Judymay Is Listening – Hibernating Brilliantly

Welcome to Judy Mayer's Listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life and I listen and together we transform everything. Welcome, welcome. You're listening to women's radio stations that supporting women's well being. I'm Judy Mae Murphy and here in studio we also have our lovely associate producer Elspeth Proudlock who made me laugh so hard right before we went on air because we have just this great energy here in studio and we love doing this show. We love coming to you live at noon every Monday from our little studio in Covent Garden. It's just an absolute joy and a pleasure. And we're, you know, we're dancing and we're grooving and right before we went to air, Elspeth goes okay, let's hibernate. Which might seem like it's something that's a little bit counter to what the, what the vibe is, what, what we're trying to do here in transforming everything in your life. But the fact is we are today talking all about hibernation. Elspeth, how do you feel when the winter's coming? I tend to just wear sweaters and just not go outside at all. Which always ends in the worst kind of combination because you need to go outside, you need to see the sun. There's not much sun. It's the one time you need to get your vitamin D right, get your sad just kicking in hardcore. So I love to just. Oh, I mean I love sitting in my bed watching a nice like TV show. My one at the moment is Anne with an E. Have you seen it all about Anne with an E? Do you know what I've heard about that? Yes, it's so nice. It's so lovely to watch. There's nothing really horrible about it. It's all really lovely and it's like a double hibernation. Like you're in bedroom, you're all cozy and then you've got this lovely little world that you disappear into. It is exactly that. It's all about this little girl who goes, who was an orphan, gets finally adopted by this family and she's living on this island in Canada and it's just so gorgeous. Oh, I can hear in your voice how much you're loving that. Don't you just love it? Ladies, when we find something that just really brings us joy and what we're going to be doing today is we're going to be talking about how is it that we can approach the winter because now is the time to do it. Usually people wait until sort of November, December, even January. And they say, oh, I didn't get a holiday, I didn't get away to the sun. We're presuming that nobody is going to be able to fly away and rescue themselves this winter. We're presuming that everybody is going to be here in, you know, I'm presuming, I know lots of people listen from all around the world, but I'm actually speaking to people who are about to face four months of it being dark, it being a bit gloomy, it being a bit gray. And there are some people who get really, really affected by it. Elspeth, you just mentioned sad, sad. And that's called seasonal effect. That stands for seasonal affective disorder. And the thing about that is it just means that when winter kicks in, things get harder and everyone experiences it to a certain extent. Some people experience it even more, including the person who wrote to us and sparked this whole show topic that we're doing today. That was Alison. Alison's kind of freaked out. I don't actually have the email. It was very, very long. I didn't print. And what Alison was worried about was that she's had previous winters where she got so down that she is just thinking that this winter is going to be the same. But you know what, when we do different things, we get different outcomes. So let's do different things. So the very first different thing that we can do is let's work out what it is that has worked for us in the past. What do we like about winter? And there, you know, Elspeth's given us a few ideas. She likes kind of getting into bed, she likes kind of drawing the duvet around her. She likes kind of getting in that snuggly sort of way. A thing that I love to do in winter is I love to be really, really organized with my food. I went a bit crazy last week, good crazy. And what I did was I went and ordered food online. I went to a well known supermarket and just got in stocks. So right now my kitchen is about, is pretty big, but now it's about half the size that it normally is because I have got, I've got 12 huge bags of different kinds of nuts. I'm literally like a squirrel right now. I have got my pecan nuts, my cashew nuts. I don't know actually be pretty posh. Squirrel actually was sitting around with pecans and cashews. But you get what I'm saying that I've got all these bags of seeds and nuts and grains and so just the nuts alone is 12 huge bags. So you can just think about, like, and then the seeds. I think there's about eight different seed packets. Things like chia seeds and pumpkin seeds. Again, huge packets of them. And if you can do this, I understand that for some people, that this might be a bit of a stretch financially, but if you can do this, or to whatever extent you can do it, even if you just go and buy, you know, four cans of soup and you just say to yourself, you know, I'm safe. It's that feeling of groundedness, that feeling of, you know, I don't need to go out if I. If I have to stay in, I've got this. And that really is what we're looking for. Elspeth, I know that you are a huge fan of the winter coat. I've got too many. Do you know what? There's gonna be a time where you'll just be like, you know what? There is no such thing as too many, because you feel good with those coats. I love every single one of them. They are all my babies. I've got about 20. That is the first time I've heard someone refer to their coat as their babies. Dogs. Yes. Actual babies. Yes. No. I was decluttering my room the other day, and I was like, right, I need to get rid of so many stuff because I've got quite a small wardrobe. I live in quite a small studio. And I opened up my water, but I went, I can't bin any of these. I love all of them. I was trying to bin things that I hated, that I never wore. No, I couldn't with my coats. What is your favorite winter coat? When it comes to just the feeling I'm imagining, it's something that kind of reaches to the floor. It is. I've got a massive, long, grey trench coat that I actually got from a charity shop, which was a bit strange because when I first bought it, I put my hands in the pockets, and it still had the previous owner's stuff in it. Oh, stuff, as in sandwiches