Love Lessons – Body Confidence, Modern Dating Laid Bare

Hello, I'm Sarah Louise Rhine and welcome to Love Lessons Live. We're here in the studio in Covent Garden and today we're going to be talking about body, confidence and dating Laid bare. Welcome to the show. We talk about everything from dating, relationships, breakups and divorce, all the way to starting over again as a confident single. Today we're welcoming Gillian Myhill, the founder of Bare Dating, into the studio. We're going to be talking about Modern dating, Laid Bare and Body Conf. It's so exciting to have you in the studio, Gillian, and thank you for having me. We have also been joined by Alex, a co founder of Bear Dating. Unfortunately not by Phil the third co founder. But we'll be getting to grips with Bear Dating and the whole concept of your body, your rules, with two of the wonderful co founders. So welcome into the studio. First off, we'll be talking to Gillian and we're gonna get to grips with. With the idea of putting yourself out there 100%, I guess, and the impact that can have positively on your confidence and mental physical health, I guess. Yes, completely, I guess. Essentially the idea of the platform that we're trying to create is that you'll be able to have three independent sets of photos and three photos within each section. After you match with somebody and accept somebody's invitation to take things a bit further, you will be able to switch between the different sets of photos. Not all of your body will be revealed. You will be able to actually select almost like a sliding editing system on exactly how much of your body you wish to reveal. I think, you know, in doing this, we decided that, you know, part of our ethos was that we're hoping that as you bear yourself more physically, you'll bear yourself more emotionally as well and people will be able to bond over that. Very exciting. How did the co founders get together and realise there was a real niche and a real need for a bit more nudity? I think actually when we first came together, we discussed the fact that essentially everybody is doing this. Sexting is very common and currently there isn't necessarily a platform that allows you to do this, but allows you to do it in a respectful and safe place. So as far as I understand it then, obviously online dating has, as we know in the dating industry a reputation for a hookup culture. Is it that you are finding a way to normalize that or is it in fact the opposite, where you are creating a safer environment for something that's a bit underground? In some ways, I think it really can be considered both. It's very difficult to create a platform and say 100% exactly what the platform is going to be used for. I think, you know, there are any number of hookup sites where people end up meeting and getting married and vice versa. There are many sites that are specifically designed for more long term, serious relationships and people meet and just hook up on. So it's at the moment it's quite difficult to see exactly where and how our platform will essentially be used by people. But our hope is, I think essentially for both. How did the founders come together and realise that you had an alignment in finding the need? Or is it that there was an idea and then you all got together? Or was it that it was over a cup of tea or a glass of wine? How did it come about? Actually, I was the third person to join the party. Alex and Phil had met previously. Both of them come from backgrounds in the dating industry. Alex has an events based business and Philip has another dating service. They had met at a industry expo and after sort of talking, I think there was a definite belief that culture in particular, culture in this country is becoming a lot more lax, a lot more accepting of nudity. You know, we've seen shows like Naked beach and there's now actually a naked pub in London which is kind of remarkable. Is there? Yeah. Oh, that's exciting. Which is quite exciting. And you know, I think we read about it, you know, co Naked Working Place, which is also very exciting. So I think that there is a move towards normalizing nudity within the British culture. So the idea, I guess, is it your mission to normalize it? What is the mission statement of bear dating? I think actually our mission statement is your body, your rules. And essentially, as I said, I think we're hoping that, you know, in context of dating, the more that you bare yourself physically, the more that you'll bear emotionally and hopefully people will bond more deeply over that. So when I hear the, I guess the tagline, the mission statement, your body, your rules, as a female, I can't speak for the other gender or the other genders out there, is that I feel empowered by the statement itself. I feel in control, yes, completely. And I feel that I have a say in how I navigate dating as well as what I do with my body. And I guess that's my interpretation. What other interpretations have you had of that tagline out there? I think it's difficult because I understand exactly how the platform works and we're also trying to keep a lot under wraps on that side. So it's difficult to not Talk about every little detail of this, but that you're able to decide exactly how much of your body you reveal and at which stages. We're just trying to sort of empower women to be a bit more in control and mental to be in control. You don't necessarily have to. And also in that aspect, you need to actually bond with somebody. You're not necessarily going to see everything straight away. You're going to have to engage the person, hopefully by, you know, being 100% charming and witty and funny and engaging. And the more that you're engaging and the more charming you are, the more you're able to reveal to people. So I read online somewhere, perhaps an interview with you or a review of what you have said the app is going to be all about. And my understanding is that you can reveal it in six sections. Your body in six sections. And do you, as a user, how am I navigating that? Are you allowed to explain to us for the