Hi, this is Anna Kennedy, and I'm at women's radio station Voice of Women Worldwide, and we're talking all things autism. So welcome back everyone, and I've been a busy bee as usual. I just talked to you a little bit about what I've been doing, and then I have a special guest called Heidi Carage, who I've known for about three years now, and she's going to be talking about her son Callum. So I went to the NHS Merseyside and Liverpool College. If you remember Victoria Reynolds was talking about doing a new pilot project where autistic students were actually thinking about going to university, but a lot of them found it quite difficult to find out information. So what we did was we had a specific event for 16 to 18 year olds and six universities actually came from Merseyside. And you know what? It was a fantastic event. There was 130 students that actually attended, parents, teachers, individuals just interested in what we were doing. And a lot of parents actually shared on social media. They found it really, really useful, and so did autistic students. And it's given them some ideas of what they might like to go to, which university, and also what they might like to study. So that was fantastic. And we'll be doing something else in April next year, so we'll keep keeping you posted. Something I'm really excited about. There is a show called This Is My Song, and this was on just recently. And I knew about this at the beginning of the year because they approached me and asked me, could I put forward four of our Autism's Got Talent performers, which I did. And they were really impressed with all four. They actually chose two of the performers to sing a song in the studio. And Jasmine was on Thursday. She was amazing. It was just like it's gone everywhere all over social media. I was so proud of her. She sang beautifully. I felt like my heart was going out my chest. And the second Autism's Got Talent performer at the beginning of last year, he just felt like it wasn't the right time for him. He got too anxious. He had a few mental health issues going on. So I said, it's not the right time for you. I said, if this pilot show goes well, which I can see it just so is, they said that there will be contact to me again for more Autism's Got Talent performers to be put forward, which is brilliant. And the last thing, my son Patrick yesterday, I was so proud of him. He's been working at Pinewood Studios for the last six months, and they asked him to do a reading for a Christmas carol service in the ballroom at Pinewood Studios. He was quite nervous. He had half a side of him before he went up to do the reading, but he smashed it. He was it was just so good. I was really proud of him. He's just come on so far in these last six months since he's been working at Pinewood. So I'd like to thank Pinewood and keep it going, Patrick. So my guest today is Heidi Carage. Hello, Heidi. Hello. Are you OK? I'm fine. Thank you. Yeah. So we're going to be talking a little bit about Callum. So Callum is one of our past and current Autism's Got Talent performers. So when did you find out that Callum was on the autism spectrum? Tell me a little bit about the background. Well, Callum was officially diagnosed when he was seven and a half. But to get to that point was sort of very up and down. He was adopted from Russia. OK. So he spent the first part of his life in a Russian institution. Right. So when he came home, we could see very early on that there was differences between him and other children. OK. Obsessional behaviours wouldn't accept comfort, sort of the eye contact. There was a lot of things that showed up. And he was referred by health visitors and paediatricians right as young as two, three. But the problem was, is because of his history, it kept being told, oh, it's just because he was institutionalised. So it's just behaviours linked to him with that. Did he say quite quickly with you at home? How was that? He settled. I always said he settled very well. When I look back on pictures, I can see a very frightened little boy because I didn't know him as such. I think we just saw a little boy that didn't particularly cry, that wasn't, you know, that seemed to settle well. But looking back, I don't think he probably settled as well as what we initially thought. I think it was a little bit of trust as well, because obviously he'd been let down in the past. Yeah. And he'd probably had about 50 carers by the time he was a year. Oh, my word. So he wasn't used to having someone there for him, any comfort. Yeah, he self-soothed. So it was very hard to sort of differentiate between what was institutionalised behaviours. Yeah. So how long would you say it took before you felt you had Callum and he was your little boy and he was settled? I would say a couple of years. OK. I would say even that was probably when I sort of felt like, yep, he was totally ours. And, you know, we were sort of living life as a family. OK. Even though he attached and we loved him from the word go. OK. It just takes that time. And especially when there are behaviours and that in there and you're sort of day to day struggling with, you know, what about the language barrier was it? Yes, he only understood Russian when he came home. OK. So we did learn some Russian to communicate with him. Yeah. He obviously couldn't speak, but he had to relearn understanding a whole language before he could even then start to speak. So but we did learn some Russian words and he knows them still now. OK. So he's got a diagnosis. He's 11 years old at the moment. Yeah. And he's got a diagnosis of autism, ADHD, anxiety issues and OCD. That's a lot for an 11 year old to deal with. It is a lot for an 11 year old to deal