or her glasses. Okay, that's not. That's not too bad. And also, if we think about what. What could have been in those pockets, you probably got away quite well. But I love it to pieces. And I've also. I love fur. I wish I had all the money. Faux fur. Okay. Fake fur. I love the fact that someone of your generation, the presumption is that we're talking about it is faux. Whereas people of my generation, you know, we sort of have to. Have to think about it because, you know, we grew up still fighting that fight. Yeah. No, my generation definitely. When you say fur, it means faux fur. I have about three or four, no, five faux fur and probably a few under the bed that you've forgotten about. Yeah, probably. But if I had all the money in the world, because faux fur is still expensive because it's very trendy. If I had all the money in the world, I would just buy all faux fur coats I love to wear. Excellent. I'm picturing it now. I can see it five years into the future. Just a huge, big walk in closet. Just nothing but faux fur coats as far as the eye can see. Gonna be like Cruella de Vil. Yes, you are, ma'. Am. Yes, you are. The good version, but the good version, the fake version. So as you can see, like, it can be really fun to start to think about what is it that you can do to support yourself? What are the things that you can bring into your life that are going to make this winter better, rather than waiting until you're standing at a freezing cold taxi stand to think about having that really, really great coat. Just imagine right now, what will it be like when things get really, really cold? What will you need? I also, you might notice people in the studio that I am wearing a new hat today. I have. It is a sort of a slouchy beanie, I think they call it. So it's like a beanie with a lot going on in the back. And the reason that I really love it is because when the more hats I have, the more looked after, I feel it's kind of like a hug. It's kind of like a sartorial hug is the thing that we're going for this winter because often the elements and battling with the elements, we can get through it physically. But it does have this enormous emotional toll. And the more that we get in place right now, the more our emotions can relax and think, yeah, you know what? We've got it. We've got that great big lung, dodgy in the pockets, coat to the ground. We've got that slouchy beanie. We've got the soups and the nuts and the seeds in the cupboard. And it sounds like such. Such simple stuff. And that, you know, when we're talking about something like sad, that it should be a lot more complex. It is gonna. We're gonna talk about a lot of different things, but it starts with the basics. We can't ignore the basics in life with anything. People come to me for coaching and they say you know what? My, my love life is a mess. I'm not getting on with my spouse. And we talk with things like, well, how we, how often do you make your spouse a cup of tea? How often do you hold their hand? And they want to ignore that and they want to talk about the clashes between their particular personality types. You know what we start with the cup of tea that's always our building block for all of our success is just the thing in the moment, the simple thing in the moment that can be done right now by you, by everybody, that it's about looking after you. And when we have histories of looking after other people, we talk about this a lot on Judy Mayer's Listening. When we have a history of looking out for others, making sure that others are okay, we can just forget about ourselves. And maybe if your kids are raised and out of the house, maybe if you don't have kids, maybe if you're a family of one living on your own, it's okay. Whatever is going on, you need to put your focus on you right now. What do you need to do right now physically with these smaller things to make sure that your winter is going to be okay? Is it something as simple as go to one of these high street stores and get a 15 pound little heater in case your heater breaks down or in case your heating breaks down? I know that happened to both myself and Elspeth last winter and we were standing there having discussions about these little portable heaters. Is it that you need to do something like brighten the place up? Why wait till spring if you can actually declutter, if you can get the windows washed, just anything that makes you feel like, you know what? This is my place. This is a place of joy. This is a place where I'm being served by my environment. That will make it a lot easier when you're in that space a lot more going into winter. It'll stop you feeling stuck. You'll have this sensation that you are actually in a place that you're choosing to be in rather than in a place that is that there's no option because of what's going on outside. That even if it was a lot sunnier, even if it was a lot brighter, you'd still love to be there because it's just so damned gorgeous. So speaking of damn gorgeous, how are you doing? How are you doing right now? How are you doing with your plans for your winter? What is it that you want to have happen this winter? As we go into the ad break, I'd like you to have a little think and maybe take some notes about what are your goals? Don't wait till January 1st. Right now, what is it that you want to achieve? Other particular skills that you want to accomplish? Are there particular things that you want to get moving? Like maybe there is some paperwork you want to get done. Maybe there are some relationships you need to move on from. Maybe there's some relationships you need to reach out and start to make. So what is it that you would like? In fact, what would you love to have happen this winter? Welcome to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. 