Hello, this is Anna Kennedy at Women’s Radio Station, voice of women worldwide, talking all things autism and we’re live. Today my guest is Dawn Asifer and I’m going to be talking to Dawn about being a mum of a young lady on the autism spectrum and also a grandmother of three children on the autism spectrum. Hello there, Dawn.

Hey, Anna. How are you today? I’m good, thank you. Long time, no see.

I know this is weird because usually you’re interviewing me. I know, that was a long time ago now. I know, so how long ago was it when we first met? Can you remember? Oh, you know, I was talking to my friend about it earlier and I can’t remember.

I know I was following you for years before we met, so it’s really difficult to remember when. I think it was about the Wear It For Autism, the first ever show we met for the first time. Yeah, so that was about five years ago, six years ago.

I don’t know where the time goes. I know, so Wear It For Autism was something that we did where we celebrated moms, dads, carers, grandparents, autistic children, autistic adults, and they had a full makeover and they walked down the catwalk and Hannah was on the very first one that we did. She was.

It was quite emotional, wasn’t it? It really was. Yeah, there was a lot of weeping from moms and we had, no, it was exciting. I was quite, it was quite nerve wracking because I’d never done anything like that before, but it was such a fantastic success.

We did it in Soho if I believe it. Yeah, it was, it was great. Okay, so you were formerly a manager of the Carers Charity in Croydon and you used to present a radio show called The Carers Show where obviously we first met, I believe.

Yeah. So on the show, you used to signpost guests with people with disabilities, carers, professionals and organisations. So tell me a little bit about how you got into speaking on the radio, really.

Well, I started off as a carer and like everybody else, at the beginning of my journey, I didn’t know anything and I was just scrabbling around for any information I could get to be, you know, an effective carer and to help my daughter. And how old was Hannah when she was first diagnosed? She was three when she was first diagnosed. So quite early, really? Yeah, when she was younger, she presented in a very severe way, but with strategies and tools put in place, you know, she’s managed to come along.

And she’s fortunate in that way. But I sort of started off going into the carers centre for advice myself. I didn’t know anything and I just didn’t know where to start.

Okay, where was that in Croydon? Yeah, because when Hannah got her diagnosis, you know, I don’t know what it’s like now, but in that day, they would just give you a folder and say, you know, there you go, have a nice life. So how long did the process take? And the process for Hannah’s diagnosis, it was about six months. Because in that day, you had to have two diagnoses from two different doctors.

Okay, how long was that then? Well, Hannah’s 16 now. So that was 13 years ago. That was certainly the case in Croydon at the time.

And before that, I kind of with Hannah, I thought right from day one, she was my fourth child. And from day one, I just felt there was something different. There was something wrong.

Didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know. I thought perhaps you couldn’t see or couldn’t hear because I wasn’t getting any feedback.

Okay, was she your youngest? She was. So she was the youngest of four. So I just felt something was different.

Right. But then we went on and she just progressed as any other baby. But when it was time to start speaking, Hannah would just babble.

Okay. And it appeared that she thought she was talking the same as the rest of us. And then one day, she hadn’t spoken a word.

Right. And my daughter was in the living room with her and she suddenly come running into the kitchen. And she said, mom, mom, I’ve got to show you something.

This is the most wonderful thing in the world. And I said, oh, what’s that? So she said, Hannah can talk. Oh, wow.

So I said, so she said, yeah, so she stood on the table and very proudly she put on what was a tape cassette or a DVD, you know, a CD player at the time. And it was the opening song from Beauty and the Beast. Oh, wow.

Disney has just gone. Yes. There’s so many parents that talk to me about Disney and the effect it has on their lives and their children.

And Hannah just she stood on the table. And from beginning to end of the song, she sang it all the way through. Wow.

And we were we were crying and I called my mom and I called my sister and I said, you’ve got to come over. Yeah. And Hannah did it again.

Okay. And by the end of the song, I was looking at them like, isn’t this wonderful? Yeah. And my mom and my sister were crying.

And I said, why are you crying? And they said, don’t you think it’s very strange that Hannah’s never said mom or dad, but she’s just sung a song from beginning to end. Okay. And I said, well, yeah, but what could what could it be? And that was the beginning of our journey.

All right, then. So you have four children. Yes.

And so Hannah’s diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Yes. Okay.

And you also have three grandchildren. I do. And they’re also on the autism spectrum.

So can you talk to me a little bit about that in your mind? I can. My grandson is the youngest of the three children. And his symptoms were like Hannah’s early symptoms, very typically autistic.