with. Yes. So how how how you know when he started school, how was that? It must have been quite difficult. Very hard. The first years of school were very difficult. OK. He was labelled as the naughty boy. So what support was put in place for him? Nothing at the time. Absolutely nothing when he started school and he had no diagnosis of anything. OK. So I was the parent called up every day. Oh, he's done this. He's done that. He's thrown his PE kit across the room. He won't put it on. And he used to come home and say, but it was cold. It was wet. Yeah. And eventually when we learned he was autistic, we realized it was in a cold colloquium. OK. So it felt wet to him because it was cold. And he obviously had a lot of sensory issues. But at the time, they just thought he was being naughty. He was throwing things, you know. So there were parents going into school. Please don't let my child sit near Callum. And I remember one parent coming out and the little boy saying, oh, that's the naughty boy over there. And Callum heard. And he said, I'm not naughty. You know, we kept saying, no, you're not naughty, Callum. And we knew that there was something more. We knew this wasn't just. So what the teacher's not a teacher. The teachers, I mean, he had a teacher change in his very first year, which didn't help. No. And it was a brand new teacher that then took over. She actually really was trying to be very supportive. She sort of really listened. But I think because he had no diagnosis, they didn't really know what to do and how to sort of help. They did little things like a little table. He could sit up with sensory things when everyone else was on the carpet. OK, so they did really try. But it was the end of that year. He got diagnosed with severe ADHD first. OK. And then it sort of explained more what was going on. So he has a sister now, which again, you've adopted. So how how did that happen? Well, we left it quite a long time before going through another adoption journey. But Callum desperately did want a brother or sister. OK. And we were a bit worried how we would cope. Yeah. And it was a three year or two and a half year adoption process. OK. We were approved and turned down for quite a few children due to Callum being autistic. Yeah. Children's social workers tended to want to go for families that didn't have a special needs child. OK. So it was quite a long fight. And then we were told about our little girl. Yeah. And read her profile, saw her picture, and we just knew 100 percent. She's meant to be our little girl. OK. It was then a good few months waiting to meet her and go through a matching panel. And right. You know, we then told Callum he knew we were going through the process, but he didn't know about her until we'd actually been chosen. Yeah, I suppose because then, you know, it needs to be concrete. Yes. Yeah. And then we did a lot of work with him around her coming home and included him a lot of transition week when we met her. We wanted him really included in it, but they absolutely adore each other. Oh, lovely. Well, I have seen them together. He is amazing with her and Callum is her favorite person in the world. Yeah. And you were saying that she even prompts him to put his shoes on. She goes, if I'm telling him to do instructions and he's all over the place because he struggles, obviously, to follow instructions. Yeah. She will go and get his shoes for him. Yeah. I said, can I put your shoes on, please? And, you know, she sort of becomes an actual mummy for him. She sort of mothers him. That's lovely. So dancing is a bit of a oh, how can I say? Get out for Callum to get into a world that he feels comfortable with and it's something he's really good at. So how did he start dancing? He was always just flipping everywhere. And we just tried to find something for him just to burn off a bit of energy initially. And he was about five or six. And we just found a little tiny street dance class. OK. And it was just a half an hour class. And I wasn't sure how he would do because obviously having special needs. And I did talk to them and he absolutely loved it. He just couldn't wait to go every week. And I'd never really seen him dance until I saw his first ever little performance. I mean, he was only six, I think. And it was just a little thing they did in the room. And I'm ever sitting there watching and thinking, actually, he's really good. You know, we'd only done it just so he could burn off some energy. And suddenly that was all he wanted to do. Good. Music was on at home. Yeah, he wanted to dance. And then he started going to another class. Right. Yeah, and that was how it goes. And then he just literally, constantly from the moment he gets up, music's on. So almost he goes to bed. Well, I love dance. I totally get how he feels. So it was like a bit of an escapism for me. Yeah, he goes into his own world. Yeah. And you can see he really enjoys it. Yeah. So obviously, I met Callum through Autumn's Got Talent, which was in 2015. So he sent in his audition. And I remember the team were looking and said, oh, yeah, we've got to have this little boy, he's too cute and he's really good at what he does. So he came along to Autumn's Got Talent. So do you want to talk a little bit about that experience? Yeah. Well, when we got the call that he'd been chosen, he was so excited. I mean, he was a bit apprehensive because he'd never danced on big stages or, you know. But we went along that day and I was kind of thinking, how is he going to cope all day at a theatre? Yeah, because he is very hyper and overstimulated. But going there that day, I mean, you had sensory rooms where they could go to chill out rooms. We had someone allocated to us that, you