Love Lessons LIVE SHOW – Saskia Nelson, Building A Date Winning Profile

Hello and welcome to Love Lessons at women's radio station. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. We're here on the show Love Lessons where we talk about everything, dating to breakups, to finding love and starting over again after a divorce. So welcome. Today we're going to be talking about styling yourself and your online brand for success professionally or personally. We are here with Saskia Nelson. Say hello. Hello. Saskia is the world's first online dating photography business. Not herself, but she has a business called hey Saturday and has recently launched HeyTuesday, which styles yourself and your photography for professional success using all Those platforms like LinkedIn, Twitter, all of that stuff. Well, she can tell you more about that. So welcome, Saskia. Hello. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. So great to have you in. So, oh, by the way, we are live on YouTube and on air, so do tune in on all platforms if you so wish. If you want to see Saskia's gorgeous jumper. Yeah, no. So, Saskia, we are, unfortunately, in the midst of breakup season. We are, yes. It's very sad. At this time of year, people do tend to break up. I think Christmas and New Year both, like, that's when everyone just realizes the stress of everything. Yeah. Yay or nay. Yay or nay. The pressure cooker that is the holidays and Christmas. Yeah. And then I think with the new year, it's kind of looking for a fresh start, isn't it? So it's kind of a good time to go. Do you know what? That relationship, that was hard work. I'm ready to move on and New Year's a good time. This must be actually quite a busy time for you and your business, is that right? It is. December's quiet, I think, but the minute we. Well, actually it starts from Boxing Day. Unbelievably, as soon as we get roll into Boxing Day, the bookings start coming in and then they build up and then they go a bit mad around payday as well. So, yeah, January, like the third, third week of January, payday, then we get a massive uplift. I suppose, though, over December, there are so many holiday plans and dinners and drinks events, nobody wants to look a bit hungover. I would say that probably mid November, we see that's the one time of year when we see a massive drop in bookings because it's usually quite steady throughout the year. But yeah, it's quite noticeable then. And then that lasts, like I say, Boxing Day, things start picking up again. It's quite funny that it's actually on Boxing Day. But I think people are just kind of sitting there with their family going, oh, I don't want to be on my own again. I don't want another Christmas on mum and dad's couch. All of those questions like, have you met someone? Have you been dating? Your auntie wants to know who's your latest boyfriend? And you're just like, I can't do another. So I think actually it's probably a couple of things then, motivating you to get back out there and, and also motivating you to kind of like rejig and reinvent yourself and style yourself to have success in the new year, I guess. Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, everyone kind of goes into the new year going, right, I'm going to do things differently. You know, I want to be different, I want to look different, I want to be better. How can I be better? And when you're talking about dating, that's a good time to really kind of change up your profile and kind of, yeah, just create a new version of you. 2.0. I call it 2.0. Love that. So what is it that holds a lot of singles back online from getting the best out of their swipe ability? I guess there is one thing that holds people back and that is self confidence or self esteem or self love, whatever you want to call it. But that is the one thing that holds people back and if people nailed that, they'd be flying. And I know from personal experience the difference that self confidence can make. So I was doing online dating. I did it for years, eight years probably on and off, until I met my partner, woohoo. And we've been together for years now. But yeah, when I first started online dating, I was really excited by it. You know, I'd kind of meeting anyone you want online. It was amazing. I was just like, yeah, this is awesome. And then obviously after a while, you know, there's rejections flying around. You're rejecting people, people are rejecting you and suddenly you're like, oh, okay, hang on, this isn't as much fun as I thought. But what I realized was I couldn't blame online dating for that because online dating, all that is, it's a tool that connects you with people. So that isn't what's making me unhappy. It's funny how many people do like to blame the tool. Yes, but there's no point going, oh, online dating is rubbish. It's like it makes me miserable. No, you're making yourself miserable. All online dating does is connect you with people. That's awesome. It's all about your mindset as well, how you think about it and how you approach the situation. Exactly, exactly. So when I realized that, I was like, okay, this isn't about online dating. This is about me. So. So I read a book on building my self confidence and oh, my goodness. That's when I built Saskia 2.0. No way. Yeah. What is this book? Are you allowed to plug it? Well, it's going back quite a few years now, so it was called how to Be youe Own Life Coach by Fiona Harold. But there are many other books now, like how to Be a Badass, you know, by Jen Sincero. That's pretty much a similar book. So there's lots of books out there that focus on, like, rebuilding your confidence. You would really help so many listeners if you could send that list to me and I'll put a blog together at the end of our live and attach that reading list so people can kind of create. That's a great idea. Because honestly, yeah, if you create U 2.0. So I literally, when I finished this book and there is work to do, it's not just, I'm going to sit and flick through it, there are exercises, and then the harder you work at it, the more you build your confidence. But after that, I literally. I started dating millionaires. You know, I was getting picked up in Porsches. I sound like I'm making it up, but it's not. You can ask my mom who's listening. I suddenly start, hi, Mum. I suddenly started meeting these guys who, you know, were a completely different level to the kind of guys. I'm not saying they were great guys. I didn't end up with any of them. I didn't want to, but. But the point was, the old me wouldn't