Love Lessons – The Single Boss, Richard Bafoe And Jon Pellington

Hello, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live here in the studio. I've got a very exciting show today, or maybe I've just had far too much coffee, but I'm really looking forward to our wonderful guests that we've got in the studio. So this is the show, as you all know, or for those of you just tuning in, where we talk about dating, relationships, breakups and divorce, all the way to starting over as a confident single. The exciting show that we've got today is with a couple of co founders who help single entrepreneurs connect in and around London with their company, the Single Boss. So we're welcoming founders Richard Buffojan and John Pellington. So it was a bit of a mouthful there into the studio where they're going to be talking about what singles and entrepreneurs have in common and that can often be loneliness, especially in London. So we're going to be talking about eradicating loneliness. How can we overcome that feeling of loneliness? What is loneliness? And it's four different types, apparently. So first and foremost, welcome to John and Rich. Hi, Sarah, how are you doing? I'm really well and as you can tell, very excited to have you here. How are you? Yeah, not too bad, actually. Enjoying a bit of the sunny weather today. Oh, thank goodness. So, John, I want to dive right in and talk about what you think loneliness is. How does it feel? How is it described in your perception? I think what you described before, there's different types of loneliness. I think the one that I could probably identify with most from the people I've met in London is that emotional loneliness. London's a very interesting city, it's fantastic, everyone loves it. But I can imagine if you're not from London, it can be a very lonely place. Even though there's millions of people here, it's. Everyone's so busy, you know, there's lots of people just trying to make it in London, you know, trying to get to the next pay step up, etc. And a lot of people I've met have come here, worked really hard, but still have very few friends. They have like some work colleagues but, you know, when it comes to, like friends they can sort of rely on or, you know, connect with. Yeah, even in a city like London, they're still having trouble. So, yeah, I think it's, it can be a big problem. So do you think that, as you said, you know, people climbing the career ladder, they've really got to graft to get to where they want to be? Do you think that they're often making a choice to keep their social circles small because they're time poor. Or do you think it's lack of trusting or networking? What do you think it could be? I think it's probably a lack of trusting more than anything. I think you look at your own life, if you've come to London, you've had friends, you find it easier to make more friends whether you're busy or not. But I think when people don't have anybody in the first place, I don't think it's a choice to stay focused on work. I think they're almost forced into that because they're finding it hard to meet people and connect. Some people get very lucky, obviously, you know, you might have a great workplace and it's very sociable, but if not, yeah, that's still going to be a climb for them. I think it's really important that we talk about loneliness because actually not so many people do. And it's amazing that Loneliness Awareness Week has just passed us by here in the UK and there's actually been a photography exhibition portraying different, I guess, normal people in everyday situations where they talk and show how lonely they can feel. Doesn't matter what age they are or their social status or career status. And what do you think about, you know, eradicating the stigma around having conversations when it comes to loneliness? How can we do it? How can you do it in London? That's a tough one, I think if you're in some of the northern, you know, sort of cities, etc. I'm just saying this because I'm from Birmingham, but people tend to be a little bit more friendly just in general. You know, you're on the bus and people that everyone doesn't say hello to you, how you doing? But I mean, people are a lot, they smile more, you know, just little things like that happens more outside of London, I think. Not saying that London, like is the only problem place, but in terms of how to eradicate it. I have to be honest with you, apart from actually identifying that problem yourself and making steps to deal with it, that is finding social events, you know, actually forcefully, forcefully, but making sure you hang out with your workmates, for example, or finding dinner parties, that sort of thing, I don't know how it can be eradicated. I just think the individual has to, you know, pick a method and sort of, you know, just try and deal with it themselves. Yeah, I think what I'm hearing from you is about, it's about strategy really. If you, you know, exit the denial stage and you accept that actually you are feeling a little bit disconnected and you are feeling a little bit lonely. Finding an acceptance with that idea and working, you know, with the strategy of okay, well I'm going to go to this networking event or I'm going to reach out to X amount of people this week or whatnot. It sounds like that is a way to move forward and move out of state of loneliness, whichever one of those states it may be. Now we do a pretty good job of making ourselves busy. And I hate that word busy because it's one that we're using more than any other word. It's like this comparison of who's busier than who. Is your business keeping you busier, is your social life keeping you busier? And we talk about how busy we are. If you think about how many emails you say in, how many conversations you say it in, it's become the trendiest word in big cities such as London, New York, LA, whatever, and it really gets my goat. So do you think it's that we're making ourselves look busy or we're actually making ourselves busy to fill a void? Yeah, I think it's a bit of both. Like