know, was getting us drinks or just there if we had any issues and problems. So suddenly, what would have been a stressful situation was made so much lovely and it was actually an amazing day. Callum met other young people on the autistic spectrum and built up, obviously, lifelong friendships. And in fact, one of his best friends who he met that year was nine years older than him. Yeah, Bradley. Yeah, him and Bradley keep in contact now. Yeah, they have a good relationship. I've seen them together and they just you can see they've got this bond. And Bradley is such a lovely young man and got a fantastic voice. Absolutely amazing voice. Yeah, we've just we've just tapped into so many families but talented autistic children and adults. So that's what Autumn's Got Talent is about, which we're going to talk a little bit more about in the second half. So if you're a parent who has a child or you might think they might be autistic and you want a little bit of advice or you just want to chat to someone, if you check out Anna Kennedy Online, it's www.anakenedionline.com. You can find us on social media as well. I'm on Twitter, which is at Anna Kennedy One. I'm always on Twitter and social media. Our Facebook page is Anna Kennedy Online and Instagram haven't been on there that long, but that's Anna Kennedy OBE. So if you're interested in chatting or you might want to do some fundraising for the charity to help us to create more opportunities, please check us out on www.anakenedionline.com or call the number 018 95 5 4 0 1 8 7. Welcome to Women's Radio Station, the voice of women worldwide. This is Women's Radio Station. We are listening to Agri Prize with kitchen sink spirituality. It's Anna Kennedy talking all things autism. And my guest today is Karen Knight. Welcome to Future Classical Women Awards. With me, Stefania Passamante on Women's Radio Station. Women's Radio Station. We want to hear from you. I listen to Women's Radio Station. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, a UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. 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Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntotus.org.uk. Let me tell you about German Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End, once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germinestreettheatre.co.uk. Women's radio station is a not-for-profit community interest company. Supporting women is our passion. We're currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive. To donate, simply head to our website. Every little help. Hello, this is Anna Kennedy at Women's Radio Station, voice of Women Worldwide, talking all things autism. My guest today is Heidi, and Heidi's been talking about her lovely son, Callum, and dancing, which is obviously one of my favourite topics. So we've been talking about Autism's Got Talent. And by the way, if you're interested in entering Autism's Got Talent, the closing date for next year is December the 31st. So put that in your diary December the 31st. So if you're a singer, if you're a dancer, if you're a comedian, if you're a magician, if you're in a band, whatever it is that you do and you're autistic, whether you're a child or an adult, show us your talent. And it's www. Just in case you forget, at anakennedyonline.com. The application form is on there and send us in your YouTube link. It's not a competition. It's a showcase of talent. I didn't want it to be a competition because I didn't want to add to the anxiety. And since a lot of the children and adults have been performing, it's created so many opportunities, a springboard onto other things which you're going to be talking to Heidi about. So Callum received a scholarship through Pineapple. And what happened was I've been working with Pineapple Performing Arts in Covent Garden for the last eight years. And I said to Maggie, is there any chance that we could have some scholarships? Because I think some of our children and adults will thrive singing, dancing, learning about performing arts. And she said, yes, so we've been doing it for about five years now. So we've got eight scholarship winners. We did have nine, but one of the chaps just found it was a little bit too much with school work and everything during the week. It's just got to be the right fit. So Callum is one of the scholarship winners. And usually you're only supposed to get a year, but not me. I said to Maggie, oh, go on, give us another year. And she's been fantastic. So how's it been going? Absolutely amazing. It has been life changing. I mean, obviously performing at Autism has got talent being on that stage. Just performing to the crowd suddenly gave him such a buzz. He was so comfortable. It gave him so much more confidence. And since then, his confidence in dance has just risen. And then when we heard about the scholarships, Callum made a video at home. He danced and he talked about why he would love a scholarship at Pineapple. And we sent it in and then we had an email through saying Callum was selected. And I think he was jumping around his front room, absolutely going crazy. And he's on his third year scholarship there now. He now just does three hours of dance there on a Sunday. So he is in his absolute element. Yeah, because you can actually choose if you find it difficult to do singing, dancing and acting once you've had a taster and then you think, right, where is this going to fit for me? And if not, then obviously Callum now does three hours of dance. Yeah. So he goes on a Sunday, doesn't he? Yeah, he goes on a Sunday, two to five. And I mean, even now he can still choose what he wants to do, but he will literally do dance. And it's been amazing