And so his diagnosis like Hannah, he got about three years old. My two granddaughters present more as what is now known as girls masking. And the family in our case, we knew something was there, but getting the help from my daughter with the two daughters has proved very, very difficult.

One is at senior school now, and one is starting senior school next year. Eventually, they both got a diagnosis, but still my daughter’s trying to get the right support in place. Yeah, I spoke to so many families where their children in primary school have coped just about, I would say, hanging on by the fingernails.

Yeah. But then once they moved to secondary school, because they’re moving from classroom to classroom, their organizational skills are quite poor. There’s, you know, secondary schools can be quite big.

So you’re talking about 1600 to 1800 pupils. If there’s more sensory problems that they have. And again, moving to classroom to classroom seems to be like a huge thing.

And then the homework. Yeah, there’s a lot of anxiety there. So and not every teacher will accept that the diagnosis is correct.

Because if a girl doesn’t present exactly like a boy does, as they imagine autism would be, some teachers just, you know, don’t want to accept it. And it can make life very difficult. I would like to see really more training for teachers than there is at the moment.

It needs to be consistent. So not just like, let’s do it for this week. And then, you know, let’s wait another year.

And we’ll give you another session of like half an hour. I’ve spoken to teachers where they haven’t had any training at all. They’ve been told, they’ve got quite a few children in their classroom.

There’s one lady that comes to my, well, we go to Zumba together. And she’s a teacher. And she said there’s 35 children in her class.

She’s got one support worker. And basically, she has children there who have autism, Asperger’s syndrome, dyslexia, dysbraxia, various different and also some of them might have a language barrier. And she said it can be quite stressful because the support’s not there.

She said sometimes it can be quite overwhelming as well. So she says, she has admitted to me that she’s gone into the resources cupboard sometimes. Like almost wanted to scream and then come back out again and just like, let’s carry on.

But yeah, it can be very difficult for teachers. And also they’re strangulated by the systems in place, the paperwork. Yeah, funding.

There’s just a lot of things to juggle for them. So being a grandparent is very important. Yes.

So what sort of support do you give to your children? Okay, I’m when I say I’m their primary sort of carer. If my daughters need childcare, I’m their only carer. And because I understand them and, you know, but my daughters actually, like most of us as carers, don’t actually like leaving them.

And, you know, the life revolves around them. And I found being a grandparent who’s been a parent myself. And I think I think it comes with a lot of advantages.

I understand. And I’m not critical of my daughters most of the time. Yeah, but there can be difficulties because I’ve walked the path myself and they don’t always do it the way I would do it.

Yeah, but then you can’t criticize or anything. It’s just, you know, that’s right. And like, I was talking about my daughter with two daughters.

And I felt very frustrated at times because I felt like if it were me, I would have been I would have got this through, you know, a lot quicker. Obviously, I might not have done. Yeah.

But it kind of it’s like a double edged sword, really. There is there’s a lot of people as well that I’ve noticed as well that like sit on the fence and then when the events happen, they’ll say, Oh, well, I would have done it this way. I would have done it that way.

And for me, personally, I don’t think there’s any right way. No, it’s just like all the children are so different from each other. Or some presents itself in so many different ways.

Obviously, a lot of them have overlapping conditions like dyslexia, dyscalculia, you know, OCD, mental health issues. So I don’t feel that there’s any one right way. You know your child.

That’s right. Just doing the best you can for your child. Yeah.

So we’re going to be talking a little bit more. And I’m going to be talking about my mother-in-law, who’s Patrick and Angelo’s grandma. She’s 88 years old and she’s amazing.

So after the break, we can talk a little bit more about, you know, parenting, grandparenting, and different ways that we’ve gone down different paths, if you like. So if you’re interested in sending me a message or you might like to look at our charity website, it’s www.anna Kennedy online.com. We’re on social media. And my Twitter feed is at Anna Kennedy, one and Instagram Anna Kennedy, OBE.

And on Facebook, we have our charity Facebook page, which is Anna Kennedy online. If you want to check out the Women’s Radio Station website, there’s lots of information on there, lots of various different speakers. So that’s www.womensradiostation.com. So again, I’m talking to Dawn Asifer.

We’ve been friends for quite some time. And it’s lovely to see you. It’s lovely to see you too.

And we’ll talk a little bit about how Hannah’s getting on as well. Okay. Yeah.

So I’d like to know, I think she must have been. She was about nine, 10 years old. She was.

Yeah. So yeah, we’re going to talk a little bit more about that. So again, we’ve got our charity expo.