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At Nurturing Birth, we offer approved doula training courses across the UK which are facilitated by an award winning doula. Here you will learn more about the support you can offer, explore the doula role and think about how to set up your business. No need for previous qualifications. Find out more at nurturingbirth.co.uk. You're listening to Women's Radio station supporting women's well being. Women's Radio station's creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter @WomensRadiostation. That's WomensRadiostn or Facebook Women's radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programmes. Welcome to Judy Mayer's Listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life and I listen and together we transform everything. Welcome back. This is Judy Mae Murphy. We're coming to you live from our studio in Covent Garden. You're listening to WRS women's radio station supporting women's wellbeing. And the way that we're supporting your wellbeing this week is by thinking about winter, setting us up for the most amazing winter, being absolute champions and divas at hibernation. And we were speaking just before the break about how we do that physically, how do we get like the story stocks in, how do we make sure that we have everything that we need, the winter coats, the heaters, anything at all. For some people it means actually going on a sunbed that they just sort of feel that they're a little bit more enlivened by that. And I heard from an expert in this that in fact, although, you know, we have to be very, very careful using sunbeds and if you have any doubts at all, please go to your doctor. But, but it has been said that the buzz that we get physically from going on a sunbed that chemically it can actually help us. And we certainly know that if we suffer from something like SAD seasonal affective disorder, that light boxes are really good. I actually used to suffer from really, really bad sad. And the way that I would get over it would be to physically leave either England, Ireland or France, wherever I was living at the time, or even sometimes New York. I've lived in a lot of places and get myself to Palm Springs, California. And I would spend either December or January, the whole month in Palm Springs, California, writing by the pool, looking up at, you know, blue skies and palm trees and doing it that way. But then any year that I couldn't do that, and most people are in a situation where that's not possible for them, I would just completely fall apart, utterly fall apart. So I had to learn how to not physically be in the sunshine and yet have that kind of sunshine state going on inside me for the entire winter. And one thing that I found to be absolutely huge and this, you're going to probably say, okay, that's not profound. It couldn't possibly be, that that's too boring. But the fact is, and facts are facts, that the thing that would have me having an incredible winter would be a great routine. Really, really great structure. So, you know, being excited, knowing that, you know, I was getting up at six in the morning and I would have my, my little yoga routine and have my meditation routine and journaling and then I'd go and I'd start learning this language and this topic and, and doing this. And then I know I would start work at this particular time and then I would say, okay, it's Tuesdays. Tuesday at 2 o' clock is when I go to this particular hotel and, and I started to live my life in that way. And it just had the most profound impact on me because I sort of knew that I was held safe by this structure. Very often in winter we kind of have this thing of like either in work or not in work. And when we're not in work, we just collapse. And our brain can then feel a bit unsafe because it doesn't kind of know, well, what are we doing here, what's going on? And that's when we can start to get sluggish and that's when a sort of a terminal passivity can kick in and we can start to, you know, not just be snuggled, but be collapsed. And there is a difference. So what we want to do is we want to make sure that this winter we're snuggled but not collapsed. And the routine is absolutely key for that. So design your downtime as well as your uptime. So as it gets later in the day, as the brain can't make decisions and, you know, can't fire in the same way as it was earlier on in the day, that is when willpower kind of runs out, right? So our willpower runs low. And you know, if we make big promises to ourselves, like, I'm gonna Go to the gym at 8 o' clock at night. Those tend not to happen simply because the brain just kind of goes, ah, no. So what we need to do is we need to make sure that we're actually designing that more snuggly time, because it is time for that. We need that as human beings. We need to not always be go, go, go. We need to be, you know, not always fight and flight, but we need a little bit of freeze. We need a little bit of kind of like curling up inside ourselves and just meeting ourselves. And winter is so beautiful for that. So how is it that we can do it? Is it that you can say to yourself, like with Elspeth and she's. She's watching and Ann with an E. Is that what you said it was called? Yes. I'm obsessed. In fact, I have a feeling that if I sat back, you would happily talk about that for the whole time. I could talk from the first episode to the one that I've seen up to. I would tell you in detail. Watch it. This is just a brilliant example of that. You can be passionate about something. You're not just kind of watching whatever comes on. You're actually learning from it. You're growing from it. I can see in your eyes that, you know, it's really bringing out the absolute joy in you. So find something that will do that for you this winter. Find something that you're really, really passionate about. It might be that you have a second honeymoon booked to go to Italy. How about if you became fluent in Italian this winter? Now I know instantly you say, how can you become fluent just in that short amount of time? You can get pretty damn close if you say to yourself, right, you know what? Every single night I'm going to watch a movie in Italian. Before I watch my movie, I'm going to spend 10 minutes learning some grammar, guaranteed. But that by the time you get to Italy, you are going to be just on fire, chatting away, really confident, understanding what's going on. Why not have that as your winter thing? Now, there's some things that maybe don't do so well with that. Like if you decide that your winter thing is that you're going to become a skateboarder. Yeah, you could do it. And it might not. For most people, the outdoorsy ness of it and the rigor of it wouldn't suit the season. So what suits your season? Maybe it's that you normally do something and then you just kind of stop doing that. Perhaps it's that you normally walk to your yoga class and you love your yoga. Do you find yourself doing it less then as the winter kicks in? Be ready for that and say to yourself, what can I do instead? Maybe it's time to go