Free Your Mind – Judy Hartman, Is She Breathing

Hello and welcome to this week's Free Your Mind, Let's Talk About It with LKJ at www.womensradiostation.com, the radio station which is multi-award-winning because it believes in mental health. It helps mental health. Today I ask all the listeners to please grab a tissue, sit yourself down and relax because this is a trigger alert show. And I repeat, a trigger alert show. For anybody at home that has lost a child, this can cause a trauma. So I need you to prepare and sit down. And during this show, we will allow time I want you to breathe, and we'll do some exercises, because as everybody knows in the world and my show, yes, I lost my child. So when I connect with somebody that's not— it's incredible because we've walked in that adversity together. Although our grief is different, everyone's grief is different, we still have this I, as the listeners know, am the Chief Ambassador for the Sean Fair Leadership Experience Tour, which we are bridging the gap between the USA and the UK, allowing that bridge where it becomes a unifying place where no matter mental health, disabilities, race, colour, diversity, equality will allow us to dance with inclusion under a sky where we can all meet and can voice and use our voice to gain help or maybe to encourage. So whilst I was in Michigan, in October. I was greeted, I was sitting in the show auditorium having a look, getting ready, mindset, seeing people coming in, people doing stuff as the lighting guys, and the team involved said, "Lady Kay, how are you?" I'm flying, flying across the UK, sitting there contemplating what stories are going to come out today. Incredible international speakers that when you get on this stage These people that go on this stage do empower, they do engage, they are professional people with their own platforms. They've created those platforms for one reason, because that's their dream that they've taken from the pillow to reality. And many voices in that, in any platforms, whether you become a life transformational coach, you're a grief counsellor, whether you are selling blockchains and why, that stage is open to everyone, whether you're disabled, non-verbal, deaf, no matter what, we have everything there because your voice counts, you are enough. And we have to look through life at the lessons. Do we know what that lesson was? Why did that lesson come? When we lose a child, because it's our belief that we go after, you know, they— sorry, my apologies on that. As you know, when I said like a trigger alert, sometimes it can just shoot into your brain and just throw you. So again, I've just had a trigger alert there because I'm getting to touch on a subject now which is doing it. So I'm just clearing and freeing my mind. Bringing this wonderful guest in. Whilst I was in that auditorium, a young lady, beautiful, came and said, "Hello, Lady Kendall-Jagger, my name is Judy Hartman. I spoke on the tour previously." And I said, "Oh, what a pleasure, welcome, can't wait." She said, "I'm here just to support." And she told me her story, which is going to be shared on this radio station, actually, with these thousands and thousands of listeners, about her story, about how she built her brand. And we're going to touch on that too. But the message here is about God has now got an angel. Her name's called Amanda. Amanda died of meningitis aged 16. She gave 16 years of her love, commitment to her family, her legacy as a teenager bouncing around with so much energy, light, love, affection— died. And we will explain through the voice of her mother how. I'm going to start with this thing as I I say one of the things that she cried out was, "Is she breathing?" Yeah, "Is she breathing?" And as all my skin begins to shiver now and all my hairs on my arms, is it that voice? "Is she breathing?" So on that note, when we talk about breathing, so I can bring my own Body shakes because I feel energy. I feel that I am a spiritualist coming through. Whether some believe it or don't, I do. So my connection with this is I've just opened up that channel to bring this wonderful lady in. As I ask you to just gently, before we start to follow this exercise, I want you to spell the word breathe in your mind. B. R. E. A. T. H. E. Close your eyes. Relax. And I want you just at the moment just to spell that through. So we're going to bring you down, we're going to bring your heart rate down, and it's to relax, and that short little meditation before we come in to this Trigger Alert Show. So on the count of 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, begin the exercise. Okay, so we're all ready, we're calm, we're ready, and Our show today is going to challenge us, it's going to test our mindset, but with this lady's voice, whose platform through that she will make you stand again in the power in any form of grief or loss from her perspective, through her methods and her counseling. Judy will give you her counseling, um, but Judy also is my own personal ambassador. She's the ambassador to LKJ. In that strength, always know under my voice, if you can't get to me to hear that, Judy will be there for you. She does, um, some free grief lessons. She does speaking in Sajid, and she also can work with you with a structured program. But let's hear her story. Let's hear about Amanda and let Judy explain who she is. Hello, Judy, and welcome to Free Your Mind. Let's Talk About It with