you said, it is trendy. I think I've heard trying to do it myself. But people compare without realizing they're comparing. They, you know, they say, yeah, I didn't get out till 6 or 7 today. And somebody else says, oh yeah, I was working on the weekend. Or somebody else says, oh you know, I've done a 40 hour week and all these things come up in conversations. And on one hand I do think people are comparing a little bit. Comparison crisis. Yeah, especially in like the city. But also I think people are just used to it. It's just, you know, they literally just compare their week without actually realizing that actually, you know, am I actually that busy or am I just kind of just saying I am? You know, they did a few extra hours in the week for example, doesn't necessarily mean they were like that much busier, if that makes sense. But yeah, I think it's more of a comparison thing. I think people are getting busier though, especially with work, normal nine to five, you know, people have got more responsibilities as well these days I think, and their normal jobs which can make them busier. And then you mentioned social life as well. So trying to balance your work and actually have a social life yet will pretty much take up all the hours in the week. Yes, for sure. And what I hear from singles is that they often love to jam pack their diaries because they need to feel busy, they need to not feel alone in this big city with millions of people. Because somehow, and I recently read how the weekends can really highlight how we might feel lonely or alone if we don't identify with the word lonely. So what do you think about the weekend and what can we do to make ourselves feel less alone and less lonely over the weekend? Whether you're single, whether you're entrepreneurial, whatever it is that has put you in that mindset of feeling alone or lonely. Yeah, there's, there's tons of things you can do. But then again, you know, if you're just doing stuff to again, fill your diary, it's kind of, it's almost, it can be a bit counterproductive. But I think perhaps what I said before about actually trying to do social things with, with new people always helps. But again, it depends what sort of loneliness we're talking about as well. If we're sticking with the emotional loneliness. Yeah, on a weekend, you got a bright sunny day, you know, you want to go down to the park and you're thinking, oh, wouldn't that be great to have a, you know, partners go with or something like that? You know, going off to, I know, a darts tournament or something may not be the exact kind of thing you're looking for. But yeah, I think, I think that you just got to, you just got to, you've got to do something, you know, you've got to get out the house, you've got to take your mind off it, so to speak. I would actually play a bit of devil's advocate and identify that as social loneliness. Because emotional loneliness in my perception is the fact that we could be surrounded in our work life by tons and tons of people. We could be going to tons of networking events and we could be doing lots of after work drinks and socials and all that jazz. However, we feel somewhat disconnected and we're lacking in deeper meaningful connection and conversation. So somehow, I mean, I don't know, you know, the actual terminology, but I would identify that as social loneliness. Moreover, emotional loneliness. What do you think? Yeah, I suppose you could look at it both ways, but yeah, I think you actually got a point there because, yeah, if you are connecting with connection but actually meeting people, then I guess, yeah, you've got that social circle. If you're not connecting with them, then, yeah, you're not, you haven't got that emotional connection. But then I think as well, if you're not, say you're meeting all these people, you're doing, you know, let's say salsa dancing or something like that, which is great meeting people. But the fact that maybe you don't talk to that many people may still, it may still feel like you're not actually socializing because you're not really interacting with them as well. Yeah, I mean, I'm not an expert on this whole loneliness thing. It's just my two cents. Yes. And I do think that so many people move to London thinking about starting a business, which we'll totally jump over to with Rich after the break, about entrepreneurial loneliness and eradicating that as well. But people move to London thinking, oh my gosh, I'm going to make so many new friends. I'm going to build a business. I'm going to be so well connected and build connections and climb the career ladder. But in actual fact, there was a stat that I read, I think I'll quote who it was later when it comes to me that London identifies itself as the most lonely city in the whole of the world. Oh, I think I want to say yes. Well, it's higher than New York for sure with New York being at 52 or 53% and we're at 55% with those people that took the survey. Isn't that incredible? That's kind of scary. I would have thought maybe somewhere else would have had that problem. But yeah. Okay, so if you could give us a quick fire three top tip round of connecting and eradicating loneliness in the best way that you know how, I think. And whether it will eradicate or not, I'm not entirely sure. But go. Networking. Networking is great. Try different types of social events and try not to rely on social media so much and actually get out there and meet real people. Ooh. Yes, we'll totally touch on that after the break because I want to talk about the analysis paralysis of social media and how it can in fact make us feel a little bit more lonely. So all you listeners listening in, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan, this is Love Lessons and we'll be right back. Welcome to women's radio station. 