they're making loads of money of other people's insecurities. Yeah, I hear you. But is there not a difference between. Or is there a difference, I don't know what your view is on this, Angie, between makeup, which I wear, which I see as simple grooming, to then going into cosmetic surgery. What's your view, Angie? Oh, I think there's a big difference. I mean, makeup is just. Just a little bit of, I'm gonna say paint, decoration, just to enhance what. What you have. But with the cosmetic surgery, it's just completely changing your whole look, your whole being. It's not you anymore. You just changing. And the surgeon's just doing to hit what he thinks it's right. And you're just different. You're going to look different. So I don't know when you feel. I don't know if they're going to feel like themselves. They'll just feel happier, I guess. Maybe just a fleeting moment. Yeah. So this is the thing that was worrying for me is that I was in a conversation the other day amongst family and friends and extended family and friends, and there was a conversation going on about plastic surgery, and they were speaking about. As if they were talking about lipstick. You know, this is a great plastic surgeon, or no, don't use him, he's really good. Or you can go here to get it done. And this was like normal conversation I felt quite left out of. And that's what the statistics show, that mums and children are rocking up to the clinics now, now for plastic surgery. They just see it as the norm. And when something starts being seen as the norm, that's a little bit scary, don't you think? And once again, I just feel that almost your voice could get lost amongst that. What do you think, Jay? No, this is true. This is now considered norm. But you have to be at end of the day, I think you have to be real to yourself. If it's not with you, if it's not for you, then don't. If you're against it, stand by it. Don't give in to the fact that you have to fit in everyone else's box, bubble shoe, whatever you want to call it, stand. Stand by yourself. If you have to, stand by your beliefs, stand by your morals. I think that's important to Remain. And that's the reason why I did the documentary in the first place, is to show individuality and to promote that. And that's my cause as, you know, female empowerment coach. Even on my own website, ingridmarsh.com you can see lots of work I do around empowerment. But you talk about individuality, you talk about expression. These are some of the battles that I'm facing. But we've always been taught as women to conform. We've been taught since a very, very young age to fit in. And almost the moment you do step out of that, you are shamed back into that box again. Do you have a view on that? I think that's the same for men as well. This whole thing with men not showing their emotions. Some of my poems that I do, I do touch up on these things, but specifically the treatment of people, men not showing the emotions. And when men do go through things, they don't talk about it. You know, this is a, this is the thing that men are facing right now. You know, men are killing themselves at a higher rate because they can't cope in this society. You know, this man up thing is something that men are facing. So this is something that I think we're both going through, men and women. Yeah, I hear you. And they say suicide amongst men at the moment is soaring. It's soaring out of this world right now. Yeah. For this reason, I think, because they can't fit in this whole thing of being a man thing. Yeah. These labels, these stereotypes, these walls, they drive me insane too. So moving on a bit. You said in the documentary, and I've seen the documentary guys, and what's the website? Just they want to see this documentary. How do they log on and see that? It's on my YouTube channel. My YouTube channel. So you type J Megiddo, which is J.M E G I double D O. Imperfections, the documentary. So I have imperfections. The poetry video itself. I have the documentary as well. Separate. Great stuff. I will make sure we put that on the link there as well as people can log in to see that. And I remember the part as well where you're getting people who don't look like each other to speak to each other. Now I know once again, that's a big old deal because our brains are not programmed to speak to people who do not look like we do. So how did that work? How did you find people? Even part of my own program, I get people to speak to people they wouldn't ordinarily speak to. And initially that flags up Fit your views on that. Well, what I decided to do is I spoke to everyone. I had to hand select who I wanted to come. And you know, I looked around and I could see these are the right people that will fit for each other. And it turned out it was an absolute right call in the end. We had so much fun at the end of it. I mean, this is something that I'm going to remember for the rest of my life. I'm not even joking. It was an amazing day, amazing experience. I was stressed, I was tired. I was up early, of course, setting up, finishing. Like I was completely exhausted the whole entire time. But I had so much fun. It was amazing. I always still watch it back and I'm like, I can't believe that actually happened that, you know. And for you, Angie, were you in that situation? We had to speak to someone who looks nothing like you, that you've never had to spoke to before, you never spoken to before type person. You never spoke actually to me. It was quite natural for me because I've always been that kind of person. I've never been one that's