LKJ. Hello, Miss Lady K, can you hear me? I can hear you, yes. How are you? Christmas running busy, everything like that, because as one of the speakers that we had on L.E.T. was like, Positivitee. So today I sit in her shoes and I am Tiff, I am Positivitee, as we come through here and bringing ourselves up to here You all show your message through that very well. We need— we've had a wonderful Christmas, New Year, so it's amazing to, you know, have your voice as we've come through these struggles. And I hope and pray that, you know, with some of the domestic abuse or anything that's happened, the credit card scam, that we work now in January to deal with those. With the coughs, the colds, you know, people may have lost loved ones over Christmas or not. Is hearing your story is in a new year, how we cope, how do we start the new year, how do we start this month of January with empowering to learn to stand again. So can you explain first of all what your brand is called? What do you, the name, is it, I'm sure it is, You Do Not Allow Excuses to Eliminate Your Challenge? I do have my platform is actually Eliminate Excuses. Oh yes, okay, got it. But I think because I use that phrase as well when we speak together, so my apologies. Because I think when I was on stage speaking about Amanda's 'Do not allow your excuses to eliminate your challenge,' you know, the excuses or your challenge in that. So as you will see, as the guests will see, we're very closely connected. So sometimes we may have been pulling something out, okay, but at least we've got you relaxed and going. So So welcome to the show, it's all yours, let's go. Okay, so Miss Lady K, first and foremost, I want to thank you. And you know, you said that we have that connection, and yes, we do. We belong to that club that none of us like to belong to, and that is the club of losing a child. And for others, it's also the club of losing a loved one, not just a child. It's just that, let me share with you, I had lost both of my parents. And it's very hard when we lose someone, but when it was my parents, it's more expected. So that's where I touch base on the loss of a child. You see, that was unexpected, so it took me down a harder road with not expecting that to happen. So if I go back and, uh, um, if you'll allow me to share my story with And, and it is very difficult, very challenging, so bear with me. I recall when I came home from work, she had not been feeling good over the weekend. And when I came home from work on Monday, I had told her that she was still running a fever, that we would go to the ER, that she would just need an antibiotic, something to help her get past what she was fighting. Well, to my dismay, when I came home and I touched her forehead with my lips to check her fever, like we did in the old school days, we would test the fever by touching her lips and seeing how hot they were. Well, she was burning up, and I was like, oh no, baby, we need to take you in. You are way too hot. You'll just need antibiotic, you know. I'll be with you. We'll get this done. Are you okay? Can you stand up with me? And she said yes. So I sat her up and I got her shoes on. When I got her shoes on and we were ready to stand, when I helped her stand up, she fell back on my bed and she actually stopped— what appeared to be stopped breathing. And all I'm saying, oh my gosh, Amanda, breathe! Amanda, breathe! She took this deep breath in And I immediately called 911. When they got here, she couldn't walk, which didn't make any sense to me because she had simply fallen back on my bed. It was soft. So they took her to the ER. They ran their test. Long story short, through all of their tests, they diagnosed her with viral meningitis. As a mom, I'm like, what's that? I didn't even know. And I felt that I should know as a mother, but I hadn't experienced before. So I did not know what it was. They said, oh, we'll admit her into the hospital, we'll get her on some antibiotics, she'll be fine, she'll be coming home Tuesday or Wednesday. So I sat on the bed with her and we were watching one of her favorite movies to pass time and help comfort her. Her brother and her sister, her boyfriend of the time, and her father were playing a Wii that the hospital had brought in the room. They were playing the little bowling game on there and I'm watching a movie with her And all of a sudden she looks at me and she says, "Mommy, give me a hug." And I says, "Okay." So I gave her a hug. She says, "Mommy, give me a kiss." I gave her a kiss. She says, "Mommy, I love you more." And you see, me and my daughter had this "I love you, I love you more" little game that we did back and forth. I never let her win, never. But she says to me, "Mommy, give me another hug." Mommy, give me another kiss. I love you more, Mommy. And I said, I love you more. She says, no, I love you more. She started to speed up all of a sudden. Give me another kiss, Mommy. Give another hug, Mommy. I love you more, Mommy. I love you more, Mommy. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, baby. Okay, okay, you love me more. And I let her win that game for the first time. When that happened, all of a sudden She started to project all vomit and went downhill so fast. We cleared the room, we got her stabilized to a point where she was okay, but she was non-responsive. We had an IV hooked up into her arm, and they had told me, keep her arm straight, don't let her bend this arm. And I wasn't sure what that was all about. All I know is I saw my baby laying there, and I'm trying to do what I can to help her and get her through this. As I was there with her, I was getting tired, and I asked if one of the staff could come in and help me, and they told me they were short-staffed, that they didn't have anyone. So I asked, could I have my best friend come and help me? And they told me yes. Now, simultaneously, this is like two things happening at once here from my friend's standpoint and my standpoint. I'm in the room with her waiting on my friend to come, and And all of a sudden I looked down at her and I'm thinking, something's wrong, something's wrong. And I looked at her and I don't know if I saw somebody walking by the room or not. I felt like I did, but I just remember yelling out, hey, is she breathing? No. Is she breathing? No, no, no. Is she breathing? And all of a sudden her room was filled with doctors and nurses and they started to perform CPR on my little girl. I got up and I walked around to the other side of her because I saw her arm just kind of flop down, and she had this ring on her one finger fell off. And I picked the ring up and I started to walk out of her room, no idea where I was going. I could not— I just didn't know what was happening. When I stepped out that room I heard a familiar voice call my name, "Jodi!" And I looked up and I saw my best friend as she was stepping off the elevator. And all I could do was look at her and I said, "Brandy, she's not breathing. She's not breathing, Brandy." The next thing that I remember was a neurologist approaching me. Telling me the worst news any parent could ever hear. I'm sorry, there's nothing we could do. What? What do you mean? He said, I'm sorry, there's nothing we could do. He said there was so much swelling in her brain that her stem collapsed. It was too late. You see, I heard him, but I could not comprehend what he was saying because this was too much. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to be coming home on Tuesday or Wednesday, or— well, I'm sorry, Wednesday or Thursday. So how in the world is she brain dead on Tuesday and we're told that we need to decide what time to let her go? Let her go? How do you let a loved one go? How do you let your child go? And I heard another soft voice so softly, 9 PM. I looked up and it was my 19-year-old son. And I said, "9:00 PM?" I said, "Why 9:00 PM?" He said, "That's what time she always went to bed. Let's let her go to sleep." You know, there wasn't a dry eye in that room. You see, when we had to decide what time to let her go, When that took place, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I was broken down to the core to have to let my baby go. She died in my arms. I was holding her. But you see, the thing is, what you got to understand, it's been 13 years since that day. Now get this. 13 years, and it still feels like at times it was yesterday, and other times it feels like it's been forever because I long to hear her voice, to see her face. I've asked the questions that every— many— that many people have asked that lost a loved one. Why? I don't understand why this is happening. But you see, you got to understand that God has a purpose in everything. And although she died in '16 at that age of 16, I know that she fulfilled her purpose in those 16 years, and it was amazing. If you would have known her, her smile, everything about her and how much she helped people— she fulfilled her purpose. I don't understand exactly what her full purpose was, what God had planned for her, but I do know that she fulfilled it because we all have an expiration date. God knows what that date is, and I've asked myself, why am I still here? I'm still here because I still have my purpose to fulfill. He's not done with me yet. With this tragedy that I have endured, for all of you who have lost a loved one, who have lost a child, I want to encourage you, okay? There are 3 key points that got me through the loss of my child, and I want to encourage you, hoping that this can help you too, because first and foremost is my faith in God. Because when you see, when I wasn't strong enough, he was. When I couldn't see a way, he made a way. It is only by the grace of God that I stand, sit here now before you today, filled with this peace that goes beyond understanding. Yes, I felt lost, empty, angry, even wished it was me instead of her, yet not yet knowing that she belonged to God before she belonged to me. So I was blessed to have her for the 16 years that I had her, and I wouldn't change that for the world. You see, we never foresee outliving our children simply because it's not the normal order of things, so it cuts us deeper than any pain I've ever known. Second, your community, your family and friends, they really are there for you, and it's so easy to push them away in the midst of our pain. They're only trying to help us, and we need them. Believe me, the community held me up so much. The love that was there was genuine and sincere, and I can never repay how family, friends, and the community supported me in my darkest time. Third and last, find your why. What do I mean by that? You have to figure out what it is that gives you a reason to keep going, and sometimes we have to dig deep to find out what that is. What is it that you believe in? Who do you love so much that it's going to keep you going? For me, it was my other two