Love Lessons – Mirka Danaziova

Hi, guys. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. I am here with the wonderful Mirka Donatsiova. You are listening into Love lessons at women's radio station. I'm here. Hi, Mirka. Hi, Sarah. Thanks for having me. Thank you so, so much for being here. Today we're going to be asking Mirka what it's all about. To be a coach for women, to empower women, to help them get on the right path to finding their partner, or what's it all about? How do we need to be in the right mindset? How do we go about it? We're going to put so many different scenarios at Mirka to ask her her best advice, to put our best foot forwards as women to find the love that we so deserve. So, Mirka, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. So tell me a little bit about who you are and how you got into this whole minefield that is coaching. So, as you said, my name is Mirka Dan Otsiwa, and I would like to call myself a singles coach rather than relationship coach for singles, because that's my expertise, helping single, especially single ladies, to gain back their dating confidence, really get to know themselves, the mistakes they have been making in the past and why they're actually not in a happy relationship. Do you think we women hold ourselves back from finding love sometimes? Of course we do. Of course we do. We're getting in our own way. It's ridiculous. And with Mirka's help, then hopefully we can get out of our own way and find the love that we truly do deserve. So tell me a little bit about your business. Tell me what is it all about and how do you. How long have you been doing it and when did you first realize that this is what you wanted to do, help women get on the path to finding love? Right. So I've been on a personal development journey for a while now, for a couple of years, probably, I don't know, six, seven years. And I have been through a lot of heartbreak and broken relationships until I realized my mistakes through this personal development journey. Then I was able to really find my career and also be at a place where I'm. I'm myself and I don't. I built up my confidence and changed careers until I got in a place where I'm ready to meet my partner. I know who I am. I know what I stand for, what I believe in, and I actually recognize all the mistakes I made along the way. Now, I trained as a transformational coach. What is that? So There is different types of coaching. You get high performance coaching, you get business coaching. I have actually chosen to become a transformational coach because that particular way of coaching doesn't only deal with the issue or with the problem. The clients come to me. It actually transforms them on a deeper level that they can create a lasting, you know, change for themselves. Lasting, positive change. So when a client comes to me, I am single, and I want to find my partner, we don't deal with only that surface issue of not having a partner and wanting a partner. We actually go deeper and we look at the clients. Yeah, values, assumptions, beliefs, and everything that is holding them back from creating that relationship. But also, once they recognize, they will see other parts of their lives that were not working, that were actually sabotaging for them to being in a relationship. So that's why transformational coaching for me allowed me to not only get my clients from A to Z, but also transform them and that they can. They can really get that lasting, lasting change in their lives rather than I got you here. Yeah. That's why. Thank you so much for that. You know, coaching is such a powerful tool. And I have always heard the terminology coach, and for me, it's always been a scary term. You know, through my life in business, through my love life. Do I need a relationship coach? Do I need a dating coach? Do I need a business coach? Do I need a life coach? And I've always thought, oh, my gosh, coaching's for people that really need something. And you know what? I took a leap of faith with coaching for the first time ever, because I give dating coaching myself. But I just thought, you know, I suppose I had this own belief that I didn't need coaching in some way. I took on a Life coast business coach last year. Oh, my goodness. I've never had so much clarity in what I needed in seeing the wood through the trees with finding love again, which is possible. It is out there, and I found it for sure. And getting clear on what's going on in my work life, my professional life. So I really value the work that coaches do, particularly as a radio presenter at women's radio station. We are worldwide. We reach women in all different corners of the world. And it's so amazing to have a coach that's on here who empowers women to be the best version of themselves, to find the best person for themselves. So why don't you tell me a little bit about your client base? Like, I'm not saying specifically because I know coaches can't do that, but who are they? What kind of problems do these women encounter and how do you help solve them? Right. So I predominantly coach ladies, but I do have gentlemen as well. It's much fewer because it seems like gentlemen are more courageous. And they. How would I say? They are not really into personal development and they. They don't really want to. Maybe that might be my assumption. But I predominantly coach ladies that are around late 30s, 40s, and also early 50s as well, that have been single for a long time. What I mean by that, for longer than four or five years? Actually, most of them are. Yeah, around the. Around 10 years that they have been single. They've been either divorced or they. Relationships just didn't work out. And now because they have been single for such a long time, they completely forgot. Not really forgot, but they sort of lost their dating confidence. But also, yeah, I could say forgot, like, who they really are and what they really want from their partner because they were under, you know, either too much pressure of caring for their children or, you know, finding their careers. They are now like, okay, this is it. This is the only part in my life that needs to change, and I'm ready now. But they