wanted to be put in a box. So I will speak to whoever I want to speak to. If they do something wrong to me, then I've learned that, then I move on. But I've always been that way. And I suppose I get ridiculed for it sometimes, but I don't care. Wonderful. I love it. Okay, guys, our time is short. This is how quickly it flies by. But I just want you to give me, if you don't mind, a share of my audience, three radical tips you'll give them. You could give them about inner beauty, about, you know, sort of breaking through the boundaries. I know. Let's kick start with yourself, Jonathan. Well, actually, I want to let Angie go. I want to let Angie answer two. Okay, Andrew, you go ahead. She's a woman as well. Go ahead as you go, ladies. Just do you. Oh, God. Okay, don't worry. So do you. That's tip number one. Do you. Do you want to do one, Jonathan? I'm still trying to. Don't give it polish. Just keep it real. Don't let people's insecurities. How can I say this? Just spit it out. Don't let people's insecurities. I've only got a couple. Don't let people's insecurity project on you. People have their own image of how they want you. You to look to suit them. Okay, cool. Yeah, wicked. That was two. That was fantastic, guys. Listen, thank you Very much for joining us. You've given us a website address to the documentary. Please log on there and see. Guys, do stay with us. The next topic we're speaking about anxiety. You've got to stay with us for that. Don't forget to log on to our website presentersomensradiostation.com Share your views about beauty. Thank you so much for joining us. Don't forget to stay tuned, stay listening. Coming up next, we have the wonderful Chevonix with us. Welcome to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station Supporting Women's wellbeing and we're talking all things autism women. The possibilities of are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Lauren Mishkon. I'm a birth doula and mum of three and I'm passionate about supporting women to have empowering and positive birth experiences. Please join me for my brand new show From Tummy to Mummy here on Women's Radio Station. Every week I'll be here with an expert guest talking about women's reproductive health, everything fertility, pregnancy, birth and baby related, right through to the menopause and beyond. Please join us for an informative and fun hour. Hello, my name is Ingrid Marsh on Women's Radio Station and coming soon is the Radical Wellbeing show to help support women's wellbeing. Each show I share the airwaves with ordinary women like me and you, doing extraordinary things. Women who've overcome huge obstacles in their lives, who are now here with me to empower you on the Radical Wellbeing Show. You'll be inspired to kick away the roadblocks and live your life to the fullest. If you're ready to get radical about your well being, then this is the show for you. Hi, I'm Hazel Butterfield, a blogger, book lover and mental health advocate and you can listen to my show. Get booked here at Women's Radio station daily at 5am and 5pm throughout my shows, we'll talk about the books I've read, new releases, channels to authors, publishers and book enthusiasts, all with a theme and aim of supporting women's emotional well being. If you have a book to tell us about, get in touch@presentersomensradiostation.com join me on my show and share my love of books and writing. Hi, I'm Valentina Barbacci and I'm the Executive Director of Media Matters for Women. We're a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth on mobile phones, focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@media mattersforwomen.org you're listening to Women's Radio Station supporting women's well being. Women's Radio Station's creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter Women's Radio station, that's Womens Radio STN or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs. Hey guys, welcome back to Women's Radio Station. We're on the air at our wonderful studio here at Covent Garden supporting women's world well being and as always, we are happy. I want you to engage with us via our email address@presenterswomensradiostation.com now, carrying on my theme of going deep, my next topic I'm covering today is talking about anxiety and that kind of thing with the wonderful Chevonie Smith. Important topic. One in ten people in the UK are likely to suffer with this limiting anxiety disorder. So Chevanese does a wonderful poem on this. We can talk about that, how she deals that poetry and that kind of thing is truly beautiful. But we're just going to kick start. We're going to go straight in with chevron D poem. Okay. Anxiety feels like the loud humming of a wasp you can't see. Anxiety feels like catching butterflies with your mouth. Butterflies that reverse caterpillar, reverse cocoon into caterpillars. You feel them crawling around in your stomach. Anxiety feels like a boxing match between you and your own breath. The result either ways that you lose. Anxiety feels like rinsing your mouth with salt water and accidentally swallowing a little bit. It's a terrible taste of your own mistakes. Anxiety feels like being trapped in a room with closing walls made of spikes, floor made of lego and a roof made of asteroids. There's no escaping this dreadful fate. Anxiety feels like throwing rocks at a wall made of rubber bands. The harder you try to get rid of it, the harder it hits back. Anxiety feels like praying for the sun after 13 days of rain only to open up your window and see a tsunami of waves. Anxiety feels like being Pac man