listeners who are thinking, well, I'd like to give that a go. I'd like to put myself full frontal out there? Well, yeah, completely. You know, I'm sure that there are going to be lots of people that are confident enough to be able to do that, and I hope that they. They feel that confidence. I think we moved away a little bit from the six sections in that essentially it'll work like a photo editing system where you set your parameters into how much you actually want to reveal. So per se, if you just want to show your eyes or your lips or your shoulders, you are able to do that on the platform. Oh, so you really do have full control of, I guess, your physical digital footprint of what you're putting out there. And I guess that's one end of the spectrum. And the other end of the spectrum will be you can reveal everything. You can reveal everything. What kind of question marks have you had about this app? Talk me through the interest so far. Actually, so far we've had quite a lot of interest, which is, you know, not that we're overly surprised, but as yet, actually we've done very little as far as advertising or marketing goes. Our advertising and marketing campaign doesn't necessarily start until August. We're looking at a September first week of September launch. So far we have an Instagram account and a Facebook account. We have a waiting list where you can sign up at Bear Dating. Bear Dating. And at the moment, I think we're pushing over 600 people on our waiting list. Surprising to us is that we've had a number of People sign up from Germany, from Italy and even Norway. So somehow people are hearing about this platform. Somehow. Oh my gosh, it's so exciting. And I guess that you're only just starting to reveal little bits about what the app entails itself and I guess as the idea of how entertaining it's going to be as well as the natural state of curiosity about the app. Well, it's all meant to be a bit of a tease, isn't it? Well, I can definitely see that when I was trying to do my research and I was like, well, I guess I'll just have to try and pull it out of them when they come into the studio. So do you think so far you, from what you can tell, that you have had more of an interest from females rather than males or vice versa or. I think so far we're at. There's a fairly common industry standard on dating sites that the numbers are roughly three to one male to women. So we're trying to sort of, there's quite a, quite a female, female perspective on when we're developing this platform to try to attract more women. We've got quite stringent security and looking into having government ID forms so that, you know, we're not going to have any fake profiles on our site, et cetera, and trying to protect everybody, but trying to empower women effectively. I guess there has to be for your business, for the app and for the uptake, some sort of code of ethics to operate and navigate the app by. What do you have in mind? As I said? Well, there are very few dating services actually online at the moment that do require any kind of government ID checks. And in doing this, firstly we make sure that everybody's of age, of legal, inconsentable age and also don't come from violent backgrounds which you can now cross check after the Claire's Law came into effect. So we'll be able to check that as well. On top of that, you know, standard complaint procedures. Any complaints will be seriously looked at by us, those people removed from our platform. If you could give us a quick fire round three top tips to joining Bear Dating when the app launches, what would they be? Well, first of all, sign our waiting list. At the Moment the first 5,000 women are going to get a free six month membership. Woohoo. Love that. Go to Bear Dating and sign up for our wait list. Secondly, be courageous, be courageous, put yourself out there. And thirdly, have fun, engage with people, strike a conversation up and see where you go. If you're, I guess, not feeling courageous. Do you think it would be a big, bold first step to join bear Dating? Absolutely. Also, as I said, you know, you're in complete control over how much of your body that you want to reveal. So I think in a lot of aspects you would feel more comfortable on our site than standard. I'm so excited to hear more. We're going to be talking about navigating the app, getting out there full frontal and we'll be talking with the other co founder Alex straight after the break. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and we're here live on Love Lessons. Welcome to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station supporting women's well being and we're talking all things autism women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Tracey Weedon of Brownhill Insurance Group. We are an award winning family run insurance broker covering a wide range of insurance products ranging from commercial lines to personal household, high net worth and fine art. 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Join us on Instagram and Twitter womensradio station, that's Women's Radio STN or Facebook women's radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs. Hello, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome back to Love Lessons Live. We're here in the studio with Bear Dating and we're talking about navigating the modern dating scene. Dating laid bare. Welcome to Alex. Hi, Sarah. Thank you very much indeed for inviting me and my colleague Gillian. So exciting to have you here. Very excited indeed. And so we've just been touching on the whole idea of your body, your rules and joining Bear Dating and what does it all mean and how, I guess the beginnings of it or how it works really. So I want to talk to you a little bit about navigating online dating in a way that let's just say, for example, I'm new to online dating and I'm a little bit nervous about myself, how I come across. I'm a little bit nervous about navigating online dating in general and I'm not feeling 100% confident in myself because I've never done it before. Let's say, what would you say to somebody