have believed that I could date guys who were multimillionaires who drove Porsches. But this me was like, hell, yeah, of course I can. Like, I'm amazing. It's almost like, you know, styling your mind for success, whether it's professionally or, you know, personally in your dating life. It's like what you believe you can achieve. Absolutely. Because there was no difference to the old me or the new me in terms of physically, I was exactly the same. You know, it was literally my mindset that had changed. That's all it was. And suddenly I'm attracting all kind of people. And it was so interesting to do that kind of. It was almost like an experiment, you know, like, I'm just gonna see, I'm gonna read this book, I'm gonna work really hard at it and see where it leads me. And you know, it transformed my dating experience. So that's what I say to my clients who come to me and they're like, ugh, I hate online dating. Well, why? There's nothing to hate about it. It's amazing. It connects you with people that you wouldn't really cross paths with. Yeah, exactly. That's amazing. Like, you know, I grew up pre Internet, Trust me, it's amazing to be able to do that. You need to appreciate that. And it's funny because somebody said to me yesterday, Sarah, like, I don't understand, like you're teaching people how to online date, but I really do believe that he's gonna come knocking. And I said, the only person that comes knocking is like D. The postman. The postman. Amazon Prime. So no, he's not gonna come knocking. No, not anymore. No. You do have to also take those steps to put yourself out there. Well, yeah, exactly. And also who would come knocking? You need to have your own standards and go out and find them and put yourself out there in the right way to attract them in. Sitting at home watching Netflix thinking he's gonna knock in a minute. That's not gonna attract anyone, frankly. I know, and you say you go out there and find somebody who reaches those standards, but I think you also have to be super duper clear on what those standards are before you head out there. Because if you don't know what, what your boundaries are, what your values are, what you're willing to accept and welcome into your life, then you'll just welcome any willy nilly. That's not what you want. You don't want to waste your time. It's the one thing in life you can't make enough of or get back. Exactly. Yeah. I would say the first thing I did was as part of Saskia 2.0, was creating boundaries or rules. It's so important. Can you give us some of those? Yeah, I can. So, I mean, they're different. They're going to be different for everyone. But if you know what yours are, you can then go out and date knowing exactly what's what. So for example, I did, I would do 20 minutes a day online dating. I would commit to doing that a day. You need to be on that. You need to be active to consistency. Yeah, I had a, I had one. Which was the most important one probably was if a guy I was seeing after four weeks was still logging on. That was unacceptable to me. So for lots of people Are kind of like, when do I, you know, when do I. When is the time that they should stop logging on? We should be dating exclusively? Well, that's up to you. It's different for everyone. For me, I was like, I'll do four weeks. After that, I'm quite emotionally engaged with this person. I've allowed myself to get emotionally involved. After four weeks of dating, you're starting to go down that road. So if he's still logging on at four weeks, I'll have a conversation that goes something like, I notice you're still logging on. I did check. And you know, that's kind of unacceptable to me. So I'm out of here. I want a guy where it's exclusive. And I can tell you absolutely every guy that I had that conversation with was like, oh, wait a minute, no, I'm not really logging on. I was just checking, blah, blah, blah. And then they committed really interestingly, just to make you laugh, you know, Like I said, I'm not that funny, but we'll try. So with my partner Simon, we met a year and a half ago and I was having a chit chat with him and I wanted to have the exclusion exclusivity conversation because I'm like you, very clear boundaries. I know what I want and I wanted to lay out there on the table. So I said, you know, I just wanted to see if we are exclusive or you date anyone else. And I felt like a fool because he said, oh, I just assume you were my girlfriend now. And I was like, the dating expert has lost her knack. She doesn't even know that this person thinks he's in a relationship. Which I also thought it was about communication. So we kind of giggled. And that is the best possible result that you could have from that conversation where they're like, oh, I thought we're already in a relationship. That's like, score, score on the door right there. So amazing to have you in. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. We're here on Love Lessons at women's radio station talking to hey Saturdays. Saskia Nelson, also founder of HeyTuesday. So we're talking about styling yourself for online dating success. We'll also be talking a little later on in the show about creating an online profile for your professional life that will supercharge your opportunities and success and create consistency with what you're putting out there with your digital footprint. We will also be talking a little bit about Saskia's female founders journey, which I'm so excited about. Oh, yes. Yeah. How did Saskia start her business. So we'll be right back. Welcome to women's Radio Station, the voice of women worldwide. This is Women's Radio Station. You're listening to Avril Price with Kitchen Sink Spirituality. It's Anna Kennedy talking all things autism and my guest today is Karen no. Welcome to future Classical Woman Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on Women's Radio station. 