can't, you know, they. Not in a place where they could actually go out and date because they need to work on themselves first. So would it be fair to say that these women are making others and other things priority, but not really showing up enough for themselves and what they truly deserve? Yes, that's correct. Correct. Nail on the head. Okay, so what kind of questions would you pose to. I'm a woman that has been single for 10 years, and I feel petrified about getting back out there. The thought, the notion, the idea of a first date is making me feel physically sick. I've seen it happen. It's out there. I mean, what would you advise to those women or for getting advice, what kind of questions would they need to be asking themselves to show up for themselves? Yeah, that's a very good question. So I would probably start examining what is it exactly they're fearing? Because it could be anything. Like, we all are different and we all have our own experiences, and we, you know, went through different. Different scenarios in our lives. So I would ask, what is it exactly they're fearing? And then instead of asking them particularly, what is it they fearing? For example, like, is it the people around you or what they think about you? I just ask them, what is it you are fearing when you are in public or about to date someone? And then I let them talk. It sometimes takes even 10 minutes till they dig down. And just when they verbalize things, some things become much clearer to them and they will realize, like, actually I'm not really fearing to meet someone, but I'm fearing to look bad. Or in the past, I don't know, someone told me that I should not talk in a particular way or to strangers. So it always goes down to know what is the underlying issue of them fearing to go out there and be in a relationship. It could be even that they are afraid to be in a relationship, but they blaming the fact that they scared to go out and date, they blaming it on that. I'm scared to date, but they're actually scared to be with someone. Do you know, as you were just talking, there's so many profound things that you just brought up there. But what I was actually hearing was vulnerability. We're scared as human beings to go out there and be our most vulnerable selves. For what reason? Why are we scared to be vulnerable? Why aren't we showing up and just really owning, okay, this is how I feel. Fear of getting hurt. Fear of getting hurt, fear of rejection, fear of, you know, the notion of letting ourselves down. Vulnerability. I think we should totally talk about that in a second. So I'm Sarah Louise Ryan, this is Love Lessons. I'm here with Mirko Donatsiova, the coach for single women worldwide. Hi, I'm Michelle Bartlett, the founder of Live Laugh Love Ladies Club. We're looking for ladies to link arms across the globe. This is a new vibrant brand connecting women socially. Our club members enjoy great food, fun and inspiring speakers whilst making friends in a room of all generations. And if you're a social butterfly in the community, this fast growing franchise could be for you. If you would like to know more about stepping into our pink shoes, then look at the business opportunity page on our website. Live laughloveloveladies.club also@womensradiostation.com Women's radio station will give a voice to your brand. Advertise your product, services or goods on air with a package tailored to suit you. For more information visit womensradiostation.com hi, I'm Sarah Austin and I'm the founder of the really Helpful Club. An online and offline community that helps supports and connects thousands of women in our personal and business lives. We are buzzing. Join us to share and discover your best ideas. Come to our events to meet other members and learn something. New book now for our London workshop on 10 May, helping you prepare for and manage the menopause membership is free. Join now by visiting reallyhelpfulclub.com Please also find us on thewomensradiostation.com Anna Kennedy Online is a national charity made up of charity champions and role models. We are forging a path to autism awareness and acceptance. We are dedicated to promoting the inclusion and equality of autistic children and adults throughout society. We provide training, legal advice and a helpline. If you need a listening ear, contact www.annakenakennedyonline.com Adam and Alice London are a British luxury fashion label offering timeless collections for bold and beautiful women at affordable prices. Enter the giveaway lucky draw for a chance to win a fabulous silk dress made from pure silk crepe, fully lined with digital printed silk and handcrafted details. Worth 475 pounds. Available in two colours, Mazarin Blue and pastel. See the dress and enter our competition on the giveaway page on Women's Radio Station Ready for a challenge? Then take on the Pink Ribbon Walk for Breast Cancer Care Coming to Oxfordshire and Essex this summer, we've got everything covered from snacks along the route to a massage and medal. When you cross the finish line and while we support you with every step, you'll be doing something special to support the thousands of people going through one of the toughest challenges they'll ever face breast cancer, visit breastcancercare.org UK Walk Women's radio station is creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter womensradiostn or Facebook. Women's Radio Station to keep up to date Keep up to date with all our exciting news. The soap company is a social enterprise manufacturing soap in East London and in Keswick in the Lake district. We have 114 employees, 80% of whom are blind, disabled or have a long term health condition. We're creating real jobs for those people. As I said in East London and in Keswick. The soap company is a luxury ethical brand free from sls, pegs, triclosan, petrochemicals and other chemical nasties. We're bee friendly and we don't test on animals. Most recently we have launched an Eco range which includes a rhubarb and geranium scent and a wild nettle and sage scent which was inspired by the British countryside. You can create real social value and real jobs for people living in the UK with a disability or a