like me in that situation? Because I, you know, have lots of clients who, you know, want to try online dating, but they're a bit nervous and helping them get ready to date, get ready to welcome love. How would you advise somebody like that? Sure, I think it's important that it's all about dipping your toes in first, lightly and not necessarily giving away too much information. Just something that captures people's imagination and really gets their hook, if that makes sense. So, for example, I mean, a lot of the dating apps these days are based on the main feature being the swipe or maybe the like. But in terms of actually building a profile that people want to look at, then it's about making Yourself interesting and making people aware of what you do, your activities, what makes you stand out. So I think really, I'd say to anyone who's entering the dating sector for the first time in terms of using dating apps is to make sure that they're comfortable. They just use one to start with, but they use one that's relevant to their interests. And there's so many dating apps out there now, there's obviously literally thousands. And depending on where you are in the world, then you have a niche for a specific interest or specific whichever way you slant in life. So it's all about making sure you're on the right app in the first instance, but also making sure that you give away in your profile so it makes yourself look colourful and descriptive about what you like the most and being sincere. Interesting. And absolutely, in a moment I'm going to jump over to the idea of putting other things out there other than your full self and what you physically look like. I want to quickly touch upon the idea that, you know, has been in the news, there's been lots of interesting and very topical documentaries about how social media and dating apps can sometimes be contributing factors to the way we think and feel about ourselves. What do you think Bear Dating is going to do positively and what do you think you can do to counteract the negativity around that subject? Well, I mean, I'm really looking forward to Bear dating. I mean, it's. The great thing about this platform is that you. It's not just based on a picture on of your face. It's the first thing that people now these days judge you on. When any other sort of the main dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, it's all about the face, it's looking at that and actually, you know, the conversation is actually more important now. You're not necessarily going to. You don't know really until you actually meet someone in person, if you've got that chemistry. But you can filter down people based on their conversation much more effectively. And the great thing about Bear is the fact that you do have to have the conversation before anything is revealed, which makes it great hook for obviously women in terms of actually getting to know the guy a bit more. But a great hook for the men in terms of actually, yes, you know, men are arguably more attractive to visuals, obviously women as well, but it gives them the ability to sort of look actually if I'm having a charming all the rest of it and I have a fun conversation, there might be a bit of playing around, but it depends on the person you speak to, because at the end of the day, each person, it's their body, their rules. Their body, their rules. And so when you built the app, was it built with females predominantly in mind to protect women and I guess the things that go on online? Or was it with the idea of the ratio that Gillian had mentioned before, the fact that it's three to. Was it one or two? Yeah, the industry standards, three to one. But in terms of the platform, it's very much both for both genders, really, because the bottom line, as well as an overarching theme, not just in the dating sector, but in other sectors, for example, banking, in terms of lifestyle, it's about real people as well, actually making sure you are engaging with real people. So we wanted to fundamentally change the foundation of how a dating platform is orchestrated, and that is basically that people are. They say they are through passports and driving licenses, and you will not be able to use the app in terms of messaging somebody, for example, unless you are who you say you are. So that eliminates a lot of the big factors, a lot of the big problems that many apps have and face. I guess from my understanding of being in the dating industry for a while, is that you are operating in the same way that offline matchmakers would work in terms of understanding who someone is and guaranteeing that they are who they say they are in doing those thorough checks. I guess that's quite a lot of manual labor, too. There's great software out there now in artificial intelligence that does eliminate that. But I think matchmakers have a role to play, as do dating apps and events as well. And I think in terms of the way that bear is the fundamentals of it, it's about that reassurance, that platform, that everyone is equally treated in terms of what's typically one would expect for each gender or whatever you're looking for. So, you know, you can. You are. It is clear that you are in terms of your searching, whether you're looking for some casual, respectful, fun, whether you're looking for something more serious or whether or not you're open to options. And everyone will have to select one of those. So actually, it makes it very simple in terms of everyone knowing where everyone stands as well. Open to options. Options could be endless, couldn't they? Very much so. So obviously we've got the whole physical app aspect and element of the app and being able to reveal certain bits and pieces however you see fit. And if it's the idea that I'm not obviously just looking to be Physically attracted. What are the other elements that are supportive of whether I'm matching or swiping with the right person? How can you put their full. In the best way a digital footprint allows. How can they put their best bits other than their. You know, they will be. Everyone will. Exactly. I