Judymay is Listening LIVE – Episode 1

Welcome to Judy Mayer's Listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life, and I listen and together we transform everything. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the women's radio station. We are the voice of women worldwide. This is a historic moment because this is the very first show where we are broadcasting live from our gorgeous little home here in Covent Garden in central London. But we are very much an international tribe of women coming together to share experiences and just make our lives even more extraordinary. And today, later on, I have coming up, an extraordinary guest, someone who I am just so delighted to introduce to you, Gloria Garcia. And you're going to be finding out what it's like to live the life of what I see as just pretty much being one of Charlie's Angels. Plus, that's, that's the. That's the best way I can describe it to you. And I'm going to be finding out all her stories and how it is that she can help, help us to change our experience of being on this planet. Because very often we feel like we're a little bit alone in making our lives the way we know it can be. We feel like there's a gap between what's available to us and what we've actually achieved, what it is that we're feeling now and what we know it's possible for us to feel. So on Judy Mae's Listening, it's all about me listening to what your experience is so that then I can invite in some new ideas, some new ways of thinking, some new people to put some new thinking around it so that we can make sure we're just moving forward, knowing that we're not alone in this, that we all have things that we're going through, that the whole point of life is that we are excelling, we are growing, we are making the most fabulous mistakes and getting the most fabulous positive results as well. So the very first person who's written something in, and by the way, because we're now live, you're going to be able to start to phone in and I'm going to be able to chat with you live. So if you'd like to do that, please, please do get in contact with us and we'll start that in motion over the next couple of weeks. But for now, I'm still taking your emails and letters, and so I've transcribed a couple of those that I think is pretty pertinent to what we're going to be talking about today. And this is from Kathleen in Donegal, in Ireland. And Kathleen Says my ex partner was emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive, but in ways when where it could be denied. So we all know what that feels like. Sometimes we feel like we're going through something. And are we kind of going crazy with this? Are we just misinterpreting our experience? So, Kathleen, first of all, you know, we hear you. We get it. Like, if this was your experience, then that matters. And we're with this. We're in this with you. And she says, I've been doing much better since I left, but I still don't feel safe. And that really is our word for today, safe. How is it that we as women can start to feel safe? Because very often we don't. The reality is, the physical reality is that our bodies are different. The physical reality is that our brains are constructed differently. So the way that we create safety isn't always through just a great big push forward and building our muscles and shouting the loudest. The ways that we create safety need necessarily to be different. Not less than, not a compromise, just different. So what Kathleen goes on to say is, I want to get into another relationship, but I'm scared that I won't meet someone I can trust. What should I do? And this is huge. How can we trust the world? How can we know that we're going to be all right when we know this through the Me Too movement? We know this just through speaking with our girlfriends and our colleagues that very often the world hasn't been safe for us. So how can we make sure that we're not just wrapping ourselves in cotton wool and staying home and keeping ourselves safe that way? How can we actually both create a life and be safe within that life? And so, Kathleen, the big phrase that jumped out for me was that you said, I'm scared that I won't meet someone I can trust. And the really great thing about that is that there's already someone you can trust with you all the time. And cliched as it may be, that's you. So already you know that you can trust you, that you now have resources, things that you're looking out for that maybe you didn't realize before were important to look out for, ways of thinking, ways of being, ways of standing up for yourself, phrases that you can use, things that you'll no longer tolerate, ways that you'll bring in people into the. Into the mix earlier, perhaps. And so we don't actually always need to be able to create a situation where everything is safe around us when we know that we can trust ourselves and that's huge when we're going out into a world where we don't know what's around the corner. And I'm so excited to get some extra input from Gloria about how do we deal with what's around the corner. How do we deal with things where there's just a great big question mark over them, Whether that is relation, relationships or business deals or physical safety or even navigating a dance floor in all different areas of our lives, when we know that we can trust ourselves to be able to react, to be able to make good decisions, then we can start to just have that basic level of safety. So, Kathleen, what I'd suggest to you is to get rid of this idea that you have to pre vet everything, that you have to wait until you're in a situation where you've got a hundred percent certainty that nothing could potentially harm you. Because very often, and this is something that Gloria knows way better than I do, very often, you know, you can be given false signals. So sometimes you can walk into a relationship feeling very, very safe. But in fact, you're with someone who's narcissistic and knows how to love bomb you, knows how to charm you, knows how to give you all those things that tell you all the things that you want to hear, maybe give you the gifts that you didn't get from the, from your ex or whatever it is for you that you felt was missing. And so you can have a feeling of safety, but you might not actually be safe. But again, when you know that once you realize that, ah, those were false signals and in fact, I'm not completely safe in this situation, I need to change something, then you'll be ready to do that. You won't be