If you’re interested in that, it’s www.akoautismcharityexport.com. So I’ll say that again, www.akoexpocharity.com. And that’s at Brunel University on March the 23rd. This is Anna Kennedy on Women’s Radio Station talking live All Things Autism. Welcome to Women’s Radio Station, the voice of women worldwide.

This is Women’s Radio Station. You’re listening to Agile Price with Kitchen Sink Spirituality. It’s Anna Kennedy talking All Things Autism.

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So Dawn is a grandchild. Sorry, Dawn is a grandchild. Dawn is a grandmother and we’ve been talking a little bit about the difference between being a mom and a grandparent.

So I spoke very briefly about my mother-in-law Coral and she’s 88 years old and she’s been supporting our charity for the last nine years now, I think it is, but also she loves her grandchildren dearly. She learned as much as she possibly could about autism and also that they’re unique and it doesn’t present them, you know, autism doesn’t present itself in the same way with every single child. They’ve all got their own individual strengths and some things might do quite well and some things they might need a little bit more support on.

They need as much love as possible and being respectful towards them. Angelo had quite limited vocabulary so trying to find out sometimes things that he might, you know, want you to do for him or things that you might want or things that you might find difficult. It’s a bit of a guessing game but you get to know your child.

Angelo likes to do repetitive activities and there’s a lot of children that like that and it’s a comfort thing. So what is Hannah doing now? So let me know what she’s doing because I’d really interested to know how she’s getting on because I haven’t seen her for such a long time. Hannah, when she went to senior school, she went into an autistic unit and I think you know what it’s like in a lot of schools, Hannah, but, you know, sort of lack of funding and, you know, you’re sort of struggling all the way through and to get your child’s needs met and to make sure that the EHCP is actually adhered to.

Yeah, I read it correctly. And it’s quite a struggle but Hannah actually, at the end of the day, through all the sort of trials and tribulations, she actually did incredibly well in her GCSEs. She did get the support.

She was lucky enough to be in a good school that gave her the support and so she passed enough GCSEs to access a mainstream college. Okay, did they give her the extra time as well? Because some people don’t know that they can get extra time. Yes, she got 25% more time.

Okay. She got a reader. Is that for each subject that she… Yes, she got… So a reader, what do you mean? A reader is someone that will stand next to them in an exam and they’re not allowed to sort of help them work out what it means but they can ask them to read it again.

So if they get a question that they’re sort of finding difficult to process, they can ask the reader to read it out for them. In a different way, maybe? Yes. Yeah, okay.

No, not in a different way. All right, okay. They can only repeat the question as it is.

Right. Some children get a scribe but Hannah’s writing was okay. Okay.

So she got the 25 minutes, she got a reader, a quiet room and breaks if necessary. But they don’t stop the clock for those breaks. Okay, so did you have to ask for that or was it offered to you for your job? I did ask for it because I sort of preempted it but I think the schools for their own benefit, they want the children to get as good of results as they can get.

I think they would have done it anyway but it’s interesting because since Hannah’s been at college, she had to retake her maths again because she’s got dyscalculia. And that’s been difficult since she’s been at college because she’s just been put into the class with all the other kids that didn’t pass their maths either. She’s got one-to-one on her EHCP but they didn’t do that because Hannah was coping very well in her specialised subject because it’s one of Hannah’s obsessions.

She’s doing music and she just wants to do it all the time. But I found it difficult because recently, the lady that’s organising the extra time in exams, she actually called me and she said, Mrs Asifah, Hannah’s missed two appointments to come and see us and I said, okay, I’ll have a word with her. I said, she’s got dyscalculia and it’s probably she’s not getting the timings right.

Not making excuses but I will make sure she comes tomorrow. So I said, could you just tell me out of interest what provisions you’re thinking of putting in for Hannah’s exams? And she said, well, Hannah’s a very bright young lady. I don’t think we’ll be given any more provisions.

And I said, you need to read Hannah’s EHCP. I said, what led you to that decision? And she said, I spoke to her music teacher. So what does she want to do in the music world? What’s she got? Anything that she thinks that she’s working towards? I think at the moment, Hannah, she writes her own music.

I think she would like to do that but that’s more as a hobby. Hannah, since she’s been doing the music production course, has really got into editing videos and film. Right, I know quite a few people that are from the charity that are also our patrons and ambassadors, they’re really into music, creative arts and media.

They really can excel themselves and they’re just in their comfort zone. Yeah, they come into their own. They do, they do.

So, right. So how about, can I just ask one other thing? I was just thinking, how did she transition from school into college? How was that? Oh, let me think. I’ve got to think now.

How does she transition? We looked at different levels of music. So we looked at level one, level two, level three. We knew that she had a pretty good chance.