can be answering the question. Yeah. And it's a good one because it's one of the main points. You decide whether or not to invite someone as a favor or to join a conversation based on a short blurb which they have to write out, basically a short blurb about what their interests are, a bit about them, and also a body part, for example, without revealing something about themselves that kind of is symbolic of maybe what they're looking for or maybe who they are as a person, the way that they come across. So there is the information. And obviously, like I just said to you, in terms of their status, what actually looking for? Because many dating platforms, as you may or may not know, in terms of intentions, it's not very clear. And actually there's a lot of time wasting on these platforms until you actually meet in person. Or maybe you don't because you've been messed around so much because people haven't been honest. Yeah, I think that's a real unique selling point. For lack of a better terminology around the app is that, yes, you're never really clear what someone's intentions are unless you are going to a specific service that outlines that. And with online dating, you know, is it the fact that you just want to. I guess there's a perception that it could be like a hookup culture or app on the first glance before, like me heading to your Instagram, seeing all the motivational quotes around body image and, you know, perception of oneself. But on first glance, seeing it, you're like, oh, so it's naked dating. You're like, what's happening there then? So I guess you're giving as much information in. In regards to the intentions around the usage of the app to support people. Am I right? Am I interpreting that in the right way? Yes, yes. I mean, I would say what it is about is making sure that you know when you see someone's status, it is clear what they're looking for. But also in terms of you don't have to be naked. This is the main point. Going back. Say it again again. Your body, your rules. I mean, it really is. That slogan of ours is all about the empowerment and the reinforcement of how one would use this platform. And it's entirely down to them. I do love that And I love the models that you have on your Instagram and the way they are so happy to be sharing parts of themselves whichever they see fit. And it does come across as quite empowering. And I can't wait to see how it goes down, what the press have to say about it when it launches and I guess there'll be a lot of interest in it. Now, Alex, earlier on we were talking about communication and for one, I think it is very interesting the idea and you should definitely shout more about that that you chat before you show, I guess because I think as a woman on first glance would I join, like just putting myself out there, but the idea that I can build rapport and relationships first, that instantly makes me, and I guess I'm not single, but if I was, you know, feel a bit more comfortable about using the app. Talk to me about your top tips for communication. When I've matched with somebody, how quickly should I be getting offline and meeting them? Do you have rules around that kind of stuff? An idea of how people should best use it? Should they stay and build relationships? I call them pseudo relationships. Or do you get offline and meet as quickly as possible? What's your idea around all of that? I have to say the phrase how long is a piece of string? But we provide for us, it's the platform that brings about the safety and the conducive feel good factor of being yourself, being, being confident in yourself. And I think in terms of the intentions but also in terms of the conversation, it can flow one way or the other. And I think the great thing about our platform as well that forbear is that it's about sort of, you know, if you. The other key thing I should say actually is that forbear is that you don't actually reveal your face straight away. So that is quite a big thing that needs to be put out there in terms of how we're going to work. So for example, you will have to message someone first to have a conversation before they even decide and you both decide together. If you then want to reveal your face. Just putting that out there now, because that's one of the big things about. You can be anonymous, you can reveal it straight away. Again, it goes back to the point that it's down to you to decide when you want to, you know, become known and then obviously arrange the date if you want to. But in terms of again, how long is it string in terms of every conversation? Because until you have that rapport, until you get going and it can be down to variables like do they reply often, how often, when do they reply, are they long messages? As many people know, it varies from person to person. And you kind of go with your gut, don't you? A lot of time. Any top tips for communicating confidently? If you're nervous about navigating bear dating, I think just, I mean, have fun. And that's the idea of the platform, to have fun and be safe, which it very much is. And you know, be inquisitive and curious about why people, why have you shared this and, you know, this part of yourself or, you know why and just what does that represent about you? And you know, we're really excited about this. We're really excited about what people are going to share and why. And they're going to, you know, they're gonna maybe use that, put paint on their bodies. They're gonna do like, if you've seen our Instagram, they do various things to make it a bit more, make yourself stand out again, not like other dating platforms in terms of body and body confidence. Got that standout ability for sure. You definitely do. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan here on Love Lessons Live, interviewing the wonderful Gillian and Alex, the co founders alongside with Philip. Am I right? Indeed, indeed. Of bear dating. We're talking dating laid bare your body, you rules. And after the break, we'll be back with Gillian where we'll be talking how singles can overcome the lacking of body confidence and what bear dating can do to help you come out of your shell, out of the box. We'll be back. Welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's well being. 