children, because you see, they still needed their mom. They were hurting and lost too. They lost a sister that day. So you have to find your why. My purpose isn't finished yet. Neither is yours. My baby girl is my purpose. She is the reason I'm here today. Sharing my story to help others like you who may have lost someone near and dear to your heart. You still have a purpose. You still have a life to live. Find your why. My name is Judy Amber, and Amanda, my beautiful Sweet Sixteen, she is my forever Sweet Sixteen. You still have a purpose. A Life to Live. I thank you for allowing me to share my story with you, and I really hope and pray in my heart that it changes for somebody, that it encourages you, that in tragedy comes triumph. You may weep during the night, but joy does come in the morning. It does. I never thought it would, but it does. It is only by the grace of God. I cannot stress enough that it is through his strength that I stand and continue on. Our loved ones, they look down over us. They do. God sees us. He sees our pain. He sees our hurt. But we find joy in there. You have to allow yourself to feel the pain, fully feel that pain, to heal from the pain. I still cry, and that's okay. You're gonna cry. It's not weakness. It's because of the love that you have in your heart for the one that's gone. They're gone physically, but they're with us spiritually forever. Lady Kay, I am, I am so grateful and just really hope that this makes a difference and changes somebody's life for the better to help them up out of their— in their process of grieving, because it's a lifetime journey. We don't get over it, we get through it. We live it every day, even when it goes unheard and unseen. I think for everybody, um, listening to this show, offer their sincerest condolences in what you went through. To have that and to open up and free your mind with LKJ at womensradiostation.com. For anybody at home that's listening, we're so grateful for you opening up and freeing your mind on this show. First and foremost, in your loss of a child, yes, we have that special magic we're in that club. There's both people at home in that club. We don't want to be in that club, as you said. However, we've been placed in that club. But in that club is a community where we have to reach out and support each other in that club. And in that club, as myself and Judy and as my ambassador, that is the club that we offer pro bono, which is free in— sorry, another trigger thing. I have to start again. Sorry, Judy. So when we've connected up— I apologize, just got to take a minute here. When you're in that club, We have united together with our voice, the people here, like with triggers that's affected me during the show, Judy, and people at home, in that club where we're a community, where Judy's voice and my voice will always be there. You know how to contact me if you can't remember how to contact Judy. You can get through Judy through me, through my websites, through here. There's many ways, through AOL. Judy will give you her platforms. And in the USA, if you want to say, well, I want to speak to her, they can. I think you can see the empowerment just in Judy's voice to actually open up and do that, to be there. And as I spoke earlier, we were doing— and again, sorry, when you lose a child, your mind goes, it plays tricks with you, even as a radio presenter doing this show. I have so many, like, things going around my head that I keep forgetting what I've got to say, trying to do it, but it's a real show, it's authentic, we are only being our authentic selves. So I apologize again for forgetting what the next question was. So again, I ask you just to bear with me one moment. Okay, so what I was saying was, um, we do free pro bono work, and in England we call it free therapy for people in that club, in that community, where, like, my triggers, your triggers, we help freely to do that because we have to learn to stand it. That's our special club. Doesn't mean nobody else in the world isn't special, but that's our club. That's our time to shout, scream, do whatever we want to do, trigger alerts, whatever. You want to still scream back to God even though in your belief you understand that my belief is this is not club. Judy and I were talking before on this, um, I said my message to you is this. Judy gave you hers. When we talk about God, a lot of people lose our faith. You've lost a child. Why did you do this? Why did you take that child from me? It's destroyed your mindset, it's destroyed you. You feel like you have been shot through the stomach. You are walking around so unbalanced, you don't know where you are. You are spinning, you are spinning, can't breathe. You feel hot, you feel cold, you're going, you're tired, you're screaming. You can see yourself When you're doing that, you can see yourself at that bed and it brings you back. You're like, what? The voices, you can hear them. You can see what you're doing, but you've now been thrown out of your natural body by acute trauma. Whoa, whoa. Have you ever got off rollercoaster or spanner and thought, whoa, where am I? What's going on? Nothing makes sense. Nothing. As time comes on, we deal with all the stages that we go through with grief, one by one. Screaming, anger, resentment, hurt, blaming yourself. Was it me? What was that? You just hate the world. You become cruel. You just react with your voice, do things that are not what you