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Here in the studio I'm chatting to the co founders Richard and John of the Single Boss and we're talking about eradicating loneliness as a single and as an entrepreneur in London and hopefully around the UK and globally, if we can strategize our way, I guess, from being a lonely single and a lonely entrepreneur, maybe matching them all. What do you say, Richard? Yes. Yes. Well, thank you. Thank you for letting me be on the show. I know we're a bit giddy here today in the studio because I haven't seen Richard for a long time, and we're here talking about so many different things that Richard is bringing to the table with John and how they're going to make moves and an impact in the dating industry to connect. So singles and also those entrepreneurial minds. So just before the break, we were chatting about loneliness in London and I mentioned a stat about how 55% of people that took a survey were identifying themselves as lonely. And that was in comparison to 52% in New York. And I just can't believe that London identifies as lonely more so than New York. And that was a survey with Time out, in fact. So what do you make of those stats in general, Richard? I'm not surprised. You're not surprised? I'm surprised. I think you could look at it as the British way of life, maybe the London way of life. It's a very busy city. Giving people the cold shoulder, maybe. So reading your newspaper on the tube and not necessarily talking to the person next to you. Yeah. Why don't they want to know about our lives? They don't understand. Do we care? Exactly. It just seems to be the London way. And I guess it would be nice to change that. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, and I guess we'll talk about it a little bit later on in the show. But what the single boss is doing to bridge that gap and forge that connection between those people who I guess can sometimes identify as lonely, whether it is a single or an entrepreneur. And they're all great. Busy. Oh, gosh, busy. Shouldn't have used that word. They're successful professionals, aren't they? So tell me a little bit about your entrepreneurial journey, Rich. And have you ever identified with the things that we've talked about so far in the show? So my entrepreneurial journey is involved being a matchmaker, so on for two years and then off for a couple of years. So in a sense, being an entrepreneur for me has been keeping busy, as always. Yes. And essentially pretty much working on my own and sometimes with others and kind of just doing the hard craft, sometimes talking to people and just getting a sense of. Right. I feel like I need to Work on this. I feel like I need to work on this. I have 100 tasks to do in front of me, and I need to be able to sell my business, talk about it, and be able to present it in a way which is. Which is great, essentially. So I feel like. I feel like when it comes to the kind of loneliness, it's easy for me to get stuck in my laptop or kind of stuck writing and not necessarily feel like I'm engaging with others. And that is an active choice I like to make, to actually speak to other people and bring them in. I guess, in my opinion, as human beings, we need to feel connected on a huge human level, because we've got this whole way of feeling socially connected online. And somehow we can identify that as in our minds, as knowing what everyone's up to in their lives, knowing what's going on in other people's businesses, because, you know, they're sharing what we see. And so we digest that as feeling connected, but in actual fact, we're not. So what. What do you. I guess that's like social disconnection. That's social loneliness. Right. You could look at it as the fear of missing out when you see other people. Fomo? Yes, fomo. Have you heard of Jomo? No, what's Jomo? Jomo is the joy of missing out. It's all about how we look at it. So people obviously are thinking, oh, my gosh, they've got a better life, relationship, business, lifestyle than me. Whatever. Dog, puppies. I'm only saying that because I've been looking at one this weekend. And so people entertain, looking at other people's lives and doing the analysis. Paralysis themselves. But if we kind of sit and just think, actually, I'm gonna say no to that this weekend because I am feeling burnt out, or I don't need to go to that networking, which I know is not gonna serve me, but I'm going to fill a void. So it's the idea of embracing Jomo instead of looking at it as fomo, which I think is brilliant. That's a brilliant way of looking at it. It is really easy to almost open up your Facebook or Twitter or your Instagram and just scroll through for hours and hours. Have you seen the whole Screen Time app? Yes. I love that. In fact, it came on just a minute ago. It's just amazing how many hours I spend on social media and I'm kind of like, oh, and how it breaks it down. Yes. For anyone listening in that doesn't know what screen time is and you're feeling like you're far too busy and you're addicted to your phone, iPhone or Android or whatever you've got. I challenge you to install screen time, do your updates. Mine has been down and this is a bit of a humble brag because I can't believe it's actually down. It's only because I was at a conference, but anyway, by 4.5 hours a day last week, isn't that incredible? I thought, how did I have 4.5 hours to spare? To spare, to spend, to scroll. What's yours looking like, Richard? Oh, I don't want to bring it up now, but let's just say I've been using it a lot. I've been developing apps. Well, you've been developing apps. You've been a busy boy. I've been a bit busy. And so we'll talk about it a little bit later on in the show. But Richard is working on a dating magazine, which will be the best thing to market in ages, I'm sure, and he'll be launching that at the Single Boss event, which will be this Thursday, which we'll again talk about with John a little bit later on in the show. So. So let's just jump back a minute to entrepreneurial loneliness. If you can think of ways that that shows itself up. As an entrepreneur, can you tell me what they might be? How can I just sit and think, oh, gosh, yes, I am feeling lonely, or I am feeling a bit isolated. How would it show itself up for you, Richard? I'd