overriding those feelings anymore. Our next little note comes in a little email comes in from someone in South Carolina in the usa. So it's fantastic. Remember, no matter where you are on the planet, you are part of this tribe because the voice of women's radio station is about the voice of women worldwide. So please don't feel that just because we're based in the UK that this is a UK thing. And we really are encouraging as well people to contact us here at the station to let us know, you know, where is it you are listening in from and do you want to contribute? The team here that run the station are looking for women worldwide to contribute with news items about your part of the world with just anything that you're interested in so your actual voice can be on our radio station. So this is Something that we really want to encourage you to start seeing this as. As ours, not just something that you are passively listening to. Your voice counts in this. So this voice is from Donna in South Carolina in the usa. And Donna says, I go on Twitter a lot and follow people, people who are about women getting justice after being attacked or raped. So I think what Donna's talking about here is there are some people who, when they go on Twitter, they really have one focus. And. And the focus of a lot of the people that Donna is following is about making sure that if women are attacked or hurt in any way, that justice is both done and seen to be done, and that we don't have to kind of fall back into the old way of thinking, that somehow other people's behavior is ours to pretzel ourselves into something different because they won't behave well. So there's a lot of good things from these kinds of posts on Twitter and these kinds of sites that, you know, the conversation does need to be moved forward. But for Donna, it's creating a situation where she says, I think it's good. It's made me more aware about not being on my own with strangers when I've been drinking. But I feel like the world isn't a safe place now. This is also, when I think about politics and human rights, sometimes I feel like I'm going mad. Is the world just too crazy for us, especially us women, to even go outside? And this is something that a lot of men say, oh, you know, everyone's getting hysterical about the whole me Too movement without them realizing that we've always had these feelings. It's just that these feelings and these situations are now getting a platform. We've always spoken to each other about feeling unsafe, about things that happened to us, about things like double standards and. And now it's great that that is kind of coming to the forefront. And it can make us feel as if we are unsafe. There's more focus on the things that we were feeling and maybe then forgetting about or maybe strategically working around. Now we're actually having it to the forefront on something like Twitter. So a, if it gets too much and you need to focus on something else, focus on something else for a while. It doesn't have to be 247 in order for it to happen, in order for the breakthrough to happen. And the next thing then is to again realize that this is what we can do. We can make sure that we are knowing that not all situations are safe, but knowing that when we are unsafe, that we can start to tap into that feeling of, oh, you know what, something's just a little bit off here. And that's the first step. We're going to be talking you through a little model for looking at any time you want to create more safety in your life. But the thing I'm really excited about is that you are going to be meeting Gloria Garcia. The very first moment I knew her, I saw her, I knew that we were going to be friends. I just decided, okay, this woman is part of my tribe. She is just so ridiculously awesome. And she is largely about that single focus of how do we make sure that this person is safe? You will. If you are a Star wars fan, you might already know her. You might have a collector's card with her face on it. If you are from Chicago, you might have seen her pounding the beat when she was a police woman. So we're going to find out about how did she get from there to being an international bodyguard. And we all have ideas what that would be like and we've of sort much to learn from her. So let's just settle into knowing that as we adventure in this, we're going to be creating layers of just juicy, gorgeous safety which will enable us to move forward with our incredible adventures as women. Welcome to Women's Radio Station, the voice of women worldwide. Hungry an average woman eats about 2 to 3 kilos of lipstick in her lifetime. Women's Radio Station, we want to hear from you. This is Women's Radio Station. You're listening to Avril Price with Kitchen Sink Spirituality. It's Anna Kennedy talking all things autism and my welcome to women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Valentina Barbacci and I'm the executive director of Media Matters for Women. We're a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth on mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@mediamattersforwomen.org. Women's Radio Station is passionate about communication and we'd love any thoughts and feedback on our programs. Email presenterswensradiostation.com if there's a topic you'd like to hear about or want to contact your favourite presenter, do get in touch. WRS Women's Radio Station Voice of Women Worldwide Are you struggling with money? Turn to us. As a national charity, helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit. Turn to us. Let me tell you about Jermyn Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor. Welcome to Judy Mayer's Listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life, and I listen, and together we transform everything. So together, let's transform everything here on wrs, the women's radio station, Voice of women Worldwide. Welcome, welcome. This is the first live broadcast, so you are especially welcome in on the ground floor, as they say. And I'm very excited to introduce my first guest of this show. And it is an incredible woman who, just, for me, shows what it's possible to be in this world. And particularly when it comes to this feeling that we have as women of perhaps not feeling that we're as safe, that, you know, if only things were different, then we'd be able to just get a lot more done. We'd be able to go out on the street late at night. We'd be able to step forward without fear of being yelled at. We'd be able to get into relationships without