would normally do. This isn't you. What this is, somebody that you're watching doing in your time of grief and journey, you're breaking down relationships, something like that, to do that control. Why did I do that act? Why did I do that act? Why did I scream at that person? Why do you— because Eating disorders, trauma, mental trauma, people, you know, feel they've lost everything. The only way we see it, and we spoke about this on the show with a previous guest that's been on, Free Your Mind, that when I asked them, why do you cut yourself? They said, I cut myself because it relieves the pressure, which is wrong. It lets out the steam. But us, when you're in grief, you're screaming at that person, "You don't understand! Didn't happen to you! It didn't happen to you! How do you know?" "Well, I lost— I've lost my mum." "No! You don't understand, and you don't get to understand because you don't know! You don't know! Do you know what it was like to give birth to that child? Do you know?" that love, that cry, that they were there. Love you more, Mummy. Love you more, Mummy. And it's gone. Give me back that voice. Give me back that person. Why? Why, God, did you do that? Why did you come along and thrown and destroyed my whole world? Why? I want to know why. I don't want to punish everyone and go to everyone till you tell me why. Because I was a kind person. I didn't do anything wrong. They didn't do anything and you took and destroyed these good souls. Anger, grief, you got mindset playing tricks with you. What you have to do, and what it did to me, it burnt me down to the ashes. It destroyed me. It destroyed me as it destroyed you and anybody in that time when you're going through that, all the days, everything going on. And you have mental blocks on certain things that you have put out of your mindset, that you can't go back. What you're saying is, how do I fix this? The only way you can fix it is truly if you want with your mindset. But what you have to understand, people like myself, like Judy, or if somebody's listening to this show and you've lost a child Grief for it every day. You know, on antidepressants, you know, just have a pill, go there, trying to sleep. You don't get dressed. I'm living in my pajamas. I don't want to go outside the door. I don't want to see anyone. You become living in your own home, causing even more mental health things until you crash and burn. Everyone knows I believe in God. I'm a Christian. And everyone has their beliefs equally under, and I also believe in the spirit world. So I believe, so I started reacting myself, Judy, yeah, and to the listeners. Come on, come on, show me the light. I heard that, that said, that was a message, that was a sign. Thank you. Yes. Smell that perfectly. Can I— what's that? Why is that feather falling down? Like, no, even when I'm talking I can feel as if someone's like touching my head, and you people out there might think, hey, Kay, you've gone mad. No, I haven't. Like, if you could visually see through this radio what happens, like that, when you keep touching your hair, keep moving, so as if someone's stroking your face. They're all around. It's like we're here because what God does when we are born, we are all born for a reason, for a purpose. You may not understand that journey, but reflection, when you look back, would I go through it again? God said to me and to you, Judy, would you go back if I let you rewind and take it back and eliminate it all before you had the child and walk through it? But you can't change that or have it Yes, I would. I would go through that pain again because not having it— I'd rather had it and lost it and loved, because that pain teaches you love. When you have love, how do you know it's love until something's gone? How do you know? When you've held that baby in their arms that come in, you've rocked it like that, where have you gone? I like that. When we get frustrated with our children, when they're growing up, teenagers, anyone struggling currently with your teenager, age 13, 14, 15, when they're going through all this emotion, always look at your child because you never know when that child— you screamed at your child and it went to school that child was taken from me because beyond any of our control, that will haunt your mind. Never go to bed on an argument. Never leave your child for a night. Always explain and do that because my message clearly is this: God put people like Judy, myself, and those people in that club as his people on our journey that he chose when we came and we were born. His journey for us, like for yours, is very different. It has a purpose, a reason for it, and we don't know what that is until we come through that. But that journey is this. We have to now, in that club, Carry on and show everybody what legacy means, what love means. When Jesus Christ was persecuted on that cross, he had to take his own son back because he had to know what pain was. Message it was. Now look at Jesus Christ's message from that. He's known all around the world. People like us, not to build a shrine, to the loss of my child or yours, or to my brother or my mother, my, you know, and other people that are close family who've lost, like the Sales people do. But the message is this: they've taken that because they gave you the gift of that which was a gift of love, so that you understand pain. Yes, we wouldn't want it, but if you ask the question, if I gave you