because they're so inclusive. Yeah, he goes there on a Sunday. He doesn't feel different. People accept him for who he is. And he's a good dancer. He's a good dancer. They all love watching him because he does all his flips and tricks and spins on his head and does all that. All the other kids sort of, like he's saying, come do a backflip or do a head spin or whatever. So he often gets little breakdance solos in their routines and stuff, which he loves. And where's he been dancing? Pardon? Where has he been dancing with pineapple? Oh, he's done the Apple Store, the opening of the Apple Store. He's performing at the Strand tonight at a charity event. He's performed at all different the Albert Hall. Yeah, he performed with them last year. Yeah, he's just had so many opportunities through being with them. Yeah. And different things he's done. It's been absolutely unbelievable. He's done a few road shows for us as well. And then he's been in the Pineapple Group for the Autumn Hero Awards when we did the opening number. Yes, he performed with that. And then what we do at Autumn's Got Talent, all the scholarship winners do a performance to show how they've progressed from year to year. So next year, obviously be doing another number with the Pineapple Performing Arts Group, which is great. So, yeah, they've come on so much our scholarships. I can just see them like Aston, Macaulay, you know, Dylan. They're amazing. And they all have a very special bond as well. They do. They watch out for each other at Pineapple. Yeah, it's really lovely. The old ones come over and check Callum's alright. It's just really lovely. Brilliant. So something that's not so positive is Callum's education at the moment. So he's been at home since July. Yes. Do you want to talk a little bit? I know you're going through a tribunal. Yeah. So if you can talk a little bit without compromising, you know, with what's happening. Well, Callum finished mainstream in July. Yeah. We knew he would need a specialist secondary school that he wouldn't cope in mainstream. OK. We did a lot of looking around. We found a couple of schools that were perfect for him. One has offered him a space. He did a week's trial on that there and absolutely loved it. So happy. Yeah. Our local authority have placed him in a different ASD school, which is much more for behavioural issues. Something Callum actually hasn't had at school. He's not been excluded and things like that. So we obviously are not going to send him there because we know it would just affect Callum too badly. So at the moment, we're going for a tribunal. Because. So how stressful is it? Because for those listeners who maybe haven't got a child who was on the autism spectrum, who haven't been through the special educational need system. So a tribunal, what does that consist of? What have you been doing? Mounties of paperwork, contacting people, emails, but also dealing with Callum and his stress and anxiety because he's out of routine, he's out of structure. He doesn't understand why he can't just go to the school that he's desperate to go to. So as well as battling the local authority and going through constant stress and headaches and trying to get reports and trying to get all the evidence you need. You've also dealing with a child at home 24-7 who's now not socialising, other than when he goes to dance. Not got a structural routine as much as you can try and keep one at home. And I've got a three year old as well. It's difficult. So all they've offered is like some home tutor. So what's happening there? Well, finally, they've sent a home tutor three times a week for now and a half. An hour and a half each day? Each day, Monday, Tuesdays, Wednesdays. Yeah, they said it was that all we had to send him to the school we don't want. Right. Up until the tribunal. But we said he's not going there in Dov. I can't do that. Yeah. So she comes three days a week, just for an hour and a half. How's she getting on with Callum? She's actually very good. He was very reluctant at the beginning. Yeah. Trust thing, I suppose. Very real trust thing. And because he's so upset about what's going on, he thought she was one of the people making the decisions. So we had to reassure him, no, she isn't. She's just there to help him while this is going on. She's been very good. She's really listened to us. And now she's really learning when his anxieties are up, noticing all the signs, trying to keep things very active for him. And even when he's stressed out and doesn't want to write, she's then said, oh, I've scribed for him today because I could see his anxieties were getting too much. So how long have you got her for? Well, initially, this company only normally do about six weeks because it's normally for children who are out of school, say for illness or maybe a broken leg or something like that. So they were a bit surprised that it was going on. But obviously he will have her until the end of January when the appeal date is. Oh, yeah. So fingers crossed then for you. So hopefully you'll get the skill that he wants to go to. Well, I hope so. Because that's hard work as well. You know, as much as you love your son, it's hard work to have a child that's got special educational needs at home unless you've made the decision to home due to them when they obviously that's a different kettle of fish. Yeah. OK, so Callum has been bullied and I saw an anti-bullying video that he created himself, which I was very impressed with on social media. And it's had quite a few thousand likes. So so why why what's been happening with that? He heard it was anti-bullying week. We were obviously doing our anti-bullying campaign with you. Yeah. And he was doing his picture and