being concerned the way Kathleen has been about, you know, getting into an abusive situation. So. Gloria. Gloria Garcia. Welcome. Hello. Thank you. Thank you. I love being here. I really appreciate it. Absolutely. So just describe to People what it is that you do. I see you as one of Charlie's Angels, just going and kicking butt and doing your acting stuff and doing your bodyguard stuff internationally. Yeah. How would you describe it? Well, I'm licensed close protection operative. So for all intensive terms, that is a bodyguard. So I've been doing that for a while now. I am an ex Chicago police officer, grew up in Cicero, Illinois, and that's a pretty tough part of town. Yeah, it was probably one of the poorest neighborhoods in Illinois. I always make a joke because I remember sitting in Mexico one day where my father was from, and he. He had People magazine in his hands and the front cover was literally, it was People of Time and it was the COVID of the neighborhood of Cicero. And it said the worst neighborhood to live in. So you grew up in the worst part of America. Well done. And you survived that? I survived that, yeah. It was all the. Well, that's from where Al Capone is from. So it's all within that neighborhood. It's all gangster stuff. All gangster stuff. And how did that, in those early years, how did that define your idea of safety? Did it make you naturally. I would imagine it would make you naturally quite aware of something about to jump out at you? Well, yeah, it always was that way. For the mere fact that the neighborhood was very fine, lined and boundaried based on. Based on what your race was. So you had the Polish, you had the Italians, you had the Mexicans and that type of thing. So from a very early age, I knew what streets to cross and not cross. You had to be very cautious, because if anybody did, you'd see it on the news the next day. So I understood from a very early age to be aware and have just. And learn the common sense to get through just walking to school in the morning. So it was a bitit was very different, I think, for me than a lot of the kids, once I got to maybe high school with, who had grown up in, you know, the very prestigious neighborhoods and didn't really have to worry about that. So kind of my eyes and ears tend to lean towards most thoughts that probably most human beings don't think of every day. I know, because I certainly. I grew up in an area where I had the luxury of, you know, just walking past embassies that had already had guards outside. I never once had to think about my own safety walking to and from school. Yeah, so, yeah, it's very different for everybody. So how did that then lead to you becoming a police officer? Well, what happened was I had a traumatic event happen to me when I was. Someone had tried to kidnap me around the corner from my house. And I think it was after that that I just had a very clear direction. It was either going to be something in law. Criminal lawyer kind of was what I really wanted to be. But yet, when it came to a certain age, I needed a job because I came from a very poor family. So I needed a job to get me through school and everything else. And so the sheriff's department and the FBI both had openings, and they wanted minorities. So being half Latina and being a woman, they were very interested in me. And I ended up in the sheriff's department first, and I loved it. So I never went on to go to a criminal law Degree. I have my business degree, but I never went on to do that because I just loved working within Cook County. So I was a Cook county sheriff. I worked mostly in the prison system. So I was in the RTU division, which is kind of the psych ward for men, for prisoners. So I was in charge of about 42 to 45 officers at any given time, and then about 4 to 600 inmates. So how do you create safety for yourself in that situation where you're a pretty, beautiful young woman walking into a prison, the toughest of the tough, the most disordered of the disordered, and you need to be able to show up for work every day without losing it? What was your mindset? What were the physical practices that you had going on to make that doable for yourself? I think the mindset is always be bold. I think it's really interesting. I've just started reading this book, a short book called Cost of Living. And the beginning of it is literally a man and a woman, and they don't know each other. And the man invites the women over to the table, and she starts to tell him a story. And there is an interesting phrase in there that says, he didn't know at the time, but he was becoming the more minor character and she was becoming the major character, where he thought he was always going to be the major character and her the minor. And I think as females, once we set the precedence or the idea in our head that no, we can become that major character, it changes your mentality on what you do, on. On a physical level, on an emotional level, and all the above. And I think when I walked into work every day, I was always aware of that, and I was always aware of the fact that I could change my Persona. I could change how people viewed me as not the petite Latina who was the girl, but as somebody who would really be so something and someone to reckon with. So once you change that within yourself and you think, I can be that major character, and nobody has to tell me any other things of what you are and who you are, or they have this Persona of you. Once you change that within yourself, it just resonates. And people see that. And then people don't screw around with you. And I noticed that quite a bit. Otherwise I wouldn't have stayed there for so long. And as I imagine, it also changes the kind of phrases that come out of your mouth, because as women, we're so used to deferring, and we sort of politely step back a little bit to allow somebody else to take platform for a while, and we think then that that platform is going to be given back to us and it's somehow going to be equal. What I hear you saying is don't rely on it being equal, but just you take it. And if somebody needs to push back, then there's no need for us to step back. I don't believe that there's no need for us ever to step back. You know, in regards to what Kathleen was saying about trusting people, I think it's intuitive. I think it's instinct. I think with every situation that we're in that you take things from it, you learn from it, and hopefully you have more common sense the next time around. And I think