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Whether you're thinking of having a baby, trying to get out of an unhappy relationship or just unsure what benefits you may be entitled to, we can help. Visit turntous.org.uk welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's well being. Women's Radio Station can give voice to your brand. With a wide range of sponsorship opportunities, including individual programs, we can tailor your experience for you. For more information on how you can sponsor a Show, go to womensradiostation.com Women's radio station supporting women's well being. Welcome back to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan here on Love Lessons and we're here today with Bear Dating. We've just been chatting to Alex and we've got Jillian back on and we're going to be talking about body confidence, confidence laid bare out there. So welcome back, Gillian. Thank you. So, Gillian, if I was perhaps a female not feeling confident in how I look or myself, then why would Bear Dating be for me? That's a very good question, actually. I don't know. I tend to sort of, I'm personally of a belief structure that, you know, you do, you do the things you're afraid of and you get the confidence afterwards. You can't push through a lot of these barriers until you start to push. And sometimes, you know, and I think on our platform, as I said, but you're able to slowly reveal and gauge people's reactions. And obviously, people are going to be very witty and charming and lovely. So as you know, as you get better reactions, you'll slowly build your confidence to bear more and bear more and bear more. Well, that's the idea. Anyway, I was thinking this morning when I was on my way here about how the app works, because obviously we haven't spoken before about the intricacies of the app, and I thought, oh, my goodness, is it going to be an app that would perhaps be detrimental to how I think about myself? Perhaps if I am swiping and no one's swiping back or whatever, if you're showing the whole thing? Or is it the sections that I'd read about? And now the more I'm listening to you, and I'm sure the more the listeners are listening in, we're figuring out that it's all about, yes, your body, your rules, and you do have control. And it's not the fact that you would be. Because it's the whole idea of rejection that people are taking in with these days online. And I guess the question for me is, what are you going to do to eradicate? Well, I think so much of that rejection, as you were just listening to Alex speak about it, comes from that swiping culture where you're just looking at people's faces. Whereas on our platform, even though, yes, you know, certain people might be. Might want to completely reveal themselves initially, we're not necessarily. We're trying to advocate the opposite, where you, you know, remain a little bit of an enigma. There's a slight, you know, there's this wonderful tease that happens in the more that you talk, the more that you reveal. And there's, you know, an inherent nature with people that something that is hidden, you want to see it revealed. So I would advise people to play off that a little bit. It's the curiosity. Yeah, definitely. Okay. So obviously, when you think about the world today, there is the idea that. Well, it's not the idea the majority of people can find something that they don't love about their body. The majority of people, I think about a whole room of women I was speaking to recently, and, you know, everyone had something that they didn't love. So what would you say to somebody that has, you know, a certain area of their body that they don't love, other than the fact that they don't have to show it. Oh, how can we begin? I think it's, you know, anybody and most people can look back to, you know, former relationships in their past, and it's often the pieces of our own bodies that our partners, well, you know, our own bodies that we find, you know, a little bit upsetting, but our partners love the most. They're the bits that define you. They're the pieces. And, you know, you can look back through history and to stages where, you know, a lot of the time there's been a big shift thanks to, you know, some notable stars. How in the past a big bottom might not have been acceptable. Yet now we have, you know, The Kardashians and JLo and different people's self images and how that translates to potential partners are kind of very different issues. Okay, and so if you could set a pathway to building confidence in some top tips, what would they be? Get out there, start pushing your own boundaries. That can be in many different ways. What makes somebody feel confident can be a new dress or spending time with their friends. Surrounding yourself with the right people that make you feel good about yourself. Working on yourself independently from the inside, rather than only the outside. These strengths show. There's classic lines. You know, the people that are smiling and having fun and running down the street or dancing, they look beautiful. You know, beauty comes 100% comes from within. So find that inner beauty. It's so true, and I've said it so many times, but happiness to men and women is the most attractive trait, isn't it? And if someone is wholly happy, it's really, it just glows, emanates from you. So if I am the kind of person that's looking at your app thinking, gosh, I'd love to be that person that joins and you know, here on the radio show, we're all about health and well being and how we feel about ourselves in order to, I guess, get out there and confidently navigate dating and relationships. How am I going to find that inner beauty that you've just mentioned, Gillian? If I'm feeling, you know, somewhat lacking, how am I going to work on it? Take that jump. Take the jump. As I say, I think also, you know, be a part of a community. And what we're trying to build at Bear is that