her back, would you want to relive it knowing that she would go again at that time? You would go. No, please God, don't do that to mine. Don't. I'd rather not. You give me up and do that. I think we all come, which I believe, in the same mindset that I would do it all over again because she's— she was part of me. My brother was part of me. People at home and listening, they're all part of us, as you were, Judy, saying rightly into them. But you have to carry on, you have to stand, because we are now the disciples of that club. Judy and I, amongst other people, probably have more in our club that will join us to say, "I'm feeling low today, I'm really having a bad trigger day, it's Christmas, can I come to the—" But now we're in the new year, We've just gone through Christmas, a really hard trigger. When you remember, where's their Christmas stockings? Where's that? You've gone through huge trauma. We are in January. We need to clear up. We are enough. We're strong enough. But the message is we cannot eliminate them or their journey. We have to carry on for somebody that cries out to us and says, I've lost my child. Not our pain is the same as yours. Is— we have hindsight now. We know how that feels and we're thrown back in there. So using our voice to try and get you through so you don't destroy yourself. Because you do destroy yourself like I did, as you did, and you burn yourself right down to the ashes destroying. The amount of people whose marriages break up, because of the loss of a child, a love that's gone, because the communication, all your signals have gone. You've de-wired. You've gone on to exterminate, exterminate, and that's what you've done. You've exterminated. But you have to come through this and work with her. But Judy— Yes? Her Death could have been avoided, couldn't it? Yes, it could have. Possibly. There's two ways to look at that. Possibly. Because let me share with you, you know, I blamed myself for a long time. What if I had taken her to the hospital sooner? Was it my fault? Had I known how sick she was, what she had? Because it seemed like she just had the flu. So for a long time, I blamed myself. But I had to realize, you didn't know. You were doing what any mother would have done. So you didn't do anything wrong. But at the same time, it also could have been avoided if what was going on with her was paid closer attention to. It could have been avoided in the hospital. And that also made me question, yes, I could have been avoided, but, and again, had it not happened, would people be learning today? So I feel like in a sense it was part of God's purpose because her legacy lives on through her and people are learning through her. And as much— believe me, as much as I wish she was here, God knows I would love to have my baby girl back at the drop of a dime. But I'm telling you, if she was here, none of this would be happening either. So there's a higher purpose that God had for it as well. Does that make sense, Lady Kay? Absolutely. Because for those listeners at home who've just lost a child, maybe over Christmas, going through it, their child's— they're having to cope with being told your child is going to die. Short lives, so they have incurable disease, they've got to go back, they have to prepare their families and everything for the loss of this which I— is it harder? Is it better that you had time to say, "Right, I'm going to walk there and tell him"? I don't— I think equally it's hard in both aspects. But for us, if we haven't got in there and you become part of that club to do that, how are we going to help people to understand them fully, to be mental health advocates, grief counsellors, I believe when you walk in empathy, you understand. When you see that teardrop in that person's eye, they're breaking down, you know the feeling of pain. As I said, our pains are very different, but I know I have been ripped apart with pain, every possible thing, hanging as if I was just on a thread. With nothing left but air. I've been crucified in my brain and tortured like yourself. But would I go through it again? Yes, I would. But now I've got my purpose to God and to mental health, is why I dedicate that part to the people in that club, free, as you do. Free. Because we are that club. We didn't want to be part of that club. We don't wear a badge for that club. What we do is we do not eliminate the excuses to eliminate our challenge, and our challenge is to always put that invisible hand out to help that person suffering with grief, with loss. And yes, there's many types of grief, and we do have this separate club where we do work on techniques that are different. Because when we, we, we are in therapy and we are doing it— but the word therapy, let me just touch on that. Why I want to just briefly— it's not therapy. We need to transform the mindset. We need to believe in ourselves and not shift us again. But only we can do that. So that's where it leads us to the other part. This part then opens up from our grief to where it diverts all off into different people, people losing husbands, grandparents, other reasons, tragedy through murder, anything, different categories that come off of our circle. And when using the transformational people who— mental health, grief, cancers like yourself, myself— is where we specialize now in that, specialize in grief. You know that challenge if somebody's been in it. So with the techniques under transformation