long term health condition by purchasing our products 1,300 milliliter bottle of our hand wash or hand lotion creates 1 hour of employment if you purchase a 5 litre bottle for a business, this creates around 2 hours of employment for somebody who is blind, disabled or has a long term health condition. For more information please visit www.thesoapcode.org or for business inquiries please email B2B. That's letter B number two bhesopco.org at distinctively me we're passionate about making clothes that complement any body shape through our made to Measure tailored pieces. Distinctively Me's smart and elegant clothes are made in our London studio from the highest quality fabrics and will create the perfect outfit for any woman. Our trousers, skirts and jackets are modern yet timeless and can be worn season after season. Visit us@distinctivelyme.com to be amazed at our service and prices. Distinctively me discover the pleasure of Made to Measure I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. This is Love Lessons at Women's Radio station. I'm here with the wonderful Mirka Donatsova. She is a coach for single women trying to find love wherever they may be, in whatever corner of the world they may be in. And today we have been talking about mindset. What is coaching? How can coaching help women clear their minds and get clear on what they want? And so Mek has been telling us a little bit about who she is and what she does and how she helps women, but we just touched on something really incredible about vulnerability. Vulnerability and how we're scared as human beings, let alone women, to show up for ourselves and to really show up on dates because we're scared that things might not work out. We're scared that we're going to let ourselves down, we're not managing our own expectations, we're fearful and it's a scarcity of being vulnerable. So let's talk about vulnerability. Mirka, what is it in your opinion? Vulnerability? This is another good question, me included and my clients as well. We are so scared to get hurt, to be let down or to look bad. So that's why we either put on particular Persona not to get hurt or we are fearing even putting ourselves out there to show really who we are. So I think vulnerability goes hand in hand with being authentic, being yourself, because you can't live your life fearing, you can't live your life pretending and not being vulnerable as such. But can you say, you know what I was just thinking as you were talking, like you always say so many things that just trigger all of these relationship expertise, things that just go around in my mind and I was thinking about the sense of belonging and how we're Scared to be vulnerable and be our most authentic selves, as you just said, because we don't want to stand out from the crowd. We want to fit in. But actually, when we're fitting in, surely we're not doing ourselves justice. So is it okay to stand out from the crowd? How do we step into our most authentic selves and just own it and own the power of it? But what does it mean, stepping out of the crowd? Like, I view every individual as they. As individual. So I don't know when someone says, like, stepping out of the crowd. What I was addressing is, for example, many of my clients, and including me as well. When I was in a relationship, I was so happy that I became so fearful of losing my partner that I have stopped being vulnerable. I stopped being authentic. And that's when I started putting on this guard or a Persona even. I. I stopped being myself. I started watching what I was saying, how I was acting, and being unaware of it. I. I wasn't being vulnerable. I was just being. I don't know. I just put on this. This, you know, fake Persona that doesn't want to get hurt. And no matter what, you know, I was just guarding myself. And. And obviously what happens. My. My partner left me because he did not recog you. So that's why I say vulnerability and authenticity are the key elements of being in a relationship. Yes, you are vulnerable in a way that if someone is not treating you right or is hurting you, yes, you can become vulnerable. But you know when to step away or you know when to step back. Like, okay, this is not what I wanted. This is not what I want you to do me. Do. To do to me. Sorry. So I guess being sensible about vulnerability as well, rather than putting on a Persona or this wall that I'm now protected and no one can hurt me. So actually what I'm hearing is that you were so scared about losing your partner that you kind of lost yourself in being something that you thought he wanted. And in the end, it's not what he wanted at all. He probably fell in love with you for being the most authentic, real version of yourself. And then somewhere along the way, you kind of lost yourself and lost the power of being you. Yeah, and I also stopped being vulnerable. I stopped sharing things that I thought he might think they silly because I thought, I'm not going to be vulnerable. He will, you know, what will he think about me? He will leave me. So I stopped sharing. I stopped interacting. I was. Gosh, I completely lost myself. And, you know, and if you feel Comfortable sharing if you had to say. And maybe, maybe it's like subconscious and you don't even know the answer. But do you think that somewhere along the way in that relationship something happened or you experienced something that made you, like, came up against your values and you thought, oh, gosh, I need to stop being me. Like, can you think of what might have made you get on a different path to your partner and go separate ways? I think it's the. Is the experiences and the events that happened in the past in my first relationship because I felt. I felt like I'm. I felt like this partner is the right for me and I want to spend my life with him. But then I got so scared that what if doesn't. This doesn't work out like the last one? And that's why I thought I need to be someone else to create a lifelong, lasting relationship, because I was just being myself, as in the last relationship, which didn't work out. You know what, when we talk about things not working out, particularly relationships, what I always think is we