in a world with no power pellets, just ghost, no strength to fight. You can run, but there's no place to hide. Anxiety feels like trying to escape a forest of falling trees with no oxygen, you cannot breathe. Anxiety feels like smoking 20 cigarettes one after the other in your bedroom, on your own with your windows closed, your doors closed. Black smoke, you can't see your way out. Anxiety feels like being trapped in a space shuttle and hearing the panic buzzer buttons flashing everywhere, no signal to earth. You sit and hope that it stops, but it gets louder and louder. You scream until the air around you occupies your lungs. Till they explode. Anxiety feels like wanting them to explode. Anxiety feels like wanting everything to explode. Oh, wow, gosh, wow, my hair is on end. And that was the reason poetry is important to me, spoken word poetry, because it really allows you to go into other people's world. And I kept hearing this word, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. And I'm going to be totally honest with you, it was another word in the world and we are bombarded with words and it will just be like another word. But what I found about that poem was that it made me really understand it. That's why I was like, oh, Shamliz, you have to come on to the show and share that. So thank you so much for making me understand it. Now, how did this first come about? How did you first start experiencing the anxiety? What kick things off and what you can remember from early adulthood? I would say from the age of around 20, I think that's when I really noticed it, but I think it started a lot earlier. I've been on my own, so to speak, like living on my own since I was 17 and dealing with like adult stuff from such a young age, bills and all the sorts. And I didn't realize all the anxiety that it was causing. And until I actually was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and is when little things, it wasn't just. It started small and then little things just started pushing me over the edge with anxiety. So it started off with like the bills and stuff, things that I didn't notice. And all of a sudden going to school, going to work or uni would be a problem, that sort of thing. Right. I know you lost your mum at a very young age as well, didn't you? Do you want to tell us a little bit about that? Yeah, yeah. My mum passed away when I was 12 and that was in Jamaica. We lived in Jamaica together. My dad lived here in the UK. So at the age of 12, me and my brother came on the plane together. That was also another big life changing event that was like just me and my brother as kids dealing with that, being away from our family. And I didn't know my dad that well because he left when I was five. So we spoke on the phone and stuff, but I never, I didn't really know I had a sister here that I didn't know. And all these things were just changing. So yeah, you had to deal with some real challenging grown up issues from quite a young age. And tell us a bit about poetry, do you use that as an outlet? Oh yeah, for sure, yeah. I don't know what I'd do without poetry. Like I've been writing since I was 12. I started by writing letters to my mom, I can't remember who advised me to do that when I was very young actually. And I think it was one of my cousins to just write to her. And I started writing and I had this little diary and then I just started writing like rhymes and stuff, getting creative with it because I'm a creative person, like whatever I do, I like to bring creativity to it. So yeah. And then I started writing rhymes and it's really. We spoke about this last week, didn't we, that you. Because I said when I write poetry I think of normal talk and then I have to switch it. But you spoke about that. You think poetically, is that right? I think in rhymes now I do anyways. It's like I trained my brain to do that. So yeah. Okay. So I mentioned in the lead up that 1 in 10 people are now suffering with anxiety, especially amongst the millennials. What do you think about that? What's your view on that? I've been trying to do my own research on it actually, because I think it's interesting that it's so prevalent now. And I'm wondering if it's because of the social media. I read a lot of books on anxiety and social media and stuff like that, how the world is progressing. One that I read recently was called Notes on the Nervous Planet. Really good by Mark. I forget his surname, but yeah, and I think there's lots of research going into it and I think it has a lot to do with how fast we're moving as a generation now, as a society. We're moving a lot faster than we were. Our brains are meant to be. So yeah, it's funny because my last guest, we'd run out of time. I want to say the same thing again. I wanted to Blame, you know, they just feel the social media thing is a lot to blame. Moving fast. I mean, I'm really glad you mentioned that, because it's of my own training when I go to people, it's at the core is to slow down our thinking. Slow down, slow it down, slow it down. And we are moving at speed at the moment. Now, you say you really want to impact the millennials, the younger generation, to start writing and stuff like that. Could you just expand on that? Why do you think that's important? Because when I was younger, I found it very hard to deal with my. And now still, I find it very hard to deal with my emotions or express my emotions or talk about things. And I think poetry and connecting with poets. In the last couple years, since I've been connecting with poets and be more around people who are