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To donate, simply head to our website. Every little will help. Hello, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome back to Love Lessons on Women's Radio station. I'm here with female founder Saskia Nelson where we are talking about her business, hey Saturday and her other business, hey Tuesday. Styling yourself with your photographs online for personal and professional success. So my main priority is getting to grips with what brings all that. Swipe, right. Ability. No, actually what makes someone swipe? Write a bull. Trying to think of all these fun taglines, but it's not really that funny. So, Saskia, we were talking earlier about confidence being the number one thing or self esteem or whatever, lack of self love, I guess, holding people back from finding a match or getting out there on dates or even chatting to people online. Do you think there's anything else holding people back other than how they feel about themselves essentially? Well, I would say their online dating profile itself is probably, yes, holding, definitely holding people back. So the way people create their profile, what they're writing, the images they're using are definitely holding people back. And there are some very kind of simple things that people can do to really enhance it. So sometimes do profiles just need a little rejig rather than a whole makeover that could create, you know, it depends how bad they are. But yes, it shouldn't be. It should be fun to write your profile. I think the problem is people, when they start on my dating, they want to get to the bit where they're on dates. They don't have to do the boring kind of signing up process and it's a bit laborious and. And people aren't really in a good frame of mind when they do it. So that ends up showing in the profile itself. Right. Whereas what you need to do is get really pumped and like, yeah, life's good and I'm really awesome and what am I really good at? You know, what am I passionate about? And really like thinking about who they are and what they stand for and like writing it while they're in a good space, in a good frame of mind. And that will make a massive difference. Something Gary's. Just go on. Sorry, go on. And I was just going to say, and I think nowadays it's like the shorter your profile, the better. The bigger impact you can have with the less, the least words is where you're at. Your. Pack a punch. Yes, pack a punch. When you talk about the written bit, that's what you need, you know, writing kind of whole reams and essays. No one's gonna read that, especially guys. You know, something you said very early on, just in, you know, that whole realm is that people are online and they want to pack a punch with their profile to get dates. But actually, from what I've seen in the many years in the dating industry, is that so many people are happy to pack a punch, but just to get connects and messages. And they're very comfortable in this realm on their sofa building pseudo relationships with people and chatting and taking those endorphins, thinking, oh, this is a good bit of attention. But then they're not actually making it out onto those dates, and it's just not enough. If you're looking for love. Okay, so you know why that's happening? That's because they're lacking the confidence. Yes. So when you have more confidence, you're willing to get out of that comfort zone. But life's so much better in the comfort zone in terms of how you feel. You want to sit in your comfort zone because it's scary out there and all sorts of things can happen. And it's just easier if you sit in your comfort zone and you create all these relationships with people that don't actually go anywhere. So it's really, you know, if you really want to crank your life up a notch and crank your dating life up a notch and start having like actual fun and actual dates, you have to get out of your comfort zone. It's scary. Baby steps is fine, but you need to do that. You need to. Well, I'll tell you a funny little story. When I became single after a very long term relationship a few years ago back in 2016, I had been talking about relationship advice, dating advice for a very long time, but then found myself single and actually talking about it was a whole different ball game to actually being there newly single after a big breakup. So I was in a holding pattern and started online dating. And while I was running matchmaking agencies and things like that, I couldn't date my clients. So I had to go online. So it was completely for an offline cupid. That was a bizarre thing to do. Started online dating. I thought, oh gosh, I'm in this holding pattern and it's not enough. I'm not getting out on dates. So I went out to a single event called last night a speed date. Saved my life. Oh, I love it. And I can have honestly say if they're listening or watching, that was the best time ever. I think I dated about 40 men in about an hour. And it soon cracked that comfort zone, that holding pattern. And I just felt this whole new leash of energy. And I thought, actually, it's not that scary. I mean, that's it. We're just humans. Yes, that's exactly it. And I think outside the comfort zone looks scary than it actually is. And once you actually just get out there and do push, push yourself to do things, you know, the one thing is it makes you feel good when you achieve something that you wouldn't normally achieve. You feel good about yourself and that racks up the confidence. So it's this kind of positive circle of doing things, feeling more confident, doing more things. And so, yeah, that's a perfect example. Trying something new. Perfect. So tell us a little bit. So we've talked about how photographs can hold us back, not putting our best foot forward with those, how we're not packing a punch with our bios and chit chats and then I suppose how we're like in mindset, that's holding us back. So what is it firstly about bios that you think or a little bit about yourself that can hold you back? I mean, you know, it should be short and punchy, but what's your take on it? Well, I believe that a dating profile should be like a magazine cover. Yeah. So when you go into a shop and there's all these magazines, you look at the COVID and the first thing you're drawn to is the image. That's just how humans are created. We go, oh, I like that, I like that image. So I'll pick that up. Then you see the kind of, the little headlines that kind of tease you about what's inside. And by this point you're starting to make a decision. You'll probably make a decision within a few kind of seconds as to whether you want to buy that magazine or not based on the COVID alone. You then might have a flick through. But you really need to know everything you must know from that cover. And that is what your dating profile should be. So you should have strong, bold, kind of good quality image on the, you know, at the front. Yeah. And then. Yeah. A nice tagline, a nice headline. So something funny, like, I don't know. But what you find funny, I might not. Well, exactly. And that's okay because it's about you. It's about being authentic. So for me it might be something like Magic 8 Ball says hell yes. Or it