took learnings, yes, in our mind, they didn't work out. But actually everything is always where it's supposed to be. And things don't work out for a reason, like, because the best love is waiting out there for all of us. And, you know, the best life is waiting. And so I suppose it's how you frame those scenarios, like, what did you take and what did you learn and how. How can we be our most authentic and vulnerable selves to make a relationship last? I always think that it can come down to communication. I mean, what do you think about communication? At the beginning, we were communicating well, it was incredible. But as soon as I started withdrawing and having these anxious thoughts, I completely stopped communicating because I was so aware, like, what I'm saying, what he will think about me, that I completely stopped communicating. And even if we just sat down and I would be vulnerable and share with him what I was feeling, I don't think I would be, you know, at the same place, like, we might have stayed together if we would sit down and communicate clearly. This is how I feel. I'm anxious that you will leave me. I feel like I'm not good enough of a partner. But I never addressed it. So I was scared to be vulnerable. I was scared to share. I was scared to communicate. So you have taken your learnings from relationships that didn't work out. And gosh, I know that I have too. So if you had to give three top tips to kind of put clear in your mind the learnings and what went wrong. And for the women out there who are going through the same so they can start the path for moving forward, I mean what would they have to do proactively? What questions would they have to ask themselves? What delving would they have to do to say okay, I know that I'm okay to start again. So first you have to really get to know yourself. Get to know as like not I know you know yourself but what I mean like we hope really, really know your triggers, really know how you act around your friends. And I think coaching is the easiest way to get you get to know yourself. And secondly, recognize the mistakes you have made along the way and also see the patterns and the assumptions and the beliefs that are actually preventing you from being in a relationship. And thirdly, just show up as your authentic self. Like be who you are rather than going around and pretending I'm this confident person. Just be who you are. Amazing. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. I'm here with Mirka Donatieva. Empowering women to find love worldwide. We'll be back. Women's radio station will give a voice to your brand. Advertise your product, services or goods on air with a package tailored to suit you. For more information visit womensradiostation.com hi, I'm Sarah Austin and I'm the founder of the really Helpful Club, an online and offline community that helps supports and connects thousands of women in our personal and business lives. We are buzzing. Join us to share and discover your best ideas. Come to our events to meet other members and learn something. New book now for our London workshop on 10 May helping you prepare for and manage the menopause. Membership is free. Join now by visiting reallyhelpfulclub.com Please also find us on thewomensradiostation.com Hollywood Babes is a unique ladies wear boutique situated in Thorpe Broadway in South End on Sea. We carefully stick select all our lines and offer you only the very best in women's clothing. Here at Hollywood Babes we ensure you look and feel the part. Whether it is for a special occasion or loungewear. We can help you find that special something to make you feel a million dollars. So pop on down to Hollywood Babes, Thorpe Broadway, Essex and get ready to be styled. Adam and Alice London are a British luxury fashion label offering timeless collections for bold and beautiful women at affordable prices. Enter the giveaway lucky draw for a chance to win a fabulous silk dress made from pure silk crepe, fully lined with digital printed silk and handcrafted details worth 475 pound. Available in two colors, Mazarine Blue and pastel. See the dress and enter our competition on the giveaway page on Women's Radio Station Ready for a challenge? Then take on the Pink Ribbon Walk for Breast Cancer Care. Coming to Oxfordshire and Essex this summer, we've got everything covered from snacks along the route to a massage and medal when you cross the finish line. And while we support you with every step, you'll be doing something special to support the thousands of people going through one of the toughest challenges they'll ever face. Rest. Visit breastcancercare.org.uk Walk Women's radio station is creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter womensradiostn or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date Keep up to date with all our exciting news. The Soap Co is a social enterprise manufacturing soap in East London and in Keswick in the Lake district. We have 114 employees, 80% of whom are blind, disabled or have a long term health condition. We're creating real jobs for those people. As I said in East London and in Keswick. The soap company is a luxury ethical brand free from sls pegs, triclosan, petrochemicals and other chemical nasties. We're bee friendly and we don't test on animals. Most recently we have launched an Eco range which includes a rhubarb and geranium scent and a wild nettle and sage scent which was inspired by the British countryside. You can create real social value and real jobs for people living in the UK with a disability or a long term health condition by purchasing our product. One 300 milliliter bottle of our hand wash or hand lotion creates one hour of employment if you purchase a 5 litre bottle for a business. This creates around two hours of employment for somebody who is blind, disabled or has a long term health condition. For more information please visit www.thesoapcode.org or for business inquiries please email B2B that's letter B number 2 bhesopco.org hi, my name is Gary Parker and my company is called CNT Associates. We provide fundraising, business support and training services for small businesses, charities and non profit making