Of accessing level one, but we sort of looked up to level three because we didn’t know what exams Hannah was going to get. Okay, was she anxious about waiting for the results of the exam? She was actually. Yeah, well everybody is, but I’m just thinking, did she ask every day or did she have a calendar? Did she mark it off when the… No, no.

Hannah tends to just sort of shut herself away and it was exceptionally, I don’t know if you meet many people like this, it was exceptionally difficult because we were praising Hannah and telling her no matter what results she got, it would be wonderful and she’s strong and brave and she’s done really well because Hannah’s got a sister, Robin, who’s a year older that academically is incredibly intelligent. And Hannah, despite the fact that we all say Hannah, she’s hard on herself. You’re wonderful and you’ve got your things that you’re good at.

She’s always compared herself and put a lot of pressure on herself. But it turned out okay, Hannah. So was she relieved? No, she was just disappointed.

She was disappointed she didn’t get her C in maths because, well not C, I think it’s a level three or four, whichever it is. And she was just one sort of mark short and it’s meant that she’s had to do that again this year. And the thing is, Anna, I could have, because of her dyscalculia, I could have, you know, I did ask if she could be exempt from maths if necessary, if it gave her too much anxiety and stress.

But Hannah chose to do it. So I’m really proud of her at the moment. I don’t think people realise some of the steps that our children make are huge.

And even like things like with Angelo, things that he might do and then you’ll tell someone. And if they’re not in the world that we’re in, they’ll think, well, doesn’t everybody do that? But for us it’s like huge and it’s a celebration. So the other thing was, was the school quite supportive for the transition into the college? Did they help her? How did they manage that? Because I’ve spoken to some parents where the skills haven’t been that good with the transition.

And then the students are set up to fill if you like. They were absolutely amazing. Every appointment that I had, someone from Hannah’s unit came with me.

Oh, that was good. Yeah, and they spoke to the special educational needs department, the teachers, and because Hannah, now Hannah presents, she really masks her autism. And I think some people, when they first meet her, find it difficult to believe that she has one-to-one in music, she has one-to-one in maths.

And I think they don’t understand why that would be. So having a teacher there, I would advise anyone to ask a teacher to go with them to explain the different things that your child’s going to need. Because sometimes, I think people think you’re a bit overprotective.

They do. What about friends? So obviously, she’s moved from school, she’s moved to college, it’s a lot bigger. It’s been great.

It’s been great, but Hannah got in quite a high level in maths. In music. So some of the students are 18, 19, and they’re lovely kids, but they’re going to the pub, and they’re going to events, and they’re organizing a holiday to go to Spain in the summer.

And Hannah’s like, you said when I was 16, I’d have my independence. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. One step at a time, you know.

I’m finding it quite difficult, actually, Hannah. So how are you dealing with it? Well, I’ll be totally honest with you. I’ve actually, I’m trying to get more advice again now, because everything was going so wonderfully for so long, and we had everything down to a fine art.

But now she’s reached 16, I’m fine with finding the transition harder than Hannah is. Okay. I have spoken to quite a few parents where their kids are sort of 16, 17 now.

They’re going out, they’re staying out all night, not coming back home until the next day, and the anxiety levels of the parents. And for them, it’s just like, what’s the problem? Yeah. And I just don’t know how I should be handling this, to be quite honest.

What about her sisters? Do they support her? They’re brilliant. Oh, that’s good. She’s very lucky to have very older sisters.

And is she quite good with them, like the mobile phone to keep you posted on what she’s doing or where she’s going? Because do you know what? The world now is quite a scary world, like all the news, isn’t it? It’s just like, I’m just thinking, oh my word, what’s going on? Well, Hannah went out on one evening to an event, and she actually had to use her emergency alert card, which she was most indignant that I’d popped in her bag. But she was very pleased it was there when things went a bit awry. Yeah, I think that’s the thing we’re always worrying about, no matter how old they are, we’re always worrying about our children, even the group to be adults.

So we’re at women’s radio station, talking all things autism. My guest today is Dawn Asifer, who’s a mom to Hannah, and also a grandparent to three grandchildren then on the autism spectrum. If you’d like to ask a question, you can message me at Anna Kennedy Online, and I can pass the message on to Dawn about, you know, if you might be a new grandparent and you find it a little bit difficult.

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Radio advertising is the most cost-effective way of reaching a huge audience globally. Moreover, our sponsorship and advertising packages can be tailored to your needs whether it be a product or brand service you’re looking to promote. If you are interested in sponsoring or advertising please contact me on 07 956 371 483 or alternatively zm at womensradiostation.com Hello, this is Anna Kennedy at Women’s Radio Station voice of women worldwide and we’re live.