might be my dog thinks I'm kind of a big deal or something like that because, you know, watch Loofah last night, never again. Yes, exactly. You're getting your personal brand in there. So rather than, you know, looking for my prince charming snore, you know what, you know, like avoid the cliches and find something that says something about You Saskia, I have to ask you this question. It wasn't intentional, but it just popped into my mind. What about those people? I kind of. I feel myself getting a bit angry when I'm about to ask this question. What is it about those people that put in the profile looking for five'11 plus or looking for a female this height or, you know, whatever. What do you think about those strong statements? Really don't like them because I'm five'11. I'm five'11. I'M mixed race when I was dating. I'm five'11. I'm mixed race. And I was late 30s when I was dating. So lots of things that were not ticking people's boxes, if you're looking at boxes. But you know what? That's who I am, and I was proud of it. So you need to own who you are. But it really. It's really not attractive when your profile is really a list of things that you don't want in someone else. What? You know, that's just gonna turn off everyone, you know, List of things that you don't want, things that you're not looking for, but as the law of attraction goes, you're kind of attracted. I don't want someone. Yeah, I don't want someone who's tall. I don't want someone who's, you know, whatever. Okay, well, don't date them then. Yeah, you don't need to tell everyone that. Well, focus on the good stuff. Don't focus on the bad stuff. But I can't tell you the number of profiles where they focus on the negative. And what's really interesting is that what might seem common sense to most people. Oh, well, maybe to you and I. So many people do online, for example, a picture, a group picture as their numero uno shots. What is that? That's my pet hate. Why? I know, because there's so many. No, not why. Is it your pet hate? No, no, no. But there's so many things wrong with that. And people think it's okay, but like, you're just making. You're making it harder, you're making it hard work for someone to practice. Like, where's Wally? Where's Wally? Where's Wally? And then you get people who just. In every photo, it's group shot. So in order to know who you are, they've got to cross reference five photos and figure out who's the same person. I mean, how much work are you trying to put people through? It's like a game. You make a decision in seconds. As to whether to click on your profile, and that isn't the way to do it. I know people are not looking for a challenge, not in that respect. They might look for a challenge in other ways, but not in that, you know, not in that way. Definitely way too much. And they might not like the look of your friends moving on quickly because they're like, oh, no, maybe you've got a group of attractive friends and like, for example, even worse, they fancy all your friends. Yeah, fancy all your friends. Or I have seen back in the day of online dating and friends and, you know, people that have shown me online profiles of people. Oh, here's, you know, a great picture of me in New York. But aren't you with your ex girlfriend or something? Yes. Cut out. Cut out. I mean, common sense. I had a guy at a wedding, and it was his wedding, and he cut out the bride. I mean, I'm not even lying. That was a real thing. I'm trying to figure it out. We're going back a few years. But that was the thing. I think that was the turning point for me, where I was like, there needs to be. There needs to be a company that kind of. He might as well have just left a hole for her face for you to photoshop with a bit of. Yeah, you know, you could see a bit of veil and things. It's like, oh, my goodness, this is your wedding day photo. That's horrific. Oh, my God. So bottom line to this whole segment is that you really need to pack a punch with your online dating profile. And to do that, you really need to take a good, strong look at your photographs. Are they clear? Are they concise? Is there good quality? Same magazine cover? Magazine cover. I mean, we're gonna talk about the whole, hey, Saturday shooting and what it takes and, you know, how you help people put their best foot forward. You also have to go forward with a positive mental mindset about attracting somebody. Don't put anything negative in your profile about, you know, what you don't want or height or hair color. Like, women change hair color all the time. Be open to what's out there. Be open and why don't you talk about what you like to do, not what you're looking for, and then that's attractive. I think I remember I used to look for guys who were taller than me. Obviously a small pool of people. The minute I stopped doing that, things got so interesting, I have to say. Yes. You know, it opened up this whole world of short guys. They weren't that short, but they were shorter than me and it suddenly my life got a lot more interesting. In fact, my boyfriend's shorter than me. But you know what? Ain't a problem. And it's love. It's love. It's only an inch shorter. Saskia, you're so funny. So I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. I'm here with female founder Saskia Nelson of hey Saturday and hey Tuesday. We're here at women's radio station talking live on Love Lessons and we will be right back. Women's radio station is a fresh new broadcasting platform driven by love and passion. Connecting women around the world in a global network is all about diversity from opinions, career, ethnicity, education. We aim to show the individuality of every woman everywhere, providing opportunities and a platform for your voice. Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. I'm Tamina Zaman, founder of Empower and Enrich. When it comes to money, do you clam up or get confused? 