organizations. We've raised over £20 million since 2003 and we'd like to help you. Visit us ntassociates.com or on Twitter NT Associates. Hi guys, I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. Welcome back to Women's radio station. I'm presenting Love Lessons. And I'm here today with Mirka Donatsiova, the empowering coach for women and their single lives worldwide. Helping them find love, helping them get to grips with what's holding them back from finding love. And today we've been talking about sharing. No, being their most authentic selves. You women out there looking for love, stepping into your power by being authentic, sharing vulnerability, being vulnerable because it's okay. And also getting back out there. So what we're going to talk about now is singles events. So I'm a human being, let's say, that's been single for 10 years. Not true, but let's say, and I decide that I'm going to go to a singles event because. A singles event because online dating is far too daunting for me right now. All I really know is speaking to human beings. It's the only way. I met my last partner in a bar, in a club, in a, you know, social circle, dinner on a Friday, whatever it is. And so now I'm gonna go out there to a singles event. I'm petrified, let's say. What am I going to do? How am I going to conquer the nerves? What am I going to do? What am I going to ask myself to eradicate how I'm feeling? Don't be afraid. And that's it. That's a wrap. Yeah. No, you. So I. I think, I believe the first thing is like, to tackle or to really figure out, like, why are you scared of going to singles events? And what I would do with my clients, for example, when they decide, okay, there is this singles event next week and I'm petrified and they need some support. So first of all, I would ask them particular question that can actually help them to realize what they're really afraid of. It might not even be that they're afraid of meeting someone in public. It might be that they will either embarrass themselves or they will get rejected or they will look stupid once we tackle this, once they are aware, like, whatever assumptions they have about themselves and about singles events and all the limiting beliefs, once we tackle that, then I would move into what would empower you. And I actually, on my Facebook page, I did give some advice and I told my personal story how I have been successfully in sing. I've been successful at singles events. Like how I went there comparing to when I went first time and I was super scared. And I had. I felt so ashamed, even ashamed to be there. I felt ashamed being single and seen at A singles event. So I went through a lot of internal work, but then also I learned certain techniques that help and I would love to share them with you if that's okay. I am so excited for Mirka to share them. I'm going to tell you a little story and I'll tell you why I'm excited. I used to run singles events for about six years and for me it was the most exciting thing. It was bringing people together. And so, you know, singles event after singles event, month after month would. I would go supper clubs, to mixers, to soirees, to parties, whatever. And because I was in a very long term relationship, I couldn't quite put myself in the shoes of a single who was there feeling sick with nerves about being there. And then I became single and then I went to a singles event and I felt and I understood and it became clear to me why so many people felt the way they told me they did when they went to a singles event. And you know what? I did what most people who drink a lot of wine do? I drank lots of wine. And that's to dull the nerves, to dull empty the feeling of vulnerability and sharing yourself with all of these new people and you don't know the outcome and you're not in control. And so I had alcohol and I think it's very common. What do you think about that? Yeah, that is actually one of the most common things singles do. They have to have that boost to get rid of the nerves to show up shaky and nervous because. But I have a different approach to this. You don't actually need alcohol to feel more confident and comfortable in at singles events. So as I mentioned, it starts with your mindset. The way you go to that event. You have to get into a space where you are like, okay, this is singles event. Everyone is on the same boat, everyone is single, no one is different. And you have to treat everyone as equal. No one is better, no one is worse. So you go there like, I'm just going to have a good time if I meant to meet someone and I meet someone brilliant. If not, it's fine, I can go to the next event. Maybe I will make connections with someone who might know my potential partner. So having that mindset that there's no expectations, I'm just going to have a good time. Everyone is equal to me. I Even if you see someone extremely good looking and you attracted to them, they not better than you. You just go there like, okay, they the same place as I am and it's okay, it's okay to be single. Second thing I would say is just make the first move. Like, don't be afraid to talk to people. Don't be afraid to approach them. Don't be afraid to engage in conversation. It's. They don't lose the opportunity. Exactly, exactly. If you find someone attractive and you think like, I actually like them, so just go over and start a conversation. It could be anything. Just ask them what drink they drink in or if they have waiting for other friends. Whatever it is, just be creative and make the first move. Now I know for some people it's really difficult. It's super difficult to just go and talk to person. I was like that as well. I used to have this chat in my head, like, what if they will turn around? And they were like, yeah, right, I don't want to talk to you. Which would never happen to you. No way. Well, actually it never happened, so. But I was still afraid of it. But now I know I have these thoughts, like we all do. It's our ego or whatever you call it, telling you like how not good enough you are. Even though if you went through a lot of personal development, you still do have some of these fears. But instead of listening to them for too