on YouTube and find a whole bunch of things that you can do at home. Or maybe it's time instead to try something else entirely. Maybe have something that is right beside your house or right beside your workplace so you can design an absolutely extraordinary winter for yourself. Also, what's one thing that you always told yourself? What is one thing that you said to yourself, you know what? I know that in this lifetime I'm going to fill in the blank, right? I have a client of mine who, when we met 10 years ago, she said to herself, you know, I feel like I'm never going to get married. And she had all kinds of challenges going on in her life and all kinds of difficulties. And it took a while. It took a while, but she just steadily, you know, worked away at it. And she spent a lot of time in the early stages just reading, reading about recovery from difficult childhood, reading about why it was that up until then she had only been attracting really abusive people, reading about what it was that made a really good relationship. And then she was out there and then she was getting it all wrong. Because we've got to do that. We've got to get it wrong in order to get it right. And she would. She just did that for a long time. Then yesterday, she got married. She got married and she. Honestly, I was looking at the pictures and the videos this morning, and she is so, so blissfully happy. So the thing that makes winter, it makes it really easy to feel depressed, feel down in winter, is the stories that we're telling ourselves. Because when we can't physically go out with the same degree of freedom, when we don't have as much light coming in, the stories that are going on inside our head seem to be real. They become more real. These stories that we've made up, we make them real simply by believing them, by focusing on them. So this is part of your designing now is going to be what is it you want to no longer believe? And then the next part of that is, you know, what do you believe instead? That's the really important part. That's the juicy part. What do you want to believe instead? So if you have a belief that you are a lazy person in winter, that can feel much more true than it can in summer when you're, you know, maybe a little bit more active or the world is more in the outside world is more integrated with your inside world. So maybe for you, you've been telling yourself a story that you will never own your own business. Well, how about if you say, right, my winter project is, then I'm going to get snuggly, I'm going to make that, you know, hot cup of whatever, and I'm going to sit there and that could be anything from hot cup of whiskey through to hot cup of, you know, oat milk, whatever it is. Sit with that and say to yourself, this is the winter where I turn it all around. And it's so fantastic because there is a kind of a quiet and a steadiness to the winter. I know that, you know, things get a little bit crazy around Christmas, but there is in general, to the season, there's that feeling of steadiness, stillness, and use that, use that so you don't feel that you have to be manically making phone calls, making things happen. This is a great time for preparation, fantastic time for preparation. This is a time when a lot of people go in and get themselves some kind of a qualification online. So anything is possible for you this winter. So when you are sitting there knowing that anything's possible and you're getting really excited about anything, from watching a great Netflix series, right through to starting a PhD, right through to starting your own business, right through to moving on from a particular relationship, whatever is the most important thing for you, that is the most important thing. You know, don't. Don't think about what the world says you should have done by this particular age. That's not what's important. What's important is what is it that you know when that gets sorted, when that gets transformed, when that gets lived through, that on the other side of that, your life is going to be even more incredible. Identify that. Start making your plan. Make your plan for this is the winter dream come true. So that by January 1st, when everybody else is getting started, you're done. You're either like right in the middle of it, making it happen way down the road, or it's actually already been achieved. And then you get to set some more January goals. And a lot of people, when they say, you know, I'm going to do this in January, it's usually because they haven't worked out well, what are the steps? What is that going to look like? And it's kind of a nice idea. It's almost like a way of procrastinating. I always say that procrastination doesn't exist. It's just that you're not doing it with a great story wrapped around that you're not doing it. The great story being I'll do it when you're either doing something or you're not. So let's not wait till January 1st. Let's be celebrating. How about this? How about every single listener to Judy May's listening. We have a great big celebration on January 1st. Of all the things that we did before January 1st, we've got like a good two months left and we're ready. We're ready for this. So let's make this the most extraordinary winter that any of us have ever had. Welcome to the Women's Radio Station. Supporting Women's well Being Women's Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education and most importantly, women's well being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website womensradiostation.com for more information. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash, but just don't know where to start. @empowerandenrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. 