sense of community where people support each other, where, you know, where the focus is on body positivity and inspiring people to be proud of who they are, to be proud of their bodies, to celebrate every part of themselves. It's so nice that you say the word community and the fact that Bear dating is going to be a community. Is there going to be a way for them to interact as a community or is it just one on one chit chat? Well, we do have further plans to start hosting events which will come hopefully by the end of the year. Initially, we're sort of trying to, as I say, build that community, become part of our tribe, interact with us on Instagram, interactorous on Facebook. I'm going to start doing some blogs and it'd be great to have anybody using our site to come and talk to us. Talk about your experiences and dating and tips and do's, and don'ts, good dates and bad dates even, you know, horror stories or wonderful success stories, you know, come and be a part of our tribe. I guess it's the whole idea that because you've not launched yet, it's like you're gonna be learning as you go as well. Learning on the charts. It's been quite a steep learning curve. Learning about app development and code and yeah, it's been extraordinary. Pushing your own boundaries. 100% pushing my own boundaries. Okay, so earlier on in the show, Gillian, we had briefly touched on the fact that, you know, you've got people in the waiting list in let's say Germany and across Europe. So what kind of international reach do you hope and the long term goals of the app? So say, because we do have an international listenership here, I've got somebody in New York that's thinking, well, I want to be bear and I want a date. So what would you say to them that are listening in? Join our wait list and follow us on Instagram and Facebook currently and follow our progress. Actually our launch procedure at the moment is we're focusing on London and then we're going to go city by city across the 10 top cities in the UK and hit press in each city and hopefully as we sort of go, you know, build a tribe in every location. Further about global reach, definitely, as I said, yes, we do have a number of people in Germany, Finland and Italy and France. I was going through the list the other day. I think we even have people in Canada on our list, which is, it's mind blowing. It's so wonderful. So, yeah, world domination is definitely on the cards. It is so exciting. And it was one of the questions on my mind about RADIUS because, because I know when I was single way back when and I was trying online dating because as a matchmaker at the time I couldn't date my clients and I couldn't join another matchmaking firm. So I thought, oh, I'm a huge advocate for finding love offline, but of course I'll put myself online. And then lo and behold, learning so much about online dating. And I remember going through an airport and swiping right and left and then I thought I landed to my then destination. I think San Fran. And I had matched with someone all the way who, you know, in New York and then someone that's gone back to London. And I thought, okay, we'll carry on chatting with them because you never know whether we'll be here. You know, I remember in my past I had, I was talking to somebody on online dating and, and they flew over from Sweden to, to meet me and going and we went on dates. We didn't end up together but, but it was great fun. You know, the world is a much smaller place now than what it used to be. And I think that's the great thing about the online dating environment is that you're broadening everyone. You don't necessarily have to be dating somebody from your own neighborhood, your own city. It's a big, wide, wonderful world out there. Exactly, exactly. And earlier we talked a little bit about the idea of a hookup culture and you know, the fact that people talk about online dating kind of breeding this hookup culture. How is bear dating going to stand their ground and stand alone and just be like, actually this app is for body confidence and people to put themselves out there. It's not. It's for you to be clear, I guess not just about the fact that people can do what they want and they've got freedom with their own bodies. You know, non judgmentally is an advertisement. How can you stand alone and be clear on that? I think we're going to try to. And this is our idea about having podcasts along and creating a network and having blogs and then later on to events and hopefully, as we said, creating this community and focused on the empowerment of being a part of that tribe. Okay, so before we head off to an ad break, let's have a quick fire roundup of three top tips to build confidence and get onto bear Dating app. Go out, dance, meet your friends, run down the street, go and buy yourself a new dress or put some nice lipstick on. Go out and expose yourself a little bit more. Yes. Keep pushing those boundaries. Keep pushing those boundaries. Amazing. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan here on Love Lessons. We have been talking all about body confidence with bear dating and putting yourself out there full frontal if you wish or in sections if you so wish. And we're talking about bear dating launching in September with Gillian Myhill and Alex Sargent of Bear Dating with third party Phil, who can't be here today. After the break, we're going to be back with Alex where we're going to be talking about making the moves and also how to use bear dating, changing the way we date today and how it stands on its own as an app. Next week on the show. Just so you know, we're going to be talking about being a single boss and confidently navigating entrepreneurship as a confident single. We'll be right back after the break with Alex. Tune in. Welcome to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station supporting women's well being and we're talking all things autism women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Tracey Weedon of Brownhill Insurance Group. 