he asked. We talked about why we were he was taking his picture with the sign and that. And then the sign just for people to give us a break campaign. And that started a few years ago because of children and adults that had been bullied. So I've always kept to the same strap line, give us a break because people identify with it. So we've had so many people that have had photographs taken with the give us a break poster with various different messages. So and they give their own message as well. So that's what Callum was doing. And he'd made a video a few months back about being autistic and how it felt. So he'd done one before which had gone quite viral over them. And he just said to me one day, mum, can you just keep my little sister in the front room? I'm doing something. And I just thought he was dancing in the back room. I could hear him banging around. Yeah. So I just thought he wants her out of the way because he puts his music on in there and he's dancing. And then it was in there for quite a while. And then he came in with his phone and just said, oh, I've done this. OK. And I just sort of said, oh, what is it? So I sort of sat down and watched and he'd actually talked about that it was anti-bullying week. And I remember lying on the floor looking at the screen doing it. As if he was talking to a friend or something. Yeah, he struggles to talk to people and explain how he feels. And I think talking to a phone was a lot easier. There's no eye contact. There's no having to look at somebody. And I think it was a way for him to explain how he felt without anyone being there to watch. And he talked about what it was like being bullied at school. And then he sort of sent a message out saying, look, if you're being bullied, please tell somebody and don't be afraid of who you are. And, you know, being different, you know, even though it's hard, can also be good. Yeah, that's a great message as well. So if you feel someone's listening as a child or an adult, if you are being bullied, please tell someone, don't suffer in silence. There's so many groups and organizations that you can contact. And if you feel that you don't know which one to go to, you could come to Anakenzie Online and we could point you in the right direction. Speak to somebody. Don't keep it in because it's not going to do you any good in the long run. It's just going to build up your anxiety, build up your stress. It can cause depression. So it's just so many different avenues that you can go down to get support. And I think this was just his way of wanting to try and help other children to sort of say, if something is happening, you know, please. And and also to show them who maybe feel different. And that's why they're bullied. And he was, you know, just trying to give his message across. It's OK to be different. Yeah. He always says ADHD and autism won't stop me. That's kind of his motto. Yeah. And it sort of reduced me to tears. I will say when I when I was good, he can express himself because a lot of children find that difficult. They don't know how to express yourself. So by him talking to the video, he feels comfortable doing it that way. Yeah. And it's good for him. And then also hopefully it'll help somebody else. Yeah. And then he obviously danced at the end. He sort of wanted to show sort of a bit of what he likes to do that makes him feel happy because when he dances, it's a good stress plus as well dance because I feel so much better when I've done like a session on a Thursday evening, whether it's Zumba, whether it's tap dancing, whatever it is. So if you feel you need an outlet, I think everyone should learn how to dance because it's such a real good factor. So if you're interested again in finding out what the charity does, it's Anna Kennedy online just to remind you www.annakennedyonline.com. And I just wanted to mention the autism reality experience. Please check that out. We're taking it all across Essex with Aston Avery, our ambassador. So that's the autism reality experience. If you check out on our website, we're in collaboration with them. And again, we're looking for more talented individuals. So come and show us your talent and it's all information. The application form is on our website. We've got the expo coming up on March the 23rd. So if you're looking for some advice, whether it be speech and language, legal advice, please check out the website. We're selling tickets at £10 each www.autismexpo.co.uk. So thank you, Women's Radio Station, Voice of Women Worldwide. It's Anna Kennedy talking all things autism. Women's Radio Station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion. Connecting women around the world in a global network is all about diversity from the opinions, career, ethnicity, education. We aim to show the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and a platform for your voice. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. 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Our service include community mediation for neighbor disputes, family mediation for separating couples, special education needs for parents, carers and their children and young adults, as well as workplace mediation and restorative services. To find out more, head to womensradiostation.com or theapodject.co.uk. Let me tell you about German Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End, once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germondstreettheatre.co.uk. Women's Radio Station is a not-for-profit community interest company supporting women is our passion. We're currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive. To donate, simply head to our website. 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