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Welcome back. I'm Elspeth and I am Judy May's associate producer. And today we're talking about hibernating. Now, we were just having a discussion on the break about how other ways of not being stuck in your house, not in your nest, and other ways you can go out and do the exact same things you're gonna do in your home outside. I love that that you said that. One thing you do during the winter is that you take yourself out for a walk quite early in the day. Yep. Every. Every day I go for a walk. So I tend to walk from my home to work. But before when I was living in Cheltenham and stuff, I would go up for a walk on the hills and stuff. Stuff just to get some sun. I would tend to go by myself. I walk into work by myself with some tunes on. So I'm in my own little world. I don't have to be mentally stressing myself by talking to people or whatnot. I can just get on with it, have a little tune on, a little boogie as I walk in. Fantastic. And then I imagine when you do get to that little lovely old nest that we were talking about earlier, that then you feel like you've really earned it, that you haven't just kind of been there all day. Yeah, it doesn't. It becomes a thing of joy rather than just a thing that becomes neutral to you. It definitely releases endorphins. Definitely. I feel a lot happier and a lot more joyful, a lot more. I can do anything sort of thing. So today what we're doing is we're Talking about how to have an incredible winter. Alison, one of our listeners, is really concerned because in the past, historically, she's always had a really, really tough winter. And the thing is, whenever we've had a. We've always had a really tough time with something. We presume that it's always going to be that way. So if someone's always been broke, they envisage themselves always being broke. If they have always gotten into bad relationships, they think they're always going to get into bad relationships. But you know what? There is a day, there is like a freedom day. So this is going to be your freedom winter, Allison, where you can just completely turn it around by doing these really, really small things. And so, you know, we were talking right before the break about structure. And so this idea of going for a walk, getting those endorphins going, just getting yourself, getting your boogie on as you walk down the street. And you should see Ellsworth walking down the street. It's a thing to behold. She really is strut. She struts. She's like. We call her the Sassy lady. Sassy is the word that we all use for her because she is. And just that and the biggest smile on her face. You know, that that is the kind of thing that then tells your brain that we're doing well. But if you're kind of, you know, hunched over against the weather, walking slowly, listening to Tom Waits. Not that we don't love Tom Waits, but you get what I'm saying, that if you, if you are sending signals to your brain to kind of cave in on top of the winter thing, that's what's going to happen. And in fact, you know what? I think that that is why we celebrate Christmas. We can talk about Christmas later, but that's the great thing about Christmas is it kind of reminds us that we can be sparky and alive and lively. But to keep on this theme of like our physical body in winter, it's really important that we prepare for that. So I sent out to all my regular clients this week a list of things to do to get your body ready for winter. That includes things like massages. More than what? Like have a massage booked in once a month if that's available to you. If not, have, you know, maybe buy a second hand massage chair or something if you like to go for a particular treatment. Like, you know, really, really good thing to go for coming into winter is a colonic. I know this is not the most pleasant thing to talk about, but they're actually fine to have and the great thing is that that then wakes up your gut. It wakes up your entire system, your entire digestive system for making sure that the food that you're eating is getting really well digested and that you're really, really well also. Don't me, as the kids say, I'm a big believer in vaccinations and went and got my flu jab. Because anytime I haven't got a flu jab, I've been sick three or four times. And I just don't like that. I don't like being taken out in that way every time I've got it. Like this year, no sickness, I got. You made me get the flu jab. And I marched her into boots. Oh, I hate getting jabs done. Absolutely hate them. Because all the ones that you get when you're younger are the painful ones. You get your tetanus, meningitis, hpv, all three of them hurt. And that's what you. But you have to get them. Do you get them? I am a strong believer in vaccinations, but I remember we just sat down in the boots office. I just instantly, like, took my shirt off in front of everyone. Bit too soon, but I just, like, just do it, Just do it. I remember just going, just get it over with. And then. And then when it was done, you were like, oh, yeah, it was literally, that was the sound you made. And it was just like, is that. Is that all there is? And it was just so painless. I was ready for, like, just sheer pain for it to go up my arm, up my neck, stuff like, no, not at all. No pain. And the interesting thing is that a lot of people presume that those of us who are pro vaccination, that we haven't done our research. I have done my. I do my research on everything. I'm always willing to be wrong. I'm always willing to say, oh, you know what? I used to think this and now I've read that research and this. But I tell you, I mean, just even looking at physical results, we've got to remember that there are some people who, because their immune systems are compromised, they can't get a vaccination. So is there, you know, is there someone. There will be someone in your community who, you know, can't get a vaccination either because they are a very small baby or because they have an illness or because, you know, for whatever reason, they can't. Maybe it's just that they can't afford it or they don't have time to go get it. So the thing is that when you're vaccinated, you're protecting them. And we've got to remember that people who have weakened immune systems, they can die from something like the flu. So if you won't do it for you, do it for yourself, do it for the people you're going to be passing by on the street. My mother was a gp, God rest her, and she would. I worked in her practice when I was a kid, like when I was a teenager, from when I was 10 right through to when I was 30 was the last time I did a Saturday morning stint for her. But I remember that we would always book in flu vaccinations differently from other appointments. So I always knew who was coming in for a flu vaccination because it was always faster. We had to make sure that we had the stock and so on. And so I knew who had got the flu vac and I noticed that those were the people who just weren't sick during the winter. The ones who didn't get the flu vaccinations were the ones that were coming in again and again and again. And it really is. It really is