say shyness, really. I think someone who might come to one of our events who may come across as quite shy, you can notice that pretty much straight away. And we do our best to really, really encourage people to come along and enjoy themselves and have a good time and relax. I think as well, just a lack of clear goals and a mentality which is very much like, I'm in it, I'm going with it, this is my goal. And I think when we do look at the kind of sense of loyalists, it's okay if you're at home and you're sitting on a laptop or whether you're trying to connect with someone at an event, you have to kind of have a look at yourself and kind of sit there. Well, say, sit there, stand there and ask yourself, am I connected with people in the right way, which is showing off who I am and what I'm doing. And I think that could be important for some people and some people might be there and actually not necessarily do that very well. So it's asking yourself the question, how am I being received? Yes. Because we think we're putting ourselves across one way, but often it could be received in another way, which is a complete juxtaposition to what we had in our mind. Pretty much. Pretty much. And sometimes that can swirl around in your mind and, and actually have a detriment to you than a positive effect. I guess asking people that are close to you or those, I guess if you're feeling confident and comfortable at an event, how you come across would be a great way to get feedback. Yeah, getting feedback is very good in whatever situation you're in. Actually just taking someone aside and saying, how am I doing? That's absolutely great. So when people arrive in London because obviously a lot of people, people move here as well as, you know, are from here and start businesses and whatnot, they often think that they're gonna come, make loads of friends. And we mentioned that before the break with John and that they're gonna have this most, you know, amazing social circle and successful business. And I think the one thing in my mind we can strategize for is, you know, building a scalable business, building a sellable business and all of that stuff. But, but we can't seem to strategize our way out of loneliness as an entrepreneur. Because when we've got that grit and when we've got that grind and we're thinking about building something incredible and we're so passionate, we can just get stuck in it, can't we? Very much so. And sometimes we can't see what's going on and that we're maybe isolating ourselves or making ourselves busy. So what do you think that entrepreneurs can best do to eradicate the feelings and to not only eradicate feelings, but to connect other than coming to single boss events? I would say, I'd say relax, relax a little bit. I'm gonna throw something out there. A co working space would be great. Co working spaces are great, but they're also places where you can almost be around 100 people and still feel absolutely lonely. Even in co working space. Even in co working space. Because it's still the mentality. Indeed. So get yourself around the water cooler or drinks fountain or whatever it is that's there and start having conversations with people and that's how you get to know what other people are doing in their businesses and how you can help them help you. Okay, so actually that's just brought me to. I'm going to do a quick firetop tip then. When I went through a breakup years ago and I was feeling a lack of confidence. I challenged myself to put myself out there in certain ways. I was wearing red for 30 days and it was ridiculous, but it really helped me. So I would say if anyone's listening in and you're feeling a bit lonely as a single, as an entrepreneur and you don't know the best way to connect with someone, I would challenge you. Or maybe we should challenge them to speak to 50 new people this week. 550 go out in Starbucks, coffee shop, your co working space on your dating apps, your singles events, whatever. And literally create a mental tally of how many new people you've spoken to proactively this week, not waiting for them to hit on you or, you know, hook up a business meeting with you. You should proactively set yourself a task of five zero new connects this week. Do you agree? Very good. Quick fire round of how to connect as an entrepreneur. Go make space for events in your diary. It's really important to just give yourself that time to just go to various events, go to meetups, go to all of these things. Yeah. And get active and get involved. There's no point being on the sidelines, just looking at what's going on and find a wing person or a friend that can just help you be you. Oh, I love that. Who supports you, I guess, on your connection journey as an entrepreneur or a single or both. Indeed. How exciting. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan here on Love Lessons talking to the co founders of the Single Boss about eradicating loneliness and connecting. We'll be right back. 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Because apparently London identifies as one of the loneliest cities. So I'd like to warmly welcome John back for this segment where we're going to be talking all about the Single Boss, the kind of events that the single boss provide for those busy bees out there who are bossing up and being entrepreneurial. So welcome back to John. Hello. Hi. So earlier on in the show we've talked about loneliness. We've talked about how best to eradicate the, you know, loneliness in general and being a lonely entrepreneur. But now I want to know about your entrepreneurial journey and how you came to be in the dating industry. With your wonderful company, the Single Boss. Tell us a bit about you. Okay, it goes back a little bit before the Single Boss. So about five years ago, ish, four and a half, five years ago actually made a dating app called Text Data. So that was a little while ago and the whole reason that came about was because of the kind of backlash from Tinder. Tinder's a great app, you know, lots of people love it, but a lot of