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To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@mediamattersforwomen.org welcome back. You're listening to women's radio stations supporting women's well being, women's radio stations creating a global network for the empowerment of women. And we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter @WomensRadio station, that's Women's Radio STN or Facebook Women's radio station to keep up to date with all our exciting programmes. Foreign. Hello, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome back to Love Lessons Live. I'm here learning all about body confidence dating and finding relationships perhaps laid bare with bare dating. Welcome back. Welcome. So we're joined this time by Alex. We've just had Gillian on in the last segment where we were talking about body confidence. Now I really want to get to go grips with bear dating as a concept and what kind of moves it's going to make in the dating industry to change it up a little bit and change it for the better. As you all know, I'm a huge advocate for love online and offline now, I guess. And I want to, I want to understand how people are adding value in the dating industry to bring the best quality of services to people who are navigating the scene. So to find love or I guess put themselves out there, at least as far as bear dating is concerned. So why don't you tell me, Alex, what, what are you going to do in the dating industry to kind of shake it up a little bit? Well, I think the way we see Bear is building on from what Gillian said earlier is that we do see it as a fun experience to kind of let yourself go to an extent, gamifying dating but at the same time allowing you to build a hook with the person that you're speaking to so that you can then build a rapport and a fun experience. And I think compared to what is currently out there on the market at the moment, it's very much based on that kind of mystery, the underpinning of the whole venture really for us. So we do see it very much as a community and as an opportunity to really explore and do things you haven't really done before. Doing things you haven't really done before. Changing the way you date, I guess. Yes, if you think about what's out there at the moment, Bear dating really does set itself aside from, like we said earlier with Gillian, the swiping mentality. And I think the mystery is quite interesting as a concept. How did you come up with the idea that you wanted it to be mysterious, to keep people, I guess, engaged? Because goodness knows, we need to be engaged in this modern world? Very much so, yes. I mean, my background is actually. I worked in the third sector and also actually run a social enterprise myself. And over the years, my actual charity is helping to engage young people with their communities through filmmaking. And along the way, I've been sort of a believer in creating platforms that really helped put back into the communities and help people feel good about themselves. Positive tech is one of my big things personally. And I think what we're entering to in the world right now is without going into the political side of things, is a world where people are unsure about their data. They're unsure who has it, who has access to it, and where we're going with that. So it's really paramount that people do know that we are talking to real people as well. And what happened with Bear is that I basically, I met Martin, one of my co founders. Phil's not here today. At a dating expo last year. This was actually all in the course of the last, effectively six months, where I met Phil at the expo. We got talking. He was doing a talk about his dating platform. It's called Gutsy Dating. It's specifically for people with stomach conditions, illnesses, and 10% of the world's population suffer from these such conditions. So he set up his own platform. And I also ran a dating events company which was all about releasing your inhibitions. So it was about providing events, a space where you really could let yourself go. It wasn't based on talk. It was based on what I call bodyfulness, which is like mindfulness, really, but it's more about being in touch with your body and using your body subconsciously to meet new possible partners or whatever have you. So taking those two sort of dimensions, or ventures, I should say, as a kind of foundation, we then got talking, literally then when I met Phil about. About this concept of where we're going next and what does the world crave and need. And, you know, BARE was what we ended up with. And that was actually when I've known Gillian for a while and we. I just. I just thought of her straight away and I thought, this is so. This is so got to be. Have Gillian on board. Basically. Gillian knows the rest of the story, but. And then basically from January, all engines go six months. We've basically come this far in six months. So we've raised investments, we've obviously done it with the idea, pretty much built the platform and now we're just embarking on just getting our message out there. I think it all sounds so interesting in the sense that you have. First of all, I love that it's a gender, I guess, balanced team in the fact there's co founders, female and male, but bring your different thoughts and opinions to the table. And obviously we all know that most apps and tech is by men and so it's nice to have a female co founder in the room. Woohoo. I really love the idea that you're from a background of positive tech. How did you get into that, Alex? Over the years, really, my first business was a charity, a social enterprise at university, 15, 14 years ago. No one's counting. Yeah. And yeah, so from there my whole life has been about again, creating platforms, making a point about engagement. Engagement is really what I'm all about as a person and positive engagement. And so going through the industry as a background in media and politics and now obviously dating. I'm also a personal trainer, but that's more of a size sort of thing. But it's all about lifestyle style. I'm really interested in your events because I know earlier on in the show, Gillian