that simple. It really is. Now, I know that, you know, there are lots of people who say, you know, well, this person got this vaccination and, you know. But we're talking about adults now getting a flu vaccination. Get it done. Just look after yourself, look after yourself. And they're. And they're very cheap. It's kind of under £15, no matter where you go. And if you have particular conditions, the nhs, I think you can get it free on the NHS here in the uk and you probably, in your country, have something that is very similar to that. So let's get off the specifics of vaccines and move on to just general healthcare for yourself going into winter. Because if you think about it, the time that we really go and work out our bodies and get strong, and the times when we eat loads of vegetables and loads of salads, is the summertime when we don't need it quite so much. But we're thinking more about the beach body instead. I'd like you to think about, like, your winter hibernation body. Think of yourself like an animal, like if an animal is, you know, settling in for winter, even if they don't sleep. Hibernation is probably not the right term, because hibernation is actual sleeping. But there are lots of animals who do life differently in the winter without sleeping. A squirrel is one of them. To get back to the pecan nut Theme. But what we can do is we can say to ourselves, right, if I just take this week and I do one thing a day, you know, or maybe schedule it for next week that you just get in to, maybe you get into work half an hour early and if you're in an urban area, then you can go and you can get maybe an eye test done, maybe you can go into the doctor and get some blood work done, maybe you can go for a colonic, go for some Reiki or massage, whatever it is that, you know, will put you into a much, much stronger place going into the winter. Start a habit of, you know, because a lot of people, oh my goodness, this whole pumpkin latte nonsense, spice pumpkin latte. I know that there's a good part to it where people are looking forward to it and it's kind of a tradition. That's the upside. The downside is your body doesn't like it, your brain doesn't like it, your dreams don't like it, right? So instead of spending money and effort and you know, really make it harder for you to get to your dreams with a pumpkin spice latte instead, why not say to yourself, I'm going to make my habit now? Green juice. There are so many, like really good high street juicers now. The ones that juice always make sure when you walk into a juice place, walk into any kind of juice bar, that they are juicing right in front of you and that it's not mostly apples and oranges like you. You want to see, you know, cucumbers, avocado. Avocado obviously is blended in. You don't juice an avocado. That would, that would take a very long time. That'd be a very long day. But, you know, make sure that you've got things like kale and just all the green stuff. And a lot of people say, oh, it tastes awful. Not really the point, right? There are things that we have to do as grown ups that, you know, we can do, like getting used to the taste of green juice. Now if I have a juice and it's got anything in it that is really sweet, like mango or something, I can't drink it, it's too sweet because my taste buds have adjusted. So get into the habit of having a green juice every single morning and then you can have your, you know, a while later you can have your nice cup of tea and you know, nice green tea, white tea, something beautiful. And before that you can completely take care of your body. So just becoming more aware of what am I doing in my day, not just living according to the way society is living, saying, oh yeah, pumpkin spice latte, let's go do that instead saying, oh, you know what? My body doesn't need that coming into winter. My body needs green juice. My body needs as much nutrient energy as possible. That's what nutrient energy. Two slightly different things, but, but as much nutrient care as possible. Let's get that going. Let's get that going on. So this week, this is everybody's challenge. This week is to every single day do something like go for a particular procedure, partake in a particular service that will help your body or change into a great particular habit. Like starting to have green juice. Maybe for you it will be, you know, starting having a salad, a little salad before you have your, before you have your kind of like warm, cozy meal. Yeah, I get it. I get the warm, cozy. But let's be really, really smart about this and let's start to make sure right now that this is a strong winter, that this, this is the winter. Freedom. Freedom from all the things that make life less. Freedom from anything that stops your dream. Welcome to women's radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on women's radio station. Hello and welcome to future classic women awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on women's radio station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. 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At Nurturing Birth we offer approved doula training courses across the UK which are facilitated by an award winning doula. Here you will learn more about the support you can offer, explore the doula role and think about how to set up your business. No need for previous qualifications. Find out more at nurturingbirth.co.uk. You're listening to Women's Radio stations supporting women's well being. Women's Radio Station's creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter @WomensRadio station. That's Women's Radio STN or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs. Welcome back to Judy Mae Is Listening. This is Judy Mae Murphy. You're listening to Women's Radio Station. I didn't know which way I was going to do it. I was going to do WRS or Women's Radio Station first, but now you know where you are. We're here supporting women's well being and I'm here in studio with a wonderful team and including Elspeth Proudlock. Elspeth, what you doing for Christmas? I'm gonna go home, I think. I never really have any fancy plans. I always just go back home to Cheltenham with my family. I am so glad you said that. I did trip you up a little bit because it does seem like it's a little bit early for thinking about what you're gonna do for Christmas. But if you leave it until you are emotionally involved to make the plans, if you leave it till