people also think it's very superficial. So at the time there was very few other apps out there trying to tackle the whole sort of dating world from that angle. So that app was based around personality. But even during that time as I was making the app, I also thought to myself, speed dating a few times in a few networking events and always thought it'd be great to have a networking event for single entrepreneurs or professionals. So that was way back when time moved on, worked part time for the biggest dating speed dates companies in the UK for a while, great company again, the idea was kept sort of festering. It was like, you know, you're doing these great events, you know, boat parties, all these things, but it's never focused around busy entrepreneurs. Fast forward again and I believe I was talking to, I met Rich at the dating wards very, quite a long time ago. But we stayed friends and I did ping the idea past him and thought, yeah, that's a great idea. And literally one day in August last year, I think it was end of July maybe, I literally just thought, you know what, let's just, let's just put it together and just see, you know, who's, who's going to come. Because I'd spoken to other people before and they said, yeah, it's a great idea. You know, I've had a similar thing. You mentioned the co working spaces a little while ago in the last segment and even there people were, you know, quite segregated to a degree. But a lot of people had the same issue I was having. It's like, you know, I'd like to meet somebody who's also a busy entrepreneur, professional, etc. So we knew there were some legs to the idea. It's just, we had to just get out there and just, you know, say, yeah, let's just do it. Was there a part of you thinking, gosh, this should be out there, when's it going to be out there? And then it just never arrived. Yep. In fact the company I worked for, I did ping the idea to them because I thought it was a great idea. You know, they had a lot more resources but they had their niches already, so it's totally fine. But, yeah, I was always surprised that that wasn't there. And I think we. I think we're pretty much the first ones to do it. Maybe with. Might be the second ones, but I think, at least in all the circles that I've been in, everyone says, yeah, we've never heard of this before. This sounds great. There is a book called Big Magic about jumping on your entrepreneurial ideas or your passions and following them as quickly as you possibly can because they come into your mind and they're there to be caught. And they' they're there and they've come to you for a reason. And so I'm a big believer in just, like, going ahead and, like, forging ahead and doing it because you. I guess there is a part of you that will hope that, you know, you found something that doesn't exist and you think it's so great it should exist, but then you're like, okay, so someone going to do it then, and then they don't. And here you are with your business. A single boss. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I've not read that particular book, but I totally agree with that. Yes. I think people, lots of people have lots of ideas and it would be good if more people just did something about them. Not saying that everyone's gonna be a millionaire. I mean, you know, I'm nowhere near that yet. But, you know, if you've got something that seems worthwhile, you know, why not give it a go, speak to a few people and, you know, just. Yeah, just take the first step. Yeah, I guess. And if you're so passionate about something, you're giving value, and then all of the abundance will come later on, especially if you're, like, driving it forward and, you know, you really care about what it is that you're providing for those single entrepreneurs out there. I think it's a really great concept. And London is such an entrepreneurial hub. Apparently this is one of the places where people have a lower fear of failure than the rest of the uk. And so people are more likely to be entrepreneurial. So why won't it thrive here? That's the question, you know. So what have you found so far with your journey of the single bus? How well received has it been? It's been pretty well received. The first few events were a little bit bumpy because we're just starting out, but since then it's been going from strength to strength. You know, we've got regulars who come back, which is fantastic. So you know, shows people are really enjoying the events. We've expanded from what we originally started out, which was just a mix and mingle, and now we have guest speakers coming in every month for the last six months, and we're looking at sort of branching out into a few other things as well. So, you know, anything to share? Well, we've been working with Rich. Obviously Rich works with us, but with his magazine sort of quite closely as well. We've had some really good serial entrepreneurs come in and give us a few tips on, so how to take it forward. So we've definitely got some. I love that. The serial entrepreneur. Yeah, we've had a couple of those and they're top, top guys and girls who come through. And they're all single, right? Yes. At the events. Yep. That's very cool. So what. What do you find, other than being single and entrepreneurial, that, like, the demographic, what do they all seem to have in common? Like, is there a particular age group? Does it matter? I mean, tell us a bit more in depth. It's really interesting because the age group really doesn't matter that much. We stick an age range on the website because people want to see it. But we've had, I think the youngest chap who came is 22 or 23, and I think the oldest lady who came was. I think she was 54 or 6, something like that. So you got this massive age gap now. They're not necessarily gonna hook up, but the point is, because everyone's so relaxed at our events and, you know, we sort of make sure everyone's comfortable, etc. When you're face to face with people, that age gap really doesn't matter as much as it does on, like, you know, swiping left or right