in that mindset, we will build with hope. We will build until our breaths, without any reasonable doubt that we cannot. We will support you, and that's why we have this platform. If you contact us, we don't have a platform where you see different people and they go, "Well, 8 weeks will cost you this, cost you that." Yes, we will work with you every day if you want us to on challenges to help you through that. So we don't put out that price for what it is, and neither do we take from you a huge amount of money because we need to help you build on with that. So the gain is not so much about the monetary It's about helping you go through. But like, you have to go to work, we have to go to work, so we look at it in a fair thing. So I'd say to you, let's have a discovery call. Just chat with us. We'll give you an hour like that. Let's hear what we can do. Only that way can we decide. Let's work together. Let's just do one. But we don't reduce it if you have 10 lessons, you get it cheaper. You would keep the same rate, the same time, because when you're spending— you might go on and be 2 hours, but that 2 hours might keep you going along. I said, you know, we're going to go to the next day until we've dealt with the acute trauma that's affected your brain to go on. How can we then go on to the next level? But we will show you. But let's— slow steps. Doesn't have to be huge in just having a 15-minute discovery call each time. How you doin'? I feel like— I feel like screaming. Okay. After those 15 minutes, you then charge for 45 minutes to allow you to bring you down, help with you to go through. That's your— you decide then. After you've come out of that, how you feel, and you've dealt with your triggers, we've done a Okay, and you're having a really bad day. It's the anniversary of the death. Judy, lel kei jay. Get the discovery report, 15 minutes, we'll talk you through. We can't bring you down, we will have to go into the method that we work on to enable you to rebalance and shift it. So you do it like that. So that's how we work, because we're there when you need us. And that's the most important thing, is being there when you are there. And I'll let you give your time to explain that as well, what you would do in that time, Judy. Say that again? I said, so for yourself, if somebody— I'm ringing you up now. Making that first 15 minutes, free call, Judy, I just don't know what to do. I'm screaming, I'm just gonna run away. Why are you— I've had enough, I've had enough. I can't cope, I can't breathe, panic. So those first 15 minutes, we use our techniques which we're trained in to bring them down. So I'm saying for you, for your voice, just to lend to that person who's listening to this radio show If they were having a trigger now, to know they could reach out. How could they reach you, Judy? Because in the UK, they have to do +1, take off the zero, and then dial your number. So I need you to read out your number, which is +1, take your zero out so they can do it. Say it 3 times, so it allows them to take that in or replay the show. So they get your number. Can you tell them that part, please? Okay, so you're saying for the UK it's zero— it's 1 plus 0 and then plus 1, plus 1, plus 1. Give me your number, read your number out, then I will repeat it to the viewers. That might be easier. There you go. So my number is 734-624- 5-3-2-3. Okay, so I'm going to repeat that. So if anybody in the UK want to connect with Judy, want to know more about her story and hear your story, she gives a free 1-hour discovery call. Anything else on her platform is 15 minutes to help you as a free pro bono for you allowing to explain, you know, your triggers, get through, and then the 45 minutes are then chargeable from that. And to contact Judy, if you can't get hold of me in the UK, you can ring +1. That's again +1. And again, press +1. So it'll be +1 734 624 5323. I'll repeat that again. +1 734 624 5323. 3. Again, +1 7346245323. If you are calling from the US into the UK, You put +44 and I will be having a different line that you can connect to for this. It's the branding that Judy and myself are having to come through to take those calls. It will be direct calls. If you can't get through to me, I will be a diverter that will divert you through to Judy to enable you to speak. And you think, how do I do that? I'm an Emergent, I need to pay for that. You do the call, but during the call, you know, say, come on to do that, to go through. We will explain and how things go. The main thing is to hear your voice. But initially, what we will do is, please, you can choose PayPal. So I'm like, this is wavy. Pay. Cashout and PayPal, um, meaning the best way to do that. Um, but it's not about that side so much. It's about who we are and what we're trying to build and build with you. It is entirely up to what you want to do. It's your mind. You're ready to do that, and you can do that. You want to transform your mindset. For me, for Judy's story, is that she is a caregiver. She's a caregiver of your mindset. She's transformational. She's a grief counsellor. She's— and she is my ambassador. She is the ambassador for LKJ. She will work, and she works under the authority of LKJ Media and who I am, an ambassador for my voice. I lend to her as she lends her voice to me, but our ears are there to listen to you. Our hand is invisible across, but we're holding them out. Reach out, we're there for you. We believe