too close then you end up usually in some kind of default thing which is like I usually go home, as you said there, I usually go home and you might choose that. But what I want Is I want for everybody to be choosing the way their holiday period is going to be, whether it's Christmas or other holidays that you celebrate, or even if you're just kind of getting involved in that kind of madness that kicks in in most countries around the end of December. So what I used to do was I used to do the default thing, and I used to really sacrifice myself at Christmas. And then one year I decided that I wasn't going to just cook for everybody all the time. I used to do this thing where I would spend a day planning, a day shopping, and then the whole of Christmas Day. I'm not kidding, from 6 in the morning until midnight, I would be making the most amazing breakfasts, buffet lunches, Christmas dinner, and then, you know, packing up all of the different leftovers and working out what they could be made into over the next few days. I did that for about 20 years, and I would feel really resentful, but I felt that that was somehow my role. But then when I decided that I was going to do it differently, I gave myself a lot of time. I actually said it to my family in the summer that I wasn't going to be making Christmas dinner this year. And their response amazed me. Most of them said, not most of them. Some of them said, and these are the ones that you remember. So it feels like most of them, they said, oh, I don't really like Christmas food anyway. And I just thought, wow, there is me thinking I was doing something lovely for everybody, but really I was just doing it for myself, for my own sense of my importance, my usefulness, my role within the family, if such a thing needs to exist. And I started then to think, what would be better, what would I prefer for Christmas? And what I came up with was I'd always wanted to do the Christmas swim. Now, in Ireland, it's a huge tradition where people go and swim in the sea on Christmas Day. What I didn't know is that you'll have about maybe 80 people show up on a particular beach or in a particular port or harbor to swim, and then you'll have hundreds of people standing around looking. Not ideal, but there you go. I'd much always rather be the person participating than the person just watching. So I felt pretty proud of myself when I showed up and I did it. And I just felt absolutely elated. Often we feel that our only options for Christmas are the ones that are shown to us that it's either what you've always done, or it's escape and go on a vacation, or it's to endlessly volunteer and do things for other people. What if there was more ways of doing Christmas? And what if you could right now start to design those better ways and ask yourself, you know, what is it about Christmas that doesn't work for you? And what's it about Christmas that does? And so what I started to do was to spend a little less time with my family of origin and so that when I was around them, I was really enjoying their company rather than this sort of just endless days and days and days of being in each other's company. Then eventually whatever has been bubbling since childhood explodes all over everything and everybody. And, you know, I think that's maybe why we need so much tinsel, to try and distract from all that angst that appears for many people. But we can start to design around that as well. What is it every year that really irks you? Is it that you have a particular family member who drinks a lot? That's not yours to control? But can you be in a different place? Can you maybe set things up differently so that they're not, you know, drinking alcohol really early on? Can you buy them some non alcoholic fancy beer and stick that in the fridge instead? Again, it is never, ever yours to control somebody else's addiction. But what can you do to just make your day a little bit better? Or. I remember one year I just took myself off to LA and just did Christmas Day on my own. I just literally said, what do I actually want to do today? And it was just a way of detoxing from the old ways of doing Christmas. I had a great day. I ate what I wanted, I watched what I wanted on tv. I was staying in a hotel room and they just had, like in America, I think here now I'm sure they have it as well. Like just endless channels. And I was able to watch some great Christmas movies, chat to my family and friends around the world on Skype and thought, that's okay, that's okay. It's okay to be on your own on Christmas Day. Now, I haven't been on my own since that Christmas Day was a really good reset. It was a really good way of saying, you know what I could have done with this, I could have done with actually being around my niece and nephew. I could have done with whatever it was. But there are amazing things out there for everybody this winter. Not just Christmas, but for New Year and also just lots of opportunities to do things that usually it's February and you go, oh, I didn't do that. Something like, you Know skating these ice skating rinks that pop up. How's your skating, Elspeth? Well, this. Yeah, me too. Tell us about it. I used to roller skate. I used to go to roller disco every Friday. Oh, well, then you're way ahead of me. But every time I ice skate, it's Bambi on ice. I am generally just not good. But I haven't ice skated since doing roller skating, so I don't know how my ice skating is, so I want to try it. So how about this? How about you and I, sometime over the next two weeks, we go to a proper, like, indoor rink? Sometime when it's quiet, sometime when we can't be too ridiculed by the general populace, and we do the Bambi on ice thing and we just do it anyway. This is when you're like Tanya Harding, just going out. Just. You reckon. You reckon within sort of about an hour, we can go from where we're at now to Tonya Harding. I'd like to try. Let's give it a go. And these are the things that become new memories. These are the things that then become part of your tradition. And we can build better traditions than the ones that we inherited. So, yes, Christmas is about tradition. Yes, Christmas is about togetherness, and it's about building that in a way that suits us rather than just, you know, tolerating and perpetuating what it was that we inherited. Same thing for Christmas food. Like, you know, as a kid, I turned vegetarian at the age of 16, but up until that