long and, and ruminating, like, shall I approach them? Shall I not just count, five, four, three, two, one and go. Because that's when you stop actually overthinking. You just go. You don't have a chance to think what could go wrong, what not. And once you get into it, it becomes easier because you approach one person, second person, third person, without any expectation. Not being like, you know, like a player or just, you know, just being. I'm now talking to everyone and you know what I mean, like not looking standoffish or something. My two strategies, one, go to a speed dating and then you don't need an opener because then everyone has to to speak to you. That's on the other side of the table. They've got no getting away. So that's what I thought. Speed dating, you know, maximize time, date a ton of people in an hour. Bish, bash, bosh, you know, six dates at the end of it, whatever. And then another tip I would give, which you might think is bonkers, is go to a singles event and just kind of get in your mind that you're hosting the party. That's a good one. You're hosting the party. How are you? How's it going? What you here for? Have you met such and such that I've just met? You are the host. Oh my Gosh, you will radiate confidence. What do you think? That's a brilliant idea. I actually completely forgot about it. I heard that before that you are pretending to be a host and you in a mindset of like making other people feel at ease because then they will feel good around you and connected. Like I relate to her, I'm. I actually like her energy and that's how, how people you know will enjoy their time with you and you don't really need to worry about anything. And look, every relationship starts with friendship. So let's just pretend we're making friends first, right? Exactly. Woohoo. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan, this is Love Lessons at women's radio station. I'm here with the wonderful, empowering Mirka Donaziova. Thank you so much for being here. Hi, I'm Michelle Bartlett, the founder of Live Laugh Love Ladies Club. We're looking for ladies to link arms across the globe. This is a new vibrant brand connecting women socially. Our club members enjoy great food, fun and inspiring speakers whilst making friends in a room of all generations. If you're a social butterfly in the community, this fast growing franchise could be for you. If you would like to know more about stepping into our pink shoes, then look at the business opportunity page on our website. Live laughloveloveladies.club. also@womensradiostation.com Women's radio station will give a voice to your brand. Advertise your product, services or goods on air with a package tailored to suit you. For more information, visit womensradiostation.com hi, I'm Sarah Austin and I'm the founder of the really Helpful Club, an online and offline community that helps supports and connects thousands of women in our personal and business lives. We are buzzing. Join us to share and discover your best ideas. Come to our events to meet other members and learn something. New book now for our London workshop on 10 May, helping you prepare for and manage the menopause. Membership is free. Join now by visiting reallyhelpfulclub.com Please also find us on thewomensradiostation.com Anna Kennedy Online is a national charity made up of charity champions and role models. We are forging a path to autism awareness and acceptance. We are dedicated to promoting the inclusion and equality of autistic children and adults throughout society. We provide training, legal advice and a helpline if you need a listening ear. Contact www.annakenadyonline.com Adam and Alice London are a British luxury fashion label offering timeless collections for bold and beautiful women at affordable prices. Enter the giveaway lucky draw for a chance to win a fabulous silk dress made from pure silk crepe, fully lined with digital printed silk and handcrafted details. Worth 475 pound. Available in two colours Mazarin Blue and pastel. See the dress and enter our competition on the giveaway page on womensradiostation.com Ready for a challenge? Then take on the Pink ribbon Walk for Breast Cancer Care Coming to Oxfordshire and Essex this summer, we've got everything covered from snacks along the route to a massage and medal when you cross the finish line. And while we support you with every step, you'll be doing something special to support the thousands of people going through one of the toughest challenges they'll ever face, breast cancer. Visit breastcancercare.org.uk Walk Women's radio station is creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter womensradiostn or Facebook Women's Radio station to keep up to date Keep up to date with all our exciting news. The Soap Co is a social enterprise manufacturing soap in East London and in Keswick in the Lake district. We have 114 employees, 80% of whom are blind, disabled or have a long term health condition. We're creating real jobs for those people, as I said in East London and in Keswick. The soap company is a luxury ethical brand free from sls, pegs, triclosan, petrochemicals and other chemical nasties. We're bee friendly and we don't test on animals. Most recently we have launched an Eco range which includes a rhubarb and geranium scent and a wild nettle and sage scent which was inspired by the British countryside. You can create real social value and real jobs for people living in the UK with a disability or a long term health condition by purchasing our product. One 300ml bottle of our hand wash or hand lotion creates one hour of employment. If you purchase a five litre bottle for a business, this creates around two hours of employment for somebody who is blind, disabled or has a long term health condition. For more information please visit www.thesoapcode.org or for business inquiries please email B2B that's letter B number 2B at the soapco.org at distinctively me we're passionate about making clothes that complement any body shape through our made to measure tailored pieces. Distinctively Me's smart and elegant clothes are made in our London studio from the highest quality fabrics and will create the perfect outfit