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Every little will help. Hello, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome back to Love Lessons. I'm here live on Women's radio station, here on YouTube, on the app and on the website, or with Saskia Nelson, founder of hey Saturday and heyTuesday. So if you're looking to kind of style your photographs for success in your personal life or in your professional life, in fact, Saskia's your gal. Thank you. Thanks for having me. No, it's so exciting. It's a lot of fun. So Saskia is out there in the world, globally, helping singles and professionals style themselves. So. So in terms of their profiles, what they're putting out there, you know, we're creating a digital footprint everywhere we go and we kind of want that to look the best it can. Absolutely. Put our best foot forward. Yeah. First date ready? First date ready. Yeah. Actually, I wanted to ask you about that. So a lot of people, it's January, it's the whole new year, new love, new year, new start, new year, new you, all of that stuff. So what do you recommend to somebody who is putting themselves back out there on the dating scene for the first time in God knows how long? Yeah. And January is the get go. They're doing it now. So I would recommend that first of all, they, rather than just focusing right down on dating, they look at their bigger picture of their life and think about like, am I having fun in life? What am I doing with my life? Because people want to date happy people who are happy in what they're doing. They don't want to date people who are like, I just need someone. And then everything will fall into place, fill a gap. Yeah, my life's falling apart. But if I have someone, they don't want to date those people. They want to date someone who's happy. They've got interesting stuff going on. So what I always say to clients is, what's happening in your life right now? Are you happy? And if they're like, then I'm like, okay, let's focus on that. So January is a great time to kind of start doing new stuff. Putting yourself out there, letting your friends know that you're kind of Actively looking. So basically, broaden your social circle as much as possible. Start saying yes to things and start trying new things. And then when you're feeling like. Yeah, actually. Because as soon as you start trying new things and you achieve stuff, you feel good. It's like this circle of getting a little bit out your comfort zone. Baby steps. I've achieved that. I feel really good now. Then write your profile, then get your photos taken, then start dating because you're in a place you'll start happy people attract good quality people. Yes. And you're not looking for your other half. You're looking for your other whole. Like, the whole point is that you are whole, you are happy. That's good. I actually, I really don't like it when people say your other half because you are totally whole on your own. Or even worse, your better half. What the people say you're better half? That person's got zero self love going on there. No better half. Funny. No, it's not funny. No, it's not funny. You know what a pet peeve of mine and I really love for singles and anyone listening out there, even if you're not single, to eliminate in 2019 is the word busy. Oh, yes. How busy are you? Oh, you can't be busier than me. No. Too busy to start a profile, to get out there or to spend time on it, to just write something, any old thing. Too busy for a coffee. That's like the most important thing you're gonna do is write that profile. Cause that's gonn lead you to love. And so if you do it in two minutes and have you thought about how many times you sent an email, you know, for the business or maybe you or singles out there, maybe you have been chatting someone. You said, oh, I'm busy. But you know, I can do this. I can squeeze you in there or can you squeeze me in or whatever, you know, no squeezing. Make time, make it a priority. Yes, absolutely. Let's eliminate the word busy. I think it's holding so many people back from anything they deserve in their life and let alone love. That's so interesting. Yeah. And I would say a lot of hey, Saturday clients, you know, we make them, we give them a questionnaire because we make them like, go, hang on a minute. You need to sit down and think about this before you go on your shoot. Because if you don't, they'll just rock up like two minutes going, okay, what do I need to do for a shoot? You know, because everyone's so busy. We get that all the time. But then they're investing their time, they're investing in, in their love life, and they're financially making an investment in hiring an expert to take care of what they can't do very well. And so why would you waste that time, money, emotional investment by rocking up two minutes early? It doesn't make sense to me. And the reason is always because they're busy and you're like, okay, I know we're professionals and we can do a lot, but we can't do everything for you. You need to come, you need to be prepared, you need to be feeling it. And then the reality is, if you haven't thought about how you want your hair that day, or what outfits, what outfit you're gonna wear, or how you want to put yourself forward in those photographs, what your personal brand is, you're gonna be a bit upset, I guess, at the end of it. We make them do a pre shoot questionnaire, but it's a fun one. And so they actually sit down and they go, okay. And it really helps them. It's asking questions like, what's inspiring you right now? What do you love about yourself the most? Or yeah, five things that you love about yourself. And it's hard. Some people really struggle. I think that something that has really, you know, made you skyrocket in the dating industry as a, as a human being, you know, let alone a business, is that you have this approachability and real human way of approaching life. I guess, like, you know, it's not this Persona, it's you. And you're, you're talking real talk about how people should think about themselves, how they should approach things pragmatically. And I think you, you've, you've got like quite a cool brand, like a cool stance. And people feel quite like you're approachable. So working with you. And you're, you've got team of photographers. Do they all have the same kind of personalities that like the hey Saturday brand? Yeah. So the hey Saturday brand is like your shoot is you having fun with someone, like someone that you really enjoy. Yeah. A friend, someone that you chew the fat with over a glass of wine. So they're all women and they're all like, you just love to sit down and chat with them. And that is the brand right there. Like you meet them for your shoot, you're like, oh my God, I don't know this person. And within five minutes you're having a laugh, you're relaxed, you know, and you're doing something potentially frightening and outside your comfort Zone. And without fail, our clients, like, you know what, I had such a good time on that shoot and that is the hey Sackdo brand. You're doing something that you really don't want to do. The majority of people are like, I don't want to do a shoot, I hate them. But I just want some good