on an app. Yeah. So that's. That's one aspect that doesn't matter too much. And secondly, we get people from all walks of life, so we get, you know, from the professional to the entrepreneur. But a lot of people ask us, sometimes it's like, do you have to be a boss? Basically? Do you have to be like CEO or, I don't know, co founder or something? And that's not always the case, but basically it's just people who have a similar mindset, so people who are interest in that sort of a thing. So you could. What is that mindset? It's people interested in business generally, but also people who are just out there making the most of life. So we've had like a few artists come. I'm not trying to pick an Artist, but artists come through and singers, and obviously they. Singers are quite sort of career focused and the artists just love what they do, at least the ones we've met. But when they meet people who love what they do in business, it's still the same type of mindset, if that makes sense. Because, you know, you've got two people who love what they're doing and they can understand that. Heck, I know you're busy. Yep. I know you're busy. That's fine. We can find a middle ground and still, you know, enjoy each other. It sounds to me from what I'm hearing from you is like they're mindful people interested in, you know, personal development, I guess, networking and they've got the moving forward in life with purpose. Yeah, I think that's probably. Probably hit the nail on the head better than I did. I'm just trying to interrupt. I think they're. Yeah. People who are kind of. Yeah. Purpose driven. Purpose driven. You know, trying to make things happen, basically. Change makers. That's so exciting. Okay, and so tell us a little bit about the speakers because you mentioned a bit earlier you've had spent speakers at your event so far. I know from memory that you said that you had Saskia Nelson in to speak and she's been on the show before. So the listeners are familiar with Saskia, as is the dating industry. She has the world's number one dating photography business and she's a bit of a change maker, helping people connect and find love. And who else have you had? Yeah, so we've had. Sask was absolutely fantastic. What did she talk about? She basically the theme was how to make your pictures pop. So, you know, she's all about color and energy and all this kind of creative stuff within pictures. So she's giving basically some tips on how to actually do that with people like professionally or personally on their dating apps. Both, actually. So, you know, she interacted with the crowd. She got people to kind of, you know, give their two cents on what they thought about themselves. All sorts of great creative stuff. She was fantastic. We also had Sara Davison on the show and she is a divorce coach, which some people like. Well, you got a divorce coach on there, but she's also a relationship expert in relationships. Well, I guess when you've drawn a line into a relationship, you need to strategize the new chapter. So it all matters, doesn't it? Yeah. And she was great. Again, interacting with the crowd, you know, making us understand how to kind of focus on what we want. Because I Think, you know, people are a bit scattered around and, you know, it's kind of like, well, you know, if you focus on what you. You're looking for and kind of keep that simple. Yes, things can be a bit easier, I guess. You know, that's something that's popped up a lot recently. You know, people, singles who land themselves in situationships rather than relationships because they only really accept what comes to them rather than proactively deciding what it is that they want and their values and all that. Jaz. So that's really important. And what. Who else? Yeah, so we. So before I even carry on with the rest of the list, just to kind of put out there, when we have our guests, we try and cover from business to relationships. So, like, you know, some will be talking about business and we talk about relationships. So, for example, best of both worlds. Best of both worlds, exactly. So we had a chap called David de Costeron who was talking about how to travel like a boss. Oh, love that. Now that sort of diverted from the whole relationship thing and a little bit more into business. But, you know, you've got people there who work hard all the time and want to get out and travel. So, you know, it's like, well, how do you sort of travel, say on a budget, because you're spending all your money in your business, for example. So that was a great chat. So it sounds like a really dynamic, you know, set of guests, whether it's a panel or they come and do a talk. And so each event is different and it could be about dating, it could be about business. Is that right? Single boss. And so everyone listening in right now, just so you know, there is a single boss event this Thursday. Yep. Am I right? Where is it? 1st of August at Perini and Perini Bar in Oxford Circus. And where can they find you? If you go to thesingleboss.co.uk, you can find us there. Amazing. So all you wonderful people listening in, we'll be right back after the break where we'll be talking with Richard about all of those exciting things that he's bringing to the dating industry table. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and this is is Love Lessons. Welcome to Women's Radio Station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome to Love Lessons live on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to future Classic Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on Women's Radio Station. Hello and welcome to Julie Mae is listening. Hi, this is Anna Kennedy and we're at Women's Radio Station supporting women's well being and we're talking all things autism women. The possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Tracey Weeden of Brownhill Insurance Group. 