touched on the fact that obviously you've had these constructive conversations about in the future, doing bear events, however they look, you know, yet to be revealed. But tell us a little bit more about your event journey because they do sound really exciting and really interesting. Yes, I think the roots of the events that I've run, the foundation of them has been something that's caught people's attention because it's not. They've not just been focused on, for example, speed dating or lock and key. These are all the conventional events that most people affiliate dating events with. And yeah, I mean, I think as a, as a underpinning message, it was always about how do you attract both men and women to an event that is about effectively matchmaking? And what you always found is it's actually the other way around with dating events because it's a two to one ratio for women typically, so it's always difficult getting the men to come. So it was always a challenge making sure we found a platform that would then, you know, event in this case would attract both genders. And that's what we've effectively found with my events company V and then building From V. Yeah. This is when obviously the kind of all of the variables sort of came together as a kind of catalyst within both Gillian, myself and Bear to bring these life experiences all together. And so when we come onto the Bear events, which will definitely be happening, and once the community starts to gather pace, we will in fact be launching a Kickstarter campaign, I can tell you that. That's exciting. Very much so. We've already had a lot of people saying they want to play. We haven't even effectively announced it yet until now, really. And so that's going to be part of the process in September. For those people just tuning in, tell them what Kickstarter means and how they can go about being a part of it. Definitely. So Kickstarter is an opportunity to be a part of creation, something that's new, exciting and to really feel that you've been part the moment it arrives, really. And so with Kickstarter, typically you pledge. You pledge money for, for example, things that might be on offer from that company or that organization, whatever it is, or, you know, the theatre, whatever it is it's offering on a Kickstarter campaign. So in our instance is obviously a dating platform. So we'll be giving away, you pledge X amount of money for a lifetime membership, for example, or you pledge X money for, you know, access to one of our launch events across the world. World. Or you pledge XYZ for another pledge. We haven't actually finalized the pledges yet, but we have shot our campaign video, which was. Which was great fun and that was really exciting as well. And that will be coming to us in line with when the Kickstarter is announced, beginning towards the end of August, September time. We'll have to share that over on Love Lessons and with women's radio station. Really exciting. Are we going to see a lot of nudity in your promo video? That's what we're all tuning in for. Oh, again, I've got to be boring here. But wait and see, wait and see, my lord. Yeah, it's all coming this way. Don't worry. It's just all agreed. And so would you say there's a different. Because we talked a little bit earlier about the ratio of women that come to events. It's a different kind of ratio than people signing up to online dating platforms. Is it that women in your perception, are more confident to come to events than chat online? And is the it just to follow up from that, all about the digital footprint? Whatever the answer is, That's a good question. So, I mean, obviously having Done both to an extent, certainly. We're about to launch Bear. I think events really is about. I'm going to massively generalise. I'm going to have to. I think, I think on dating apps you get a lot of confident men and you get with some event, depending on the events. It's all about confidence. So building confidence is the key. And that's why I very much want Bear to be a part of encapsulating all parts, all the audiences, all orientations. And I think with dating events, it's about an experience. So if the experience is something that's challenging and it's fun and exciting, you're going to get more men coming and women, obviously, but with more kind of stereotypical. Going back to the point, speed dating is fine, there's nothing wrong with it and it works. Many people I've been speed dating, it's been fun, but it's not for everyone. And so you've got to get that grand vision into both the events and the application platform online. So having done your fair share of events and knowing that Bear Dating will in the future launch events, can you give us a quick fire round of free top tips to confidently navigate them? Oh, that's right. Well, yes. Be yourself, be bare if you want to bear as little or as much as you want, indeed, your body, your rules, which we love, obviously, time and time again. And let yourself go. Let yourself go how? Watch this space. Alex, what a pleasure to have you on the show. And Gillian, what an absolute pleasure to have you on the show. For those of you that have just tuned in or have just been tuning in in the last segment, we're. We have been here with Alex and Jillian and Phil couldn't be here today of Bear Dating. Bear Dating is an app that's ready to download on what Alex. It's going to be a beta version to start September, the mobile web app and also websites. If you go to Bear Dating, you'll be able to sign up and you'll be notified as soon as there'll be a special offer as well, 50% off depending on when you sign up, or free depending on when that is. But we'll give details if you sign up up so you can join the waiting list to see little bit by little bit what's going on over on Bear Dating. So I'm Sarah Louise Ryan here on Love Lessons, as always, helping people find, build deepen, romantic, loving relationships and if it's there for them, navigating the scene confidently and also those to heal heartbreak if that's what they need. 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