I just wanted to share with you something that I shared on social media Heather Baston casting they are looking for a girl who’s autistic 15 to 18 years old. So to play a lead role in a new short film from a director called Rosie Westhoff. So what they’re looking for is 15 to 18 any ethnicity we would love a diverse mix of applicants Charlie possesses an incredible kindness independence loyalty and humour it’s important in the storyline that she doesn’t speak in the film but it’s important that the actress can communicate with the director and vice versa.

How she communicates is open Charlie likes to hum to muffle noises around her Rosie would like to work with a chosen girl on bringing her own traits to the film. So if you’re interested please contact casting at Heather Baston spelled B-A-S-T-E-N.com and the mobile number is 07380 994 997 I’ll just say that again 07380 994 997 Yesterday I was speaking at the college where Angela goes to and basically we were talking about Angela’s got body disconnectivity and it’s called body agnosia so for a parent whose child might be newly diagnosed or they might have never heard of it I just wanted to share with you how this manifests itself so basically it displays many of the characteristics of body disconnection so when Angela sat in the chair next to me his body is constantly rocking back and forth and he’s getting feedback from the pressure he also sways his body from side to side and he likes the pressure on his hands face and the trunk of his body he likes to connect with people in a kinesthetic way by touch pressure and close contact I believe this is a form of communication for my son and he seems very responsive to the way this is interacting but also please be aware with body agnosia so that our children may struggle with perceiving hunger thirst pain needing to go to the toilet etc so one thing that was noted by myself was how he eats and putting too much into his mouth which that’s something that Angelo does and over guzzling fluids and this may well need to not be not getting the feedback so that that would make sense why Angelo does this so that’s a it’s a big thing that we’re having to constantly monitor with my son Angelo throughout the years and now he’s 26 you know he’s I’m always having to monitoring him and wants to go in the kitchen you know he’s looking for food continuously if I’d let him have 12 yogurts he’d have 12 yogurts it’s just like he wants to eat them all so it’s constantly monitoring what he’s doing so you have a daughter that’s got health problems as well yes so how do you juggle health problems as well as autism and obviously all your girls at home are they moved out or how no no to a older and married to adults now okay so my daughter of course my daughter with health problems she’s like a lot of carers that we know and she’s very resilient and she finds it difficult sometimes because she can’t take the medication because she’s got two children on the spectrum she can’t take her medication because it makes her too tired right so sometimes she’s exhausted and once she’s taken the children to school she just goes home and she sleeps again and does she get any support? Apart from you she’s found it very difficult to access support because because her children don’t present as typically autistic it’s very difficult to get help she’s tried to get the disability team social services involved things like this and they you know they say she doesn’t meet the criteria she has physio come round she has occupational therapists things like this she’s got so she appealed a decision that she doesn’t meet the criteria the thing is at the moment Anna we I’ve been trying to help her even to get an EHCP for her daughter with behavioral problems it’s really not going to cope very well in a mainstream school we’re fighting that and where she’s got so many fights that she needs to be addressing and she’s not well so when you ask about help I think I was saying to you before she’s very independent and doing an amazing job yeah I think it’s more the toll it takes emotionally for me as a mom yeah and it must be hard for you watching her struggle and yeah and as a grand and as a grandmother too you know it’s it’s very difficult but we all know that you know some people just you know they have struck lucky and they get their needs met but there’s many of us that it takes many years to get everything into place yeah you’re also caring for your dad? I’m not caring for him as such okay and I’ve got a sister who I’ve got to give a lot of respect to she has a bit more time than I do and she cares for him sort of more than I do but you know it’s it still takes its toll it does you know my dad’s got Alzheimer’s now and it’s just that you know what a lot of care is you know we’ve got more than one thing going on and you’re being being pulled from pillar to pose I also have a mainstream daughter that’s at college and you know trying to get her needs met because there’s so much going on in the family she tends to you know be through necessity yeah I know what you’re saying you know almost like on a sideline but not intentionally she’s not on a sideline and she’s you know she fortunately she’s a really good girl when she sort of understands and I make time yeah did she not get the caring? well what happened was when Hannah got to about nine it was time for Robin to go to senior school and she was very sort of academically she was very lucky and I actually said to her Robin what would you think about a boarding school Monday to Friday because because of my caring she’d spent her life running around after me going to the next emergency you know that sounds a bit dramatic but at times on the worst day it’s like that Hannah and so I said to her what do you think and she said oh I’d love that mum and I said well let’s go and have a look it’s funny the decisions you have to make I know and it’s been right for Robin I wouldn’t say it would be right for everyone okay but Robin’s had the time of her life she’s been able to she was so she she just put herself last you know