in you. You are enough. You are not worthless. Reach out. Do not destroy yourself. Think and use through our voices and let us hear your story. Let us hear your pain and help you understand through that pain how we will help you live with that love. You could be screaming at that radio right now, going, "You're talking rubbish, you're talking baloney." I don't want to be cancelled, I don't want to be— I've done it, I've been there, I've walked the shoes. In actual fact, I wrote The Broken Girl in the Red Shoes that won the Best Author of Fiction, the longlist, in Salba 2020 Awards. I'd never written a book before. I've written lots of books after and they're all in And I haven't released them all yet because I'm doing it in my time when I'm ready to do that, because I still believe the impact of the Broken Girl in Red Shoes is there for you. Now, while we just bring ourselves back down, I'm going to bring you back down. I just want us all just to take a couple of minutes and spell breathe. As we did in our exercise before, just to bring ourselves down and just close our eyes just for 2 minutes, just to breathe, think about what we've talked about in the show. We need to allow ourselves to free that, not make our heartbeat go, not to incite another trigger. I won't problematise— some of you might fall asleep. Sleep after this. Because sometimes when your brain's drained of that energy, like Judy and myself, I'm going to have to lay down after this show because my mind is full of it. But I've got to breathe it out and I've got to relax and I have to go to sleep and just let all that go back out. But in the voices, we're just gonna have 2 minutes. Keep breathing. Inhale and exhale. Get that breathing out. Release that out through your breathing technique. Eyes are closed. You're calm, calm, calm. Clearing your mind. Look at that lovely blue sky. Smell the air. What can you smell? Look at the most happiest place you've been in ever in your life and bring— look at the laughter, the smile, and the happiness. Now I want you to open your eyes. Allow your eyes to refocus around the room. Stop breathing. Just shake your hands. Just give them a little shake. And stop rolling the shoulders. I want you to stand and just stretch your arms right out. I want you to echo these words and stand in your own balance. I am enough. You're enough. We're all enough. Now turn your hands over so your palms are upright. I receive the respect of love. I receive that the pain hurts, but I ask with your left hand now to take that pain and say, you have to be placed there. Bring that arm back in. Put your arms out, open them up wide. I am enough. My legacy counts. My journey counts. The loss of my child counts, the loss of anyone that you count, and under that whole unity that I believe in my human mind, you will never be forgotten. But I trust that your guardian light will show us to carry on and keep that tianigang until we meet you again. That's my message on that. So now, Judy, as we're stretching on like that, um, We've got to bring everybody up on that show, which has been amazing show. So we go into positivity now and looking at that, lots of positive things happening. We've got the march at L.E.T., we've got the Bridging of the Gap in the UK where people or listeners, they want to come on and tell your story. As you said, you went on to the Sean Fair leadership tour. To spell Sean Fair, it's S-H-A-U-N-F-A-I-R. A-W-N, then Fair, F-A-I-R. We are a unity, we are together. But Julius, we're just about to close the show. Can I just leave you to give a quick message out there, um, a minute to your last message for people from yourself? Yes, listen, I just want everybody to know you are You are not alone. Even when you feel like you're alone, you are not alone. We are there for you. We love you. Do not be afraid to reach out and ask for help. We make it through together. And that is so true. I want everybody that's there now, what's your message to us? Shout it out and stand up and say your message and say it 3 times. Throw it out to that universe. Throw it out. But if you're throwing out with hatred and that, the universe gives you back twice fold what you put out. We all know that, Judy, don't we? Yeah, you're gonna fall for doing that. Because we need kindness, we need respect, we need love, we need that voice. But if you incite anger, you incite that, it's going to come back. They say karma. I don't use the word karma, but people say what you get comes back. But what they're really talking about is the universe, what we've been created here for. We use the quantum upshift of the mindset. You are enough. The glass is full. We're going to fill that glass. With love. You're going to fill that glass with memories. You are a legacy. What you do is the footprint you leave behind. Will you be remembered? How would you like to be remembered? What I remember about Judy is sharing her story, a very powerful story, here on Free Your Mind. Let's talk about it. Okay, dear. Which I thank you, Judy, for coming. Even against all the triggers, like ourselves, we all have triggers, we're still enough, which proves it doesn't matter. Even like for me as a trained radio presenter, what I do, my triggers are coming. My message was simply, you're not alone, you are enough. That's our combination one. So from Free Your Mind, let's talk about it with Al KJ. I'll see you on the next show. Thank you, Judy. Goodbye.