point, you know, you just have your turkey and your ham and your spiced beef and all that. And now for the last. Gosh, I can't even tell you how long my Christmas tradition has been this incredible vegan pie, like this mushroom and lentil pie, which to me feels really meaty, and it's delicious, and I only have it on that day. And so it remains really, really special. So there's all these different things that we can design out that are incredible. Can you think of a thing, Elspeth, apart from going skating badly with me, that you have always wanted to do at Christmas but you've never done, or something that seems idyllic. So a bit like your Christmas swim. In where I'm from, the Lido, they have a Christmas swim. They open up the outdoor pool and everybody can go do a width. But I haven't done it since my brother did it and he almost froze to death. He was. He came out, he was shivering. We had to put him in a hot shower and everything. It was almost right, almost. But I'm too scared to do it. I'm always a bit like, oh, I just don't want to be really cold. But, like, when you got your flu jab, then it's over, right? Then it's over. And it's never as bad as we build it up in our lives. Flipping freezing. I would be so excited if you did that. If you did that. So do. How about just once? I'll do it. You'll do it? I'll do it. Fantastic. And then whenever we make a decision, we've always got to lock it in. So what are you going to do to lock it in? Are you going to give your brother a call and say, hey, we're doing this year, or. I don't think Hamish is ever gonna do it again. I have to tell my Barrett. Hamish probably hasn't warmed up yet. Hamish is going, no, never, ever again. He has refused to do it since. I might see if a friend's in Cheltenham and we'll do it together or I'll see if someone in my family wants to do it. Lovely. So right after this, I'm gonna make sure that Elspeth sends that text not to. Not to bully her, although that has been known, but just really to. You know, we've got to make sure anytime we have a really cool idea, anytime we have something that we want to do, that's when we got to lock it in. I called my niece over the weekend and said to her, you know, what is it that you'd like to do? And she amazed me because a few years ago when. So she lives in Paris with her family, and when we were doing Christmas, you know what, it actually was Christmas last year, I was also in Paris, and I've chosen Paris again this year. I didn't just wait till the last minute and go, oh, guess I'll go to Paris. I've chosen it. I really have a great time there. I've got lots of friends there, lots of family there, really love it. But I said to her, what would you like to do? And she remembered that last year, we had gone in and we had completely decluttered her bedroom, and she said, you know, can we do something with my bedroom again? Because it's got a bit cluttered again, like. Absolutely, yes. What a beautiful Christmas tradition. Just that. Just standing around with a great big black bag, getting rid of things that are no longer necessary, bringing them to the goodwill. These things count. It doesn't have to be all holly and ivy and mistletoe. Although those things are really, really great. So we'd love to hear from you about what it is that you are designing for this Christmas so that we can inspire other women. So please send it in. You can either just message me through any kind of social media that you find me on. So I'm on Twitter as udymaymurphy. I'm On Facebook again, JudyMayMurphy. Got two different pages, so join either one, send us a message, let us know what it is that you're planning for Christmas. Also, you can reach out to me and especially if you have an idea for a show or particular challenge, particular problem going on that you would like for us to tackle here, send it to infoudymay tv. We never say your full name. We never give out any details about you. We just love you for being vulnerable enough to let us know that there's something that you want to transform. We get excited about being part of that transformation with you. And that's what's so great about gathering here on this show every single week. By the way, if you miss it live ever, you can catch up with replays. The replays happen at midnight and 12 noon every single day for the rest of the week so that you can always get that little boost. Just have it playing in the happy playing in the background. And just remember that you can transform everything. This winter can be absolutely extraordinary and that you can have a very different experience if you haven't had good experiences of winter. And you know what, if you do have good experiences of winter, normally you can make that even better and you can start to share it more with others. This is going to be awesome. So looking forward to gathering with you over the next three months. See you soon. Welcome to the Women's Radio Station Supporting Women's well Being Women's Radio Station is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education and most importantly, women's well being. We aim to celebrate the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and the platform for your voice. Visit our website womensradiostation.com for more information. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? Do you wish you could save more money or are you hoping you have enough for retirement? You are not alone. Many women want to be smarter with their cash but just don't know where to start. @empowerandenrich.org you will find a host of options to help you take charge of your finances and learn how to put your money to work for you in an easy, affordable way. Get in touch with me@empowerandenrich.org and let the change your future together. Do you want to be a Doula? Would you like to support families through pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period? Do you have qualities of compassion, listening, caring and empowering? At Nurturing Birth we offer approved doula training courses across the UK which are facilitated by an award winning doula. Here you will learn more about the support you can offer, explore the doula role and think about how to set up your business. No need for previous qualifications. Find out more at nurturingbirth.co.uk. hi, I'm Carolyn Van Beers. Please join me for a brand new show here on women's radio station. It's Mother's Hour. 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