it’s okay mummy they need you more and and it was like I wanted her part of the reason I wanted her to go was to learn to be selfish and to think about herself yeah she was growing up faster than she should have been yeah okay yeah was that must have been like I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you it was heart-rending yeah it was heart-rending I didn’t let her see that yeah and actually you was asking you know she’s a little carer herself before then she was but you know Hannah was very dependent on her and you know she was like a little shadow and it made it difficult for Robin to bring friends home or to go out because Hannah would get upset it’s been right for us all as a family yeah because it’s meant that I’ve been able to concentrate on Hannah’s needs and then just make some special time for Robin at the weekend yeah so when you were a radio presenter for Cara’s radio what sort of things did you talk about so who did you speak to and oh lots of things I know I used to I used to sort of find out what all the weekly news was or monthly news in the caring world I used to sign signpost people to different organisations and charities and I would have oh I had MPs on the show I had carers they was always my favourite hearing the carer stories from different disabilities all different disabilities yeah and I would have different organisations different charities would come on sometimes someone with a disability would come on if they played the piano or read poetry and it was a lovely little show I loved it okay so that was based in Croydon yes so what’s Croydon like for supporting people with a disability? well I’ve got my own issues with Croydon council so you know it’s just my opinion yeah so what changes would you make if you could? so you had a magic wand I’d say here you go what changes would you make? I would ask the leaders of the local authority to stop fighting us as carers and fight the system you know at the end of the day everything is mostly down to money yeah finally and you just feel sometimes I feel humiliated I feel so humiliated what do you mean? I feel humiliated that I’m basically begging them you get to the point where you’re begging them to meet your child or grandchild’s needs yeah and the process can be quite long it can be long stressful it really can and it takes its toll not on just the person you’re caring for but on you as well most definitely we’re going to be talking about in the next half it just seems to have flown by this session what you do to relax because a lot of parents forget about what they do you know they’re a parent but they need to relax and they’re the linchpin to the family and so are the fathers and they need to relax because I know for like 10, 11 years I didn’t do anything I was the same you just focus in on your sons or your daughters and the system that you’re in and as I say it’s quite daunting you have to learn about everything it’s almost like you’re learning a different language so you’re just doing the best that you possibly can with the information that you’re given so that can be quite… yes so we’ve got another minute to go so I’m just going to tell you about the Autumn Reality experience again so that’s a fantastic project so it’s an innovative and immersive training experience designed to give participants an experience of a sensory overload we’ve taken it to Essex which I’ve spoken to you about before and one of our ambassadors has actually taken it into the school where he used to be as a child and it’s had quite a positive response so basically it’s quite an unique insight so a lot of parents have been through the experience we’ve had first responders go through the experience we’ve had professionals go through the experience and again we’re trying to spread the word about what it’s like to have a sensory overload we’re at women’s radio station talking all things autism and if you’re interested in asking any questions please contact me on www.annakennedyonline.com if you find in the system quite difficult to navigate we can help you or if there’s some legal questions that you might like to ask because it might have got to the tribunal stage again it’s www.annakennedyonline.com welcome to women’s radio station the voice of women worldwide this is women’s radio station you’re listening to Agile prize with kitchen sink spirituality it’s Anna Kennedy talking all things autism and my guest today is Karen Knoll welcome to future classical woman awards with me I listen to women’s radio station women’s radio station we want to hear from you women the possibilities are endless that’s what makes us different Hi I’m Sue Openshaw owner of Femme de Ciel the luxury ski chalet in Samoix in the Grand Massif, France we are open for skiing from mid-December to end of April and we’re only one hour from Geneva so perfect for short breaks or longer holidays single or multiple bookings contact us on femme de ciel.com or 077-33-100020 Hi my name is Julia Stirling I’m a figurative painter in oil and watercolour please visit my website juliesturland.com j-u-l-i-a-s-t-e-r-l-a-n-d or phone or text 07986-563-552 Hi I’m Valentina Barraci and I’m the executive director of Media Matters for Women we’re a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth and mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty we empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information to find out more and be part of this movement come check out our website at mediamattersforwomen.org Women’s radio station is a not-for-profit community interest company supporting women is our passion we’re currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive to donate simply head to our website every link will help Hi I’m Zina Masconi head of business development at Women’s radio station radio advertising is the most cost-effective way of reaching a huge audience globally moreover our sponsorship and advertising packages can be tailored to your needs whether it be a product or brand service you’re looking to promote if you are interested in sponsoring or