photos. And then they have such a great time because they're fun. We make it fun. So what about those who are dating, let's say later on in life, perhaps they've been divorced or maybe they've been in a relationship for 20 years, 30 years, and they really want to get themselves back out there. They are trying to work on their confidence. What would you recommend to them specifically coming on a hey Saturday shoot? Like, you know, not, not so sure about what to do online, let alone how to style themselves or whatever? Yeah, well, absolutely. I mean, I do bleat on about self love, but I mean, that is the biggest issue with that age group, I would say. Whereas actually, if you turn it around, these, you know, these women, these guys, they've got like life experience, they've got, you know, they've got so much to bring to a relationship. So it's about turning things on their head and going, you know, you don't need to compare yourself to, you know, the millennials or whatever. You're, you, you're special. You've got all these experiences that these younger people don't have. And comparison is the biggest killer of self confidence, isn't it? Absolutely, yeah. So it's really, again, it's about focusing on their self love. And I'm talking about it a lot today because for hey Saturday we, you know, originally we were all about being the first and the best dating photography agency. But now we're moving into being like, promoting self love because we can see that that's the one thing that will make a huge difference to people's photos. So I've seen it myself. I did two shoots back to back, one with a gorgeous woman, one with an ordinary, regular looking woman. And I could see, and I did it the same place, half an hour between, and the gorgeous woman came first and I could see her and I was like, wow, she's a stunner. But she had no confidence and it was really hard work. I couldn't believe it myself. I'm like. And then following her, I worked really hard though. I got some okay shots, but I was disappointed because she was really hot. And then the plane woman came and I could see her crossing the road towards me and oh, my goodness. She was just working it. And these were two women in their 50s and she just had her haircut. She just bought this amazing outfit and you could see that she was just so full of confidence. I love that she rocked her shoot. She absolutely rocked it. And I was just blown away because if I looked at the two women and got, you know, beforehand, I'd be like, well, her photos would be amazing. The gorgeous one and hers, well, yeah, we'll do something with that. And it was completely the reverse. So how you feel on the inside really shows and oozes on the outside. Absolutely. I do think that. And that's something that I can't control. I can't make someone feel better on the inside. It's got to come from inside them. And, you know, I can bring out that feeling. Maybe some of them poses before they do their shooting. Yeah, so we do some grounding exercises as well sometimes. But, yeah, it's, you know, they need to make. They need to come feeling it and it will make a huge difference. It doesn't matter what you look like. And that's a good thing about confidence. It levels the playing field. You don't have to be the hottest person in the room, you have to be the most confident. And boom, you'll nail it. Own it. Own it. Yeah, love that. And what was I going to say to you just then? Well, your hey, Saturday brand is not just, you know, the world's first dating photography business. It's also kind of photography with a side of coaching, because you really care about the clients that come through and you really care about the outcome of those photographs and what, you know, what are they going, where are they going to use it, what they're going to use it for. Do you kind of get a grip on what platforms they're going to put it on? Yeah, I mean, we get quite a few guys in particular want advice on which photos to use, so they'll come back to me after they've had the shoot and say, which photos should I get? And I'm happy to do that because they're not quite sure which ones make them look the best or show the best idea. So women tend to ask their friends, so they're kind of okay because they're cool about talking about it with their mates. But guys will tend to come to me and go, oh, the photographer said I could chat to you. And so I'll have a look at their photos. And that's. I don't mind doing that because, yeah, they just need a female eye to say, well, this one will work really well for your main shot and things. I love that. So 2019 is all about pushing self love. Yes. For hey Saturday. That's exactly it. We're promoting it. That's what we stand for and that's what you're going to see a lot more of. It's all over our Instagram already. Can't wait to get to grips with hey Tuesday and the difference with the approach and what you do there. And gosh, you know how you're keeping so busy with this. I guess it's two businesses, right? Yes, it is, really, but two brands. Two brands, yeah. And they're slightly different audiences, so. Yeah. But it's the same photographers and the same location, so that kind of works. So it makes it easier to manage. So exciting. So I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. I'm here live on YouTube online and on Women's Radio Station app where we're talking with the wonderful Saskia Nelson of hey Saturday and hey Tuesday. We're going to be talking a little bit further about perfecting your online profile, whether it's for your business or whether it's for finding love or getting those dates, I guess. So we'll be right back, so stay tuned. Welcome to women's radio Station, the voice of women worldwide. This is Women's Radio Station. You're listening to Avril Price with Kitchen Sink Spirituality. It's Anna Kennedy talking all things autism and my guest today is Karen no. Welcome to future Classical Women Awards with me, Stefania Passamonte on women's Radio Station. Women's Radio Station, we want to hear from you. I listen to Women's Radio station Women, the possibilities are endless. That's what makes us different. Hi, I'm Liz Van Linden, a UK travel consultant for Hazelmere Travel. People come to me as they want unique experiences and a personalized service. This happens from the moment that they enquire till they come back home. I work with luxury tour operators. 