common sense is a very interesting phrase because a lot of people don't have common sense. Not that common. It's not that common. So I think it's more intuition of when you know how to trust someone and what level you will go to to trust someone. But I think if you don't give yourself the chance as a female, you are losing out on the next potential best thing. In her case, she could be losing out on the best relationship that comes her way if she's not going to be trusting of someone based on past experience. And I love this idea that why is it that we don't engage common sense? And I think that we're kind of maybe trained out of it, that when we do something that makes sense and is a thing to do that maybe culturally it's frowned upon. So it makes sense if there's only, say you're a kid and you're eating like there's a plate full of fish fingers and there's one left and you want it and you lean forward and you go for that. You know, as a boy, you're expected to go for the last fish finger. But as a girl, it's kind of just like, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? So we're constantly getting these messages that even though it's the thing to do to look after ourselves, that somehow it's not okay to look after ourselves. Somehow we gotta look after everybody else first. Right. I think that what happens is it's not even over looking after ourselves. I think one of the main issues is we don't trust ourselves. We don't trust our own opinions. We don't trust our own intuitions. We don't trust. I think we're always looking for someone else to answer or to okay it or go. Yeah, that's right. Just like the other young lady. Yes. Donna. Donna with Regards to, like, going on Twitter pages, I can listen. I'm a big, huge supporter of being on these forums that they go ahead, they support each other as women. But there's a time when that voice becomes way too much, and you're never trusting your own instinct. And the one thing in my business and being a bodyguard, you have to trust your instinct. Because at that moment, when I'm taking care of a principal, there is no one else telling me, or there's no one I could text or call to go help me out here. What do I need to do with this person? It's all I have to do it. I'm the only person there taking care of that individual. And I think if we start to think that way with kind of this weird shifted bodyguard mentality of taking care of yourself and securing yourself, then everything else falls into place. I love that idea. The idea that we've got to become our own bodyguards, that we've got to be the. What you call the principal, the main person, that we're just kind of like, right, I'm going to just look after this, because is it about, you know, I think. I think we do as well is we try to take care of everybody. But I'm guessing from what you're saying that there's a time for just pure focus on the one person. And if you're being your own bodyguard, that one person you need to look after is you. You have to look after yourself. You come first. You are the priority. Otherwise, you're gonna be completely exhausted by the time you even try to help somebody else out. We're not there to be there for everybody. We're there to be there for ourselves. If we make ourselves better, we make the world better. I don't think we could do the opposite first, because at that point, then we. We've lost ourselves. We have no idea who we are as a person anymore. And it is tougher as kind of a female counterpart, I would say. Absolutely. Well, we're gonna have Gloria here with us for the rest of the show. So I've got loads more questions, and we're gonna be learning even more about how it is that we can be our own bodyguard. Oh, my gosh. I'm gonna make that into a T shirt. And how we can look after ourselves and so that we're not only actually safe in the world, but we're also feeling safe. And then that will free us up to do all these absolutely extraordinary things. So here on WRS women's radio station, the voice of women worldwide. I'd like to invite you back. I am listening to what's going on for you. It's a shared experience for all of us. Very excited to be moving forward with these live broadcasts. The next live broadcast is going to be at 2 o' clock British time today with Love Lessons. So please do join us live for that. A really great host there, but back very soon with Gloria. Welcome to Women's Radio Station, the voice of women worldwide. Hungry? An average woman eats about 2 to 3 kilos of lipstick in her lifetime. Women's Radio Station, we want to hear from you. This is Women's Radio Station. You're listening to Avril Price with Kitchen Sinks Spirituality. It's Anna Kennedy talking all things autism. And my guest today is Karen Nunn. I listen to Women's Radio station Women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Valentina Barbacci and I'm the Executive Director of Media Matters for Women. We're a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth and mobile phones, focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@mediamattersforwomen.org. Women's Radio Station is passionate about communication and we'd love any thoughts and feedback feedback on our programs. Email presentersomensradiostation.com if there's a topic you'd like to hear about or want to contact your favourite presenter, do get in touch. WRS Women's Radio Station, Voice of Women Worldwide. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship, or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntous.org.uk Let me tell you about German Street Food Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www. Women's Radio Station. Is a not for profit, community interest company. Supporting women is our passion. We're currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive. To donate, simply head to our website. Every little will have. Welcome to Judy May is listening. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life and I listen. And together we transform everything. And today here in studio, we are transforming everything with Gloria Garcia, bodyguard, stuntwoman, actress, just like the superhero that you always wanted to be. When I see women like Angelina Jolie in wanted and I'm just kind of like, oh, I would love to be able to find, fight like that and look like that. And then suddenly Gloria walks in and says, like, oh, okay, it's doable. We can all do that. We can all be that. So together, let's, you know, be inspired on every level and do the. All the transformations. So when you were going from being a police officer to being a bodyguard, did you have to learn some new skills? Were there things that you were just picking up along the way? What would be some things that we could, in a practical way, start to use in our lives to get that feeling of safety? Well, I think you always just need to start off with the physical training. So I mean, that's either just walking, running in the morning, doing types of yoga. I studied Shaolin kung fu with someone who is based in south beach, and when he was in Chicago, neighborhood guy, I studied that. But I know that in this world, it's kind of where the martial arts, they work, but they really don't work in our world. Because if you're gonna do the whole Jackie Chan, you know, kung fu stuff, that means you're pretty far away from the person and you don't really want to get in a fight at that point. But if somebody's up close to you, it's a big difference. You just have to be. You have to be quick. So that's really interesting because that translates to, like, conversationally as well, that very often we're learning, you know, what's the best way to diffuse tension in a conversation, or what's the way to have the best conversation. But suddenly when you get a red flag, when you get a signal of this person is toxic, this person's not safe, this person's not on my side, you suddenly have to forget about being polite, and you've got to just close that down. So it sounds as if you're saying the same thing in a physical way. Yeah. And I think, oddly enough, I think women, we don't Ingratiate ourselves enough to say that most of the time, we are the ones who can diffuse the situation. And what I mean by that is, you know, again, even just in the plain security world, outside of the bodyguard stuff, it's. I always see, like, the big burly men, and I think people have this idea of, like, the bodyguard who's, like this big guy. And a lot of times it seems that on the other side, they can maybe agitate the situation because people are so nervous, so scared, and so people make a wrong, abrupt move. When you're a female, I think we have this kind of part of us that we are a bit softer, but in a positive way. We need to start looking at it as a positive thing and not a negative thing, because we are able to make a situation powerfully disarming. We are. And, you know, when we're not, and when, you know, there are women that are in abusive situations, abusive relationships and that type of thing, you still need to make your stand, but you have to be smart. And if it's the best thing to leave that room, walk away from that situation, then that is always the suggestion I give. You know, I can easily say, oh, well, do that. You know, punch him there, kick him there, do that. But it's based on the situation. And I think in my world, too, it's an adrenaline rush that comes. So a lot of times it is, again, that intuition of knowing where to attack someone back where you have the moments to leave or run. It's like the basic common tip that I would always give if you're walking from your house to your car or vice versa. Keep your house keys in your hand, and you keep your keys pointed up. You keep them in your fist so that when you're walking, if something happens, you have that. You have that ability to just jab someone in two seconds. You can become Wolverine just with your house keys. You can. I mean, and I was told, you know, I remember there was a gentleman who was, you know, five times my size. And I always asked my commander back then and even now my bodyguard trainer now, who, you know, I always said, well, what do I do there? Because he's massive. Like, how do I. You know? And it's the same thing. You kick someone in their shin. It doesn't matter how big you are. If I kick you in your shin directly, it hurts. It hurts. I actually have a little bit of training in cage fighting, and that's the thing. The only thing you never forget are your shin guards, because that really hurts. It's the simplest, the most simple things, you know, just going after their eyes. If you distraught somebody's eyesight, then, you know, or one eye, it's, it's just quick, quick movements that even the littlest female could do. What happens if women go into freeze mode? Because very often if we're not used to our bodies being conditioned to move and to push back, then we can kind of just sort of freeze as a protective thing. Is there anything we can do if that's the tendency? Would you suggest maybe training so that we can uncondition that? Yeah, I just think a big part of it is we need to offer ourselves the time for ourselves to take care of ourselves. And a part of that as women who get older, we just need to go in and get some physical training. I'm a big believer in that. It's the big, you know, it's the new year now. People need to go in, women need to go in. We, we need to train ourselves. We need to eat right, we need to take classes that we love passionately. And those are things that we can change and we can actually use those things in order to protect ourselves and feel safe. And I don't know about you, but when I do any type of physical training, my whole mentality changes. I feel stronger, I feel more vibrant, I feel more in control of my life. And I know it sounds mundane, but it is the truth. If you just get up and you just go for a run, if you just go to yoga, if you just go do something, you have this tendency to change your mentality where you start to trust yourself more. And again, it's always the biggest thing is we have to trust ourselves, then we can trust, then we'll learn to trust people. And if Kathleen doesn't feel she's at the moment where she wants to trust somebody right now, then I would continue for her to just grow on our own and keep in that physical mindset of going, okay, I'm going to take care of myself first. And that will come. Those doors open inevitably. I love that as an idea of radical self care because very often we're encouraged to take care of ourselves as women, but it's often only in the area of have a bubble bath, take some time for yourself. But actually challenging yourself and growing yourself as a self care option is just phenomenal. That that's important. It's not something even that's optional, but it's kind of the part of self care that's as important as getting great sleep, eating right, being around great people and that when you get that right, then you don't have to be afraid of what might come around the corner because you know that whatever