advertising please contact me on 07 956 371 483 or turn to ZM at womensradiostation.com Hello this is Anna Kennedy at Women’s radio station voice of women worldwide and we’re talking all things autism so at the charity expo the speakers that we have just like to share some information because there might be a topic there that you might be interested in so we have Joanna Gibbs who’s the sensational tutors and she’s going to be talking about how to inspire a love of learning through fun and exciting interest-led games involving unicorns slime Lego and football we have Paul Goodwin who’s going to be talking about his journey on PDA which is pathological demand avoidance we’ve got Matty Street who’s one of my charity ambassadors but also a CEO at 22 years old of his own team Cartin who’s diagnosed with Asperger syndrome dyslexia and dyspraxia and actually employs over 60 people we’ve got Alexandra Bester who’s functional foods who’s one of the guests that we had previously who’s going to be talking about autism and nutrition Chris Bonnello an amazing gentleman who was a teacher he’s autistic and he has a fantastic Facebook page called autistic and weird so if you’re interested in reading some of the posts that he’s got on there sorry autistic and not weird excuse me and then the last one is one of our ambassadors is Sienna Castellon a young ambassador who is the founder of Quantum Leap peer mentoring for bright kids with autism spectrum decision sorry autism spectrum condition and learning differences I get asked sometimes my parents where their children have just been diagnosed do I need an occupational therapist what does an occupational therapist do um so occupational therapy helps people of all ages with physical mental or social disabilities to independently carry out everyday tasks or jobs with more independence and confidence an occupational therapist may develop an individualized treatment program and may introduce equipment that will aid the person that they are supporting in their activities interventions are reviewed periodically in order to evaluate its progress and make changes where needed occupational therapy also provides practical support to empower people to facilitate recovery and overcome barriers preventing them from completing the activities that matter to them occupational therapist was just such a special person that I had for Angelo I didn’t know that you could get special adapted spoons things to put on the pencils to make it easier for them to hold so did Hannah have any occupational therapy or speech and language therapy yes yes she said both all the way through really and I found in the earlier days it was like a magician had to come into my home you know they would show me how to you know Hannah and anything to do with Hannah’s head brushing her hair or brushing her teeth was such a trauma and they showed you sort of simple tricks like just putting a mirror in front of her so that she could see herself you know whereas but you know she couldn’t see if someone was brushing her hair and things that were quite simple you know they open my eyes she’s had it all the way through in college it’s still on her EHCP but Hannah’s choosing not to go okay so we’re gonna have to see where that takes us okay I remember Angelo when he used to look in the mirror he didn’t realize it was himself yeah and they used to do lots of different work with Angelo and then one day I always remember he looked in the mirror and he likes white he likes to wear white t-shirts white socks or something about white he had a white t-shirt on and he was looking in the mirror and then I heard him say me and it was just like those moments I know you can’t nothing like it is there I know it’s like winning the lottery or something so and you know a couple of times because Angelo has minimal band full of skills and one day I remember I was like passing the shoelace and he sort of tapped me on top of the head and he said keep up the good work I just thought where did that come from? but you know it’s those special moments that you know of parents that I’ve got I remember having friends with sort of mainstream children that were telling me that you know they were here ahead in writing reading and you know Hannah read the word cat at sort of eight years old and I was as happy as any parent whose child has just got their degree from you know the top university it’s yeah I remember one thing as well Angelo used to like to play with magnetic letters he loved making lots of words that’s always been his thing word making and I remember when he started he was in the nursery and it was a mainstream nursery because he didn’t have a placement to go through so I just had to take him to this nursery place and I had to sit with him yeah and one of the play workers went up to him and said Angelo spelled cop and had a picture of the cop and the word cop and she walked off and then when she came back he’d spelt communication oh my god she just sort of looked at me and so did I and I just thought oh he’s probably thinking cop what’s that all about? so if you had to go back and think trying to do things differently would you have done anything differently? What would I have done? I feel confident I’m quite proud of myself that I’ve tried everything I can to get things put into place for Hannah you know what, Hannah? Yeah I’ve had my moment of I got Hannah to go to you know I had a choice as specialist on mainstream school and I just felt that if it was at all possible I had to give Hannah that chance of going to mainstream I’ve had my moment when in senior school she couldn’t make a friend at one time and you know things went wrong that I’m not going to lie I had my moment when I thought it would have been so much easier for her if she’d gone to a special school but at the end of the day I think all of us think this we’re not going to be here forever and you know I can’t regret the route we took it’s been difficult for Hannah at times It’s been a big learning curve and we’ve had no one’s actually sat down with us and said this is going to be