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This is a secret theatre in the heart of the West End. Once found, never forgotten. This is where careers ignite, where playwrights take risks, where great actors perform just feet away from the audience. This is where magic happens. We would love you to join our mailing list or become a sponsor or just buy a ticket to one of our shows. The website is www.germanstreettheatre.co.uk. Women's Radio Station is a not for profit, community interest company. Supporting women is our passion. We're currently welcoming donations to help towards our running costs to keep this important initiative alive. To donate, simply head to our website. Every little will help. Hello, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and welcome back to Women's Radio Station. We're here on Love Lessons with founder Saskia Nelson of hey Saturday and hey Tuesday. Welcome back, Saskia. Thank you. See eased in in your comfortable jumper. Still wishing I'd wore black but never mind owning it, owning it. She's owning the self love and the confidence and the jumper. Yeah, I'm on fire. Always on fire. So kind of want to take a little sidestep away from dating profiles at the moment and talk about your professional profiles online, what you're putting out there into the world and how Saskia can really help you navigate. I guess the consistency, the professionalism and people's perception of you, I guess. Yeah, absolutely. Tell us about that. Yeah, I mean, personal branding or personal brand is basically what people think will say about you out there in the world. So if you don't take control of it, it's happening anyway. So, yeah, there are. People will see you online or see photos of you or whatever when they Google you and they will make decisions about you. So the best thing to do is to take control of that and kind of, yeah, own your kind of brand online. So mine, like I said, if you look at mine, if you Google me, it comes up across quite a lot of platforms. The world's first dating photographer, the world's first dating photography business. So I did that on purpose. That was Obviously something that I planned to do to make myself stand out from the crowd and people, you know, people love the world's first anything so that. So I've had a lot of press from that, you know, from the BBC, Time Magazine, Telegraph, Times, even the Financial Times. So that's my personal brand and something that I've, you know, kind of created. I worked hard to do that. So you can take control of it by figuring out who you are. That's the first thing is define what your brand is and then kind of figuring out how to get the message out there. So I was blogging and, you know, doing all sorts of things, building connections, getting pr and I'd feed that message in. So whenever I was interviewed by anybody, I'd be like, so, yes, I set up the world's first dating photography agency. I am the. And they just copy, they just, they just write that. And that became the headlines for so many articles. So that's created my brand. Now I'm moving more into self love for hey Saturday. So I'm working on how to kind of shift from the world's first. I mean, that's still who we are, but as more and more photographers come on board doing it, that will become less important. So I'm just preparing the brand for when that shift happens. So I do have my own brand, but it is quite tied in with hey Saturday and hey Tuesday as well. And luckily a lot of my brand values are aligned with them, so that works. But yeah, it's kind of figuring out defining who you are and what you stand for that's really important and then getting the message out there. And I would say that defining what you stand for is probably one of the most important things to do when you're looking at kind of business and especially if you're setting up your own business. So do you think that that ties in quite nicely with what we were saying a couple of breaks ago about defining what your values are, defining, you know, what you like best about you and what you're willing to put up within the world and what you're willing to not accept. So when you start to figure out what your values are as a person, you will align yourself quite nicely with what you want for your business and for your brand. Absolutely. And that will help you push forward. Yeah, I mean, I don't think you can work on your kind of organization's brand without looking at your own brand first. Yes. So that's. You're absolutely spot on. What are you putting out there to the world? Yeah. And it's going to be linked completely with, well, it should be linked with your business brand. And I think that's where people do go wrong is if they, you know, they don't do the work because like figuring out who you are and what you stand for, it requires work, it requires effort. So people might skip that stage and go, okay, well let's just figure out what do I want my business to do and look like. But no, you have to know who you are, what your voice is, what the business voice is going to be and they need to be aligned. Yeah, you need to find your voice. Saskia, I have got 10 million questions for you and I'm just going to keep rolling through them right now so we can get the best out of this. Love Lessons Female founder I guess Episode so as a woman who has a global business now, you are all over. Tell us where you are. Well, all over the UK and then in LA and New York now as well. So that's pretty transatlantic. Yeah. Hey baby, I'm transatlantic. Are you planning to head anywhere else? So, yeah, I want to do more in the States because there's a great need for it. There's no one doing it there. I've got contacts over there, many of whom in the dating world that you know as well and there's a need for it, so it makes sense. And there's no language barrier. I mean, I do want to go to Berlin and Paris and you know, there's lots of cities. I can see you doing really well in Berlin because you're Amsterdam as well. But yeah, Berlin is. They've got some really cool dating agencies over there, dating sites and things. They're quite forward thinking in terms of dating and there's lots of startups and lots of English speaking people there and so, yeah, that has definitely been on my list. So actually in the dating industry, I'm sure you won't mind me saying that you work across a range of platforms. You work with people offline, such as matchmakers, coaches, and then you also work online, I guess with people who are putting dating apps. Yeah, and single people. Yeah, and single people. So you really kind of tapped the market as a female founder on all levels. And can I ask you, as a woman who founded a business, have you ever found