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To find out more and be part of this movement, come check out our website@media mattersforwomen.org you're listening to women's radio stations supporting women's wellbeing. Women's radio station is creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter womensradio Station that's womensradio STN or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date with all our exciting programs. Hello, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome Back to Love Lessons Live. I've been here in the studio talking all about eradicating loneliness as a single, as an entrepreneur. And here in London, I guess we've been chatting to the co founders of the Single Boss who are really bridging the gap between all the different dating offerings out there, online dating, matchmaking and all that jazz. And they bring singles together at events where they can really learn, they can learn about how to navigate the, the modern path to finding a partner. They can also learn about how to thrive in their business and grow personally and I guess professionally. So welcome back to Rich. Hi there, how are you doing? Not too bad, not too bad. So Richard has been in the dating industry for a while now. He's one of the co founders, as you very well know, if you have been listening in, of the Single Boss and Richard, can you just tell the listeners a bit about your dating industry journey? Lovely. So my dating industry journey, well, it started about five years ago, so I worked with Carolyn Briny to start up my matchmaking service. I was doing that for a little while and then I took a little break. So about a year ago I decided to launch a dating magazine which showcases lovely singletons, people I've met out and about who have asked, why are you single? And they said, I don't know. So essentially it's like I'll showcase you and show who you are, show who you're about and actually just make you shine on a platform which is pretty much online and great. Isn't it interesting You've gone from one thing, well, you've trained with Caroline who's been on the show with her Matchmakers Academy. She's an award winning matchmaker herself and she really helps aspiring new and established cupids grow their business into something that's wildly successful. And Richard trained with Caroline to build his business. What was your matchmaking business? Introducing to, introducing to. And that is one aspect where it's interesting because it's again a juxtaposition because you are bound to confidentiality and now you're going the opposite way. So I'm going the complete opposite way. I think this is all about going, hey, great, I'm a great single person. And that's what's magical about this is actually completely the opposite way. So actually thinking about the magazine, which I'm super duper excited about by the way, you are not only showcasing these singles, but you're kind of like being their biggest fan by, you know, showing them off to the world and saying, do you want to date this Amazing, busy, single professional who is, I guess, proactively searching for a partner. So what are they saying when you meet them? When what are they saying other than I don't know why I'm single? What are they telling you about what they have been doing or haven't been doing? What do they have in common? If they have anything in common, it starts from the usual. So it's I've been on Tinder for many years or any other app, FYI, apologies. Or I've been on various dates and it just hasn't gone well. I didn't do my due diligence, as I like to say. Oh, gosh. So really where I want to come in is bridge the gap and actually be the guy in the middle that kind of goes, right, this person would like to date you, that'd be great. Let's make that happen. Okay, so Richard, I know that there are some exceptional singles listening in for sure who are thinking I'm great and I want to showcase my single self in that magazine. What can they do to be in touch with you and what do they have to tell you to be in touch with you? Well, you can email me. How do they make the cut? How do they make the cut? Essentially they just have to show their true colours and if I pick that up, be great. We send them on a photo shoot and we get a full length profile done. Oh, my goodness. They have a photo shoot. Photo shoot, yeah. So somewhere around London or somewhere somewhere close to them. We don't want to go like boudoir or anything but something really nice which shows off their colours. So it's all very tasteful. It's all tasteful. So if I'm going to contact you and I'm really keen to make the cut. Gosh, I sound like an Africa now. You sound like there's a cut. Actually, it's not. Okay, so what kind of things do I need to questions do I need to answer or things do I need to be telling you? Does a profile appear? You know, like you can. Oh, gosh. I guess like turning the pages of a mag, it's kind of like swiping, isn't it? You could almost say that it is a full length article. So actually it's for people to read and actually digest and get to know you. It's a little bit, it's taken from the slow dating concept, just allowing yourself to immerse yourself in someone and say, actually I might really want to date this person. So it's a bit more intricate than that. Yes, it's very personal as well as very loud. And then. Okay, so say I'm reading the magazine again, apologies for hacks. I am about it. Do I see a single and think, oh my gosh, that is my prince or princess charming and I want to apply. Do I apply to date them? Yes, if you're a reader, you can apply and I do the matchmaking in the middle. Okay, so then Richard is my allocated matchmaker, who's making the introductions. So do you get to decide yay or nay, that applicant is suitable or not? Pretty much. Oh my gosh, it's even better than I thought. So it's not only you applying, you're actually, no offense, but you get sieved out if you're not a suitable match. So it's kind of like you're not wasting time, you are invested and you know that it's all checked and verified by a professional matchmaker and every, every single person in the magazine has invested in that. But there's got to be some input financially. Am I making