the best route for your daughter this is going to be the best route for your son and as you know Patrick and Angela so different from each other I know my two sons and I didn’t have if you’re like a milestone it’s just like I did the best that I possibly could that’s how I feel and you’re personally you’re shattered you know lack of sleep trying to keep a job trying to look after your children trying to navigate the system you just do the best that you possibly can yeah so no regrets as such but I’ve had moments of thinking have I done this wrong but I think that’ll be forever really yeah so if you are a grandparent listening yeah and your grandchild’s just been diagnosed with an autism spectrum condition yeah is there any advice that you would give to them and obviously because you’ve been through it through times now listen to your child let them lead you how you can support them you know I ask my children how can I support you yeah I was saying to you earlier I’m not perfect Anna I get it wrong sometimes but as perfect as a rule yeah I listen and I ask them what can I do and I’m fortunate enough to know that the some of the more extreme behaviour isn’t the child being naughty and it’s like you were saying earlier read about it find out about it and you know because for the for some people over a certain age it’s really difficult for them to understand well it’s definitely because you get oh he’s naughty yeah you know you’re just letting him run rings around you I’ve heard that so many times from parents that contact me yeah you know we’ve heard it all you know if not from family members we’ve heard it from people that we know and it’s just find out as much as you can that most definitely it’s just like you need to do lots of research yeah and listen and there’s no really one right road is there no there isn’t it’s just what you feel is going to be best yeah for your son or for your daughter yeah so Anna now so her plan she’s at college yeah and how long she’s there for and she’s there this is her first year and then she’s there next year too okay is she thinking ahead or she would like to go to university that’s why she decided despite the fact that she could have been exempt to try again for her maths okay I don’t know whether she’ll recently I had one of the SCN team at her maths at her college said to me you know you might need to prepare Hannah for the fact that she might never pass maths and my answer to that was that that will be fine and that will be in place but please adhere to her EHCP first if the correct I’m not greedy Anna like none of us are we’re just trying to put the right things in place for our children if you put the right things into place and she doesn’t pass I accept that and we will deal with that but you know Hannah would like to pass her maths to enable her to go to uni okay so this week is Valentine’s day week haven’t had one of them for many years and what I’m going to ask you is how do you feel about Hannah Deaton? Has she got has she had any boyfriends yet? No she hasn’t actually or girlfriends as long as I as long as I could have a saying she was going to say no honestly I would be okay about that yeah I think Hannah she thinks she’d tell you oh I definitely think she’d tell me I think she’s a bit of a feminist like her mum actually so I don’t think she’d let anyone’s mistreat her touch wood one of our young ladies from the charity she actually went on The Undateables she was on there was it last week or the week before I thought she did a great job and I knew the person that she was basically going to be dating yeah and I just thought was so lovely I hadn’t seen The Undateables for a long long time because I know it’s a bit like more might you either like it or you don’t like it and a lot of people don’t like the title The Undateables I like the program I don’t like the title well it’s just like got so many touching moments there especially when I saw the couple when he asked her to get married and it was that was just so lovely so yeah The Undateables yeah so I’m yet to sort of go down that route with my oldest son so but I’m sure we’ll get there eventually so I’d like to wish everyone a happy Valentine’s Day and share the love there’s a lot of negativity around at the minute that I’m feeling and people that are angry especially on social media that I’ve noticed so yeah what in just regards to everything to everything yeah I think you’re right it’s just like even in use is like all doom and gloom and it’s just like you know what’s wrong with like being kind being kind to everyone it’s free you know the life is stressful enough as it is so we’re at Women’s Radio Station thank you Dawn my guest next week is Sienna Castellone who’s one of our 16 year old ambassadors amazing young woman and she’s going to be talking about so many projects already that she’s been doing at age 16 so we’re at Women’s Radio Station and we’re talking all things autism voice of women’s worldwide and again if you want to contact us and ask us a question at the charity website it’s www.annakennedyonline.com thank you very much Dawn and I wish you all the best and say hello to Hannah from me thank you Hannah thank you very much bye bye now Women’s Radio Station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion connecting women around the world in a global network is all about diversity from opinions career ethnicity education we aim to show the individuality of every woman everywhere providing opportunities and a platform for your voice women the possibilities are endless that’s what makes us different Hi I’m Liz Van Linden the UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel people come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service this happens from the moment that they inquire till they come back home I work with luxury tour operators you can contact me on 07825-44-1212 and Liz spelled L-I-S at hazelmeretravel.co.uk I’m Tamina Zaman founder of Empower and Enrich when it comes to money do you clam up or get confused? 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