emotionally open, I realized that I heal a lot quicker by talking about my issues and stuff instead of, like, bottling stuff up. I think talking about it helps more than anything. And that's why, you know, therapy works so well, because it's not just about having a professional, even having a good friend that you can talk to or just write in or sharing your emotions. Unload them, I think is very important. I love therapy because I love talking about me. It's all about you, isn't it? Therapy's great, but let's keep it real. I know certainly my age group in my era, talking about things like mental health, anxiety, and all the rest of it was a big no, no. There was so much stigma attached. Do you think we've moved on? Can we speak about these things more, do you think? Or if there's still a stigma where we still have to fit in, conform, and stay into our box and not talk about these things. What's your view? I think we're getting there slowly, and I think that's why I'm glad to be here today. And I'm glad that you're talking about these sorts of things, because I think it's very important just to keep talking about it so more people can get more comfortable with it, because the more we hide away from things, the less comfortable we are, and then we're even more. It becomes, like, stigmatized when it doesn't need to be. It's just because we're afraid to talk about it. Yeah. And you're from Jamaica. I know the Jamaica culture very well. My parents are from Jamaica. So when I told my parents I was depressed, my dad, I was depressed. He was like, what? What do you mean you're depressed. You don't have nothing to be depressed about. All this stuff, like, they don't really, they don't really understand. They don't understand depression. And the thing is, I feel bad for my parents as well and the older generation because they've dealt with it, but they've never addressed it in such a way that they could. They just took it all on and like they. But I think also that's bad because like, that's bad in the way of raising your children because you pass that trauma onto your children. If you don't learn to heal, if you take it as, oh, this is what life is supposed to be, you don't understand that. Like I told my dad, I was meditating, he didn't understand that, like, you know what I mean, to like balance myself out. He did. He really doesn't understand the, the self healing process. And that's one thing that I carry with me. I don't want to pass my trauma onto my children when I do have children. So that's, that's one thing that's very important to me. Yeah, and I hear that. I mean, because there's people who come to me from my age group, my era and older with certain pubs I want to say to look, do mindfulness, do meditation. I know they look at me like, are you off your rocker? You know, they just can't understand new age stuff. Yeah. So on a positive note, then you see this getting better, do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. That things improve, that kind of thing. And, and the. I know you mentioned social media, that kind of thing. Once again, we're running out of time. But for people going through the same, I know amongst young people at the moment, something like 1 in 4 of them have mental health issues and what have you. So we are called the radical well being show. So I want radical tips. What three radical tips would you share with my audience who were going through the same thing? Chevonix? I would say meditation definitely top self compassion. Learn to be gentle with yourself and to take it slow, to slow down, have a morning routine is very good as well. One thing that really helped my anxiety is being in a routine. It's not even like I don't like routine, I don't like to stick to mundane daily tasks. But having a get up like 30 minutes before, just have that 30 minutes to do whatever. You write down your actions for the day, what you want to do, just some sort of something to motivate you. So you feel, because life can feel like a struggle, like you're fighting against life. And I think just to have your goals set out is really good to know where you're going because then you don't feel so beaten up. Even if you do get beat down a little bit, you know that the next day you're gonna get up and try again. Try again, try again. Yeah. And I love what you said about space, that breathing space, space around our thoughts, space around our words, space around our life. I think that's integral. You are awesome. You do the most beautiful poetry I know because I've listened to, I know most of them and they're absolutely wonderful. If people want to get in touch with you and to, you know, be in touch with Chevonisse, the poet, how do they do that? So Chevonise on Instagram and it's C H E V O N E, double S, double E. Fantastic. And don't forget, guys. Thank you very much, Chevonise. Don't forget, guys. I want you to engage with us please@presentersomensradiostation.com I'm back here next month with a whole new show, you know, big up to my guests. You are both absolutely awesome. Hope you've enjoyed the show, guys. And please keep engaged with us. This is Ingrid Marsh at the Women's Radical Wellbeing Show. Thank you. Welcome to the women's radio station. Supporting women's well being. Women's Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education and most importantly, women's well being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website womensradiostation.com for more information. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. 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