yourself with a little bit of imposter syndrome or are you totally nailing that self confidence since you've read that book? Yeah, well, nailing self confidence is a daily thing. I have to wake up every day and choose to believe in myself. And on days When I don't, it's hard work. So, yeah, I was interviewed recently for another magazine and they asked that, they asked that and I said, yeah. The one thing that lets me down is if I. It's my mindset. So the biggest challenges are ones that I create myself. So I have to wake up every day and go, do you know what, Saskia? Come on, do this, do this, let's do it. I love having a mantra for every day. It's really funny because before you were saying, you know, you have to take control about what people think about you, what they say about you, because they get their. They'll do it anyway. They'll do it anyway. They'll get their perception wherever they can find information about you. And actually I have something opposite in terms of mantra about that. It's what other people think of you is none of your business. None of your business. So I guess it ties into the same thing. But yeah, except when you wanted to sell your brand. But I know that that's more. Yeah. For self confidence. Yes. Not worrying about it doesn't matter what other people think of you because it's what you think of yourself that's important. So. No, absolutely. So can you tell us a little bit about what people can get from hey Tuesday? Your professional personal branding for people that are Putting out on LinkedIn? I guess, yeah. So I started hey Tuesday really because I had so many hey Saturday clients going, oh, I want a photo for my LinkedIn as well. Do you do that as well? And I started having a look at what other kind of photographers, corporate photographers were doing in terms of. For LinkedIn. And they were all gray background, gray or white backgrounds, indoors, studio stuff. And I was like, oh, goodness, that isn't very exciting at all. Where's people's personal brand in that? It wasn't there. Oh, they don't show any personality. No personality at all. So, yeah. And I just thought, you know what, I'm going to start hey Tuesday and it's going to be bringing out people's personality just as we do for hey Saturday, but with the, you know, but the vibe is for business. So, you know, they're not going to be sitting there with the coffee necessarily, although it depends what their job is. For some coaches and stuff. They might be, you know, people, people buy people. And if you're not showing the fact that you're human and have a personality in your photograph or in your bio or whatever, then people are not going to be interested. Absolutely. And now for hey Tuesday, our biggest clients are Small companies really? Yeah, and charities. But many companies with about 20 they are. So they're kind of, you know, startups or whatever and they don't want boring old corporate backgrounds, they want their personality coming through. So we get a lot of companies for hey Tuesday, which is great. And then yeah, obviously regular people who are usually people who work for themselves or wanting to work for themselves will come and get a shoot with us with HeyTuesday. So what kind of platforms are they putting these photos out on? So a lot of them are doing for their own websites, for their own businesses. So we have coaches, you know, masseuses, even lawyers, you know, people who are starting up on their own. So meeting some really interesting people actually. So usually it's for their website and then they might use them as well, things like their HuffPost articles and things like that, which is great. So we love that. And then also LinkedIn, of course. I mean LinkedIn really people, if you're not using a nice good quality image on LinkedIn bad, that is not good. Do you know what gets me? A lot of people that choose not to use a photograph on LinkedIn or that's so 1992. Why are you hiding? Yeah, and the same. Yeah. I mean when you go to a networking meeting, you're not meeting people with bags over their heads. You want to see who they are. It's the same on LinkedIn. If you want to connect with people for business, you need to show who you are. Show who you are. People buy people if they can't see you because you've, you know, you're not, you haven't got a private profile but you've decided that, you know, that's the end of that. People can't see you because you're hiding or whatever. People are not going to do business with you. No, absolutely. So Saskia, I've had the most wonderful time and I'm sure the listeners have too. Thank you. This has been awesome. I want to get kind of like a quick fire three point round of the three top tips that you would give someone for branding themselves personally and professionally for success and hopefully love success in 2019. Okay. So I would say start working on your self love, most important thing and then I've got two tips really. And then secondly, figure out what you stand for. So what your values are, what your lifestyle is, what your personality is and from that you'll figure out who you are and what you stand for. For me it's self love but you know, for everyone it's something different. And Then build that into your, you know, your dating profile or your business profile. I love that. It's like figuring out who you want to be and just be that, you know. Absolutely. Because by then you'll have the self love. So you'll be. Yeah, you just be that, decide who you are and do it. And also I just want to touch on something that Saskia and I got to chit chatting about in the break that as a female founder or as with anything, if you want to get out there online dating, you're waiting for the right time or you're waiting for the right time to launch your business or the right time to ask x or Y on a date. Well, there is never a right time, there's never a perfect moment. Just do it. Yeah, it's like, is there a right time to have a baby? Probably not, no. But people do it all the time. Just get your ducks in a row so that you got a backup plan if you need the ducklings. Yeah, I'll make the joke again but just get started as a side hustle, whatever or you know, so self love, confidence and just get out there, have fun, get out of your comfort zone. Brand yourself for success in love and in business in 2019. Saskia Nelson. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. It's been amazing. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan and this is Love Lessons. 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