it is, you're more than able to deal with it. Yeah. And we are more than able. I think we're much more capable than we think we are. And that always surprises me because sometimes I'll meet somebody who I think is a really strong individual and you go, oh, my gosh, they're not. What's happened? Like, what do they not think about themselves that I see that they're not seeing? You know, going back to the taking care of ourselves. I always find it hilarious that, like, when people talk about women taking care of ourselves, they're always like, oh, frou frou, go get your hair done, Go get your nails done. And I'm here to say, no, you have to do something a little harder, a little. Something bigger, a little. Something better. And you and I are totally about getting the nails done. Totally. It's the one thing that makes me feel female, is that. But I think that that is. That's the biggest thing. And again, it is a new year. And I think we always have to challenge ourselves. You know, there's never. We should never stunt our growth. I mean, it wasn't until later in my years that I went to drama school. So, you know, and I did that. And so I'm, you know, I'm a trained actor for all intents and purposes in a school that is within London. And to me, that's very exciting. It was a challenge. It was very difficult. And, you know, my family sacrificed a lot. I sacrificed a lot. But, my God, the feeling on the other end, when you come out of it, there is nothing that we cannot do as women, but women need to support each other, but not naively. We can't all get on the boat. I understand the me too stuff completely, but there's a point in time when we have to sit solo and go, okay, this is what I can do. This is what I can't do. This is what I'm capable of. I need to start challenging myself and I need to stop listening to everybody's critique, everybody's opinion and everything else. Because if that's the case, you. You won't do anything. You won't move. Men are great at self. Like, not even self preservation, but they're great at being able to. Not having to ask everybody else's opinions on every single thing they do. We need to be more like that. Yeah. Because there's a point at which it becomes something that Starts out as great, becomes debilitating, and we go into this sort of paralysis of analysis thing. Whereas really it's kind of like, okay, I have my information, I have my opinions. Now it's on me. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. And we're gonna be asking you after the break all about your amazing experience on Star wars, which I only found out about this this morning. I just, I think this is so extraordinary. But just to finish on just a really quick question, and that is, what is the one mistake that you see particularly women making when it comes to staying physically safe? Staying physically safe? God, I would say that they just. They're just not aware. They just need to be more aware. I think if you are understanding at all times your surroundings, then you know, at any given point, any given second, what could possibly happen. But if you walk into a room or walk into a space or you're crossing the street, you just have to always be aware of what's around you. And it's not about being over obsessed with going, oh my God, who's there? Like I do, Just because it's in my training, but it's just being aware. I always find that people aren't aware of. They have no spatial awareness. I think we need to have more spatial awareness and understand what's around us. And then we could be prepared for kind of anything that's coming our way. And smart. We can be vigilant without being. Hyper vigilant. Exactly. Into some kind of like almost psychosis where we're waiting for something to jump out, but we're just knowing where we are so that if something is coming along, we don't need those extra few seconds to. Got it. Exactly. Exactly. Okay. Phenomenal. Great. Well, I can't wait till after the break. We're going to be finding out all about Star wars and Beautiful Story. You guys are going to just love this. Ladies, just hold onto your hats. And also finding out more ways that we can stay safe so that we can continue to be there for ourselves and then ultimately for each other. So, yeah, we've got that to look forward to here on wrs. Welcome to women's radio station, the voice of women worldwide. Hungry. An average woman eats about 2 to 3 kilos of lipstick in her lifetime. Women's radio station, we want to hear from you. This is women's radio station. You're listening to Avril Price with Kitchen sink spirituality. It's Anna Kennedy talking all things autism. And my guest today is Karen Nunn. I listen to women's radio station Women. The possibilities are Endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Valentina Barbacci and I'm the Executive Director of Media Matters for Women. We're a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo and we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth on mobile phones, focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@media mattersforwomen.org. Women's Radio Station is passionate about communication and we'd love any thoughts and feedback on our programs. Email presentersomensradiostation.com if there's a topic you'd like to hear about or want to contact your favourite presenter, do get in touch. WRS women's radio station, Voice of women Worldwide. Are you struggling with money? Turn to us. As a national charity, helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help visit turntous.org.uk Let me tell you about Jermyn Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.jermynstreettheatre.co.uk Women's radio station is a not for profit, community interest company. Supporting women is our passion. We're currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive. To donate, simply head to our website. Every little will help. Welcome. Welcome to Judy Mayer's list. This is the show where you tell me what's happening in your life and I listen and together we transform everything. And welcome back to Judy Mayes Listening, broadcasting live at WRS here in Covent Garden, London, speaking to women worldwide. Because we are the voice of women worldwide here on Women's Radio Station and we are particularly delighted to have the voice of Gloria Garcia, who is a bodyguard, actress, just hero. She's just amazing. The way she goes through life is just completely extraordinary. One thing that we were just chatting about a Little bit in the break is, you know, it's