for any woman. Our trousers, skirts and jackets are modern yet timeless and can be worn season after season. Visit us@distinctivelyme.com to be amazed at our service and prices. Distinctively me discover the pleasure of made to measure. I'm Sarah Louise Ryan. Welcome back to Women's Radio Station Today presenting Love Lessons. As always, I'm here with the wonderful, empowering Mirka Donatsiova. We have. Welcome back, Mirka. Thank you. We have been talking about so many great things, good stuff that we need to know as women out there dating again. Say you've been single for five years, 10 years, three years, doesn't matter. It could be three months. But you are so nervous about how you feel in yourself. There are things holding you back and you don't know how to kind of, you know, break down those barriers to meeting your someone. And so you're kind of trying to trudge through that mud. Mirka is the person to come to who's going to help you get out of the mud. Awful analogy, but very true. Today we talked about vulnerability. We talked about about authenticity and being the most authentic version of yourself to attract a partner. We then talked about eradicating all of the negativity to positively push towards meeting someone. We went to a singles event in our show and we shared some stories about singles events, how to navigate them to get the best results. And now we've been to a singles event. Let's say we've gotten the dates in the bag. Maybe just one date. Maybe there's only. We only need one really, don't we? So we've gotten a day in the bag and so the next step of vulnerability is right there in my stomach. Oh, my gosh. Bag to date. Really hot guy. Can't wait to go on that date also. I'm so nervous. What am I going to do, Mirka? How am I going to tackle it again? The question comes in like, what specifically are you scared of when meeting this guy? What? What is it? I am scared, let's say of what are we going to talk about? What if we don't have things in common? What if he doesn't mirror my values and doesn't treat me the way he'd like to be treated because I've not been treated so great in the past and I'm looking for the best. I want the best date today, the best partner tomorrow, and the best romantic partnership after that. I don't want to waste my time and I'm scared of wasting my time I'm fearful. Okay. It's understandable that you want the best and you are now afraid that you know everything you've been through, that it will repeat itself. But the thing is that you can't make the situation to go the way you want it because you can't actually make that person like you and have your values. You can't. You just. You are not in control of other people's behavior. So what I would say, I would ask, how can you show up at this, this date as yourself? And because relationship doesn't, as you said, like relationship starts with friendship, I would ask, how can you make this person your friend? How would you treat your friend? You know, what would you talk about with your friend if this was your best friend? Oh, my gosh. I think something should be left outside of the day. Now. What would I talk about? I'd want to know how their day was, what's going on with them, what are they getting up to over the weekend. I mean, the last thing I would probably want to do, which I know so many singles out there do today, is I don't want to talk about religion. I don't want to talk about politics. I don't want to talk about family tradition. I don't want to talk about how successful you are or how well established you are on your career ladder, but I really want to get to know you. But even still me knowing that, I would still be worried. But there are a lot of women out there I know who are asking all of those questions that I don't want to ask. I don't want to know about where you sit on the right, the left, or whatever. I know that can also come down to values for some people. But what do you think about singles being nervous to ask those questions but doing it anyway, like interviewing their dates? I know. Well, the thing is, I always say we are all so different. Everyone is so unique. And who knows, you might meet someone who wants to be asked those questions. Yeah. You know, but what I would suggest is, as I said, treat your first date as your. As your. As you would meet with a friend, but also have this little, you know, pinch of getting to know them slightly more than a friend in a way that you would like to find out their values, what they care about. And you can take those conversations quite deep that you really get, get a feel of how this person is in real life, because at the first date, everyone shows up as they best and they, you know, they're not vulnerable. They just want to look good, impress you. Especially if they like you. So. But, and also knowing that they at the same place as you are, they just as nervous as you are. And, and just. I don't know. You do know. You know better than most people. I can tell you that for sure. Okay, so I've gotten to the first date. I've gotten to grips with all the things that I want to talk about. After the date. I feel unsure, mainly about myself. Unsure how did I conduct myself, Unsure about what he's feeling. What kind of questions should I be asking myself at the end of that date when I'm on my way home? What do I need to get in touch with first? You have to be aware of your feelings, how the date made you feel. If you felt for some reason intimidated or anxious about certain things, like really, I would recommend journaling on it because the first impressions and especially the first date, there are some hints that will show, like this person is of a particular character. Will I want to pursue you dating him or her? Now, journaling is a great way. And just ask yourself questions that will really show you how you felt and how you, how you put, how do I say it? How was it being in the, you know, being around that person? Because then you could, you could find things like, okay, this is the thing I didn't like about him. And then, and then, and then ask yourself, why is this thing a problem? Something that you just said. Which really resonates with me. When