an investment for the matchmaking? How does that work? So yes, so every person who showcases has invested in being in the magazine and having the matchmaking associated with that. So essentially my time is spent making sure that the matches that come to them are of the right type for them. Like minded, on the same wavelength, similar values. Okay, this is exciting. And is everybody in London or are they nationwide? Yeah, so at the moment I'm working with people in the southeast, but I have had people from abroad, America mainly, just saying, can you feature me? I can imagine the Americans are going to love this. If you're listening in across the pond. Hello, Richard, would love to hear from you. So would John. And as it's online, it's international as well. So it's not like the metro which just reaches out to the edge of London. It's online and it's available this. Great. I can't wait. So any singles listening in that want to showcase themselves in this magazine, whether you're entrepreneurial or not, I guess it doesn't matter what walk of life you're from, right? Indeed. I am working with John as the single boss to get in. Entrepreneurs especially, it just means they can talk about their business and as well as themselves as well and have a little bit of, a little bit of both going on in there. And Richard, where did you realise that this was your calling other than the single boss as a venture? Where did you realize that this was a gap in the market and you thought, oh, I've really Got something here. And singles are going to love was it was meeting people and just seeing their colorful selves. And it's like, how could you reproduce that in a way which is just really bright and colorful and essentially a just colorful. A magazine? That would be great. And the reality is, as far as the digital footprint goes, if you're on a dating app, you're putting yourself out there anyway, so why not put yourself out there in a way that showcases your best self? And I guess you're helping them to do that with like a third party input. Because a lot of the clients that I have, you know, if they're doing online dating, they don't actually know what the best photo is to have, what the best bio is to say about themselves or the best way to portray themselves. So they really struggle with putting the best version of them. According to. I met somebody the other day and I said, how, how are you not getting the date? Show me your profiles. Oh, I do that a lot. Get them out, show me, lay it all on the table. And then I said, well, these photos are not doing you any justice. You don't look like that in reality and you haven't said anything in your bio so it's like you've got nothing to say for yourself. So I think what you've got is a really exciting, for lack of a better word, product to bring to market to help singles connect. Tell me a little bit about what you love most about the single boss events. I just love the different types of people that come along and mingle. As John mentioned before, we have people from young to old, various age ranges and actually we all come together in a room, just talk a little bit about business, a little bit about relationships and just really get along in the room. And it's nice, as one of the co founders suggests, be in a room and mix with people as well. And for a Thursday night it's just a great evening. So you tend to do them on Thursday nights. That is the model. Gosh, yes. Because I think that's a really. Especially in London. I don't know how it is for other cities across the UK and oh, actually will you be doing them across the uk long term goals? At the moment we're just in London, so we're very central in London, which means that people come from as far as Stevenage or Cambridge or down as far as Brighton. Hopefully we'll expand to the rest of the UK very soon. Yes. And I think that Thursday is a really great evening. Everyone thinks it's the most Sociable night of the week in London. It truly is, isn't it? Yeah, totally. So what do you hope to do in terms of making an impact in the dating industry? What is your long term goals as a duo with a single boss or solo? Tell me everything. So I'd say our next step is to work with the best entrepreneurs. We can maybe have meet the Entrepreneur sessions where we invite people to actually meet entrepreneurs themselves and hopefully set up some dates from there, bringing the matchmaking angle into the events as well and just make sure that the connections are pretty much set up and go strong. So you're going to be mixing and mingling and matching people at the events and you'll have the best of the best entrepreneurs talking at events, I think Paddy Strange, but better. Yeah, we mentioned that cheekily in the break before, didn't we? So could you tell us in a quick fire round top three tips to navigate successfully the single boss events? Oh, that's a good question. What would you say? I'd say come along and relax because it's a, it's a pressureless environment. Arrive with no expectation, I guess arrive with no expectations and find a topic outside of your normal interest to talk about. It means that people can gravitate towards you and actually understand you're not just about business really. And if you feel a bit overwhelmed, there's people around you here to help as well. I do that as the matchmaking and John as well. That's a really good point because it can be quite daunting to arrive at a singles event and hope to network and make the most. But if you feel a bit overwhelmed, you've not done that before, you're not feeling so confident or whatever, then knowing that you've got experts on hand to connect you and to chat with you is great. John, Richard, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you. So I'm so Louise Ryan here on Love Lessons. We have been eradicating loneliness as a single, as an entrepreneur and in London. So this is Love Lessons and we'll be back next week. Welcome to the women's radio station supporting women's well being. 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