all well and good. When you have some ideas about, okay, you know what? I can be safe. But what if you need a model, a way that you can remember to be safe and for me, and you can let me know if this is something that gels with what you do, that what safety is? Safety is a feeling based on a situation. It's kind of a knowing. It's either a knowing or a doubting. And that shows up as a feeling, a physical feeling in your body. And the very first thing we got to do is we got to trust that physical feeling. So that's A, trust the feeling. B, then do the thinking. You know, check in. Is that feeling something I can rely on, or does it need to be overridden, or do I need more information? And then the next thing then, is we either decide that we are okay and it's safe and we just proceed, or we can adjust either our mentality or the situation if and when needed. And that's something that we can do all the time. And if sometimes you need to just, you know, back off a little bit to work it out, just take that moment, take that beat. Because often we feel like we're supposed to somehow know or we can't offend people. I'm really great at saying to people, you know what? Let me think about that. Or even if I'm in a physical situation and I'm just not sure what's going on, is it just that these people are drunk? Because I don't drink at all. So when I'm around people who are drunk, sometimes I'm a little bit like, is this okay? Is this safe? Because I'm doing something else here. I'll just go somewhere else and have a feel about it and then have a think about it and then come back in with or not come back in based on. Based on my decision. And I think sometimes we're so keen to not offend that we don't take that time or that physical distance that we need for ourselves, that stepping back physically from somebody or stepping out of the room or asking them more questions. Is that something that you found in your work? Yeah. I think that people sometimes expect you to answer or react right away. And I think what I've learned, again, being in this world as a close protection operative, is literally where there are moments that, of course, you have to react very fast. So when you talk about the trust, thinking it through and then making the decision, that gets paced up about 100%. So there are those moments that, that happens, but outside of that, if you're looking at a long term relationship, if you're in a situation, then yeah, you do have the adequate time to think about where is it I want to go from here? What is it I want to do? And again, it's always with trusting your instincts, when you trust them from there, then nine out of 10, you actually can have more of a clarity. Even if you have to sit down and write things down, you have more of a clarity of where you want to go, where you want to take it, if you want to be there or not. But I think we owe it to ourselves to give ourselves the moment to have a chance to think about it and then respond without thinking automatically that we, you know, that we need to do that. Because again, that's us kind of worrying right away about the other person and not really taking into consideration how we feel. Yeah. And I think that I always say is if you get to a place where you're considering something and you don't know, then it's a no. Because that way that's how you keep yourself safe. If you don't know, then it's a no. So someone says to me, you know, do you want to do this? I'm like, oh, I don't know, not sure about that kind of appeals, kind of not. Or I'm kind of attracted to talking to this person. And kind of then if you don't know, then the way to keep yourself safe is just say it's no for now. Yeah. And I think it's all, it's gut. I think we've lost a lot of our gut. I don't know what's happened, but I know over the years, even throughout, you know, female conversations, friendships, where sometimes people, us as females, we've just, we've kind of just lost our gut instinct on things. And that's been trained out of us. I think it's been trained out of us. I think it's been where we're kind of always looking for the masculine party to be the answer and end all to everything, where that phase isn't happening anymore. We are changing. And I think, you know, we're more outspoken and we're doing work like I do now, where before you would have never thought of female bodyguards in certain things and situations, we are now getting to the platform where it's okay for us to do that and we're looked upon in a very good way instead of in a negative way. But I think going back to what you Were saying about thinking things through, you know, safety to me is being able to walk away from a situation and not being emotionally or physically hurt. And I think we need to think that way just on a big standard of being, you know, just the everyday safety. But as far as families, relationships, and all the above, too, or even a work situation, I think it's a matter of going, okay, how can I walk away and literally be happy about this? Uplifted and not. It's not drained me emotionally, mentally, or hurt me physical. Yeah. Oh, brilliant. That's just brilliant. Yeah. Because that really is. That's it. That's how we get to feeling good, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It absolutely is. And I think if we don't start thinking like that, then we can actually go into retraction mode and make ourselves small. We do. And there's no reason for that. Absolutely. Sometimes we feel like there's a reason, but there is no actual reason for that. And I love what you say as well about, you know, that these days we're not looking for either permission or affirmation from the masculine in order to find our worth and our path, but we're just trusting that, yeah, if we feel it and we want it and it's there for us, that we can just step in without having to check that it's okay with everybody. Yeah. And it's true. I mean, even going back to Donna and about being wondering, you know, is this world safe anymore? I mean, we can have conversations about that all day long, both on a relationship basis, a political basis, and all the above based on what's happening in the world on both sides of the pond. I'm American, so I see what's. But I'm living in the UK and you see what's happening and you go, okay, how are things politically going to affect me going forward? How do I stay safe within that realm? What is going to happen? And it could become daunting, but I think it's just kind of minute steps and we have