I've been single in the past and gone on days, I always want to go away from the day asking myself the question, how did that person make me feel? Not what did they say. It's like they say when you go to a business event, you know, it's not your name, it's not your occupation, it's not how you conduct yourself, it's how you make other people feel. So that's the same question for dating. How did that person make you feel? Yeah, definitely. And I would really watch out. Even they could be really good looking and you're attracted to them and there is a chemistry. But even if there's a little tiny thing like not sure about the question, it question, question, question. Because you want to be sure that there is nothing that, that could potentially grow into something big. You know, some, some singles are so in a need of being in a relationship, they actually don't see those warning signals at the, at the first date or the second date. And they will discover it later on and they're like, oh, I should have known better. But that's why yeah. Just how you feel and what are the signals. I know so many people who have been in relationships for months or years and then only started to discover things that they didn't like or didn't match up with their values or what they were looking for and what they wanted. And I think it's a couple of things, in my opinion, is that A, you didn't trust your gut on those things, like, and your gut is never wrong, or B, you made a choice to ignore the things that you were seeing, hearing and feeling because you were C trying to fill a void of loneliness. Right. Is that what you're saying? Exactly. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah. I think that all of your advice today has been incredible. So you have been empowering women here at women's radio station and giving them the tools to eradicate their vulnerability or for them to at least say, yeah, it's okay to be vulnerable, step into their power, their most authentic self to then go ahead, ask themselves the right questions and navigate singles events to bag the date, hopefully get the guy or girl and communicate effectively by asking themselves all the right questions. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me, Sarah. Thank you so much for being here. Sarah Louise Ryan Love Lessons Women's Radio Station See you again soon, guys. Women's Radio Station will give a voice to your brand. Advertise your product, services or goods on air with a package tailored to suit you. For more information, visit womensradiostation.com hi, I'm Sarah Austin and I'm the founder of the really Helpful Club, an online and offline community that helps supports and connects thousands of women in our personal and business lives. We are buzzing. Join us to share and discover your best ideas. Come to our events to meet other members and learn something new book now for our London workshop on 10 May helping you prepare for and manage the menopause. Membership is free. Join now by visiting reallyhelpfulclub.com Please also find us on thewomensradiostation.com Hollywood Babes is a unique ladies wear boutique situated in Thorpe Broadway in South End on Sea. We carefully select all our lines and offer you only the very best in which women's clothing Here at Hollywood Babes we ensure you look and feel the part whether it is for a special occasion or loungewear. We can help you find that special something to make you feel a million dollars. So pop on down to Hollywood Babes, Farbay, Broadway, Essex and get ready to be styled. Adam and Alice London are a British luxury fashion label offering timeless collections for bold and beautiful women at affordable prices. Enter the giveaway lucky draw for a chance to win a fabulous silk dress made from pure silk crepe, fully lined with digital printed silk and handcrafted details. Worth 475 pound, available in two colours, Mazarin Blue and pastel. See the dress and enter our competition on the giveaway page on Women's Radio Station Ready for a challenge? Then take on the pink ribbon Walk for Breast Cancer Care Coming to Oxfordshire and Essex this summer, we've got everything covered from snacks along the route to a massage and medal when you cross the finish line. And while we support you with every step, you'll be doing something special to support the thousands of people going through one of the toughest challenges they'll ever face, breast cancer. Visit breastcancercare.org.uk Walk Women's radio station is creating a global network for the empowerment of women and we want you to be involved. Join us on Instagram and Twitter womensradiostn or Facebook Women's Radio Station to keep up to date Keep up to date with all our exciting news. The soap company is a social enterprise manufacturing soap in East London and in Keswick in the Lake district. We have 114 employees, 80% of whom are blind, disabled or have a long term health condition. We're creating real jobs for those people. As I said in East London and in Keswick. The soap company is a luxury ethical brand free from sls pegs, Triclosan, petrochemicals and other chemical nasties. We're bee friendly and we don't test on animals. Most recently we have launched an eco range which includes a rhubarb and geranium scent and a wild nettle and sage scent which was inspired by the British countryside. You can create real social value and real jobs for people living in the UK with a disability or a long term health condition by purchasing our products. 1,300milliliter bottle of our hand wash or hand lotion creates one hour of employment if you purchase a five litre bottle for a business. This creates around two hours of employment for somebody who is blind, disabled or has a long term health condition. For more information please visit www.thesoapcode.org or for business inquiries please email B2B that's letter B number 2 bhesopco.org hi, my name is Gary Parker and my company is called CNT Associates. We provide fundraising, business support and training services for small businesses, charities and non profit making organizations. We've raised over £20 million since 2003. And we'd like to help you. Visit us ntassociates.com or on Twitter NT Associates.