to take it within ourselves and not all of a sudden go, oh, my God. It could become too overwhelming to just take care of the bits first that are pertinent to us, and then there'll be more of us available to for everybody else. Absolutely. There's something I really want to talk to you about, and I've been teasing everybody with it for the whole hour. And that is when you ended up in Star Wars. So tell us all about that. Star wars, the Force Awakens. I was an extra, and JJ Abrams who was the director, literally pulled some of the girls and said, okay, can you pick up a weapon? And so, of course, being firearm trained, I picked up the weapon, cocked it, pointed it right at him. And he literally said, you know, you look like you're gonna bleeping kill me. And I thought, oh, great, I'm fired now as an extra. Like, you know. Well, it was so much fun because being on Star wars set, you know, it's like the Stormtroopers, everything. I mean, in my era, it's like, oh my God, it was amazing. And so ended up as the feature shot. He pulled me aside, him and the costume director, Michael Kaplan. And then they kind of fixed me up, taunted me up, and then went ahead and gave me a massive, massive blaster, which I knew how to use. And yeah, I'm the one. The first girl on screen after 10 years, you know, in between the Star wars movies. And so I'm the one who's protecting Poe. So they call me the Jakku defender, Jakku villager or something. Anyway. And yeah, so I have a Topps card now, collector's card. It was the most bizarre situation. And ended up doing some conferences, which has been amazing because I've gotten to go to Scotland and everything in certain places. And I've met just incredible people who probably a lot of them did not know that I was a bodyguard because I'm very. I don't really say much about it, but I think what's really extraordinary about that is that now as women, we're getting these very strong images. Not just images of women being sort of like daunting with loud voices and being very inflexible, but women actually, you know, physically showing up. I loved Wonder Woman for that as well. You know, the scene with all the. The women running, women like Brooke Ence, I'm a big fan of hers. And just women who just have made themselves really strong, who have decided that that's going to be their experience. And I can probably tell that I decided to make myself strong with things like philosophy and psychology. And there's lots of different ways of doing it. But I really, really admire women who go in and do it to the ultimate in a physical way. And I believe that seeing women doing that again just gives that layer of safety for everybody. Just as the more extraordinary we are, other women can relax, saying, oh, I can create financial freedom for myself. I can create great adventures, I can create great relationships. So just showing up awesome is doing great things for the tribe of women worldwide. It's True. And we have to. I think there's a big. The biggest strength we have is our quiet strength. No need to yell, no need to scream, no need to trust me. I've gone through all that. There's just no need. There's no need to do that anymore. We have a quiet strength that no one can ever take away from us. And that is allowing us to do whatever we choose and whatever we want to do. And that is all that it's about. That is just so phenomenal. What would be just one takeaway that you would say to women that what was the big lesson that you learned about your safety in this world? Gosh. The big lesson, the big lesson again is just always use your instinct. Just trust your own heart, trust your own head, because it's only you dealing with it at the moment. And with that, then you'll be fine. You'll be fine. Oh, I love it. We're back to this idea of be your own bodyguard. Be your own bodyguard. Go out, train, get the information that you need, have the mindset that you need and know that you are safe. And you have the right to, to keep yourself safe. You do. Wonderful. Gloria Garcia, thank you so much for being our guest here today. Thanks so much for having me listening. And thank you so much to Kathleen from Donegal and also thank you to Donna from South Carolina. Please, you know, I am here. I am listening. Things that are important to you are important to all of us. So don't wait. Join us, send us messages. Also, be part of the whole women's radio Station tribe. At 2 o' clock today, you're going to be listening to Love Lessons. So we'll see you back then with another host. Until then, be awesome. Welcome to women's radio station, the voice of women worldwide. Hungry an average woman eats about 2 to 3 kilos of lipstick in her lifetime. Women's radio station, we want to hear from you. This is Women's radio station. You're listening to Avril Price with Kids. Kitchen Sink Spirituality. It's Anna Kennedy talking all things autism. And my guest today is Karen Nunn. I listen to women's radio station Women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Valentina Barbacci and I'm the executive director of Media Matters for Women. We're a registered charity operating in Sierra Leone and the Democratic Republic of Congo, and we produce and share podcasts via Bluetooth on mobile phones focusing specifically on women and girls excluded from information due to extreme poverty. We empower those living in rural areas with media that transforms how they access, own and share information. To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@mediamattersforwomen.org. Women's Radio Station is passionate about communication and we'd love any thoughts and feel feedback on our programmes. Email presenterswomensradiostation.com if there's a topic you'd like to hear about or want to contact your favourite presenter, do get in touch. WRS women's radio station Voice of Women Worldwide Are you struggling with money? Turn to us as a national charity, helping people struggling to make ends meet. Job loss, illness or bereavement can cause a real financial crisis. We give practical help to get people back on track. Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help visit turntous.org.uk Let me tell you about Jermyn Street Theatre. This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germanstreettheatre.co.uk Women's radio station is a not for profit, community interest company. Supporting women is our passion. We're currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive. To donate, simply head to our website ht. Every little will help.